Positive parenting feb ed 20

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PUBLISHER 2Luni Media EDITOR Linda Navon 071 346 8138 OUR “Little Boss” Carmen Che Jardim SALES & MARKETING Cj Stott Matticks 082 900 1010 FREELANCE WRITER Arizona Quinn DISTRIBUTION & RESEARCH Lee Coulter OFFICES Sonata Square Olivedale TEL: (011) 462-2900 0110 262 643 FOR ADVERTISING PLEASE CALL Cj ON 082 900 1010 Email: candida@childoftheuniverse.co.za

DISCLAIMER The views expressed in this publication are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the editor, advertisers or endorsers. While every effort has been made to ensure that the contents of this publication are both accurate and truthful, the publisher and editor accept no responsibility for inaccurate or misleading information that may be contained herein.

ed’s letter Hello and a belated Happy 2016 to all our readers This is our first edition for the year – we took a bit of a time-out to enjoy Johannesburg while everyone went to the coast.

I remember in my younger years living on the KZN coast, and how my mother used to dread all the ‘Vaalies’ arriving in droves as soon as the Universities broke up. Then second onslaught of happy campers would arrive with half their homes on trailers. Needless to say, it was not a difficult decision to get her to move up to the Vaal once all us kids (and I use the term lightly) had moved up here.

We are already into the second month of the year, and should I make you really cringe by telling you what the countdown is to the next Xmas?

Nah… think I will run out of fingers and toes for that.

This year holds a lot of challenges for everyone, and whether we are aware of the environmental and planetary changes, please understand that whatever you are feeling, you should recognize, observe, and try to keep your head together.

I am a very emotional person, I feel things deeply – I can’t stand to read the news or hear about someone who is in trouble, so I bottle it up, until my fuse funs out and I literally explode…. So, it’s certainly time for us all to be more observant of each other, and what people are battling with, and show some compassion. First of all though, you do need to nourish yourself before you can give to others..

In the March edition of Positive Parenting you will find that we have most of our sections back in the mag. We will be covering a lot more on the topic of ‘Bullying’, First Aid in the home and where to get training on basic first aid for all members of the household. We will also advise on what you need to carry in your car in case of emergencies.

Other topics will deal with some of your New Year resolutions, if they haven’t left by the back door yet. Stop Smoking, get your body in shape, if you didn’t do in before you bared it on the beach! Extra-mural activities for our little people, and much more.

We have a surprise interview with visuals and sound set up for the next mag – all I am going to tell you is that this 12 year old will knock your socks off.

Our team is growing yet again, we have two new fantastic Marketing girls joining our team in a few days time. We have revamped our logo and the website is in the process of a complete make-over.

Enjoy our 20th edition, and please join us on Facebook, and subscribe on our website in order to stand in line for the many hampers we have each month to give away. This month we have many Hay House hampers for adults, teachers and children of all ages.

www.childoftheuniverse.co.za

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By the way, if you would like your children, or yourselves to be in the magazine, please feel free to send us pics. We prefer to use friends and family as opposed to random pics from websites.

See you in a few weeks again.

Much love Linda and Cj xXx

The 9 Months of Pregnancy

Have you ever wondered how a baby develops so rapidly and fully in his or her mother’s womb? Well, this astounding short video demonstrates the mind-blowing process for us to witness. It’s a computerized, fast-paced – and accurate – window to the womb.

Life is truly wonderful! In fact, the development of human life in the womb is just amazing. Did you know that everything about you — including how tall you would be, the color of your eyes, and the color of your skin– was all determined at the time of fertilization? Monthby-month you grew in the safety and comfort of your mother’s womb until the big day of your birth finally arrived!

“Life in the Womb” is a fascinating video that gives us the story of the unborn child, and demonstrates the fetus development in the Uterus. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v= MbJlmQwFxWs#t=37

15 Adorable Facts About How Babies Learn

By Shaunacy Ferro For the first few years of a baby’s life, everything in the world is new.

Learning is a 24/7 process. They have to figure out how to move their bodies, how to manipulate objects, how to understand and use language, and more. It’s an understandably exhausting process. Here are 15 things you might not know about what’s going on in the learning infant’s mind: 1. THEY START LEARNING IN THE WOMB. The parts of a baby’s brain that process sound start working during the third trimester of pregnancy, and it can remember what it hears in the womb after it’s born. For instance, one study found that Swedish infants only 30 hours old could differentiate between Swedish vowel sounds and the unfamiliar vowel sounds of foreign languages. Another found that when expectant mothers listened to a soundtrack with a made-up word, the infants recognized that word and its variants after birth.

2. THEY START PROCESSING LANGUAGE LIKE ADULTS AT TWO DAYS OLD. At just a few days old, infants use language processing skills similar to those adults use. People remember the beginning and ending syllables of a word more clearly, and listen for those semantic edges more carefully, since they often contain things like verb tenses and information about whether a noun is plural or singular. A 2015 study finds that long before they can talk—within two days of birth—infants are already using this trick, and can distinguish even when there’s a 25 millisecond pause between syllables or a small discontinuity in the sound that might indicate a different word or two separate words.

3. MOVING THEIR MOUTHS HELPS THEM LISTEN. Infants need to move their tongues to distinguish between sounds, according to a study of 6-month-old infants. Psychologists and audiologists found that when a pacifier prevented babies from moving their tongues, they were not able to distinguish between two novel “d” sounds.

4. IMITATION IS KEY. When babies watch an adult use a specific body part, their brains light up in the areas that correspond with that particular movement. A study of 14-month-old infants found that watching an adult touch a toy with her hand or foot activated the same regions in the infants’ brains associated with moving a hand or a foot. This neural empathy might help babies learn to imitate adults and make the same movements themselves.

5. TOUCH HELPS THEM UNDERSTAND WORDS. A 2014 study from Purdue University found that infants relate touches to the sounds they hear at the same time. Every time the experimenters said the nonsense word “dobita,” they touched the infant’s knee. Once, the infant was touched on the elbow at the sound of another nonsense word, “lepoga.” In a subsequent language study, the infants pulled the word “dobita” out of a stream of words, suggesting that the consistent touch helped them learn the word.

6. SOCIAL SKILLS HELP THEM ACQUIRE NEW LANGUAGES. Several studies have found that social interaction is key to babies’ early language acquisition. One study of 10-month-old babies who received Spanish tutoring found that when babies tracked their tutor and the toys she was holding more carefully, the infants had a boost in brain response. In other words, their social interaction boosted their ability to absorb the lesson. Previous research has shown that babies learn better through interactions with people than through video or audio recordings.

7. THEY LEARN MUSIC VERY EARLY. Before a child learns to understand language, talking sounds a lot like music—it’s repetitive and rhythmic. “So while music and language may be cognitively and neurally distinct in adults,” as psychologists write in a 2012 review in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, “we suggest that language is simply a subset of music from a child’s view.” The authors suggest that a child’s understanding of music parallels its initial acquisition of language, and merits a central place in our understanding of human development.

8. MUSIC HELPS THEM COMMUNICATE

A 2012 study of 1-year-old infants found that interactive music classes lead to better communication.

The babies learned to play percussion instruments and sing songs with their parents in an early music class.

Compared with a control group, these children showed a greater sensitivity to musical structures and tones, along with better early communication skills like waving goodbye or pointing to an object they wanted.

9. LAUGHING HELPS. Babies develop a sense of humor around 18 months old. One recent study found that laughing can help kids learn new tasks. In it, 53 babies were taught to retrieve a toy duck with the help of a cardboard rake. Babies that laughed in response to the researcher’s demonstration were much better at performing the task than a control group. Almost 95 percent of the kids who laughed raked the duck over successfully.

10. SURPRISE IS KEY.

Infants learn best when they’re surprised, a recent study found. When an object behaved in an unusual way—like a ball that appears to pass through a wall—11month-old babies paid more attention to it, and chose to explore it more. They handled the ball and tried to test its solidity, learning more about the world in the process. When the ball behaved in predictable ways, they didn’t focus on it or try to learn more.

11. THEIR BRAINS ARE SHAPED BY EXPECTATION. Very early in life, infants learn to make predictions based on their previous experience. A study of 5- to 7-month-old infants found that the part of the brain that responds to visual stimuli also responds to just the expectation of seeing something. The researchers showed a group of babies a pattern of images and sounds—a honk or a rattle followed by a red smiley face. When they stopped showing the image but played the sounds, the babies still showed activity in the visual response areas of their brains.

12. NAPPING IS CRUCIAL. If babies didn’t spend so much time sleeping, they probably wouldn’t remember what they learned. Infants are constantly learning during their first year, and they’re also constantly napping—they’re rarely awake for more than four hours at a stretch. In an experiment where researchers taught babies how to remove a puppet’s mitten and find a hidden bell, infants who napped right after the demonstration were better at recalling the demonstration. This ties in with research that finds that adults, too, consolidate memories as they sleep.

13. THEY CAN LEARN FROM ANIMALS. Think your baby is only listening to you? Think again. Infants can also learn from lemur vocalizations, a 2013 study found. In it, 3-month-old babies looked at images of dinosaurs while some sort of sound played in the background—human speech played backwards, and lemur shrieks. A previous experiment found that babies learned categories of dinosaurs better when human speech played. However, the backward speech—essentially just random sound—didn’t help the babies learn.

The shrieks of lemurs, however, did, suggesting that even if babies don’t understand the language, vocalizations can stimulate their learning process.

14. THEY LEARN TO ENJOY CERTAIN FLAVORS AND SMELLS BEFORE THEY’RE EVEN BORN. Babies’ senses start working before they’re even born, and they can learn to enjoy certain flavors and odors in the womb. One study found that babies whose mothers drank carrot juice for three weeks straight during their last trimester of pregnancy enjoyed the flavor of carrots more when their mother introduced them to solid foods compared to infants who hadn’t been exposed to carrot juice in the womb and during lactation. Another study found that infants whose mothers consumed anise (a plant with a similar flavor to licorice) during pregnancy showed a preference to the smell immediately after birth and when they were four days old.

Babies in the control group showed a clear aversion or no response to the smell.

15. BUT THERE ARE LIMITS TO WHAT THEY CAN LEARN. While infants’ capabilities for absorbing new information are amazing, they aren’t miraculous. Some educational companies advertise the ability to make even a 3month-old literate, but a 2014 study of infants and their parents found that literacy DVDs and other media tools geared toward infants under 18 months weren’t effective in establishing the ability to read. They did, however, make the parents feel like their kid was learning.

All images via iStock

Reasons Why Your Child Should Never Be Forced to Hug Anyone (Yes, Including a Relative) 1. It Teaches Your Child That They Don’t Have Control Over Their Own Bodies This is particularly relevant for female-presenting people.

In our patriarchal world of the male gaze and body policing and sexual assault, it’s hugely important to teach girls (as well as everyone else) that it’s never okay to be made to touch another person when you don’t want to.

The message doesn’t even have to be in a sexual context.

A person’s body is their own body.

They can do what they want with it.

They can pierce it and tattoo it and color its hairs and fill it with organic vegan cheese and drown it in bourbon and jump it out of an airplane with a parachute and turn its penis into a vulva and run it 14 miles every morning and have it sleep until noon and draw little smiley faces on its fingers for impromptu puppets.

Seriously. Whatever you want. People shouldn’t care, and you shouldn’t care about them caring. Yay everyone!

But when something such as being forced to hug (or be hugged by) people at a young age, we’re instilling the message that our bodies are never our own.

Instead, we’re saying that a person is everyone else’s physical and political property.

And that’s not cool.

2. It Implies That You (Or Adults in General) Have the Right to Touch Your Child How They Want, When They Want

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As a little girl I spent many happy hours helping my mother make jams, bottle peaches, and bake biscuits. I also watched when she was sewing. Years later when I was running my own home, I found myself doing all the things my mother had done; but it was only when people approached me for advice or assistance that I realized just how much I’d learnt from her.

Our children are constantly learning from us – both the good and the bad – and carry their lessons into the future. But the hectic lifestyle of the 21st Century often means that we don’t have enough time for our children and somehow they have to learn many things on their own. It’s really important to make time for them, and ensure that we give them the best parenting we can. Here are a few tips for you:

Parental leadership: Make sure that what you say is what you do – don’t tell children that you expect them to do one thing, and then you do the very opposite – for example – telling them not to procrastinate while you are obviously doing just that; or that they can’t have a fizzy drink and then you drink one in front of them!

You end up losing both their trust and cooperation.

Trusting the leadership of their parents and knowing that they have plans for the future, makes children feel safe. In addition, children with well-defined boundaries who know what is expected of them, enjoy greater feelings of security. They also need to know that they are much loved, and wanted, and that they are an integral part of the family. Many children with ADHD never get to experience these feelings.

Use your leadership skills to create win-win situations and watch your family ties get stronger.

Clear communication: Clear and effective communication ensures that children know where they stand and what is expected of them. It also entails giving children the opportunity to express their opinion honestly and be heard. When your child has something to tell you, be encouraging and listen more than you speak. Make eye contact and watch him/her as they talk. Give them the opportunity to unload. Avoid criticizing or giving quick answers when they are sharing, and in the process you’ll be giving them the opportunity to work things out for themselves.

This supports family trust and respect which are both important to happy family interaction.

Rules of the home need to be the same from day to day, and should never be dependent on your mood.

Build on their strengths Avoid asking children to do more than they are capable of, as this only leads to failure experiences which are all too often carried into their future.

Rather take time to learn about and understand your children’s challenges and (often hidden) difficulties. This makes us better able to help children with ADHD improve in these areas; sometimes they are able to move beyond them.

So much time is spent focusing on the challenges of ADHD that we often lose sight of these children’s strengths and abilities.

Identifying their strengths and giving children with ADHD opportunities to succeed can make a huge difference to the way they see themselves. Success in one area may improve functioning in others.

Show appreciation We all want to feel valued and so do our children.

Let them know that you appreciate them and the things they do.

Thank them often, and you’ll be teaching them to thank you too.

Families frequently struggle when one child cannot do as well as their siblings. Identify that child’s gifts (or strengths), and provide opportunities so that he/she can do well and have recognition for what they have done.

Catch them (or notice) when they are working hard at doing something, so that you can acknowledge their effort even though their results might not be as good as the next person.

Encouragement for effort rather than results can keep children motivated and happy to do their best.

Have fun Humour, playfulness and a fun atmosphere make home a nicer place where children want to be, or bring their friends. Smile, make time to play with your family, kick a ball, have a picnic, go hiking, play board games. Actually these activities are more than just having fun – they all contribute to your children functioning at higher levels at both school and home.

People who are happy and enjoying themselves find it easier to concentrate, to be better behaved, to achieve more. It also helps to bond the family.

All people face difficulties at some time or other, but it’s usually easier for a strong family unit to navigate through choppy waters. Strengthen your family and feel the difference.

Heather Picton

ADHASA is a support group for people affected by ADHD, founded in 1989 by Heather Picton. The organization’s national office is based at the Delta School in Blairgowrie, Johannesburg and there are 40 branches countrywide.

ADHASA supports an ecosystematic approach to ADHD which examines the impact of the child/adult with ADHD on the environment; and the effect of the environment on them. Thus all aspects of the child/adult’s life should be considered.

Using this approach, ADHASA has over the past 21 years improved the lives of thousands of people with and affected by ADHD.

The devastating impact of ADHD usually hides and smothers the strengths of affected people. ADHASA encourages them to work on the areas of weakness, and also to recognize their strengths and build a life on them.

People with ADHD can become valuable members of society.

Phone: (011) 888-7655 Email: info@ADHASA.co.za www.ADHASA.co.za

By Celi Trépanier I’ve been writing about gifted children for a few years now, and the more I write, and the more I connect with parents of gifted children, the more I realize just how misunderstood giftedness is, even among professionals who should have sufficient knowledge of giftedness in children. We need to shed light on what giftedness really is, and try to dispel the myths and misconceptions many believe about gifted children.

The following is a list of facts, traits and issues many would not recognize as a part of giftedness in children. Why such a list? It’s time to banish the many widely-held inaccurate perceptions of the gifted child. The pervasive but misguided idea of the gifted child—the child who excels in school, is well-behaved, is a natural leader and is emotionally mature—is the elephant in the room and that elephant needs to leave.

We need the facts to prevail so that gifted children can have, as all children should, the education and support they need to grow up to be happy and thriving adults.

I’m tired of hearing about her gifted child. What can be so hard about raising a smart kid? They always do well in school.

But you are gifted, you should be at the top of your class!

Sam is in my class this year. He’s gifted, so thankfully I won’t need to worry much about him because I do have a few students who will really need my help!

Ten Facts You May Not Know About Gifted Children 1. It is widely acknowledged that giftedness is an inherent attribute.

Although a few believe giftedness can be achieved through nurturing, the overwhelming consensus is that giftedness is present at birth, an inherited trait.

Chances are very high that one or both parents of a gifted child, as well as siblings, are also gifted. Approximately 2% of the population is said to be gifted regardless of race, culture or socioeconomic status. It is a neurodiversity which does not discriminate.

2. Gifted children do not always excel in school.

Being gifted is no guarantee of success in school or later in life. For many various reasons, a gifted child will not always score well on tests, ace every assignment or turn in his homework. Despite having above-average cognitive abilities, if a gifted child’s educational needs are not met appropriately, he may not show exceptional achievement in school. Many gifted children underachieve in school and often drop out.

3. Gifted children can and do have learning disabilities.

As with any child, a gifted child may have learning disabilities which can negatively influence their achievement in school. Unfortunately, gifted children with learning disabilities, also referred to as twice-exceptional, often go unidentified because their advanced cognitive abilities often mask their learning disabilities. It is common that neither the giftedness nor the learning disability are recognized or addressed in school.

4. Gifted children often develop asynchronously.

Asynchronous development is an imbalance or uneven growth of developing traits, skills and abilities—a gifted child’s intellectual abilities can be years ahead of their emotional maturity and social skills. A 12 year old child who understands high school algebra and science, but is unable to sleep at night alone without a nightlight, a fan and all of his stuffed animals is an example of asynchronous development in a gifted child.

5. Gifted children can have over excitabilities (OE’s).

These are the emotional intensities and sensitivities set off by various forms of physical and psychological stimuli. A constant buzzing sound which causes extreme irritability and the inability to move on until the sound is located and stopped; the strong emotional reaction of shaking and vomiting from seeing a neighbor’s dog lying in the road after being hit by a car; and the gritty texture in 'her mom’s turkey gravy which causes a gifted teen to totally refrain from eating the family’s holiday dinner are all examples of OE’s.

6. Gifted children often have difficulty finding like-minded friends.

Gifted children, with their intellectual, emotional and developmental differences, can have a difficult time finding friends or same-age peers who share and understand their intellectual interests and quirky traits. Parents of gifted children find this common situation the most painful to watch their gifted children experience.

7. Gifted children often feel like they don’t fit in.

They realize early on that they may be out of step or out of sync with children their own age. Feelings of isolation and not belonging can eventually lead to emotional struggles, depression, dropping out of school and even suicide.

8. Gifted children are gifted in and out of school.

It is not only an educational designation or label administered by schools to identify high-achieving children. The emotional intensities, asynchrony and social struggles leave school with the gifted child and follow him home. Being gifted is who they are, not how well they do in school.

9. Being gifted is not a net-positive situation.

Looking back at the above list, there are many facts about giftedness which demonstrate that being gifted is not an all-good-all-the-time situation. Being smarter or able to grasp and master concepts and skills above grade level is not a guarantee that any child has it made and will be successful in life.

10. Raising a gifted child is not easy.

Given the educational considerations, over excitabilities, social struggles and asynchrony, life with a gifted child can easily come with its share of bumps in the road. Additionally, the reality that so many only see the stereotypical gifted child— the child who has it made—means parents find little support or empathy among other parents or adults when they need it most.

Giftedness has its upsides and it downsides.

It has many attributes which are misunderstood by many and are often not associated with giftedness in children.

Because of this, the education of our gifted learners has been a global concern for some time. Every child should be able to receive an education which best meets his or her needs and offers the best chance to reach their full potential. Gifted children should, too.

I wish my child could be gifted and get to attend special classes.

Personally, I think all children are gifted and should be able to be in the gifted program.

Celi TrĂŠpanier is the author of Educating Your Gifted Child: How One Public School Teacher Embraced Homeschooling. She became a passionate advocate for gifted children after tiring of her battles with schools and their misunderstanding and neglect of gifted students. http://www.fractuslearning.com/2015/11/16/facts-about-gifted-children/

Much has been written about using All About Reading with children who have special needs, and we love hearing those stories.

But there’s a group of special learners that we don’t hear about quite as often.

Gifted kids have special needs, too.

But the needs of gifted kids are quite different than those of other special learners.

Generally, gifted kids need to go faster, they make big leaps, they need to be able to interact with content on a deeper level, and they aren’t willing to put up with shallowness or inconsistencies. Though on the surface these may sound like “good problems” to have, they can make the task of choosing curriculum for a gifted child very challenging.

Not long ago, we heard from Matthew Vinson, the father of a gifted little boy. When Matthew mentioned that his son had finished all four levels of the All About Reading program in just over a year, I was anxious to hear more.

But when I saw his video of five-year-old Kobe reading When Dinosaurs Lived: Velociraptor by Kate Riggs, I knew I had to ask Matthew to share Kobe’s story with our readers.

Here’s Kobe’s story, told by his dad Matthew.

Kobe’s story begins when he was around 1 1/2 years old.

I always said that I was going to start teaching my kids at a young age so that they would have an advantage through school. I started with some animal flash cards. I would show him the pictures, say the name, and tell him a few facts about each one. It wasn’t long before he started identifying and pronouncing the names and facts clearly for animals such as rhinoceros, walrus, toucan, and more. I was amazed by how fast and easy it was for him. At the time, I didn’t know how unusual it was for a one-year-old to be able to say these things.

After the animals, I started on numbers 1-100, and within a couple of weeks, he had number recognition down. Then I moved on to letters, and within a few days, he had those down as well.

After the letters, I was starting to realize that I had a smart one on my hands. He loved it, so we ran with it. That Christmas he received an easel, and from that point on, we tackled everything—the solar system, states and capitals, presidents, money, multiplication, decimals, division, food chain, measurements—just about everything we could think of. Except for reading.

I love to read, but wasn’t too excited about teaching it. I like to fully understand something before I can teach it. Just because you know how to read, doesn’t mean you understand the rules for reading. My wife, Tiffany, suggested I quit stalling and start reading. We both knew he was eager to learn and that the timing was right.

But like I said before, I wanted to fully understand reading before I would teach it. I began to research how to teach kids to read—every bit of information I could find, but I was disappointed in what I was finding. By this time, I was probably more confused than I had been before. The information I found seemed to contradict itself and just created a lot of confusion.

Still determined, I kept searching and finally resorted to creating my own reading curriculum.

But one day I was researching phonograms and stumbled on a company called All About Learning Press. As I researched the programs that AALP offered, it seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. And the more I researched it, the more convinced I became. So I ordered All About Reading Level 1—trying not to expect too much, because it just seemed too good to be true.

A few days later I received the curriculum, and standing there flipping through pages, I was amazed. It turned out to be the godsend I was searching for. It had everything I imagined.

Kobe was eager to get started, so we started immediately after receiving it. Kobe loved it…from day one all the way to the end. It took him fourteen months to complete all four levels. He was five years old when he completed the last level.

It was the greatest discovery. This curriculum company has all the answers for reading. Every public school should have to integrate this program into their curriculum, because what the schools offer is a joke compared to All About Reading.

Kobe just turned six. He’s in kindergarten and will never have to worry about reading. He can decode pretty much any word that there is. I couldn’t have been more pleased with this program!

Thank you, Marie Rippel and team! Keep up the extraordinary work. I recommend you to everyone I know!

Not Of This World:

7 Signs Your Child is an Old Soul Children are fantastic. They say what they are thinking, and bring life to everything. Every so often, one comes across a child that seems a little different than most. All children are unique, but some seem “older” than others.

These children display different traits than their peers. Instead of being wide-eyed and simplistic, a child with an old soul is perceptive and complex. Instead of being naïve and spontaneous, your child is sensible and knowing. Instead of being fresh and uncomplicated, your child is experienced and intuitive. (Higher Perspectives) I have a child like this and family members have told me she is an old soul.

I believe I was also an old soul growing up. I never quite got along with my peers and was always more comfortable with older people.

7 Signs Your Child is an Old Soul 1. Otherworldly If you feel like your child is not of this world, that is a strong sign that he or she is an old soul. Your son or daughter may seem out of place and otherworldly. He or she may also tend to enjoy spending time in a world of their own creation.

My daughter does this a lot, and it is hard for me to keep up with what she is doing. But I let her do her thing, and she is happy.

2. Pensive While most kids love to play all day and never seem to stop, those with old souls will tend to stay quietly absorbed in their own little meditative world. They can be considered withdrawn, contemplative, or dreamy. My daughter does this, but she is almost never quiet about it. She shares her thoughts with everyone.

3. Troubles Fitting In Sometimes, children who are old souls have a hard time fitting in with peers. That is because they are not interesting in the drama and day-to-day life of those their own age. My daughter is very caring and is still in kindergarten, but she displays an almost mothering attitude towards her fellow students. “Are you okay?� is commonly heard when she is playing with friends, along with little bits of freely given advice.

As she gets older, I worry that she may experience some bullying, but right now it is not a problem.

4. Down With Authority Children with an old soul are less likely to blindly follow authority.

This is because they tend to be more intelligent and observant.

They consider themselves equal with adults, and this can cause some problems.

My daughter will lecture me when I do something she feels is wrong. I get the worst speeches I have ever received in my life from her, and she is six years old. They are well-thought out, and more often than not, she is correct.

So far, this trait has not transferred to school life.

5. Alone Time Some old souls will have a hard time fitting in with their social circles. Even children with highly developed social skills will prefer to spend time alone. My daughter loves playing by herself, but she also likes playing with her brother or a friend. Spending time alone is good for her. It means she is comfortable with herself.

6. Inquisitive If a child continuously asks surprising questions, it could mean he or she is an old soul. These children want to learn as much as possible, as quickly as possible. This is especially true with my daughter. She comes up with crazy questions that I would never think of. (I have to then find a way to answer them.)

7. Responsible and Independent Old soul children tend to be highly responsible, stable, and reliable.

Because of this, parents often put too much pressure on them.

These children love to help, but if they are too heavily burdened, they will seek out freedom and distance.

My daughter is super helpful, and she has a lot of great ideas. I let her help me when she wants to and don’t force her to when she does not. http://www.davidwolfe.com/signs-your-child-is-an-old-soul/?c=pwf&vp=wdyer

3 Delicious Organic Lunchbox Ideas

By Jennie Lyon Sometimes making a simple sandwich is just the easiest, but if your student is sick of seeing the standard PB&J in his lunchbox (or you’re sick of making it!) it’s time for a box-lunch upgrade! Read on for three new lunchbox standards that we love in our home and think you will too. #1 Wraps and Burritos Wraps are a great way to get a few servings of healthy vegetables into your kid’s day. I like to make extra chicken breast at dinner the night before and combine it with cucumbers, avocado, lettuce, tomatoes, carrots—you name it!—into a hearty wrap the next day. Make sure to include a healthy fat like avocado and a protein like garbanzo beans or feta cheese so that your student gets a balanced meal. Burritos are one of my all time favourite lunch foods and I haven’t met a kid yet who didn’t like them, too! Create a healthy version by combining black beans and brown rice and a sprinkling of cheese. Send some avocado slices, lettuce, or tomatoes in a separate container and the meal is...

#2 Homemade Soup

Hearty, homemade soups and chillis are a great winter lunch to send to school with your kid.

The next time you make a big pot for the family, portion some out into jars or Pyrex containers and freeze or store the portions in the fridge. On lunch morning, simply heat up the soup and pack it in a thermos. Add a slice of seedy, whole grain bread and the meal is complete ! #3 The Re-done Lunchable Instead of serving your kids the highly-packaged, preservative-laden lunchables that come from the grocery store, create your own using healthy ingredients. Put together whole grain crackers and cheese with fruit and nuts or hummus with carrots, celery, pita bread, and almonds for a more filling, much more nutritious alternative.

Get a grip on left-handedness

by Susanne Hugo

Do you feel like you are raising your left-handed child in a right-handed world? You might be concerned about how to help them when they learn to write, use cutlery, play an instrument or practice a new sport. Are you supposed to model some of these activities to them by switching to your left hand if you happen to be right-handed? Or should you let them figure it out as they go along?

The most important thing to remember is that left-handed children develop in exactly the same way as their right-handed peers. The dominance of one hand (or side) over another is determined by the brain and won’t be influenced by the way a child plays or by watching another person, like their parent, demonstrate certain tasks with a particular hand. Children who show a dominance for one side, but are then forced to perform tasks with the other hand, will still eventually master these tasks. However, it could take them a bit longer to do so and they their work might not be as neat and accurate as tasks completed with the naturally dominant side.

Hand, foot, eye and ear dominance is determined by the development of the brain’s hemisphere specialization. During a little one’s prenatal development, nerves cross from the one side of the brain to connect to muscles on the opposite side of the body.

Therefore, a left-handed person simply has a better developed nerve network in the right side of their brain.

Hand dominance is only determined by the age of five and it is quite normal for children younger than this switch hands while doing activities. If you are still unsure of your preschoolers hand dominance at this age, pay close attention to which hand they use spontaneously when drinking from a cup, cutting with a pair of scissors, throwing a ball and drawing or writing.

Hand and foot dominance usually correlates, but cross dominance is nothing to worry about! Some people are also ambidextrous and can use both sides equally well. However, it is often better for a child to have one dominant side which is more accurate and quicker during fine motor tasks.

It is important to note that the development of the pencil grip follows a predictable course for left and right-handed children. You will first see your little one hold a pencil with their entire hand and making use of shoulder movements to scribble or draw.

Thereafter they will hold the pencil between the tips of the thumb, index finger and middle finger. By the age of five they should have a dynamic three-pointed grip like an adult and use fine, isolated hand movements to move the pencil. It is always a good idea to provide your child with a wide variety of writing tools and utensils to determine which they are more comfortable with. Wider diameter pencils do not improve performance when drawing or writing, but triangular pencils may facilitate the tripod grasp.

Keep in mind that it is quite normal for your child to write with their left hand, but hold a pair of scissors with their right. However, left-handed scissors are available and would probably make it easier for your child to cut.

Whether left or right-handed, it is always beneficial to encourage your child to practise good posture when drawing, colouring in or writing. Your little one should be seated with their feet firmly on the floor, next to each other and facing forward. Ask them to sit up straight with their shoulders in a straight line and parallel to the table. Your child’s head can be held somewhat forward and their back a little curved, but never to the extent that their chest is pressing against the table. The table surface should ideally be about 5cm above elbow level when bent and the distance between their eyes and the paper or book should be about 20cm. Position the page in the middle of their body and parallel their dominant hand’s forearm when rested on the table. Right-handed children may slant the top of their page approximately 25 degrees to the left, with the paper just right of the body’s midline (the imaginary line dividing the body in two halves). Left-handed children may slant the top of the paper approximately 35 degrees to the right with the paper placement to the left of the midline.

Remember that is always a good idea to encourage your child to lie on their tummy or stand while writing or drawing at any age!

Why is my child so angry?

By Hanna Kok

There are a number of children who are really angry. They easily get upset with peers, teachers and/or parents.

Why? When I work with a child with anger issues, I look at their history and guaranteed there is unresolved trauma. The trauma was often already experienced while in utero. Much trauma is registered in the subconscious of the child as rejection and/or abandonment.

Trauma in Utero • One of the parents didn’t want a child and was not excited when they found out they were pregnant.

Even if this feeling was there for a short time, it is still registered in the child’s subconscious as rejection and/or abandonment.

• The mother is afraid to bond with the child (during the first trimester) because she is afraid she might have a miscarriage (again) or they are waiting for test results to see if the baby is healthy • If the father leaves the mother during the pregnancy • If the mother is stressed or worried during the pregnancy.

• If the child is not the sex the parent(s) is/are hoping for.

Trauma during and shortly after the birth • If there was a planned Caesarean, the child was denied the opportunity to come in his or her own time.

• If the child was separated from the mother after birth, because it was put in an incubator or even in the baby ward.

• If the mother struggled with postnatal depression or has other health issues and couldn’t take care of the baby • Child is given up for adoption

Later trauma This trauma can be anything e.g.

• Death of a loved one • Being left behind somewhere (by accident) • Hospitalization • Divorce

Everything our children experience today, they subconsciously link back to their past. If they have experienced rejection and/or abandonment in their early life, they tend to be very sensitive to criticism, rejection, abandonment, not getting their way, or anything else that reminds them of that early childhood trauma. The stress the child carries has an effect on their brain.

Stress prepares the body for fight or flight and all nonessential brain functioning switches off. This makes it difficult for them to access higher brain functions like, problem solving, putting things into perspective, being compassionate, learning, concentration, etc.

We as their mothers and fathers have our own issues as well that we are carry from our past. We might be aware of the mistakes we have made and feel guilt.

The strong emotions of the child then often trigger our own insecurities.

You can use a wide range of modalities to address the issues. It is important that the subconscious memories and subsequent subconscious beliefs we formed after the trauma are changed, so that we can step into our bright future.

For more info and help to overcome any of these issues, please contact Hanna Kok on 082 856 66 55 hanna@makealife.co.za www.makealife.co.za

As parents and adults, we know the importance of monitoring our children’s “screen time”. This isn’t just about watching television or playing video games; it also includes the time our children spend on their personal devices. We need to be mindful of what our children are watching and what they are playing. As parents, educators, and adults, we must understand and respond to the need to strike a balance with our children’s “screen time” and their hands-on play. We must be connoisseurs of that same technology so that we can teach our children the skills necessary to be successful for their future.

However, a device, such as an iPad, is not the problem. The games, shows, and programs will always be out there on every electronic medium available. We need to understand that our children are going to be exposed to and see a variety of different media at every age, and we need to teach our children how to respond to it. I choose to give access and opportunity to my children and my students to teach them how to use these devices appropriately and to use them as a tool for learning, not just for gaming. The earlier this learning begins, the better.

What is amazing is that our kids have found many of these tools and apps without us. Our students are connecting, collaborating, and innovating outside our schools.

Some of their world is face-to-face and hands-on, and some of that world is on a device.

By Marnie

There is nothing more cringe worthy – okay, maybe fingers scratching across a chalkboard – than hearing a child whine. How can we get kids to stop whining? Is it possible?

Is it just me?

Whining is annoying, right? My husband thinks so. When I whine, he ignores me. Then I know and I stop whining. (that was a hint.)

Okay, good, we are on the same page.

Recently my family started working with Parent Child Interaction Therapy (or PCIT). This therapy is relatively new in terms of hitting “mainstream”. The behavioral ideas developed back in the 60s. Since that time evidence has shown that PCIT works to improve the parent/child relationship and interactions. This approach differs from other therapies in a few main ways.

One difference is that the work involves parents in the process. In essence, PCIT is parent coaching combined with play and behavioral therapy. Oh, and, your child will hopefully stop whining. Fingers crossed.

To give you a visual, you are in a room playing with your child and there is a therapist behind a one way window. She can see you but you can’t see her. In addition, she places a small ear piece in your ear to direct your interactions with your child. Yes, an expert is whispering in your ear, guiding you in those challenging moments. I will post more on this therapy over the next few months as we progress through the weeks in improving my relationship with my child (part of which is to help me figure out a way to get him to stop whining).

Our “homework” this week is to find at least five minutes a day to have “special play time” one on one with your child not as a reward or punishment but simply as part of your day. You are to follow a PRIDE approach with your interactions. You are to ask no questions, not even “What should we play next?” or “What are you building?” Avoid saying words like: “Don’t”, “No”, “Stop” and focus on “physical positives” such as eye contact, smiles, hugs, sitting closely, and so on.

P is for Praise. I don’t mean to say “great job!” but instead to comment on the child’s behavior. “I like how you put the blocks away so nicely,” or “Thank you for letting me build a tower with you,” for example.

R is for Reflect. When you’re child says “Look, I built a tower!” You say, “Yes, you built a tower,” or “It is fun to build a tower.”

I is for Imitate. If your child is building a hospital with Legos, you say, “I am going to build a hospital with Legos, too,” or if your child is drawing a ninja (as in my case 9 out of 10 times), you say, “I am going to draw a ninja, too.”

D is for Describe. “You built a tall tower.” “Your hospital is red.” “The ninja has a blue shirt.”

E is for Enjoyment. “Wow!” “How wonderful!”

The other piece of our homework is to practice “Selective Attention” or Active Ignore when a child exhibits minor irritating, annoying, or inappropriate behavior. The key to be successful with this approach is to let the child know ahead of time that you will ignore the child when this behavior occurs.

• • • • •

Walk away.

Be silent.

Turn your eyes away.

Blank facial expression.

Compliment another child “thank you for putting the toys away so nicely, Joe.” • Broadcast your behavior “I am putting the play dough away so it doesn’t dry out.”

• Play with another toy and have a lot of fun doing it!

This part is challenging for me. I often respond when my child whines with a “you really want another cookie.” I acknowledge and validate the emotion. I still do that but I wait for a calm moment – after my child stops whining – to not only compliment him on calming his body down or using a kind tone but also to address his need. All a work in progress but with time and practice I feel confident that this cringe worthy behavior will disappear

My own children have become connected at a very young age, learning how to play apps such as Minecraft without me. The most intriguing aspect in watching children play in their virtual world is that they are creating, connecting, and collaborating with each other. The screen becomes a lens to other worlds, other domains, and creative thinking. Students are creating content, not just consuming it.

Our students not only need access so they can create and collaborate, but they also need access so they can become good digital citizens, knowing how to navigate the plethora of information in a responsible, respectful, and safe way. Students need to learn how to effectively search for sources, assess the validity of those sources, and then cite them appropriately. Digital citizenship encompasses so many facets of ethical and fair practices, understanding how to treat other with respect, and being safe when connecting with others. All of this should be done at a young age.

Furthermore, computer science is not just for computer science college majors any more. All students should have the opportunity to learn how to code. Coding is a literacy that is not evident in many schools, but it is a necessary literacy to prepare our children for the future global economy. The Hour of Code was started with this in mind, giving students an opportunity to learn about coding and the role coding plays in our digital lives.

Removing technology from our children’s world will only deprive them of the skills they need to thrive in a global economy. We do need to be mindful of what we expose our children to, however, we also need to be mindful that removing all technology from them will in fact be a detriment to them in the end.

These skills necessary for success need to be taught at a young age. The most important aspect to remember is that it is not about a device. Devices change. Apps change. Tools change. It is the skills that have lasting effects. Our children are never too young to learn the interpersonal and digital skills they will need to be successful for THEIR future.

Amy Heavin is the principal at Ryan Park Elementary School, MSD of Steuben County in Angola, IN. She has been a school administrator since 2010, and taught middle school English for 8 years prior.

Passionate about curriculum and instruction, she pursues learning opportunities to blend 21st century essential skills instruction with best practices. As a moderator for the #INeLearn Twitter chat, a blogger, and presenter, she promotes integration of strong pedagogy with technology in the classroom. She is the mother of 3 boys and wife of Angola High School principal. http://www.fractuslearning.com/2015/12/02/how-young-is-too-young-ipad/

Every child develops differently and at different rates. However, there are some very important skills that need to be developed in order for the child to grow and thrive as he/she continues to develop. These foundational skills are crucial for speech and language development and if not observed by certain ages we see this as a red flag that may indicate your child should be evaluated by a speech-language pathologist or a related specialist (early interventionist, psychologist, etc.).

A note on the “wait and see” approach: It is a MYTH that you should just “wait and see” if your child is a “late talker.” The “wait and see” approach can be appropriate in some circumstances, which a speech-language pathologist may even recommend upon seeing your child, however I STRONGLY encourage you to have your child screened or assessed by a speech pathologist if you have ANY concerns with his/her development at ANY AGE. The SLP can determine if the wait and see approach is appropriate for your child or not. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL AGE THREE if you have concerns at TWO! If you have concerns at two, get your child in at two. The advice to “wait until three” is not appropriate for every child and can, for some children, actually be detrimental to their development.

A note on pediatricians: Pediatricians are wonderful medical doctors…however they have VERY LITTLE training in speech & language development. They are trained to diagnose and treat medical issues, not speech & language issues. If your gut tells you something is wrong with your child and your pediatrician says to wait, go with your gut. Get your child seen by a speech-language pathologist.

With that…here are some red flags that may indicate your child should be assessed by a speech-language pathologist or related professional.

Under 18 months •No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by 6 months •No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions by 9 months or thereafter •No babbling by 12 months •Does not respond to his/her name by 12 months •No sharing/reciprocal interactions like pointing, sharing, reaching or waving by 12 months •No pointing at objects of interest by 14 months (pointing at a car driving by) •Does not understand simple common words like mama or milk •Is not using any words by 16 months •Does not imitate gross motor movements like clapping or stomping feet

By 18 Months •Does not use at least 8-10 meaningful words •Does not follow simple commands like “come here” “stop” “don’t” “give me the __________” or “touch your nose” •Does not follow your pointing with his gaze •Is not playing “pretend” with items (talking on toy phone, feeding a doll) •Does not play in proximity to other children

By Age Two •No two-word meaningful phrases (without imitating or repeating) by 24 months •Does not follow simple two step commands such as “Get the ball and put it on the table” •Speech is not at least 50% understandable •Cannot point to pictures of items in books when asked

By Three Years •Is not using three and four word sentences •Speech is not at least 75% or more understandable •Child is leaving the beginnings or ends off of most words •Cannot accurately answer yes/no questions •Cannot answer simple “who” questions like “who is that” or “where is the truck” •Does not play with other children •Is experiencing stuttering behavior for more than 6 months

By Four to Five Years •Is not 90-100% understandable to strangers despite age appropriate articulation errors (may not be able to say /r, sh, ch, l, or th yet) •Is not consistently using 4+ word, complex sentences •Is not asking a variety of questions to gain information (who, what, where, why and when) •Is having difficulty with grammar or pronoun use •Cannot tell a simple story on topic •Cannot follow simple two step directions •Has difficulty answering simple who, what, where and why questions •Is not yet able to name a few letters, numbers, and rhyming words

Overall Warning Signs •ANY loss of speech or babbling or social skills at ANY age •Never gestures or imitates •Does not appear to understand speech, or appears to be unable to hear •Never develops words beyond repeating others over and over Hello! Welcome, I’m Katie. I’m a licensed and credentialed pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) and have been practicing for 8.5 years with over 15 years experience working with children of all abilities. Though I have experience working with children of all ages, I specialize in the little ones ages 2-6. After several years working in the school system, I’m currently spending most of my time at home with my children, and see clients in my private practice. http://www.playingwithwords365.com/

THEMBI-CHILD

Sponsor a furbaby and make a difference to LIFE!

Meet Thembi-Child, adopted from Umsizi Umkomaas Vervet Rescue Centre. She is a real drama-queen so we have put her in charge of Story Time

Ideas to Help Get Kids

by Kim Eierman

Do you worry that your kids spend too much time indoors, endlessly captivated by electronic devices? In these digital times, 2-year-olds are more comfortable playing with your cell phone than playing in a pile of leaves. How will they learn to care about the environment if they never go outdoors?

Start the process of getting your kids out of the electronic rut and into nature.

Convince Yourself First Not sure if there really is a problem about connecting children with nature? Read the seminal book by Richard Louv, Last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder. Louv, a noted child advocacy expert, explains how the naturedeficient disorder, so common in today’s children, is linked to the rise in childhood obesity, attention deficit disorder and depression. He offers 100 actions you can take to change this.

Give a Book to Inspire Surprise your kids or grandkids this holiday season with a retro gift – a book!

Connected With Nature Bring Nature into the Classroom Some environmental organizations offer nature training all year round. A nature preserve and education center can send educators into your children’s classroom for a very reasonable fee. They offer “Meet the Animals” designed for Pre-School children.

Take a Brisk Walk or Maybe a Hike Take a drive to your closest Botanical Gardens, take a picnic and go for a hike. Many Sundays’ you will find live music in some of the bigger parks. Pop the bicycles in the boot and do a trail-ride as a family. Some Game Parks offer guided educational walks in nature.

Homemade Wind Chimes Painted in Rainbow Colours Homemade wind chimes made with sticks painted in a rainbow of colours add a splash of colour to any backyard or patio!

A fun nature craft for kids to make for their own yard or to give as a gift to someone special!

Click logo for full details

Gifts, especially those created by kids, don’t have to cost a lot of money. In fact, the perfect materials for a thoughtful gift may be sitting in your recycling bin.

Giving old items new life is not only green, it’s a lot of fun. It is so cool to take something destined for the trash and turn it into something beautiful and useful.

And when we do a craft like this with our children, we are teaching them to see “garbage” in a new, creative light.

With little more than a handful of old keys, a piece of drift wood, string, and paint, my son and I created this DIY key wind chime. It would make a lovely gift for anyone who has a garden or balcony, a birthday present for grandma, or a house warming gift for a new neighbor.

Want to know how to make your own? It’s simple!

Click logo for full details

Help! I’m a Parent “The single most important predictor of how you will behave as a parent is how you were parented as a child.”

– Harville Hendrix and Helen La Kelly Hunt While we love our children, our children may not always experience us as loving. Even loving and well-meaning parents act, at times, in ways that children do not experience as loving such as when they are fighting, are stressed or going through a personal crisis to mention a few.

And as parents, we at times may experience our children in unloving ways too. Our children may seem distant, are being rebellious, in a mood or just plain uncommunicative.

But, our children are here to challenge us. They invite us to grow into parts of ourselves that were over- or under-developed in our childhood through our own experiences with our parents and generations before that. You see, we inherit a lot of our parenting skills from, yes you guessed it, our parents. Who in turn inherited their parenting skills from their parents who inherited their skills from their parents.

A quick way to test this is to ask yourself – has anyone ever told you that you sound or are behaving just like your mother/father? Or have you perhaps caught yourself in mid stride with the realization that you are doing the exact same thing your mother/father did to you when you were a child?

Family is a child’s training ground for Life. Our formative years (0-7yrs) are the most crucial as we are highly susceptible and vulnerable to the influence of those around us, our primary caregivers, which is most instances are our parents. We model ourselves on their behaviours and how they interact with others and with us as children.

This then forms the foundation of our character traits, values and belief systems and becomes ingrained in us.

As we grow and evolve and experience life, these experiences together with our life stage experiences, shape who we become and is reflected in our adult perceptions, feelings and behaviours.

We are attracted to people that are indicative of the way they were parented and how we conduct our relationships. So yes there is some truth in that age old cliché’ that we marry someone like our mother or our father.

What we experienced and observed as children guides the way we treat one another, ourselves, others and eventually our own children.

The kinds of things we learn from our parents whilst growing up are: • How to resolve conflict • How did your parents resolve their issues? In a constructive healthy manner or did it end up in a screaming match every time?

• How to express emotions • How did your parents express emotion to each other and to you as a child? Were they warm and affectionate, or cold and distant?

• How to demonstrate love • Both verbal and non verbally • How to talk to others (the language they used) • Was it positive and uplifting or negative and critical?

“You are the mirror within which your child sees his own worth.”

– Naomi Aldort (Raising Our Children, Raising Our Selves)

Parents provide the “wall” (i.e. boundaries) that children need to push against to grow and evolve as they discover their world and how to be in it through family norms such as bedtime, play, personal hygiene and social interactions.

Children feel safe when parents establish and maintain some predictable structure for family life and allow them to make choices between age-appropriate options. By giving children choices (e.g. would you like to watch TV for another 10 minutes and wake up 10mins earlier or go to bed now and sleep in an extra 10minutes tomorrow?), we allow them to weigh up options, the outcome attached to each option and enable their decision making skills.

In a Study done by the National Association of Adolescent Health they found that: “Feeling loved, understood, wanted, acknowledged” was the best protection against “emotional distress, suicidal thoughts, and risky behaviours, including smoking, drinking, and drug use.” (7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child, by Marguerite Lamb).

Parents fulfill their responsibility for guiding and socializing their children by attuning to their child’s: • age • stage of development • temperament • talents and abilities • referencing their social and cultural environment.

By developing conscious parenting skills, parents can understand that children need structure and that appropriate limits contribute to long-term happiness. If there is consistent, clear structure, this provides safety for growing children and that children who learn to cope with limits and setbacks become more resilient over time and can deal with life’s every day challenges.

Whereas parents who indulge children (e.g. material goods) to make up for their unavailability don’t benefit the child, instead it can actually harm them by enabling or substituting material rewards when what they really need and crave is emotional support and appropriate limits.

Paula Quinsee is a Life, Health and Relationship Coach and helps to empower individuals to live with passion and purpose. For more information go to http://www.ati2ud.com

Conflict is our Friend e-book:

SELF HELP

We are conditioned to think that conflict is a bad thing when in actual fact the uncomfortable feeling we are experiencing is telling us that there is something happening that is pushing us out of our comfort zone.

This is a good thing because it’s an opportunity to learn and grow, not only as a person but also for the benefit of those around us. Topics covered in this e-book are: •Relationships – every relationship has it’s challenges, learn how to manage them by identifying your fighting style.

•Life is about Choices – learn how to make better choices by identifying your motivation behind your options.

•Knowing what you Value – our thoughts, actions and behaviours are driven by our core values and belief systems, identify yours.

•Being in Control of your Life – learn how to get balance in your life by identifying where you are now

Click to buy online R79

•Courageous Conversations – learn 3 tools to help you when you need to have a difficult conversation

This e-book is filled with practical self help tools and exercises to help you develop better relationships, use effective communication skills, manage conflict, raise your emotional intelligence and help you navigate life.

•Evaluating your Relationships – determine the quality of the relationships in your life and whether it’s time to let go or change things

By Stratitude for Indwe Risk Services Have you ever been in a position where someone wants to borrow your car?

Perhaps it is a friend who needs it for a camping trip or someone who wants to borrow it to go to an urgent appointment. It can be difficult to refuse, but you should consider a few factors before saying yes.

“When you lend your car to someone else, you’re also lending them the insurance that goes with it.

That’s why it’s important to be aware of the implications” says Peter Olyott, CEO of Indwe Risk Services. “Many people give their cars to their teenage children as they learn to drive without understanding what the implications would be if they were involved in an accident.”

It is essential to ensure that the person driving your car is legally allowed to drive. “If they don’t have a valid driver’s license, the insurance policy attached to the vehicle won’t pay out a claim, and you will be liable for damages and injuries sustained in that accident,” says Olyott. “The risk is huge, not to mention that it will also effect your insurance premium.”

When lending your vehicle to others it’s important to do your due diligence and these important questions: • Who will be driving the vehicle?

• Do they have a have a valid driver’s license for the type of vehicle that is being used?

• What is the vehicle going to be used for?

• For how long will they need the vehicle?

• What if the driver does something that violates your insurance coverage?

• Your insurance could be voided in certain situations and then you may be personally responsible for damages – can you afford that?

If someone, like your teenage child, uses your car on a regular basis, you should inform your insurance company so that they can establish if you need to pay an additional premium. Olyott adds “This is known as disclosure, an important rule in the Insurance industry. If you withhold information like this, it could invalidate your coverage.”

When another driver is using your vehicle, you are putting your insurance and your good driving record at risk. You are taking responsibility for whatever happens. By asking questions, you can consider the consequences and make an informed decision.

“At Indwe Risk Services we believe in a personal touch. Speak open and honestly to our advisors. They can assist you in reviewing your specific insurance needs and provide recommendations to ensure you are not caught off guard when you can least afford it,” Olyott concludes.

Why Natural Dog Food is Better For Your Dog Than Pellets

By Paul Jacobson 1. LOGICALLY We all know that wholesome, real, fresh and natural food is better for you than processed preserved food. This is documented as true for humans and we all acknowledge that diet is the major contributor to well-being and longevity. The same applies for our companion animals.

2. NUTRITIONALLY The highest quality of nourishment comes from whole natural and enzyme-active foods that are not refined, processed, cooked or laden with preservatives, especially organic foods. When commercial food is processed there can be a loss of up to 50% in vitamin B, 70% in vitamin C, protein and enzymes become denatured and mineral absorption is disrupted.

3. HISTORICALLY For thousands of years, our companion animals have been fed nutritious left-overs from the table and our pets did extremely well on these diets and lived to a ripe old age, free of these many common ailments we find nowadays. Just ask granny or great granny how well our animals actually did.

In the last 50 years the whole nutritional base of our animals has shifted to a highly processed and chemically laden diet, an abrupt change from a natural diet that lasted thousands of years.

4. MEDICALLY Medically, it has been proven that a natural diet, free of preservatives maintains health and improves well being and longevity. This is also true for our animals. The current medical condition of our pets has never been poorer. Just ask around and you will note that almost every animal is suffering from some sort of skin condition. Others will testify to common aliments like obesity, renal failure and unary tract disease, arthritic and hip dysphasia problems, diabetes, epilepsy, digestive problems, etc

5. MORALLY Morally, it is unfair to do any experimentation or testing on animals to enhance brand competitiveness. ANIMAL RIGHTS AFRICA has clearly identified certain brands that “RUTHLESSLY CONDUCT EXPERIMENTS ON ANIMALS TO TRY TO GIVE THEIR PET FOOD A COMPETITIVE MARKETING EDGE�.

6. HONESTY Honesty and transparency has to be of top priority. The rule is very simple – if you do not understand the ingredient listed on the label, then do not feed it. The pet food industry has had much controversy and should be careful to trust flashy advertising or expensive packaging to help make a purchase decision. Do your own research and be convinced that the diet is honest and right.

7. SCIENTIFICALLY Scientifically, all registered pet food is balanced. So don’t be fooled into believing that one pet food is more scientific than another. The parameters of food science are set in advance by The Department of Agriculture in South Africa.

8. ECONOMICALLY Economically, you will note that it is cheaper to feed fresh natural food than most Veterinary brands, especially medium to small breeds. A small dog could cost you only R4.50 per day.

Compare that will your other brands and you will be shocked to see how competitive it actually is. Many expensive dog foods are priced the way they are to cover all the costs of importing ingredients from across the world. Buying food that is made of local ingredients is not only better for our own economy, but cheaper for us.

9. GASTRONOMICALLY Gastronomically, having variety is also an important part of the diet. Wholesome delicious food that offers variety – chicken, beef, mutton or ostrich is guaranteed to be tastier than dry pellets. Another noticeable benefit is that pets feel fuller on natural food, because it is bulky.

Dry foods and pellets expand in the stomach and cause our animals to bloat. One of the first benefits you will notice on natural foods is a healthy loss of that excess weight.

10. INTUITIVELY Dogs that are fed on a natural wholesome diet have a different attitude. We can feel it when we take our friends out for a play or a run. We all know what it means for us as people to eat well. It gives us the right kind of energy and mental clarity. Just imagine how you would feel after nothing but fast food burgers for a month.

Carl Safina: What are animals thinking and feeling?

Filmed October 2015 at Mission Blue II Source: TED/Facebook post – with gratitude

What's going on inside the brains of animals? Can we know what, or if, they're thinking and feeling? Carl Safina thinks we can. Using discoveries and anecdotes that span ecology, biology and behavioral science, he weaves together stories of whales, wolves, elephants and albatrosses to argue that just as we think, feel, use tools and express emotions, so too do the other creatures – and minds – that share the Earth with us.

Carl Safina Ecologist, writer Carl Safina's writing explores the scientific, moral and social dimensions of our relationship with nature. www.carlsafina.org

8 Healthy Foods That Are Toxic For Our Pets Our pets are more than just domesticated animals. They become a part of our family, our adopted children. As family members, we want to ensure that they get the proper nutrition they need.

Many of us feed our pets scraps from the table because we want to share our nutritious treats.

Although it seems harmless, we could unknowingly be killing our companions. Not all table scraps are bad for pets, but what is optimal for us might be toxic to them. Knowing the difference could save your pet’s life. Here are eight foods you should keep far away from your pets.

Tea Although tea is full of antioxidants and low amounts of caffeine, it can cause serious problems in pets. The quantity of caffeine found in caffeinated teas is just enough to cause heart palpitations, rapid breathing, restlessness, muscle tremors and even bleeding. So even if the source of your caffeine fix is healthy, don’t share it with your feline or canine companion.

Dairy products Dairy is renown for being high in calcium and protein. Some dairy products such as kefir and yogurt can even improve digestion and balance good gut bacteria. Some pet owners stuff their dog’s medications in cheese to make it more appetizing or feed them an ice-cream cone on a hot summer’s day. However, milk and milk-based products can cause digestive problems and trigger food allergies in dogs. Dairy products can cause dogs to have an upset stomach or diarrhea — or end up with itchy skin. Either way, it’s not worth the risk.

Although cats are known to love milk, they do not possess adequate amounts of lactase to break down excess lactose. It may surprise you to know that most cats are actually lactoseintolerant. As a result, dairy can cause digestive upset and diarrhea in cats as well.

Grapes and raisins Grapes and raisins (dried grapes) are wonderful for improving digestion in humans, as well as eliminating waste. However, these healthy treats can cause serious problems in pets. Both dogs and cats can experience toxicosis, with symptoms like vomiting, diarrhea and lethargy within half a day of ingestion. The continuing, progressive symptoms of toxicosis include dehydration and lethargy, refusing to eat, increased urination followed by cessation of urination.

If left untreated, this could result in death. Bring your pet to a doctor immediately upon noticing these symptoms, and before they develop problems with urination, which can indicate the development of kidney failure. Kidney failure can occur in as few as three to four days. In those pets that survive, it can lead to long-term kidney disease. If your dog experiences any symptoms mentioned above, bring him or her to a vet immediately to maintain good urine flow.

Avocados Avocados are packed with healthy fats and nutrients that are revered by the health community.

They are high in dietary fiber, vitamins B6, C, E and K, as well as copper, foliate and potassium.

Avocados contain persin, which in large quantities can cause an allergic reaction and can be toxic to dogs and cats. Persin is found in the fruit, leaves, seed and bark of the avocado plant.

So if you grow avocados, keep your dog away. The flesh or peel of an avocado can trigger stomach upset in dogs and cats. If the pit is consumed as well, the GI tract may become obstructed.

Onions and garlic All members of the onion family, including onions, shallots, scallions, garlic, etc., can be fatal to your dog. However, ounce-for-ounce garlic is more toxic than onions. These foods can damage your pet’s red blood cells if eaten in moderate to high amounts. Even trace amounts of onion or garlic in sauces or seasonings can put your dog at risk of toxicosis. If your furry companion has red blood cell damage, it will become apparent in three to five days.

Symptoms can include a reluctance to move, weakness, becoming unusually tired after mild exercise, and a change in urine color to dark red or orange. If your cat or dog experiences these symptoms, seek veterinary help immediately. In the most severe cases, a blood transfusion may be required.

Macadamia nuts Macadamia nuts are rich sources of iron, protein, thiamin, niacin, riboflavin, antioxidants, Vitamin A and foliates. They also contain moderate amounts of copper, calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium and zinc. Unfortunately, dogs and cats cannot benefit from the nutrients in macadamia nuts. That’s because macadamia nuts can trigger weakness and pain in your pet’s rear legs. Your pet can experience a low fever or tremors that will likely gradually subside over 48 hours. If symptoms progress, see a vet, who can administer IV fluid and safe pain medication.

Raw eggs Raw eggs provide high amounts of protein, vitamins and minerals. Although dogs and cats have a high-protein requirement, this particular source of protein is problematic for pets for two reasons: Mammals are susceptible to food poisoning from bacteria such as Salmonella or E. coli. Also, raw egg enzymes can interfere with their absorption of B vitamins. This can lead to skin problems, and problems with your pet’s coat.

Raw fish Raw fish is a delicacy often enjoyed in Asian cuisine. Although raw fish is full of healthy, lean protein and omega-3 fatty acids, it can also cause problems in animals. As with raw eggs, consuming any raw meat can put your pet at risk of bacterial poisoning from Salmonella or E. coli. Unlike raw eggs, raw fish can contain a parasite that causes what is known as “salmon poisoning disease” or “fish disease.”

Despite its name, trout, shad or sturgeon are other types of fish that contain this deadly parasite. If not treated, the disease could become fatal in just two weeks. Signs of fish disease include vomiting, fever and enlarged lymph nodes. Cooking your fish thoroughly will kill the parasite and eliminate any risk of disease.

Other toxic ingredients to avoid feeding your pets Other foods that are unhealthy for our pets include sugary foods, salty foods, bread dough (containing raw, active yeast), chocolate, coffee (anything containing caffeine), alcohol, hops, cooked or uncooked fat trimmings, raw beef, bones from scraps, moldy food, and fruit pits and seeds.

Also, you should never give your pet human medicine. According to WebMD, reactions to human medicine is the most common cause of poisoning in dogs. The only exception is overthe-counter medicine under the instruction of a veterinarian. Be aware that ibuprofen and acetaminophen, which are often found in cold and pain medicines, can be deadly to cats and dogs.

Your pets are your family. As much as you want to share the foods you love with them, sometimes it’s best to love them with affection instead. What foods have your pets had problems with and how did you remedy the problem? What foods do your animals love most, and how often do they have them? Leave us a comment below to share your pet stories.

—The Alternative Daily http://www.bodymindsoulspirit.com/8-healthy-foods-that-are-toxic-for-our-pets/

The story of the Ketogenic Diet is far older than one might think… in fact it started centuries ago. The concept of dietary alterations in the management of epilepsy and fasting as a possible cure for the condition was described in the Hippocratic collections in the fifth century BC. There is also reference to fasting as a treatment for epilepsy during biblical times.

In the early twentieth century, there was almost contemporaneous further exploration of fasting as a treatment option for epilepsy. In France in 1911, the first study utilizing modern scientific means was conducted on fasting as a treatment for epilepsy. In the United States, Bernarr Macfadden, a fitness cultist and proponent of fasting as a method of health restoration, opened the Bernarr Macfadden Sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan in 1907. Hugh Conklin, an osteopathic physician and follower of Macfadden’s, employed at the Sanitarium, began recommending fasting as treatment for his epilepsy patients. This approach was adopted by many of Dr Conklin’s contemporaries.

One of these contemporaries was H. Rawle Geyelin, an endocrinologist at the New York Presbyterian Hospital. Having observed the efficacy of the treatment in some of Dr Conklin’s patients, he wished to confirm these results. Dr Geyelin first reported his observations at the American Medical Association convention in 1921. He presented his preliminary report on the efficacy of fasting in thirty-six patients, and subsequently continued and expanded his research on this form of treatment.

Research on fasting as an option for the treatment of epilepsy was conducted by several other prominent physicians such as J Howland, S Cobb and WG Lennox. Inasmuch as the treatment was shown to be effective, it was not sustainable as a long-term option.

Dr Wilder at Mayo clinic first proposed the ketogenic diet (KD) for the long-term management of epilepsy in 1921. In terms of this proposal it was stated that the benefits of fasting could be recreated through the implementation of the proposed diet. In addition, the KD could be sustained for a much longer period as it compensates for the clear disadvantages of a prolonged period of fasting. This compensation was achieved though the provision of adequate quantities of energy and protein for growth. This proposal can be seen as the birth of the KD as we know it today.

The proposal of the KD was accepted and taken further by several other physicians. It was noted that the diet had numerous positive effects aside from the alleviation of seizure activity.

These included improvements in cognition and behaviour.

During the 1920s and 1930s the KD became quite common as a treatment method for epileptic patients as there were very few anticonvulsant medications available at the time. As the number of medications available increased the prevalence of the KD decreased. However, the KD was still utilized as an alternative therapy in patients suffering from refractory or drugresistant epilepsy.

There were further studies conducted over the years despite the decrease in the use of the KD. In the 1970s for example Huttenlocher et al. introduced a medium-chain triglyceride (MCT) oil diet that was more ketogenic per calorie, allowing less restriction of other foods. The motivation behind this was an attempt to make the classic KD more palatable (Neurology 1971;21:1097–1103) The KD experienced a resurgence of interest during the 1990s as a result of media attention owing to the Abrahams family. The story of Charlie Abrahams, a two-year-old boy suffering from intractable myoclonic, generalized tonic, and tonic–clonic seizures. Charlie had failed to respond to all treatments including medications, homeopathic treatments, surgery and even faith healing.

Charlie’s father, Jim Abrahams, researched treatments for his son and happened upon a reference to the KD and Johns Hopkins (Freeman et al. Seizures and Epilepsy in Childhood: A Guide for Parents. Johns Hopkins University Press, Baltimore, 1990, pp. 151–155). Charlie was taken to Johns Hopkins and placed on the KD, he became seizure-free and started showing developmental progress.

In an effort to ensure that information on the KD was made available to the public, Jim Abrahams started the Charlie Foundation. The Foundation funded publications, underwrote conferences and further acted to promote the KD. Interest in the KD having been rekindled led to the expansion of scientific study, an increase in the number of papers published on the treatment and the utilization of the treatment itself, particularly in patients suffering from refractory epilepsy.

Most individuals who develop epilepsy will respond to anti-epileptic medications, however 2030% will be resistant to the medication [Dhamija et al. 2013]. In this population group, whether child or adult, the KD can be highly efficacious and should be considered early, as further anti-epileptic medication trials have shown low success rates [Dhamija et al. 2013].

It is clear that the KD has a rich history spanning many years, and our understanding of the underlying science has evolved and expanded in leaps and bounds. It must be noted that this understanding can only grow with new discoveries being made, whether in relation to existing applications or the KD being utilitised in the treatment of other diseases and disorders.

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