WANDERING FOR
JUNE 2016 / ` 125
WELLNESS
WITH JIA SINGH
ADD ANOTHER
POETS OF
chapter in your
LOVE (MAKING)
RESURRECTION
BIBLE
artists of
TAXIDERMY FROM AROUND THE WORLD
06 BEARD
I made love on a spaceship at NASA
STYLES
PALLAVI SHARDA
FOR THE ALPHA MALE
i h C
a d g n a r t ngh
INDIA EDITION VOL 9 ISSUE 07
Si nything more!
n
a y a s e eed w
JUNE 2016
CONTENTS 12. PALLAVI SHARDA
22. KIM LEE
32. THE SPUNKY CITY KID: DATSUN REDI-GO
36. ROGER THAT IN SA
44. THE MAKER’S MUSE: CHITRANGDA 2
June 2016
34. RANT OF THE MONTH fhmindia • fhmindia
38. THE KILLER CUT fhmindia.com
JUNE 2016
CONTENTS 66. CAPTURED SCOT FREE: TYCHO
54. POETS OF RESURRECTION
80. OBJECT OF DESIRE: KIRAVAN
70. DJ ARRA PASCUAL 4
June 2016
84. WANDERING FOR WELLNESS fhmindia • fhmindia
88. MAKAELA SUSNOW fhmindia.com
IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY… Publisher & CEO Nitin Agarwal COO Alok Katiyar Editor Hari Govind Nair
FHM IS TAKEN ON ITS TRAVELS BY… International Publisher of Men’s Magazines Gareth Cherriman (+44 20 72955369) International Head of Content Anouska Christy (+44 20 7182 8941) International Commercial Manager Graham Kirk (+44 20 7182 8941) International Content Manager Jennifer Batchelor (+44 20 7182 8056) International Content Coordinator Charlotte Smith (+44 20 7182 8069) International Content Executive Ryan Chambers (+44 207 520 6561)
Information: info@tcg.media Subscriptions: subscribe@tcg.media Submissions: fhm@tcg.media Advertising: adsales@tcg.media Desk: editorial@tcg.media
TCG MEDIA LIMITED
EDITOR’S LETTER
As if the sweltering heat of May wasn’t good enough to torture us, last month turned out to be quite a heavy duty one for me. Apart from messed up shoots, colleagues seeing flying pigs at two in the afternoon and our office boy deciding to pursue a career in modelling, one of my closest friends went through a tough breakup. According to her, the worst part of getting separated was saying goodbye to her ex’s pets. For someone who was never into pets, infact, for someone who was petrified of the canine-kind, her latest relationship had changed all that. But now that the eject button had been hit, all that was left was to make a clean break and get out as soon as possible. So got out she did, but then came dealing with the memories, the emotions and going through the various stages of disbelief, denial and finally acceptance. Between all this, I certainly had those tiny moments of victory that sort of balanced the equation. A chance meeting with Kohli, the new superman of Indian cricket. Short drives in two extremely hot supercars — the Audi R8 V10 Plus and the sexy Jaguar F-Type. And the prospect of making mincemeat of an off roading terrain with the iconic Jeep Wrangler… Must say that a month that began as a disaster did turn around for the better. Now that we’ve got my troubles out of
the way, let’s find out what my team has been up to. So Siddharth, the smooth talker, who manages to land himself in the craziest of situations decided to go all morbid and churned up a feature on taxidermy. Spread over a dozen pages, this one will tell you exactly how you should bottle up memories! Apart from the morbid, he was also tasked with interviewing our cover girl for this month, Chitrangda. Though she did make him run around in circles, eventually they did come up with a stunner of an interview. Sudhakar, the lover boy on my team, has managed to fall for this Mumbai-based chick and we all feel that he’s conjured up some spell and is speaking to her WhatsApp photograph. I just hope that the blue ticks come in soon… Oh yeah… between all this, I forgot to share my biggest worry. Facing constant defeats, I have managed to hold on to the lowest spot in our office dartboard ranking chart. One more month in this position and I will have to play the ‘boss’ card and confiscate that damn game. What do you say? So with that threatening thought I will leave you to explore our latest edition. And as the YouTube vloggers say, hit like, share and subscribe… Hari Govind Nair
Head Office 101, Arunachal Building, 19, Barakhamba Road New Delhi - 110001, INDIA. Ph: +91.11.41543666 Mumbai Office Unit No.203, Anjani Complex, Parera, Hill Road, Opp Gurunanak Petrol Pump, Andheri (East), Mumbai- 400099 Bengaluru Office 1/1, ARN, 2nd floor, Promenade Road, Frazer Town, Bengaluru-560005 FHM INDIA MAGAZINE IS PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY NITIN AGARWAL ON BEHALF OF TCG MEDIA LIMITED. FHM INDIA MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY. FHM INDIA MAGAZINE IS A TRADEMARK OF BAUER CONSUMER MEDIA AND TCG MEDIA LIMITED. THE ENTIRE CONTENT OF FHM INDIA MAGAZINE IS COPYRIGHTED TO BAUER CONSUMER MEDIA AND TCG MEDIA LIMITED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. THE WRITING, ARTWORK AND/OR PHOTOGRAPHY CONTAINED HEREIN SHALL NOT BE USED OR REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION BY TCG MEDIA LIMITED. TCG MEDIA LIMITED OR ANY EMPLOYEE(S) DOES NOT ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR LOSS OR DAMAGE OF UNSOLICITED PRODUCTS, MANUSCRIPTS, PHOTOGRAPHS, ARTWORK, TRANSPARENCIES OR OTHER MATERIALS. TCG MEDIA LIMITED DOES NOT ASSUME ANY LIABILITY FOR SERVICES OR PRODUCTS ADVERTISED HEREIN. www.fhmindia.com
info@tcg.media 6
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THE TEAM
WHAT FHM ERS WERE UP TO LAST MONTH OOPS HE DID IT AGAIN...
SHARP SHOOTER SHETTY GOT HIS FIRST ‘SUPARI’!
Our office boy, Ram has been a moron of sorts since we don’t know when. And this time, it was Siddharth’s turn to get his revenge on him. Sid is the coolest guy in the office, but Ram has the knack of getting into the skin of people with his weird jokes. We don’t know what he said in Sid’s ears and we never will. However, it was Ram’s strength that caught Sid offgaurd. This guy, at 19, somehow managed to break the double arm lock of the much older Sid with his superhuman strength. Though our features writer got his lunch that day, we don’t know if it was ‘pure’. If you know what we mean!
It was the first and the last time in his career that ‘sharpshooter’ Prakash Shetty got the ‘FHM Bulls Eye Award’. In an unexpected turn of events, our designer was able to churn out maximum scores in a knockout dart game of 9 people. He was always the guy who could save you when you scored the lowest. But due to some unforeseen cosmic allignment, Mr. Shetty managed to save face.
EDITOR’S BUMPY RIDE ON AUDI FLEET
Our editor, Hari had gone for a test drive of the new Audis to Bengaluru. But the way this car was turning and twisting in the not-soable hands of him, we think that his bad times are still continuing. But that weekend turned his fortunes in the form of a new landlady who is a fan of our magazine. With women all around in his new apartment, he won’t mind taking them ladies for these ‘bumpy rides’ anymore. We doubt that the next edit meet is gonna be fun for us!
A QUICK SELFIE BETWEEN TWO PARTIES
AND THE NEXT DAY, SID CAME LIKE THIS...
After months of ignoring us for what we did to him the last time he came with us, our COO, Alok, as we were up for another booze session. After gulping down a tank of beer and heaps of Kebabs at the SDA market, the night wasn’t just over yet. Sid insisted that we needed to hear a certain band in a certain restro-bar in Hauz Khas Village and off we were at 12 in the midnight. We’re still trying to figure out what happened after this last selfie together. And we are sure Alok isn’t coming with us again, anytime soon!
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We’ve noticed one thing in Siddharth in so many months together at FHM that he wears formals to office the next day after every booze session. So, he came to office all prim and proper till we saw this. He couldn’t find his right pair of socks, or so he claimed. Few things to be clearly laid out... one, it was a wednesday; two, he ate a huge breakfast, a mammoth sized lunch and an enormously heavy snack in the evening. So, either he hadn’t eaten anything the previous night or he’s into some shit that he ain’t telling us.
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ECCENTRIC. PA S S I O N A T E . UNTAMED.
I N D I A ’A L E A D I N G M E N ’ S L I F E S T Y L E M A G A Z I N E
JUNE 2016
IT’S GREAT TO BE A MAN
IPL’S
WRONG ‘UN PALLAVI SHARDA
PA R T LY I N D I A N A N D V E RY A U S S I E, T H E L EG GY L A S S C A N B O W L S T R A I G H T, B U T I T ’ S H E R G O O G L I E S T H AT C A U G H T U S O F F G U A R D A N D E V E N T U A L LY. . . S T U M P E D ! Sudhakar Jha
Rushil Mehta/Jatin Kampani
FHM: Hey Pallavi, how exciting was all the limelight surrounding the IPL? Pallavi Sharda: I love the IPL. It’s an adrenaline-pumped tournament and I loved being on the field everyday and witnessing the colours, the crowds and the competition. It was an amazing experience. From an LLB graduate to doing modelling, classical dance, ads, theatre, movies and now anchoring. Is there anything left? There’s always so much left. I don’t believe in limiting myself. I’m not sure that I’ve ever been a model, though. Maybe I should tick off your list before I get to the rest of mine (laughs). So, what excites you the most among the things in your original list? My first love will always be dancing. I love to move and don’t think I do it enough anymore! At the moment I am concentrating on my film career. I will be going straight to the US for workshops for my upcoming film. This is your first time in FHM, tell us about yourself, from your growing up years to shifting base in India? It’s funny that my first ever piece (FHM 100 Sexiest Women In The World), when I visited India initially, was in FHM. So, actually this is a 12
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W H O ’S SHE? From Melbourne, Australia Vital Stats 34-24-34 Age 27 Facebook Pallavi Sharda Official Instagram: @pallavisharda Twitter: @pallavisharda
W H O ’S SHE? From: Kolkata Vital Stats: 34(B)-24-36 Age: 34 Facebook: facebook.com/ archanaofficial Instagram: @archanavijaya Twitter: @archanavijaya
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case of ‘life goes full circle’. I was born in Perth and grew up in Melbourne. I wanted to be an actress in Indian cinema ever since I can remember and geared my whole life towards achieving this goal. I quietly went about life as a kid and a teen pretending my childhood dream was not a real thing, but in reality I was planning a grand escape to Mumbai the whole time. I started learning Bharatnatyam at the age of three. Indian culture was a huge part of my upbringing. I am indebted to my life in Australia for everything that I am today, particularly my ability to switch seamlessly between the two cultures. You must have been a nerd of sorts with a highly educated family background. How did you change course into the glamour world? I still am a total nerd! In fact, I think what I miss the most are the rigorous intellectual discussions and debates. It is often not encouraged as an actress in India, and is sometimes even looked down upon. I think it’s very sad and unfortunate that glamour and intellect are often considered mutually exclusive. I quietly read books and write a lot to keep my brain ticking.
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We’ve heard that you have a diploma in French. Teach us a line or two… Il faut passer un petit peut plus de temps avec moi. It means, you’ll have to spend a bit more time with me! Oh, how sweet! So, two lead roles since your debut... Where were you hiding all this while? I am rather shy and keep out of the media generally. I guess I need to change that, because I’m here for the long haul! But honestly, I spend a lot of time shuttling between commitments in Australia, India and the US. Sometimes things seem quieter in one geography at a given time. Ok. Now we’ll know you through the eyes of FHM. Are you dating anyone? I wish! But it’s just me and my
work right now. If you had to be one half of a lesbian romance and had to pick a female co-star, who would it be and why? Kangana Ranaut! You know, it’s nice when someone else wears the pants. Tell us 5 things in men that turn you on? Well... not in a particular order, but here you go – wit, charm, sparkly eyes, empathy and strong arms, to carry me (winks). And what are the turn offs? They are the exact opposites. Lack of wit, lack of charm, dull eyes, self-centredness and zero arm strength. If you were a producer, which actor would you audition on your casting couch?
I started learning Bharatnatyam at the age of three. Indian culture was a huge part of my upbringing. fhmindia • fhmindia
Casting couch is a concept that I’ve been fighting for my entire career and I’m not a hypocrite. What is the naughtiest moment from your school days that you remember? I once cheated in a game of UNO. Isn’t that a bit lame? Yes, you could say that. I was kind of lame (hehe). What is the craziest place you’ve ever made love at? On a spaceship at the NASA headquarters, right before liftoff. Woah! So, how would you rate your lovemaking skills? I don’t kiss and tell (winks). What do you think is your sexiest physical attribute? The arches in my feet. They make me a good dancer! If you get the power to change into someone for a day, living or dead, who would you be and why? Oh, wow! I would want to turn into Marilyn Munroe. But now subway air up your dress has become so passé! Wait, I can be Donald Trump, too, so that I can change my wig.
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CRICKET QUIZ! Where is cow corner in the cricket field? Umm… I know this one. It’s somewhere near the deep midwicket boundary. What’s a leg glance? Are we really talking about cricket here (hehe)? It’s a shot played where both the legs come back towards the stumps and you snick the ball behind the stumps. Is there a fourth umpire in cricket? Yes, there is. It’s the reserve umpire.
I QUIETLY READ BOOKS AND WRITE A LOT TO KEEP MY BRAIN TICKING.
When is the pink ball used? They are used in day-night Test matches. What is a googly? Off spinner bowled with leg spin action or vice versa. In Australia, we call it the wrong ’un.
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Let’s change the topic now. Having worked in and around the cricket field, tell us about your favourite IPL boys? All the boys are wonderful and gracious. I have been overwhelmed by their professionalism and the jovial atmosphere. There are a few Australians who I am common friends with from back home, which is always nice. But my favourite boys are the commentators, the female ones too. They are all hilarious! Who are the bad and the good boys of the tournament? Didn’t the points table reveal it (winks)? So, are you into the good ones or the bad ones? I’m more into the down to earth and funny ones. Who is your favourite cricket guru? There are so many. Sunny Gavaskar, for being a true legend and saying that I can bowl straight. Danny ‘Mad Max’ Morrison for his quirks. Ramiz Raja for his exceptional hair. And Murali Karthik, of course, for his eloquence. Where do we see you next then? In an international film called Shambhala. It’s going to be a good one, unless my career as a T20 cricket presenter gets in the way, of course.
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WANDERING FOR
JUNE 2016 / ` 125
WELLNESS
VOLUME 15 ISSUE 5 • JUNE 2016 • `150
ADD ANOTHER LOVE (MAKING)
EXCLUSIVE BASELWORLD REPORT
SHOTGUN ON A LONG SHOT
SONAKSHI SINHA
RESURRECTION
BIBLE
INTERVIEWS WITH
JEFFREY ARCHER on corruption charges, bankruptcy and fiction fixation
POETS OF
chapter in your
WATCH SPECIAL
CARL F. BUCHERER BREITLING
WITH JIA SINGH
LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR
SIX PAKISTANI Young Guns Cast a FASHION SPELL
MARC JACOBS The Creative Intellectual BOOKS HALL OF FAME
SIX CELEBS pick their FAVOURITE TITLES
artists of
TAXIDERMY FROM AROUND THE WORLD
06 BEARD
I made love on a spaceship at NASA PALLAVI SHARDA
STYLES
FOR THE ALPHA MALE
gSdingah n a r t i Ch nything
e say a
need w
more!
INDIA EDITION VOL 9 ISSUE 07
India’s first magazine about diabetes MAR-APR 2016
APRIL-MAY 2016
It takes diabeticlivingonline.in
PALLIATIVE CARE
for
Cancer
patients
`100
TWOTO TANGO
VOLUME 10, ISSUE 1 `90
125
Years of
Scania
Supply chain: The unsung hero of your business
myths a 7about
DATE WITH THE
DENTIST
protein
Volvo’s solution to
Shrimp SPOTLIGHT
stranded
trucks
Ford F150: All new avatar
Skill gaps in the Indian logistics sector
ACCESS
LET THE
GAMES BEGIN...
FUN OR FUNNY, THE FOREPLAY BEFORE THE REAL DEAL UNDER THE SHEETS MUST BE FRESH. ALWAYS. OUR FEISTY LADY WRITES ANOTHER BRAND NEW CHAPTER IN YOUR LOVE (-MAKING) BIBLE. Words: Mallika Nawal
G
eorge Bernard Shaw once said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” While ordinarily, playtime is reserved for children and children alone (and quite sadly so); it’s finally time to bring the foreplay ‘playpen’ into the beckoning boudoir… after all, why should children have all the fun! However, before you shove your wand inside her chamber of secrets, you must first find the secret opening. And while Riddle managed to open it with parseltongue, you don’t have to be a parselmouth to get her to join you in a romping round of bedroom rodeo. And remember, when we speak of playing games… we aren’t just referring to boisterous bandicoot! 18
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Connect the Dots
Did you know that kids who play connect-the-dot games have sharper minds and better hand-eye coordination? And let’s be honest, adults too stand to benefit much from these games. After all, it’s common knowledge that the brain is the biggest sex organ and we all can use some better hand-eye coordination in the sack. Hence, the next time you want to surprise your mate — boink! — print out some dot-to-dot sheets of some serious ‘tantric sex’ positions. They’re ‘dotted’ for your pleasure!
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Check the Cheque Steve Maraboli was bang-on-target when he said, “The bank of love is never bankrupt!” Thus, you and your partner can perform boring house chores in trade for some kinky sex cheques, drawn at the Bank of Eros, payable at the time of presentation. The best part: even mundane house chores will become slowly ticking sex-bombs. And it’s easy to create too… all you need is a laptop, printer and some wicked wit!
Mystery Toy for
Princess
Sophia
Well, first things first… if you don’t know what a ‘Princess Sophia’ is, it’s time for a play-date with Matthew McConaughey. Of course, for the initiated and informed, it’s time to play the guessing game with the ‘mystery toy’. Simply, blindfold your partner and run mystery items up and down the contours of her body. As she takes in the tantalising textures and guesses the mystery toy, remember… it’s the slow and steady that wins the race… and ‘comes’ in the end.
The Pop-up Book of Sex This game is meant for all you bookworms out there looking for a fresh way of burping the worm in the mole hole. Hence, the next time your ‘bibliophilia’ threatens to take over your ‘paraphilia,’ bring the bad book to the bed. Of course, it ain’t just an ordinary book… it’s the everscandalous three-dimensional pop-up book of sex. It comes with 10 jaw-dropping ‘pop-up’ positions (from classic missionary to the exotic lotus) where 3D characters come to life in order to writhe and wriggle. Thus, it’s time to open the book and mimic what pops up! fhmindia.com
Time Bomb Ever seen a James Bond movie? Oh, the anticipation… it can slice the hardest rocks. So, the next time you’re in the sack with a sexy siren, hold off until the ‘sirens’ literally go off, and only then do you get in… and get off. Of course, while setting a ten-minute foreplay timer is a good idea, there’s no use cheating with a one-minute hour-glass.
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IT’S GETTING FRICKING HOT IN HERE AND WE’RE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO PEAK SUMMER. TIME TO GRAB A TRAVEL AGENT BY THE NECK AND GET SOME FREE DEALS TO ALL THIS COOL STUFF THAT’S HAPPENING...
ACCESS
ELECTRIC DAISY CARNIVAL Las Vegas
17-19 JUNE
20
June 2016
WILDLIFE FESTIVAL Brighton
11-12 JUNE
INTI RAYMI Peru
24 JUNE
16-18 JUNE
SONAR Barcelona
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ACCESS
11-12 JUNE PARKLIFE Manchester
15-19 JUNE
THE MIDNIGHT SUN FILM FESTIVAL Finland
1-5 JUNE
DISTORTION Copenhagen
10-14 JUNE
* Disclaimer: Map not to scale.
MEADOWS IN THE MOUNTAIN Bulgaria
16-19 JUNE ART BASEL Switzerland
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2-12 JULY
HIMALAYAN DASH Shimla, Leh, Srinagar fhmindia • fhmindia
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ACCESS
Hopefully I will come to India this year. The fans have been tweeting like crazy.
W H O ’S SHE? Age: 27 From: California Vital stats: 34-26-37 Twitter: @Officialkimlee Instagram: @kimlee
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ACCESS
With a body like that, DJ Kim rules out losing out the dance floor to another jockey who rides on the digital disc. She has promised to give us a lesson in piano, but there are more obvious reasons to love her. Sudhakar Jha
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Christopher Sullivan & Julian Morales
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ACCESS FHM: How ecstatic are you about your second stint with FHM India? We are thrilled… Kim Lee: I’m very honoured. India is known for beautiful women and to be a part of FHM India means a lot to me.
Is there a chance of a piano session at our office then? (Haha) Absolutely! We’ll throw a party there and I’ll teach everyone to play.
How do you like the tag of ‘Asia’s Kim Kardashian’? I find Kim very beautiful so I take it as a compliment. I think it’s the dark hair, and we both have curvy bodies that triggers the comparison.
What are the songs that you are listening to these days? Since I DJ, I listen to everything. I mean I need to know what’s new all the time. But I will always love 80’s music! I love relaxing music too, but sometimes I just feel like listening to Kanye West or Lil Drake.
Do you have any plans of coming to India? Yes! Hopefully this year! I have so many fans tweeting me and asking me when will I be visiting India. So I will have to make this happen soon!
How did you get into the world of modelling? I’ve always loved getting clicked, so I started taking a lot of images. When I was 17, I started sending out to a lot of magazines and I also
I have a tattoo below my belly button, but I don’t think it’s much of a secret, because I take a lot of bikini photos and it’s quite visible.
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ACCESS did a lot of music videos before for Katy Perry, LMFAO, Kanye West, Jay Sean and many more. I love entertainment and DJing came right after all of this. Would you like to share your most embarrassing moment on the ramp? It was not on a ramp, but oh boy, was it embarrassing! I remember this one time I was at the mall. I was wearing a white Marilyn Monroe type of dress. I went to the bathroom and came out, went up the escalator and people were looking at me. Few of them were like, “excuse me, your underwear is showing!” I looked and the back of my dress was tucked in my thong! I was so embarrassed and just went home! There was definitely no shopping after that. What’s the most striking feature in your body? My lips and then the eyes. How do you like to spend your day when not shooting for a music video or for magazines? I love playing the piano, reading and working out. I also like to spend time with my family. Due to work, I’m mostly out of town, so whenever I get time, I head back home! Do you have a secret tattoo? Yes! It’s below my belly button, but I don’t think it’s much of a secret any way, because I take a lot of bikini photos and it’s quite visible. When was the first time you ever kissed a guy? How was the feeling? OMG! It was actually in kindergarten. I was forced to kiss a boy because there was this girl who was a bully and, I don’t know why but, I was scared of her for some reason. It was under a blanket during school and he was really cute, so I don’t regret it! What is the first thing that you notice in a guy? His smile and the way he dresses up. And then his personality. These are the most important things for me. They make the first impression and that’s what matters, isn’t it? What do you think you look sexiest in? I think when I’m in thigh high boots or when I wear anything black. The colour has a class. What is the most amazing piece of bikini you have owned? Please describe it fhmindia.com
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ACCESS
I find Kim Kardashian very beautiful so I take it as a compliment. I think it’s the dark hair and we both have curvy bodies that triggers the comparison.
ACCESS
I love red and black in lingerie. They make me look so sexy.
ACCESS
in as much detail as you can. The one that’s in the magazine right now. It’s a Brazilian cut style in yellow. It just fits me so perfectly and it compliments my hair and everything just the way I want. Oh, we can’t agree more! So, what’s your choice when picking up lingerie? I love red and black in lingerie. They make me look so sexy (winks). Where is the craziest place you have ever made out? Umm... Craziest? In the bathroom, may be? Your favourite dress in your wardrobe? What does it look like? It’s definitely my black corset dress. It hugs my
body and makes my waist line really small and it’s just a sexy elegant dress.
to impress a girl. It’s actually a turn off, because eventually the girl will know the real you.
Beaches or mountains, what excites you more? The beaches, for sure. Since I live at the beach, I’ve always loved it. It’s so relaxing and good for your mind.
If we come to your home uninvited, what all are we expected to find? Me without makeup, in a robe (winks).
Would you walk nude on a beach if no one’s watching you? Probably (laughs).
Tell us that one secret which no one knows about you? I’m a very moody person and maybe it’s because I’m a Gemini.
How should a guy approach you when you’re having your ‘me time’ in a bar? Just politely introduce yourself and just be the way you are with everyone else. I hate guys who pretend to be someone who they aren’t in order
Where do we see you next? I’m going to be a lot in Vegas this summer because I have a residency at Drai’s Beachclub! Then I will be in Asia in June because I’m playing at Ultra Korea this year!
Kim Lee’s life this month
We stick together like rice 28
June 2016
I’m all the way
I love music... I love instruments... The sound of it... fhmindia • fhmindia
What’s worth it ain’t gonna come easy... fhmindia.com
Bloke Test
This month’s challenger...
PapaCJ, Stand-up comedian The first Indian comedian to have been invited to perform at the Just For Laughs festival in Canada, Papa CJ plays your funny bone like a matador. But is he ready for the manliest test on Earth?
01 Have you ever stared someone out? I’ve performed at gunpoint in front of 500 people in South Africa. And I’m pretty sure staring down the barrel of a gun tops school playground games! 02 Have you ever followed through on an exuberant fart? I’m a comedian and heckler treatment is always more than hot air. Mess with me and you will get shit. 03 What’s the most masculine thing you’ve ever done? Trained as a mountaineer under the first man who climbed Mt. Everest twice, been skydiving, bungee jumping, river rafting and climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. 04 What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever set fire to? A bullshit dream sold by fairy tales that ends with the words ‘happily ever after’. 05 Have you ever growled at yourself in a mirror? I’m shocked that you would ask me that question – you fhmindia.com
were there! Clearly it wasn’t a memorable night.
It would be ungentlemanly to take their names.
06 Have you ever used a voucher on a date? I’ve tried. But she wouldn’t accept vouchers. Also I’m not sure I’d call it a ‘date’.
10 What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever drunk from? I think she was Greek.
07 Have you ever fraped someone? No, but I have shaved half of somebody’s thick moustache while he was sleeping and written ‘I love cock’ on somebody’s forehead with permanent marker while he was passed out drunk. 08 Have you ever shaved a part of your body other than your face? Topiary is not a pet hobby. And while God has kindly blessed me with just the right amount of foliage, in the past year I’ve performed almost naked (boxers only) in front of over 10,000 people in Australia, South Africa, UK, USA and India and in spite of a year in the gym, the only compliment women have ever given me has been ‘nice feet’. 09 What’s the biggest sandwich you’ve ever made and eaten?
11 Have you ever had a successful naughty video chat session? Dude, this is 2016! Are you saying there are still people on this planet who haven’t? 12 Have you ever asked your date to pay in a restaurant? I’m sorry but I come from a generation that doesn’t get the concept of dates. Our modus operandi of hooking up relies entirely on alcohol and poor judgement.
15 What are the first three things that you go about checking out in a woman? The same three things that I admire in a man actually! I look for a positive attitude, the pursuit of a passion and the tolerance for bottom of the barrel humour!
Papa… That’s what you’ve proven yourself to be in the test; not with a paunch for a belly and lecture for small talk, but with a lash for a tongue. You’ve pretty much owned it yo!
13 How would you sell your handshake? Handshakes aren’t for sale. Those who deserve one will get one – firmly. 14 What do you smell like? You’re going to have to buy me at least a couple of drinks before I let you get close enough to find out.
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MOVIES
01 RAMAN RAGHAV 2.0
mbai. (Neo-noir) a notorious serial killer from Mu psychological thriller based on dentally, Inci . city the in e gam ad s-b Raman Raghav 2.0 is a dark the morality of the good-v s lore exp ly ical mat the it s, Set in the ’60 s. pleted the shoot in just 20 day director Anurag Kashyap com Dhulipala hita diqui, Vicky Kaushal, Sob Star cast: Nawazuddin Sid 6 Release Date: 24th June, 201
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After two successful ‘Housefull’ installments, the directorproducer duo, Sajid-Farhad, is back with yet another sequel with a twist in star cast. Let’s see if the huge star cast and the brand is able to pull off the romantic comedy for the third time too. Star cast: Akshay Kumar, Abhishek Bachchan, Ritesh Deshmukh, Jacqueline Fernandez, Nargis Fakhri and Lisa Haydon Release Date: 3rd June, 2016
PUNJAB 04 UDTA (Crime/Drama) Powerful star cast, thrilling songs, sensational story and the land of drug abuse makes it a gritty thriller. Udta Punjab, which completely justifies its title, deals with the drug mafia in India, deeply rooted in the state of Punjab. Check out how ‘the land of five rivers’ unfortunately turned into the ‘land of drugs’ with 80 per cent of youth under the influence of substance abuse. Star Cast: Shahid Kapoor, Alia Bhatt, Kareena Kapoor, Diljit Dosanjh; Release Date: 17 June, 2016
03 TE3N (Thriller) Set in the city of Kolkata with an extremely powerful star cast, the suspense thriller is the journey of John who hasn’t given up on his quest for justice even after eight years of his granddaughter’s kidnap. It’s an explosive yet emotionally charged film based on parallel kidnappings. Star cast: Amitabh Bachchan, Nawazuddin Siddiqui & Vidya Balan ; Release Date: 10th June 2016
DAY 05 INDEPENDENCE RESURGENCE
Two decades after the first Independence Day invasion, a new threat arises. The nations of Earth collaborate on a massive defense programme from recovered extraterrestrial technology to save the planet from an alien attack. Star cast: Maika Monroe, Joey King, Liam Hemsworth; Release date: 24th June, 2016
Words: Simrita Sahney
3 02 (HOUSEFULL Comedy)
June 2016
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(Action/Sci-Fi)
CAR REVIEW
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fhmindia.com
With just the right amount of attitude and power to navigate through our style conscious, but congested, city lanes, the Datsun redi-Go is the new kid that’s wooing the first-time car buyers. Let’s find out if it’s really ready to go… Words: Hari Govind Nair
THE SPUNKY CITY KID D
atsun, the Japanese small car maker, has been living in the shadow of its parent, Nissan, in India, for the last couple of years. With its two vehicles, Go and Go+, Datsun has managed to sort of breach the small car buyers territory, a stronghold of Maruti Suzuki and Hyundai. It definitely has a long, like really long, way to go before it can boast of a significant contribution in this segment, but it has managed to sneak a toe in. And now to further its cause, their latest offering, the redi-Go is all set to weave its charms. With an extremely compact structure and an exciting design, the redi-Go plans to take on the mighty Alto 800 and the Eon. But when the manufacturer started drawing comparison of some of its features and specifications to those in cars such as the Creta and the Dzire, the car freak in us got turned on and we decided to take a closer look. This is what we found...
INITIAL IMPRESSION Over the last few years most of the small cars have come up with snazzy designs to attract attention. We still remember when manufacturers used to keep minimal design elements on small cars to keep costs down... but now this has totally changed. The redi-Go is by no means a staid looking small car. It throws major attitude around with its nononsense look and persona. Up front, the massive grille is flanked by super-sleek fhmindia.com
headlamps and a day-time LED strip. It comes across as a powerful machine with major road presence. What really knocked us off was the side profile of the car. Thoughtful design cues have been used on the door panels to match the shape of the windows which give it a sporty feel. Moving to the rear, the brake lights are quite high on the frame and the tall boy stance gives it a nice butch SUVish stance. MOVING IN Personally I’m not a big fan of small cars as I end up facing one or the other size related issues. Being six foot and slightly on the heavy side, there’s no way that an average Indian adult can sit comfortably in the rear seat if I’m behind the wheel. In fact, the only aspect of the car that bugged me ’cause of the body structure was the air-con control panel which always seemed to come in the way of my knee when I had to use the clutch. The design of the interior has been tastefully done and Datsun has given lot of stowage pockets, big enough to hold on to those massive smartphones that seem to be a rage today. For the segment it is aiming at, the redi-Go has decent legroom, headroom and boot space. But then, if you’re a tall and large person, this is definitely not for you. CRANKING IT UP The Datsun redi-Go is powered by an fhmindia • fhmindia
DATSUN REDI-GO Engine 800 cc, petrol Power 68ps Torque 160 Nm Ground clearance 185 mm 0-100 kph 15.98 seconds Price To be announced
800 cc engine... the same one that has been working under the Renault Kwid’s hood. This 3-cylinder, petrol motor develops a peak power of 54PS at 5,678rpm and maximum torque of 72Nm at 4,386rpm. It’s perfect to potter around the city and has enough juice to maybe touch a century on those odd days. While driving you’ll notice that the visibility of the road and the surroundings from the driver’s position is quite impressive. Its cabin doesn’t constrict the vision and the gear shift ratios have been perfected to manage start-stop driving conditions. FINAL VERDICT Two things that actually matter in the small car segment are the price point and the mileage. Rest of the features like safety, design, quality, power and stuff, unfortunately take the backseat. Though the redi-Go aces all the said features and stands neck-to-neck with its rivals, it’s the pricing that will eventually decide how the customer reacts. We feel that Datsun might go in for a juicy launch price, around Rs 2.5 lakhs or maybe a shade lower to create some buzz. And as far as the mileage is concerned, the company is claiming returns in the region of 25 kpl, quite a tall order... June 2016
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RANT OF THE MONTH
SPORTS… SPORT… SPOR… NATIONALISM!
AGRRESSIVE JINGOISM BY VESTED INTERESTS IS DESTROYING OUR INNER CHILD. SPORTS IS THE LATEST VICTIM. Words: Sanjay Rajoura
Growing up in the 1980s was fun. Those were the years before economic liberalisation and frenzied urban growth. We had one thing that the kids of today cannot take for granted – space. With no Internet, no play stations, no digital distraction and lots of open space, the pursuit of sports came naturally to us. We grew up playing cricket, football, hockey and other not-so-urban games. Sports were an integral part of our lives. Much has changed since the 1980s. So have the sports. Now, I am not the typical old-world hugging, nostalgia-nerd who likes to complain about change. What really annoys me is the change in sporting character in our country. What upsets me is the creeping ugliness – dubiously masquerading as aggression and killer-instinct – in our approach to sports. Are we sporting enough to be graceful losers of a game, sporting enough to appreciate that the other team is better? Are we sporting enough to acknowledge that after all it’s just a game? Over the last two years or so, we have consistently lost something really precious in 34
June 2016
sports – sportsman spirit. And this is not just limited to the games. Suddenly a nation that takes pride in being a 5,000-year old civilisation, is struggling to find its national character. In our search for a prideful identity that suits our 21st century aspirations, we have by some strange logic, chosen fauxaggression to be our national character. To shout loudly, with pumping fists, Bharat mata ki jai, somehow makes us more Indian. People are being beaten, lynched, maimed and prosecuted for not saying Bharat mata ki jai. People are forced to stand and sing the national anthem before movies in cinema halls. And you can be roughed up and questioned about your patriotism if you neglect to stand up. Nowhere is this aggressive, macho nationalism more visible than in our sports. In 2011, the ICC cricket world cup was played in India. The theme song for the tournament went like this: aiday payday de ghuma kay, gutthi guttha de ghuma kay… (let’s fight and hit the opponent with force). To illustrate my point further consider one soda fhmindia • fhmindia
brand ad campaign launched during the IPL season in recent years. Actor Ranbir Kapoor says in the ad, “yeh cricket hai, na tameez se khela jaata hai, na tameez se dekha jaata hai” (this is cricket, neither is it played with grace nor is it watched with grace). Even the poor old rural game of kabaddi is not spared in its new glitzy, hyper-urban makeover. In the promo campaign of pro-kabaddi league, Amitabh Bacchhan, the angry young man of yore shouts and urges people to le panga (needle the opposition). These are not routine sports sloganeering. There is a definite undercurrent of violence, and muscle-flexing machismo in these ad campaigns. This call to demonstrate lumpen behaviour, coming from people like Amitabh Bacchhan and Ranbir Kapoor, gains a degree of legitimacy for a lot of people. Simple sports have now become gladiatorial events, where the spectator is encouraged to be macho and bloodthirsty. One look at the names of the IPL teams and one would realise that sports is perhaps a casualty of this dangerous cocktail of aggression, machismo and nationalism. Delhi DareDevils, Pune Warriors, Deccan Chargers and the list goes on. Where is the sport here? Perhaps it lays buried deep, trampled to death by slogan shouting, chest thumping warriors of the new, aggressive India. And let us not forget, such calls for lumpenisation can have dangerous fallout in a new India, two-thirds of our population of which is under 35 years of age. What was gently celebrated as ‘youngistan’ a few years ago is now being urged to become ‘aggressionistan.’ Is it any wonder that this whipped-up aggression also translates into hate and vitriol for the boys-in-blue when the Indian cricket team loses? Before every major cricket series, the marketing and advertising guys fully exploit this nationalistic fervour and launch campaigns about the series, campaigns that humiliate the opposition and lionise the Indian team. ‘Mauka mauka’ is one recent example. But when the results of the series are not in India’s favour, we just forget the campaign and move on to the next one with the same blue print. I don’t know what it is called now but there was a time when we called it ‘shamelessness.’ Remember the series when Indian cricket team last toured Bangladesh? Marketing and advertising gurus in India came up with a campaign where they condescendingly called the Bangladesh team a bacchha. As it turned out Bangladesh beat India fair and square. Not one apology came from any of the gurus. India doesn’t apologise it seems, no matter what the wrong is, or how wrong it is. There is a debate going on in the country on the issue of nationalism. One has to wear his/ her nationalism on their sleeves these days. And this narrow nationalism is creeping and raising its head in every walk of life. Sport is just one casualty. What we played back in the day was all about craft, but it was not devoid of emotion. Today, in the name of infusing it with raw energy, we are changing something valuable about why we play. Sanjay Rajoura is a stand-up comic and satirist
fhmindia.com
RANT OF THE MONTH
Virat Kohli celebrating a wicket
Kohli attributes his aggression to the tough system he had to fight through to enter Team India.
Amitabh Bachchan at a Pro Kabaddi League match
The original angry young man of India is often spotted supporting his son’s team pretty animatedly.
Mauka Mauka...
The extremely popular series of Star Sports ads poke fun at all the teams India play against. fhmindia.com
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ROGER t a h t in SA WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A PRODUCER, PHOTOGRAPHER, PR AND TRAVELLER OF A DUDE ROAMS AROUND SOUTH AFRICA TO EAT AND GET INKED? LADIES AND GENTS, MEET BRETT ROGERS. Words: Siddharth M Joshi
“I hear of cricket from my dad who is always angry when we lose to you guys!”
TLC has recently started a new programme on TV, called Food, Dudes and Tattoos. Pretty obvious from the title, the show is on food, dudes and well... tattoos in South Africa, as documented and presented by first timer, Brett Rogers. We were curious about some not so obvious things about the show, so we sat Brett down for some clarity.
INTERVIEW FHM: Food, booze and dudes go together. Where do tattoos fit in? Brett Rogers: The spirit of the show is creativity and art, so tattoos fit in beautifully. We wanted to show that people who create, regardless of what they create, are all artists. The show’s on South Africa. What all parts of the country have you covered? We did Johannesburg, Durban, Nieu Bethesda, George, Mossel Bay, Oudtshoorn, Cape Town, Swellendam, Wellington, Stellenbosch, Soweto… We drove a lot from one end to another. How long did the homework take before you decided to start shooting for the show? For guests, which was my job, it took about two months. But the actual show took the producers more than a year of work. I was brought in for content and presentation only once all the preparation was complete. It’s incredible how they worked so hard to get it all together.
get 3rd degree burns. And then your tattoo might fall off... Shiver! What is the strangest thing you’ve had for dinner? I’ve eaten lamb intestines, sheep brains and Mopane worms. But I still haven’t been to Asia, so I’m sure there’s some more weird shit for me to eat! What is the most interesting food that you’ve had? Umm... I’d say a raclette cheese in Paris. It’s served on a sliding board that moves the cheese closer to a heating element. You eat the melting cheese using warm crispy French bread. Pure heaven! What are the most popular tattoo trends in South Africa among youngsters? Interesting question. I think the trends at the moment tend to be quite homemade looking. Almost a prison tjap (tattoo) as we’d say. I
Tell us about your journey. What part would you like to relive? Well, I’d love to be under the night sky in Nieu Bethesda again, relaxing and looking at shooting stars with my team around me. The first tattoo always has a story. What’s yours? Haha. Mine was attached to my desire to be an Olympic swimmer. I wanted to get the rings tattooed on me. I never achieved that goal, so my first tattoo is me saying goodbye to that dream. I got this terrible one on my inner left arm (three leaves intertwining). It’s such a bad tattoo, mostly scar tissue and fading. But that’s ok... Like you said, it has a story. How many tattoos do you have on your body? 1... 2... 3... Gosh, no idea! What part of the world would you like to explore next? In order: India, Chile, Brazil, Alaska, Russia. I love travelling.
Were any special preparations required? Well, I had to be prepared!! It was my first TV assignment, so I was really nervous about doing a good job. I had an amazing director next to me, Nic Hester, who really helped bring me out of my shell. Having said that... I have a lot to learn!
Your professional journey has been boundless. What drives you to choose your next vocation/ profession? I am curious. I love to try new things and I love to learn. I want to do so much in my life that I can’t fathom just doing one thing. So, the major factor that drives me is opportunity. Have you ever been to India? What’s your understanding of the subcontinent? Sadly, I have not. I hear of cricket from my dad who is always angry when we lose to you guys! My understanding is based on what the media tells me. So I hear of a beautiful country, which is hugely powerful and is only getting more powerful. I know of beautiful women and hippies in Goa. I know of gorgeous natural landscapes and amazing films. I really need to come there.
I once saw a video of removing a tattoo South Africa style where a really hot spoon was doused on the guy’s tattoo and after a few reps the paint began to spread out. Does that make sense? Wow, that sounds like a terrible idea!!! Honestly it just sounds like you’re going to
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have a few tjaps which I love. I also see a lot of dedication now... people starting with big projects at young age. It’s pretty cool.
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IS H UT T’S O B HA A T S KS NG ND I . L , TA PATA ES A VIE Y YA ER, CL MO H A R AD RILL E CI TO P TO L TH TH E IN T HA ICA D IN MAD TS ... C E AR LOG EIV O BE ERP M Joshi K AS CHO REC G T EXC iddharth H s: S , B PSY ELL OIN ord R W HO EST EN W ON G T AU LAT BE SO
INTERVIEW
n the midst of one of the worst monsoons in Mumbai, a man is found brutally murdered, his body posed like a kite on the tallest cell tower in the city. As one corpse after another turns up in the unlikeliest of places, each gruesomely killed and carefully arranged in a grotesque manner, the Mumbai Police realise they have more on their hands than they can deal with. Enter Chandrakant Rathod, a maverick investigator the police turn to in times of need, who plays by his own rules and lives for the thrill of the chase. Pitting his sharp instincts against the machinations of the sadistic, ruthless killer, the detective succeeds in nabbing the psychopath and putting him behind bars. Then, three months later, the killings begin again. A deadly game is afoot – a game that will challenge Rathod to the utmost, for it is a game that he cannot hope to win...
I
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FHM: Hi Bhaskar, congratulations on a great thriller, Patang. You’ve written that the book is soon going to be made into a film. While reading it I could actually see the plot take shape as in a movie. Did you write it from that perspective? Bhaskar Chattopadhyay: Thanks. Well, I wrote Patang when someone from the Mumbai film industry asked me to write a story for a film. When I first wrote it, it was a small 30-page treatment, and then I fleshed it out in detail, with ‘scenes’ in mind, into a full-fledged novel. This is, perhaps, why you see the cinematic – almost screenplay-like – approach in the writing. I am of the opinion fhmindia • fhmindia
that the subject itself has a great visual and cinematic appeal. And to add to it, I’ve been told, my own writing style is quite visual. What inspired you to write a psychological thriller? I didn’t start with the genre in mind, I started with the idea. The idea of a mind so unimaginably fragile, that it goes to the extent of giving a man a reason to kill. That concept fascinated me a lot, and that’s how Patang happened. Having said that, I must also haste to add that I am a big fan of psychological thrillers myself. The human mind, with all its victories and all its faults, fascinates me.
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What kind of preparation did you undergo before and while writing. I didn’t prepare before writing the story, I just started writing one day. But while writing the story, I of course had to make sure that certain references that I was making were factually correct, especially the technical ones. I come from a Science and Mathematics background, so I felt comfortable making some of the scientific allusions. There are some novels that I’ve written, where I’ve had to do a lot of preparation. But not Patang. It just flowed from one page to another. Why the kite for a criminal pattern? I’d have asked you the same question if you’d picked up another symbol... Well, I needed a motif; a token, a symbol, something that always keeps playing in the killer’s mind. I’m sure you’ve had this experience of having a tune stuck to your mind, so much so that it keeps playing in your head over and over again throughout the day. Now imagine something that keeps playing inside your head year after year. What a strong and fantastic impression that would be! And what could possibly be the reason for such a strong impression? To know that, one has to read the book! (Smiles)
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June 2016
“THE HUMAN MIND, WITH ALL ITS VICTORIES AND ALL ITS FAULTS, FASCINATES ME.”
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You’ve been in the literary circles for quite some time now. Tell us how it all began... your initiation into writing. I used to write small articles and stories for my school and college magazines, and they were well appreciated. But I’d never imagined that I’d take up writing seriously. It seemed too mammoth a task, to be honest, a task that would perhaps be a futile exercise at the end, for who on earth would publish me? But all said, writing was a very liberating experience so I continued with it, just for myself. Years went by, and I was working in an IT company, where my project suddenly ended, and I was asked to sit on the bench (techies would know what I’m talking about). It’s a very uncomfortable period when all you do in office is have dozens of cups of coffee and just laze around. I spent most of my time reading and thinking. I revisited some of my childhood classics, books that I had read and loved as a child. Nostalgia aside, one such book bowled me over, and I was surprised that even as an adult I felt the same joy that I’d experienced as a kid. So, with a lot of time in hand, I translated the novel in English, with absolutely no intention of getting it published. Several months after this incident, on the repeated pestering of a friend who had chanced upon the manuscript, I sent the novel to HarperCollins, who loved it and immediately made an offer. That’s how my first book No Child’s Play, a roller coaster of a thriller, originally written by Shirshendu Mukherjee, was published. After this, I translated another lovely thriller by Mr. Mukherjee called The House by the Lake, and much to my surprise, even that got fhmindia.com
INTERVIEW
published. That’s when I thought – who knows, perhaps I can do this too! So, I conceived the idea of a book titled 14: Stories that Inspired Satyajit Ray. Not only did Harper make an offer on the book even before I had written it, the book went on to becoming a bestseller. I got an offer to translate a dozen stories by noted Bangladeshi writer Hassan Azizul Huq. I did that too. By this time, along with doing translations, I wanted to tell my own stories too, so I began thinking beyond translations. And that’s when Patang happened. Who do you imagine playing Rathod in the film? You could give us a few options if you like. (Smiles) I’d say Irrfan Khan. He is one of the best actors that we have in the Mumbai film industry today. His persona, his intelligence, and the way he approaches and executes a role fascinate me. Having created him, if I really know Chandrakant Rathod well, I think Irrfan Khan would be the best person to play him – a moody, thinking detective who doesn’t care two hoots about money, who’s just in it for the thrill of solving puzzles, for a superlative exercise of the brain. What’s next? My next novel is a whodunit, titled Penumbra . This introduces a new detective – a cerebral sleuth of sorts – and I hope my readers like the character, because I have plans to turn this into a series. The book will be out in Aug
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or Sep this year. Then comes another translation project, called Shiva that tells the story of a poor boy who rises from the seedy slums of North Kolkata and goes on to becoming the National Boxing Champion in the Welterweight category. It was originally written as two sports novellas by noted Bengali writer Moti Nandi. I took the two and merged them into one English novel. Penguin is publishing it, and it will be out in October. Early next year comes Nayak , which is my novelisation of Satyajit Ray’s famous film of the same name. What is your advice to those who want to write books and get them published? Well, I am just starting out myself. But one advice that I can give is to write as much and as freely as you can – without thinking of getting your writing published, without worrying whether people would love it or loathe it. Just write. Write without a care in the world, don’t hold yourself back, don’t plan too much, don’t spend too much time decorating your writing desk and buying coffee mugs and putting up inspirational posters and quotes. Just write. Secondly, rather than randomly mailing your work to publishing houses, try and contact a literary agent. A lit agent does two things, which I think are of immense value. First, s/he
fhmindia • fhmindia
“I IMAGINE IRRFAN KHAN PLAYING CHANDRAKANT RATHOD, THE LEAD DETECTIVE IN PATANG.”
assesses your writing and gives you feedback, tells you what’s working, what’s not. Second, a lit agent knows, through years of experience of closely working with multiple editors and publishing houses, exactly who to send your manuscript to. In other words, s/he maximizes the chances of your success. And finally, be prepared for failures – several of them. The most difficult job of a writer is not the writing – rather it is knowing how to strike a balance between being confident of your work, and yet being open to making it better. What do you think of cinematic adaptations of literary works? You see, I come from West Bengal, a land where the alternate name for a film is boi (book). There was a time, when almost all films used to find their story sources in literature. Even today, filmmakers in our country are turning towards literature to find great stories. And there’s virtually no end to it. Just the other day, I was talking to a noted filmmaker and he told me how one of my books opened his eyes to the fascinating world of short stories, something that he had never considered as a possible source earlier, because he was only reading novels and plays. Cinematic adaptations are inevitable and necessary. If you’re trying to tell a story in a visual medium, then along with creating new stories, you might also want to explore those that have been told in a non-visual medium. It’s the most intelligent thing to do. My heart aches to think of all the beautiful gems of stories that lie hidden in the vast treasure troves of our country’s literature, and which can be made into beautiful films that are both meaningful as well as financially lucrative. June 2016
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Bodysuit and Boots: Koovs
THE MAKER’S
MUSE a d g n a r t i Ch SINGH EVERYBODY NEEDS AN INSPIRATION TO GO ON LIVING AND LEADING A FULL LIFE. ARTISTS, MORE SO. EVER WONDERED WHO INSPIRES THE GODS TO INFUSE THE HUMAN FORM WITH BEAUTY? WE’D LIKE TO IMAGINE IT’S SOMEONE LIKE OUR COVER GIRL. LADS AND GALS, IT’S TIME TO WELCOME HER BACK... AS THE MAKER’S MUSE. Words SIDDHARTH M JOSHI //Photography TARAS TARAPORVALA Styling DHRUV ADITYA DAVE // Hair and Make-up MARIANNA // Location THE KORNER HOUSE, UNION PARK, MUMBAI fhmindia.com
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R
eally? Now that you’ve told me, yes I did miss you guys! But Gawwd... it’s been so long!” is her reaction when we ask Chitrangda if she missed us at all since the last time she reduced our cover to sweet ashes back in January 2012. We missed her just like all the ladies missed Jon Snow right after Season 5, with the same longing, desire and that unquenchable craving to see him again. We’re glad we acted just in time to capture her charm yet again. We don’t contain the excitement in our heart and rather spell it out in the most crass way possible – let this be our redemption song. “I like the way you make up for it,” she replies with a disarming smile. So, what’s new? A lot must have changed since then. And it has. Chitrangda, the lovely lady who stole our hearts with a sheaf of expressions in her eyes and a dusky glow that shone like molten gold, is much more passionate about cinema than ever before. Even more passionate than she was in Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi? We can’t imagine that being a possibility. “Earlier I was passionate about acting but now I am more aware of cinema as a medium. I think I’ve become a lot more passionate rather than ambitious about it. I’m more involved in the new writing and what’s happening on TV. So, yeah... there’s always that possibility.” She’s been far more fitness-aware than she was before, she tells us (another segment that leaves us confused). “Now I’m very regular with my Pilates, kickboxing and yoga; and I eat well. It’s something that has consciously become a part of me.” We think we know what she’s talking about. Those facial curves; the way light plays a sensual game with her cheek bones and that jaw line, and consorts with shadows to bare it all, write testimonies to her hard work. “And I am on Twitter now,” Chitrangda finally chuckles and we know the session’s going to be more fun than we’d even imagined. This time the shoot was very different. Did she like it, we ask. “I don’t think I’ve ever done something like this for any magazine before. It was more ‘out there’. I like the starkness of the shoot,” she overcomes a slight coyness that runs like a flash through her, as she remembers the shots that lay spread in these pages. “It was a lot of fun.” We have a lot more to ask that’s gonna bring some more colour to her cheeks, but we decide to save it for later, and we break it with work. Intelligent cinema with Sudhir Mishra, light hearted films, item songs, ads... She’s been painting quite a diverse sketch all this time. But we’d definitely want to see more of her. What are the plans? “I’m doing this film with Nawaz, called Bandookbaaz
Kimono: Zara; Bikini: Flirtatious; Lace up sandals: Hemant and Nandita
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E ’V I K N I H T ’T N O D “I EVER DONE SOMETHING
LIKE THIS FOR ANY
MAGAZINE’ BEFORE” that we’ll start shooting for in early June. We hope to finish it by July. It’s a very intense drama, thriller, love story all wrapped in one. Very exciting.” Other than that there’s an untitled film where she plays a Pakistani singer and the story revolves around how she gets caught up in things when Taliban decides that music needs to be banned. But we want to know more about her chemistry with Nawazuddin, the latest badass rodeo of Indian acting. “Nawaz is really amazing. You never know how he’s gonna react in front of the camera in certain situations. You do things a certain way, then he comes and does something totally different. He’s such a true artist. The humility with which he plays the character is just amazing. He never allows himself to get above the character. It’s beautiful to see him perform.” So, this year and the next are going to be full of treats for fans, not just because there are films with Chitrangda in them, but also because she’s finally all set to wear a producer’s tiara. “Yes, I am turning producer. There are two projects right now that we are looking at. One with a story that I very strongly feel about; the scripting for it is complete, and the casting has begun. I have written the story for the other one, but it’s been developed by someone else, because I don’t write the scripts. I think something should definitely happen before the end of this year. We’ll most probably make some fhmindia.com
announcements next month.” We careen off to the memory lane and Chitrangda tells us that while growing up, she was an extremely shy girl. “My brother was an extrovert. He had a lot of friends.” She may have been shy but not an introvert. Being an army kid, she was a regular at clubs, dances and the swimming pools where she was encouraged to have conversations with other kids. “It made me socially independent to interact with people. You only realise how such background opens up your mind once you step out of the restricted circle you’ve grown within. In retrospect I can say that it teaches you to look at things differently,” we’ve definitely hit the very chord of fond memories, as she recounts a lot of memories from childhood. “The swimming pool used to be the most important place. We checked out all the boys there, and compared who was diving from where. There used to be some slightly older girls, who used to come right at 6 o’clock when the pool was full. How we hated them, because they were so much better,” laughs the maker’s muse. It’s hard to believe Chitrangda Singh (no way we could have dropped off the last name here) feeling jealous of older girls fhmindia • fhmindia
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Bodysuit: Koovs
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driving the attention away. It was all meant to be in good time, we guess. We thank the old Gods and the new ( yup, still hung up on GoT ), to find out that she did not follow her original plan of career. “I wanted to be a dietician. But by the time I finished college, I was like, ‘I don’t want to do anything to do with studies.’ Plus, by that time my brother had started playing golf, so I told my parents not to spend any more money on me,” she recalls, rushing to tell us how much she had to study at Lady Irwin College. My sister’s a pass out from Lady Irwin College and happens to have shared the course of study (Food and
Nutrition) with Chitrangda, though a few years apart in the timeline. So, I had heard a lot of stories about the all girls’ college and how pathetic the ragging was. I take a shot. “Are you serious? It used to be horrible. I thought Delhi would be so much nicer with ragging, but, oh was I wrong! At 2 o’clock they would call you out of your rooms and you had to have something like 20 braids, with oil dripping from them.” Did she rag anyone? “I never ragged anyone, not because I was a good person or anything, but who would bloody wake up at 2 in the morning to rag a bunch of scared juniors!” guffaws Chitrangda...
THE IDEA OF HAVING ANYTHING ON ME WHICH I CAN NEVER TAKE OFF... NA! fhmindia.com
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“IF I’M EVER
CAUGHT IN THE ACT I’D SAY I WAS
SLEEP WALKING” People associated with the Indian film industry have to live with this ghost called ‘rumour’. What are the craziest, most absurd rumours you’ve heard about yourself? The craziest one was that I had botoxed my forehead. My makeup artist told me that they thought I have a very flat forehead, so I’ve probably got my forehead botoxed. Why would I botox my damn forehead; I would botox something else (laughs). That was really bizarre. Also that I’ve had a jaw line done. What else have you heard? We’ve heard that you were going out with Sudhir Mishra. Oh yes, that should definitely go in as the most bizarre rumour. This may sound like a cliché but for me he’s far too respectful to get him involved in something so bizarre. What is that one aspect of your personality that you love? It’s a love and hate thing about my personality. I am very passionate about everything I do or say. Even if it’s a drawing room discussion I get too passionately involved. One attitude that I just hate is humko kya farak padta hai. So, even if it’s about politics or anything else, I get involved too much. Sometimes this becomes a disadvantage. But that’s who I am, very passionate and emotional. And I’d like to keep it that way. It’s nice to be vulnerable. The more I see and meet people, the more my belief strengthens that it’s OK to be vulnerable. Sometimes you have to be strong enough to be vulnerable, otherwise it’s easy to shut things around yourself.
Pants: Zara; Bralet: Studio Tia
How about physical attributes? I get told a lot that my eyes and skin colour stand out (smiles). 50
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ARE JUST LIKE
THAT
SOME Ha ve yo u eve r k i ssed o r a l m ost k i ssed a g i rl? No... someone has almost kissed me. But girls don’t do it for me (laughs).
I would never tell my mom about my honest opinions about certain things and certain people in my life (laughs). But she pretty much knows everything.
Ha ve yo u eve r bee n i n a f r i e n d s-wi t h - be n ef i ts s i t u a t i o n? Not as yet. Though, it’s a very cool thing. I think it’s too late now (laughs).
Do yo u h a ve a c ra z y f a n sto r y ? This is the weirdest thing that happened recently. A man from Gujarat sent me a legal thing, where he’s written a will and he’s given everything to me, including a medical store. The entire thing was on a stamp paper. And then he started calling up the security guys in my building saying that he needs my number and that he’d pay them money. Then we finally got the police involved and they spoke to him. It was sweet but it was very bizarre.
W h a t wo u l d yo u d o i f yo u eve r g et ca u g h t i n t h e a c t ? I’d say that I was sleep-walking and I sleepwalked into it (laughs). W h a t ’ s t h a t o n e t h i ng yo u ’d n eve r te l l yo u r m o m?
W h a t so ng best d esc r i bes yo u?
There’s this song called ‘Let it be’ by James Bay. There’s something about the song that describes what I feel. “I’ll be me and you’ll be you...” That’s my favourite song these days. Explains my state of mind at the moment. W h a t d o yo u t h i n k of wh e n yo u ’ re a l o n e i n yo u r ca r ? Too many things (laughs). I’m mostly checking my damn phone. I listen to a lot of songs from the 80s when I’m driving. They bring back a lot of memories. I like the feel of nostalgia. Yo u r f a vo u r i te T V se r i es? House of Cards and Breaking Bad. I think House of Cards has had the best writing on television.
Bodysuit: Hemant and Nandita; Skirt: Vero Moda
What do you do for anger management? I usually have these long conversations with myself in front of the bathroom mirror. Not staring at myself and thinking stuff in my head; it’s always a loud conversation. Sometimes you end up saying very smart things when you’re talking to yourself in the mirror, and that helps. What are you favourite cuss words? It used to be the F word but now I have mellowed it down to frickin’. It’s frickin’ this and frickin’ that. No Hindi words that I use. Audition for an Anurag Kashyap movie next probably, where you can get a vocab updation in Hindi cuss words. Hahaha... It doesn’t come naturally to me. Do you have a tattoo? What’s your take on body art in general? I don’t like tattoos. It’s a very personal thing. I just don’t like the idea of having anything on me which I can never take off. More than that I haven’t found anything that I believe in so much, which I may want on me. What’s your favourite drink? Alcoholic and non alcoholic. I like a good white wine. Usually a Chilean Sauvignon Blanc . Other than that I love cold coffee. It’s like an imperative twice a day. I’ve grown up on cold coffee. Are you a foodie? Nope. Boring... Though I love Thai food. But I’m not somebody who experiments with food. I play very safe with my food, I order the same things every time. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done when drunk? (Laughs). This was in London. I walked in a fhmindia.com
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“WHEN YOUR
ATTITUDE IS YOUR OWN, THAT’S THE
BIGGEST TURN ON” your attitude is your own, that’s the biggest turn on. Is there a phobia or fear that you’d like to conquer? I’m scared of not having the people who I love and care about around me when I need them. Other than that... Bungee jumping, may be. I’ve jumped off an aircraft but I don’t think I can ever do bungee jumping. I have a feeling that it may turn out to be something like a whiplash. Imagine hanging there, dead. It would be horrible (laughs). Are you more of an outdoor person or indoor? What kind of activities do you enjoy the most? Bit of both. But more of an outdoor person than indoor, now that I think about it.
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loo and it was already taken, so of course it was tough finding a seat (laughs). It was crazy. Then, I’ve been in a cab where I kept slipping on the seat and finally was on the floor by the time I reached my hotel. Then I remember coming back to my room and waking up in the morning to find one shoe in the bathroom and one shoe on, the lamp off the table. I thought there was a bear in my room, and then I realised it was me who had done this to the room in the night (laughs).
then of course I’d be like, “Tell me all about it.” (laughs).
What are the five things that men should do to get your attention? Don’t try and get the attention. The right amount of confidence. Over confidence is worse than having no confidence. Be funny and witty. I think if a guy’s sporty that says a lot about him. If you’re a sportsman, or have played some sport in your life... that’s more exciting. If someone starts off a conversation with, “Hey you know I go surfing in Australia,”
Both these likes and dislikes give it up that you’re from an army background. The hatred for baggy jeans, and all... No, the reason why I said that is because a lot of times the baggy jeans come with a very pretentious attitude. I don’t have anything against baggy jeans. But most of the time they watch it in some TV series, figure out it’s just cool to do it... and put them on. I think when
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Five things that turn you off? Bad pair of shoes. There’s something very weird about too long or pointed shoes (laughs). Body odour. Overconfidence. Also, somebody who shows off his money. Basically a show off of any kind. That’s about it. Women don’t want much (laughs). And ya, the right fitting jeans that are not falling off your butt.
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Any hobbies? I do sketching with charcoal. Other than that I’ve been on treks and fishing sprees that I really enjoyed. I did Scuba diving and I thoroughly enjoyed that too the couple of times I did it. What is the most flattering compliment you’ve ever received? It’s a very old compliment that a director gave me when he saw my first film. He said, “You are rare.” And it’s just the way he said it that made all the difference. That was the only line he said. He worked with Smita Patil a lot, and was so moved with my performance that he couldn’t say anything. What do you think of when you hear the following words: Books – time consuming Chihuahua - frivolous Jam – morning school tiffin (laughs) James Blunt – too sweet to like Spanking – kinky (laughs). Still not initiated (laughs) fhmindia.com
TAXIDERMY
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TAXIDERMY
S T E POOF
RESURRECTION GOING BEYOND THE LASER-LIKE PRECISION OF A SURGEON, THESE ARTISTS HAVE BUOYED UP THE ART OF TAXIDERMY TO DEIFIC NORMS. Words: Siddharth M Joshi
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TAXIDERMY
Damien Hirst’s Billy Blue (1991) preserved in formaldehyde
A
ncient scientists and modern philosophers, alike, have spent years trying to capture the essence of the concept of immortality. What happens to the soul post death is a subject of invalidation but the ultimate eventuality of the body is of common knowledge. However, artists have been resurrecting carcasses and infusing new life into them by methods of embalming (religion) and taxidermy (aesthetics) and keeping them ‘alive’ for, what seems like, eternity. Almost with a power of immortality, such artists have risen to prominence in the realms of art and fashion. What gained popularity as a mix of violence, interior design and decor in the Victorian age, has finally entered the domain of fine art. John Hancock, the daddy of modern taxidermy, introduced dramatic elements into his compositions. His The Struggle with the Quarry may have posed as an understructure for many future artists to build on a greater and way more aesthetic exhibition ground on. Anthropomorphic taxidermy carried this a notch up and in the late 19th century Herman Ploucquet displayed mounted animals as if engaged in human activities. Such transcendence of human intelligence into the beast world seems to have anticipated a whole subgenre of animation films. In the modern stretch, Damien Hirst took the art scene with a storm with his elaborate, thought provoking themes and shocking exhibitions. Billy Blue (1991) — the shark preserved in formaldehyde, The promise of money (2003), God knows why (2005) and many others have been recorded as masterpieces already. Several new age artists have put the method under their own subjective scanners and come up with bizarre, gory, peaceful and pragmatic artistic interpretations. We riffled through a range of modern artists from all across the world and got in touch with some of the most talented ones to understand their art and translate the abstract into something more tangible in their own voice.
A painting of John Hancock working on The Struggle with the Quarry (right)
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TAXIDERMY
out FH M: Tell us ab ? nd ou gr your back from New York Kate Clark: I am d I’ve lived in , an and Connec ticut antucket , and it, N ro et D o, ag ic Ch now back in Rome (Italy). I am ng two young isi Brooklyn , NY, ra ll been working fu daughters. I’ve s. ar ye 10 r fo t time as an ar tis ar t. D escribe your sculptures I y m e ak When I m an animal hide nt traditionally mou (like a rm on an animal fo e d), but then plac ul wo ist m er xid ta ce fa a to on al skin the animal’s faci to pted out of clay ul sc ve ha I at th es im et m so I . ures have human feat ve myself that I lie find it hard to be t using the , bu use animal hide skin and al tu ac ’s al im an ng rather than putti transforming it, , is the er th ge to gs in two ar tificial th the concept behind r most important fo in r I use as sk work . The leathe the skin that is the human face mpt imal’s face . I at te an e th d re ve co r fo , in sk of ions to match up sect animal’s eyelids the g in us e, pl am ex nd the humanat and lashes arou ave the fur so th sh I looking eyes . ly, oi e th to te rela the viewer might at we recognise th porous features transformation in our skin . The man is a smooth hu from animal to animal’s face one, having the only in form and t no reflect ours , in also, undeniably, expression, but gh ou th alities . Al its similar skin qu ened existence , ht lig en an ve we ha igin , coexisting we are of wild or
Photography: Jason Mandella fhmindia.com
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TAXIDERMY
with the animal kingdom.
How would you explain what you do with animal carcasses? Fortunately, I don’t have to work with the animal carcass. I can purchase a clean skin/ hide to work with. In fact, the hides I choose are slightly damaged or slightly dry, unwanted by taxidermists who do not want to repair them, especially if the face is the damaged area. I choose to use these hides instead of fresh ones as part of the concept of my work. It’s worthwhile for me to make the repairs and I let them show along with the other transformations I’ve made. Even with slightly damaged areas, the hides are remarkably beautiful in their colouring, details, etc... unlike anything I could make by hand. In making the work I challenge idealised beauty, or the ideal in general. My work could be considered an aberration – combining two things that aren’t usually combined. My effort to transform them into something believable, or at least suspend disbelief, usually results in
Photography: Nicole Cordier
How did you develop a taste in taxidermy, despite having a background in painting? During graduate school my art work became less formal and more conceptual and I started to use taxidermy... not because I loved it or knew anything about it, but instead because it fit my concept: exploring how our facial features evolved to be very communicative, unlike animal features. The work was experimental but when I made my first piece that really resembled the human face, I realised that the ideas it brought up were not only scientific and intellectual but also primal and emotional.
Photography: Katsuhiro Saiki
“ALTHOUGH WE HAVE AN ENLIGHTENED EXISTENCE, WE ARE OF WILD ORIGIN, COEXISTING WITH THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.”
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TAXIDERMY Where all have you displayed your art so far? My work had been displayed all over the United States of America and in Europe... in museums, and corporate and private collections. What has been your inspiration? I am inspired by artists transforming materials in an interesting way — but the inspiration for the concepts in my work had been a combination of the travel, schooling, relationships, and experiences in my life.
Photography: Red Ukachukwu
What does your studio look like? My studio is quite large, messy, active and full of animal sculptures.
the viewer initially resisting the work, but then coming around to find the work irresistible – finding personal meaning in it. What animals do you mostly work on? I only work on mammals and I try to work with larger animals so that the face is human scale or larger.
Photography: Nicole Cordier
What is the most offbeat animal that you’ve worked on? Fortunately I don’t need to use exotic animals because I am changing the animal and making it exotic with my work. I use standard antelope, bear, etc. and try to make the sculpture pull the viewer in with a balance between familiar and unfamiliar. Many viewers have suggested that I take them in a monster-like direction, but I think that would make them easier to dismiss. Instead, I make sure the animal stands or sits in a powerful position, while their faces appear comfortable and casual in their transformation. This adds complexity within the viewer/sculpture relationship — the character in the sculpture is comfortable while the viewer is uncomfortable — until he or she spends the time to find beauty or meaning in the work. What has been your most challenging project till date? I was commissioned by a museum to make an 8 foot Greater Kudu antelope and the face took me five or six tries, finishing it almost to completion and then starting over. I had never worked on that enormous scale.
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FHM: What’s your background? Iris Schieferstein: I am a sculptor and mother of two children. I studied art in Kassel and Berlin. And I have been working with dead animals (road kill) since 1990. Describe your art. Usually I work with dead animals and other materials. But I also make photos, wet preparation objects, as well as sculptural objects and sculptures. How did you develop a taste in taxidermy? During the 80s I was making a lot of photos from dead animals. And I was quite interested in the stuff of Honore Fragonard, the French anatom (the branch of science concerned with the bodily structure of humans, animals, and other living organisms, especially as revealed by dissection and the separation of parts). I was also inspired by different artists, cemeteries, religion... All that together brought me close to this art form. How would you explain what you do with animal carcasses? The same like a usual taxidermist is doing. But in my case it depends on what kind of art work I produce, wet or dry preparation.
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TAXIDERMY What animals do you mostly like to work on? I work on the ones that we eat, shoot or breed, like pigs, horses, cows, chicken, rats, cats, deer, fox, etc. The other ones I use are dead animals protected by the government.
I’M NOT REALLY A DESIGNER. I AM A SCULPTOR. I NEVER STUDIED DESIGN, BUT AT TIMES THE FINE LINE BETWEEN THE TWO STARTS TO FADE AWAY.”
What is the most offbeat animal that you’ve worked on? None, actually. I don’t kill the animals that I use in my art. I pick those that are killed on road or that are almost dead because of old age or sickness. I don’t need any special animals. What has been your most challenging project? Every project is challenging for me. But these days I’m sitting on one called, The Wave, therefore I need thousands of oysters. I’ve been collecting them from restaurants since November last year and still don’t have enough. This wave has to be three to five metres big. So I spend a lot of time cleaning the oysters. That’s a new kind of challenge for me. You are a designer and quite a popular one too. Tell us something more about it. I’m not really a designer. I am a sculptor. I never studied design, but at times the fine line between the two starts to fade away. Some of the objects that I created have somehow turned into fashion objects, but I made them all for my photo work. Where all have you displayed your art so far? Mostly in Europe. But I’ve also exhibited my artwork in the US, Hong Kong, and Japan, etc.
What has been your inspiration in taxidermy? There have been several themes that have motivated me to work towards them. Social, political, the role of the women, globalisation, philosophy… Everything around leaves an impression on me. It’s hard to ignore them. What does your studio actually look like? It’s hard for me to answer that. To me it looks like a simple studio, but for some people it looks like a strange workplace... a little chaotic, with materials as different as bones, heads, fabric, machinery and tables lying all around.
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FHM: What’s your background? Harriet Horton: I’m a British artist living and working in London, UK. At 21 I left University with a degree in philosophy and started to increase my existing fascination with taxidermy. I’m largely self-taught, apart from a few days studying with Scottish taxidermist, George Jamieson. Describe your art. Taxidermy with a contemporary, pop twist. How did you develop a taste in taxidermy? Did your background in philosophy have something to do with your decision? Absolutely! I was, and still am, particularly interested in the origins of ancient Greek aesthetics. My degree was certainly an early development into my work and concept today. When I, initially, set out to study taxidermy, I was really tired of the traditional representation it had. I began experimenting with a few different ideas, always trying to find something both beautiful and respectful. It was combining taxidermy with neon lighting that worked best. I loved how the temperature of the lighting affected the appearance and mood of the animal. It was the aesthetic that I was looking for and now that’s become my signature style. What animals do you mostly work on? As an ethical taxidermist I use animals most widely available to me, which – at present – tend to be UK wildlife. I particularly enjoy doing birds, especially the more popular species that people tend not to ignore. What is the most offbeat animal that you’ve worked on? Nothing too offbeat, but I once had to do a pig which I didn’t particularly enjoy and won’t be repeating. 62
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TAXIDERMY
“TAXIDERMY WILL NEVER LOOK ALIVE, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE. I WANTED MY WORK TO HAVE A SOFTER APPROACH.”
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What has been your most challenging project till date? The most challenging one has to be, definitely, my new body of work for my upcoming solo exhibition in Paris that opens on 27th October. I’m exploring a new relationship between taxidermy and neon to create something different from my previous work. I’ve always said that when animals are deceased their natural colouring and camouflage become redundant. I’ll be experimenting with this idea further by stripping
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animals of their original colouring and reconstructing it with light.
Where all have you displayed your art so far? London and Paris.
Preserving animals as if they’re asleep is an amazingly romantic idea. Tell us more… I often find that when animals are given false eyes they can look terrifying, no matter how good the work is. Taxidermy will never look alive, it’s impossible. I wanted my work to have a softer approach and this really works even when I’m not positioning them ‘asleep’, their eyes are always closed.
What has been your inspiration? My inspiration has always been the urge to remove the macabre, unethical association from the art of taxidermy. What does your studio look like? Always tidy and clean! It’s in an old wool house in East London, so it has a generous ceiling height with all white walls, plenty of plants and my work.
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FHM: Tell us about your background? Kimberly Witham: I grew up in a somewhat rural area. As a child, I had lots of pets and animals (dogs, cats, chickens and my mother kept honey bees). I spent lot of time in the woods and playing outside. Originally, I went to college to study art history. After completing my undergrad degree, I decided to make art rather than write about it. As an art historian I’d been very interested in photography, so I naturally moved in that direction. My love of animals, a background in art history and artistic pursuits all come together in my studio practice. Describe your art. All of the artwork I create is focused on the relationship between humans and the natural world. People often love nature for its beauty but do not enjoy the inconveniences it sometimes 64
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creates. I strive to create images and objects which are seductively beautiful while at the same time disturbing or unsettling. Aesthetically, my work is also informed by my interest in painting and my studies in art history. How did you develop a taste in taxidermy? My interest developed as an extension of my photography practice. I’d been making still life photographs which combined domestic items with road kill animals. Since the animals were dead but not preserved through taxidermy, I had to work quickly. I would make small vignettes with animals, dishes, fabric and other household items and then photograph those vignettes. The photographs were a record of a brief sculptural installation that existed only for my viewing. I realised that I could create permanent 3D manifestations fhmindia.com
TAXIDERMY
“I TRY TO PRESERVE THE ANIMALS IN NATURAL POSES WHILE PLACING THEM IN UNNATURAL SITUATIONS.”
of my still life vignettes by preserving the animals. How would you explain what you do with animal carcasses? When animals are preserved through taxidermy, only the skin is used. The actual body of the animal is removed from the skin. I bury the carcasses in the woods once the animals have been skinned. I try to preserve the animals in natural poses while placing them in unnatural situations. What animals do you mostly work on? Since all of the animals I use are ‘road kill’ I tend to use animals which are common and often hit by cars. Squirrels are by far the most common. What is the most offbeat animal that you've worked on so far? I have preserved two small moles. They are incredibly fragile and REALLY small. What has been your most challenging project? Well, the moles... Juxtaposing animals in still life photography is both intriguing and ironic. Tell us more... There is actually a long history of dead animals in still life imagery. Artists like Jan Weenix and Melchoir DeHondecoeter are two who
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come to mind to illustrate this point. These artists depicted animals after the hunt, as well as, exotic animals collected by wealthy patrons. The images are meant to depict mankind’s dominion over the natural world. In my images, the animals are all by products of mundane roadside accidents. They are evidence of the modern condition and our broken relationship with the natural world. In the series, Domestic Arrangements I play with the notion of the ‘perfect’ suburban house contrasted with the aftermath of our suburban commuter life style (this might be a particularly American problem). Where all have you displayed your art so far? My work has been displayed across the USA and as far away as Australia and the UK. They’ve also been published in several magazines and used as cover illustrations for a number of books. I am represented by a gallery in Boston, Massachusetts. (Gallery Kayafas) What does your studio look like? My studio is rather small. It is an enclosed sun room on the front of my house. It is filled with taxidermied animals, bird nests, preserved insects, dishes, fabrics and other domestic items. It has big windows and beautiful light. June 2016
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TYCHO
I
t was a regular Sunday afternoon at the gates of the iconic Mehboob Studio in Mumbai, where cars played petty hide and seek with a concrete round-about that Mumbaikars infamously call gol chakkar. I was a tad sceptical at the venerable silence of the entrance. An impressive line-up of performances just didn’t complement such a dull exterior. I had a slot to interview Scott Hansen, the man behind the American ambient music project, Tycho, who was to perform here later in the evening. Was I up for some major disappointment or had I read the message wrong? I checked my phone and my heart sank. I was at the right place, on the right date at the f*cking right time. Then why was everything so bloody quiet? There was no other way to find out but to enter, which I did... only to realise that the gate was something of a worm hole that sucked me into another dimension; one that had thousands of people inside, all ready to rock. “I don’t have a huge understanding of Indian music, but this is gonna get into an opportunity to get here and learn... and see what’s going on. But from what I’ve heard there’s a big electronic music scene here at present,” Hansen told me as we settled down on a couch in a small room adjacent to the stage they were about
to perform on. My first question was about his comprehension of the music scene in India. There were large speakers playing electronic music while most ringtones we heard around from the security crew strummed Hindi songs. And what about the classical music? A lot of bigwigs had crossed over to the West in the face of immense popularity, after all. “Are you talking about people like Ravi Shankar? There’s not a lot of scope to explore that in the US, at least now. There were some Eastern influences in the 60s. Now there are some influences in trance music, but that’s all a very appropriated version of it. I am yet to listen to purer versions. Most of the stuff that makes sense to me has been watered down a lot by the time it reaches me,” and he let out a smile that was both apologetic and honest. I found a suppressed guilt in my own question as despite its origin, growth and development classical music has coiled up within bright nooks that even Indians hardly explore anymore. I decided to give Indian music a pass and move on. Tycho essentially captures the sound of lo-fi analog media, which lets the music stay very organic without distortions and noisy beats. But how does someone compose music without lyrics? Isn’t it difficult to create an instrumental piece without words lending it a theme? “I don’t
CAPTURED SCOT FREE
FHM GETS UP AND CLOSE WITH THE PRIMARY COMPOSER, SONGWRITER AND PRODUCER OF THE BAND, TYCHO — SCOTT HANSEN, AT THEIR FIRST LIVE PERFORMANCE IN THE SUBCONTINENT. WORDS: SIDDHARTH M JOSHI
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TYCHO
“Electronic music can be very stark and cold if it doesn’t have any human element.” know. I don’t have anything to compare it with. Lyrics don’t come naturally to me, so it’s not like the lyrics are dying to come out. I don’t think there’s any language attached to music.” I’d read this about Mick Jagger that he just hummed or made nonsense words while writing the melody first and later attached words to it. “Yes, I find that interesting. With all due respect to everyone, that’s also my approach. I don’t think their job’s easy (who go words first), it’s just a different way of approaching.” But as a writer I tend to create something out of nothing by going about a single idea and following a logical pattern of thoughts. How does a musician think? Incidentally, Scott did a lot of creative writing in his college himself, so he understood what I meant. “For me too it’s an experimental process where it’s like starting with a pretty simple idea and slowly building on it. And sometimes when you look back at it you go like, ‘Wow! That’s pretty complex,’ and you realise that it was just in the moment and inspiration where a lot of things happened at once. But in general it’s all about the process and just slowly building this thing that ends up being greater than some of its parts. But really it’s all these little ideas put together that do the trick.” 68
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So, is it like sewing together all those ideas to create something? “It’s usually just kind of messing around with the guitar or a keyboard and saying, ‘Oh that sounds cool.’ There’s always an emotional space that’s informed and finds what’s happening. It’s not like I’m trying to channel to specific things or ideas. It
somehow seems more difficult to me to take an idea and translate it into music. I just proceed to creating something as I go with the flow and improvise it... that seems a lot easier,” answers Scott, still seemingly lost in thoughts. Interestingly, Scott was a professional graphic designer and music came to him as a fhmindia • fhmindia
gradual realisation rather than an urgent passion. He learnt music backwards... technology, samplers and the jam machines first, and then instruments like the keyboard, guitar and the engineering bit. His genre is post-rock. “You know, most of the time people use it, including me, because it’s easier to describe where the music fits. But I don’t think it really fits in a particular genre because it borrows a lot from several styles. For me, the music is formed by the kind that I listen to a lot... Rock. It’s through the prism of electronic music, which is how I came into making music.” So, it’s more about taking that rock music influence and playing it through electronic style. Despite being progressive and futuristic in composition and style, the band reminds me a lot of old bands like The Beatles and Pink Floyd in the sense of all the human elements that find their way in their music, even though without words. People mumbling things here and there, sometimes just gibberish, breathing, or simple weather reports read out. Is it an influence or just two creative sets of minds thinking alike? “Oh there’s an influence, there’s definitely an influence of The Beatles. I think everybody on earth is a huge fan of them. There’s was actually the first album that I owned (it was fhmindia.com
TYCHO
“It’s through the prism of electronic music that I came into making music.”
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given to me), when I was eight. Then I’d been listening to my dad’s records and that obviously got ingrained. And a lot of other things too influenced me,” says Scott, visibly excited. “In general, electronic music can be very stark and cold if it doesn’t have any human element. And you use devices like that (human elements) to bring something organic and relatable to people and, in a way, make it cinematic. I’m always trying to set this scene or paint a picture in creative space that if they use this space they can use these connecting elements in an otherwise very abstract space.” Ever thought of collaborating with ethnic sounds? I ask him. The sound crew has signalled him for sound check. I’m afraid he’d grow impatient and would want to leave. To my relief he signals back that he’d be there soon. “I guess I just don’t have a lot of access to that kinds stuff. I don’t know anyone who plays the Sitar or the jambe. That kind of stuff always interests me and I think I will find my way to it, though.” Clearly right now he’s still trying to carve out a space for what he originally envisioned for. Now that we have some more time at hand I ask about his personal taste in music. “Mostly rock, postrock and psychedelic. I listen to lot of traditional rock music, like the 70s type. There are a lot of bands doing their own versions of music from that time that I listened a lot during my teenage and growing up years. So, it’s always good to listen to that.” As if in a stream of consciousness Scott continues that there’s a component to life and to the human experience that is intangible and that nobody’s been able to nail down. And that’s a pretty big influence in his work. “That other space that I can’t seem to find and locate, I think music is the only way to translate it...” This is his first trip to India. Is he liking it? “A lot. It’s been amazing. I’ve been here only a couple of days but we have a day after the show to explore a little bit more. It’s not much time but I’d definitely want to come back for more.” With escorts, literally over our heads now, to take him to the stage I know this is all I can squeeze out of the quiet man. Just as I shake hands with him for a short but intense conversation, he leans over and says, “You know, music started as a hobby for me. Another hobby of mine is photography. I just couldn’t imagine travelling to India without a camera. Let me send you my favourite picture from the trip.” He did send me one. And guess what, I’m in it. June 2016
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PARTY IN
ARR PASCUAA L
SOUTH ASIA ARRA PASCUAL
A L L T H E W AY F R O M T H E P H I L I P P I N E S , A R R A P A S C U A L I S T H E H OT T E S T D J I N S O U T H E A S T A S I A . S H E G I V E S U S T H E LO W D O W N O N T H E H I G H L I F E B E Y O N D B A N G K O K . P H OTO G R A P H Y: FA B I O LO R E N ZO , A R I S I M A N GA N & D O O K I E D U CAY
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ARRA L PASCUA
ARRA’S DREAM VENUES
- White Dubai; - Octagon; - Zouk, Kuala Lumpur; Singapore - Zouk; Japan - Ageha; Vietnam - Sailing Club, Nha Trang. UAE Korea Malaysia
GO BEYOND PHUKET
Siargao Puka Beach Naked Beach Black Rocks MIA Resort beach front Anywhere in the Maldives
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Philippines Boracay Dakak Canggu, Bali Nha Trang, Vietnam
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ARRA L PASCUA
BE A MAN, CHOW DOWN
Balut Frog legs Foie Gras Crocodile meat Isaw Lengua
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-
(A bird embryo) (Tastes like chicken) (Duck liver) (Cultured baby meat) Grilled chicken intestines Beef tongue
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ARR PASCUAA L
TRASH THAT PINA COLADA
Skye, Manila Chill Sky Bar, Vietnam Sailing Club, Nha Trang Potato Head Beach Club, Bali Potato Head, Bali Brick House, Hong Kong
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-
Skye Special; Ask for Greg, the GM; Mojito; Espresso Martini; 24 Karat Martini; Cubano (a feast for the tastebuds!).
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CUT A DASH
GROW A BEARD Gone are the days when girls liked those clean shaven chikna, boyband look alikes. Beards are now the epitome of masculinity, sexiness and charm that no clean shaven man can hope to compete with.
THERE’S A SPECIAL RELATION BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS BEARD, A COMMITMENT WHICH IS VERY CLOSE TO HIS HEART. EVEN HOGWARTS WASN’T UNTOUCHED BY THE CHARM OF BEARDS (STRIKE ANY BELLS, POTTERHEADS?). SO HERE ARE A FEW TIPS FROM OUR ‘BEARD EXPERT’ ON HOW TO GROW, AND MAINTAIN THOSE FACIAL HAIR. Words: Shivanshu Nirupam
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Beard shaping has suddenly become a rage among youngsters. How do you see it evolving? Definitely! These days, with the right shaping, full beards can be as stylish and groomed as a clean shaven face or a stubble. But, that’s because men these days are open to experimenting with their looks. They have crossed the barrier of being a ‘stereotypical man’. Also, these days the markets are flooded with beard washes, conditioners and oils which make full beards more comfortable, manageable and attractive. Cleansing and conditioning facial hair keeps it soft, healthy and trendy.
laser surgery done? Chances are rare, if it is done by a good dermatologist.
Yes, there are plenty of products available in the market which help in obtaining a thicker beard.
How many sittings are required to get through the laser process? Will one be able to shave or trim hair between two sitting dates? Usually by seven to eight sittings, 60-80 per cent of the hair is reduced.
What is the most bizarre request you’ve ever got when it comes to beard shaping? Once, a guy came with a photo of Bryan Adams and wanted to get permanent hair reduction for beard in the same fashion. Many a times, young boys come and say that they are not willing to wait for a year and are willing to go through cosmetic surgery to get rid of unwanted growths. So, we really have to counsel them that such things happen only in TV soaps. In reality, it’s better to have patience.
How many customers do you get on a daily basis? We get approx eight to 10 such cases per month, and it has been over three to four years that this trend has been building. The frequency is increasing day by day.
What is the safest surgical method that you recommend for beard shaping? It depends whether an individual wants to get excess hair removed or he requires hair transplantation. For removal, we do it through lasers and for transplantation we do it through PRP procedure.
What are the most popular beard trends currently? These days people either come and ask for a ‘Ranveer Singh style’ or a ‘Virat Kohli look’... the latest role models. Every style doesn’t suit everyone. So how do you determine what suits whom? There’s no hard and fast rule to determine what suits whom. Ideally, beards should not cover cheeks. Beyond that, it doesn’t matter if they have a French, long or a short beard. Also, you should have a haircut that compliments your beard style. People are opting for surgical methods to get their beards shaped... isn’t that a bit risky? Not really! Thanks to the best of machines and products that are available these days, surgery isn’t risky anymore. Are surgical methods suitable for every skin? Are they okay to be used on sensitive skin? Definitely! Surgical methods are safe, provided you get it done from a certified dermatologist or a cosmetic surgeon. What are the chances of hair not growing back after getting
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What if the skin gets exposed to sun after the procedure? Is it prone to sunburns or infections? No, it doesn’t happen!
How much does it cost? The costs may vary between `35,000 to `50,000 for hair transplant and `10,000 per session of PRP. What are the most expensive surgical methods? It depends if the person wants hair removal or hair growth; and also on the density of his facial hair. What are the precautions to be taken after getting laser done? With the best laser machines used, there are no precautions required. Is laser treatment a one time process or does it have to be repeated after some time? Depends on where you get it done from and the kind of machines used. Is there same laser treatment for thin and thick beard? No, for thick hair we use Diode laser removal and for thin, we use Alexandrite. Are there any particular methods which can make your beard thicker or longer?
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Are not-so-hairy men going in for hair transplantation for better beard growth? Is it really worth giving a shot? Yes, since it’s a fad amongst youngsters to have a beard, they often opt for hair transplantation and PRP for growth. These are opted by men who have no or very little hair. Usually Sikh men come because they have to sport a beard along with a turban, especially during their weddings. So, it’s very common. Not many dermatologists in India are experienced with beard shaping, as it is pretty new to Indian fashion. Are there any specific qualifications that are required for it? Yes, one should go to a certified dermatologist or a cosmetic surgeon only, to avoid any complications. For how long are you not allowed to use any creams or body lotions on your face after getting the laser done? Anywhere between five to 15 days should be enough, post the surgery. Any after care tips? Nope. Hardly any after care or precautions are required. Doctors have turned into stylists, shaping beards, eyebrows and all. What do you have to say… I agree, but what to do.... that’s the ongoing demand (smiles).
June 2016
Inputs from: Dr Rohit Batra, Dermatologist, Dermaworld Skin Clinic and Sir Gangaram Hospital, New Delhi.
TO HELP YOU BETTER, WE GOT A BEARD EXPERT ANSWER SOME OF THE MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS. HERE’S WHAT HE HAD TO SAY:
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OBJECT
OF
DESIRE
The KiraVan Expedition System is comprised of a highly modified Unimog-based tractor, a fully custom composite trailer, and turbodiesel motorbike.
Kira Van
TRACTOR T
he KiraVan tractor is a modified Mercedes-Benz Unimog U500NA with a 6-cylinder in-line 260HP high-efficiency intercooled turbo-diesel engine providing 700ft-lb of torque.
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Kira Van
TRAILER
I
t is normally connected to the tractor and can share power, pneumatics, hydraulics, networks and communications. However, it is also fully capable of operating independently as base station when the tractor isn’t connected.
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Cherry
Pick your
Still thinking how to get her sloshed in one glass? Or what cocktail to drink on your pet’s funeral? Our cocktail guru tells all... Words: Shivanshu Nirupam
FHM: Tell us about the Monkey shoulder and how it’s made. Dean: Monkey shoulder is a blended malt. It’s a blend of three different single malts. Traditionally, if you’re making a whisky blend, you take a grain whisky (very light in flavour), which makes the base of your whisky and then you add single malt to it. But with monkey shoulder, we add only single malts. So it’s 100% malt and no grain. A guy wants to impress a girl by
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the bar. What cocktail should he order? If I was ordering a whisky cocktail to impress a lady, I’d go for an Artist’s Special. It’s got scotch whisky, dry sherry, fresh lemon juice, redcurrant syrup, and if you want you may add a little soda into it. Or if you want to give it an Indian flavour, you may add a little rose syrup. How to order cocktails like a boss? I think the number one thing to do is
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find a cocktail that you like. Suppose you like an old fashioned; taste the cocktail in all the good bars of the city. Each bar should be able to make you a classic. If you drink the same drink in different bars of the city, you will get to know that there are different ways to make the same cocktail and you start to become an expert in that cocktail. Then you make it at home as well because when you’re ordering a cocktail that you know how to make, then you’re ordering with confidence. And when
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you order with confidence, you order like a boss. What cocktail can get you drunk in just one glass. Ugh, that’s dangerous (laughs). I guess it would be a Sazerac . It’s got Absinthe, sugar, whisky or cognac and three dashes Peychaud’s bitters. How to be a cocktail guru? I think the first and the foremost thing would be to realise that no matter how much you study, it’s impossible to know all the drinks. So if you want to be a guru, confidence is the key and to be truly confident, you need to know that you can’t know everything. If somebody tells you of a cocktail that you don’t know, be confident to say, “I’ve never heard of it.” Don’t pretend to know. But make sure that the ones you do know, you know them well. You may as well pick up a book about cocktails, read about them, taste them in the different bars and learn how to make them, picking one cocktail at a time. With time, it starts to get addictive.
times, that the little girl spoke all of a sudden, ‘bartender!!’ She said it as clear as day! So that’s one of the most memorable moments for me. That wasn’t weird though. That’s kinda cute! Yes! Everybody was so excited and kept asking her to say it again. But when the parents realised that the first word that came out of her mouth was ‘bartender,’ (which they realised not before ten minutes or so), they were a little disappointed (laughs).
Tell us about your weirdest moment behind the bar. Well, this happened to me while I was working at a bar in Hamilton Islands, on the Great Barrier Reef. It was a wedding actually. So there was a little girl, 7-8 months old, who hadn’t even spoken her first words yet; no mama, no dada. She was sitting with her mom by the bar, who wasn’t drinking but wanted to keep the baby entertained so that she wouldn’t cry while I’m behind the bar, throwing bottles around, trying to entertain everybody. There were other little kids too, since it was a family wedding. So the parents kept saying to them, “look at the bartender, hey kids, look at the bartender.” And they said it so many
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Wandering for wellness Location: Yoga Chakra, Greater Kailash 2; Wardrobe: Flirtatious India; Hair and make up: Magnifique Salon
Jia Singh
with
Travel, fitness and food blogger, Jia tells us that fitness isn’t about six pack abs or fitting into that old jeans in your closet! It’s about feeling healthy from within! Polina Schapova
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Location: Lodhi Garden Wardrobe: Aeropostale India
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A daily yoga and meditation therapy will definitely help elevate your mood and ease you into daily life. Speak to an Ayurveda consultant about herbs like Ashwagandha and Brahmi that have a positive effect on mood, particularly helpful with anxiety and depression. These herbs have no side effects and can also promote restful sleep. As far as food habits go, avoid eating anything processed and with too much sugar to avoid blood sugar fluctuation. Eat meals at regular intervals and don’t keep long gaps between your meals. Try and consume something in every three hours or so. Snack mindfully like almonds, pomegranate, fox nut (makhana), walnuts and roasted chickpeas. Joining a gym or participating in a group sports activity will really help improve your mood and release endorphins (feel happy chemicals).
Hi, Rahul. To start with, you should try and engage in some form of physical activity 4-5 times a week for 30-40 minutes a day. You could swim or enrol yourself into a gym and hire a trainer. I would recommend that your daily diet must consist of fruits, vegetables, healthy fats like nuts, seeds and less starchy veggies and carbs. Sample diet that you may follow: Breakfast - Oatmeal with flaxseed and one cup of coffee. Lunch - It can be brown rice and veggies, or grilled chicken breast with vegetables. Or quinoa salad with chicken. Dinner – It should be the lightest meal of our day. A 4 egg white-stuffed omelette with spinach or sprout salad. Or grilled chicken with a salad.
I AM IN MY LATE 30S AND SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY ATTACKS. HOW CAN YOGA HELP? WILL CHANGING MY FOOD HABITS HELP IN ANYWAY? Chiranjiv Rajoura – Pune
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I HAVE BEEN OBESE SINCE CHILDHOOD AND AM NOW IN MY EARLY 20S. CAN YOU RECOMMEND A SUITABLE DAILY WORKOUT/DIET REGIMEN? I’M 5FT 6 AND WEIGH 113KG. Rahul Bose – Delhi
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Wardrobe: Aeropostale India
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You should definitely work with a physiotherapist and chiropractor, but yoga and swimming, done under supervision, will really help strengthen and tone your body. Swimming is a non-weight bearing exercise and is very gentle on joints and the body post injury or trauma.
Yes, it’s natural, but if it is accompanied by discolouration or itching and bleeding, you should see a dermatologist to check for fungal infections or psoriasis. I highly recommend cold pressed coconut oil. Rub some on your hands and dry areas before you go to bed at night and in the morning, post your shower. In a few weeks, the peeling and scaling should reduce and your skin will start to heal.
RECENTLY I HAD A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT THAT LEFT ME BED-RIDDEN FOR THREE MONTHS. I HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH A PHYSIOTHERAPIST BUT WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE FOR STRENGTHENING MY HIPS AND UPPER LEGS? Sachin Gehlot – Rohtak
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EVERY TIME THE WEATHER CHANGES, THE SKIN ON MY HANDS STARTS PEELING. IS THIS NATURAL? HOW CAN I AVOID THIS? Akshaye Khanna – Gwalior
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Sports Bra: H&M; Bottom: KOOVS India
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LA MAKANEOW
SUS
What kind of profile picture
works?
When it comes to your profile picture on Tinder, I feel like it’s super crucial to put your strongest foot forward and make sure you choose wisely. I would suggest staying away from stupid selfies... Guys who are into taking selfies, turn me off for some reason. Smiling is cool. Somewhat candid looking profile pics can be good. Just no shirtless profile pics please!
W H O ’S SHE? From: San Francisco Age: 26 Facebook: www.facebook.com/ makluv Twitter: @MakaelaSusnow Instagram: @makaelasusnow
MAKAE
SUSNOWLA
HOW TO
SCORE
A CHICK
ON TINDER Now that you have a new match on Tinder, wanna know how to score with her? (Don’t tell us you’re looking for a relationship there!) Makaela is here to help you get laid in 6 easy steps! Words: Sudhakar Jha Photography: Michael Moore
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LA MAKANEOW
SUS
What is the best way to write the
‘About me’ section?
I would say, keep it short and sweet, and straight to the point. Definitely do not write a bunch of boring shit. Nobody wants to read your whole life story. Don’t bore people with irrelevant info. Maybe, say something about your career or goals in life. Another winner is keeping it casual with saying something that is funny.
MAKAE
SUSNOWLA
How to start a
conversation?
Out of the box and funny comments always catch attention of us girls... Hearing something that is original is refreshing too. And at the very least, a foot-in-the-door communication tactic might work wonders, and possibly become a great conversation starter.
LA MAKANEOW
SUS
How to keep her
engaged?
Ask her questions that aren’t the same she’s heard a million times before. And at all times, make her feel like she’s the focal point of the conversation. Everyone wants to feel like they are important.
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MAKAE
SUSNOWLA
When to cross the thin line from being a gentleman to a flirt? I am a fan of that thin line personally. Be a gentleman and be a flirt at the same time. If you can master that, then you will strike gold every single time.
LA MAKANEOW
SUS
How to finally
score?
Take her out for shopping and buy her some sexy lingerie to spark the mood. Then work your magic, and then... just go in for the kill.
LONGING FOR THE LONG BAR AT HYATT REGENCY, GURGAON
T
he Long Bar is the latest entrant in the food and beverage offerings at Hyatt Regency, Gurgaon. Adjacent to the vibrant Kitchen District, the bar houses a premium range of spirits and an eclectic selection of creative cocktails. A wide range of perfect bite-size international and local delicacies have been created to accompany each drink. The long and sleek counter of the bar lends a hint of residential feel while being an enticing spot for guests to meet and socialise. With tastefully done interiors, foot tapping entertainment nights and lip smacking snacking options, this is a spot for the who’s who of Delhi/NCR and discerning travellers from all over. Spread across 123 sq. ft, it has a counter capacity of 30, in addition to a lounge capacity of 28. It features a modern bar with two-mirrored beverage work stations located on opposite sides of
the counter and a combination of comfortable lounge seating. A large temperature controlled floor to ceiling wine display cabinet separates the restaurant, Kitchen District, from the bar area. Integrating unique and exceptional design features, the Long Bar also comes equipped with a Japanese ice ball maker, which prepares 65mm spherical ice balls that the experienced bartenders use in their presentations. The Long Bar houses a selection of over 100 wines, many of which are served by the glass. It focuses on serving premium wines and a selection of the finest cocktails prepared by skillful bartenders, using the freshest ingredients available. To compliment the drinks, Long Bar offers an array of appetizers. Whether you prefer a cold platter with fresh crunchy snacks, chicken or a hot spread of arancini, paninis, spring rolls or yakitori grills, the bar menu doesn’t let you down.
At 60ft, it’s the longest bar in the city. Relaxing, yet vibrant, it serves a premium selection of beverages by skillful bartenders.
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9 THINGS YOU NEVER REALLY GOT OVER.
09 Any cult box set
05
FARTING AROUND AT UNIVERSITY University is the only time in life you can get away with being a tit without any real consequences. Unless you go to JNU. Relive those halcyon days by not doing any work, getting so drunk that you’re sick in your sleeve, then enjoying copious risk-free sex with strangers you meet in kebab shops.
Did you have to take a few days’ sick leave from work after Breaking Bad ended? Sounds like you need help. We prescribe a hearty dose of Netflix and a special dispensation from Johnny Rockets.
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YOUR FIRST LOVE You’ve not even seen her since you were 14, but then… boom! There she is on LinkedIn’s ‘People you may know’ – and you’re endorsing her for skills such as ‘having an adorable laugh’ and ‘smelling like a spring meadow’.
07
YOUR CHILDHOOD DOG Mums... we know you mean well, but when you tag us in pictures of long-perished family pooches in Facebook, you might as well put shards of glass in our tea. That’s how much pain you’re causing.
06
PUBS BEING PUBS Isn’t it nice that you can now enjoy your pint of Hoegaarden without fear of being punched or getting instant cancer from second-hand smoke? We do sometimes mourn the loss of the traditional disgusting Indian drinking dens, especially in Kerala, but with all these alcohol bans, those centres of debauchery might just return.
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June 2016
04
COMPLETING ANY COMPUTER GAME Ah, that was satisfying, wasn’t it? Finishing a game gives you that nice warm shudder. But hang on, what’s filling those lonely nights now? What the hell awaits you on Saturday afternoon? India’s Got Talent repeats? Washing all your towels? Good God, no. Get yourself on Amazon to fill that void right away, son.
03
YOUR DAD’S MARUTI SUZUKI 800 Sure, it was just a car, but no one can really forget India’s best-
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selling ride till the last decade. Maruti Suzuki 800’s departure left a dinky-car sized gap on the nation’s streets. India’s first indigenous car carried many memories of family vacations and clandestine dates... yeah!
02
YOUR OLD BAND All good things must come to an end. Just like when Slash left Guns ‘n’ Roses there were more than a few tears shed when your pop-punk group announced an indefinite hiatus on Myspace. Maybe it’s time to get the old band back together for one last show?
01
YOUR ENDURING AFFAIR WITH THE ‘HAND’ The grand old party, the Indian National Congress, is no more the behemoth it used to be. Founded in 1885, the INC was in power for almost 60 years till the Gandhi family and their yes-men took a beating at the 2014 general elections. e Se t you nex... month
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INDIA EDITION VOL 9 ISSUE 07
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