February 2, 2012 by 34th Street Magazine

February 2, 2012 34st.com

violin maker Christopher Germaine composes works of mastery

inside... constructive procrastination candy shops and lollipops first friday

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

february 2

2012

3 HIGHBROW

the roundup, word on the street, overheards, tweet illustrated.

12 Tycho BROhe.

4 EGO

positive procrastination, eotw shane humphrey.

6 FOOD & DRINK candy shop, diy lollipop, drink of the week, just add this.

8 FILM

upcoming cinema events, big miracle review, van pick of the week, meet a prof.

10 FEATURE

rittenhouse's violin maker profiled.

12 MUSIC

street genius, lana del cray, review, leonard cohen review, tycho interview, concerts of the week.

Drew's secret whale fetish.

14 ARTS

first friday, green chair interview, top 5 blogs, van gogh.

18 LOWBROW

top 10 ways to lose weight, vagmons stats, groundhog day.

FROMtheEDITOR

META

f you’ve noticed this block of text’s absence in the last few weeks, congratulations — you’re the reason it’s returned, and it’s nice to meet you. At the risk of getting all sentimental and shit after we’ve just met — I’m touched. We came in with big ideas to shake things up — to harken back to Street’s origins as a countercultural alternative magazine. The issue of relevance came up — how long could we keep you interested if we never changed our style? One of the first things to go was this letter. But, as this week’s feature on a dedicated craftsmen will persuade you, new methods don’t always equal better quality. Yes, the revamped Page 2 looks a little more like the ones you would peruse in Barnes & Noble between classes — but those weren’t written by people you’ve worked on

"To make violins the way Germain does, patience is a must."

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

¡Come check out our worldly music tastes, which includes a partiality to Gloria Estefan and Mambo No. 5!

20 BACKPAGE

group projects with, or who were on your freshman hall. We’ve cleaned up your vomit, hooked up with you, bought you cheap–ass gifts from Urban — that signature, no matter how many times it’s reproduced, reminds you of that. This is why we’ve decided to revive this letter, an old but indispensable tradition. If I were a drink, I would be an Old Fashioned. I still write in cursive, like they taught me to in the second grade. I can’t check my email on my phone. I wanted to handwrite this letter to you, or print it on papyrus and float it down the Nile in your direction. But let’s not get carried away, Lana Del Rey,

WRITERS' MEETING 4015 WALNUT 6:30 P.M.

penn cootie catcher.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Elizabeth Horkley, Editor–in–Chief Joe Pinsker, Managing Editor Adrian Franco, Online Managing Editor Hilary Miller, Design Editor Chloe Bower, Design Editor Sarah Tse, Photo Editor Laura Francis, Asst. Photo Editor Zeke Sexauer, Associate Design Editor Paige Rubin, Highbrow Zacchiaus Mckee, Highbrow Faryn Pearl, Ego Ali Jaffe, Ego Tucker Johns, Food & Drink

Nina Wolpow, Food & Drink Colette Bloom, Feature Leah Steinberg, Feature Sam Brodey, Music Frida Garza, Music Daniel Felsenthal, Film Alex Hosenball, Film Ellie Levitt, Arts Megan Ruben, Arts Anthony Khaykin, Lowbrow Sandra Rubinchik, Lowbrow Alexa Nicolas, Backpage Lauren Reed–Guy, Copy Ben Lerner, Copy Patrick Del Valle, Copy

34st.com Inna Kofman, Online Editor Patrick Ford–Matz, Online Editor Elena Gooray, Online Editor Katie Giarla, Online Editor COVER PHOTO: SARAH TSE

Contributors: Benjamin Parry, Jaycee Gruszecki, Jack Nessman, Samantha Apfel, Lin Zheng, Kensey Berry, Julie Kozeracki.

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Elizabeth Horkley, Editor-–in–Chief, at horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898-6585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581. VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "I made my sister waterboard me one time." "Tame the dragon." ©2012 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

TWEETS ILLUSTRATED

DO I HAVE TO?

Do you tweet with abandon? On the toilet? Drunk? Think no one notices? Think again. Highbrow’s listening, nominating you for Tweet of the Week and, starting now, immortalizing the winners on the pages of Street.

@whartongay: I feel like a queen whenever I walk down the main Huntsman Hall stairs to the Baker Forum… all eyes on me, plebeians. #whartongay

Illustration by Faryn Pearl

THEROUNDUP

Freshman at Commons: I didn’t want, like, a big salad, but I’m going to get a big salad, you know? Guy in Chem building: Why can’t the first rule of thermodynamics be to not talk about thermodynamics? Vagelos scholar: I would give up my leftist, liberal, bleeding– heart crap for a job at Goldman in a heartbeat. Girl in Houston Hall: My Blackberry is so ghetto, the camera doesn’t even have a flash. SDT girl to ZBT guy: He’s actually a really great guy… he’s just conservative.

hey’re only three little words, but they can say a lot. I’m not talking about “I love you,” or “Who’s your TA?” or anything else with such obvious (and earth–shattering) meaning. I’m referring to the insidious little phrase, “I have to.” I say it, you probably say it — it peppers conversations like a pronoun. “I have to go to a meeting”; “I have to do an interview”; the list goes on and on. And on the surface, it may just seem like a normal way to talk about all the things we in the Penn community do. But recently I’ve been wondering what it means when I or anyone else instinctively describe daily plans as a set of miniature burdens, of tasks we apparently are compelled to do. For one thing, I think it’s safe to say that sometimes we like to sound weighed–down by demands because it makes us feel important. Whether it’s out of insecurity in a competitive environment or other pressures, whether it’s conscious or not, lots of Penn students talk themselves up. Therein lies the appeal of a phrase like “I have to,” which turns a night out to a BYO with a box of Franzia and some kids you did a summer program with into an obligation that hints at the range of people you know here, or the resume–building you’ve done. “Oh, I’m going to be late tonight because I have to get dinner with people from my summer research internship.” Suddenly, it almost sounds classy. To be fair, “I have to” also gets tacked onto more pressing commitments, such as exams that require cramming, job hours that need to be logged and concrete student group activities that need to be managed. I’m not denying that our responsibilities can be stressful, and it is perfectly normal, if not healthy, to vent. Even so, lately I’ve had to ask myself: what awful monster is making me do anything? Who volunteered me for these clubs? Who decided to spend hours on Skype instead of studying, so now I “have to” plant myself in Fisher next to a bunch of people who appear to be staring into the face of death? Is there some invisible hand that cares enough about my life to bind me by blood oath to iCal? The answer is, there isn’t. At the end of the day, too many of the responsibilities I complain about are ones I signed up for. And (nearly) every time I slip in an “I have to,” I’m basically denying ownership of my choices. Not so classy. So, one of my goals this spring is to cut down on the term and think of a better semi–catch phrase (preferably one more inspired than “show me the money”). I just can’t work on it tonight— there’s somewhere I really have to be.

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

It feels like spring, doesn't it? It's hot as hell outside, the Tabard babies have swapped their normal wardrobes for a lovely shade of green and random pseudo–hippies who probably should have gone to Brown are playing frisbee golf on College Green. Spring has sprung! Giving us further proof that spring has come early, the Tabard girls decided to execute one of their pledging traditions a bit too soon. Thinking that Groundhog Day was yesterday, the pledges sported furry ensembles and popped out of the holes in the button declaring that winter would be over soon. They quickly realized that the holiday is today and scurried home. Today you can check them out every hour on the hour, dressed as furry creatures, declaring it Groundhog Day. Enjoy. Theta girls had to dress up too, but not in their normal garb. Normally pledging requires that they wear all black for weeks on end, but, as they put it, "black means secrecy." Because they haven't kept quiet about their pledging, Highbrow hears the girls have been ordered to wear all white, all day, and yes, that includes at nighttime when they head downtown. But wait, there's more! When a few pledges asked to skip pledging to go home for the weekend, their pledgemasters allowed it, but not without consequences. The pledges were asked to document their trip by taking planking photos everywhere they went. Isn't planking over yet? But why let Tabard and Theta have all the fun? Our sources tell us Tridelt had a few cute outfits for their newest class. The stories are true: Tridelt lets you be you, as long as you're a an avid Johnny Depp fan. The youngest girls were told to dress as Edward Scissorhands for their bid day party last night, with only a few hours to find a suitable costume. Don't worry, girls, we're sure you'll end up looking sharp. Highbrow spotted a group of lost Wharton souls leaving the Inn at Penn on Monday. But they weren't lost because they think a job in i–banking will bring them happiness; we label them as such because their precious PennLink told them of a "night–before" Goldman Sachs info session for "interviewees only." When the Wall Street hopefuls showed up, there was no such meeting and the poor OCR people had to walk home, sullen and in business formalwear. Cry us a river.

over heard PENN

BY ELENA GOORAY

highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow

wordonthestreet

HIGHBROW

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

EGO

PROCRASTINATION Worst news alert! You have a research paper for your history class. Procrastination is inevitable, so you might as well try to make the most of it. Here are two alternate paths your procrastination can take — it's up to you.

Time to Start Your Paper

Path 1: Positive procrastination. This will be the most productive time you'll ever waste.

Clean your room. How can you expect to work in this explosion of empty water bottles, crumpled homework assignments and a lot of miscellaneous shit? Clear the clutter and you’ll be feng shui'ed.

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

Go to Trader Joe’s. Sure it’s a trek and you lose two hours of possible working time. But let’s be real: you weren’t going to be working then anyway. Stocking up on healthy snacks is a proactive measure to prevent junk food munching at three in the morning when you’re finally writing that paper.

Exercise. Working out is a great way to relieve any stress you feel over the paper by decreasing the amount of cortisol in your body, as well as increasing endorphins to give you a natural high. Plus, your butt is going to look fantastic.

Do laundry. It’s so effortless (well, minus lugging the 40 pounds of your dirty clothes that have accumulated over the past month) yet doing it makes you feel so productive and satisfied. Especially when you're not being productive in any other way.

Create a playlist. Everyone knows that a good paper is the product of a carefully constructed Spotify playlist. It’s worth taking the time to make the playlist perfect. This is the soundtrack to the next five hours of your life and you need to be in just the right state of mind for this paper to be anything besides crap. Find a place to work that feels right. This can mean walking through the basement of VP then checking out each floor upstairs, deciding VP isn’t right after all and trying Fisher Fine Arts, where it’s too damn quiet. When you finally get settled at Saxby’s and it feels just right, all that aimless wandering was worth it. Right?

Ease yourself into the topic. Writing about George Washington? Watch some wannabe comedian rap about him instead. The joke–to– fact ratio may be low, but it’ll likely have a surprising amount of lasting power.

Power nap. Hitting the hay may not seem like the most productive use of your time, but sometimes that's what it takes to rev up the energy to work. Of course it's kind of crucial that you wake up when your alarm chirps 30 minutes later. We suggest multiple alarms strategically placed further than an arm's reach from your bed.

Path 2: Dick around. Those videos of camels running may seem funny now, but in eight hours the only feeling you’ll have is one of regret.

This former Station Manager of WQHS just handed over the reins, but he’s still a boss in the classroom as a Management TA. And look out, he just might be the next winner of The Amazing Race. Street: What is the #1 most– played song on your iPod? Shane Humphrey: I don’t own an iPod. I’ve never bought an Apple product 'cause I’m just that hip. Street: What song plays as you walk into a room? SH: If I was going into a wrestling arena I’d probably want something that would pump me up like “Wake Up” by Arcade Fire. Street: If you got a tattoo what would it be? SH: I’ve always asked myself this question and I think what I would do is…well, so I’ve got an identical twin brother whose got a tattoo. He has some nice Japanese characters. So I’d probably do something in Chinese, the same thing, slightly different but the same thing. Street: Do you guys have a

twin language? SH: We never did. We’re like the worst twins. People would always do that thing where they ask you, “You think of a number, you think of a number. What number is he thinking of?” And so we’d always just say two. Street: Which do you hate more: writing an essay or studying for a test? SH: Definitely studying for a test because I feel like when I’m studying for a test I feel like I need to be super focused. But when I’m writing an essay I’m usually drinking so it’s kind of drink a little, hang out, put some words on the page. Street: What lengths would you go to to avoid studying for your test? SH: Once I went to New York to avoid studying for a test. It didn’t work out very well.

Street: If you could go on a game show, what show would it be? SH: Me and my older sister actually made half of a video to go on The Amazing Race. Unfortunately we didn’t finish it because we realized we were way too drunk and coming off as complete assholes. Street: What would be your strategy? SH: I think my strategy is kind of using my sister, since she’s really tall and lanky. She’d do all the athletic stuff and then she also doesn’t mind eating gross stuff so she’d do all that. I’d like to think I’d look good on a camera. So I’m just there to make sure we get on the show and then she’d just rock it. Street: If you were in a band,

hummus grill make it a feast!

what would it be called? SH: When I was in high school my identical twin brother had a death metal band and they called themselves Deus Ex Magina, which is very death metal of them. I think now I’d be Deus X and we’d be a post–death metal band. Street: How would you bring your chamber music experience into that? SH: I actually have an electric violin at home, which is like so nerdy of me. But I would totally take that and amp up the distortion and growl all on the

G–string. Kind of rock out on the violin. Street: Can I just say how sexual “growl all on the G–string” sounds? SH: I don’t really know how to respond. Street: What would be your DJ name if you had one? SH: Probably be something related to Minnesota. DJ Hot Dish. Street: Serving up the music. SH: Hot and fresh, every Wednesday night.

3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia 215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

make it a success! 34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

feast special feeds 25 for only $199

place orders in advance of your event offer available exclusively online

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EGOOF THE WEEK: SHANE HUMPHREY

includes: falafel, hummus, pita, Moroccan cigars mixed meat, rice, Israeli & cabbage salads

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 6

FOOD&DRINK

CANDYMEN

Eric and Ryan Berley put a new spin on an old Philly fave By Nina wolpow and tucker johns | photos by sarah tse

News flash: you have fewer than two weeks till Valentine's Day. We’ll be hitting you up next week with a guide to the big night, but for those of you who like to plan ahead, Old City’s recently–revamped Shane Confectionery is where you want to stock up on your sweets. Just a few months ago the Berley brothers reopened Shane Confectionery — the sweeter sister of Franklin Fountain — bringing locally–sourced ingredients (hence the high prices) and a newfound attention to detail to Shane's already– loved chocolate creations. Best in show are Shane’s blends of sweet and salty: the chocolate–covered bacon ($3.50 per strip) has been one of the shop’s biggest hits and the salted caramels ($1.50), both milk and dark, are among the best in the city.

Terrapins ($2), in milk and dark chocolate and laced with cashews and pecans, are chewy, subtly sweet nuggets of nuts and caramel. Truffles, like Shane’s hazelnut ($1.50), are dense drops of dark chocolate accented with nuttiness. Buttercreams ($1), the specialty of the original incarnation of Shane, are still remarkable — the rich blend of coffee and dark chocolate stole our hearts. Also excellent were the homemade marshmallows ($1). Enrobed in dark chocolate, these are not as sickeningly sweet as the supermarket variety. We like that. And if you can’t ditch the Valentine's Day kitsch, Shane has begun taking orders for chocolate–covered strawberries — just give them a few days’ warning.

How to get sugar high at home BY ISABEL OLIVERES

PENN PALATE: PENN GASTRONOMY CLUB PRESIDENT We caught up with College senior Shreyans Goenka, the founder and president of the Penn Gastronomy Club, which this past fall held its second annual student dessert competition. Shreyans filled us in on his favorite Philly dessert, dreamed up his ultimate candy bar and told us which candy he dreads getting on Halloween. For the interview, 34st.com check out 34st.com.

Ingredients: 1 cup white sugar ½ cup light corn syrup ¼ cup water 1 tsp. flavor extract food coloring (optional) coffee stirrers 1. Cover two cutting boards with aluminum foil. Spray with nonstick cooking spray. 2. In a saucepan, combine the sugar, corn syrup and water. Stir over medium–high heat until the sugar dissolves. 3. Insert your candy thermometer into the sugar mixture and let boil until 300°. Say what? You DON’T own a candy thermometer!? Fret not — you can use the “cold water test.” Let the mixture boil down and thicken for about eight minutes. With a spoon, drizzle a little of the mixture into a cup of cold water. If it forms thin, brittle strings, it’s ready. 4. Remove the mixture from the heat and add the food coloring and flavoring. Mix well. 5. Using a spoon, pour dollops of the mixture onto the prepared cutting boards. Press a coffee stirrer into the center of each dollop (you may want to twirl the stirrer to ensure it’s completely covered). 6. Let cool and enjoy the sweet treat!

JUST ADD THIS And you thought salt was just for savory.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

DIY: LOLLIPOPz

Take scoops of Ben & Jerry’s to go (Karamel Sutra or Dulce Delish are probably best) Add a few pinches (or more, if you’re a fan) of sea salt It's like a salted caramel you eat with a spoon.

e n th O z Kid New

Tuesday & Thursday 1/2 off cutz Regular Price $25 Expires 12/31

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Place all candies in a large container (like Tupperware). Pour vodka over Jolly Ranchers until they are totally submerged. Cover and refrigerate for 24 hours. Upon removal, shake well and strain into shot glasses. Serve chilled.

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What you need: 30 Jolly Ranchers (pick one flavor) 4 cups Vodka (Svedka works best)

C O Free bang trims U P for ladies Free neck cleanups O N for gentlemen

Every Day

3426 Sansom St. Philadelphia, PA 19104 215.387.8981

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

JOLLY JUICE (AND LOTS OF IT)

SPECIAL OFFERS WITH MARIA & MIRANDA

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OF THE WEEK:

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DRINK

Bloc

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 8

LOL

FILM

COMING SOON TO AN INSTITUTION NEAR YOU

The Penn film community has a rich program of free(!) events lined up every year, but unfortunately it’s hidden behind a Google search that few perform. Let Street guide you through some of the events that may (or may not) interest you, including Cuban exports, indie oldies and more. By DANIEL FELSENTHAL, JAYCEE GRUSzecki and alex hosenball Twenty–nine Pictures Like That: The Elvis Movie (A Talk with David E. James) February 3, Fisher–Bennett 231, 3340 Walnut St, 5:00 p.m. The King is alive and quite well. Or at least in the mind of David E. James, who arrives at Penn on Friday to discuss the film career of the great Elvis Presley. James, a professor at the University of Southern California, has been published extensively and has had his own films shown at the Whitney in New York. Among other subjects, his academic work has shined a light on the connection between film and music, so the talk should be well–informed. And for those of you who don’t care about rock 'n' roll before the hippie generation, James will focus on the films Elvis created after serving in the military in the early 1960s, when The Beatles were lighting up Hamburg and Dylan was just another folkie in Greenwich Village. Men Of Words February 5, Rainey Auditorium in the Penn Museum, 3260 South St, 2:00 p.m. The Penn Museum Film Series, which offers a slate of internationally–inclined documentaries, kicks off on February 5 with Men With Words. Focusing on the heavily–politicized poetry scene in Yemen, the film examines the contemporary tradition of “throw–downs” — for which writers open up a charged discourse via cassette decks. This screening is coupled with a talk by Harvard professor Steve Caton, whose career work has focused largely on Yemen. And this screening — as with the entire Penn Museum Film Series — is free with admission to the museum (which, of course, is free for Penn students). Samson and Delilah and Sodom and Gomorrah: The Last Seven Days. February 9, The Rotunda @ Penn, 4014 Walnut St, 8:00 p.m. Get your Bible on at The Rotunda next Thursday for February’s installment of screenings curated by Andrew Repasky McElhinney — part of a series called ARMcinema25. Up this month is Cecil B. DeMille’s Samson and Delilah, an epic version of the biblical tale. Afterwards, take the edge off and live a little with the comedic Sodom and Gomorrah: The Last Seven Days, a biting take on the cities of sin. Other ARM screenings occur the second Thursday of every month. Memories of Underdevelopment February 16, International House, 3701 Chestnut St, 7:00 p.m. Cuba may not be the most mysterious country out there, but its culture and people still differ drastically from the U.S.’s. Experience unique Cuban cinema every few weeks at IHouse, beginning in February with Memories of Underdevelopment, a 1968 film detailing the crises of Sergio, a bourgeois man in Cuba. The Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis shape this national classic, which focuses on the island’s people in a time of great strife. Adaptation February 29, International House, 3701 Chestnut St, 7:00 p.m. As one event in the Cinema Studies Department's series of roundtable discussions and free screenings called Pleasures and Pitfalls of Film Adaptation, Penn professors Timothy Corrigan and Carolyn Abbate and NYU professor Alexander Galloway discuss Spike Jonze's Adaptation. If you're interested in other free screenings, check out some of the other events in the series, which examines the relationship between original stories and their, well, adaptations. Settling Down March 4, Rainey Auditorium in the Penn Museum, 3260 South St, 2:00 p.m. When was the last time you considered tying yourself down to one place? If you’re part of the Penn Abroad community, perhaps never. Take a walk on the nomadic side with Settling Down, a short documentary about a roving group of Irishmen known as the Travellers. The film peeks into the lives of a small community in the city of Cork, examining the effects of modernization and political changes within Ireland. Go to find out if the Travellers ever end up settling down.

Though entertaining, Big Miracle is a bit less than miraculous

Big Miracle's stunningly realistic whale puppets are excellent fodder for beautiful shots and an engaging action dynamic. Unfortunately, it's the movie's flawed human storylines that lessen this effect. John Krasinski is emotionally–weightless as a reporter who uses a whale sighting to propel his career. Like most of the other characters, he seems less concerned with protecting the whales than appeasing an emotionally unstable Drew Barrymore, his ex–girlfriend and the militant Greenpeace activist responsible for the whale rescue. The film’s neat romance may be realistic, but that doesn’t make the chemistry any better. Characters are flattened for the sake of humor and convenience, and the environmental themes are also shaky. Despite these problems, Big Miracle delivers uplifting family entertainment. If you don’t cry, Drew Barrymore will hate you. — Jack Nessman

FISH TANK (2009)

Street: What originally got you interested in film? Christopher Donovan: I can’t recall not being interested in film. My favorite childhood memory is being maybe five or so, and my father acting out the last half–hour of Jaws with my Fisher Price deep–sea explorer set, with a cute rubber dolphin contributing an impressive change– of–pace performance as the killer shark. Street: What do you think will win Best Picture at the Oscars? What do you think deserves it? CD: One has to assume that

Have you ever watched Planet Earth sober? It's not nearly as emotionally engaging…

— Samantha Apfel

celebration of the early days of American cinema, one can hardly claim that the Academy is tapping into the zeitgeist.

The Artist will take home the trophy. I greatly prefer Hugo, but if the choice is between an American celebration of the early days of French cinema and a French

Street: Last week we ran a feature on the artistic potential (or lack thereof) of 3D film technology. Where do you stand on the issue? Do you think a great 3D film has been made yet, and do you think there will be one? CD: I think Hugo makes marvelous use of 3D technology… while watching the film, I was reminded how many critics bemoaned the advent of the sound era and forecast the death of cin-

ema. I bet Scorsese remembers this, too. That said, so far 3D has been mostly a blight, with the exception of Hugo and Avatar and some interesting documentaries last year, such as Pina, about modern dance, and Cave of Forgotten Dreams, about the Chauvet cave drawings. As such, I would never see 3D as the norm, but rather a tool to be employed both when the subject calls for it and when filmmakers are legitimately inspired to conceptualize their work in an added dimension.

$$$ GRANTS AVAILABLE FOR YOUR GROUP $$$

The Trustees’ Council of Penn Women (TCPW) is pleased to announce its 2012-2013 Grants Program and encourages members of the University community to apply. Grants ranging between $1,000-$5,000 will be available to individuals or organizations which promote: • women’s issues • the quality of undergraduate and graduate life for women • the advancement of women • the physical, emotional and psychological well-being of women

Favorable consideration will be given to projects that: • affect a broad segment of the University population • foster a greater awareness of women’s issues • provide seed money for pilot programs that have the potential to become ongoing self-supporting programs

@34st

To apply, visit the TCPW website at www.alumni.upenn.edu/groups/tcpw/ and download the application from the TCPW Grant web page. Applications must be submitted no later than February 13, 2012. Awards will be announced in the Spring of 2012 and funds will be distributed in July/August 2012 for projects in the 2012-2013 academic year.

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

Before he bared it all in Shame, Michael Fassbender proved he had star power to spare in 2009’s BAFTA– winning film Fish Tank. This micro–indie has probably been seen by about five people, but Netflix Instant can help remedy that. Learning a bit about the flick will whet your appetite and get your mouse pads a–clickin’. Newcomer Katie Jarvis stars as 15–year–old Mia, a rebel chick and street dancer with sneers to spare. Director Andrea Arnold depicts a gritty, grim portrait of the broken home she was raised in, where the booze flows freely but parental guidance and compassion are hard to come by. Mia’s life is turned upside–down when her mom brings home handsome new boyfriend Connor, played by Fassbender. Mia and Connor soon develop a relationship that breaks all the rules while constantly remaining real — thanks to two grounded, fully lived–in performances. The film refuses to judge either character, which is likely why it is so unsettling; even when Connor commits unspeakable acts, Arnold simply sits back and allows Fassbender’s natural magnetism to pull us in anyway.

Each week, we interview a Cinema Studies professor on their relationship with film. First up is Christopher Donovan, sci–fi connoisseur and House Dean of Gregory. Be sure to check 34st.com for the full interview. BY Daniel Felsenthal

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR CINEMA STUDIES PROFESSORS:

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

It’s easy to forget that people make things anymore. America’s cities are filled with shuttered and rusting factories. Its politicians speak of saving and creating industrial jobs, using outdated rhetoric that might be funny if it didn’t hurt so much. American industrialism is a fading memory that casts a long shadow. Pre– industrial artisanship is an even dimmer epoch, the province of “living history” setups like Colonial Williamsburg. But there remain a few fields whose practitioners approach making goods by hand as neither educational gimmick nor countercultural utopianism (a la the slow food movement). Surely, people who practice such anachronistic crafts must be anachronistic people — like the man who works, for instance, behind a sign on Spruce Street that reads: “Christopher Germain, Vio-

linmaker,” which brings to mind a man wearing a powdered wig and breeches. Christopher Germain doesn’t wear a powdered wig. He favors faded Levis over breeches, and he wears running shoes each time we meet. With his soft face and graying hair, he resembles a middle–aged Paul McCartney. Located near Rittenhouse Square, Germain’s workshop occupies two rooms on the first floor of a building that also houses his living quarters. Along the left wall is a case filled with a row of violins; along the right wall is its counterpart, filled with books (Stradivari’s Varnish, among others). A rack of cellos sits in front of this cabinet. With a marble fireplace and a plush rug, the space brings to mind Sherlock Holmes’s drawing room. A pair of wood and glass doors open onto Germain’s workshop, which is orderly but not stuffy; work clearly takes place here. Germain’s shop sports mark-

edly little in the way of digital technology, save for a computer, two printers, a telephone and some speakers that are always playing classical music. Everything else works on the principle of a hand applying force: chisels and planes and brushes and awls. These are all Germain needs. These, and his hands. “The process has not changed all that much in three or four hundred years,” Germain says in his flat Midwestern voice. “Compared to other professions, where everything is completely changing in a few years or months, violinmaking is a very tradition–oriented craft, and although there’s access to information that was not available before, the actual way the instrument is made is pretty much the same.” The information that Germain speaks of is itself of a backwards bend; it refers to new insights that technology has provided into the methods used by the violinmaking masters who worked in Cremona, Italy in the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries, members of the families Amati, Guarneri and Stradivari. Violin enthusiasts tend to speak of these families with the hushed reverence uttered in the presence of the divine. From time to time, a newspaper headline heralds new revelations about “Stradivari’s secret” as if it were King Tut’s Curse. Germain does not participate in the breathless search for Stradivari’s quintessence. Asked about the secret, Germain responds with a craftsman’s pragmatic passion. “I don’t think there was a secret,” he says. “I think there were a

thousand secrets. It’s like saying if I had the paint that Michelangelo used to produce the Sistine Chapel, then I could do that, too. Well, no. I couldn’t do that. The secret is that these guys were geniuses — they were working at the height of their craft, there were many fine craftsmen at that time, they were working in close proximity, it was a very competitive field and they were at the top of their game, just like Beethoven or Mozart. That’s really the secret, I think, not some recipe that was long lost and is waiting to be rediscovered.” Talking to Germain, you get the sense that the need for a mystical explanation irks him a bit. And why wouldn’t it? What to others may be a letdown or a dull story is to Germain a way of life, one that yields rewards and excitements much greater than the conspiratorial search for some superhuman additive in the Cremonese makers’ method. It’s as if mere genius were no longer compelling enough. It suffices for Germain, however, who began his career nearly 30 years ago. Born in St. Louis, he earned a degree in journalism from the University of Missouri in 1980. But by graduation day, Germain had no intention of using his degree; he had already decided to become a violinmaker and completed a journalism program to appease his parents. Germain was drawn to violinmaking as a merging of two early passions: music and making things. “When I was young, I just loved working with my hands, making stuff,” Germain says, adding that he would often spend time in his father’s home workshop trying to make things from scraps of wood. After a brief money–saving interlude at the St. Louis Post–Dispatch, Germain headed to the newly–founded Chicago School of Violinmaking. After graduation, Germain worked with two violin dealers in Chicago, “learning a lot, but not making a lot of

“Fella says they’s fiddles four hundred years old, and they git mellow like whiskey. Says they’ll cost fifty-sixty thousan’ dollars.” -John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath money.” A degree in violinmaking does not mean the end of training; for those aspiring to the heights of the craft, an apprenticeship is common. “If you’re going to go into violinmaking it has to be a strong desire. It’s so challenging, it’s so difficult, it’s so hard to make a living for a long time. It’s like being a starving artist,” Germain says. Germain started his own business in Chicago in 1991, where he worked for six years before relocating to the Washington, D.C. area. A decade later, Germain chose to come to Philadelphia, where he opened his first real shop. Many violin makers work in home workshops, but Germain’s reputation had solidified to the point where he thought “it was time to be a little more visible.” Hiding wouldn’t do Germain much good. His Midwestern humility means you have to pick up the threads here and there, but it’s clear that Germain is an eminent figure in the violinmaking world. When I ask Germain’s apprentice, a taciturn young man named Sam with a voice that is somehow both high and deep, how he found out about Germain, he replies, “He’s famous.” “Infamous,” Germain immediately quips, a smile flickering across his face. Germain’s prominence ultimately derives from the quality his work. His violins, violas and cellos are painstakingly crafted in much the same way they were centuries ago. Germain begins an instrument with a pattern derived from one of the Cremonese designs, which provides an outline. Using a hot iron, he bends a piece of wood to make the instrument’s sides, or ribs. He cuts the top and bottom pieces to fit this outline, thus creating the violin’s body. The ribs, the bottom and the neck are all typically

made from maple, while the top is usually spruce, chosen for being light and resonant but also strong. The body will receive several coats of varnish, made from pine or fossil resins, giving it a rich amber glow. Since these varnishes don’t dry by evaporation, Germain places varnished instruments in an ultraviolet box to accelerate the process, so that he doesn’t have to rely on sunlight. Germain is particularly well–known for manipulating his instruments’ varnish so that they look well–used, though he doesn’t do this for all his instruments — some of his customers prefer to break them in on their own. Between assembling the body and varnishing and stringing it up, Germain faces innumerable choices about carving, cutting, chiseling, shaving and so on. Only by experience, he says, does a violin maker gain the intuition to navigate these choices. By intuition, Germain means the innate knowledge of the right choice at each juncture of the assembly process, earned through his 30 years of work. Germain makes a compelling argument for proceeding in this manner: “[Other violinmakers] a lot of times feel if they can measure everything, they can produce the best instrument and I always counter with the argument that back in Stradivari’s day, he didn’t have any fancy equipment. He just used his hands and his ears and the wood and his tools, and I think that that’s still the most successful way to produce a good instrument. It’s not to say that we can’t learn from technology, but I didn’t get into it because of my love of technology. It’s my love of a traditional craft, and it’s one of the few things that is still done in the same manner today.” Since violinmaking is such a

delicate and complex process, each stage accompanied by endless planing and scraping to give the instrument exactly the right shape, this intuition separates the good from the great. If his clients are any indicator, Germain falls under the latter classification. His instruments are in major symphonies across the nation, including Philadelphia's and Chicago's; he once made a viola for a member of La Scala, the renowned Milanese opera house. He recently sold a violin to the concertmaster of the Marine Corps Orchestra. Known as “The President’s Own,” they provide classical music at the White House. In addition to these high–profile clients, Germain’s instruments are popular among all types of serious musicians, especially conservatory students. Germain’s violins sell for about $20,000 and take about a month to complete, meaning that his annual output is fairly small. He could produce more, he says, but repairs and restorations occupy much of his time. Moreover, he enjoys his small–batch approach. “If it was a big output, it would be almost like a factory,” he says. Quality in a violin is difficult to define, because the instruments change as they age. “Most instruments as they’re played more tend to open up and become more resonant and just freer– sounding, whereas an instrument that’s just completed generally doesn’t sound so good right away,” Germain says. A violinmaker must be patient, because a violin is never really finished, its sound receding and reviving depending on how often it is played. It’s not a process that violin makers fully understand, and it’s one of only two times in our conversations that Germain reverts to a more

mystic sense of his craft. “There’s almost like a magic there, it’s hard to explain a lot of what’s involved,” he says. The other time occurred during a phone call Germain received from a woman in Colorado, hoping to purchase a violin for her young son. Germain repeatedly encouraged her to come to Philadelphia, emphasizing that her son needs to try out a number of violins to figure out which one suits him best. “I’m not a very mystical person,” he says at one point, “but there really is a magic there, when you find the instrument you like.” To make violins the way Germain does, patience is a must. Not the patience required to stand in a long Starbucks line, mind you. The patience in question is unceasing, not a virtue to call upon but an element to breathe. With a devotion to so many choices that don’t register on the prevailing cultural seismographs of value — money and utility — patience may be Germain’s version of Stradivari’s secret. One afternoon, I watch Germain work on a bridge, one of the smallest pieces of a stringed instrument. It's one of the final steps in the process. I expect the process to take a few minutes, but as Germain whittles and chisels and checks to see if the bridge is flush to the near–completed violin — a gorgeous instrument with an amber finish so lively it seems to hum — I begin to get fidgety. How long does this usually take? I ask. “Well, you want it to fit just right,” Germain says. With the smile peeking from the corners of his mouth, he adds: “Of course, when you’re talking to someone, it can take a little longer.”

Jim Santel is a College senior studying English. He's originally from St. Louis.

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

BY JIM SANTEL | PHOTOS BY SARAH TSE

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

Street takes you inside the studio of Philly's hardest–working violin maker.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

MUSIC

ALBUM REVIEWS BORN TO DIE-

Let me preface this review by noting the grudge I hold against Lana Del Ray for shaming SNL with the most breathy, awkward, wince–inducing performance I’ve seen since passing an asthmatic homeless woman choking out “At Last” in a New York subway station. That said, Born To Die isn’t as horrible as I wanted it to be. Sure, Del Rey’s roofied Marilyn Monroe vocals aren’t everybody’s cup of tea, but you gotta admit, she creates a convincing world. Full of unrequited love and lofty, if sometimes uncanny, orchestration, Born To Die’s universe is an enthralling one. No one will ever agree on the “gangsta Nancy Sinatra,” but it looks like she’s here to stay. Now someone teach that girl to lip sync. — Patrick Ford-Matz

OLD IDEAS

Leonard Cohen, the legendary Canadian singer–songwriter, is equally known for writing incredibly emotional, moving songs and for being totally unable to actually sing them. On Old Ideas, he holds true to both of these abilities. In traditional Cohen fashion, this collection addresses the motifs of religion ("Hallelujah") and odes to past and present lovers ("Bird On a Wire") with as much lyrical genius as ever. However, with this said, his voice remains an insurmountable issue. It might be a good idea to wait for the cover versions. —Benjamin Parry

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour Who: The up–and–comers who brought you the ear candy “Heart Attack” When: 2/2 Where: Union Transfer Tickets: $15, all ages Why: Because they’re a Danish electro–pop band with a blonde bombshell for a lead singer. Check out these guys so you can say you knew them before they pen the next iPod commercial background song.

Theophilus London Who: Last name London, first name Theophilus When: 2/7 Where: Johnny Brenda’s Tickets: $13–$15, all ages Why: If you missed him at the SPEC–TRUM show last semester, you missed out big time. Go to catch his single “I Stand Alone” and stay for his unbridled talent and charisma. Augustana Who: The guys who stole your 16–year–old heart with the emo piano ballad “Boston” When: 2/3 Where: Theater of the Living Arts Tickets: $13, all ages Why: Street doesn’t usually endorse bands that we listened to in middle school, but nobody is above rocking out to “Stars and Boulevards." Augustana will impress potential Valentines, or let you get a good cry in before V–Day smacks you in the face next week.

We know how accurate iTunes Genius can be (i.e. Bon Iver and Lil Jon). Looking for a new, slightly cooler oracle to show you the way? Street’s here with our superior, algorithm–free judgment calls. BY SAM BRODEY AND FRIDA GARZA If you like Kanye... try Kendrick Lamar

If you like Nicki Minaj... try Santigold

We’re all about Kanye’s ever–changing direction as an artist, but if you’re longing for the flavor of his older stuff (like The College Dropout) you’ll want to check out upstart young rapper Kendrick Lamar. He’s got some of Kanye’s eccentricity and moodiness (we’ll see where that takes him) as well as his knack for crafting solid rhymes and beats. Start with: "Hol’ Up," "A.D.H.D." Also check out: Frank Ocean

If you like Yeah Yeah Yeahs... try St. Vincent Into awesome female rockers? We are too. Annie Clark, a.k.a. St. Vincent, is a prodigious shredder of guitars and a fantastic vocalist. Her sound is similar to Karen O’s — if you added some metal, an artsy touch and turned the volume up to 11. Start with: "Cheerleader," "Dilettante" Also check out: Sleigh Bells

If you like The Shins... try The Dodos It's time to outgrow your copy of the Garden State soundtrack and expand your collection of nerdy indie bands. Enter The Dodos. This underrated San Francisco group crafts some of best head–bopping tunes we've heard. Start with their old stuff and prepare yourself for some serious infectiousness. Start with: "Fables," "Fools" Also check out: Of Montreal

Street: You’re an accomplished (and really impressive) graphic designer. How does your work in design and your eye for visuals inform the way you make music, or the other way around? Tycho: They are one and the same to me. I don’t see a separation between my goals for each. I am trying to express a singular vision with my work and I feel that the musical and visual aspects are two necessary components. My current goal is to create a full–length motion piece scored by my own music. Street: Do you ever envision an ideal scene for listening

If you like The Black Keys... try The Dead Weather The Black Keys, thanks to their overwhelming recent success, have been credited with bringing the blues back to alternative rock. Not so fast — legendary bluesman Jack White has been singing ‘em for years (in various bands). His outstanding side project with The Kills’ Allison Mosshart, The Dead Weather, puts a down–and–dirty spin on the blues that’s irresistibly good. Start with: "I Cut Like a Buffalo," "Blue Blood Blues" Also check out: The Kills

If you like Mumford & Sons... try Old Crow Medicine Show Tired of the cold? Looking for something to take you straight into the heart of Texas? Look no more. The multi–instrumentalists of Old Crow Medicine Show will transport you with their sweet bluegrass harmonies and their finger–pickin', banjo–rockin' soul. It's impossible to listen to these guys and not feel good inside. Start with: "Wagon Wheel," "I Hear Them All" Also check out: Gillian Welch

SPEC Jazz & Grooves brings Tycho to the Rotunda this Friday at 8 p.m.

to your music? The cover of Dive looks pretty ideal... Tycho: I suppose each song would have its own specific environment for me. I definitely envision spaces or at least hazy images of where that song might occupy in physical space. For me, the cover of Dive is the space I imagine when I hear “Ascension”; that was the song I think most informed that artwork. Street: Which musical artists are your main inspirations? Tycho: Boards of Canada and Ulrich Schnauss are my primary inspirations and two artists who show me what electronic music

could be. But in the years since I started I have found many other inspirations, most notably in the world of folk/rock which I think has been playing a larger role in my work of late. Street: Could you talk a little about ISO50 and what that means for your music? Tycho: ISO50 is just the name I went under for design, but over the years as I stopped doing commercial design and focused on my personal work I realized the design and music are inseparable. Now I think ISO50 is more about the blog and the pure design work.

Street: What was touring with Little Dragon last year like? Tycho: It’s was a great experience. I am a huge fan so it was an incredible opportunity to tour with them. We learned a lot from how they represent the music in a live context. Street: What are some future projects you're excited about? Tycho: I'm currently working on a new visuals set for the live show. I’m working with a director named Charles Bergquist who has been shooting some beautiful stuff which I’ll be sequencing and effecting for the shows.

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

TALKIN’ WITH TYCHO

We love our lady rappers and Santigold is no exception. Famous for her wildly hypnotic song "Creator," this bad chick can seriously put it down. Her sound is in the same vein as the crowd favorite M.I.A., but is less polished and harder– hitting. Think more animal noises and more synths. Start with: "I’m a Lady," "Big Mouth" Also check out: Azealia Banks

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

STREET GENIUS

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

LOL

ARTS

UPCLOSE&PERSONAL

Philly is the only American stop for this ground– breaking Van Gogh exhibition. BY ISABEL OLIVERES “I…am always obliged to go and gaze at a blade of grass, a pine–tree branch, an ear of wheat, to calm myself,” wrote Vincent Van Gogh to his sister near the end of his life. These words are embodied by the works exhibited in “Van Gogh: Up Close,” the greatly–anticipated PMA show that opened yesterday. Focusing on the turbulent final years of the artist’s life — involving his move to Paris in 1886 and his time in an asylum — the exhibit highlights Van Gogh's obsession with nature and the emotional intensity that manifested itself on canvas. As the ultimate post–impressionist trailblazer, Van Gogh broke all the rules of still–life painting: he layered thick brushstrokes, used unusual perspectives and played with depth of field. Experimentation became increasingly present in

the last four years of his life, and this is the first exhibit to ask why. From fruit and flowers painted from his apartment in Montmartre to the captivating landscapes of Southern France, “Van Gogh: Up

With only so much space each week, Arts can’t possibly cover all things local and creative. And that’s where these amazing sites step in — click, drool, repeat. BY ELLIE LEVITT

1. Arslocii arslocii.wordpress.com

This blog presents intellectual musings on art, architecture and design in diary form, as writers explore public spaces ranging from abandoned railways to sculpture parks. They not only review the placesvisited, providing excellent advice for an afternoon getaway (photos included!), but also continually churn out fresh insight on “placeness” and what makes certain public sites capable of fostering human transcendence.

2. Art Jaw artjaw.com

Cherry Blossoms

Close” offers the viewer an unprecedented opportunity to take in the energized surfaces and dizzying compositions created during the last years of the artist's tragic life. Van Gogh: Up Close Philadelphia Museum of Art 26th St. and Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. Now–4/6

WE WANT YOU! Love Penn? Tell accepted students why! The Office of Admissions is seeking volunteers to assist with Penn Preview Days Learn more and sign up at http://goo.gl/NheC3 P.S. We have free swag!

Philly Art Websites

Artjaw features first–person stories from different members of the Philadelphian art world. In a very rare “around the campfire” collaboration between academics, critics, vendors, curators and artists, unfiltered autobiographical snippets about fights with teachers or breakthrough moments accompany a profile photo of each voice. Stories are added bi–monthly.

3. The Nicola Midnight St. Claire the-st-claire.com

The Nicola Midnight St. Claire is a monthly forum run by artists to gather Philly–centric essays, reviews and interviews with artistic slants. Sandwiched between commentary is bizarre and brilliant innovation; the “centerfold” unveils locally–produced videos and other works of digital media.

4. Printeresting printeresting.org Reposting national news (like a printer error that made “I Voted” stickers smaller than a pinky finger) as well as reviewing and previewing highbrow printmaking events and stores, this site covers all things printed and pressed. They’ve even followed our lead with their own DIY section: peeled–potato letter blocks, anyone?

5. Title Magazine titlemagazine.net What stands out about Title Magazine — new this year — is the photo–essays about the lives and practices of artists who are asked questions in interview form but must respond with visuals. Title also distinguishes itself by appreciating traditional art, but also “artists” who, for example, make old motorcycles work again.

Artistic Director Hannah de Keijzer chats with us about Green Chair Dance Group’s upcoming performance. Don’t miss the opening night of [insert absurdly long title here] in Annenberg! Street: What is Green Chair Dance Group? Hannah de Keijzer: Green Chair Dance Group is a collaborative dance–theater company. We make dances that are athletic, tender, accessible, frequently humorous and always full of the joy of moving together. Our dancing draws from diverse backgrounds in improvisation, linguistics, math and a wide swath of movement techniques. The tension of working collectively from distinct, strong personalities is an engine that drives our movement and resonates strongly in our performance presence. Street: What differentiates athletic dance theater? HDK: We call our style “athletic” because we do a lot of lifting, leaping, throwing each other around and floor work. We’re not afraid to sweat, and seem to have an affinity for putting the hardest, most cardiovascularly demanding sections at the end of our dances so we’re completely exhausted by the time the lights go out. Our movement training of course contributes to the style of our work — our backgrounds are in everything from capoeira to ballet, contact improvisation, yoga and contemporary dance. Street: What is Tandem Biking and Other Dangerous Pastimes for Two about? HDK: It’s about reliability, being stuck in a small space together for too long, geometry and Grandma’s cinnamon peaches. It’s about monuments and solitude and "guess what I’m feeling." And it’s about that thing that you can only figure out after you’ve known someone a really, really long time. Tandem Biking isn’t a narrative in a traditional sense — we jump back and forth in time a lot. It’s about both the dance itself and our characters’ relationships sustained over time. We talk about our characters’ imagined past Check out — the road trips we’ve an extended taken, the music we lisinterview ten to, the board games we play in a cabin in the with Green woods. It’s all in service Chair at to building the history 34st.com and present of our characters’ lives together.

Tickets: $20–$30, $10 student rush To purchase, call the Annenberg box office at 215–898–3900 or visit www.annenbergcenter.com.

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

Tandem Biking and Other Dangerous Pastimes for Two Green Chair Dance Group: Sarah Gladwin Camp, Hannah de Keijzer and Gregory Holt 2/3 and 2/4 at 7:30 p.m. The Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts Harold Prince Theater 3680 Walnut St.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

TANDEM BIKING AND OTHER DANGEROUS PASTIMES FOR TWO

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

Live

HeRe

radianapartments.com

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 16

You Should

Now Leasing for Fall 2012 Individual leases (per person) - w/ utilities included* Washer and dryer in every apartment Internet CafĂŠ & Private study room Fully furnished w/ full-size beds Ground floor shopping & dining State-of-the art fitness center 2-story city-view clubroom w/ walkout terrace 24-hour secured lobby access *restrictions apply on electric usage

40th & Walnut St. 215.222.4212

From graffiti to outer space, Philly offers some eccentric artistic explorations — matched by free wine, cheese and automatic sophistication — this month in Old City. DALET GALLERY

VOX POPULI

141 N. 2nd St.

319 N. 11th St.

If the appearance of a full moon has eerie effects on the average earthling, just imagine what it can do to an artist. Better yet, come observe the impact of this mysterious force in “Lunar Arrangements,” a show that brings together the works of six compelling artists at the Dalet Gallery this First Friday. The exhibit features a wide array of media and techniques from Miruna Budistianu’s dynamic line–work to Julie Miller’s surrealist, Magritte–esque mixed–media compositions. Don’t let the brooding, monochrome quality of the works fool you — you will be illuminated. — Inna Kofman

If following the tail of the ass in front of you (think OCR, rush and pony rides) has you questioning the path of our society, then consider stepping out of line and into Vox Populi. An artist collective located near Pine and 11th, Vox Populi disallows indifference with its four latest exhibitions by guest artists Carl Ferrero, Erik Geschke, Ron Lambert, Brian Barr and Lauren Rice. Each uses wacky and familiar materials to create avant–garde forms, such as Geschke’s abstract sculpture constructed from 65 plastic human femur bones. Collectively, the exhibitions push the limits of normality, critiquing contemporary society through the use of unappreciated materials of everyday life. — Kensey Berry

Unlikely Family at the World End by Julie Miller

JULES GOLDMAN BOOKS AND ANTIQUES 29 N. 2nd St.

Untitled (Social Engineering) by Eric Geschke

Dine-In, Catering & Delivery PENTIMENTI GALLERY

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri 5-7

145 N. 2nd St.

Lunch Special: Mon-Fri $8.95

If you’re into lines, geometry and art, Pentimenti Gallery highlights two upcoming artists in solo shows and showcases their fascination with these concepts. Steven Baris’s show, “Stations of the Cube," takes "cubism" literally, using mixed media to explore space through cubes, while Kim Beck’s “Built Futures” engages with society’s fixation with “desire, stability and economic security” through architecture in both drawings and sculpture. — Alexa Nicolas

Early Bird: Sun-Thur $10.95

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

It may seem to be outside of the conventional spectrum of minimalist, white–walled art galleries, but 30–year–old Jules Revenge of the Mayan Calendar 2010 Goldman Books by Brian Gormley and Antiques offers a different kind of exhibition space and an intriguing group show, “Modernists in Exile.” In a collection of works both abstract and representational, particularly notable are the pulsating, densely–patterned abstractions from Brian Gormley. His studio art derives from influences of greats like Keith Haring and Jean– Michel Basquiat, friends of his during the '80s, who brought graffiti inside and into critical focus. Along with the art, there’s an abundance of antique books, animal trinkets and old photographs to look through. So regardless of whether you’re looking to browse, study or buy, Jules Goldman has got it. — Lin Zheng

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

THANK GOD IT’S (FIRST) FRIDAY

PattayaRestaurant.com • 215.387.8533 4006 Chestnut Street • University City 17

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

LOWBROW

VAGMONS BY THE NUMBERS A. Demographic of Girls in VagMons

WEIGHS TO LOSE WEIGHT abard

B. Demographic of Audience at VagMons 1. Next time you’re at Kim’s food truck, stop by the big gray building next to it — the one that sells yummy smoothies.

Has friend(s) in show Just there for fun

2. Run a mile each time you find yourself on a new listserv. 3. Forget laxatives — for a sure way to shit yourself, just go past 50th St. 4. Stand next to your freshman friends.

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

C. Average Cell Phone Usage on Locust

5. Put up a picture of Amy Gutmann in your room as inspiration. (She’s 62 and looks not a pound heavier than 61.) 6. Try having sex without the whipped cream for a change. 7. If you live on the third floor of the Radian, take the stairs. Not to lose weight, but because everyone else thinks you’re an asshole. 8. Do your laundry in Hill. Your clothes will shrink and your body will have to keep up. 9. Stop eating Kalteen bars!

Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec

10. Read Lowbrow: we hear laughter really works out your abs. And we all know how attractive funny people are…

Alaskan Bros & Eski-hoes parties

No more Alaskan Bros & Eski-hoes parties

Order another pair of Ugg(ly)s

Naked laps around the Quad are humiliating enough without shriveled penis soliloquies

Drink vodka “to keep warm” and because you’re “not an alcoholic, I swear”

“Sun so hot, make the girls take it all off.” (Yeah, we listen to Hot Chelle Rae. So what?)

Delicious, flaming–hot pumpkin spice lattes sold at Metrosexual Cafe

Skinny dipping in the Biopond is finally socially acceptable, right?

Sexually inactive singles can continue not shaving their vagina monologues

Forget Dayglow; a shorter winter means Holi's right around the corner!

Delay the inevitable return of manktops on scrawny TEP bros.

SNOWPOCALYPSE 2012?

Warmer weather means shorter skirts at Hillel Easier to pass your walk of shame outfit off as a summer dress. (There’s still no reason you should be wearing heels on Locust. Or at Blarney.) It’s not the size of the winter; it’s how you use it!

An actual tweet from a Capo barista: "Hate all of these penn bitches buying sprinkles so fucking much." Don't forget to tip! @34st

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012

Too cold for Locust flyer–ers to obnoxiously promote their attempts to save eco–friendly, cancer–inflicted whales that sing and dance in West Philly schools

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

GROUNDHOG DAY: THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT

DIY:

With the stresses of Penn, sometimes you just need someone to tell you everything will be OK. Follow the directions to make a sw33t fortune teller (a la elementary school) and wow your friends, your acquaintances and yourself with how cool you are.

Cut along the dotted perimeter of the pattern

2. Fold as shown in the pic-

ture (you should have 4 equal– sized triangles at the end of this step)

Concentrate hard on your greatest desire… now keep networking

As you hear this fortune, your housemate is masturbating to pterodactyl porn in your bed

Tomorrow Locust will be slippery. Be aware brave soldier, and you will avoid a fall

These are not the droids Daddy said Goldyou're looking for definitely man’s going to take you

When you stop sniffling so loudly in VP, good karma will come your way

Fold corners in so they meet in the middle

4. Flip your creation over and repeat, folding the corners in to meet at the middle

You will wake up You will have 112 tomorrow and it will be excess meals at the end February 2nd again of the semester

Flip over again, this time folding your fortune teller in halves as pictured

6. Pop up the sides and place your thumb and forefinger into the paper

* Don’t remember how to read fortunes? Have a friend pick a color and move your fingers back and forth with each letter as you spell out the color. At the last letter, the fortune teller should now be open to numbers. Have your friend pick a number. Move your fingers back and forth as many times as the number indicates. Have them pick another number to find their fortune — lift the appropriate flap and read them their future!

You are ready to be Ms. Cleo*