03.24.2016

March 24-30, 2016 34st.com

STUDENTS LIVING AS MONKS FOR A MONTH FIND A COMMUNITY UNLIKE ANY OTHER

march 24

LETTERFROMTHEEDITOR

2016

LOL

I have theme songs for everything. Songs that remind me of how I felt at a certain time in a particular place with a specific person. Songs that I am obsessed with in that moment that make me feel alive.

I have never been a huge music fan. I don’t go to concerts (why would I pay money for something that sounds better on my iPhone?), it takes me weeks to get around to new releases (still haven’t seen the "Hotline Bling" video) and I have probably only listened to one album all the way through in my life. And yet, I am always listening to music.

Music has this special way of making everything better. People who are “really into music” make fun of me for listening to my favorite song on repeat until I hate it. But I love that doing this means that this one song will always be associated with one time in my life—it brings back memories better than anything else and, because I like the song, even the sad ones are good.

So I’m going to share my song of the week with you, my anthem for the rollercoaster I’ve been on lately. It’s called "Borderline," and it describes me, at this time, in this place, with these people, perfectly—for now.

I’ll have a new one next week, and I’ll probably find it on Street’s Spotify account. Hit up @34st–music and maybe you’ll find yours as well.

3 HIGHBROW

round up, overheards

4 WORD ON THE STREET never growing up

5 EGO

eotw: bla bla, penn people w/o facebook

LOL

LOL

LOL

LOL

LOL

7 TECH

fave iphone game, cool food/drink tech, app of the week: phoodielife

10 FEATURE monks

12 VICE & VIRTUE

exercise classes, food boy, cat cafe

15 FILM & TV

my golden days, h jon benjamin, kwh event

17 ARTS

slought, pop art @ PMA

19 LOWBROW LOL

reality shows

IT'S GETTING HOT OUT HERE, SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES. EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO ~BARE ARMS~ (AND LEGS AND TORSOS AND BUTTS) AT OUR WRITER'S MEETING TONIGHT. TL; DR: COME NAKED. 6:30PM, 4015 'NUT.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief Mikaela Gilbert-Lurie, Managing Editor Giulia Imholte, Audience Engagement Director Jeffrey Yang, Design Director Remi Lederman, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director Dani Blum, Features Editor Orly Greenberg, Features Editor Mark Paraskevas, Word on the Street Editor Steph Barron, Word on the Street Editor Emily Hason, Campus Editor Julie Levitan, Culture Editor Brandon Slotkin, Entertainment Editor Rachel Rubin, Lowbrow Editor

Melissa Curley, Music Beat Sydney Hard, Music Beat Talia Sterman, Music Beatlet Johanna Matt-Navarro, Music Beatlet Madison Bell-Rosof, Arts Beat Syra Ortiz-Blanes, Arts Beat Nick Joyner, Film and TV Beat Emily Schwartz, Film and TV Beat Zoe Albano-Oritt, Tech Beat Hannah Noyes, Tech Beat Dina Zaret, Vice & Virtue Beat Chloe Shakin, Vice & Virtue Beat Jackie Lawyer, Lowbrow Beat Jack Cody, Lowbrow Beat

Genny Hagedorn, Highbrow Beat Keara Jenkins, Highbrow Beat Elena Modesti, Ego Beat Genevieve Glatsky, Ego Beat 2

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Nadia Kim, Design Editor Sofie Praestgaard, Design Editor Alex Fisher, Photo Editor Katie Dumke, Photo Editor

Isabel Zapata, Photo Editor Sara Thalheimer, Copy Director Elana Waldstein, Copy Director Sola Park, Copy Editor Chloe Cheng, Copy Editor Blake Brashear, Social Media Editor Rhea Aurora, Social Media Editor Staff Writers: Frank Augello, Caroline Harris, Mike Coyne, Hallie Brookman, Olivia Fitzpatrick, Jillian Karande Staff Photographers: Gian Paul Graziosi, Brinda Ramesh, Julie Chu Cheong Contributors: Cassandra Kyriazis, Claire Schmidt, Byrne Fahey, Louise Tanski

Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Alex Fisher, Katie Dumke, Isabel Zapata, Gian Paul Graziosi, Brinda Ramesh, and Julie Chu Cheong.

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief, at johns@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898-6585.

To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581. www.34st.com "fuck me in my goat ass, both my feet fell asleep" ©2015 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

7 GREEN JUNGLE JUICE 8 YOU DRANK HIGHBROW

THINGS TO BLAME ON THE

Abandonment of your spring break diet

Ten consequences of the questionable mixed drink you downed on St. Fratty's Day.

1 2 3

Your broken wrist, finger, foot or general loss of physical dignity

Your unnecessary daylight DFMO

The broken fence/ wall/elevated surface you were dancing and/or climbing on

4 5 6

THEROUNDUP

Listen up, lads and lassies, because we’re letting you know the Irish jig is up. They say that at the end of every rainbow there’s a pot of gold, and here at Highbrow, we like that gold to be gossip. From your backlot blunders to your mishaps at DeckHaus, we can’t even be–Guiness to tell you about all the crazy *shit* that happened.

On second thought, you might want that extra shot of whiskey in your Bailey’s. This week’s Round Up won’t go down nearly as smooth.

It's confirmed that sketchy elevated surfaces are more reliable than muscley boys these days. Sources say that at a darty, an A’s guy tried to pick up a freshman in TriDelt but completely dropped her, which resulted in the girl breaking her finger. After the tumble, she realized the injury was so bad that she eventually had to go to the ER. We're sorry for our fallen friend's rotten luck

Excessive green– themed Instagrams and Snapchat stories

Excessive/obnoxious green outfits

The lucky charms you binge–ate in Allegro's Pizza

Regrettable drunk texts

9

The beautiful nap you took when you crashed

10

Questionably passing your midterm on Monday

this year, but hey, you can only go up when you’ve hit (sham)rock bottom.

This weekend was one of breaking fingers and, apparently, breaking the seal. At one Phi Delt house, two Oax freshmen took a hiatus from the party to locate a bathroom on one of the upper floors. Our eager pee– vers, after learning all the bathrooms were full, instead waddled their way to a nearby brother's room. In what we can only imagine was a feat of pure pissing excellence, the girls found what Highbrows hears was a "bowl" and peed in it, before hiding it under the unsuspecting boy’s bed. Highbrow urges all of you Phi Delt boys to check under your beds for a special surprise! If you thought that stale smell of week–old piss was really just your own musk, the jOax on you.

On the topic of makeshift toilet bowls, two freshmen girls in the Quad woke up in horror to find a random boy literally shitting in their room. When the girls asked the half–naked freshman what the actual fuck he was doing, he explained that he thought he was in his own room. In lieu of the poo, other Coxe residents in

over heard PENN at

Self–Conscious Betch on Locust: I need to go shopping. I realized I dress like I'm poor.

Professor Who Probably Doesn't Want This Published: If you wanted a good education you should've gone somewhere else.

Queen of Wharton: I was gonna fuck this guy, but he was just *so bad* at negotiations that I couldn't.

Ambitious ZBT Bro: Fun fact, our junior class is less Jewish than A’s junior class.

Concerned Girl on Spruce #1: Dude, I heard she slept in her own POOP. Concerned Girl #2: I feel bad for this girl, I really do.

Ware discovered a pair of “destroyed” boxers in the hall bathroom, and the Division of Public Safety even sent out an email to freshmen reminding them of the importance to always lock their doors. Although the shitty suspect is still unknown, we hope the victimized hall feces that justice is done.

Butt seriously, the ab–turdity should’ve stopped there.

While the party was winding down at Phi’s DeckHaus this past weekend, a group of unruly boys started banging on a neighboring apartment of Theta and Oax girls, asking to be let in. Woken up from their post–darty naps, the girls confronted the randos and ordered them to get off their fire escape. Twenty minutes later, a roommate discovered that one rejected, and clearly dejected, member of the group decided to drop a deuce right outside their door. Can we really blame him though for answering the call of doodie?

The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.

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WORD ON THE STREET

word on the STREET

W

HERE'S TO NEVER GROWING UP

hen I was in fourth grade, my favorite dinner table topic was “my future.” To the dismay of my older brother, I was obsessed with talking about every aspect of my assuredly–glorious life—my lucrative career as an ice cream truck driver, my husband, my kids, my dogs and my miniature pot–bellied pig. If the ice cream truck thing didn’t work out, I could always just open a bakery (still the plan). Any residual indecision could easily be resolved, of course, with the game MASH, which seemed to be the authority on the future anyway.

Ask me what I want to do with my life today, and I’ll give you a quizzical stare.

As it turns out, I don’t want to adult. I don’t want to worry about my laundry, my dishes, my taxes or my career. I don’t know what a 401(k) is (sorry, Penn). Sometimes I don’t shower for three days (sorry, roomies).

My signature is different every time I draw it (sorry, HubBub). It’s all very professional.

As the clock ticks on the time bomb that is real life, I often feel like my fourth–grade self would be more prepared for the world than current me.

Last summer, I practiced adulting. I moved

Illustration by Sofie Praestgaard 4

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BYRNE FAHEY

out of Penn dorms, started a real internship, fostered three tiny kittens and occasionally put on lipstick. I was also diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, a harsh reality which, in conjunction with the three cats, left me feeling closer to 80 years old than 20.

A lifelong autoimmune disease was, unfortunately, not outlined in the fourth–grade plan. Suddenly, my wrists were sore, my heels in pain and my knees achy. I couldn’t fasten my bra strap because my fingers were so swollen—I was back to the classic clipping in front and scooting it around method (popular in both seventh grade and on hungover mornings). Sandals would no longer cut it for the walk home from work. My Google search for “cute and orthotic–friendly shoes” yielded no results.

On one hand, arthritis was a reality check that it was really time to be an adult—to start prioritizing my health and taking care of myself. On the other (swollen, stiff) hand, nothing has ever left me feeling so clueless and childish.

My low point arrived in the waiting room of the lab one day in July, as I was waiting to have blood drawn to check up on severe anemia. “Do you have blood in your stools?” My doctor had asked minutes before, puzzled over my dropping hemoglobin levels. I smirked and shook my head that, no, I was not pooping blood. She sent me to the lab anyway, where for a moment, my frustration overcame me.

That afternoon, I bit back tears. I was exhausted from work, from cleaning up kitten puke, from medical uncertainty. I didn’t want to cry in front of the assortment of people in the waiting room, who almost certainly had bigger problems to deal with than I did.

When they handed me my goodie bag on the way out, aka my take–home stool

How three cats and a diagnosis made adulthood too real.

sample kit, my tears dissipated, and I laughed for five minutes straight. If you’ve never had the pleasure of receiving a DIY stool sample kit, you have truly missed out on one of life’s most thoughtful gifts. The contents include: one sombrero–shaped plastic white bucket (for shitting), two blue latex gloves (for picking up your own shit), one tiny glass vial (for containing and delivering your shit) and one brown paper bag (for pretending it’s lunch and not a literal bag of shit).

I’ll spare you the details, but it was gross and hilarious, and the best part of the whole thing was throwing out a hat full of my feces in my ex–boyfriend’s garbage.

If anything has made me feel like an infant again, it was pooping in a hat. In contrast, every five minutes I have spent alone in the waiting room of the rheumatology office has aged me ten years.

Having arthritis has been like that—a constant back–and–forth of my own perception of my maturity. I feel in control, adult, competent, and then I am floored by my smallness, my lack of knowledge and by the vastness of what maybe lies ahead. Driving myself to New Jersey for a doctor’s appointment felt adult, until the doctor looked at me drowning in the pink paper gown and held his arm out for a fist bump. Researching medication options on my own was mature, but I couldn’t help but feel like a college–aged idiot as I tried to explain to my doctor that I couldn’t go on methotrexate, the most common medication but also one that is not alcohol–friendly, because I prioritized my Thursday night Long Island iced teas. When it comes to adulting, I don’t want to pick a side.

But maybe, hopefully, definitely, that’s okay because when it comes down to it, it’s not the arthritis making me feel young, then old, then young again. It’s being in college, and the fact that we’re all just toeing the line of adulthood—barely–20–somethings bumbling around and pretending to have an inkling about how we want to live our lives.

Unless, of course, you actually do feel like an adult, in which case I hope that works out for you, and that your plan doesn’t involve pooping in any hats.

EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: BOBBY LUNDQUIST

The universally well–liked host of Bread and Jamz gets deep and talks masculinity, vulnerability and his vision for a more inclusive Penn community.

Street: How did you get involved with MARS? Bobby Lundquist: There was open rush for fraternities, so I went and then kind of started liking the people that I was spending time with. Also, I was insecure about my masculinity, and I thought that being in an all–male space would help me relate to men better, and also I would figure out what type of man I wanted to be. The first mixer that we had was 'CEOs and office hoes' themed. I almost dropped. I was like, ‘There’s no way.’ I was thinking maybe we could try and change this community to think about what it does in a more critical sense. Part of pledging is you go to MARS presentations and they present to you about sexual violence and prevention by being an active bystander. I was sitting in the presentation, jaw dropped, like ‘This is it. This is what I’ve been looking for.’

Street: Tell me about Bread and Jamz.

BL: For Fisher Hassenfeld (Ed. note: He's an RA there), we do office hours where you host a study break essentially. So I wanted to go big on it. It’s this two–hour kickback gathering every week, and I make bread and play music. I worked in the back–country hostel summer after freshman year, and part of the job was baking bread for the guests. Baking bread for me is very cathartic.

Street: What do you love most about Penn?

BL: The love that exists at Penn. The love that is present is really strong when you experience it. I think it’s profound and can change your perspective and how you see the world.

Street: What do you love the least about Penn?

BL: I'm very frustrated at why some institutions reinforce certain behaviors at Penn and why communities reinforce certain norms, too. One example is Greek life. As an RA, I see my freshmen move in and they’re super pumped to be here. The first night, they go out, and they experience having to get into a social space by objectifying themselves and becoming a number of the ratio.

Night one, in order to have fun and be socially accepted, you already have to change the way that you think about yourself.

Street: Do you see a solution to that problem?

BL: My observations have led me to believe that in order to create more widespread culture change, we have to work on two fronts. One is working with the institutions that already exist and reinforce certain unhealthy or toxic behaviors. But on the other end is to try and create alternative spaces.

Street: What advice would you give to your freshman– year self?

BL: I wrote a whole letter on this. The letter is titled "No Silver Bullets." That for me has meant—at least at this point looking back—over the past three and a half years, I built up a belief that if I found the right key, I could open the door and get into this place that would be happiness and success. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that that key doesn’t exist.

Street: What would be your dream job?

BL: One idea that I’ve had is

opening up a bakery–café– community center in a town that would hopefully be close to mountains where I could go hike. It would be a small family–run business that would hopefully be something positive in the community.

And have the Three C’s covered, which would be caffeine, calories and community. I think I’d probably call it Bread and Jamz.

Street: If you were going to be famous for something, what would it be for?

BL: I would hope that it would be for how I treat other people. And also, importantly, how I treat myself. Because that’s hard, and I think it’s ignored. So a practice of compassion and self–compassion.

Street: If you were going to be infamous for something, what would it be for?

BL: My mom always makes fun of me for jumping into things and not thinking. One time, when she was away, there was a fork stuck in the garbage disposal. She had explicitly told me not to turn it on, but I did it anyway. And nothing happened. But I just zone out and do things without thinking. So maybe it would be for losing my hand in a garbage disposal.

Street: If you are what you eat, then what are you?

BL: A honeycrisp apple. The whole apple. The core and the stem. I read an article about how we should eat the whole apple, and it was really passionate, and I haven’t turned back since.

Street: There are two types of people at Penn…

BL: The people breathing in and the people breathing out.

Street: Describe yourself in three words.

BL: Young sourdough starter.

A sourdough starter is a wild yeast. But the process of making a starter is a long one. It develops flavor over time and builds up its power to produce this effect of causing the bread to rise towards its purpose.

So right now, I feel like I’m a young sourdough starter.

I’m trying to develop my essence and find my purpose by absorbing and taking in my surrounding environment.

Street: If you could have a drink with anyone in history, who would it be?

BL: Angela Davis. She wrote this really awesome book on blues and feminism.

Name: Bobby Lundquist Hometown: Wynnewood, PA Major: Philosophy, Politics and Economics, concentration in Distributive Justice Activities: Residential Advisor in Fisher Hassenfeld, MARS, Philomathean Society, Williams Café, Sphinx, PAVE

INTERVIEW CONDUCTED

BY GENEVIEVE GLATSKY

Street: What’s one question I forgot to ask you?

BL: I thought you were going

to ask something like, ‘What are you working on?’

Street: What are you working on?

BL: I’m working on being more authentic to myself and being vulnerable. I think it’s true that the only way to reach true emotional clarity is by being emotionally vulnerable. And I have a hard time being vulnerable. And I definitely do put up the Penn Face. I have a hard time practicing self–compassion. So what I’m working on is trying to become a better person in accordance with whatever ideals I hold and values I hold. That young sourdough starter thing. I’m trying to grow in the right way. Also being kind to myself and accepting myself along the way.

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EGO

A NEW LOOK AT FACEBOOK

Penn students without Facebook accounts speak out about their decision to deactivate or delete Facebook altogether— posting bikini photos from spring break will have to wait.

JODI MARCUS (C '18)

JULIA FORDHAM (C '16)

AARON DARDIK (C '17)

REBECCA COMPOSTO (C '18)

NATASHA DAVENPORT (C '18)

Street: Why did you delete your Facebook?

Jodi Marcus: Facebook is super helpful logistically. That's why I've only deactivated as opposed to deleting my account completely. I still sign in from time to time to check events or access old pictures, etc. The main issue for me was this idea of actively constructing a certain, flattering image of myself on my own profile.

doing! Live your own life. Stop caring.

Street: Why did you delete your Facebook?

Julia Fordham: I deleted my Facebook at the beginning of sophomore year, mainly as a way to stop wasting time and focus more on school. I quickly realized that there were still a million things to distract me from getting work done, so Facebook was never really the problem. I went a week without missing it and decided not to go back. That was almost three years ago.

JF: A measure of self–worth (Ed. note: This is five words, but we'll let it slide).

Street: Why did you delete your Facebook?

Aaron Dardik: Honestly, I really don't like seeing people happy without me.

Street: What is the best and worst part of Facebook?

RC: I've never used Facebook for these purposes, but I would guess the best part of Facebook is finding out about cool events and keeping in touch with friends from far away.

events and birthdays.

Street: Why do you think a lot of people at Penn are so dependent/obsessed with Facebook?

JM: Everyone gives such a fuck Street: Facebook in three about what other people are words...

Street: What's the best and worst part about Facebook?

AD: Best: You get to see people who've gotten fatter. Worst: You have to see people who've gotten hotter.

Street: Why do you think a lot of people at Penn are so dependent/obsessed with Facebook?

AD: Low self–esteem.

Street: Facebook in three words..

AD: Too many teenagers.

there’s like a 50% chance you’ll blackout

(but we’re cool with that)

$20 to enter • Show PennCard & Pay in Cash for 8% off BIG Parties up to 300 people • no corking fee • Room rentals available

215-467-1005 6

www.phillyiztaccihuatl.com

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Street: Why did you delete your Facebook?

Rebecca Composto: In high school, I made a Facebook because I wanted a discount at a clothing store, and you could get 50 percent off your first purchase if you liked their page. Then I found out you also had to invite five friends to like their page, and that seemed like too much. I don't use Facebook because I don't want the pressure to update my profile with a cool post or to look at other people's cool posts.

Street: Why do you think a lot of people at Penn are so dependent/obsessed with Facebook?

RC: Facebook is a combination of news, texting and email.

It's a constant stream of new information, and getting new information can be pretty addicting.

Street: What is the worst/ most embarrassing thing you have seen someone post on Facebook?

ND: I have seen some pretty embarrassing party pictures that people's friends have memed... I probably shouldn't go into detail for their sake.

Street: Why do you think a lot of people at Penn are so dependent/obsessed with Facebook?

ND: Like all social media I think people use it so much just to put off work. Also as I mentioned earlier, some parts of Facebook can be helpful.

Street: What changes would Many groups on campus use Facebook have to make in it to promote events and even order for you to get one? group projects for class have RC: If you could touch some- used it to communicate. And one's picture on Facebook and of course there is the stalking. be transported to that location, I'll even admit to having my I would use Facebook avidly. friends with Facebook look up people for me.

Street: Why did you delete your Facebook?

Street: Sentiments on FaceNatasha Davenport: I don't book in three words... have a Facebook because I ND: Waste of time think its just another way for me to procrastinate, which I Street: What changes would can't afford.

Facebook have to make in order for you to get one?

Street: What is the best and ND: Honestly, Facebook probworst part of Facebook? ably can't make a change that ND: The worst part might be would make me join. The only the pictures simply because way I can see myself getting you never know what others one is if an employer asked me. will post of you! The best parts INTERVIEWS CONDUCTED BY of Facebook are probably the ELENA MODESTI

TECH

WHAT DOES YOUR

IPHONE GAME ADDICTION

SAY ABOUT YOU?

This will literally redefine your entire life.

A few years back, iPhone games were all the rage. I still remember those long–lost high school free periods that I spent sitting in the cafeteria, actively ignoring my friends so I could focus my complete attention on that week's hottest—or dumbest—game. But have you ever wondered what your old choice in iPhone game says about your personality now? Worry no more, because you're about to find out.

WORDS WITH FRIENDS

You want to have fun, but you also want to feel smart while you do so.

Nothing satisfies you more than hitting the triple word score box or using all seven of your letters. You're an English major and you don't let any of your friends forget it. Please, tell me more about how you're the next great American author.

TEMPLE RUN

You refuse to play Temple Run 2 because you're stubborn and think that it's a cheap knockoff of the original. You can be found in Pottruck every day, but funnily enough, it never seems to be leg day. Why work out your physical legs when you have virtual ones that work just fine?

ZOE ALBANO–ORITT

CANDY CRUSH

You're not quite a trendsetter, but you wish you were. You probably wear Canada Goose and Adidas Stan Smiths while you SABS in Frontera. Yes, you should definitely finsta that pic.

No, don't use a filter. No one uses filters anymore.

SOLITAIRE

You're a purist, uninterested in whatever fad is currently sweeping the nation.

You know what you like and you are unapologetic. You find yourself eating in Commons every night, with or without friends, because you're still on the meal plan and you're going to get your money's worth, goddammit!

FLAPPY BIRD

You're either a masochist, or you hate yourself. That's about it.

DRAW SOMETHING

You're a little bit of a wild card. Sometimes you put effort into your drawings, but sometimes you just make the drawing as fucked up as possible so your adversary gives up and you get the maximum amount of coins. You probably skip classes frequently and then ask your classmates what the homework is even though you have a copy of the syllabus just like the rest of us.

2048

You're a problem solver, and you love logic.

You've probably made it to at least the 4096 tile in this game, and whenever you screw up your strategy, you let loose an extremely audible "FUCK!" into the hallways of DRL.

ANGRY BIRDS

We honestly have nothing to say to you. What the fuck? You're better than this. It's 2016.

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TECH

APP OF THE WEEK:

PHOODIELIFE Finally—a place where you can drool over ice cream and bagels without being distracted by all the actual humans on your Insta feed.

It's hard to miss the borderline–pornographic pictures of food filling your newsfeed. Whether it's Snapchat, Instagram or Facebook, our generation clearly has a taste for food pics. If you sit inside Farmacy or Sabrina's for more than five minutes, there is a good chance you will see a Penn student (or 12) trying to find the perfect lighting and angle for her runny eggs and s'mores french toast.

This picture is then either edited and posted to Instagram and Facebook, or marred by those heinous "Philly" geotags and storied on Snapchat. While some haven't yet satisfied their craving for foodporn, others think that their feeds are starting to feel a little...stuffed. I guess some people out there just don't give a shit about your #hangovercure Bloody Mary from White Dog or your artfully–arranged bouquet of popsicles from Lil Pop Shop.

Well fuck them. Whether you're a culinary paparazzi who can't be tamed or are still just hungry for more food pics, download Phoodie for a safe and mouth–watering space to get your fix.

HOW IT WORKS:

Phoodie adds a social component to your food pics.

With a format almost identical to Instagram, the only difference is that the models and muses for each picture are edible. Once you've created your profile and followed some accounts, you're ready to go. Just like Instagram, you can scroll through your feed to see the pictures that the people you follow have posted, or use the discover page to search for other users, locations and hashtags. On the discover page, the photos are divided into two sections: nearby and worldwide. That way, if you see something delicious that you need to try, you can look at the

restaurant where the photo was added and go and try it. If you see something you like, you can save the picture to your personal "kitchen" (pictures of food) or "bar" (pictures of drinks).

You can then go back here to admire any pictures you saved, and torture yourself with their beautiful deliciousness. When you upload a picture, you can add the restaurant where it was taken, a caption and also a recipe and list of ingredients. This way your followers can not only drool over what you’re having, but also try to make it themselves. Don’t annoy people on

social media by stuffing their timelines and news feeds full of food. Instead, connect with the other foodies and food–photogs waiting eagerly—and hungrily—on Phoodie.

PRO TIP:

Need some new edible subjects? Check out Street's Spring Dining Guide for some inspiration.

AARON KIM

FOOD PORN IS THE BEST KIND OF PORN BECAUSE A PICTURE OF EGGS BENEDICT WILL NEVER GIVE YOUR COMPUTER VIRUSES AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY THAT IT'S GOING TO CREATE UNREALISTIC SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR PERFORMANCE IN BED. 8

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highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

FILM FILM FILMT E C H

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ST STST

EVERYTHING YOU NEEDDO DO DOYOU YOU YOUPAY PAY PAYPER PER PERVIEW? VIEW? VIEW?Because what else

How How How P

FOR YOUR OFF–CAMPUS KITCHEN

would we spend our Film Film Film polled polled polled you you you totofitond fifind nd out out out how how how you you you are are are getting getting getting your your your Sunday Sunday Sunday afternoon afternoon afternoon college budget on?

BYBY ANTHONY BYANTHONY ANTHONY KHAYKIN KHAYKIN KHAYKIN movie movie movie fixes. fifixes. xes.

Here’s Here’s Here’s what what what wewe we learned. learned. learned.

Available for pre–order, the Somabar is a wifi–enabled craft cocktail maker for home use. Basically, this is a Nespresso machine for cocktails.

Say goodbye to Banker's and Coke and hello to customizable cocktails in seconds.

We’d like one for every room in our house please. Available for only $429 (aka get ready to sell your soul in order to split the tab with your eight roommates).

Number of Wharton Behavioral Labs necessary to

pay for this: Approximately 43. Better get crackin'.

TT T

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Next week’s Dining Guide had us inspired to check out the techy kitchen gadgets on the market right now. However, upon further inspection, we realized how ridiculously expensive/nonsensical these items are. Here is a roundup of the most ridiculous ones; we listed them next to some typical Penn purchases/ money–earners so you can see just how many Wharton Behavioral Labs you'll have to do in order to have it in your Beige Block kitchen.

• 215.387.8533 • •215.387.8533 PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com 215.387.8533 • University • •University 4006 4006 4006 Chestnut Chestnut Chestnut Street Street Street University City City City

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8 88 M A R C H 24 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

9

F E AT U R E

F E AT U R E

by EMILY SCHWARTZ

STUDENTS LIVING AS MONKS FOR A MONTH FIND A COMMUNITY UNLIKE ANY OTHER

T

he gates are locked. A group of Penn students stand in the dark outside Woodlands Cemetery, contemplating how to enter the grounds. Their task?

Search the 54–acre graveyard filled with thousands of graves for the one tombstone with red–letter Japanese writing. Silently.

The group heads to the back and decides to climb the fence, hoisting each other over one by one. They disperse and wander through the fog with the same goal in mind: Find the grave. Once they do, they head back to campus and begin their days of class. Aside from the 16 students in on the plan, no one else knows of the outing.

The students aren’t on a scavenger hunt. They’re enrolled in RELS 356, Professor Justin McDaniel’s course on monastic and ascetic ways of living, offered every other year. Asceticism, a lifestyle involving self–discipline and restraint from indulgence, is a practice linked to Buddhism, Christianity and Islam, among other religions.

The class, “Living Deliberately: Monks, Saints, and the Contemplative Life,” requires students to live as monks for a full month of their semester. After practicing monasticism—and isolating themselves from their typical Penn lives in the process— students come away with a unified community, one unobtainable anywhere else on campus.

"

***

“I want to get into the raw experience of actually doing things, and I want the students to do that as well.

So there’s no exams, there’s no papers, there’s no read-

getting used to the restrictions in preparation for one month in the middle of the semester where the rules are at their strictest. “The goal of almost every monastic system throughout the world is the building of hyper–aware-

there's no exams, there's no papers, there's no readings, but its a very difficult course."

ing, but it’s a very difficult course.”

Justin McDaniel, creator and professor of the course and Religious Studies Department Chair, aims to teach students how monks and nuns live the ascetic life in order to understand their souls and lives. To do so, McDaniel divides the course into several types of restrictions. No eating processed or packaged foods, or eating when it’s dark outside. No dressing in colors other than white for men, black for women. No speaking to anyone except for the professor and one designated partner in the course. No touching themselves or others. No spending more than $50–80 per week. No technology.

“You’re basically plain, as plain as possible…and it’s not for you, it’s so that you’re not a distraction, you’re not noticed by others,” McDaniel said.

Students spend the first few weeks of the course

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ness of your thoughts, your speech, and your body,” McDaniel explained.

The rules regarding communication are especially challenging.

At first, students are allowed to speak freely. After a few weeks, students are restricted to one hour of internet usage a day and only roughly 100 spoken words.

Finally, once the one–month stretch arrives, students are reduced to complete silence.

No verbal communication, no cellphones, no texting— nothing.

“That was definitely a big challenge,” said Julia Hintlian, a senior religious studies major. “Not being able to call my mom, not being able to have that person to check in with everyday.

You’re on your own.”

Because students cannot use technology during their month of silence, they handwrite their essays and applications. “That was probably the most challenging part

because you couldn’t get back to people who would send you emails and I was applying for a summer internship,” Julia shared. “Every time there was paperwork, applications to fill out, written by hand…a lot of things that we take for granted I had to go out of my way to do.”

A majority of the course’s former students noticed a dramatic improvement in their academic performance during the semester that they took the class. Although balancing other courses may seem impossible given the course’s restrictions, students have had surprisingly few problems. “I have a 100% success rate in the four times I’ve taught the course, not one student has ever gotten lower grades. And almost every student’s grades have shot up,” Professor McDaniel shares.

Professor McDaniel attributes this rise to the amount of time that is no longer wasted on “empty communication” like social media and other forms of technology.

Khadija Tarver (C ‘16) thinks it may have to do with the class’s tight structure. “I just did my work because you don’t really have that much to do,” Khadija explains.

“You can’t talk to anybody, you can’t read for pleasure, you just are allowed to do your work and then exist in life.”

And with strict rules come strict punishments. Students are divided into four–person rule–breaking committees

that rotate with each infraction. These punishments include counting every window and door in the Harrison high rise, counting grains of rice, repeatedly walking the crosswalks of the intersection at 34th and Walnut—all in an attempt to gain awareness. “[It] was a good way to take a step back from life and just view it from the outside and get a clarity that you don't get when you’re actively involved with everything all the time,” Julia said.

***

Essential to an understanding of the course is an understanding of the man behind it all. Above all, McDaniel is a storyteller.

Jacob Wallenberg (W ‘16), a brother of Psi Upsilon (commonly known as Castle) and IFC president, was inspired to take the class after hearing McDaniel speak about Buddhism at his fraternity. “More than anything he’s a fantastic storyteller. It was Halloween and I was in a costume... but he was so good at telling the story that by the end we were just sitting and staring at him.”

Born into an extremely religious Catholic family, McDaniel first explored Buddhism at age 19, when he met monks while living in Laos and Thailand.

He taught Buddhism and comparative religion courses in Southern California and noticed that his students were also fascinated by monastic

life.

“A question I would always raise to them in all my larger classes is, ‘Why has almost every religion across the globe posited the idea that you have to suffer in order to get paradise?’” McDaniel explained.

“What if instead of tackling this fundamental question in the human experience, why not try to just do what monastics do, instead of studying about them through texts? That was the basic premise of the idea.”

McDaniel strives to build a diverse atmosphere for his students, partly through a comprehensive application process for the class. The process involves an interview and a test comprised of conceptual questions—such as describing the difference between a bell and a whistle—aimed at unearthing the students’ way of thinking.

As a result, the course connects people from all across campus.

“They’re out of their peer group, and they get to hear different stories and different experiences and I think that’s important for them,” McDaniel says. “We say in college that you’re going to have a diverse experience but most of us actually just go to our own groups.”

“I think one of the things that this class does is it allows you to introspect a lot more and learn a lot more about yourself,” Khadija says. “I just wanted to do something challenging, something different, something you don't really get an opportuni-

ty to do at any other school and just see what, kind of, I need to do as a person.”

Beyond academic life, students made surprising discoveries in their own personalities.

“Immediately after I was just so much quieter,” Khadija admits. After a month of not speaking, Khadija found herself recognizing the mindless chatter that used to be part of her daily life.

Refraining from communication helped drastically change the way she now connects.

“I definitely have a different approach to communication.

It’s more, ‘Does that thing need to be said? What are the effects of the things you have to say?’ When it comes to the meaningful things I’m a lot less rash or quick off the gun.”

Yet as each student recognized new things in themselves, they recognized new things in each other, making the community stronger. “For me personally, there were a lot of things that I wanted to change for myself and I did change for myself,” Khadija shared. “Kind of grappling with who you are, who you want to be and how you want people to see you.”

KHADIJA TARVER (C'16)

***

“It’s an interesting experience doing it in a place like this because it creates a contrast,” Jacob explained.

Jacob took the class while living in his fraternity house and felt that striking a balance of the two lifestyles is nearly impossible. “Coming into a room where there’s been a party and you can still sort of feel it and you know that you’re just not a part of this at all. It’s not compatible.”

What Jacob was a part of, though, was a community of people who connected on a deeper level despite this incompatibility. It is this factor of the tight–knit group that makes “Living Deliberately” unique.

"I think I was in the dining hall of our house and one other guy who’s taking

the class with me is in the room with me, and the third guy comes in, and realized that it’s just the three of us and none of us can talk, and we just sort of look at each other, nod a little bit, giggle a little bit, and the laughter escalates," Jacob remembers.

“Someone walks in who isn’t in the class, and he just sees three people who haven’t spoken in three weeks stand with each other and laugh at nothing."

“I remember coming into class that Monday when we were free and everybody had these huge grins on their faces,” Julia recalls. “Not necessarily because we were happy that it was over but also because we understood what we had been through.”

***

Justin McDaniel’s “Living

Deliberately” course is tough, but students experience it together. They enroll for the purpose of religious study and self–discovery, but leave with a group of people unlike any other on campus. With McDaniel, this does not go unnoticed.

“It makes me happy just thinking about the course because they’re wonderful. And when you’re old like me, you start to get very depressed about the young generation,” Professor McDaniel sighs.

“This completely renews my faith in the future of humanity. It’s like wow, we have some really wonderful, wonderful human beings. Let their minds settle and wow, it’s really impressive.”

Emily Schwartz is a freshman in the College from Chicago.

She is a Film and TV Beat for Street.

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VICE & VIRTUE

CATS, COFFEE, COMPANIONSHIP...

Le Cat Café is a cat café. That's a thing now, apparently.

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855-205-0500 | universityrealtyapartments.com 1 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E M A R C H 24 , 2 016

CATS “A long time ago, I found a cat that needed a home,” says Kathy Jordan, president and founder of Green Street Rescue. “And, like potato chips, one cat leads to another.”

Since then, she has rescued over 3,000 cats and founded “Le Cat Café,” a multifaceted establishment. Its purposes include educating people about getting their cats fixed in order to prevent unwanted kittens from being born and about the need to take care of strays, as well as introducing people who have never had a pet to how great it is to own one and encouraging people to adopt. It’s like a regular cafe, but instead of offering a selection of sandwiches and pastries, it offers a chance to get to know cats in need of a home over coffee. “It’s taking our living rooms and making them public,” says Kathy. “And the more cats get adopted, the more cats we can take off the street.

So when you adopt one cat, you’re really saving two.”

She sits at a round, Parisian café–style table at “Le Cat Café,” in a sweatshirt that bears the slogan “I just want to drink wine, rescue cats and take naps.” Volunteer Katie Schwartz clears the other tables in the café in preparation for the weekly “Cats and Mats” yoga class, a time for the humans in the café to relax and for the cats to rest, join or interfere as they wish. Cheerio, apparently named for the color of

his fur, leaps up onto the chair next to her and puts his paws on the table. He wants to be interviewed too.

Cheerio was found by an elderly woman who used to feed the stray cats around her Philadelphia home. Not having the money or resources to help the dehydrated, overheated cat on that 110– degree day, she emailed Kathy asking her to rescue him.

Kathy took him to the vet, got him “snipped,” vaccinated and tested, got rid of his fleas and parasites, and brought him home. “And he became Cheerio, the silly, happy, loveable boy he is,” says Kathy, as Cheerio dives for the squeaky toy that his best friend, a black–and–white cat named Kinky Boots, is playing with.

Green Street Rescue receives many complaints about filthy vagrant cats in the city. “They [the complainants] don’t associate a cat on the street with a cat that’s adoptable. They can’t see Cinderella in the cat that’s on the street,” says Kathy.

Unlike other cat café’s, “Le Cat Café” rescues the cats themselves instead of going to an animal shelter. “We rescue them from the street, in the dead of winter or the heat of summer, pregnant, sick, injured, homeless, filthy, starving,” says Kathy. “We see them go from rags to

riches, from living outside and suffering to going to sleep on a king–sized bed…We know these cats intimately from the day of rescue.”

Katie pushes a small box on wheels out of the way to clear more space. Snoops, a white cat covered in black and brown patches, doesn’t move from the shadows of the bottom shelf. She was found in North Philadelphia having given birth to a litter of kittens. “Le Cat Café” had three single kittens, all of whom needed a nursing mother. Snoops took them on.

She nursed for almost three months before all of the kittens were adopted. She hid for her first few days at the café, but, according to Kathy, “she’s learning that it’s not so bad.”

Kathy believes that a “cat person” is “someone who has compassion, someone who enjoys companionship.” Katie agrees, and she adds that one of the major differences between “cat people” and “dog people” is “you don’t really own a cat, you’re just comfortable co– existing with it.”

In the high stress, commitment–phobic and often impersonal environment Penn students inhabit, adopting a cat—or at least paying a visit to some—might just be exactly what we need.

STEPH BARRON

FOOD BOY:

VICE & VIRTUE

PEANUT BUTTER BANANA OATMEAL BREAKFAST COOKIES

Only three ingredients! Can you guess what they are?

So last week’s brunch recipe is great for the weekends, but for the other 5/7ths of the week, mornings usually aren't as leisurely.

Instead of scrambling some eggs, I’m always scrambling to grab my backpack and a granola bar on my way out the door while tryna be on time (for once) to my 9 a.m. I want to have time for a good breakfast, but I also want to look cute AF for my stroll down Locust to class just in case I meet my soulmate. (Don’t tell me you’ve never though that; we’ve all thought that). After repeatedly experiencing the embarrassment that comes with my tummy audibly rumbling in class, I came up with this healthy, pre–made breakfast recipe. Protein from the peanut butter, fiber from the granola and ~natural sugar~ from the banana all add up to a guilt–free cookie that wakes you up and keeps you fuller longer. Make a batch on Sunday night and start all your weekdays off right.

INGREDIENTS: • • •

(makes ~8 cookies; $2.00/batch)

2 bananas (~$0.75 each from FroGro) 2 tablespoons peanut butter ($2.59/jar from FroGro) 1 cup oats ($2.49/18–oz can from FroGro)

PROCEDURE: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mash the bananas with a fork or masher in a bowl.

Add the peanut butter and mix until blended.

Add the oats and mix until blended.

Drop tablespoons of batter on a baking sheet and bake for ten to 12 minutes.

TIPS AND TRICKS: If you’ve been reading other Food Boy articles, you probably know what my first tip is, but for the newbies: you can also bake these in a toaster oven without preheating by setting the dials to “Bake” and “350 degrees.” The ratios in this recipe are pretty flexible and customizable; for a more peanut–buttery taste, add some more peanut butter or fewer bananas. You can substitute out the oats for granola or muesli cereal—I love Alpen muesli ($3.99/box) which has raisins and chopped almonds and hazelnuts. You can also throw in some dried fruit, chopped nuts or anything you like. Food Boy can fix your no–time–for–breakfast problem, but I can’t fix your no–soulmate–on–Locust problem, unless you, dear reader, are my soulmate. Only one way to find out: Seduce me by trying my recipes and reading Street and telling me I’m pretty. See you on Locust ;).

FRANK AUGELLO

DO YOU LOVE FOOD BOY? SAMESIES. HE'S LIKE THE ILLEGITIMATE LOVE CHILD OF RIHANNA AND RACHAEL RAY. HEAD OVER TO 34ST.COM FOR ONLINE EXCLUSIVE VERSIONS OF THE COLUMN, AND MAYBE YOU'LL BE INSPIRED COOK SOMETHING LIKE A FUCKING ADULT INSTEAD OF EATING CHIPOTLE FOR THE NINTH CONSECUTIVE NIGHT.

M A R C H 24 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 3

5

VICE & VIRTUE

FUN WORKOUT CLASSES TO GET YOU OUT OF YOUR FITNESS RUT

Spring break is over. That means goodbye to your friends' annoying #PVdiet bitching and hello to a beautiful greasy slice of Lorenzo's pizza. But if you feel like working off a long night of drunk eats, have no fear: Philly is home to some of the most fun workout classes that fly by faster than you can say Pottruck.

For when you can't wait in line for a Pottruck treadmill any longer

1) POLE DANCING

CHLOE SHAKIN

Where: Flaunt Fitness, 1939 S 17th Street | 267-699-6636

What: With a motto that says "Get fit & flaunt it" and classes that range from "Beginner Pole" to "Seductive Dance/Floor Work," it shouldn't be hard to figure out what kind of dancing you'll be doing in this workout class. After 60 minutes, you'll have a newfound appreciation for those climbs and spins the pros do. And for the next week, your aching arms and legs will remind you to stop saying, "I'm just going to quit school and become a stripper" every time you bomb an assignment. $: Pole classes are $15 and dance classes are $10 for all non–members.

Insider Tip: Wear shorts. There's a reason why strippers preform nearly naked—that direct skin–to–pole friction might hurt like a bitch, but it's a must for some of the more complicated moves.

2) HOOPFIT Where: Studio 34, 4522 Baltimore Avenue | 215-387-3434 What: This 60–minute class involves oversized hula hoops to strengthen and tone core muscles. Before your awkward dance moves during Bar Mitzvah season '08 come back to haunt you, get this: one class burns up to 400-600 calories. $: $12, plus no pre–registration: such a perk for the indecisive.

Insider Tip: Other classes offered at Studio 34 include different variations of yoga (beginner, align and flow, restorative) and other wild–card classes like African drumming and Zumba.

3) AQUA AEROBICS Where: Sweat Fitness Center City, 1425 Arch Street | 215-564-0303 What: Aquamotion classes at Sweat Fitness's new Center City location involve water aerobics with cardio intervals and kick–board work. $: Classes at certain times are labeled free for non-members.

Insider Tip: The pool is saltwater, which is less drying and damaging than chlorine.

BYO friends, swim cap and one–piece if you want to reenact that semi–creepy birth control commercial.

4) AERIAL AND ACROBATIC YOGA Where: Kaya Aerial Yoga, 225 Quarry Street, Old City | 215-550-5344

What: Kaya's aerial yoga classes use silk hammocks that are suspended from the ceiling to deepen stretches and increase flexibility. Classes are offered seven days a week to cater to every skill level, so beginners are always welcome. $$: Starter membership is $69/month.

Insider Tip: Make sure you wear close–fitting clothing to avoid flashing strangers.

1 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E M A R C H 24 , 2 016

FILM & TV

IT'S FRENCH AND IT'S SAD: ARNAUD DESPLECHIN'S

MY GOLDEN DAYS

It’s rare that dramas get prequel installments, especially 20 years after their characters were created. But when you’ve had a career like Arnaud Desplechin's, genre conventions no longer matter. A darling of the French film circuit, the French director screened his tenth feature film My Golden Days in the Directors' Fortnight program at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival, where it won the SACD (Authors Society) prize for its screenplay.

Desplechin began to make his latest film with the intent of involving younger actors in his filmmaking process.

Inspired by the way in which Wes Anderson opted to cast two unknown children as leads in Moonrise Kingdom, he wanted to work with actors in their twenties to push his boundaries as a writer and director in his next project.

With this intent in mind, Desplechin asked his producers if he could revive a romance from his own filmography, and give it new generational relevance. With the go–ahead, he reached back to the character in his 1996 movie My Sex Life... or How I Got into

an Argument. He opted for the “superhero–approach” in examining the genesis of this young romance, describing how he wanted to make Paul into a hero worthy of a film backstory.

The film charts three portions of protagonist Paul Dédalus’s life in a narrative block format. It opens with Paul readying to leave his position working in Tajikistan, where a flurry of torn pages from a book remind him of the love letters in his long–distance relationship with the stormy Esther. The movie flips from a short childhood sequence that talks about his relationship with his mother, to a trip he took to the USSR in his youth to lend his identity to someone seeking to escape the country and to the final and longest sequence of the two years he spent dating Esther.

Without spoiling the ending, it resembles its French contemporary Blue is the Warmest Color with its same devastating realism.

To recast Paul and Esther’s capricious and self–destructive romance, he wanted to help two young actors establish

themselves in the business and chose the relative no–names Quentin Dolmaire and Lou Roy–Lecollinet to fill the rolls.

Interestingly enough, he told them not to see My Sex Life… because he wanted them to interpret the roles to speak to their own generation. In the terms of Desplechin’s career, he explains how this youthful injection could be a creative catalyst for him: “As a writer, if I’m not able to write for new generations, I’m not a very good writer. I have to be able to depict characters younger than me.”

Desplechin said he wanted to format this bildungsroman “like a brain works” in terms of memory in connecting these three disparate parts of Paul’s life. In the love between a girl living in the small city and Paul in Paris, he remarks, “I thought it’s fascinating to have this couple that’s a perfect match and a disaster at the same time.” He sought to include his own feelings about adolescence and first love in My Golden Days, albeit in an emphasized and character–specific way. Even though Desplechin thinks his life

The director dishes on his first movie about youth.

was much more boring than Paul’s, he wanted to emote his own experiences in a way that he knew was universal for all teenagers.

But most importantly, this allowed him to expand his vision as an auteur and offers interesting implications for his future as a filmmaker. “I remember a line by Truffaut,” he explains, “‘You always write

a new film against the previous one.’” With that in mind, he plans to work with more middle–aged actors in his next project, and with angrier, more mature themes. Hopefully then it won’t hit as close to home as My Golden Days did with its devastating young romance.

NICK JOYNER

M A R C H 24 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5

FILM & TV

"I'M A HOME–WRECKER, BUT

I'M BUILDING A PALACE."

How I spent an hour forgetting about my internship search.

Maybe it’s because I go to Penn and I’m guilty of pre– professionalism, but when I arrived at the Kelly Writers House on Wednesday night for “Writing about TV: Real,” I expected some worldly alums to tell me how to become Shonda Rhimes—or at least land a spot fetching her coffee. The segment, planned

by Dylan Leahy (C '16), instead featured six speakers, undergrads and grads, who discussed their favorite television shows.

Some read like comedy.

Gabriel Ojeda–Sague (C '16)

poked fun at Big Brother, which he described as a “CBS staple when nothing else is on.” Ojeda–Sague lovingly bashed the reality show in which housemates are periodically voted out, spotlighting the notorious brother of Ariana Grande, Frankie, who Ojeda–Sague called “the more famous and more talented” of the siblings. The shining moment of the talk came when, after detailing a ridiculous death mix–up featured on the show’s UK spinoff, with a straight face, Ojeda–Sague, concluded, “You can imagine

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the shock and pain they were both feeling.”

Maya Arthur (C '18) detailed her obsession with Chopped in similar spirits. While the high–pressure cooking show is Arthur's guilty pleasure, she explained she doesn't discriminate, and eating up most programs the Food Network stages (included the short–lived Kitchen Casino).

She went on to crown Guy Fieri the Carrie Underwood of the channel, comparing his success post The Next Food Network Star to the country singer's American Idol honeymoon.

Josh Herren, a third–grade teacher and Penn alum, talked about his loyalty to Real Housewives from the very first season, even trying his hand at original catchphrases.

He was caught between, “I may be on a diet but

I’ll eat you alive,” and, “I’m a home–wrecker, but I’m building a palace.”

The highlight of the night, however, was alum Mara Gordon’s reflection on the days she spent watching Grey’s Anatomy from her laptop in Tanzania. She was a post–grad clinging to the idea of medical school, spending her days struggling with the Swahili she wasn’t fluent in at a clinic at which she didn’t feel necessary. She admired the “certainty and morality” all the doctors seemed to possess on the show. Feeling like a “colonizer” in a strange place, she remembers wondering if “being a doctor might absolve me.” The show was a friend in unfamiliar times, setting a dream scape where “scrubs were tailored to cleavage” and doctors said things like, “It’s a beautiful day to save some lives.”

She thought of that line on a recent day at the hospital where she’s since become a doctor. She released a patient who visits frequently. He doesn’t have a home and stays

mainly for a night of a clean sheets and towels. His girlfriend accompanies him. Gordon’s hair wasn’t blown out.

She didn’t embrace a chiseled surgeon in a job–well–done kiss. She watched the man and his girlfriend leave. “It’s a beautiful day to save some lives,” she thought.

A tribute to The X–Files helped close the evening. Ali Katz, a Program Coordinator at The Kelly Writers House, talked about the show she remembers feeling “as real or more real than prom, graduation and five years of French.” For her, a youth who trolled fan fiction websites and watched religiously, The X–Files “never felt interchangeable.” It couldn’t have been Friends or Beverly Hills 90210. The night was for me what The X–Files was for Ali and what TV is for all of us: a laugh, a distraction, an escape.

I’m happy the talk didn’t teach me how to get an internship.

For an hour, I forgot that I needed one.

OLIVIA FITZPATRICK

POPPING THE PENN BUBBLE ARTS

Before I visited the International Pop exhibition at the PMA, I had only seen the painting "Ice Cream" by Evelyn Axell (1964) on the cover of the band Lucius’ 2014 album “Wildewoman.” I had no idea it was a famous work of art from Belgium. I just thought it was a graphic that looked slightly like the two identical lead singers.

Jess Wolfe and Holly Laessig started Lucius after bonding in college over the realization that there should be a female version of the Beatles’ "White Album."

Because of the '60s inspiration for their music and appearance, it makes sense that the artists chose Axell’s colorful oil on canvas painting to represent their first LP. The International Pop exhibition, which opened in February and will close on May 15th, aims communicate with visual art what Lucius does with music. It proves that the Pop movement, which took the world by storm in the mid–20th century, wasn’t only limited to male artists depicting national consumption and sexualization—and it wasn’t dominated

by American artists, either.

At Penn, we’re all familiar with Pop art (do Claes Oldenburg’s Split Button or Robert Indiana’s LOVE sculpture ring any bells?).

We most certainly have seen Andy Warhol’s Campbell’s Soup

cans, and likely would recognize Roy Lichtenstein’s comics.

However, if presented with Ushio Shinohara's Japanese soda sculptures, we might not have a clue. Pop art actually gained a following at the same time in Latin America, Japan and both Western and Eastern Europe.

All of the work on display for International Pop was made between the years 1956–1972, but the time frame is its only limitation. The key difference between American/British Pop art and South American and Asian Pop art is that this stimulus was largely communist propaganda.

The global perspective on “well–known” creative eras is going to be a trend going forward in the curated world, as an investigation of the history we’ve erased by having a predominantly Western focus. Obama's visit to Cuba this past week in the hopes of building commercial and political ties proves that America is not the center of the world today, and it wasn’t in the 1960s and '70s either. Pop art wasn’t just about Jasper Johns’ images of the American Flag or Andy Warhol’s silkscreens of Coca Cola and Jackie Kennedy—it spoke to how mass media affected ideas in every country, even those on the front lines of World War II. MADISON BELL-ROSOF

Art by people who were more inspired by the LOVE sculpture than you.

College Houses & UME present the

March 22–26, 2016 TUESDAY MARCH 22 • Harrison College House, Heyer Sky Lounge 7:30PM Penn Student Short Films, First Night WEDNESDAY MARCH 23 • Gregory College House Van Pelt Film Lounge 7:30PM Penn Student Short Films, Second Night THURSDAY MARCH 24 • Huntsman Hall G06 7:30PM Screening of The Martian (Ridley Scott, 2015) 10:00PM Screening of Sleepwalkers (Jason Merrin ENG’13, 2015) FRIDAY MARCH 25 • Huntsman Hall G06 7:30PM Penn Student Short Films, Final Night and Awards Ceremony 10:00PM Screening of Driving Not Knowing (Benjamin R. Davis, Dylan Hansen-Fliedner C’14, Jay Jadick C’14, Dane Mainella C’14, 2015) SATURDAY MARCH 26 • Huntsman Hall G06 7:30PM Screening of The Last Survivor (Michael Kleiman C’06, Michael Pertnoy C’06, 2010) 9:30PM Screening of Spotlight (Tom McCarthy, 2015)

www.collegehouses.upenn.edu/filmfest M A R C H 24 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 17

ARTS

REALLY THOUGH, WHAT IS SLOUGHT? Meaningful conversations about the world, happening in a space right under our noses.

If you don’t know what the space just two doors down from Metropolitan Bakery with the words “Slought” overhead is, it's a non–profit organization named, well, Slought.

Shocker. From the outside it seems simple, but you'll find when you enter and engage with what lays inside, you'll come out with an elevated sense of what's around you.

Slought’s mission statement is simple at first glance: It encourages dialogue and relationships through social and cultural programs. Slought has been host to extensive exhibitions, such as the most recent one on Devin Allen, a photographer and activist involved with the Baltimore uprisings. Each exhibition challenges us to think and question the world around us. In addition, Slought hosts countless events, giving visitors the opportunity to really discuss the issues surrounding the exhibits. One of these events during the Devin Allen exhibition included speeches and a conversation between multiple activists in Philly and Baltimore.

Plus, Slought runs an auxiliary program called “mixplace studio,” which teams with West Philly students to propose an urban education model that bridges the conversation gap between the community and the state.

Slought is many things. An exhibition space, a museum, a gallery, an event space and a platform for discus-

sion. To a student in West Philly, the space could be a classroom, a resource. The organization is supposed to be malleable, so that a visitor can find from it what he or she needs to within its doors.

The purpose of Slought is to be an open space for visitors to learn and engage with the world in the most effective way possible.

So, the question is, why should this organization matter to you?

As students, we are constantly taught. Education is structured so that we learn everyone else’s opinions, and then (hopefully) develop our own. We are taught both content and strategy towards understanding content. One

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thing we do not learn, however, is how to be socially critical. We are never taught to question what we are taught. We are the architects of the future of current social and cultural structures.

As young people, we have partaken in multiple nationwide forms of protest, yet we still face problems of adapting to the social structures the generation before us has laid out. We constantly feed into social norms around us and rarely question the ones that are truly ingrained in our culture, like gender, class inequality and police brutality.

At Slought, every aspect of the organization asks us those essential, critical

Slought

Address: 4017 Walnut Street Telephone: 215.701.4627 Open Tuesday through Friday, 12–5 p.m.

Admission: Free questions. The space, whose storefront is incognito and minimal, asks us if an organization is required to advertise itself to the public.

The name Slought, which has no real meaning in the English language, asks us how important a name is for an organization. These questions challenge us to critique our surroundings.

This is just the space. Each individual exhibition has important messages that force us to question everything

we take as a universal truth.

Discussion always opens the door to change, and these discussions are happening at Slought.

We truly encourage you to visit the space. Check out a list of programs and join the email list to receive information on future events. Plus, it's just way too close not to check out.

SYDNEY HARD

LOWBROW

DISPATCH: DAY IN THE LIFE OF A REALITY TV STAR It’s exactly as much Xanax as you’d think.

4:30 a.m. – Wake up and vomit. Why I’m vomiting changes week to week—I just hate being tied down to one reason!—but usually it’s from a combination of the excessive lead in the Franzia I drank last night and the soul–crushing guilt I still feel to this day after killing that one fellow contestant that one time. Nevermind.

8:00 a.m. – Producer wakes me up in the middle of my beauty sleep to remind me of the day’s activities. I throw a fit in my room until the producer backs out slowly, scared for his safety (rightly so).

11:00 a.m. – Get up for realsies this time! I head downstairs for some forced conversation with my fellow enemies—I mean contestants—and a hearty breakfast of crushed Xanax and flax seeds. Sometimes I add in an ice cube if I’m feeling indulgent!

11:01 a.m. – Get forcibly removed from the kitchen because I tried to stab Kiera with a skewer after what she said about me in the last episode. Hon-

estly she was being a fucking STRIPPER PROSTITUTE and TOTALLY LYING. 11:07 a.m. – Second handful of Xanax of the day because this day has been like so stressful and sometimes you need to treat yourself, okay? Only God can judge me.

11:15 a.m. – Practice my “Is this whore serious????” face in the mirror as a distraction. I have it down to, like, a science.

11:20 a.m. – Implement this face for the cameras as many times as possible. Watch out, Kiera.

3:36 p.m. – Whoa, where am I?? Looks like I passed out in the Dream Suite...it happens sometimes as a result of my tendency to overdose. Oh well!

Nothing a little detox tea and some Pinot Greege can’t fix!

4:00 p.m. – Walk downstairs and call Margie a bitch.

Not so much because she’s a bitch, but I just like to make a habit of calling at least one person per day a bitch. Bitch.

5:00 p.m. – Daily meeting with producers to decide on my clothes, hair, words, personality and variety of souls for today’s evening shoot. We went with a red dress, loose curls, drunk incoherent babble, upsettingly naive and soulless for today!

Should be fun :) 6:30 p.m. – Head to tonight’s activity with my fellow girls. On the bus ride over, we take turns discussing our hopes, dreams and favorite shapes to wax our pubes into.

7:00 p.m. – Activity! We spend five glorious hours proving how ~real~ we are on the basketball court by playing highly structured games that don’t have anything to do with basketball. It’s mostly knee pads and stripper referee outfits. My butt looks fucking fab. The judges are impressed! I get a 10 and a gold star!

7:15 p.m. – It turns out the 10 is out of 100 and the gold star is for effort. Fuck. I’m mad as hell, and even though I totally keep my cool for the most part, the producers overreact

and shoot me with a tranquilizer dart.

8:45 p.m. – Wake up for the third time today—man, what a day! Things get so crazy here, but, like, it’s honestly such a good time. Once the tranquilizer is out of my system, I can totally relax in the hot tub while brainstorming ideas for some apps I think would be really successful. My latest one is a thing that analyzes your pubes to find out which shape would be most flattering.

9:00 p.m. – Record a confessional with my girl Cassandra. She is the ONLY one here who will stand by me. Love that bitch. At this point we’re on our fifth glass of wine, so we’re mostly just shitting on other

girls. Still, we save plenty of time at the end for hints about how we’re gonna make Kiera’s life hell in the next episode.

9:30 p.m.–12:30 a.m.

– Vague blur of wine, bad decisions, boom mikes used as dildos and me ripping out weaves. Never sure what goes on during this time but people tell me it makes good TV!!

1:00 a.m. – I spend 20 minutes taking off my daily face of makeup, followed by self–injections of Juvederm (gotta stay young ladies, am I right?) and 15 minutes of sobbing in the mirror. Then I head for bed!

Can’t wait to start this all again tomorrow.

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4

LOWBROW

NEW REALITY COMPETITION SHOWS COMING

PENN THIS SPRING

TO

Illustrations by Gloria Yuen

Who can best use social media to mask the meaninglessness of their life?

We all know likes are the true currency of life value.

College students compete to see who gets less sleep Challenges include complainbragging about how many midterms you’ve had in the last week and how aptly you can abuse the snapchat time filter.

Which Penn student is most effectively wasting his/her potential?

Which Wharton student can refer to the most people as peasants?

Those drugs won’t do themselves!

Bonus points for usage of plebeian.

and

WAYS MAKE YOUR LIFE MORE LIKE A TO

Because sometimes accidentally texting the wrong GroupMe that you have a UTI just isn’t enough ~drama~.

Move into a house on Sansom with seven other people.

Go to a series of a cappella concerts with two of your friends.

Figure out what makes you and your housemates so different from each other. Try to highlight those differences aggressively to the point where it creates conflict. It’s more real this way. Also, try to sleep with all your housemates, but also still bring other people home with you so that your housemates know that you’re the person to fuck, but not the person to fuck with.

Sit in the front row. After each song, comment on the soloist’s singing ability using a scathing British accent. Tell your friends to be nicer than you, and to excessively use the word “dawg” to refer to the soloist. After several seasons, switch out one of your friends for Jennifer Lopez to make the shows more fun. Be surprised when it doesn't work.

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Stand at a SEPTA bus stop.

Every time that someone gets off the bus, make a disgusted face and yell, “NEXT.”

REALITY SHOW

Grow a beard and start hunting ducks.

Begin to train your entire student club lineage to be like you. Think of a majestic name for your lineage.

Dynasty might be a good word.