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LOVE IS GOOD PARENTING
FREE DIGITAL MAG *OCT/NOV EDITION 2019
SETTING FIRM & KIND LIMITS
Teen Suicide
PLAY TIME OPTIONS & EDUCATION CHOICES
Children Learn What They Live
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Much Love
Linda
contents LITTLE WELLNESS WARRIORS Yoga “Indoor Movement” Training with Baby by Lisa Raleigh PEACEFUL PARENTING Love = Good Parenting Setting Firm & Kind Limits 10 Ways to Bond with Your Son YOUTH OF THE NATION Raising Girls Teen Suicide How Hugs Heal SCHOOL LIFE Making Sense of Dyslexia Children Learn what they Love PLAY TIME Many Play Time Ideas Reading Choices YUMMY TUMMY Good Nutrition for Best Brains Cooking with Kids Green Mondays OUT & ABOUT Getting Out There REACH OUT Giving a helping hand
Conscious Life Magazine
"Indoor Movement" Yoga
Every month, Primary Plus subscribers enjoy a new Activity Series which features 7days of themed activities to do at home. They are timely, educational, and fun! Here’s an activity from the newest series called “Indoor Movement.” We hope you consider joining us as a Plus Subscriber, just head to your Profile Settings to upgrade! Click on the logo above to Subscribe. To do: Pick a few beginner poses and stretch as a family. Time: 15 minutes Materials: Yoga mat or carpet Whether as a wake-up exercise or at the end of a long day, try a few yoga stretches to get the family moving indoors. Stretching and breathing exercises are easy to implement and a great relaxing activity to do as a family! Try these: Downward Facing Dog Start on your hands and knees, with hands under your shoulders and knees under your hips. Tuck your toes and lift your knees off the floor, drawing your sit bones up and back, bringing you body into the shape of an A or tent. Keep your knees soft! Child’s Pose There a few ways to do this, but try starting on your hands and knees. Drop your sit bones back, widening your knees but keeping your big toes touching, and relax back onto your heels. Stretch your arms out in front of you or at your sides with your head on the mat. Tree Pose A fun balancing pose! Start with feet a shoulder’s width apart and your hands together near your sternum. As you can, bring one foot to rest on your inner calf, or up above your knee and balance on the other foot. If necessary, use a ‘kickstand’ by keeping your toe on the ground, but mainly balancing on one foot. Spread your arms (branches!) wide to the sky! Cat/Cow Pose A dual purpose pose, start on your hands and knees. Drop your belly and lower back and look up for Cow’s Pose. Hold for a few seconds, then arch your spine and look towards the floor for Cat’s Pose. Hold, then switch back to Cow. Keep going as long as you’d like, remember to breathe in and out!
By Dr Shefali
Love = Good Parenting? It’s Time to Rethink the Equation I can still hear my grandmother’s voice in my ear, gentle and assuring, “You are so sweet and loving, you are going to make the best parent in the world.” My chest swelled with pride, as I gullibly believed her promise. I am loving, I will make the best parent. Love = good parenting. And then I became a parent. And there – in those early years – exhausted beyond belief from lack of sleep and self-care – that all those loving feelings that I thought I had ample of, flew out the window.
Left behind, was the most un-motherly mother possible! I was angry, irritable and dare I say, resentful of the fact that I had to take care of a being that – on most days – I had no idea how to and no one was going to a) rescue me….ever b) there was no huge bonus salary at the end of the year and c) I wasn’t going to be awarded by her or my spouse that Parent of the Year award, because it seemed as if these endless hours of giving and more giving…was just something I was “supposed” to do.
It then dawned on me, “This love thing doesn’t last in times of exhaustion or cluelessness! I can have all the love in the world for my child, but it doesn’t keep me calm, loving or present. In fact, the more I believe I love my child, the more I want to scream at it when it doesn’t abide by my wishes.” And then the sober truth surfaced: All this love for my child, my spouse, everyone really, was all about me. ME, ME, ME. How they made ME feel. If they made ME feel good, competent and worthy, then I was fully in love. The moment they did not follow my commands and fill my needs I was resentful, childish, needy and of course, judgmental and controlling. So then what was the missing ingredient? I wondered. I thought love was the be-all and end-all.
Consciousness! That’s what it was. What does this mean exactly? •
The ability to be conscious of how my love was conditional – ouch, this awareness really hurts! After all, who wants to admit that they love someone because of how the other person makes them feel and has little do with how they feel about the other? We see this with our spouses and our children especially. On the days that they listen and follow our fantasy of them, we are our most gentle and patient. The moment they stray from our expectations and fantasies of them, everything comes crashing down. We manipulate, threaten and control — especially our children, who society says we have every right to. This is where our love becomes toxic.
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The ability to be conscious of how – when threatened – other feelings rival that of love, and in many cases, devour love completely – most significantly, the rival emotion of fear. When we feel like our “love” is going unappreciated, or is not making the difference we thought it would make in the other person’s life, then we enter a state of helplessness and loss of control. This triggers a primal state of fear within us – a fear of our inadequacy and lack of agency. Once this fear is triggered, we can do only one of two things: avoid it by seeking refuge in unhealthy objects (booze, food, gossip, negative relationships) or control it through a raging temper tantrum. In these moments we realize that our love is threadbare and can be easily overtaken by other feelings triggered by fear.
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The ability to be conscious that we need to develop an awareness that transcends emotions – this is a tricky one isn’t it? We have been told that our emotions lead us to our truth. I don’t believe this. I believe that our emotions lead us to blindly react to events and situations, which then take us further and further away from our truth. Instead, our feelings, and the pure and simple feeling of our feelings – something very few of us can really do – take us to our truth. Feeling our feelings does not mean complaining about them, venting them to others or wallowing in them. It means being aware that they emerge from a false self and are not our true self. Our true self is pure awareness. This realization leads us to develop a transcendent awareness that is higher and greater than our feelings – it is a state of presence that is able to stay constant no matter what we are feeling. It is a witnessing state of observance that allows the feelings to be felt in their pure form without the need to project or control these feelings in some way. This requires discipline and practice. This is what it means to be conscious — and when we are conscious, we are automatically loving, in fact, the most loving we can be, because we own our feelings and take care of themselves by ourselves, without needing the other to soothe them for us.
It is only when we are able to understand that love without consciousness is just another emotion, that we will desire to grow into a higher awareness. If we simply cling to the emotion of love for the sake of its name and idea, we will be lost in its capriciousness and prey to its conditions. When we rise to a state of awareness of our love – just as we do of our other emotions – then we are able to love ourselves and the other as they are – without expecting them to change or love us back in exactly the way we need them to. Our love for them no longer becomes about us. We are out of the equation. Now, we either choose to love the other person for who it is they are, or we don’t.
Now, love is about them – as they are …but of course, it is so about our ability to choose consciously.
So ultimately, our ability to love another, comes from our ability to be conscious of how we need to unconditionally love ourselves first. When we are able to meet our own needs, we are then able to love another fully and wholly.
When we love from a place of need, the love for the other is really about need, dependency and control. Examine your love for others from this lens. You may be surprised about its shallowness and conditionality. Don’t be disheartened. This is perhaps the path to a greater love: one that is tempered with consciousness.
Love with consciousness? Ah, now we are talking about true love. Dr Shefali can be contacted for Skype and phone sessions.
Positive Discipline
Setting Firm And Kind Limits To complement the Montessori method of self-discipline, Voila Montessori also uses the Positive Discipline method to encourage parents and caregivers to use a firm and kind approach, with the understanding that children need to be connected to be successful in learning social skills. The Positive Discipline Parenting and Classroom Management models are aimed at developing mutually respectful relationships. Positive Discipline teaches adults to employ kindness and firmness at the same time and is neither punitive nor permissive. The tools and concepts of Positive Discipline include: • • • • • •
Mutual respect: Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs of the child. Identifying the belief behind the behavior: Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs, rather than merely attempting to change behavior. Effective communication and problem-solving skills Discipline that teaches which is neither permissive nor punitive Focusing on solutions instead of punishment Encouragement, instead of praise: Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment. by Jeanne Marie Paynel: Voila Montessori
10 Ways to Bond With Your Son By Kara: The Joys of Boys It has been over 14 years since I became a mom of boys. When I only had one or maybe two boys, spending time bonding with them individually wasn’t that difficult. But now that we have added two more to the family, I really have to make a conscious effort to nurture my relationship with each of my boys in a way that is individualized to them because they are each so different. Here are 10 ways to bond with your son as well as ways that moms in my Moms of Boys community are finding to bond with their sons. 1. Be in the Moment Thanks to modern technology, the world is literally at our fingertips. Computers and other electronics have become such a large part of our lives and the lives of our kids, that we can’t imagine getting by without them. But, the constant stream of information into our minds often leaves us in a state of perpetual distraction. Make a plan as a family to unplug at a certain time each night. Spend that time discussing the day, playing games, going outside, etc. Live in the moment, without the commotion of the online world.
2. Get Lost in a Book Together Books take you on adventures to far-off places. Why not experience those adventures with your son. Find an exciting book that he enjoys and read it together out loud. Take the time to stop and ask questions as you read. You might be surprised to hear your sons’ interpretation of the story.
3. Go Fishing Spend time at the lake in nature fishing. It’s amazing what your children will tell you and it is a great time to get to know them on a deeper level. Plus, it is cheap entertainment.
4. Cook Up Some Fun in the Kitchen From the time my boys could stand up on a stool, they have been helping me in the kitchen. Some of my favorite bonding moments have happened over pancake flipping and cookie decorating. I learned a long time ago that the memories are well worth the mess and my boys are learning life-skills that they will need when they leave the house and are on their own.
5. Let Him Talk/Give Him the Chance to Open Up to You Boys are often introverted creatures when it comes to sharing the details of their day. I try to provide alone time with each of my boys where they can talk and I can genuinely listen without distraction. This might be before bed as we say goodnight, on a walk around the block or just driving to and from school, sports or music lessons. To really bond with your son, turn off the radio, shut down the 1,000 to-dos running through your head, and just listen to what he has to say. If your son isn’t big on conversation, a Mother and Son journal just might be the perfect thing for him. I love that this journal encourages boys to open up and creates a fun keepsake that you will love looking back on years down the road.
6. Share Positive Words of Affirmation The words we say to our sons really do stick and sometimes we forget that our son’s self-esteem might be fragile. We expect them to be tough, which often causes them to hold back their emotions. Build your relationship with your son by telling him positive things about himself on a daily basis. Make a big deal out of his accomplishments and let him know how proud you are of him. A favorite quote of mine says:
“Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.” – Alvin Price
7. Become the Student Instead of the Teacher From the moment our children are born, we begin to teach them new things. Flip-flop roles for a bit and let your son teach you about his interests. Does your son love sports but you don’t have an athletic bone in your body? Have him teach you the basics of his favorite sport. Is the language of Minecraft completely foreign to you? Spend some time building an online amusement park and learning all about Creepers and Enderman. Your son will love that you took the time to learn about his interests and it let him know that if something is important to him, it is important to you.
8. PLAY! Our children first learn about the world through play. Just because you are an adult does not mean that you can’t be silly, get messy and a little bit crazy. If you are a parent to boys then you know that they love to be loud and a bit rambunctious. They would be thrilled if you join in the fun with them. Get out the LEGO pieces, build a blanket fort, have a dance party in the kitchen, or finger-paint a masterpiece. These are the moments your kids will remember and cherish the most.
9. Pass Notes Start a fun tradition of leaving little notes on your son’s pillow or in his lunch box. You might even want to have a journal that you share and write little notes back and forth to each other. Your children might not tell you everything that is on their mind, but you will be surprised at how much they will write down. Plus, not all boys enjoy writing. This gives them a reason to write and express themselves.
10. One-On-One Time with Mom and Dad If you have more than one child, chances are it is hard to spend quality time with each child alone. Set aside some time each week to spend with your children individually. Take them out on a Mother and Son date night. See what interests them and go out and do it together. I am always amazed at the things my boys tell me when they are alone without their other brothers.
By Katie Hurley Guest writer for Positive Parenting Solutions A thirteen-year-old girl comes to me week after week with a litany of complaints about social media. She doesn’t like the way her friends act on Instagram. She doesn’t like it when people unfollow her because they’re mad about something, only to follow her again a few hours later. She’s hurt when she isn’t called out as part of the group, and she hates it when she sees the group photos from weekend plans she wasn’t invited to. Mean comments maker her uncomfortable. The truth is, she doesn’t like who she is or how she acts on social media. She wishes it didn’t exist.
“How can you be a change maker?” It’s a simple question, and yet she’s silent. She hasn’t thought about possible solutions to the problem because the problem is so overwhelming. “You have two choices: You can be a quiet observer or you can be a change agent. Make your choice.” What follows is a lengthy discussion on what she can do to improve the way she, and perhaps some of her friends, use and interact with one another on social media. She starts a “sprinkle kindness” campaign with a few close friends. They agree to leave at least five comments per day, especially on posts where they see unkind comments. .
Kids are often conditioned to believe that they need adult help with complicated social issues, but it’s essential to empower our girls to act as change agents. Does sprinkling kindness in one small school community solve the larger issues of cyberbullying and relational aggression? No. But it’s a start. And kindness has a way of spreading. It’s up to us to empower our girls to act as change makers. When we ask them how to solve a problem instead of telling them what to do, they internalize the message that they have the power to make positive changes
Create a social media checklist. Even if your daughter doesn’t use social media yet, it’s a good idea to talk about it. The fact is that many young girls are faced with all kinds of social dilemmas through social media, and it’s difficult to know what to do. We don’t have to fear social media use among girls. If we talk to them about responsible social media use, they learn to use social media for good. •
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Ask before you post. It’s always a good idea to check with your friend before you post a picture.
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Let them choose projects.
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Never use photos, captions, or comments to embarrass or hurt others. If you notice other girls doing this, speak up, ask for help, and leave kind comments for girls who might be hurting. Think about how others might feel or react before you post (I teach girls to use the 3-minute rule: Craft the post, wait three minutes, then do a gut check before hitting post.) Use social media to promote positivity and kindness.
Girls often tell me that when they do volunteer for something, it’s planned by their parents. When I asked one group of girls where they would donate the money from a lemonade stand, twenty girls gave me twenty different answers. To raise socially conscious girls who not only think about others but who also answer the call to help others, it’s important to ask them about the causes they want to support. When we listen more than we talk, we inspire our girls to take the lead.
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Many girls struggle to talk about complicated topics, like social media negativity, with their parents. Make sure to factor in plenty of 1:1 time when you and your daughter have uninterrupted time to connect.
Empower socially responsible thinking. Girls encounter any number of moral dilemmas and complicated issues at school, in the community, and online. While encouraging community service helps broaden their worldview and increases empathy and compassion, it’s also important to talk to girls about socially responsible thinking on a micro level. Use role plays at home to practice standing up to relational aggression, asking for help when something is too overwhelming, figuring out what to do when other kids make unethical decisions, and assertiveness skills. As a parent of a young girl, I know the pull to want to protect her from the hard stuff, but I also know that when I empower her and guide her to work through these difficult situations, she gains confidence and learns that she can make a difference.
Good Parent Sportsmanship The line between being a supportive, engaged, sports-loving parent and applying too much pressure on kids is easily crossed. To avoid embarrassing your child and making him/her feel more pressure than he/she already feels about playing the game – we recommend these strategies:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Katie Hurley, LCSW is the author of The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World (Tarcher/Penguin) and the highly anticipated No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls (Penguin Random House, January 2018). Hurley is a child and adolescent psychotherapist, writer and speaker in Los Angeles, CA. Katie earned her BA in psychology and women’s studies from Boston College and her MSW from the University of Pennsylvania. She has extensive experience treating children and adolescents with learning differences, anxiety and low self-esteem. She is also trained in Play Therapy. Katie’s work can be found in several online publications, including The Washington Post, PBS Parents, US News and World Report, and The Huffington Post. Katie is the author of “ The Happy Kid Handbook
Teen Suicide FACTS ABOUT TEENAGE SUICIDE According to WHO, a suicide occurs every 40 seconds and an attempt is made every 3 seconds In South African, hanging is the most frequently employed method of suicide, followed by shooting, gassing and burning Risk factors for suicide among the young include the presence of mental illness- especially depression , conduct disorder, alcohol and drug abuse; previous suicide attempts ; and the availability of firearms in the home. In South Africa 60% of people who commit suicide are depressed The suicide rate for children aged 10-14 years old has more than doubled over the last fifteen years In South Africa the average suicide is 17.2 per 100 000 (8% of all deaths). This relates only to deaths reported by academic hospitals. The real figure is higher “Suicide shouldn’t be a secret” “We cannot measure the value of life cut short by suicide. We cannot calculate the impact a person might have had on the world around them or on the people whose lives they may have touched. But through a partnership between survivors, business and community leaders, scientists and dedicated individuals we can vanish this needless tragedy”
How do you really feel? • • • • • • • • • • • • •
I feel guilty; I have no confidence ? I feel I am a failure or have let my family down ? I have lost interest in my hobbies. Most of the time I would rather be alone ? I often feel restless or tired ? I have trouble concentrating on things like homework or watching TV ? I have trouble sleeping or I sleep too much ? My appetite has increased or decreased ? I have unrealistic ideas about the great things that I am going to do ? My thoughts race. I can’t slow my mind down ? I often think about death. Thoughts about suicide pop into my mind ? I like very dangerous activities ? I use drugs and/or alcohol on a regular basis ?
If you have (or had) four or more of these feelings, and if they last longer than two weeks, you may have depression.
What to do if you suspect someone close to you may be contemplating suicide While some suicides may occur without any outward warning, most do not. The most effective way to prevent suicide is to learn to recognise the signs of someone at risk, take these signs seriously and know how to respond to them.
KNOW THE DANGER SIGNS Previous suicide attempts: Between 20 and 50 percent of people who kill themselves have previously attempted suicide. Those who make serious suicide attempts are at much greater risk of actually taking their lives. Talking about death or suicide: People who commit suicide often talk about it directly or indirectly. Be alert to such statements as, “My family would be better off without me”. Sometimes those contemplating suicide talk as if they are saying goodbye or going away. Depression: Although most depressed people are not suicidal, most suicidal people are depressed. Serious depression can be manifested in obvious sadness, but often it is expressed instead as a loss of pleasure or withdrawal from activities that had once been enjoyable.
Be concerned about depressed persons if at least five of the following symptoms have been present nearly every day for at least two weeks:
- depressed mood - change in sleeping patterns - change in appetite or weight - speaking or moving with unusual speed or slowness - fatigue or loss of energy - feelings of worthlessness , self-reproach or guilt - thoughts of death or suicide Additional factors that point to an increased risk for suicide in depressed individuals are: - Extreme anxiety, agitation or enraged behaviour - Excessive drug and / or alcohol use or abuse - History of physical or emotional illness - Feelings of hopelessness or desperation
TAKE THE SIGNS SERIOUSLY - 75% of all suicides give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member - All suicide threats and attempts should be taken seriously.
BE WILLING TO LISTEN - Take the initiative to ask what is troubling them - If your friend or relative is depressed DON’T be afraid to ask whether he/she is considering suicide - Do NOT attempt to argue anyone out of suicide, rather let the person know that you care and understand that they are not alone, that suicidal feelings are temporary, that depression can be treated and that problems can be solved. AVOID the temptation to say, “ You have so much to live for” or that “ suicide will hurt your family”.
IN A CRISIS - In an acute crisis , take the person to an emergency room or walk-in clinic – DO NOT leave the person alone until help is available - Remove drugs , razors, scissors or firearms that could be used in a suicide attempt away from the potentially suicidal person - If the above options are unavailable call your local emergency numbers.
FOLLOW- UP TREATMENT - Take an active role to ensure that the prescribed medication is taken and report any unexpected side effects to a doctor. - Continue to offer support after treatment has been initiated
SADAG Mental Health Line 011 234 4837 Akeso Psychiatric Response Unit 24 Hour 0861 435 787
How Hugs Heal Have You Had a Hug Today?
By Dr. Mercola
From the time you were born until the day you die, touch is an important part of your emotional and physical health. Infants deprived of touch grow up with developmental and cognitive delays, attachment disorders and higher risk of serious infections. On the other hand, premature infants who are held skin-to-skin exhibit better cognitive skills, are more resilient to stress and have more organized sleep patterns, even 10 years later. These early touch-based interventions demonstrate the need for touch in psychological regulation. The benefits of touch don’t diminish with age. The late Virginia Satir, psychotherapist and generally acknowledged as a pioneer in family therapy, spoke about the importance of touch and hugs as it relates to a person’s emotional health, saying:
“We need [four] hugs a day for survival. We need [eight] hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
How to make sense of dyslexia What is dyslexia? Dyslexia is a specific learning difficulty that primarily affects the ability to learn to read and spell. It often runs in families and stems from a difficulty in processing the sounds in words. A formal definition of dyslexia was recommended by Sir Jim Rose in an independent report: Identifying and Teaching Children and Young People with Dyslexia and Literacy Difficulties which was agreed by the Department for Education in 2009.
It found that dyslexia:
affects the ability to learn to read and spell involves difficulties in dealing with the sounds of words, which makes it especially hard to learn to use phonics to read words can affect short-term memory and speed of recalling names can sometimes co-occur with other kinds of difficulties, for example with maths or with coordination (but not always)
Does everyone experience dyslexia in the same way? Dyslexia is not the same for everyone. It can be mild or severe, can vary depending on other strengths, or difficulties, and on the kind of support and encouragement that is given at school, at home and at work. People with dyslexia often have strengths in reasoning, in visual and creative fields; dyslexia is not related to general intelligence; and is not the result of visual difficulties. Many people learn strategies to manage the effects of dyslexia, but it does not go away and its effects may be felt in new situations or in times of stress. People with dyslexia often, but do not always, show characteristics of other specific learning difficulties such as dyspraxia, attention deficit disorder or dyscalculia.
What causes dyslexia? There is strong evidence that dyslexia runs in families: if someone in a family is dyslexic, then it is very likely that other members of the family are dyslexic to some degree. However, genetics is only part of the story: many other factors make a difference to the overall picture. There are genes that will increase or decrease the risk for dyslexia, but that risk will be affected by many other things, including the effects of teaching and the effects of other genes.
What is the best approach to dyslexia? Understanding and access to the right sources of support are key for anyone who may have dyslexia. With the right support, strategies to overcome the difficulties associated with dyslexia can be learnt and dyslexia need not be a barrier to achievement.
Is dyslexia recognised by schools? We have come a long way since the days when people living with dyslexia were often wrongly labelled as ‘slow’, ‘thick’ or ‘lazy’, with school reports warning parents not to expect much from their child. Today, schools have a duty to provide SEN Support where a child or young person’s learning difficulty, including dyslexia, causes them to learn at a slower pace than their peers. Some 10% of the UK population are affected by dyslexia. But many people don’t actually understand what it is and how people can be affected by it. This week is Dyslexia Awareness Week in the UK and the theme is ‘Making Sense of Dyslexia’, so today we would like to help you to understand what dyslexia is.
What are the signs of dyslexia? Children can display signs of dyslexia from an early age - as young as 3 or 4 years old - but it is usually not formally identified until the age of 6 or 7. Here are some of the signs for different age groups:
Signs of dyslexia in children from 7-11
Seems bright in some ways but unexpectedly struggles in others Other members of the family have similar difficulties Has problems carrying out three instructions in sequence Struggles to learn sequences such as days of the week or the alphabet Is a slow reader or makes unexpected errors when reading aloud Often reads a word, then fails to recognise it further down the page Struggles to remember what has been read Puts letters and numbers the wrong way: for example, 15 for 51, b for d or “was” for “saw” Has poor handwriting and/or struggles to hold the pen/pencil correctly and/or learn cursive writing Spells a word several different ways Appears to have poor concentration Struggles with mental arithmetic or learning times tables Seems to struggle with maths and/or understanding the terminology in maths: for example, knowing when to add, subtract or multiply Has difficulties understanding time and tense Confuses left and right Can answer questions orally but has difficulties writing the answer down Has trouble learning nursery rhymes or songs Struggles with phonics and learning the letter-to-sound rules Seems to get frustrated or suffers unduly with stress and/or low self-esteem Struggles to copy information down when reading from the board Needs an unexpected amount of support with homework and struggles to get it done on time Is excessively tired after a day at school
Signs of dyslexia in ages 12 to adult
Difficulties taking notes, planning and writing essays, letters or reports Struggles with reading and understanding new terminology Quality of work is erratic Difficulties revising for examinations Struggles to communicate knowledge and understanding in exams Feels that the effort put in does not reflect performance or results Forgets names and factual information, even when familiar Struggles to remember things such as a personal PIN or telephone number Struggles to meet deadlines Struggles with personal organisation (finances/household, arrives at lessons with the wrong books, forgets appointments) Difficulties filling in forms or writing cheques Only reads when necessary and never for pleasure Develops work avoidance tactics to disguise difficulties and/or worries about being promoted/taking professional qualifications Difficulties become exacerbated when under pressure of time.
What next? Dyslexia is complex and affects people differently and in different ways but hopefully the above has given a brief insight into some of the ways that dyslexia can affect you. If you want to find out more about it or get involved then join our online community on Twitter, on Facebook or call your local Dyslexia Action Learning Centre.
In the prehistoric forest, Tyrannosaurus Rex is feared by all the other animals—except Edna, the very first chicken. Because despite her size, Edna knows she can take on the dinosaur. You see, no matter how ferocious he is, Edna has something Rex doesn’t have—ferocious bravery!
At Miss Hazeltine’s Home for Shy and Fearful Cats, timid cats learn to be brave. But for one scaredy-cat, classroom becomes real life when he is called upon to rescue the home’s missing mistress. If you have a shy and fearful child in your home, this adorable picture book is just what you need!
Have you ever felt a little bit different? Have you felt left out or not quite understood? What can you do when those feelings come? In this richly illustrated picture book, explore how to find a place for yourself in the world by sharing the things that make you unique!
With a poetic story and lush paintings, Elise Hurst conveys how a bit of bravery, empathy, and imagination can transform our lives. Adelaide lives in a city filled with people and wonders, but she is lonely. She is a watcher, and she sees others like her: the quiet ones, those who dance and dream alone. Working up the courage to take a big, important leap is hard, but Jabari is almost absolutely ready to make a giant splash. Jabari is definitely ready to jump off the diving board. He's finished his swimming lessons and passed his swimming test, and he's a great jumper, so he's not scared at all. "Looks easy," says Jabari, watching the other kids take their turns. But when his dad squeezes his hand, Jabari squeezes back. He needs to figure out what kind of special jump to do anyway, and he should probably do some stretches before climbing up onto the diving board...In a sweet tale of overcoming your fears, debut author-illustrator Gaia Cornwall captures a moment at the swimming pool between a patient and encouraging father and a determined little boy you can't help but root for.
An inspiring picture book affirmation about having courage even in difficult times, because some days, when everything around you seems scary, you have to be brave. Saying goodbye to neighbors. Worrying about new friends. Passing through a big city. Seeing a dark road ahead. In these moments, a young girl feels small and quiet and alone. But when she breathes deeply and looks inside herself, a hidden spark of courage appears, one she can nurture and grow until she glows inside and out.
An enormous black dog and a very tiny little girl star in this offbeat tale about confronting one’s fears. When a huge black dog appears outside the Hope family home, each member of the household sees it and hides. Only Small, the youngest Hope, has the courage to face the black dog, who might not be as frightening as everyone else thinks. In this picture book, Karen Kingsbury tells the story of a boy in competition with other young knights to become prince of all the land. In a series of contests and competitions, the king recognizes the brave young knight as the winner, not because he was the fastest or strongest, and not because he was smarter or more cunning than the other knights. Rather, the brave young knight is the winner because he doesn’t follow the crowd, instead making decisions based on what is right and true and in accordance with his faith. The moral of the story is that the bravest young boys are those who exhibit the strongest character.
Told in the vernacular of the 1890s California Gold Rush, The Legend of Freedom Hill is the heartwarming story of an unlikely friendship between the daughter of a runaway slave and a young Jewish girl. When a slave catcher begins to close in on Rosabel’s mother, the girls hatch a daring plan to buy Miz Violet’s freedom once and for all.
Lou and her friends are BRAVE adventurers. They run FASTER than airplanes. They build MIGHTY fortresses. They rescue WILD animals.? But one day, when they're looking for a ship to play pirates in, Lou's friend has an idea: ?Up there! The tree can be our ship!? ?Ummm ...? says Lou. This is something new. Lou has never climbed a tree before, and she's sure she can't do it. So she tries to convince her friends to play a not-up-a-tree game. When that doesn't work, she comes up with reasons for not joining them --her arm is sore, her cat needs a walk, you shouldn't climb so soon after eating. Finally, she tells herself she doesn't want to climb the tree. But is that true, or is this brave adventurer just too afraid to try?
Deep within the jungle, the villagers of Yao have never had a reason to fear the outside world. But when slave traders threaten their village, two quickthinking women and a brave girl devise a plan to fool the traders and lead the villagers to safety. Rich oil paintings and pencil drawings draw readers into this tale of courage and survival.
Ferdinand is a peaceful young bull. He doesn’t like to run and leap with the other young bulls, but instead prefers sitting quietly under the cork tree and smelling the flowers. But then a surprising turn of events finds Ferdinand in the bullring facing an angry matador. What do you think will happen next?
EST. 2005
CALL FOR SPECIALS
The Best Brains Require Good Nutrition by Maren Schmidt Are our children getting the right kinds of food for maximum brain development and health? Most parents believe their children are getting adequate nutrition, but data shows otherwise. Peeking into a few lunch boxes gives some indications and insights into the issue. Recent research is showing that a high level of highfructose sugar contributes to obesity and Type 2 diabetes in children. High blood sugar levels affect the function of the hippocampus, the part of the brain that helps organize memory. Children need a diet of complex carbohydrates versus a diet of sugar and foods that have a high glycemic index such as potatoes, white rice, white flour and white sugar. Data shows that 25 percent of children under the age of six eat French fried potatoes every day. One nutritionist recommends avoiding any food that’s white because those foods act like sugar to the brain. Current research is showing that certain diseases and conditions have their roots in poor childhood nutrition. For example, the low intake of calcium rich foods–milk, cheese, broccoli, spinach and other green leafy vegetables–during the first 18 years of life may predispose women to osteoporosis.
Fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains take longer to digest but offer important nutrition that may not be found in the empty calories from the refined carbohydrates in soda and processed foods. For the young child under age six, certain foods should be avoided, and perhaps we all should avoid them. Two big two no-no’s seem to be sodas and foods that list sugar in the first five ingredients. For sodas, their sugar content is too high, and the active ingredients in soda work against bone development. Soda drink consumption has risen to over 60 gallons per person annually in the United States. In a study of teenage boys, ages 13 to 18, about 60 percent reported drinking two sodas or more per day, with over 95 percent reporting that they drank soda regularly. In teenagers, over 25 percent of daily calories may be from sodas. The teenage habits begin before the age of six. Water is the best liquid for our children to drink as effective brain growth and functioning is dependent on the brain being well hydrated, since the brain is over 90 percent water.
The second no-no: foods that list sugar as one of the first five ingredients include breakfast cereals, breakfast toaster pastries and more. High sugar consumption is linked to tooth decay, obesity, diabetes, heart disease and other ailments. Serve fresh fruit and vegetables and whole grains to satisfy a sweet tooth. Make sure that a child’s diet provides adequate protein. Too much protein can be as bad as too little, but inadequate protein affects brain development and overall health. Children from one to three years need about 1,300 calories per day with 16 grams of protein. Four- to six-year-olds need about 1,800 calories per day with 24 grams of protein. Seven- to ten-year-olds require around 2,000 calories with 28 grams of protein. Common protein-rich foods include milk, soy milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, peanut butter, lean meats, fish, poultry, beans, tofu, lentils, grains, nuts and seeds. Another nutritionist recommends only shopping the perimeter of your grocery store, as all the nutritious and fresh food is there, and you won’t be tempted by all the fancy packaged processed food in the center aisles. As my Granddad used to say, pay the grocer or pay the doctor. Yes, I’d much rather spend my money on blueberries than meeting my medical insurance deductible. It tastes so much better, and my brain loves it.
Cuban Beans and Rice Cuban Beans and Rice Beans and rice can be a simple, satisfying meal for the entire family. In Cuba, beans are often cooked with a seasoning mixture called sofrito, made from garlic, onion, bell pepper, tomato, cumin, and oregano. Try combining this version of Cuban beans and rice with a crisp green salad of lettuce, cabbage, and tomatoes. Add a little sweetness with fresh pineapple and banana. Serves 4 - 6. Ingredients
Instructions
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Make the beans
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Cuban Beans 3tbsp vegetable oil ½ red onion cut into ¼-inch pieces 4 garlic cloves minced 1 green or red bell pepper cut into ¼inch pieces 2 tomatoes cut into ½-inch pieces ¾tsp ground cumin ¾tsp dried oregano ¾tsp salt ¼tsp black pepper 3cans (15 oz. ea.) black beans rinsed and drained 1can (15 oz.) red beans rinsed and drained 1cup water 1whole bay leaf ¼cup fresh cilantro leaves chopped lime wedges(optional) Yellow Rice 1tbsp vegetable or olive oil ½tsp turmeric 1½cups long grain white rice 3cups water ½tsp salt
Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the chopped onion and cook until softened, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic and bell pepper and continue to cook, stirring often, for several minutes more. Add the tomatoes and cook until softened. Stir in the cumin, oregano, salt, and pepper and cook for 1 to 2 minutes. Add the beans, water, and bay leaf, stirring to combine. Increase the heat to medium high and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes. Just before serving, stir in the cilantro.
Make the rice In a saucepan, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the turmeric and rice and cook for about 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add the water, increase heat to high and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook for about 20 minutes, until all of the liquid has been absorbed. Remove from heat. Do not stir the rice. Let the rice sit for at least 5 minutes before serving.
To serve Spoon the beans over the yellow rice and serve with a wedge of fresh lime. Serve pineapplebanana salad and green salad on the side.
Breadsticks Breadsticks It is believed that breadsticks were first made in medieval times. The Italian word for breadsticks is grissini. These crispy breadsticks are fun and easy to make. Makes 32 breadsticks. Course Side Dish
Ingredients
Instructions
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Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. In a bowl, combine the water and yeast. Let sit for 2 minutes, until the yeast is dissolved. Add the olive oil, honey, rosemary or peppercorns, salt, and whole wheat flour, stirring well. Add the white flour, 1 cup at a time, stirring until a stiff dough forms. On a clean, lightly floured work surface knead the dough for 3 to 5 minutes, until smooth.
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1¼cups warm water 2tsp baking yeast 2tbsp olive oil 1tbsp honey 1tsp dried rosemary or ½ tsp cracked black peppercorns 1cup whole wheat flour 2½ cups white flour Additional olive oil and kosher salt
Divide the dough into 8 equal pieces. Form each piece into a circle about 3 inches in diameter. Now divide each piece into 4 equal pieces. You will have 32 pieces in all. Roll each piece of dough into a cylinder about 8 inches long and place on baking sheet. Lightly brush the breadsticks with olive oil and sprinkle with salt as desired. Bake the breadsticks for about 15 to 18 minutes, turning once during the baking, until lightly browned and almost crisp. Let the breadsticks cool before serving.
Green Mondays: Suriyaki
Recipe Credit: Amy Hopkins Photo Credit: Micky Hoyle
Ingredients: • 1 cup mirin • 1 cup sake • 1/4 cup coconut sugar • 1 cup tamari or wheat-free soy sauce • 3 spring onions, sliced • 1 tbsp coconut oil • 2 handfuls shimeji mushrooms (not all separated) • 2 handfuls pak choi, rinsed • 2 handfuls sliced Napa or Chinese cabbage • 1/2 packet Vermicelli noodles • Fresh coriander • 1 lime
• Combine the mirin, sake, soy and sugar in a bowl and set aside. • Place spring onions and coconut oil in the pan. Sauté for a minute, then add one cup of the sake mixture. • Add the mushrooms, pak choi and cabbage to the pan. In the meantime, soak the vermicelli noodles in water for 5 minutes. Then add to the pan with the vegetables. • Add the rest of the sake mixture and cook for a further five minutes. • Serve noodle mix with fresh coriander and a squeeze of lime juice.
Directions: • Heat one large deep pan or wok over medium-high heat.
Conscious Life Magazine
Green Mondays: Carrot Cake Recipe credit: Laura, Beauty Without Cruelty Photo credit: My Darling Vegan
Ingredients: • 3 tsp Orgran No Egg mixed with 6 tbsp water until frothy • 3/4 cup oil • 3/4 cup soy milk • 1/2 cup xylitol • 2 cups flour • 2 tsp ground cinnamon • 2 tsp baking powder • 1/2 tsp salt • 1 can crushed pineapple in syrup, undrained • 2 cups grated carrot • 1 cup sultanas • 1 cup chopped pecan nuts
Directions:
• Combine flour, cinnamon, baking powder and salt. • Gradually beat dry ingredients into wet mixture. • Add pineapple, sultanas, nuts, and carrot and mix well. • Pour into a large greased baking tin. • Bake at 180 degrees in a preheated oven for 60 minutes. • Test with a toothpick in the center - if it doesn't come out clean, bake for a while longer (make sure you didn't just poke a sultana) • Optional: Ice with white icing sugar or coconut whipped cream once cool and top with extra chopped pecans.
• Beat no-egg, sugar, soya milk and oil together until well mixed.
Conscious Life Magazine
Child of the Universe Magazine
Child of the Universe Magazine
The Antbear Drakensberg Lodge is a thatched, whitewashed lodge built high on a natural platform overlooking the Bushman's River and Giants Castle. Antbear Drakensberg Lodge offers various Drakensberg accommodation options in en suite double rooms, luxury suites, family units and also boasts a luxury cave too. Antbear Drakensberg Lodge is one of those smaller intimate kind places which has been lovingly put together. The natural setting of the accommodation is stunning and we have managed to encase all this beauty with an atmosphere of comfort and ease. The cottages are smartly appointed and individually designed and the fact that we are a small place makes for an intimate and personal accommodation experience. Each of the accommodation units are different and are decorated with uniquely eccentric and artistic wooden furniture. It is a bit off the beaten track and is more of an insider tip than just another bed and breakfast. We cater for small intimate groups and never have more than 45 guests at a time. It's a laid back, lovingly cared for kind of place where you feel a sense of happiness and peace. Honeymoon stays turn into anniversary commemorations just as guests become friends. Even foreign tourists return for a second and third taste.
Attractions Drakensburg Hiking Trails Bushman Rock Art Giant’s Castle Kamberg Weenen Game Reserve Royal Natal National Park Drakensburg Boys Choir
Horse Trails Injasuti Nature Reserve Monks Cowl Natal Midlands Tugela Falls Sani Pass Fly Fishing
Retreats The Antbear Drakensberg Lodge is the ideal retreat venue where we can provide all the services and accommodation for your retreat. Situated 4 hours from Johannesburg and 2 hours from Durban with easy access from the N3 Antbear Lodge is easy to get to but has the feeling of being far from the madding crowd. This wonderful place for group retreats offers spectacular views, vast spaces, wild winds, rain, sunshine, clouds and rainbows and in all of this – silence and peace. Retreat groups can book the whole lodge for their exclusive use. The Lodge can accommodate 44 persons in 15 separate accommodation units Antbear Drakensberg Lodge has a spacious dining room with a wood-burning fireplace, a comfortable lounge with a fireplace and spectacular views, a breakaway meeting room, a large veranda and a large meeting room for retreat, team building or training activities. We provide excellent meals and will fit our menu to your expectations.
Conscious Life Magazine
Conscious Life Magazine
Because food is an important part of your stay Meals are part of the real surprises that the Antbear Lodge has to offer where home grown cooking is part of the deal. We like to use our own home grown organic vegetables and if we haven’t got, then we lean heavily on those local providers with similar attitudes to our own. Conny and Andrew both like cooking and are up to changing just about anything to suit tastes or philosophies. Our cooking experience is in part a journal, a record of events and memories expressed in recipes. In the course of our travels we have filed away many recipes and with them images of people and places and their lives. How food tastes has much to do with the associations we make and if you would like to hear the tales of our meals we would love to tell them.
Sustainable & responsible tourism is our social responsibility and what we do to give something back to our community and environment We believe in sustainable tourism and social responsibility. We live is a spectacularly beautiful place called the Drakensberg and our standard of living here is exceptional. But around us lie contrasts of poverty and lack of development. If we are to keep our way of life then it surely follows that we must do everything in our power to contribute to the upliftment and prosperity of this rural area. We believe that the future of South Africa is linked to the prosperity of the people, and that upliftment is linked to education. And as such we have chosen to support our local primary school called Vulakani Primary School.
Pet friendly accommodation Drakensberg One of the few pet-friendly places in the Drakensberg. Beautiful, vast views of the Drakensberg with plenty of ground for my dogs to roam. Walk for hours. Your dogs will be happy with lots of dams to swim in and horses to discover. One of the accommodation units at Antbear Lodge is fenced in so its really easy to leave your dog behind if you would like to explore some of the sights where pets are not that welcome. If country life is for you and you would love to take your pet with you then Antbear Lodge is a great accommodation choice. Your hosts will advise you on all the activities available. Antbear Lodge prides itself on being both family-friendly and petfriendly.
CONTACT Mobile 076 441 2362 Email: reservations@antbear.co.za Web: www.antbear.co.za
Conscious Life Magazine
EVERY HOME NEEDS A LOVING PET! THERE ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS WAITING TO BE ADOPTED – PLEASE REACH OUT! WE ALSO ENCOCURAGE YOU TO REACH INTO YOUR HEARTS FOR THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE AND REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.
Conscious Life Magazine
Who we are: The Monkey Helpline, started in 1995, is a volunteer group, based in Westville near Durban in KwaZulu-Natal, but operating throughout the province and also anywhere else in South Africa and abroad where our assistance and advice are requested. Our team of dedicated rescuers and rescue assistants, veterinarians, educators, monitors, fund-raisers, administrative assistants and supporters is what makes this project the success that it is today. Monkey Helpline is a registered NPO. 130-166 NPO What we do: As a team we devote our time to educating people about the reasons why the monkeys are here, why monkeys behave the way they do, the things people should do or not do when monkeys are around, and how to humanely keep monkeys away from those places where they are not welcome. Just knowing that monkeys will NOT attack and bite people, and that they DON’T carry rabies, is usually enough to change antagonism and fear into tolerance, and frequently into appreciation. We also run a rescue operation and a “high care” unit. We rescue an average of three monkeys every two days, and their injuries range from wounds sustained during fights with other monkeys, dog bites, being run over by motor vehicles, electrocuted, snared, trapped or poisoned, shot with airguns (pellet/BB guns), catapults, paintball guns and firearms, as well as being caught or injured on razor-wire. Many are babies who are orphaned or injured when mother monkeys are attacked by dogs or other monkeys, or are severely injured or killed in human-related incidents. Over eighty percent of the monkeys we rescue, irrespective of the reason why, have got air-gun pellets lodged in their bodies. Lead pellets cause terrible pain, suffering and a lingering death and no person, adult or child, should ever shoot monkeys, or any other animals, with an air-gun. As the only dedicated monkey rescue project in KwaZulu-Natal, the Monkey Helpline is available to do rescues 24 hours a day, every day! On any given day we are treating ten or more monkeys in our home-based high care unit – frequently in excess of twenty monkeys! Once they have recovered from their injuries these monkeys are released back into their home territory, transferred to a rehabilitation facility or placed in a sanctuary. Education is a vital tool in our hands and we distribute thousands of information leaflets, and visit many schools (at least two schools per week) to do educational talks about the monkeys. During 2009 we spoke to over 40 000 school learners and their teachers. We also do talks to many other interest groups such as police cadets, garden clubs, public service groups, conservation bodies, body corporates, etc. In addition, we advise farmers, businesses, hotels and casinos, housing and golfing estates, botanical gardens etc on the best ways to manage human/monkey “conflict”. Monkey Helpline networks with a number of other Vervet-related individuals, groups, and general primate- and animal-care NGO’s. NB. There is no charge for the services we offer, but donations towards the cost of running the project are welcome. Without your support we would not be able to change attitudes and legislation in favour of the monkeys nor would we be able to rescue the hundreds that we do every year and alleviate their suffering.
Conscious Life Magazine
with much appreciation to our advertisers, contributors, endorsers and our readers namaste
