January 19, 2012 by 34th Street Magazine

January 19, 2012 34st.com

Y L L I PH

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

january 19

Zoe Strauss's Billboards

2012

3 HIGHBROW

the round–up, word on the street, overheards, dispatches.

4 EGO

ego of the week, what your seat says about you

6 Dim Some More

6 FOOD & DRINK

best breakfast joints, breakfast recipes

8 FEATURE

our favorite spots in philly

10 MUSIC

predictions for 2012, reviews, concerts of the week

11 FILM

pondering john goodman, review, netflix instant watch of the week

12 ARTS

zoe strauss's billboards, tac-e profiles

14 LOWBROW

rush euphemisms and faux pas

According to the Mayan calendar, this is the last first Writers' Meeting of the year. Don't miss it!

TONIGHT AT 6:30 4015 WALNUT STREET

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

BACKPAGE

coming back from abroad

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Elizabeth Horkley, Editor–in–Chief Joe Pinsker, Managing Editor Adrian Franco, Online Managing Editor Hilary Miller, Design Editor Chloe Bower, Design Editor Zeke Sexauer, Associate Design Editor Paige Rubin, Highbrow Zacchiaus Mckee, Highbrow Faryn Pearl, Ego Ali Jaffe, Ego Tucker Johns, Food & Drink Nina Wolpow, Food & Drink Colette Bloom, Feature

Leah Steinberg, Feature Sam Brodey, Music Frida Garza, Music Daniel Felsenthal, Film Alex Hosenball, Film Ellie Levitt, Arts Megan Ruben, Arts Anthony Khaykin, Lowbrow Sandra Rubinchik, Lowbrow Alexa Nicolas, Backpage Lauren Reed–Guy, Copy Ben Lerner, Copy Patrick Del Valle, Copy

34st.com Inna Kofman, Online Editor Patrick Ford–Matz, Online Editor Elena Gooray, Online Editor Katie Giarla, Online Editor COVER DESIGN: CHLOE BOWER AND HILARY MILLER

Contributors: Laura Francis

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Elizabeth Horkley, Editor-–in–Chief, at horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898-6585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581. VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "There were no funny things said this week." ©2011 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

APPROVAL MATRIX

POST–BREAK DEPRESSION

Think you went somewhere cool for break? We’ll be the judge of that. Check out our approval matrix to see how your vacation measures up. Spoiler alert: your trip to Mexico wasn’t as cool as you thought it was. vacation in Europe w/ sister's creepy fiance

EXOTIC getting drunk in Mexico…with your parents

Alternative Winter Break

New Year's at club downtown

prepping for OCR

holiday party w/ distant relatives

skiing in Aspen

New Year's in friend's basement

BANAL

THEROUNDUP

Netflixing all day errday

over heard PENN at

Theos upperclassman: So, I ask every rush here if they want a bid. They say yes. I say fuck you. Girl in Houston: It’s always good to keep a few spoons in your purse. You never know! Guy 1: If you had the opportunity to have sex with pregnant Beyonce or… Guy 2: YES! Sorority girl: By the way, I can’t do Twitter. I’ve tried. I just can’t. Girl in 2 p.m. class: I don’t wanna be drunk anymore. Blonde girl: You have a deep voice for your face.

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

Welcome back to Penn, dear friends. To those abroad last semester, welcome back to America. We hope for your sake that the accent you picked up fades soon. Highbrow acquired one of our own over break, so be sure to read the following scandalous stories in a heavy German accent. Danke! Rush is almost over! Sorority girls survived endless chatter and cloying songs, and frat guys survived the massive amounts of alcohol they were encouraged to consume. Congrats! Though not a frat or a sorority, we hear Tabard gave out bids this past week with all the rest of them. But to their surprise, their rushes weren’t falling all over themselves to accept their offers. Quite the contrary actually, as the society had to give out a second round of bids to second–rate girls to make up for everyone who had turned them down. Guess the girls are finally realizing that all that hazing isn’t worth admission to a glorified mini-Theta. Oh well. SAE tried and failed to bring their rushes to Atlantic City this past Friday. After driving two hours on chartered buses packed with drunken boys and scantily–clad girls, the group arrived at the hotel where they had booked two suites, only to be told to drive back home. It turns out that after one rush vomited in the lobby, hotel security figured out the frat’s plans and unceremoniously canceled their reservation. Better luck next year, boys. But SAE wasn’t the only one to get the boot this past weekend. After their rush date party, we hear one St. A’s boy was hooking up with his date and requested that she put her boots back on. He proceeded to lick and kiss the weirded–out girl’s shoes, but not the insoles because, as he put it “they are dirty.” Yuck. Excuse us while we go take a shower. Speaking of showers, one junior girl at Soiree on Sunday decided she couldn’t make it to the bathroom and peed on a Palmer chair instead. Although she thought the plush material would soak up her little accident, she was left with a huge wet spot and had to flee the scene. This leaves us all with the burning question: what did she use to wipe? Till next week…

AWESOME

AWFUL

skiing in Aspen w/ no internet connection

vacation in Europe

By Patrick Ford–Matz ’m only a freshman, but newborn and noobish as I may be, I like to think I’ve figured some things out about this place. One of those very few things I know for sure is how almost nothing feels better than coming back to Penn. Where else does unrelenting intellectual stimulation meet heavy drinking at the corner of 36th and Walnut, right next to where that homeless man is lounging on a bench and a Greenpeace advocate is calling you a dick for ignoring him? But really, one of the other things I know for sure about Penn is to always pretend to be on the phone when you’re passing a Greenpeace advocate. But there’s trouble in Pennadise. There’s something oddly disconcerting beneath the sheen of returning to our little haven of personalized shot glasses and moleskin notebooks that you bought to doodle/pontificate in for a couple pages or so. We ignore that ugly little feeling because, well, it’s homesickness, and homesickness is for refugees and invasive species and ten–year–olds taking their first shots at sleep–away camp. But you miss your mom’s cooking. You miss wailing out the lyrics to “Someone Like You” in your car. You definitely didn’t miss that off–putting smell that wafts over you the first time you set foot back in the Quad, and your feet aren’t too glad to be reunited with those ugly, bright orange shower flip–flops. Part of you feels like it might as well just keep on raining, you might as well tear into that third Boston Market “Hearty Serving!” frozen meal, and you may as well just stay in your bed…even if it’s not as comfortable as the one you left behind. I know I’m being dramatic, but I’m a freshman, and I reserve the right to be dramatic. Maybe it’s my fresh–meat status giving rise to all this undue anxiety in the first place. After all, I am a refugee. An invasive species. A ten–year–old taking my first shot at sleep–away camp. I’m between homes, having left the nest behind and not yet totally acclimated to my new surroundings. But however present that post–break depression might be, it’s always stifled by the third and final thing I really do know about Penn: I love it here. Sure, I’m being cheesy. But I went to a public high school and got a little choked up when my mom told eight–year–old me I was too old for Sesame Street, so I reserve that right too. Here’s the bottom line: the more I think about it, the more this post–break depression seems like just another side effect of the freshman condition. I’ll say it again—I love it here. And I look forward to the moment I realize my post–break depression has suddenly, in a puff of red and blue smoke, become post–semester depression, and I can’t wait to leave Adele, my bed, and my mom’s excellent cooking behind.

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

wordonthestreet

HIGHBROW

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

EGO

EGO OF THE WEEK: MICHAEL ROBERTS This Penn Course Review Editor-in-chief and Dean's Advisory Board member proves that boys can rock nose jobs, too. Street: You went to Riverdale High School. Do you consider yourself a Betty or a Veronica? Michael Roberts: Veronica, maybe? I just never liked Betty.

and they say things to me awkwardly, or the teacher looks at me all the time because I do like to talk a lot. So I’d rather sit in the back.

Street: I thought everyone liked Betty. She’s an AllAmerican sweetheart. MR: And I never liked Archie. I’m not a ginger.

Street: So are you sitting in the back for the benefit of your classmates? MR: I do it for the benefit of the Penn students…you can hear the sarcasm in that, right?

Street: My Penn Card looks like _______ MR: I was posing for a modeling commercial. It’s from graduation, and my advisor awkwardly told me I looked like an actor in it. Yeah, it’s a little up–close and personal.

Street: If you could create a class and teach it, what would it be? MR: Probably something that involves many, many different disciplines. I get distracted very easily, so I get involved in a lot of things at Penn.

Street: If you were in a class, where would you sit? MR: I always sit in the back, because I’m 6’2”, so sitting in the front, I either block people

Street: What would the Penn Course Review of that class be? MR: It’d be great. And I would write it.

Street: What’s your favorite word? MR: Cosmopolitan? It’s worldly, it’s pretentious. People don’t really know what it means so they have to look it up after you talk to them. Street: What’s your New Year’s Resolution? MR: To try wakeboarding, or windsurfing. Street: I broke my nose wakeboarding. MR: Really? I’ve actually had a nose job. Street: Wait, tell us more! MR: It was the week before I got into Penn. I was playing basketball and I wasn’t really paying attention. One of my friends who was guarding me like, swung his elbow and knocked my nose off. I went to

hummus grill 34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

make it a feast!

the plastic surgeon, and they had to fix it to be normal. Street: Did you change the shape of your nose? MR: Before it was better, I could tell you that. Now it’s not that great. Street: You’re stuck on a desert island and all you have is a physical, gigantic copy of the Penn Course Review. What do you do with it, and how will it help you survive? MR: Well, first of all, I can’t put it in the water, because it would probably drown. I’d probably do a lot of reading.

And I wouldn’t be taking classes because I wouldn’t be getting off the freakin’ island. Street: If you could star in one of Julia Roberts’ movies-MR: Notting Hill. Hands down. I just think Hugh Grant there is awesome. He owned an antique bookstore and picked up an international movie star. You can’t get more cosmopolitan than that. Street: Clever, sir. MR: Am I winning now? Street: Yes. You won this interview.

3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

make it a success!

feast special feeds 25 for only $199

place orders in advance of your event offer available exclusively online

includes: falafel, hummus, pita, Moroccan cigars mixed meat, rice, Israeli & cabbage salads

Ever notice how the seat you choose on the first day of class is the one you'll stay in? We hope you chose wisely or you'll be stuck next to the girl who eats her hair for the whole semester. Check out what your seat says about you.

Back Left Pros: Your seat is directly next to the door, allowing you to slip in and out of class whenever you please. Also, it’s the perfect location for a 50–minute nap. Cons: TAs breathing down your neck. Who you’ll find there: Some kid doing homework for another class. What it says about you: It’s admirable how little your tuition money matters to you.

Front Row, middle:

Did we mention our writer's meeting? It's tonight. 6:30. 4015 Walnut.

Pros: Nature, or even the steel roof of DRL, is better than having to look at your professor. Cons: The moment the sun is at just the right angle that you’re instantly blinded and there’s glare all over your computer screen. Who you’ll find there: That girl trying to tan in a temperature–controlled environment. What it says about you: You’re a daydreamer and creative type and, most likely, in the College.

Middle Center Pros: In the most populated area of the lecture hall there’s no need to worry about being asked to answer anything, or even being recognized as an individual human being. Cons: Being surrounded on both sides means you’ll have to awkwardly crumple your jacket behind you and not on an empty seat next to you. The worst! Who you’ll find there: The Adderall–ed masses. What it says about you: Who are you? Do you even go here? 34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

Pros: Enough eye contact with the professor can lead to networking opportunities and a personal relationship — not that kind. (Or if you’re really ambitious...that kind.) Cons: You’re actually expected to participate. Also, your classmates think you’re an asshole. Who you’ll find there: Overachievers and people with really bad eyesight. What it says about you: You’re eager to learn and even more eager that the teacher knows you’re eager to learn. That, or you were the last one to class.

Window Side

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

YOU ARE WHERE YOU SIT

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012 6

FOOD&DRINK

Breakfast: it's just not that hard

It's a new year and a new semester, which means this month's a double whammy for resolutions. What's ours? Eat breakfast — in the morning. We know you've heard it before, but we'll tell you again: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here are our top five reasons to eat our Eggo waffles before midnight.

TRUCKS

RESTAURANTS

Where to get it on–the–go

Where to sit down for breakfast Picnic Opens at 7 a.m. (Mon. – Sat.) 31st and Walnut Average Price: $10 Best breakfast: Pastries baked in– house and La Colombe Coffee (Picnic has egg sandwiches, oatmeal, yogurt and all the goods from Metropolitan Bakery, too). Good for: Filling up before that early morning trip to DRL (after works too).

Bui’s Lunch Truck Opens at 7 a.m. 38th and Spruce Average Price: $5 Best bet: The Hangover Special ($6): sausage, ham, bacon, egg and cheese on a hoagie with a Gatorade. Good for: Savory breakfast–lovers. And curing even the worst hangover.

Sabrina’s Café @ Powelton

La Dominique’s Creperie

Opens at 8 a.m. 34th and Powelton Average Price: $15 Best breakfast (and it’s served all day): the Bella Vista Omelette (pick three fillings for $8.89) served with fried potatoes and toast or the Stuffed Challah French Toast ($9.99) with cream cheese, bananas and vanilla bean syrup. Eggs can be substituted for organic ones for $1.89 more, or egg whites for $1. Good for: When you have all day.

Opens at 11 a.m. 33rd and Market Average Price: $6 Best bet: The Breakfast Crepe ($5.75), with scrambled eggs, onion, tomato and sausage topped with a sweet and spicy pineapple/habanero sauce and cheddar cheese. Good for: Those who like it sweet. La Dominique's got the best crepes on campus. Sorry, Houston.

Greek Lady

Fruit Truck

Opens at 7 a.m. 40th and Locust Average Price: $8 Best breakfast: Greek Omelette ($6.50) with feta, tomatoes, spinach, toast and a side of fruit. Good for: Ordering in. Call them up or get on CampusFood.

Opens at 7 a.m. 34th and Spruce Average Price: $5 Best bet: A medium fruit salad ($4) is more than enough, and paying an extra dollar to customize your fruit choice is worth it. Good for: Beginners. If you're not used to eating breakfast, a cup of fruit may be easier to deal with than something heavier, like pancakes.

BREAKFAST BURRITO Wrap and Rewrap BY NINA WOLPOW

What you need: Burrito leftovers 2 eggs S&P Maybe your eyes were bigger than your stomach when you asked for extra everything last time you stopped by Chipotle. That’s alright: just put the leftovers in the fridge. Have eggs? Whisk two in a bowl with salt and pepper and pop them in the microwave for 1-2 minutes. Unwrap what’s left of your burrito, remove some filling, reheat, add the eggs and roll it all back up. If your tortilla won’t hold, eat it like a bowl.

1. Energize – This is a gimme. With fuel to help your body run, you’ll feel less tired as you begin your day. Glucose, a type of sugar that comes from food, is a contributing factor, as it supplies energy to your body’s cells through the bloodstream.

2. Get your brain going

– In addition to being more energetic in general, you’ll notice better brain activity with a morning meal. Your brain consumes up to 20 percent of your body’s energy, and it needs fuel to run properly. This is especially important if you have a morning class.

3. Stay in shape – No, really. Eating breakfast actually helps you maintain your figure, because with a moderate morning meal, you’ll be less likely to snack throughout the day and overeat at lunch or dinner.

4. Boost your mood – Obviously, eating makes us happy, but there’s science behind it, too. Levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that affects hunger, sleep cycles and mood, are connected to the amount of available carbohydrates in your body, so make sure to add some grains to your breakfast.

5. Concentrate

– We all know how hard it is to focus in class when our stomachs are growling. Luckily, this problem is easily solved with even a small breakfast to tide you over until lunch.

DRINK

OF THE WEEK: DAYBREAK DAQUIRI

6 fl. oz. rum 18 fl. oz. orange juice 1 cup frozen strawberries 4 scoops orange sherbet 1 cup crushed ice

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

BREAKFAST: WHY WE'RE EATING IT

Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.

For those mornings when breakfast needs an extra kick

DIY: SOLO CUP PARFAIT

$$$ GRANTS AVAILABLE FOR YOUR GROUP $$$

Grants ranging between $1,000-$5,000 will be available to individuals or organizations which promote: • women’s issues • the quality of undergraduate and graduate life for women • the advancement of women • the physical, emotional and psychological well-being of women

Favorable consideration will be given to projects that: What you need: Solo cup (or any cup, really), cereal, yogurt, fruit Fill cup one–third of the way with yogurt, top with fruit and finish with cereal. Actually, the order’s up to you, but that’s how we like it.

• affect a broad segment of the University population • foster a greater awareness of women’s issues • provide seed money for pilot programs that have the potential to become ongoing self-supporting programs To apply, visit the TCPW website at www.alumni.upenn.edu/groups/tcpw/ and download the application from the TCPW Grant web page. Applications must be submitted no later than February 13, 2012. Awards will be announced in the Spring of 2012 and funds will be distributed in July/August 2012 for projects in the 2012-2013 academic year.

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

The Trustees’ Council of Penn Women (TCPW) is pleased to announce its 2012-2013 Grants Program and encourages members of the University community to apply.

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

Just across pizzeria serv the pesto zucSquare, this tiny wine and share of hood of Fitlter r s le tt bo w fe p of friends fo Bring a ith a small grou ider walking w pies in Philly. as zz pi n ke alo chic ther’s nice, cons chini and buff ing. If the wea en ev beautiful 19th e iv ns pe orhood’s many hb a chill, inex ig ne e th of in the area and sample e also operates ic there to get a rv se us nB en . The P r free. century homes ck to campus fo ba d an e er th can get you –Zeke Sexauer

S. 16T H ST. A After a mornin ND LATIME g

R just hail o a westw f shopping or head ba ard cab dining ck d t Latimer to campus jus o go home an owntown, it's d take t yet. In easy to St. The an st and qua lo int early oming shop w ead, venture do ap. But don’t wn to 1 20th ce around indows ntu 6t sin m Old Cit ce 1915. Quie ry buildings, s elt into gated h and gardens y vibe in ome of t and un wh –Megan a the mid dle of C ssuming, Latim ich have been Ruben enter C er embo ity. dies an

ST. 6 LOCUST reen Line’s larger 2 4 4 — E F G E CA the the original GREEN LIN t of campus, aked goods to

e e M ST. elphia w en’s you hav SANSOit down: if Philadt Melograno (if tore ever, a gay mstase s o a st thrift ells Ker To boil e. It’s g s e s fun hou uld), the weird , a salon that m be the o y h treet G o, you s sformat d the Sansom S e shoe shop. t e club call ily–owned poin m and a fa olpow W a n i –N

SCOOP DEVIL LE —1734 C Scoop DeVille HESTNUT ST. could easily be th

e best ice cream Philly, maybe ba shop in sed on their men u alone. They’re for their ice crea known m “blends” — tasty mixed co from the more ncoctions, traditional Nut ty Bananas Fo more unorthod ster to ox Wasabi Coc on is expansive, th ut Banana. The the e shop is delig menu htful and the ic sublime. e cream is –Sam Brodey

Semester in the City

The weather is offensive. Your motivation is low. Even though all you want to do is order in food and happiness, now is the time to venture into Philly to find it for yourself. Here's Street's guide to the restaurants, karaoke bars and street corners — yes, street corners — we can't get enough of. JOY TSIN LA

On Saturday U — 1026 RACE S T. mornings G TL is out an to Chinatow d JTL is in. n separates Only a short you from th Joy Tsin Lau ride e brunch of you will feas your dreams. t on delectab dumplings, At le pork buns, taro cake an d so much m succulent so least a doze up ore, all in th n Buddhas e company o and photogr an establishm f at aphs of cele ent where n b ri ty customer o ex gilded trinket s in s. Now go ge pense was spared on red t some dim su w –Inna Kofman m! We’ll race allpaper or you there.

ST. n 5 SOUTHhat stores. Located o y 4 2 — Y ll R rea d all THE BELF ut do you ore to en HATS INe Belfry is the hat st nge is a bit high, b y of Hats in the

ra o, the jo p's price ts and Hats in th t, the sho ua–sized fedora? N flat caps, top ha e e tr S or th h of Sou file picture n a Chihua nd a wonderland y ro u p b a e to k d ta u e to nee ow e aro ect place next Hall andering rf w r e u p is o e y ry r th lf ying. Be e fo It’s rch hats. e perfect headpiec pimp canes. Just sa u h c y p p flo th led ately find lls bedazz to legitim a bonus, it now se As costume. l ar e –Faryn P

pruce St RE — 1220 S t with a little more characU IT N R FU U R bu UHU d Spruce eap furniture,

e nice, ch e at 13th an In need of som Uhuru Furnitur e? bl ta prices any ee ff co A ed furniture at us ly nt ter than an IKE ge , ue tury modto find uniq rgeous mid-cen go a g in is a great place tt ge if s good about n afford. A enough to feel on as Penn student ca re t n’ is charities both r only $90 e used to fund ar e ern credenza fo or st e th oceeds from yourself, the pr . local and global –Zeke Sexauer

GALLERY R AND ARCHOW — 2ND ST., B ETWEEN M On the First ARKET F

ri lery Row in O day of the month you n eed to get yo ld City. The urs ar of 2nd St., from Market t–curation gods have grac elf to Galed this block to Arch, wit including Art h about a m ist’s House, illion gallerie Muse and V tire day mea s, ivant. You ca nder n spend an en along with th ing in and out of gallerie s, drinking in e wine, whic h most galler the artwork vine days. y owners serv e on these d –Sarah Tse i-

SAM’S MORNING GLORY — 735 S. 10TH ST.

I hate brunch. Your stuffed French toast and dry omelets mean nothing to me. Luckily, the people over at Sam’s Morning Glory know what I’m talking about. Their down–to–earth reworking of standard breakfast fare exceeds their own slogan: not a “Finer Diner,” but the finest diner. Crunchy home fries. Homemade ketchup. Tofu scrambles. Salmon frittatas. Coffee in tin cups? Coffee in tin cups. They don’t accept credit cards or take reservations, so bring cash and go early or be prepared to wait (outside) for at least a half hour. You’re welcome in advance. –Ian Bussard

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

and b locks wes es up coffee rv Only a few b se great spot to fe ca er ded sist s business. A w y’ o d o cr the b o ss n le ’s d it an ity like reen Line has e n G u m g, m in rn co o ly West Phil zy Sunday m antidote to th or spend a la undtrack — the perfect ad re y, d u st so to focus. of a fantastic you’re trying s e u il n o h b w h ed it d w ad u s inundates yo dreck Saxby’ d–Guy –Lauren Ree

21ST H ANDis stretch would T 0 2 EN , th the re a fair BETWE n’t had

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

ST. 40 S. 22ND the sleepy neighbor2 — IA R E Z IZ et in GUSTO P on a quiet stre the best es up some of the Schuylkill,

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

MUSIC

WE'VE SEEN THE FUTURE

And there's a lot more stank, weird dudes, gangster hipster girls (and hopefully less LMFAO-ing) BY SAM BRODEY AND FRIDA GARZA

ALBUMS WE’RE EXCITED ABOUT:

The Shins: After a long hiatus, the Shins come into 2012 with a new lineup, but frontman James Mercer remains at the helm, so expect more of the band’s signature brand of indie pop. Franz Ferdinand: The critically–acclaimed UK rockers, responsible for alt–rock classics like “Take Me Out,” are back, releasing their fourth album this year. OutKast: Hip-hop icons Andre 3000 and Big Boi reunite after a six–year hiatus — and we can’t wait for a return to the duo’s legendary, innovative and downright funky sound. Phoenix: The French indie rockers, buoyed by the smash success of 2009’s Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, will hopefully gift us with another fantastic, addictive album. The xx: The band that launched a thousand make–outs returns with what should be another offering of their sexy, unique style of indie R&B and soul. Bloc Party: The British alternative band known for their infectious, punk-inspired rock sound will release an album this year after a four–year break.

ONE ARTIST TO WATCH: Lana Del Rey

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

Dubbed the “gangster Nancy Sinatra,” Lana Del Rey has been making a name for herself with her provocative brand of soulful croons. Her first single “Video Games” went viral last year, dividing her following between lovestruck fans and eyerolling haters. Now, LDR has a steady stream of new tracks leaking on the internet in anticipation for her debut album. While critics may worry about the “authenticity” of her sexy aesthetic, one thing’s for sure: people won’t stop talking about LDR. Look out for her album, Born to Die, which drops next month.

WHAT WE WANT TO SEE MORE OF:

Cool collabs: 2011 saw fantastic collaborations among a diverse array of musicians. We’re hoping that projects like Radiohead’s King of Limbs remix album (featuring awesome DJs like SBTRKT and Flying Lotus) flourish this year. Weird guys rapping: Rap today is dominated by eccentrics: Kanye, Tyler the Creator, Lil B (responsible for the gem “I’m Gay”). The genre’s reached a new level of weirdness, and it’s awesome. Innovative genres: Bands are no longer content to color inside the lines, so to speak, and we wholeheartedly approve. 2012 should feature more acts like The Weeknd and tUnE-yArDs, who aren’t afraid to mix and match musical styles. Good rock bands: In today’s music world of a million rock sub–genres, it’s nice to see musicians just playing good ol’ fashioned rock music. We’re hoping bands like the Black Keys, the Kills and Foo Fighters keep on doing their thing.

WHAT WE WANT TO SEE LESS OF:

Bad Top 40 dance music: It’s not that we don’t like Top 40 pop smashes — we’re suckers for Britney and Gaga. But some of 2011’s biggest dance hits (looking at you, LMFAO) just flat–out sucked. Hopefully, good taste and good beats will prevail in 2012. Bad comebacks: It’s great when artists we love return to the scene. But it sucks when they don’t make good music. The returns of the Strokes and Lil Wayne left much to be desired — let’s hope the new year is kind to our favorite returning acts.

OTHER ARTISTS FOR 2012:

Frank Ocean: Member of the bizarre rap collective OFWGKTA, this talented hip–hop artist has distinguished himself with his thoughtful, R&B-influenced mixtapes — and all without the help of a record label. Swag. Childish Gambino: Last year, the wordsmith and former Community star followed up his amateur mixtapes with his debut album Camp, full of smart, hard–hitting rhymes. We can only expect more great things. Tennis: Sunshiny and playful in the same vein of Best Coast and Summer Camp, this band will make you want to frolic around the beach with their danceable lo–fi tunes. FUTURE THIS — THE BIG PINK

concerts Cream of the Musical Crop This Week in Philly Who: Anthony Green Where: Union Transfer When: 1/20/12 Tickets $17, all ages Why you should go: He'll be playing an array of high–energy rock and chill pop from Beautiful Things.

Who: Twin Sister Where: Johnny Brenda’s When: 1/22/12 Tickets $10-12, 21+ only Why you should go: This dream– pop quintet will blow you away with their funky, cozy sound. See what all the hype is about.

After three years, the British electro–rock act The Big Pink is back with their sophomore effort. But in a disappointing turn, Future This proves that the duo hasn’t outgrown the trademark shoegaze sound of their debut album. Tracks like “Stay Gold” and "Rubbernecking" sound loud and clear with their synth–pop jams and melodic lyrics, but the rest of the album monotonously follows suit. The Big Pink definitely shows us what they do best, but unfortunately we’ve already heard it before. — Frida Garza BEAUTIFUL THINGS — ANTHONY GREEN Anthony Green, of indie darlings Circa Survive, offers a strong solo effort with Beautiful Things. It’s impressively diverse — tracks like “Just to Feel Alive” are airy and gentle, while lead single “Get Yours While You Can” boasts a killer guitar hook. Green’s stellar voice is a welcome constant, and his poignant, evocative lyrics deftly communicate angst, joy and, of course, beauty. With this inviting, emotional and authentic album, Green has managed to craft a beautiful thing of his own. — Sam Brodey

FILM

TOUCH TOO MUCH Dee Rees’ latest benefits from its good intentions…and not enough else By NICK STERGIOPOuLOS

instant watch of the week

In which we parse film culture so you don’t have to. This week we consider the significance of John Goodman. Sometimes I like to feel good, man. Other times I fall in love with John Goodman. Indeed, the jolly fat man may be one of the most underrated actors in Hollywood— his versatility shines foremost on the indie film circuit, particularly when he works with the Coen Brothers or guest–stars on Community. My fascination with John Goodman doesn’t come from his stunning good looks, but rather from the amazingly dark nature of his best roles, usually found in Coen flicks. From Charlie Meadows in Barton Fink to Big Dan Teague in O Brother, Where Art Thou? Goodman carries himself with a wonderfully sinister air, albeit one concealed in a neighborly demeanor. Yes, these roles are somewhat repetitive, even typecast, but Goodman pulls them off with such finesse that each performance appears brand new, his villainy either completely treacherous or oddly inspirational. Perhaps John Goodman will begin to fade away soon, though I hope not. Rather, I wish John the same kind of endearing effervescence that Bill Murray has adopted in his old age. I want to see John develop those strange eccentricities, become almost a parody of himself and ascend into the greater annals of film history. Because he deserves it. — Alex Hosenball

NAKED LUNCH (1991) Because you’re busy, and because free time — like most other times — has been unfortunately consumed by the internet, we let you know how to use Netflix to the fullest. You only watch movies legally, right?

David Cronenberg’s “adaptation” of Naked Lunch, the 1959 novel by William Burroughs, is less a cinematic retelling than a complete immersion in the mind and mythology of Burroughs himself. At its surface, the story follows author, wife–killer and drug addict William Lee as he traverses the fictional North African states of Interzone and Annexia. Most essentially a work of science fiction — though it’s as confusing and genre–bending as Burroughs’s original novel — the film takes the extraterrestrial conventions of commercial science fiction (notably Star Wars), and casts them in a strange new light, where everything has a homosexual undertone and typewriters can speak. It adds up, somehow, to an experience that is as compelling today as it must have been groundbreaking in 1991. — Daniel Felsenthal

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

The buzz surrounding festival darling Pariah seems to suggest an authentic and revealing examination of race and sexuality — in an environment where black gay characters are rarely given a voice, Pariah is a welcome project. However, its portrayal is unfortunately shallow, offering no fresh insights into queer experience. Pariah follows Alike, a talented high school student struggling with her lesbian sexuality amidst a prejudiced community. The plot conforms to most othmances too are superb, the actors ers relating to coming out — bringing extraordinary depth to pariah namely, being gay is hard, espeotherwise underdeveloped roles. Directed by: Dee Rees cially when you have overbearing All of this leads to the impresStarring: Adepero parents. Lovers quarrel, fathers sion that director Dee Rees may Oduye, Kim Wayans, lecture, mothers preach, teens be too attached to the material. Aasha Davis rebel and all this occurs against In several moments, the story Rated R, 86 min. the sloppy backdrop of cringe– appears autobiographical, and inducing high school poetry. It’s you’re left to wonder if the script more of a banal Hollywood romance flick than has been lifted verbatim from her experiences. a complex investigation of queer life — race, Many aspects of the film are certainly realistic, class and gender are only timidly investigated, and the problems raised are of utmost imporand a dildo makes an awkward appearance. tance, but it doesn’t translate to a compelling Thankfully, aside from its shallow screen- cinematic experience. The film’s message is play, the film’s execution is a wonder. The presented with sledgehammer subtlety; writlargely handheld cinematography is as claustro- ten into nearly every frame, Pariah relentlessly phobic as it is stunning: in murky passageways, beats us over the head at 24 absolutely gorgeous overhead lighting and tight close–ups evoke the frames per second. same emotions as the story itself. The perfor-

B ROLL: A TRIBUTE TO JOHN GOODMAN

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

LOL

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

LOL

ARTS

STRAUSS IN THE OPEN

Take a Saturday afternoon to hop on the 43 Bus and see four of Zoe Strauss’s photographic billboards. On your way, grab some tacos, ‘tiques and screen–printed tees. BY ELLIE LEVITT

As a part of “Zoe Strauss: Ten Years” — the Philadelphia Museum of Art’s retrospective show of the beloved artist who began taking pictures of Philadelphia’s overlooked neighborhoods a decade ago — Strauss’s photos are displayed on 54 billboards across town. Similar to her previous public art initiatives (which take place annually under a South Philly Interstate highway), the billboards lack captions as well as any hint of pretension. Capturing American working class experiences through the loose themes of epic journeys and homecomings, their beauty lies in their availability, unadulterated subjects and massive size.

39th & Spring Garden St. Pick up the 43 Bus for $2, every half hour.

Captain Buddy and Captain Kurt Spring Garden St. & N. 9th St.

Mattress Flip 26th St. & Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

Pacific Ocean Spring Garden St. & N. 31st St.

Woman Laughing in Indiana Ridge Ave. & N. 10th St. José’s Tacos 469 N. 10th St. Known to have the best soft tacos in Philadelphia, stop here for a $8-or-less lunch of cilantro–packed guac and cheesy chalupas. Spring Garden Antique & Vintage Market 820 Spring Garden St. Every Saturday, 60 vendors fill this abandoned FedEx warehouse. Stop in to survey everything from Victorian furniture to vinyls. Soy Cafe, 630 N. 2nd St. You don’t have to be vegan to enjoy a late afternoon banana and dark chocolate muffin or the cafe’s winter special, homemade Soy Nog Smoothies.

Quadramics, iNtuitons and PenNaatak of the Theater Arts Council want you for their upcoming spring shows. Check out how to get involved…and how to get drunk more theatrically. (If you ever figure out what Zip Zap Zop is, let us know…)

PenNaatak Show: The Wedding Album Get Involved: Tech Auditions 1/24–25, 7–11 p.m. in Harnwell Upper Lobby Email: naatak@gmail.com

Street: Give us theater wannabes some audition advice. iNtuitons: Do audition if you’re attractive. Don’t audition if you’re not attractive. Naatak: Try to express not impress, and don’t be afraid of going crazy on stage. Quadramics: Don’t sing any songs from Annie…but do come dressed as Annie. Street: The biggest misconception about theater kids? iNtuitons: …that we like being called “theater kids.” Naatak: That we always hang around with other theater kids. Quadramics: That we’re all losers. Only 70 percent…

Street: Your board’s guy-togirl ratio? iNtuitons: Gender is a social construct. So is our board. Naatak: 4:2 Quadramics: 50/50 baby! Street:The best theater game turned drinking game is… iNtuitons: Rehearsals. Someone says a line, you drink. Naatak: Zip Zap Zop. Quadramics: Big Booty. Street: Your group superlative? iNtuitons: Most Likely to Make Like a Honey Badger. Naatak: Naatakist. Quadramics: Life of the Party!!!!

Who is TAC–e? Quadramics Show: The Wild Party! Get Involved: Tech Interviews 1/24–25, 7–11 p.m. in Harnwell. For publicity, costumes, props and more, see website. Website: http://www.dolphin.upenn.edu/ quadramx/ Email: quadramicsboard@googlegroups.com

African American Arts Alliance Front Row iNtuitons PenNaatak e n th O z Kid New

Street: A play that you wish you could produce… iNtuitons: Cats. But the cats would be dogs. Naatak: Bombay Dreams, but we don’t have the budget. Quadramics: Rocky Horror Picture Show, but the Penn Players already did it… Street: What’s the best part about a midnight show? iNtuitons: Board Chair Mike Silverstein’s slutty nurse costume. And no, he’s not in the show. Naatak: We can party before and after. Quadramics: The Pre-Show! You have to come to find out…

Penn Players Quadramics Stimulus Children’s Theater

Bloc

************************************************************** C O Free bang trims U P for ladies Free neck cleanups O N for gentlemen

Every Day

Tuesday & Thursday 1/2 off cutz Regular Price $25 Expires 12/31

**************************************************************

3426 Sansom St. Philadelphia, PA 19104 215.387.8981

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

SPECIAL OFFERS WITH MARIA & MIRANDA

*********************

iNtuitons Show: Woyzeck Get Involved: Tech Interviews 1/24–25, 7–11 p.m. in Rodin Lobby Website: http://www.dolphin.upenn.edu/intuiton/ Email: intuiton@gmail.com

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

GETTIN’ TAC–E

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

LOWBROW

FRAT FAUX PAS & SORORITY SLIP–UPS Rush requires a lot of social prowess; finding out where someone is from or what classes they are taking is no easy feat. Awkward moments and unintentionally racist comments abound, so we’re here to clue you in on some rush no–no's. Asking someone's name for the third time Making the same joke twice in one conversation Eating at Chipotle beforehand Wearing a black coat

Asking if the cheesesteak is kosher

Wearing last night's alcohol as perfume Asking if there is anything other than Banker's Not being a Penn student Living in Gregory or Stouffer

Being from anywhere besides NY or LA Making the same joke twice in in one conversation Trying to play Jewography at St. A's or PhiDelt

TRADING PLACES

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012

With rush in our midst, both bros and gals are wondering what it would be like to swap in their Tory Burch flats for Nike kicks or vice versa. If you’re a fratter whose liver can’t handle another Natty Light or a sorostitute tired of eating hun’–cal snacks, look no further than the following recruitment schedules of Beta Rho Omega and Gamma Alpha Lambda.

Since you’ve been young, the rule of thumb has always been to say what you mean and mean what you say. But as we know, all forms of social etiquette go out the window the minute the Greeks begin to rush the youngest generation of frat bros and sorostitutes. For those new to the rush process, let Lowbrow be your translator during these trying times. "You should meet Chris. He's awesome."

“Yeah, I hear it’s cold outside.”

“We're really diverse.”

“Oh, you’re from Tennessee?” “That’s so interesting!” “What's your major?”

“We mix with all the best sororities.”

He's from Canada and I think you said something about field hockey. But it's probably just as numbing as this conversation. We even have some Orthodox Jews, too.

Ugh, I always forget that one on Sporcle quizzes.

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

ROSETTA FOR RUSHIN'

Where’s my bump buddy? I know you don't have one yet, but I already asked where you're from. I think we had a date party with Bloomers once.

34TH STREET Magazine January 19, 2012 15

BACK AT PENN

What happens when you bump into your friends who studied abroad for the first time on Locust Walk?

Did you meet any new people? Abroad: Yeah, I can’t wait to go back and visit Pierre, Francois and Ja’mie!

Penn: We made do.

What was the nightlife like? Abroad: Pub culture is so different in ___ .

Penn: The Library Social was actually pretty sick this year.

What was school like? Penn: The curve last semester in CHEM241 was the worst.

Abroad: School?

Did you do a lot of traveling? Abroad: Yeah, [Continent] was sickkkk.

Penn: I went to Penn Park one time.

What were the locals like?

Abroad: Everyone was incredibly friendly, and it’s bizarre hearing English again.

Penn: The ones between 34th and 40th?

What was the food like? Abroad: I discovered the joy of tortilla espanola!

Penn: Finally tried that newish place called TBowl…it’s ok, I guess.

How was your semester?