March 29, 2012 by 34th Street Magazine

March 29, 2012 34st.com

Philadelphia's mobile food vendors move to form a union PHILLY DELIS • LOWBROW'S NEW CLOTHES • LYRICS DECODED

march 29

2012

3 HIGHBROW

the roundup, word on the street, overheards, dispatch

Film Remakes

4 EGO

ego of the week, make the most of spring

6 FILM

prof, remakes, van pick, titans review

8 FEATURE food trucks unite

10 MUSIC

lyrics & music, reviews, concerts of the week

12 FOOD & DRINK

Best Phila–Delis

dance, artist profile

14 LOWBROW

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

(f)arts, drink & food

The following is NOT a paid advertisement: Hello, readers. If you’re still reading, it must be because you value my opinion highly, and are curious as to know who I will be voting for for the office of Undergraduate Assembly President. You might expect Street to stand on a platform that is staunchly non–partisan — after all, doesn’t an authority on arts and culture have a responsibility to its readers not to conflate personal political beliefs with content? Isn’t our job to create a product that transcends these divides, and promotes the sort of valuable shared experiences that give flavor to life? But without consultation from the rest of staff, I would like to

Call us maybe?

officially endorse Jake Shuster as a candidate for the UA President for the following reasons: 1. He once got drunk in our office and brought us cookies the next day to apologize. 2. He’s friends with a few people I’m friends with. 3. He made a game for his campaign called Jaketris. 4. We’re supposed to hang out this weekend I think? Yo, fuck all those responsibilities. See y'all. I’m voting for SHUSTER. Unless I decide to write in one of my housemates.

Food Fight!!!

delidelphia, morning after, penn palate

13 ARTS

FROMtheEDITOR

JUMP START

It may be too late to save your souls now that Carly Rae has taken over, but it's not too late to give Street a chance. Come check us out at our…

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16 BACKPAGE philly green spaces

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Elizabeth Horkley, Editor–in–Chief Joe Pinsker, Managing Editor Adrian Franco, Online Managing Editor Hilary Miller, Design Chloe Bower, Design Sarah Tse, Photo Laura Francis, Assistant Photo Zeke Sexauer, Associate Design Paige Rubin, Highbrow Zacchiaus Mckee, Highbrow Faryn Pearl, Ego Patrick Ford–Matz, Ego Tucker Johns, Food & Drink

Nina Wolpow, Food & Drink Colette Bloom, Feature Leah Steinberg, Feature Sam Brodey, Music Frida Garza, Music Daniel Felsenthal, Film Alex Hosenball, Film Ellie Levitt, Arts Megan Ruben, Arts Anthony Khaykin, Lowbrow Sandra Rubinchik, Lowbrow Alexa Nicolas, Backpage Lauren Reed–Guy, Copy Ben Lerner, Copy Patrick Del Valle, Copy

34st.com Online Associate Editors Inna Kofman Ali Jaffe Elena Gooray Katie Giarla Cover Design: Chloe Bower & Hilary Miller Contributors: Michael Scognamiglio, Dan Blas, Brian Horwich, Robert Holub, Kim Pinsker, Jefe Moore, Brian Horwich, Jake Spinowitz, Hyland Murphy, Isabel Oliveres, Tacos al Pastor, Olivia Rutigliano, Julie Kozeracki

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Elizabeth Horkley, Editor-–in–Chief, at horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898–6585. To place an ad, call (215) 898–6581. VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "And it works because I haven't had sex before!" ©2012 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

DISPATCHES: TIËSTO LINË 1:35 a.m.: Check my email one last time before passing out to get in line at 6 a.m. 1:36 a.m.: Several emails and texts tell me that the line is already like 100 people long. Shit. 1:40 a.m.: Frantically text everyone I know asking if it’s crazy that I’m thinking about going now. They call me insane and tell me to go back to sleep. 1:45 a.m.: I really want these tickets, but I’m not going to wait eight hours outdoors alone. I just need to find one friend that’s as psychotic as me. 2:02 a.m.: Found my psycho. Pack an air mattress and snacks into a bag and I'm ready to go. 2:13 a.m.: Arrive at the line. Jeeeeesus it’s huge. Phi Delt guys are playing house music from their camp at the front of the line. I assume we’ll be hearing "Levels" several times tonight. 2:22 a.m.: Set up camp after finding an outlet to inflate the air mattress. Friend has begun live– tweeting. This is going to be a long night. 2:44 a.m.: We receive our hand stamps and, soon after, our wristbands. People are getting vicious. Kappa Sig even brought a tent. This shit is serious.

4:04 a.m.: Couples all around me are making out in shared sleeping bags. Kill me now. 4:30 a.m.: Wake up from my passed–out state to my friend tweeting a picture of me. Bitch. 6:05 a.m.: Phi Delt begins blasting Bassnectar’s "Bass Head." What an alarm clock. 7:12 a.m.: The late crowd shows up expecting tickets and walks away disappointed. Showing up just three hours early? That’s cute. 7:39 a.m.: Being in line is kind of like being in a zoo. People stop, stare, point and take pictures. Fluff up my hair and try for exhausted–chic. 8:40 a.m.: The line has divided itself into two distinct camps: the back–end slums and the cushy front end. As a back–ender, I shoot angry glances at the fancy section of the line. Snobs. 10:46 a.m.: Success! Glory! The tickets are in my hand. I cradle them like a set of newborn twins. 3:15 p.m.: Line buddy informs me he sold his ticket to a desperate Tiesto fan for $350. Fuck that. I waited in line for eight hours and I will see Tiesto up close and personal. He better rock my world.

THEROUNDUP

Kid in Huntsman: Sam just killed me in Wharton assassins but guess what? I give zero fucks. Frat bro in Tiesto line: Is this your house? Is it your living room? No! This is a motherFUCKING line. Girl leaving Hunger Games midnight premiere: Do you think if Kevin and I fought to the death he would be my boyfriend again? Guy in Houston: Oh, I forgot I had string cheese in my pocket.

BY LEAH STEINBERG

he Word on the Street column often ends with some sort of inspirational conlusive statement. This one was going to end with praise of the concept of “discovery”. In a fit of inspiration, I decided to skip the actual article. Here’s a list of things recently discovered by myself and others: The nightgown is the most comfortable item of clothing. // Today I discovered that maybe I don’t want to be involved in as many groups as I am right now. // Very few movies, proportionally, represent multi–dimensional women. // The Ottomans besieged Vienna twice. // The materiality of language. // On the internet, Ragu asked: “What’s Your Latest Dinnertime Discovery?” and invited everyone to join the “Momversation.” // My inner feminism and the heterosexist oppression in society. // I miss LOST. // Starbucks Cake Pops. // The main thing I miss about home is wandering around Costco with my family. // Zoroastrianism. // A mouse in the vent by the tables in Houston. // AskJeeves.com is now just Ask.com // That there’s no one I feel more sympathy for than the Witches of Salem. I hope they were actually witches, but it’s still unjust that they were killed. // Sangria. // There’s no ‘o’ in tendinitis. // Twin Peaks! On Netflix Instant. // My parents are great. // Doxycycline has been stuck in my throat for 10 hrs. It is burning my esophagus. It hurts badly. // What would America’s West Coast be like with a strong train network? // I rediscovered Oreos. // Meditation. // I discovered a new type of dinosaur that I didn’t know about before. // Not to blow any minds here, but as far as trends: vampire Germanic fairy tales. // Penn has exactly one Olympic– sized swimming pool. // Times New Roman was created in 1932. // It was a trap. // Broad City, the webseries. // How they make naan. // Poetry readings are humorous. // It’s better to just say hi to the person if you’re not sure if you should say hi or not. // You can block people on Twitter. // One Penn Russian professor used to be a speed skating champion. // I don’t want an internship this summer. // Before we grab something our visuomotor system has already approximately calculated the width that our fingers must spread to accommodate the objects. // Cheesesteaks. // The cut on my nose is going to scar. // I can’t not study for exams and get good grades like in highs chool. // Sometimes you just need to know when to stop talking. // The high five wasn’t invented until 1973. // Veganism.

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

The things we go through to bring you guys gossip every week. We had to fight the rest of Street in a battle to the death this weekend, just for the small pleasure of reporting your weekly scandals. We hope it leaves you hungry for more. Odds are you'll find these stories amusing. Kappa Sig and AXO have had a little bit of a rough few days after their recent wedding–themed mixer. Both parties threw respective bachelor and bachelorette parties beforehand and the Kappa Sig brothers went all out and hired strippers to service the event. Sources tell us the strippers were a little too harsh because one senior woke up with some pretty bad welts. Ouch! Maybe don’t go for the BDSM package next time, guys. One frat on Locust took a leaf from Nancy Botwin’s book this weekend. A source tells us that one brother had a pound of pot shipped to him through the mail to their chapter house, which did not go unnoticed by the authorities. The DEA found out about their little shipment and stopped by the house with a few questions. The boys managed to escape any serious punishment, but they better be on their best behavior. One guy claiming to totally not be a Theos pledge caused some ruckus over at a house on Baltimore on Tuesday night by screaming and throwing things at the house and getting arrested in the process. A cop arrived, taking the boy away before he did some serious damage, except to his future, that is. The freshman, who declared he was “in the fourth percentile of his class,” spit on the cop and claimed Wharton was the “best fucking fraternity in the world.” Wharton pride! Highbrow hears Pi Lam's president and some Tabard pledges threw down this weekend. When two Tabard freshmen showed up during a brotherhood meeting to talk to the co–ed frat's prez, he was anything but welcoming. Sources tell us he took their lunch boxes and threw them into the street, shattering some shotglasses and causing the girls to cry. Apparently Pi Lam isn't all peace, love and acid trips. We just hope the Tabard pledgemasters weren't too hard on them.

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EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: SHOMIK SARKAR

NEC chair Shomik Sarkar loves elections, babbling infants, and protecting your right to complain. Oh, and he's gunning for your job, Amy G. Street: What’s one thing everyone should know about the Nominations and Elections Committee? Shomik Sarkar: If the Supreme Court and the White House press office had a baby, it would be the NEC. Street: If you were caught in a political scandal, what would you want it to be? SS: I want it to be something fun. Like… “too nice to people.” Street: “Shom caught being too damn nice.” SS: Has there ever been a fun political scandal? I have no point of reference here. Street: There have been Penn political scandals. SS: Yeah, there have been. My whole life revolves around Penn political scandals, so I don’t really want to get into it at this point. Also, I just have to re-

main neutral, so I don’t have any opinions on any political scandals. I’m the most neutral person on this campus. Street: “Shom caught being neutral.” SS: Yeah, that would be my scandal. Street: If you could pick any person, fictional or nonfictional, to run for president, who would it be? SS: Well, I want to be Amy Gutmann. If she ran for President, I could take her job. Done. Street: Who’s your favorite Supreme Court judge? SS: William Howard Taft. He was President, Supreme Justice of the Supreme Court and got stuck in a bathtub. Those are three life goals of mine. Street: There are two kinds of people at Penn… SS: Those who vote in student

elections and those who don’t. And the ones that do vote are the only ones who have a right to complain about things that are going on on campus. And! The right to complain is a very important right. That’s more than two… Street: What’s your spirit animal? SS: I was almost a dog. My older brother was seven and all his friends had dogs and little brothers, so he demanded to my parents that he get a dog or a little brother, so my parents made the correct decision in picking a human. So they had me. That would be weird if I was a dog, right? Street: This interview would be very different. SS: I wonder if my parents would've named it Shom… Street: What’s your guilty pleasure?

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SS: I’m really into funny baby videos on YouTube. I have one that I really like called “Baby makes compelling argument.” It’s just like a baby babbling incoherently and spinning around in circles. It probably just reminds me of myself as a child. Or maybe now. Maybe at 2 a.m. on a Saturday. Street: If you could have any condiment squeezed out of your nose, what would it be? SS: That’s the strangest thing I think anyone

has asked me in my life. Blue cheese. No! Blue cheese and buffalo sauce, blue cheese on one side and buffalo sauce on the other. Street: What’s one thing you wish you knew as a freshman? SS: I wish I knew all the different things student government had to offer and how important voting in student government elections is. Street: That was a great plug. SS: Right? Yeah, that was a shameful and awesome plug. Vote at www. pennstudgov.com by tomorrow at 5 p.m!

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Spring is finally here. And when we say finally, we mean since February. Make the most of global climate change with these quick tips. wkwardly DON’T: A etween b squeeze in dozing post– d n a s e pledg ollege iors on C thesis sen Green. time on your tan DO: Get Hall. f College the roof o ns, a t the me Philo’s go e goods. t th you've go

te DON’T: Spend da in it n' gi night sman your Radian single. u Everyone can see yo . ay yw an , ut from Waln ial ec sp ur DO: Take yo er somebody to dinn e lik y, nc fa someplace at tio pa r the outdoo rc. Stephen Starr’s Pa an th wi Couple that ugh evening stroll thro se ou nh breezy Ritte sure Square and you’re al. de to seal the

DON’T: Waste time ruining your knees on the treadmill in the muggy hell that is Pottruck. DO: Head down to the waterfront and go for a run by the river. We’ll even throw in that nasty Schuylkill scent that really makes it feel like home.

DON’T :S indoors ettle for a clas s . Fisher –Benne so last s tt is eason. DO: Lo bb to hold y your profess or class som like Per elman Q ewhere uad. Pr tip: pet oitio thing lo ns make every ok reall y legit.

DON’T: Eat hot fo ods. Are you an idiot or something? DO: Capogiro ice cream (best in the world, supposedly) for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You’re in college, baby! Go wiiii ld.

self k your dy. c o L : DON’T Fisher to stu n d. away i athe too lou the e t You br the books a 's t i re e H h : T DO les. b a t s eing s compa be said for se o a lot t g seen. in and be

enn ‘13 ar your P Class e W : ’T DON tshirt. Ivy Swea ot having Vintage tn cute, bu ading off pride is sc sweat ca er. beads of cut ehead is s your for your Fling tank t r o y p r S r DO: n’t wo e arly. Do a week e ing ‘em again th r a be e ’s w t t le u abo ause c e b d n e k a next wee t, no one’s gonn r e b hones m e rem . y a w y an

DON’T: Was te mounds of ca sh on cabs or ta ke your life into your hands o n SEPTA. DO: Rent a bike from the Qu ad/ Hill and ride on into Cen ter City. The tr ip’s only around 15 minutes and there are des ignated bike la nes the whole w ay. Just be prep ared for major cro tch soreness the next day.

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AT PENN: DO’S AND DON’TS

nks. ced Urban ta ri rp ve o n o anyway. te money DON’T: Was er enough to go in there, eek ipst Greek W You’re not h sors to your is sc f o r ai p ion anyway. DO: Take a crime of fash a y ad re al shirt. It was

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34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

Come talk to us tonight and we'll give you a 6-pack of beer...

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A FILM GUIDE TO YOUR CINEMA STUDIES PROFESSORS: How Penn Students Watch Movies JOSEPHINE PARK Borrow from Library DO PAY VIEW?as Dr. Park, known for her class on Asians in Hollywood. After Few filmYOU professors couldPER be as well–liked all, 34

Don't Watch Movies where else do to watch Mr.are Miyagi wax on/off for aafternoon grade? BY ALEX HOSENBALL 24.6% Film polled youyou to figet nd out how you getting your Sunday Theaters movie fixes. what Street: Was thereHere’s a film that madewe you learned. BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN demographics of the Academy and how elegance and warmth of Ozu, and I see

Streaming want tohough consider teaching themwatch as a Hugo in theaters. And we you guess then that distant they seem to be 47.7% from audiences echoes of his workFree (with some sharper we all know the Penn stuprofession? who are looking for fresher and more adedges) in the fi lms of Hirokazu Koreeda. 16.9% Paid Online Services Internet is for porn fit this mold of overworked Ivy dents would prefer to get their Dr. Josephine Park: I was primarventurous representations. (thanks Avenue Q), the League students well, with only RomCom fix online with free ily trainedisinnoliterary but I about knew 17% of Penn undergrads streaming websites like SideReel Street: If you could start a new film bedroom longerstudy, the only Iarea wanted to think and talk about fi lm Street: Certain directors are always study class at Penn, what would it be 9.2% being ceded to digital terri- watching movies at the Rave ev- and Ch131 rather than pay for when I saw Blade Runner. I saw it way pushing boundaries, moving their and why? tory. For every girl with daddy’s ery semester. services provided by Netflix and too many times in high school and pictures into more expressionist (and JP:1.5% I’d love to do a class on science ficAmEx, window browsing on But how about the other ste- Redbox? memorized it. Years later, when I pursometimes almost oppressively diftion and race. I suppose this could go Fifth Avenue has been replaced reotype, the one that says all colWhile 75% of us watch movsued Asian–American studies, I saw how ferent) territory. Has there ever been back to my Blade Runner obsession, but with online shopping. And lege students are poor? The free ies online, nearly 50% pay for rich the fi lm was for thinking about race something you’ve seen that went too there so much exciting scholarly work Photo credit: Greg Benson FYEs everywhere have virtu- movement of information made it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a Why do you go to the ismovies? in America. I fi rst loved it for things like far in this direction? right now on speculative genres and race. ally been rendered useless (pun possible by the interweb makesin screening new release on iTunes — is hyscultural forces. And these 3.1% 6.3% Rutger Hauer’s “tears in rain” blather, JP: Well, I have a pet peeve against Lars I’d love to look back at science fiction intended) with the existence of terical, but is Other films, we can examine how these actors but then I appreciated the complex Von Trier, though I should admit I’ve from the fi rst half of the 20th century Whose work recommendations do you take? the multifarious iTunes store. it worth the within and against these constricIt's a way to hang out with friends world presented in the fi lm. seen few of his fi lms. And Melancholia, and trace those ideas and images into the 25% 50 Things are no different here 1.5 salads at 47.7% tions in their performances. Other It's a good study break 40.6% which I also didn’t see, had a beautiful present. at Penn, where the Rave gets Sweetgreen 40% 40 Street: half You’ve trailer. interested in theories of conA Friend It makes you feel relaxed and happy nearly thebeen traffiteaching c for theAsians in Street: The Academy Awards this it I’m would past Hollywood for a couple of years now, that arise Street: To what for effect Cinema Studies straint and the artistic visions 25% midnight screenings of blockhave cost if Required Classhas your own 30 year primarily Major and 26.2% 25% went 25% to The Artist how have the paradigms shifted for out of restrictions, but the version I’ve upbringing affected your readings of buster hits like Twilight as Hulu I had seen it Professordeor TA Hugo, was there anything that 20 Asian actors over the past few years? seen in his work struck me as ungeneracertain fi lms? does the day after the newest in theaters? served more recognition? Street JP: Well,ofin 30 some waysairs. there hasn’t been tive. JP: Being Asian–American certainly episode Rock This JP: Alas, I’ve been so buried in surveyed olderwere Ramen noo10 *Students much change at all, unfortunately. A key allowed to choose more makes sense. We Penn students dles aren’t es seven movies, more orshapes less, how I watch movies. For example, movies that I didn’t really make it option. to the than one part of the course is tracing the long– Street: By the same token, who do you I remember how uncomfortable I was 0 are too busy procrastinating that bad, I every semester. Simple arithmemovies very often this past year. It is instanding power of a set of stereotypes think has the most powerful vision watching Fargo and being surprised that on Penn InTouch and designguess. tic proves that it’s $40 cheaper teresting, though, to consider what kinds that haven’t gone away, but what’s internowadays? no one seemed to say anything about ing funny lacrosse pinnies for entertainment accessible The average of audiences thoseand awards address and Penn student to watch said movies on Netflix esting is the way that they shift to accomJP: This is diffi cult because there are so the portrayal of the uber–nerdy Asian– the clubs we’re involved in to inexpensive to Ianyone (whoabout is anything serve. noticedwith moreancoverage the but average, if than at the Rave, and an addimodate changing political, social, and many, but just to pick one: I love the American in it. leave the comfort of our beds to AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watch- tional $20 less on iTunes (cost

BY THE NUMBERS

of popcorn and Mike and Ikes not included in these calculations). The low cost of watching seven movies on iTunes for >> Total amount of less than 30 bucks is worth the money spent in movie OF THE WEEK many conveniences that online theaters* by Penn paid services afford us: not bestudents each semester ing interrupted by incessant the worst bufferingProbably and commercials, the movie ever made. [VP Call viruses Number: DVD 019 067] immunity to computer and most importantly, not hav-Cult movies have evolved since Rocky Horror. The year is 2003, ing to wait 54 minutes after the man>> is Tommy Wiseau of and his Total amount watching 72 minutes of a movie movie ismoney The Room. WispentStarring watching on Megavideo. seau himself, along with some who close online, if all people Not to mention, it’s a small and afor girlonline of questionable paid services price to pay when you lookfriends at age, Theused RoomiTunes* is a “black comedy” the big picture — the combined with a rather loose plot structure. savings of the 47.7% of Penn Of course, Wiseau never initially students who pay for their online planned it that way — The Room services rather than going to the was meant to be his dramatic, Osmovie theater is somewhere becar–winning debut. tween $196,136 and $295,344, >> Total amount of In actuality, the acting falls flat at every turn, and Wiseau depending on whether they use money spent watching himself dubbed into his own movie. Thankfully the film Netfl ix orseems iTunes, respectively. online, if all people who becomes infistory nitelyis:quotable because of this fact, let alone due to Moral of the we won't paid for online services its fallible andin throwaway characters. judge if you logic just stay bed. used Netflix* So, next time you’re in Van Pelt, treat yourself to this gem and 15–minute sex scenes *A its simple random sampleand melodramatic acting. You can *$12.50/ticket the become Rave into practice for the midnight in LAatand a of get 100 Penn undergrads were showings *$3.99 to rent a movie on iTunes born–again cult–movie virgin (here’s to you, Rocky Horror). surveyed to collect data about *$7.99/month on Netflix their film viewing habits.

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With Mirror, Mirror and Wrath of the Titans both being released this week, Street decided to take a look back at some of the most (in)famous remakes of the past couple of decades, separating the wheat from the chaff so you don’t have to. By DANIEL FELSENTHAL, ALEX HOSENBALL AND JULIA LIEBERGALL

The Good Remake: True Grit (2010)

The Bad Remake: Taxi (2004) A Jimmy Fallon–Queen Latifah pairing would under no circumstances be a promising one. But for a brief moment in the mid– 2000s they both seemed like stars — Fallon was leaving SNL for a surefire career in the biz a la Adam Sandler (right?), and Latifah’s prospects were on the upswing after making Chicago. Taxi made them both seem less able to handle leading roles. Based on a 1998 film by Luc Besson, the Tim Story–helmed piece follows a cab driver (Latifah) who helps a police officer (Fallon) catch a bank robber (Gisele Bundchen). More importantly, this all happens because Fallon's character (who presumably had to pass a driving test to even qualify for the force?) can’t drive. The film continues to make less sense as it progresses. At least audiences didn’t have to deal with three sequels — which the original Besson piece, and understandably not the remake, merited.

The Weird Remake: A Woman, a Gun, and a Noodle Shop (2011)

The Reframe: The Manchurian Candidate (2004) Though some may consider Jonathan Demme’s remake of Sinatra’s classic a complete travesty, it does prove a rather clever update of the original. In the 1962 version, Sinatra’s Capt. Ben Marco must save the presidential race from a dangerous assassin brainwashed by the Chinese; in this remake, Denzel Washington’s Marco fails to find help until late in the film, almost allowing the unspeakable to happen. Demme’s update brings the film into the context of the 2004 election, highlighting fears of conspiracy, an excessively strong executive and the Iraq War.

The Screen–to–Stage Remake: The 39 Steps (2005) After waking up to find a beautiful spy dead in his apartment, the suave Richard Hannay embarks on a journey to protect her political secrets from being stolen by a mysterious villain who’s missing half his pinky finger. This is the plot of Alfred Hitchcock’s supposedly serious 1935 film The 39 Steps, transformed by Patrick Barlow into a 2005 stage farce. The story is identical and the dialogue is verbatim, but now a four– person cast plays 150 roles, actions are pantomimed and everything is slapstick; it is resourceful, hysterical and just as respectful of its filmic lineage as it is rebellious.

FILM REVIEWS

THE GREEKS OF WRATH Wrath of the Titans is drier than the scrolls it draws from. By Julie kozeracki

hen vengeful Hades and rancorous Ares join forces to unleash the Titan Kronos, Perseus (a wooden Sam Worthington) must venture to the Underworld to save his father Zeus. Though it makes no bones about being more of a vehicle for CGI than for mythology, the movie is never thrilling. Although it mercifully spares the painful dialogue of its predecessor, without a substantial plot or charismatic lead to carry it, the action falls flat. Despite these limitations, the 3D effects are impressive without being distracting, while Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes (and their magnificent beards) at least seem to be having fun. Ultimately bounded by its flimsiness, Wrath of the Titans does not actively offend, but it does not actively entertain either.

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

Strangely enough, Chinese director Zhang Yimou remade Joel Coen’s directorial debut, Blood Simple. However, while the Coen bros' original was stylized as a neo–noir thriller, Yimou’s remake transported its characters and plot to China, adding a dose of slapstick and wackiness to an otherwise morose movie. Though the film may have garnered much praise both from the Coens and on the festival circuit, audiences may remain skeptical, fearing it to be a bastardization of a Coen Classic.

Few can deny the pure talent dripping from every pore of the Coen brothers’ bodies, and this holds true for their 2010 western, True Grit. Initially inspired by the famous John Wayne adventure of the same name, the Coens stuck closer to the original novel upon which Wayne’s film was based. In that case, perhaps True Grit does not strictly fall into the “remake” category, instead straddling the line between reconsideration and adaptation. Nonetheless, the Coens still manage to infuse their unique (and consistent) brand of dark humor.

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REMAKES REMIXED

highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow 8

Park was one of the few that Philadelphia opens up to truckers. “That revenue word scares people, like here it comes, this is how much it’s going to cost us. And it’s not. We’re about bringing you revenue, about bringing the neighborhood revenue.” What Dan is talking about is the utilization of pilot lots — of vacant spaces owned either by the city or privately that can be taken up and beautified by truckers to generate income for themselves and for those to whom they’ll pay their fees. If the Mobile Food Association is as successful as it is planning to be, by this time next year there will be tens of Love Parks equipped with rotating rosters of food vendors springing up all over the city. This will give vendors the chance to try a new market and each community a chance to eat from a new vendor — it will facilitate the culinary culture that distinguishes mobile food venues from brick and mortar restaurants and take–out windows. And though in the past few years Philadelphia’s mobile food operators have gone beyond hot dogs, cheesesteaks and pretzels to provide everything from vegan barbecue beef hoagies to artisanal ice creams, they want to do more. They just need the place to do it. Take New York’s Long Island City Food Truck Lot, for exam-

ple. The lot was established by the New York City Food Truck Association (NYCFTA) last summer after Queens cracked down on vending out of metered spaces. It has the capacity for 16 trucks, and the NYCFTA is charged with organizing the rotation. Los Angeles, too, has capitalized on these extra spaces. The Southern Califor-

a mobile food venture. Foote and several of her classmates created a presentation and organized a workshop to help disseminate their ideas to the community. The attendance at the workshop was impressive, and Andrew Gerson was in the crowd. And that’s how it all began. Gerson’s business proposal — his Culinary School

some conditions. “Dave said, look, I believe in you. Let’s give it three months,'” Verna told me at Town Hall Coffee in Merion Station. “Stop,” Dave interrupted. “You need to preempt that with the fact that Verna’s first thought for the menu was lambburgers on a lavash with tzatziki, feta cheese and tomatoes. Lamb is three dollars a pound. Is there a profit in this?” Turns out, there was. They found a truck and named it Vernalicious. On the day of her debut at the Bryn Mawr Farmers’ Market, Vernalicious sold out every pound of lamb in stock Wolpow — 20, for the record. Then Verna and Dave closed up, went back to the commissary (the place trucks are required under current regulations to do all of their stocking, rationing and preparation for the day), restocked, and drove to Franklin and Girard for a night round (how late this went, they could not divulge; vending after midnight is another of the city’s no–no’s). But things for Verna were not as easy as her first day made it look. In order to get their truck up and running in the city of Philadelphia, Verna and Dave needed to go through four different departments, with four

STATE OF THE UNION by Nina

a look at philly food politics nia Mobile Food Association and its attorneys have worked tirelessly to open the city and its periphery to food truckers; in 2011, the association sued the suburb of Monrovia for refusing to allow mobile vending on its streets. This kind of legal help will be indispensable in Philadelphia, too. It has been already. Last fall, Dan, Gerson and the other chairpeople of the PMFA teamed up with the University’s Entrepreneurial Legal Clinic, headed by Professor Praveen Kosuri, to get their organization off the ground. It all started last November, when second–year Penn J.D./ M.B.A. student Lauren Foote “quarterbacked” (this was Professor Kosuri’s word) a pro– bono project that would advise local entrepreneurs on starting

thesis — met Foote’s pro– bono graduation requirement, and the impetus behind the Philadelphia Mobile Food Association was born. Since then, it has been taken up by the Legal Clinic, where students like Kimberly Wexler and Adam Katz are able to practice under Professor Kosuri’s license.

For much of her life, Verna Swerdlow owned a boutique optical store in Bryn Mawr. Then one day she decided she’d had enough of spectacles — she wanted to open a truck, and her boyfriend, Dave, a general contractor and the owner of a snow removal business, wanted to buy her one, but there were

different staffs between whom little is communicated. Those are the city’s Streets Department, Licensing and Inspection (or L&I, as everyone seems, through clenched jaws, to call it), the Health Department, and the Department of Commerce. “It seemed like the story kept changing. The closer we thought we were getting it seemed like the further away we became.” In the end, the price of certifying her truck was about $10,000, which, of course, was before it was subjected to L&I and the Department of Health. If all goes according to plan, the PMFA will change all this, or streamline it at the very least. As a registered 501(c)6, they will have the ability to lobby for better rules and regulations and to bring industry–specific details to the attention of city officials. They won’t be required to have three sinks, like restaurants do (trucks don’t wash dishes on site, so the extra sink is unneeded), or be relegated to cutting rolls and packing patties in faraway commissaries. “City Hall is a very complex place,” Professor Kosuri explained, “I think the Mayor understands all this stuff, but the Mayor can’t act alone. Everything happens through City Council. That’s where it gets really complicated because you have … people who have a personal interest to maintain their power and to control what activity occurs in their ward, and sometimes that has nothing to do with what is best for the communi-

ty or best for the city.” Most importantly, the association will act as a venue for interaction and education among its members, which will include licensed cart and truck operators, potential or hopeful ones, and “allied members” (corporations related to the mobile food industry, like auto insurers and truck manufacturers). The association will, in a sense, give a name to a community that has laid roots in Philadelphia already, at least as far as Verna and Dave see it. “It’s a brotherhood,” Verna said, "We’re all trying to figure out what works for us, we’re all trying to make a living." In December, Dave fell 20 feet head–first off a ladder, breaking every bone in his face. The accident put the couple and Vernalicious out of commission for two months. When Dave left the hospital, the first thing he did was visit Love Park. On March 5, Vernalicious returned to Philadelphia, “Hey Drexel … You are our first stop on Wednesday after our 2 month ‘vacation.’ Do you think you could come show Dave some love?” she tweeted.

The meeting has ended. One by one and in small groups those who have come to see the PMFA form file out of the room and into the reception area outside. Some of them will join right there, some will go home to sleep on it in the few hours before they pack up and head to their commissaries, and, as occurs with all associations, some won’t join at all. Still, as two hopeful vendors in

matching green shirts stoop to sign their membership papers, one word seems to reverberate in the halls of the Law School: solidarity. And maybe in the end, Andrew Gerson will get his truck. “I figure we might be a year out. It’s still definitely something I’m passionate about,” he said. But for now, the association is the biggest thing on Gerson’s mind. “There are other people out there without licenses, without certification. It makes it difficult for them to want to be part of the system. We want people in the system, paying their taxes and generating revenue, but the system has to allow for that. That’s where we see the association, as having the ability to be a part of the discussion. Let us have a voice at the table.” Gerson said it: mobile food in Philadelphia is ready to go. Along with Dan and the several others who have stood up to get the association off the ground have taken their chances, they’ve gone the distance to codify what was only a few months ago just a series of ideas. But this is just the beginning. PMFA, welcome to the city; we hope you’ll keep your grip.

Nina Wolpow is a Sophomore studying English. She's from Wellesley, MA and as of last week, her favorite food truck is Zsa's Gourmet Ice Cream Truck.

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

t the first official meeting of the Philadelphia Mobile Food Association (PMFA), Dan Pennachietti is shaking hands — with everyone. “Dan,” he says, slipping out of one palm and into the next, “I’m Dan, good to see ya.” He is wearing a plaid button–up shirt; the first time I met him, by his truck at Center City’s Love Park, he wore a black tee with the slogan “It’s gravy — not sauce!” printed across the front (he’d seemed

Tonight, the association's steering committee and its potential members have assembled to form a union. As the Italian Mayor Daley of food truckers, Dan knows everyone, and wants everyone to know him. “It’s important to me that my business is looked upon in a friendly way,” he told me. “I care about your business and I care about your time.” To call Dan a people person would be a titanic underestimation, but tonight he seems nervous. And so does Andrew Gerson, the hopeful owner of Strada Pasta, a food truck he’s been trying to launch since he returned from culinary school in Italy last year. “I just wanted to thank you all for being here tonight,” Gerson says as he takes the podium, “It’s really beautiful to see you all here.” From a speaker somewhere, Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” begins to play and a PowerPoint is launched. It’s go time. You can tell. These guys are fed up. They want new regulations, less red tape and more intergovernmental communication. And judging from the crowd that packs the room, they’re not the only ones.

I've lived in University City for two years now; I am no stranger to mobile food. But my meeting with Dan was the first time I’d eaten at Center City’s Love Park, a haven for skateboarders and hungry Philadelphians. Situated just behind City Hall, the Park is named for the Robert Indiana sculpture installed there ten years after his initial one was placed on Locust Walk. Today, four trucks are stationed on the north side of the park: Pitruco Pizza, the brick oven–on–the–go; Jose Garces’s Guapos Tacos, which serves up everything from duck barbacoa to tortilla soup; boyhood friends Jonathan Adams and Damien Pileggi’s Rival Bros Coffee; and Lil’ Dan’s, the gourmet sandwicherie Dan named after the son he lost seven years ago. These are not the only food trucks in Philadelphia, and as Dan would probably tell you, they might not be the best ones, but they are the only ones allowed in the park. And this, according to Dan (and the other supporters of the PMFA), is the problem. Well, it’s one of them. In order to park and operate where they do, Dan and the others pay the city $75 a day ($50 in the winter months). “They’re taking pavement space that they have and making money off it,” Dan said of Philadelphia, “It’s a great idea.” But Dan is a businessman. He’s a salesperson. Where the city sees a great idea, Dan sees a greater one — make it bigger and make it easier, and everyone makes more money. That’s his philosophy. “We go to city council and what are they worried about? They’re worried about revenue,” Dan explained when I asked him why Love

highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow

disappointed that I arrived early — he was planning to run out and change).

highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow

MUSIC

MUSIC & LYRICS

Are you the one caught at parties only drunkenly singing a song’s chorus? No more! Our in–depth look at the lesser–known throwaway lines of today’s biggest hits will give you the info you need to drunkenly sing the whole thing, too. BY SAM BRODEY AND FRIDA GARZA

Song

First Line

"Call Me Maybe"

by Carly Rae Jepsen

“I threw a wish in the well / Don’t ask me, I’ll “I trade my soul for a never tell” Carly Rae is invoking a wish, / pennies and classic love–story device, dimes for a kiss” as seen in such noteworthy tales of romance as The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Or The Ring.

Who is this bitch datin’? COINSTAR?

Easiest to Misinterpret

Why the Chorus is So Good

“I beg and borrow and steal / at first sight and Not only is it great to belt out at the top of your it’s real” Slow your roll, Carly Rae. We thought you were so wholesome — getting turned on by ripped jeans and whatnot — but here you are, breaking lots of laws. For shame!

lungs, but you can also use it as an opportunity to give someone your number in a really creepy way. It might work. But if it doesn’t work, don’t blame us.

"Somebody That I Used to Know"

“Now and then I think of when we were together / Like when you said you felt so happy you could die”

“Have your friends collect your records and “Make out like it never then change your num- happened and that we were nothing” ber”

"We Are Young"

“Give me a second I / I need to get my story straight / my friends are in the bathroom / getting higher than the Empire State”

“Carry me home tonight / Just carry me home tonight / Carry me home tonight / Just carry me “My seat’s been taken It’s generically appealing, by some sunglasses / with special overtures to home tonight” No one likes the friend that asking ‘bout a scar” young pyromaniacs who

by Gotye

by fun.

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

Weirdest Line

This is a classic “open the song with a total buzzkill/ I’m not over you” move. He sets the tone and alerts us to find Kleenex ASAP.

This activity is presumably somewhere between cooler than tending crops in the Garden State and not as cool as mining in the Golden State.

"Domino"

“I’m feeling sexy and free / Like glitter’s raining on me” This is in the same musical time as “Call Me Maybe”. Try it. We predict a mash– up in the near future.

by Jessie J.

con

s t r ce

Unless Gotye is withholding some big information about this relationship– gone–wrong, this girl is overreacting. Who changes their number anymore, anyway?

gets so wasted that they need to be carried home. Even worse is the guy who asks a million times to get carried home.

“We could do this all night / Damn, this love is skin tight”

This is a plug for Trojan Condoms. Thanks for that, Jessie.

Who: The Joy Formidable When: Tonight Where: Union Transfer How much: $16 Why: Solid–as–a–rock rock music at a reasonable price? Count us in.

This line isn’t especially cryptic, but the intensity of Gotye’s warble here makes it just unintelligible. Good if you’re drunk and don’t know the words.

What do you think this means?

“You’re like a shot of pure gold / I think I’m ‘bout to explode”

Is this Jessie J’s hidden cry for help with her heroin addiction? Girl is about to explode. WHY?

Who: Delta Spirit When: Friday, 3/30 Where: Union Transfer How much: $15 Why: If you’re craving a helping of Southern–fried blues served right, this is the show to be at.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all been there.

like Queen.

This is just off–brand Katy Perry. If Katy Perry were Vicodin, Jessie J is the weird but equally effective stuff your parents buy at pharmacies in Tijuana.

Who: Sepalcure with Mux Mool When: Friday, 3/30 Where: The ARCH How much: $5 before, $10 there Why: It's the last show at the ARCH before it closes for a few years and it'll be an appropriately electro, groovy send–off.

For over a decade now The Mars Volta has been churning out an eccentric blend of experimental, post– hardcore rock for headbangers everywhere to enjoy. Now the beloved prog rockers are back with their sixth studio album, Noctourniquet, their first since 2009. Inspired by children's nursery rhymes, Greek mythology and the Superman saga, Noctourniquet is jam–packed with heavy, fast–paced tunes that layer obscure chord structures atop unorthodox beats and electrifying guitar riffs. Generally speaking, these tracks are both shorter and less experimental than those on previous Mars Volta efforts. Gone are the 10–minute epics and ear–melting sections of Omar Rodriguez–Lopez guitar work — in their place is a mesh of synth effects, which, while interesting, is a disappointing departure from traditional Volta style. — Jake Spinowitz

HAPPY TO YOU – MIIKE SNOW The Swedish electronic–pop trio Miike Snow creates music that camps out in your ears longer than caffeinated undergrads on the walk for Tiesto. With an arsenal of instruments that rivals that of your middle school band class (including a flugelhorn), this album is just as catchy as the first, but more spacious and better–paced. The mysterious and intimate vocals keep the sound grounded, and even sometimes hint at dark themes beneath the playfulness of the music. Songs like “Paddling Out” and “Pretender” will definitely keep you grooving around campus this spring. — Michael Scognamiglio

highbrow ego film feature music arts lowbrow

NOCTOURNIQUET – THE MARS VOLTA

Music is starting a band called The Snow Volta. Join us. @34ST

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34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

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I NEED: A) A BIKE B) SERVICE C) PARTS D) ACCESSORIES

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highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow

PENN DELPHIA: SIX PICKS FROM OUR FAVORITE PALATE: PHILLY SPOTS FOOD&DRINK

Thought delis were just a New York thing? Think again. The Local: Koch’s Deli (43rd and Locust St.) What to get: The Restaurant School ($10.95)

— corned beef, honey turkey, brisket, cheese, slaw and your choice of Russian or mustard, done double–decker on rye or a roll

The Show-Off: Hershel’s East Side Deli (Reading Terminal) What to get: Pastrami Rebuen ($10.75) — pas-

trami, coleslaw, swiss and sauerkraut on buttered bread

The Kids' Meal: Pine St. Deli (16th and Pine St.) What to get: The grilled cheese with bacon ($4.75) — how it sounds, but better

The Garden Girl: Govinda’s Vegetarian (Broad and South St.) What to get: Philly Chicken Cheesesteak ($7.95) — soy chicken and grilled rainbow peppers with soy cheese and mayo

The Pig: Tony’s Restaurant (21st and Ludlow St.) What to get: The hot roast pork sandwich

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

($6.25) — roast pork, sharp provolone and spinach on a Keiser roll

The Old–School: Cosmi’s Deli (8th and Dickinson St.) What to get: Sam’s Cheesesteak Trio ($6.95) —

mushrooms, peppers, onions served on a roll

What you need: Leftover grilled cheese (best with bacon and tomato) 2 eggs Milk Parmesan Butter or cooking spray

FREXAS TOAST ‘Cause it’s so DELIcious

Whip eggs with milk, stir in parmesean. Pour onto a plate or rimmed cookie tin. Soak grilled cheese, two minutes at least on each side. Heat a skillet and butter or spray. Cook sandwich as with French Toast. — Nina Wolpow

A Q&A with Koch's Deli's Biggest Personality Street: What would you put in your ultimate sandwich? Ezra Haim: See the "Heavyweights," number three on the menu, the “Restaurant School”? I’d get that. It has everything. Street: Other than Koch’s, what’s your favorite sandwich place in Philly? You have to answer. EH: This is my favorite place! This is all I eat! This is spiced beef. Nobody has this. Street: So you’ve never had a sandwich from anywhere except here? EH: Once I was at Quizno's in Princeton. I had no choice. Street: What’s the craziest order you’ve ever gotten at Koch’s? EH: This one guy, he gets honey turkey, double meat — don’t forget we give nine ounces! Double bacon. We give four slices. Double mayo. We give four slices of cheese. He gets double cheese. He’s the double man. Street: If you could live off one sandwich meat for the rest of your life, what would it be? EH: Corned beef special. Street: Corned beef? EH: Corned beef special. Russian and coleslaw. Street: If you could add one thing to the menu, what would it be? EH: We have everything! Hummus. Street: So how do you stay in such good shape? EH: By going out with pretty women like you.

ARTS

Lyndsey Wheeler

DANCIN' FEVER

Add some rhythm to your week by checking out these dance performances that combine sleek moves with video installations and martial arts. BY MEGAN RUBEN AND ELLIE LEVITT 1. Reflexions

Performance Garage 1515 Brandywine St. March 29 at 7:30 p.m. March 30 and 31 at 8:00 p.m. $10 for students

PHILADELPHIADANCE.ORG

The only thing better than a dance–theater performance? Six nights of dance–theater performances … duh. Indigenous Pitch Dance Collective is dancing for a fantastic cause. From North Philly to Haiti, the group strives to bring hope to children who are victims of natural as well as socioeconomic disasters with after–school programs that offer the healing power of dance. Reflexions speaks to the devastation experienced by these children along with IPDC’s belief in a more compassionate society.

2. Beyond the Bones

Painted Bride Art Center 230 Vine St. March 29–31 at 8:00 p.m. $30 in advance, $35 day of show PAINTEDBRIDE.ORG Student discount available by calling (215) 925–9914

4. Complices

First Philadelphia Flamenco Festival Christ Church Neighborhood House 20 N. American St. PASION Y ARTE March 19 –April 1

$18, tickets available at pasionyarteflamenco.org Though Flamenco dancing originated centuries ago, the staging and sophisticated multimedia in “Complices,” performed by Philly’s own feminist Flamenco dance troupe Pasion y Arte, will blow your 21st century mind. Hitting the stage for the last week of March, the all–female show created by renowned Spanish choreographer Rosario Toledo challenges gender roles through narration and humor. You can even sign up for free master classes taught by Toledo herself. What are you waiting for? ¡Baile, baile!

Check out an extended interview and images of Lyndsey Wheeler's work on her ARTIST PROFILE at 34st.com!

3. Peekaboo Revue

Sigma Sound Studios 212 N. 12th St. March 31 at 8:00 p.m. $35, tickets available at oldecity.eventbrite.com (21+)

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

How bout a good ol’ neo–burlesque variety show? Let us clarify. In a single steamy show, neo–burlesque performances combine cabaret, comedy and attractive people in skimpy outfits. Peekaboo Revue has been featured everywhere from Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim Fan Picture Show to Cirque du Soleil’s post–premiere party. We promise this performance will be raunchier than that trashy romance novel under your bed, and maybe even a little more socially acceptable.

5. Still Life

AUX at Vox Populi 319 N. 11th St. March 29–31 at 7:30 p.m. TOBI ROTHLEIN and April 1 at 2 p.m. $15, tickets available at mirodancetheatre.tix.com What happens when a daring video artist runs into a long–time member of the Philadelphia Ballet? MIRO, a collaboration between director Tobin Rothlein and dancer Amanda Miller, is at Vox Populi this weekend to share a new installation. In a collision of video, live performance and contemporary dance, Still Life reassesses over 40 ordinary situations — fractured moments of everyday life. In an extremely versatile performance, the pair will push you, through physicality and animation, to spy on the familiar with a new lens.

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

If you’re into philosophy, martial arts or limber individuals, this is the show for you. Choreographed by internationally recognized Kun–Yang Lin, this contemporary performance blends traditional movements of East Asia with Western dance. Inspired by Lin’s experience with September 11th, his father’s death and a personal near–death experience, the choreographer’s performance explores themes of mortality, public versus personal spheres and the instinctive qualities of human nature.

highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow

LOL

highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow

LOWBROW

GRABBING TALENT BY THE HORN Ellie Ruben’s art debuts in the halls of Penn Alexander’s lower school. Street takes a closer look. BY SANTANA LeBROW

econd–grader Ellie Ruben’s “Unicorn in the Clouds,” exhibited in Mrs. Galperin’s outdoor bulletin board showcase, is the work of a sophisticated årtístë. In this simple drawing, she masters a certain je ne sais quoi that is simultaneously very quoi. The image transcends time, space and understandability, which is why we have such a profound appreciation for it.

The main subject matter of the drawing, a uniquoirn, is placed upon a landscape bearing no visible horizon line, symbolic of the time Ruben gazed outside her airplane window on the way to her grandparents’ house in Miami. The view was aesthetically–pleasing and the image of the uniquoirn came to her in a Dramamine–induced dream sequence. Similarly, the rainbow in

the foreground is also an autobiographical memento. The way in which it is bled completely of its color expresses the artist’s deepest desire and preference for Oreo cookies, which her mother consistently neglects to pack into her lunchbox for snack time. Beyond these personal touches, the unconventional use of dots on the derriere of the uniquoirn is a postmodern nod toward the pointillism of Seurat, and the uniquoirn’s single eye is reminiscent of Van Gogh’s single ear. The drawing’s maturity is impossible to overlook, from the sensual peeking of

the sun from behind a cloud in the corner to the mischievous blush on the uniquoirn’s cheek. The artist is clearly well–versed in Freudian thought, as the mystical horse with its protruding horn is most obviously a symbol of the same penis envy harbored by the artist herself. Bravo to Ms. Ellie Ruben! Her debut work has surely set the bar high for

any future collections. Be sure to see this drawing before the exhibit closes on April 1st to make way for the fifth grade display.

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

Fresh Prints

Check out these Penn grads and Philly–based artists! Because fashion is just art that you

wear.

In honor of everyone’s favorite holiday this coming Sunday, Lowbrow decided to pull the ultimate prank. This week, Lowbrow presents Arts and Food & Drink of these sections with a cultured twist of our own.

Local ingredients and a great salsa selection

justaddthis CHIPOTLE BURRITO

BY JUCKER TOHNS & WINA NOLPOW | PHOTOS BY CAMERA

A DOLLOP OF ELMER’S GLUE

+ = Place a Chipotle burrito on the table. Gently twist off the orange cap of the Elmer’s Glue and turn the bottle upside–down, allowing for the viscous white liquid to make its way in a vertical motion down to the tip. Move the bottle in a consistent motion back and forth across the burrito below, making sure to apply the glue evenly. Allow your new dish to dry for 5 minutes, and voila! — your Chipotle burrito will never fall apart again.

PLAN B + WATER + CRYSTAL LIGHT Treat your hangover and your regret with this concoction. Even if the cosmos last night added a few pounds, at least the baby won’t.

odestly located under the mult– level parking lot on 40th and Walnut is The Fresh Grocer, a single link in the large Philadelphia supermarket chain. Its doors opened in 2001 and have closed never since, operating on a 24/7 schedule. Although the predictable demise of the Pronto earlier this year is unfortunate, it also means that the restaurant now functions as a BYO. Dress at this restaurant is casual, but the spotty lighting creates a very romantic ambiance that's perfect for first or second dates with freshmen. The diagonal aisles, glass displays and sparse decoration evoke a modern and minimalist feel, smartly placing all emphasis on the food itself. The selection at FroGro is really impressive, sometimes varying from Asian to Jamaican in one single ethnic aisle. Although there is no written menu, a server is always eager

to make recommendations and help you find your way — as long as you don’t look them in the eyes or smile. Daily specials include fried chicken wings with mac 'n cheese, California rolls and colossal hoagie platters, all of which are available at

a discount after midnight. We started with a pound of the smoked house turkey ($4.98/lb) for the two of us and paired it with Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda ($0.79). The turkey was very moist, and the soda was fairly wet as well. Our next course consisted of an array of 10 boxes of different Barilla pastas ($1.85), which we bought for the price of 11 and dressed with

Prego Natural Three Cheese tomato sauce ($2.99). The dish tasted just as our grandmothers used to make it. Stomachs full, we forwent dessert, though we did wistfully eye the doughnuts by the cash register. Next time. Overall, our experience at FroGro was simply enchanting, from entrance to checkout. The food was delicious, the prices were incredibly reasonable and the service was fantastic. The only shortcoming of the Fresh Grocer is that it does not accept bursar or dining dollars. Oh yeah, and the vermin. Otherwise, we highly recommend that you g(r)o.

highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow

THE FRESH PRINCE OF PHILADELPHIA

LOWBROW

THE FRESH GROCER 4001 Walnut St. (215) 222–9200

DON'T MISS: The seasonal Easter display SKIP: Down the aisles

$$$$$

Make your dollar go the extra mile at...

OF THE WEEK:

Martini — Olives + Pickle Because why do olives get to have all the fun?

Shoes 214 Books S. 45th Clothing St. Furniture (Between Locust & Walnut) Appliances Mon. - Sat. Computers 10 AM - 8 PM Household Items .............and more! www.TheSecond Want to Donate? Call for pick-up: 215-662-1663

34TH STREET Magazine March 29, 2012

DRINK

THRCOND M IFT ILE CEN STO TER RE SE

MileCenter.com 15

GET SOME GREEN We all "flocked" to Capogiro when National Geographic’ssaid it had the "#1 ice cream in the world,' and we all know how ratings–obsessed we are (see: your college decision). So, now that Frommer’s Travel Guides just listed Philly in the top 10 best cities for parks, stop being lazy and make time to go to some fresh green spaces downtown! SAUNDERS PARK | Powelton & 39th St. A relatively convenient large green space with long grassy stretches for laying and trees for shade (if you're into that).

POWELTON AVE. WASHINGTON SQUARE | Locust & 6th St. The green space Philly seems to be constantly yearning for and the perfect place to relax among some real history: it was created in 1862 and has actual Revolutionary soldiers buried under it.

LOCUST ST.

BARKAN PARK | Spruce & 50th Because Clark Park has gotten mainstream and this lovely lush green square is that much farther afield.

PANAMA ST.

SPRUCE ST.

FITLER SQUARE | Btwn. Panama & Pine on 24th With a fountain in its center and entertaining animal sculptures throughout, this peaceful and quiet sqaure is the perfect place to relax and fall out of your routine. The adorable neighborhood also offers some cute cafes — try Taste Buds Market or Good Karma Cafe. There's even a Farmers' Market on Saturdays from 10 – 2.

MALCOM X PARK | 51st & Pine With a playground and a large grassy area, this is the park of your childhood dreams.

PINE ST.

CIANFRANI PARK | 8th & Fitzwater A cute park with a nice winding path and some sweet gnarled trees in the southeast area of the city. Check out the Bean Exchange Coffee House nearby.

HEADHOUSE SQUARE 2nd & Pine Though the Headhouse farmers' market doesn't open until May, cobblestone streets and brick buildings make this quaint part of Philly worthy of a gander regardless. When the weather gets warmer, don’t forget to check out the fresh local veggies and pastries at the market.

FITZWATER ST.