March 20, 2014

March 20, 2014 34st.com

WE ARE WHO WE ARE Moving beyond the

gender binary

SPRING BREAK TEXTS | UNDERHYPED MUSIC | PENNEZ HILTON

march 20 LOL

2014 3 HIGHBROW

7

word on the street, overheard at penn, round up, spring break texts, meh list

6 EGO

ego of the week,SABS scav hunt, what to read

9 MUSIC LOL

LOL

LOL

underhyped, album reviews, meet the penn musician

13, 17 FILM

pennez hilton, movie parties

14 FEATURE

we are who we are

20 FOOD & DRINK

detox, juice bars, philly food news

SCRUBADUBDUBFROMTHEEDITOR

Most of my spring break was spent in a bubble bath with three of my best friends.

Upon arriving in Montreal, where the drinking age is 19 and the dollar is strong, we were probably most excited to discover that our hotel room included a large Jacuzzi tub. We ended every single one of our nights in the tub—our bellies full of poutine—and I can safely say that the night we discovered bubble bath was the highlight of the trip.

And even though our last night in Canada resulted in three–fourths of our group crying at a window table in a trendy small–plates restaurant, we had the tub to save us. Because there’s nothing quite like pruney, wrinkled feet touching underwater to heal all wounds.

Now I desperately wish I had a big bathtub at school. How much easier would it make the walk of shame after getting rejected at smokes if you knew you were going home to a nice, hot soak? And what

about studying—I swear I would do my readings if my tub had jets. Let’s not even get started on what bubble baths could do for our love lives.

Unfortunately, I don’t know a single person in the DPS patrol zone who has a Jacuzzi tub in their Campus Apartment (if you do, you can reach me at bower@34st.com—I’ll bring my own towel). And since I doubt any of us will be getting one anytime soon, instead we have to make the most out of what we have. We have to soak away our problems in our own Penn way.

Luckily, the upcoming solstice is about to make this a whole lot easier. Penn changes in the spring, and, boy, am I ready. The tables by the compass at lunchtime are my Canadian bathtub. What will be yours?

WELCOME BACK, LITTLE SQUIDS

22 ARTS LOL

LOL

cameras, mosaics, window art, artist profile

26 LOWBROW

how tan did you get, spring breaker interview, a game or something

28 BACKPAGE

surviving the next 55 days

Inking about getting more involved at Penn?

WRITERS' MEETING 2NITE: 4015 'NUT. 6:30 PM.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Chloe Bower, Murder by bitch face Patrick Ford-Matz, Concealed weapon Abigail Koffler, Cyber–bullying Margot Halpern, Breaking + Entering: 4K Sarah Tse, Ritual slaughter Byrne Fahey, Public indecency Ling Zhou, Open container law Conor Cook, Robbing a sperm bank Julia Liebergall, Assaulting Wes Spiro Alex Sternlicht, Libel Nicole Malick, Malic(k)e Randi Kramer, Being too randiculous Emily Marcus, Spreading Alpha Phiver Ryan Zahalka, REDACTED 2

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Cassandra Kyriazis, Weird last name Casey Quackenbush, Arson Michelle Ma, Bestiality Zacchiaus McKee, Crimes against fashion Ariela Osuna, Squatting in Rumor Lucy Hovanisyan, Vampirism Ciara Stein, Treason Molly Collett, Espionage Emma Soren, The joke that went too far Patrick Del Valle, Human trafficking Marley Coyne, Jaywalking Emily Johns, Boyfriend too hot Clare Lombardo, Wrongly accused Justin Sheen, Being 2 cute @dimples

Alyssa Berlin, Counting cards Katie Hartman, Giving too many hart–ons Giulia Imholte, Spelling "Julia" wrong Lauren Greenberg, Being too socially relevant Sophia Fischler-Gottfried, Being somewhat soically relevant Rosa Escandon, Being a brothel madame COVER DESIGN: Margot Halpern BACKPAGE DESIGN: Byrne Fahey Contributors: Lauren Lauer, Ian Skahill, Mitchell Hun, Bethany Christy, Jamie Kent, Mark Paraskevas, Carolyn Grace, Alex Friedman, Arielle Pardes

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Chloe Bower, Editor–in–Chief, at bower@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.

VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com Shout out to Justin Sheen for never being anybody but Justin Sheen ©2014 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday

HIGHBROW

THE MEH LIST: SPRING BREAK EDITION 1. Mall movie theaters

2.

wordonthestreet OUR BETTER HALF

BY PATRICK FORD-MATZ

4.

2. Early morning flights 3. Continental Breakfasts 4. Florida 5. PV FOMO

6.

8.

6. Catching up on Netflix 7. Siblings 8. Complimentary airplane snacks

THEROUNDUP Welcome back to Penn–adise, muchachos. Sorry you have to trade your bikinis for winter parkas. While the weather may be cold and cloudy, Highbrow is here to bring the sunshine back into your lives. We’ve missed you little fuckers.

Spring break gossip would be incomplete without a quick trip to Puerto Vallarta. A day of sunny kayaking took a turn for the worse when two APES bros found themselves stranded at sea...without Uber. Luckily, the Phi Delt booze cruise fished the monkeys out of the tropical waters. That’s what the IFC brotherhood is all about.

But no good deed goes unpunished, especially when Penn bros get a reality check. One shorty tried to take on a group of Duke kids at a party, only to have his nugget booty handed back to him. Highbrow hears that our gladiator had to get stitches in the battle’s aftermath. Guess he’s learned never to dance with the (Blue) Devil.

We know what you’re thinking: was there a three–way? Yes, little guacamoles.

Two brothers from different fraternities and their amiga engaged in an orgy that would make Hugh Hefner proud. We applaud the three amigos for keeping a PV tradition alive.

When all the excitement died down and Quakers got ready to return from #bestspringbreakeva, one Kappa Sig found himself without money or a passport. Performing yet another mitzvah, Phi Delt gave the Squirrel enough money to hop a bus to Tijuana, where he somehow managed to get over the border to California. Unclear what body part he had to sell in exchange for crossing the border without proof of citizenship. Highbrow won't judge—we’ve already sold our soul.

1800 miles away in Cancun, three friends got to live the spring break dream: they were invited back to a hot girl’s hotel room. Well, sort of. The girl was in fact a 40 year old married mother, who wined and dined them before showing them to the room’s bathtub. After telling them how “lucky” she was to “be surrounded by three handsome boys,” the trio climbed out of the tub and escaped the cougar’s clutches. Guess she’ll have to play with her own rubber ducky.

over heard PENN at

Theos boy: I’m kind of trendy right now.

PiKapp Pledge: Isn't this girl hot?

Doesn't she look like JJ Abrams?

WASP: I took a pregnancy test in a McDonald's bathroom in Paris when I was 16.

Poli Sci Professor: You guys go to formals? Do you get to wear sequins?

Radian boy: If I have to eat another Sweetgreen salad, I will literally die.

We didn’t ask for this to be easy. We didn’t come to Penn looking for a relaxing four–year spring break. Those arriving to NSO ignorant of their new home’s bevy of intimidating epithets (pressure cooker, boot camp, the School at the End of the World, etc.) are either in denial or not so good at Google. We signed up for hell, and damn have we got it in abundance around here.

But fuck, am I tired. I think everybody is. To call the first half of the semester difficult would be a cruel understatement. As a student body, we have weathered immeasurable losses since September. Moreover, undergrads and administration are distinctly at odds. We closed out Spring Sem Part One by taking a digital shitstorm of hate and negativity to the face and then getting buried in like thirty feet of snow. We wanted the hard knock life, but maybe not this hard. This has not been a good semester.

But that doesn’t mean it can’t be.

This is our school, and however untouchable capital– P Penn might feel, it’s never been anything more or less than what we make of it. That’s why, this very moment, I launch my campaign to take back our Penn, and I hope you’ll join me.

I propose a simple solution to our midsemester woes: getting wild and crazy. Forget work hard, it’s time we played. The temperature’s slowly creeping back towards non–lethal and let’s be honest, you’ve done as much reading as you’re gonna do before shipping off to that internship come May. “Darty” is on the lips of every bro, and as hard as it is to part with our leather jackets and “talk to me and I’ll break your arms” winter glares, I think it’s time everybody loosened up a little.

This doesn’t have to involve substance abuse. For some, Jack and Coke makes grinning a little easier, but getting fuzzy is in no way a prereq for joining my club. All you need to do is anything that makes you feel like day one fresh meat—anything that makes Penn feel huge and impossible and yours again.

Close out of your Google Cal and ask yourself how you’re doing. Forget depressed; are you bored? Are you restless? Do you feel like violently striking out at your peers via the internet? Then take a deep breath, let your jerk self take five and have a little fun. There’ll be plenty of time for cramming during finals, and if you feel the need to anono–hate, I urge you to do so somewhere productive, like Collegiate ACB or your diary.

There’s still a lot of sad hanging around, and that’s okay.

Somebody told me once that the deeper sorrow cuts you, the more room it makes for joy. I know we’re not so good at embracing no–strings–attached positivity around here, but I ask that we all give it a try. Life around here won’t get better until we screw on our biggest smiles and make it better.

So break out your sundresses, spark up if that’s your thing and let’s get happy again.

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Hey LaLa, I really want to recreate my tropical spring break sex at Penn. Obviously, Penn is a little less tantric than PV. So where do you think I can get in on Mexico–style in West Philly?

Xx, FOMO Fucker

Hi. I’m LaLa. I’ve had a lot of sex.

In my year and a half at Penn, I’ve had more sex than you have and if I haven’t then fuck me. Seriously. I’ve decided it’s time to share my sexual endeavors with you, both good and bad (but never my fault). I am the new campus sexpert and the pleasure is all Penn’s. You see, I’m the kind of girl that wants orgasms for Christmas.

Cum hither and let’s get it on.

Hey FOMO Fucker, I can only hope your sb was as erotic as mine. Obviously, Spring Break was the perfect excuse to get it on and take a much needed week off from the usual blackout DFMOS at school. Let me give you a run– down of my favorite fuckation destinations and their Quaker (almost) equivalents.

1. The Club/Bar/Restaurant/ Hotel Bathroom Most Enjoyable for: the Down and Dirty Penn Substitute: Luckily, bathrooms are the same everywhere.

Try Blarney for convienence or Rumor for more space. Regardless, you will walk out to either

Drexel Dragons or hot Mexicans.

This is really only socially acceptable to do in single stall bathrooms, but in a sticky situation, the men’s room is an option.

Quick, potentially rough sex is to be expected. Positioning is limited since it’s typically just standing. However, doing it in public is pretty fucking fun. Also, there is limited interaction afterward so it minimizes all potential awkwardness as each individual can just leave and go back to blacking out.

2. The Beach Most Enjoyable for: the Romantic Penn Substitute: This is Philadelphia. The closest thing we have to a beach is the softball field at Penn Park. However, I’d advise venturing to the rugby field for a softer feel—that astroturf is guaranteed to be much more forgiving than sand. At night, it’s gorgeous with stars and the moon if you are into that shit. If pulled off successfully, it can be a

great way to spice up your fuck life and is more intimate than a bathroom.

3. The Ocean Most Enjoyable for: the Wet and W!ld Penn Substitute: The obvious choice is shower sex. Personally, I don’t enjoy shower sex because the water always splashes into my eyes as opposed to the ocean.

On the other hand, I don’t have to worry about handling the waves and avoiding marine life.

There’s also no chance of a burning sensation in the vag due to the ocean’s salt water. I don’t suggest hot tub sex because it’s physically very hot and horribly steamy. Additionally, there’s a lot of germs and the infection rate is potentially higher than the tub’s tempurature. So at least at Penn, I’d recommend staying dry. ...but not really.

I’m here all night. Let me take you to LaLa Land, where you’re always satisfied. Email me you your questions: Asklala@34st.com

HIGHBROW DOES GRINDR

Week two of Highbrow's immersion into the complicated world of dating apps. Check out 34st.com for more grinding.

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HIGHBROW PRESENTS:

HIGHBROW

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT

(857): I watch more porn than I watch movies.

(714): God I would jam you so hard (714): U know I’m hot as fuck (714): I don’t jerk to ppl who think I’m ugly (714): Dude ur totes buying condoms at the mall (510): Spring breakers is actually pretty accurate cause I wanna kill like everyone in Miami right now (510): Fuck I literally accidently texted my ex instead of you asking him “where he at in this gay club” (646): I don’t think I’m alive anymore...I just puked 5 times before 1pm

(516): She had a nipple piercing and a tramp stamp but told me not to worry because she got both when she 15. Lol daddy issues?

(215): i’ve been wearing the same pair of underwear for 3 days and the only thing i’ve left my house to do is buy cheez its and three pints of half baked (917): I audibly farted while giving him head and drunkenly said “don’t worry my farts smell like Beyonce” (310): He’s the cutest nerdy Jew! About to blow him (617): Ello ello, howd it go moving stuff my british spot of tea? I miss your crooked smile and just wanna help you move...into any space you want ;)

(203): How manga times does it take a drunk bitch to spell roofues (773): My burn finally turned to tan!! Just in time to peel off...it now looks likes splotty third nipple (508): My strep rash cleared just in time to get sunburnt (734): You’d think we’d get drunk and do something fun but we just got drunk and played monopoly (215): Damn mtha fackacs

(617): Where the fuck is my vicodin (310): My roommate found me eating tortilla chips outside alone

(203): Pooping with a fresh manicure. The struggle is *real*

SPRING BREAK EDITION

(310): He also took a shit right before we started hooking up. The smell permeated a bit into the bedroom.

(310): Cute nerdy Jew from Yale. Meeting him in NYC tomorrow. Our relationship had consisted of snap chatting dick pics so far (617): Also my phone autocorrects pv to vp...there’s something wrong with that (609): Most awkward moment of my life. Getting hit on, and a drink bought for me, by this gorgeous British man with my parents sitting next to me. Then my dad intervening...

BE IN HAVANA BY GRADUATION Brunch ★ Lunch ★ Dinner ★ Latin Floorshows

(860): Do u have a copy of my moms hot in here vid (609): Direct quote from my little sister to my mom “I wish I had boobs you could take shots out of ” she’s gonna do well in college (Mom): The nicest guy at coffee and tea leaf just helped me by bringing 2 chairs outside. None available inside.

His name is Sincere.

(954): Nothin says romance like fresh vomit.

(310): Too drunk to be romantic so I’m just going to be honest—want a bj?

(781): I have thrown up 4 times today though. So i hope i dont vom on him

(915): Sexting at the bar, never have I ever been so glad PR is part of the US.

(DAD): New cool cycling spot called soul cycle opened up in da hill...

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www.CubaLibreRestaurant.com Old City | 10 S. 2nd Street | Philadelphia M A R C H 2 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

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EGO’S SPRING READING LIST

Leave the textbook at home for an afternoon: trade it for a good, old–fashioned book.

If You Feel stressed when you get that midterm back

Need a break from procrasti–Netflix–ing "House of Cards"

"Full Catastrophe Living"

by Jon Kabat–Zinn

"Wag the Dog: A Novel"

by Larry Beinhart

Are into dystopia but have already seen the "Hunger Games" movies

Then Read "1984" by George Orwell

The story of a society A book to instruct you A gripping tale of a GOP Chairman who hires a set under constant govon a mindfulness– ernment surveillance, Hollywood director to based stress reduction program and to help you cover up a political sex public manipulation and propaganda—a plot that scandal and help the to lead a more stress– free, in–the–moment President retain office... sounds all too familiar by faking a war with these days. life.

Albania.

Student Tattoo of the Week

Café Renata

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Are a strong, independent (wo)man who needs a confidence boost

Can't get enough of your "America in the 1960s" lecture

"Bossypants" by Tina Fey

"The Help"

by Kathryn Stockett

The honest and painful, Fey’s honest and hilariyet historically accurate, ous retelling of stories story of black women of her path to stardom who worked as maids in and life before "SNL." white houses and often raised white children.

ALEX FRIEDMAN

Name: Irene–Alexandra Katopodis Year: Junior Majors: International Relations, Anthropology Tattoo Location: Left inner bicep Story: Irene has three nationalities: Greek, Swiss and American. As a citizen of so many countries, she often asks herself where­—or what—is home? Irene considers herself a citizen of the Earth; she belongs in "Motion". She finds answering the question “Where are you from?” to be a mouthful, and this tattoo encompasses that feeling.

Parent approved?: “Whatever to parental approval."

EGO

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EGOOF THE WEEK: SETH SIMONS

This Boston native inspires all sorts of feels as a playwright, Simply Chaos comedian and Excelano Project spoken– word poet. Seth excels in reading and writing, but he prefers birdwatching over arithmetic (we don’t blame him).

Street: So you birdwatch.

Do you have a favorite bird?

Seth Simons: I have a few favorite birds. I’m into birds of prey, your normal backyard songbirds...there’s a really stupid bird that lives in New Zealand called a Kakapo, I like that bird. Total idiot.

for Simply Chaos and for Excelano?

SS: With comedy you know right away if it works, because you pitch a joke and people laugh. With poetry, it’s kind of more numinous. [Ed. note: Good word. We had to look this up.] You read a poem and people feel feelings, maybe, or they don’t.

Street: Why is it stupid?

SS: Well, it’s flightless, and kind of fat. When the male is looking for a lady, he digs a little hole in the ground and gets into it and emits a very low frequency call. But the female has no idea where the sound is coming from.

They’re very endangered.

Street: How did you get involved?

SS: When I was at NYU, I was in a playwriting program.

We had a class called “Colloquium” where every week we’d all bring in scenes that we wrote for each other to perform. I just started writing things for myself, which gradually turned into spoken word. And stand up too, though I didn’t really know at

Street: What’s the difference between performing

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the time. And I came here and I auditioned and I got in, and the rest is technically history.

tralia specifically. They have really fun birds—ibises. We have pigeons, they have ibises!

Street: You also write plays. Tell us about the one you wrote for Penn.

SS: I received a Kelly Writers House playwriting fellowship with the Front Row Theater Company. That was for a play about a girl who lives with her grandfather. And one night an owl comes in and whisks her away to the world of owls and she has to find her way back to her grandfather, who is dying.

Street: When you go bird watching, do you do bird calls?

SS: There are probably people who do, I don’t. [Ed note: When we asked nicely, he did.

Check out the video at 34st. com]

Street: Do you prefer writing drama, or do you like to throw your comedy into it?

SS: I try to do something that is both things, same when I do stand up comedy or poetry. I think each is more... not powerful, but effective with the other next to it.

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Street: What makes a great poem?

SS: There’s a poet named David Smith who says the best poems tell the best stories. I think that’s probably true. When it comes to spoken word, which has an audience that has usually paid to come see, narrative is an important element.

And also, entertainment.

That doesn’t mean funny, it just means something that needs to be on stage, and alive, and it has multiple layers.

Street: If you could live anywhere on the planet, where would it be and why?

SS: I like Australia a lot, because...well Sydney, Aus-

Street: If you could have a drink with anyone in history, whom would you choose and why?

SS: My father’s grandfather disappeared mysteriously in 1941. I’ve always wanted to know what happened to him.

Street: What will you be doing on this day in 10 years?

SS: Breathing. Perspiring.

Metabolizing. I don’t wanna jinx it!

Street: Tell us about the last time you cried.

SS: I cried when Lupita won. I had pneumonia and I was overcome with angst and existential stuff. Do you ever feel uncertain about what you’re doing with your life? Yeah, everyone feels that.

That’s boring. That’s a boring reason to cry.

Street: Sorry you had pneumonia.

SS: It was the kind of pneumonia you want to have...is what they told me. So, the walking kind rather than the go to the hospital and almost die kind. I was pretty grateful for that. Not as grateful as when Lupita won!

MUSIC

ALBUM REVIEWS

“MASTERMIND” RICK ROSS Rick Ross and “big” are synonymous, both in physique and in product. Everything is usually on a grand scale with Ricky Rozay, from subject matter to beats and features, and “Mastermind” is no exception. Collaborations from A–list acts like Jay–Z and Kanye West, as well as upstarts like The Weeknd and DJ Mustard, remind us just how much clout Ross has in the rap game. While in the past he's tended to let his guests take over on his projects, he delivers on his own here on tracks like “BLK & WHT” and “Paradise Lost”. There are still a few missteps, like the unnecessarily long “Dope Bitch” skit and the forced Meek Mill feature, but this is overall a bawse–quality product and it covers nearly all the bases on the hip–hop spectrum.

HAIKU REVIEWS

Roses are red. Spring break is over. Read these Haikus if St. Patrick’s Day hasn’t turned you into a four–leafed–clover.

“MORNING PHASE” BECK

Grade: B+ Download: “Sanctified” Sounds best when: Cramming for your accounting midterm while dreaming about your future payday MARK PARASKEVAS

“JOYLAND” TRUST “Joyland” is the ironically–named second LP from gothic– synth artist Trust, and it sounds just like what you would expect gothic–synth to sound like: Crystal Castles, except less catchy.

While the starry, mellow sound of the opener “Slightly FloatGrade: C+ ing” eases you into the album, each track gets progressively Download: “Are We Arc?” darker and heavier. Even less heavy, “happier” songs like the title Sounds best when: Walktrack “Joyland” are cold and distanced. The album is vaguely ing home (alone) reminiscent of hot afternoons in the car with your mom listening to brooding 80’s pop. It’s kind of good, but it also gives you BETHANY CHRISTY a slight headache.

DOWNLOAD: “Morning” When you need rest, GRADE: B Beck makes sure you fall asleep. SOUNDS BEST WHEN: So enjoy your night.

Wishing the Banker’s Club on your shelf was a sweet bottle of Californian wine.

“PORTICO:” THE MARY ONETTES Swedish indie band What is dream pop anyway?

Back to the ‘80s

DOWNLOAD: “Naive Dream” GRADE: D SOUNDS BEST WHEN: Reading your paper over one final time.

“WE ARE SCIENTISTS” TV EN FRANCAIS Never a let down If on a Brooklyn dancefloor; Indie favorite.

DOWNLOAD: “Sprinkles” GRADE: C SOUNDS BEST WHEN: Cleaning up the frat house post–party.

LUCY HOVANISYAN

“ATLAS” REAL ESTATE

Listening to the new Real Estate album elicits the feeling of longing for bygone summer day moments of serene beauty tinged with just a little sadness. “Atlas” is noticeably darker and more introspective than the effortless ambiance of its predecessor, 2011’s “Days.” The Suburban New Jersey natives excel at creating lush spaces, immersing the listener in reverb–drenched guitar chords and laid–back rhythms. These serene landscapes are punctuated by Matt Mondanile’s fluid guitar licks and Martin Courtney’s airy vocals. Despite being neither overly complex nor experimental, “Atlas” is populated with diverse soundscapes.

Lead Single, “Talking Backwards,” stands out for its jangling guitars and catchy chorus, whereas “The Bend” is notable for its swirling, surreal outro.

Grade: A– Download: “The Bends” Sounds best when: Reminiscing about summer warmth

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Yeah, you’re missing out.

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:

“Lost ft. Noname Gypsy” Take a break from “Favor ite Song” and chill out a little. Seriously som e of his best lyrics.

Sounds best when: Makin g out.

LADY GAGA: “Summerboy” At first you’ll be like, “what,” and then before you know it you will know and sing every single word.

Actually.

Sounds best when: Dreamin’ ‘bout spring break.

“Mojo So Dope” One of the fifty million sparkling gems that gets overshadowed by “Pursuit of Happiness.” It’s definitely anthem material.

Sounds best when: Kicking a problem set’s ass.

MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS: “White Walls ft. Schoolboy Q and Hollis” If you gotta listen to Macklemore at least listen to this.

Sounds best when: Day partying.

KANYE WEST: “Heard ‘Em Say ft.

Adam Levine” It’s no Yeezus but the piano is really, really, really catchy.

Sounds best when: Realizing the snow is actually pretty sometimes.

GOOD CHARLOTTE: “I Don’t Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)” Do not pretend you don’t belt out “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous” whenever you get the chance. It’s so lame it’s wonderful.

Sounds best when: Channeling your inner 2007.

BETHANY CHRISTY

A$AP ROCKY: “Get Lit ft. Fat Tony” "Getting so high you fuck around and wanna leave the function" should be one of those Penn acronyms. GSHYFA. Sounds best when: Getting lit.

RADIOHEAD: “Black Star” Definitely the most underrated song from “The Bends,” the Radiohead album that’s not “OK Computer.”

Sounds best when: Ruminating.

MAC MILLER: “Bird Call” Two words: Clams Casino.

Sounds best when: Soaking up the last sunshine before polar vortex doom.

PINK FLOYD:

“Fearless” The Pink Floyd album that’s not “Dark Side of the Moon.”

Sounds best when: Introspective zone–out sessions or just studying.

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MUSIC

MEET THE PENN MUSICIAN—“HEY DAY”

H

ey Day doesn’t just mean Styrofoam hats and wooden canes anymore. Formed back in the spring of 2013, pop–rock band Hey Day is giving students a new, musical definition for the classic Penn tradition. The group consists of New York City trio Jesse Fink, Andrew Spelman and Andrew Underberg. “Hey Day has significance for us because we really launched this project when Jesse was going into his junior year and I my senior year,” explains Spelman. “Ergo, the Hey Day Penn tradition.” Even before the band launched, Spelman and Fink already had a musical history. The OZ duo have been writing music together for almost two years now, but

tar, Fink accompanies with rhythmic guitar and provides the vocals and Underberg produces it all.

The result is an infectious and upbeat series of tight Fink notes that “it wasn’t until last Spring that we harmonies that will have you bobbing your head decided we wanted to play music together seriously.” or humming along the rest of the day. This much While studying abroad in Australia, Fink video– is true for their debut single, “Little Bandit,” which chatted Brown graduate Underberg, with whom has been out for a month and already has over he had collaborated back in New York, to see if he 18,000 hits on YouTube and almost 63,000 plays on wanted to join the band. Underberg was in, and Hey SoundCloud. “We’ve gotten a bunch of industry atDay was born. tention from this song,” Fink states proudly, adding According to their Facebook page, which already that Enrique Iglesias favorited and replied to two of has 1,150 likes, the group aims to their tweets. “We’re hoping to start produce songs that extend beyond "Our style is very much playing shows at Penn this month the realm of normal pop music. like Maroon 5, and or next, and then hopefully put “We’ve kinda clung to the eupheon a showcase for some industry mism ‘accessible rock,’” says Spel- Jesse is Adam Levine folk in May.” Hey Day also plans man. “Our style is very much like to drop its next single this month, with better pecs."

Maroon 5, and Jesse is Adam Levine and there’s talk of recording an EP with better pecs.” “Since the music is at the end of the summer. guitar–based, there’s a sort of rock influence,” Fink Even with its ambitious goals, Hey Day prides itclarifies. “But obviously our hooks and synth ele- self on being a band that makes music just for the ments make it pop. I like to think that our music fun of it. “Penn is a very pre–professional school that is commercial without being cheesy and annoying.” I think sometimes takes itself too seriously,” Fink reThe diverse musical backgrounds of the three mem- marks. “What I like most about playing in the band bers certainly give Hey Day that accessibility they is that we’re doing something we’re truly passionate desire for listeners. Whether they’re writing a song about but not taking ourselves too seriously.” “Jesse, collaboratively or in the recording studio, their indi- sadly, is one of my best friends,” jokes Spelman. “So vidual influences combine to create music that Spel- it’s great to be able to accomplish something creative man says “everyone can latch onto and relate to.” together.”

Each member’s role is integral to the success of “Besides,” he adds, “I don’t want a real job.”

Hey Day’s distinct sound. Spelman plays lead guiCAROLYN GRACE

YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS

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As a surfer and psychonaut of sorts, I was destined to fall in love with the Growlers’ grungy sound, which evokes sunburnt relationships, rainy acid trips and the smell of surfboard wax. At Outside Lands music festival, I became absolutely enchanted with the tattoo–speckled bunch from Costa Mesa, who are self-proclaimed ‘beach rats.’ My love for the California quintet transformed from casual to crazed when the Growlers announced their fall tour— with stops in Philadelphia. I knew I had to convince the band to come over to our humble abode in West Philly.

In a rather fortuitous turn of events, I stumbled across the bassist’s Facebook and asked him to come over for drinks after the show on October 4th.

To my surprise, bassist Anthony said they’d be there! With a caveat: could they bring the other bands they were on tour with?

Our house was ecstatic. The Growlers all showed up to my place circa 3 AM, with the Cosmonauts, the Memories and Gap Dream all in tow. Needless to say, our Beach–Zombie–themed party fucking ruled.

In terms of how good their music is, The Growlers most recent EP, "Gilded Pleasures," showcases the band’s mastery of their signature cha–cha–meets–skiffle, reverb–doused sound. “Humdrum Blues” offers a brief glimpse of their ‘broke–ass life’ in Costa Mesa...which, honestly, doesn’t sound half bad.

JAMIE KENT

MUSIC

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F E AT U R E

F E AT U R E

By Arielle Pardes The world isn't in black and white. Despite being confronted with uniquely challenging issues from healthcare to housing and everything in between, Penn's non-cisgender students are showing us the full spectrum of possibilities. Let's embrace it.

J

Still, it wasn’t until February 2013, osie Elias is going through puberty. Just after during his junior year at Penn, that his twenty–second birthday, the College Neither: a person he began actively changing his body senior is sprouting his first chin hairs, to reflect his gender identity with his first swaths of forehead acne and his who knows the weekly injections of testosterone voice is cracking like a twelve year old’s. terms “male” and that kickstarted his second–puWith just a few months until graduaberty. tion, most of Josie’s peers are swept up in “female” don’t fit No one knows for sure how many the soon–to–come transition from college them. people identify as transgender, but to the real world. But Josie is in the midst of another transition: changing his body from the one estimates range from one in 10,000 to one in 1,000. At Penn, the percentage he was born in to the one in which he’s always felt he bemight be higher. According to Erin Cross, the longed.

Josie identifies as transgender, meaning his self–identified Associate Director of Penn’s LGBT Center, “the numbers have gender doesn’t align with the one he was assigned at birth. And increased steadily over the years, especially since Penn added he’s not the only one. For the dozens of transgender students ‘gender identity’ to its non–discrimination policy in 2003 at Penn, everything from housing to healthcare is complicated and then approved transgender health benefits for students in by gender. While the rest of us desperately hunt for a bath- 2010.”

Although Penn has made efforts toward trans–inclusive poliroom during Fling, some trans students are forced to hunt cies, gender–transitioning during college poses its own chaldaily just to find a bathroom where they feel safe.

For Josie, it’s a mismatch he’s been aware of his whole life. lenges.

When Josie arrived at Penn freshman year, he was paired He couldn’t understand why everyone insisted they knew his identity better than he did, or why his parents dressed him in with a female roommate in Stouffer frills as a child, offering no other justification than: “You’re a College House and his PennCard used his full name: Jocelyn girl, so this is what you wear.”

Elias. His professors and Gender variant: a classmates referred to him person who does with feminine pronouns, but never without slight not conform to socihesitancy. etal gender expecOnce, in a friend’s dorm tations and stereoFor a solid decade, room freshman year, Josie and his friends started types Facebook reinforced the playing a drinking game called “Who Am I?” where gender binary with only two they tried to guess the identity options—male and female—to written on a post–it stuck to their foreheads. When it was Josie’s turn, he began guessing his post–it person the choose. With 56 new options, conventional way: “Am I a man or a woman?” There was a the social network is finally marked silence before Josie collapsed into laughter.

“If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me updating its status. Here are that.” some new choices you might Gender questioning is rarely so lighthearted. When engineering sophomore Gary* came to Penn, he was also not know yet.** assigned to live with a female roommate in Kings Court College House. The day roommate decisions came out, he found her on Facebook and sent a message explaining that he considered himself a trans man, since he felt that he owed her the disclosure.

1 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E M A R C H 2 0 , 2 01 4

Still, he wasn’t as forthright with his peers freshman year, fearing that he would lose their friendships if they knew about his trans identity. He spent the second half of his freshman year deeply depressed and withdrawn.

When he slowly began to tell his peers that he identified as a man, he was relieved to find that they were accepting, and he was emboldened to make the switch to male pronouns, along with a newly christened male name. He changed his gender on Penn InTouch to read “male.” He confided in his GA about his discomfort in living with a girl, and with the help of the House Dean, secured a single in King’s Court for the following year.

Frustrated with the daily process of binding his breasts, Gary began taking testosterone in January, which he obtained through a quick informed–consent process at Student Health Services, and is covered by Penn’s Student Insurance Plan.

stumbled upon a Facebook post for queer students in the Class of 2016, asking if anyone was interested in starting a group focusing on trans issues (at that point, among dozens of LGBT groups on campus, none targeted trans–identified students). He replied yes and, suddenly, he wasn’t so alone.

The post he saw was written by Kate Campbell, a College sophomore, who identifies as agender and uses the gender neutral pronoun “they.”

Kate never experienced the “trapped in the wrong body” feeling, but never felt a connection to being a woman or a man, either.

Along with seven other members of the Class of 2016, Kate co–founded Penn Non–Cis two years ago. (“Cisgender” refers to people who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, ergo not transgender.) Since then, the group has met every Sunday, providing a space for students like Kate and Gary to open up about their struggles with gender.

“I have a lot of internalized anxiety about gender stuff,” Kate says, citing the fear that their agender identity is not “legitimately” trans. They have faced criticism from both the cis and trans communities that their identity is made up, or somehow weakens the advances of transgender individuals who fit within the gender binary.

One of the resounding goals of Penn Non–Cis, accordingly, is to legitimize non–binary identities, as well as to encourage people to rethink the two–pronged conception of gender.

“I think that if everyone in the world were made to critically examine their relationship with gender identity, a lot of people would place themselves [outside of the gender binary] as well,” says Kate.

College freshman Amy Sollitti, who is also part of Penn Non–Cis, identifies as genderqueer and uses the neutral pronouns ze and hir. Like Kate, Amy has faced criticisms that the way ze identifies is simply “for attention” or that ze is “really a girl.”

Since ze identifies neither as male nor female, Amy struggles to find gender–neutral bathrooms on campus. Similarly, when

Intersex: a person who biologically has “ambiguous genitalia” or male and female sex characteristics

For students like Gary, who felt tortured by his trans identity prior to coming to Penn, college proved to be the right environment to come out.

“When students arrive at Penn, they are part of a community that is actively working toward inclusivity and validation of the entire spectrum of gender identities,” explains Cyndy Boyd, the Director of Training at CAPS. “Penn has worked hard to create medical, social, psychological and community resources for trans students, and it’s often a great relief for students who have perhaps not experienced a welcoming environment to this point in their lives.”

Gary’s relief is largely owed to his social support system at Penn. During his freshman year, he

Pangender: someone who sees themselves as a little bit of everything across the sexual spectrum

Two–spirit: a person who embodies the spirit of both a man and a woman.

Usually attributed to Native American culture.

Bigender: a person

ze asks professors to emwho identifies with ploy hir preferred protwo distinct gennouns, ze often receives wary glances about the ders, possibly, but words “ze” and “hir,” not limited to, male “as if all the words in the English language were and female. made up by Webster at the time of the first dictionary and there have been no new words since.”

Once, during an appointment at CAPS, Amy described hir gender as “non–binary” on the patient form. Noting this, the therapist asked, “So, are you a trans man or a trans woman?”

When Amy explained that ze identified as neither, the therapist nodded. “Oh, so you’re a girl.”

Erin from the LGBT Center emphasizes that while adopting unfamiliar pronouns or identities may be uncomfortable, “Everybody has a gender. Everybody has preferred pronouns.”

Still, even among those who should know better, and even at a place like Penn that strives to be trans–inclusive, transgender identities are widely misunderstood. Many students don’t even realize that transitioning between genders, or rejecting the gender binary, are options at all.

When College sophomore Xeno Washburne arrived at Penn, he had never heard the phrase “non–binary.” When he discovered it, on a flier for an event at the LGBT Center during his freshman year, something clicked. He had never felt an affinity to being a girl, but he wasn’t sure he was a boy, either.

“I just started Googling it, and I thought to myself, ‘Oh! This is an option.’”

Since then, Xeno began using male pronouns and changed his Penn–recognized gender to “male,” an option that Penn allows for students who are transitioning but have not yet changed their gender legally.

Other: a person who refuses to acknowledge the gender binary that “neither” implies

Gender fluid: a person who experiences and flows through gender identities.

M A R C H 2 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5

F E AT U R E

He prefers to describe his identity as one in “gender flux” rather than being a trans man.

When X e n o c a m e out to his pare n t s last August, they called his gender–questioning a “college phase,” since he hadn’t displayed the classic symptoms of gender dysphoria as a child. Rather than seeking to understand his identity, his parents brought him to a therapist who specialized in personality disorders and threatened to cut financial support

AMY

if he began hormone therapy. Since he couldn’t afford the hormones on his own, Xeno sought help from the Mazzoni Center, an LGBT health center downtown that offers subsidized trans healthcare, where he pays $40 without insurance for a multi–month supply of testosterone.

Xeno’s experience is not uncommon. Without the support of parents, attaining gender–affirming treatments can be challenging and confusing.

And while Penn insurance covers both hormone therapy and gender–affirming surgeries (as of August 2010 for students), dealing with insurance providers can be nightmarish.

Josie has been pursuing chest masculinization, or “top surgery,” since September, which he describes as “seven

College Houses presents the

2014

PENN STUDENT

Explore your creative talents, become engaged in Penn's film community and win great prizes!

We are accepting submissions of films which will be screened in the College Houses over the course of four nights. Prizes range from $500 to $100 — not to mention the chance to screen your cinematic artwork in front of a large audience!

months of legwork, fruitless searches, and banging my head into walls.”

Although Aetna will cover up to $50,000 toward gender–affirming surgeries, Josie found it nearly impossible to find an in–network surgeon who performs trans–health operations, and when he finally did, Aetna refused to cover the procedure, counting it as “cosmetic surgery.”

After months of persistence, Josie—with the help of Rebecca Schept, the LGBT Center’s Program Coordinator—finally got Aetna to cave. However, he still has to meet all of the pre–certification requirements for the procedure, which include letters from mental health professionals to confirm that he has certifiable “gender dysphoria.”

In 2013, the term “gender dysphoria” replaced “gender identity disorder” in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, acknowledging that identifying with another gender isn’t a mental illness. It’s only the related distress, or the dysphoria, that’s problematic.

For trans students at Penn, much of that distress comes from the fear that their peers won’t understand or accept their identities, will neglect to use their preferred pronouns or will gawk at them in their preferred bathroom. Every day can be a struggle for acceptance—but we can all do our part to make it easier.

“Before I acknowledged that I was trans, gender was a very big part of

what I thought about every single day,” says Gary. “But the thing is, it gets better— not because your gender identity ever changes, but because you stop thinking about it so much and then your life gains other meaning.”

KATE Arielle Pardes is a senior from San Diego, CA majoring in Gender Sexuality and Women's Studies. She is an opinion columnist for the Daily Pennsylvanian. Her preferred pronouns are she, her and hers. *Gary asked to remain anonymous in this article since many of his peers do not know that he is transgender. **These definitions are fluid and open to interpretation.

For complete rules for submission, please see the website below. The competition is open to all students of the University of Pennsylvania.

Submission deadline is Wednesday, March 26, 2014.

XENO 1 6 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E M A R C H 2 0 , 2 01 4

FILM & TV

MOVIE PARTY VS. PENN PARTY Movie Party: Frat Party in “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen” The lengthy beginning of “Transformers 2” features a pre–breakdown Shia LaBeouf attending college. As all college students do, he attends a frat party with nifty lighting, techno music and, of all things, cake. Here’s the twist you know so well: the scene was actually filmed at Penn’s very own Castle frat house, so even though Castle’s Graffiti party doesn’t have any cake or brothers in too–tight Ralph Lauren polos, we felt obligated to include it.

Movie Party: Kegger in “Dazed and Confused” Alright alright alright, one of the most epic movie parties of all time happens in “Dazed and Confused.”

Supposedly taking place in 1976, an incoming freshman named Mitch gets the chance of a lifetime to party with upperclassmen (and out–of–classmen, like Oscar–winner Matthew McConaughey’s iconic character Wooderson) at an outdoor kegger underneath the town’s "moon tower." The kid drinks a beer, smokes a joint and kisses a girl all for the first time at that party. Alright alright alright, indeed.

Movie Party: “Tower of Power” in “21 & Over” The “Tower of Power” is a competitive drinking game party where players have to beat all the games in order to get to the top floor of the house and win the prize. For the two protagonists in “21 & Over,” the prize for reaching the top is the chance to talk to their blackout friend's buddy and find out where he lives so they can take him home. Conquering the likes of beer pong, lengthy keg stands, quarters, suck and blow and the gallon challenge (yes, with milk), these guys epically make their way up four floors to finally get the info they need.

Movie Party: Toga Party in “Animal House” Ah yes, the ultimate movie party.

Nothing will ever top the cinematic excitement of John Belushi and his frat brothers chanting “Toga” as Otis Day and the Knights play the world’s best live version of “Shout.”

We recommend you don’t try to best these boys.

Ever watch a movie and just wish you could go to a banger that cool? Open your eyes, little quakers: there’s cinematic rager magic all around here at dear ol’ Penn.

Penn’s Next Best Thing: Castle’s Graffiti party One of Penn’s few truly open–to–the– public party staples, the graffiti party happens every year around the end of September. Partygoers are advised to wear clothes they don’t mind never seeing again, and while there’s no cake, it’s got the same oversaturated amount of DJs as the “Transformers” version of a Castle party does.

Penn’s Next Best Thing: NSO on Chancellor The Penn party scene isn’t exactly known for embracing the great outdoors, probably because about 75% of our school year is spent in some kind of miserable and cold precipitation. The one party we can always count on being outside, though, is the Chancellor darty every year during NSO. Not even rain can cancel this baby—the bros been prepared with tents in the past.

Penn’s Next Best Thing: Around the World parties A number of frats host “around the world” or “hotel” parties, so we could’ve picked any house for this one. Typically boasting room themes like Germany, Mexico, Japan and Total Blackout, Around the Worlds feature the same kind of variety as the competitive “Tower of Power." Except, in this case, you don’t have to win anything to have a good time. Instead, you’re free to wander the halls indulging in as many jaegerbombs, margaritas, shots of sake and Natty Light as you want.

NOT the Next Best Thing: NSO Toga Party In efforts to preserve the truly awesome nature of the “Animal House” version, we advise you skip the NSO toga party hosted at the Penn Museum, because not only is there no chanting, but frozen grapes are not all they’re cracked up to be. Oh, and did we mention that this version is dry? No thanks.

M A R C H 2 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 17

FILM & TV

Film & TV recaps the biggest Oscars drama, Perez style.

MERYL STREEP

JOHN TRAVOLTA

Next time you end up drunk and alone at Allegro in search of a slice, just think, “what would Meryl do?”

Oh right, get two.

We know that you’re "wi–cked–ly" talented, but was your “Saturday Night Fever” not enough to thaw your “Frozen” brain? Adele Dazeem? I guess we can just start calling Scientology "total bullshit."

AMY ADAMS

We get that you hustled your ass off this season, but come on. Napping? This isn’t Rebecca Stein’s Econ lecture. This is the Oscars. Perk—no, not perc—the fuck up.

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FILM & TV

LUPITA NYONG’O

The breathtaking goddess was undoubtedly well–deserved as winner of Best Supporting actress. She was one of the few people that didn’t consult a thesaurus for her uplifting speech, which was a refreshing reminder to young people everywhere that "our dreams are valid too."

LEONARDO DICAPRIO CATE BLANCHETT

Easily the biggest upset of the night, the wolf was left licking his paws with no award (for the fifth time...). As Jordan Belfort himself once said, “The only thing standing between you and your dream is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why can’t achieve it.”

Keep pounding your chest and there will one day be an award named after you.

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY Alright, alright, alright. Granted, a well– deserved winner of Best Actor, but the southern charm was not enough to keep us from shedding a silent tear as you stole the award from poor Leo. Neither was your cringe–worthy speech. While it had its redeeming moments, can we all really be our own heroes? Even while watching all of Veep in one sitting and eating a carton of Phish Food?

In Blanchett’s acceptance speech for her award for Best Actress, she did anything but tell her fellow nominees to #suckit. While Blanchett apparently got a lil’ boozy with Julia Roberts before the show, she eloquently delivered one of the few speeches that did not nauseate the audience with cheesiness (in her sexy Australian accent, no less). Undoubtedly a hotter version of Amy Gutmann, Blanchett had a powerful feminist message that definitely nominates her for the next spokesperson of “The Vagina Monologues.”

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FOOD & DRINK

HEALTH FOOD FIXES FOR WHAT YOU SPRING BROKE

Street wades into the realm of health food buzzwords and “one strange secrets” to find the least bullshitty items of the detox underworld.

OREGANO OIL While your parents might have warned you to check your bags for bed bugs and other critters that may have hitched a ride back to Penn, you may still have an undiscovered but equally unwanted guest chilling in your lower intestine.

Though it tastes like someone’s rubbing your eyeballs in Italian seasoning, oregano oil has been clinically proven to be incredibly effective at ridding the body of intestinal parasites. You might develop an unbridled hatred for the herb, but that’s a small price to pay for a critter–free colon.

MILK THISTLE EXTRACT After a solid week of marinating your liver in tequila and chimichangas, the poor guy deserves a helping hand. While a balanced diet and a normalized sleep schedule (ha, right...) is your best bet, the active ingredients in milk thistle extract have been clinically shown to aid the liver in the detoxification process. Milk thistle might not (read: definitely will not) cure a case of Hep A, but it might help get you back on your horse in time for the weekend.

SEAWEED A number of seaweed varieties have long been known to aid in detoxification and filtration. Studies on toxin remediation have shown that many edible seaweeds are great at pulling out heavy metals such as lead and cadmium, and apparently they’re second to none at lapping up radioactive strontium (all you who spent break hiking around Chernobyl or diving near Fukushima, we got your back.) A number of seaweed powders and dried sheets are available online or down in Chinatown, but make sure the manufacturer is reputable—seaweed is even better at toxin remediation when it’s alive, so if harvested from polluted areas it’s likely to already be up to its ass in nasty stuff.

Bonus Round: World's grossest detox concept— excluding things that go in your ass.

RAW, FROZEN COW LIVER In a nutshell, this detox concept advises you to purchase from your local butcher a pound of his freshest cow liver, chop it into bite–sized pieces, wrap them individually and stick them in the freezer to be consumed, raw and frozen, a piece a day. The rationale is that all the nutrient components your liver needs to function and heal itself will be the most bio–available in another animal’s raw liver. While the science is still out (behind the house, retching a little) on this one, there’s something romantic about the concept of eating another animal’s organs to gain its strength, almost a la creepy shaman–priest from “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.”

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FOOD & DRINK

Check out these spots for a post–spring–break detox (if raw liver isn’t your thing).

Four Seasons Juice Bar Reading Terminal Market 51 N. 12th St. (215) 925–4448 readingterminalmarket.org

Yellow Juice Bar 2046 Sansom St. (267) 519–8296 yellowjuicebar.com

Why to go: This juice bar is reasonably priced and easily accessible via SEPTA—just take the Market Frankford Line to 13th Street.

What to get: Order the carrot, cucumber and ginger juice ($3.65 for 16 oz.). Add a shot of wheatgrass if you’re feeling adventurous (additional $1.50).

Why to go: They’ve also got a food menu, so you can enjoy your juice with a banana twirl ($3.50) or a healthy lunch.

What to get: Try one of their fruit and veggie blends ($6.48 for 16 oz.), like carrot, orange, spinach, kale and mango.

Ryan Crown’s Juice Club 1425 Arch St. (215) 519–8935 rcjuiceclub.com

Why to go: He’ll personally design a juice cleanse for you and deliver the beverages right to your doorstep.

What to get: Ask Ryan for suggestions and he’ll make you a juice with whatever’s in season.

WHILE YOU WERE AWAY...

Federal Donuts opened up on campus, so now you can actually make it there before the fancies are all gone. Plus, they have tons of new menu additions. Chocolate Covered Stawberry and Marshmallow Marshmallow have joined the fancies family ($2 each), and Chocolate Peanut Butter and Orange Dream are additional seasoning sugars for the Hot Fresh selection ($1.25). They also have five new types of fried chicken: Buffalo Ranch, Pad Thai, Sweet Soy Garlic, Furikake (toasted sesame seeds, bonito flake and nori) and Moussa (parsley, onion, saffron, coriander, cumin and sumac).

Federal Donuts University City 3428 Sansom St. (267) 275–8489 federaldonuts.com

You may have taken a break, but the Philly food scene sure didn’t.

Lolita, Chef Marcie Turney and Valerie Safran’s Mexican eatery, announced that they’ll be re–opening this month! And they’ve completely redesigned both the space and the menu. They’ll offer mainly small plates and a few sharable entrees, with prices ranging from $8–$24. While there’s no more “BYO Tequila” policy, Lolita will still have margaritas with their popular mixes, as well as “Aguas Fuertes,” which are cocktails made with freshly squeezed fruit and vegetable juices.

Lolita 106 S. 13th St (215) 546–7100 lolitabyob.com

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REVIEW: SHATTERING EXPECTATIONS, MAGIC GARDENS Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens has a groundbreaking—or in this case, tile–breaking—new exhibition that is guaranteed to change the way you think about mosaic. “Shattering Expectations: MOSAIC 2014” is an exhibition in partnership with the Mosaic Society of Philadelphia, a non–profit organization dedicated to promoting and supporting the practice of mosaic art in the city. Featuring the work of some of the most accomplished mosaic artists in the country, “Shattering Expectations” reveals how this unique art form extends far beyond its normal aesthetic conventions.

“The eight artists represented in this exhibit are trailblazers and innovators in the use of a medium too–long regulated to the ‘decorative,’” writes Nancie Mills Pipgras, editor of Mosaic Art NOW and juror of “Shattering Expectations.” “These are makers who find mosaic absolutely necessary to realizing their artistic visions. The texture, color, reflectivity or translucence of the materials inspires them. The meditative, whole body experience of making enthralls them.”

Featured artists include Karen Dimit, Yakov Hanansen, Yulia Hanansen, Samantha Holmes, Rachel Sager, Carol Stirton–Broad, Carol Talkov and Brooks Tower.

Their talents range from being entirely self–taught to studying with Italian master mosaicists. Each tackles a

different theme, including climate change, technology, feminism, beauty and self–discovery. All agree, however, that mosaic is their only mode of artistic communication. “I have always viewed the world in pieces,” states Talkov. “Only when all the pieces are assembled do I see the full picture; mosaics give me the language to express this.”

Submissions from Yulia Hanansen’s “Forces of Nature” series are one of the many highlights of “Shattering Expectations.” Inspired by satellite imagery as well as articles on the environment and climate change, Hanansen creates beautifully colored and intricate forms of hurricanes, fires and powers of water and wind. “The series is a visual exploration of movement, flow of matter and overlap of static views into one dynamic scene,” she explains. “I achieve these effects by overlaying glass tesserae in multiple directions.” The result is an elegant, shimmering portrayal of what are normally viewed as chaotic elements.

Another artist that stands out in this exhibition is Pittsburgh–native Rachel Sager. Sager explores the ideas of place, travel and the unknown in her artwork, and mosaic serves as the best medium for her to stretch the boundaries of these themes. Her brightly colored works include a wide range of materials, from

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naturally unearthed tesserae to pieces of computer printers. More often than not, however, Sager builds her art “literally from the Earth beneath my feet.” She elaborates on this, explaining, “often, that Earth has a story to tell, and I see it as a privilege to have tapped into the knowledge of how to tell those stories in stone.

It is important to me to build art that embraces both concept and craft.”

Creative, unconventional and literally down–to– earth, “Shattering Expectations” provides a deeper sense to the art of mosaic, a medium regarded as purely aesthetic. “Chaos, fragmentation, the literal breaking of the constituent elements: there is a violence at the heart of mosaic,” says artist Samantha Holmes. “But it is the connection between this process of destruction and that of creation...that offers a commentary on contemporary living, and a possible way forward.”

The exhibit will remain at the Magic Gardens until April 20th.

CAROLYN GRACE

no corking fee

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ARTS

For your next Kodak moment, choose your equipment wisely.

Polaroids’ heyday may have passed, but enthusiasts aren’t ready to let the instant–film cameras die. With a filter that makes Instagram jealous, Polaroid cameras promptly print photos, which develop in minutes.

Pro tip: “Shaking it like a Polaroid picture” may, in fact, ruin your pictures.

Who uses it: That one friend with an Instax Mini.

When to use it: To impress your friends.

Analogue cameras, or film cameras, have fallen into two categories: passe and retro. Most film cameras are now defunct and have been replaced by newer, digital technology. Still, SLRs remain a true testament of photographic skill. From setting the aperture and shutter speed to processing prints in a dark room, using these vintage cameras is a process, albeit an artistically rewarding one.

Who uses/used it: Your parents When to use it: When you take “Intro to Photography”

Digital cameras are the present and foreseeable future of photography.

Whether an affordable point–and–shoot or a thousand–dollar DSLR, they take high–quality pictures, and it’s rare to find one with under 10 megapixels. Snap away on an “auto” setting or learn to manipulate the settings manually. Either way, these cameras can store thousands of pictures and easily download to your computer later.

Who uses it: Your little sister, your cultured friend abroad, the event photographer at your frat formal.

When to use it: To savor any and all memories.

Disposable cameras, with the familiar sound of winding the camera and the satisfying “click!” with each photo taken, will always provide an element of nostalgia. The fun continues when you finally get the film developed (CVS at 43rd and Locust Streets is one of the few places that still develops them) and flip through the photos for the very first time—not having a viewing lens is surprisingly rewarding.

Who uses it: Your camp friend, the “alternative” girl at the party, Kay Lu (C '15) When to use it: During parties or vacations for a more candid collection of photos.

Lomography cameras pack an artistic punch. Each model— from the Holga to the fisheye to the Diana—creates unique images with different, colorful effects. Some may be blurry, others grainy, others 360˚ panoramics. They’re often wind–up film cameras, so you’ll have to decide if the photoshop–esque results are worth the hassle of developing them.

Who uses it: Hipsters.

When to use it: On a cross–country road trip, on a rooftop during the summer, on a camping trip.

The iPhone camera may just make point–and–shoot digital cams defunct.

Unless you’ve resisted buying the Apple device, this camera is always at your fingertips, so you can instantly text, Tweet, Instagram or mupload your day–to–day life (or meals). With eight megapixels, it also puts other mobile cameras to shame.

Who uses it: Who doesn’t?

When to use it: At a party, in class, at brunch.

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highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

PENN'S STOREFRONTS FOR ART

34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

Up until a few weeks ago, the walk past Distrito towards the SEPTA station on 40th and Market seemed pretty bleak.

Even today, just one block away from the “Penn bubble,” buildings stand vacant and the familiar groups of backpack– clad students have dispersed. Nevertheless, a new program, Run Through the Rotunda, is attempting to liven the area by using the empty storefronts as gallery spaces. The project is intended to engage pedestrians on their daily commute and to infuse art into usable spaces.

The Rotunda, in collaboration with Penn, began working on the storefronts late in 2013. The windows were cleaned inside and out and the bars removed. Shadow boxes were built so artwork could be easily installed and the vacant stores behind were no longer visible. What’s more, power was installed in the spaces, and timers will soon be set up to illuminate the works between sunset and sunrise. This will undoubtedly transform the street and make it more interesting and welcoming, while simultaneously offering exposure for the artists.

Ed Datz, Executive Director of Real Estate in Penn Facilities & Real Estate Services, said, “The properties along this block are identified for redevelopment. The current buildings are not suitable for retail without significant investment and it was determined that replacement was the higher and better use. Exact size and scale will be identified through the development process. The arts program is to activate the corridor until this redevelopment advances.”

The first pieces, contributed by the artists of the 40th Street Artists–in–Residence Program, were installed earlier this semester and will be exhibited for six to seven weeks. Each storefront is different, as Gina Renzi, director of the Rotunda, explained—it was up to the artists to decide what to put in the spaces. One set of windows, on the corner of 40th and Chestnut, contains drawings made out of hair by Brenna K. Murphy, whose work is also currently on display at the 40th AIR Gallery.

The Rotunda is looking to Penn students to fill the pop–up spaces. As Gina asserted, the spaces have endless possibilities—artists have free reign, within reason, to display what they want. From drawings to funhouse mirrors to graphic work to sculptures to fashion—the sky is your limit! Go crazy!

CIARA STEIN

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FILMA R T S

We catch up with the anonymous DO YOU PAY PER VIEW? freshman photographer capturing

How

Film polled you to find Humans out howofyou are Sunday afternoon thegetting faces ofyour Penn, one portrait at a UPenn

BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN movie fixes. Here’s what we learned. time.

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Fifth Avenue has been replaced reotype, the one that says all colWhile 75% of us watch movwith online shopping. And lege students are poor? The free ies online, nearly 50% pay for FYEs everywhere have virtu- movement of information made it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a ally been rendered useless (pun possible by the interweb makes new release on iTunes — is hysintended) with the terical, but is Street: What has existence been yourofmost notable encounter doing Humans of UPenn?

Whose recommendations do you take? the multifarious iTunes store. it worth the "On theare first I was here out, it was50snowing and cold and I was47.7% starting to think that it1.5 wasn’t a at Things nonight different salads Other great idea.

Then I saw a cute couple walking close to each other under an umbrella, I ran up to at Penn, where the Rave gets Sweetgreen 40% 40 A Friend how I start the themhalf andthe asked them if they nearly traffi c for the had heard of Humans of New York (That’s usually it would conversation).

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This Ramen noo10 *Students surveyed were “It’s true.” allowed to choose more makes sense. We Penn dles aren’t “Well...Yesterday wasstudents my birthday, and she made me the best birthday cake ever.” than one option. are “By toomyself! busy I practiced procrastinating that bad, I for a week!” 0 on Penn InTouch and designguess. ing(Pictured funny lacrosse pinnies for entertainment accessible and The average Penn student above, left) the clubs we’re involved in to inexpensive to anyone with an (who is anything but average, if Checkofout the interview with Humans of UPenn at Amy 34st.com! leave the comfort ourthe bedsrest to ofAirPennNet account.

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LOWBROW

LOWBROW REVIEWS YOUR TAN 50 Shades Darker:

You had some k!nky $EXXX

SOUVENIRS OF SPRING BREAK

(It's a matching game dummy, plz use No. 2 pencil ) DESTINATION

SOUVENIR

15 shades darker: Blacking out in the sun was a good idea, second degree burns are so in this season. TURNT UP? MORE LIKE BURNT UP

Puerta Vallarta

An STD (from a fellow Penn student)

Five shades darker: Trying too hard with tanning oil and probs sun–in for your hair #judgingu

Two shades darker:

Miami/Panama City, Florida

A newly developed wine palate

Two thumbs up for that tan au natural bb

One shade darker: Minus points for the tan received from the glow of your MacBook screen (max brightness) as you binge watch “House of Cards” in your bed

Boca Raton, Florida

Eurotrip!!1!

Home

A year’s worth of hip #tbt Instagrams and a million free promotional sunglasses

A variety of STDs Best friends for a lifetime (or the next month or so)

5–10 lost pounds Somalia

SXSW

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A moth ball smell you can’t wash out of your clothes, leftover hamantaschen

An extra 5–10 pounds

LOWBROW

AN INTERVIEW WITH A:

Her Instagrams looked hella cool so we sat down with her to hear more about what seemed like a ~life changing~ spring break trip.

Tell us about your itinerary.

Well, I really just went where the universe guided us. From hostel to hostel, town to town, meeting with other free spirits along the way, connecting, sharing food and drink, just basically being Lana Del Ray. But where did you go?

Oh, right. Where didn’t we go? Amsterdam, Paris, London, Seville.

So you were really only in each city for about two days...

Yes, but each stay felt like a lifetime; I’m assuming you’ve never been through Europe, but it was like I was born again each time I arrived in a new city. It helps that Europeans are so progressive and that the drinking age is so low. The time really flew by, but at the same time it was an existential eternity.

Alright then. Any great food you’d rave about?

I mean, obviously the croissants and baguettes in Paris were just to die for. But it was really the wine that was the highlight of Paris, the pubs in London and the discotheques in Seville. European society is so much more accepting than America, what with only needing 16 or 18 years of age to drink.

What was your favorite part of the trip? Other than drinking, that is.

Probably the football game we went to in Seville. American soccer just isn’t the same, especially since you don’t have to deal with the hassle of a fake ID at the stadium.

Legally enjoying a beer and watching a game is just amazing.

What was the biggest culture shock?

You know, I thought it would be the language, but I have to say the European view of alcohol was refreshingly different.

It’s not about binge drinking; it’s all about leisurely enjoying some drinks with dinner.

It was truly enlightening to be a visitor of such an open continent that allows people under 21 to drink. Sorry, am I going on too much about this?

No, please, tell us more about the drinking age.

I could talk for hours about it! Wine is cheaper than water across the pond, can you believe that? And speaking of water, the trip really changed me...I can only drink Perrier now. I’m never going back to tap water. If you had to insist on bottled flat water, Evian would be the only possibility, but I’d really rather have a nice merlot.

Our tans aren't fake, but this section is.

Did you visit any good museums or historical sites?

Oh yeah, at the Anne Frank House we got to see Justin Bieber’s signature in the guest book! That was really exciting. Also in Amsterdam we went to the Heineken factory.

That was an incredible experience.

How has your life outlook changed?

Well now I come to dinner, like, "Where’s the cheese plate, my betches?" You know, I didn’t think Europe would change me...and it didn't. I'd more say that I changed Europe.

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March 21–23: Live in denial and pretend it’s still St. Patty’s/PV/ not tundra

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23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 April 4: Last day to withdraw from that 9 am lecture you never attend April 14: You probably have a paper due because life.

April 22: Realize you need to find a formal date. Take a Xanax.

April 24-May 1: And so formal season begins….

May 4

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March 24–April 6: Advance registration, as if you think that far in advance April 1: “Breaking Bad” creator Vince Gilligan speaks + free meth (sry, April Fool’s…)

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18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 May 13-16: Senior Week. DFMO that kid from your freshman hall again for old times sake.

May 19: Commencement. Outie 3000, seniors, C U @ homecoming.

Notes

To Do List

Buy the rest of your books Go out less Blackout more BYO class on Fling Thursday (Bonus points for even showing up) Remember Fling or at least take more pictures Federal Donuts Federal Donuts Federal Donuts Find a paid internship Find an internship Waitress???

Catch up on readings….at least the Sparknotes Have weird sex somewhere weird Win a prize at University City Pinball Duet with Kweder Go to office hours….with your hot TA Go to a damn Street meeting

April 10: Fling April 11: Flang April 12: Flung April 12-15: Divine punishment for your Fling sins. Stock up on Pedialite.

April 14-22: This is the week where you matzoh give up the bread. Sorry. About the pun and the carbs.

April 20: Easter Sunday. Also Passover.

You probably celebrate Passover.

May 1: Hey Day. Seniors: say goodbye to social relevance.

May 1-2: Reading days…cheers?

May 5-13: Some say that if you don’t acknowledge finals exist, they just go away. Try that.

That class you’ve skipped all semester, in under 140 characters

@psych001: Freud says you want the D. @mgmt100: You hate people. If not, people probably hate you. @writsem: Says—Nothing. Does—Nothing. @orgochem: Fluorine–uranium–carbon–potassium this shit