April 7-13, 2016 34st.com
Learning differently STUDENTS WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES ON NAVIGATING THE MAZE OF PENN
april 7
LETTERFROMTHEEDITOR
2016
LOL
So I have a question: where the fuck did my junior year go? I’ve been having a pretty weird week (and I’m probably about to have a weirder weekend). Why? Because this week/weekend one year ago was a pretty pivotal point in my life. I woke up this morning to a lovely notification from Facebook’s “memories” feature, reminding me of exactly where I was and what I was doing a year ago. And, looking at this weekend, the same frats are having the same parties with the same people (mostly). But I’m a totally different person. I’ve changed a lot in the past year, and I think it’s all for the better. I don’t miss what was. But, facing such a distinct landmark in time is weird. It makes you stop and think about everything that is going on now, because you have something to compare it to in the past. It’s a reference point, and it’s freaking me out. I think we are all a little change resistant (p.7), but sometimes
3 HIGHBROW
pottruck, overheards, roundup
4 WORD ON THE STREET ready to graduate
5 EGO wxpn
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
7 TECH
apps get updates, headliner, tech bracelet
10 FEATURE
learning disabilities
12 VICE & VIRTUE high sex
15 FILM & TV
spotlight panel, new netflix shows, penn video network
17 ARTS
art book fair, book review, new books
19 LOWBROW LOL
quaker days
change can be good (p. 4). It can be weird/scary/sad to be faced with the end of something—especially if it’s an end that you didn’t see coming—but sometimes it can be the best thing to happen to you and, regardless, things always, always work out. This year feels like it flew by, but I don’t want to go back to the way things were a year ago. Instead of getting hung up on things that have already happened, I’m going to make this weekend mean something else. I don’t know what it will be yet, but when it rolls around in another year I promise that I will not be thinking about what I am now. Whatever change you are facing, take it as an opportunity to expand on yourself. Being static is incredibly boring and change is fun, you just have to let it happen.
WE DON'T HAVE A WRITERS' MEETING THIS WEEK, BUT PLEASE ENJOY THE ABOVE PICTURE OF A GUMMY BEAR BEING BURNED AT THE STAKE WHILE A GROUP OF GUMMY BEARS LOOK ON SILETNLY INSTEAD.
34TH STREET MAGAZINE Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief Mikaela Gilbert-Lurie, Managing Editor Giulia Imholte, Audience Engagement Director Jeffrey Yang, Design Director Remi Lederman, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director Dani Blum, Features Editor Orly Greenberg, Features Editor Mark Paraskevas, Word on the Street Editor Steph Barron, Word on the Street Editor Emily Hason, Campus Editor Julie Levitan, Culture Editor Brandon Slotkin, Entertainment Editor Rachel Rubin, Lowbrow Editor Genny Hagedorn, Highbrow Beat Keara Jenkins, Highbrow Beat Elena Modesti, Ego Beat Genevieve Glatsky, Ego Beat 2 34TH STREET MAGAZINE
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Melissa Curley, Music Beat Sydney Hard, Music Beat Talia Sterman, Music Beatlet Johanna Matt-Navarro, Music Beatlet Madison Bell-Rosof, Arts Beat Syra Ortiz-Blanes, Arts Beat Nick Joyner, Film and TV Beat Emily Schwartz, Film and TV Beat Zoe Albano-Oritt, Tech Beat Hannah Noyes, Tech Beat Dina Zaret, Vice & Virtue Beat Chloe Shakin, Vice & Virtue Beat Jackie Lawyer, Lowbrow Beat Jack Cody, Lowbrow Beat Nadia Kim, Design Editor Sofie Praestgaard, Design Editor Alex Fisher, Photo Editor Katie Dumke, Photo Editor
Isabel Zapata, Photo Editor Sara Thalheimer, Copy Director Elana Waldstein, Copy Director Sola Park, Copy Editor Chloe Cheng, Copy Editor Blake Brashear, Social Media Editor Rhea Aurora, Social Media Editor Staff Writers: Frank Augello, Caroline Harris, Mike Coyne, Hallie Brookman, Olivia Fitzpatrick, Jillian Karande Staff Photographers: Gian Paul Graziosi, Brinda Ramesh, Julie Chu Cheong Contributors: Cassandra Kyriazis, Andrea Begleiter
Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Alex Fisher, Katie Dumke, Isabel Zapata, Gian Paul Graziosi, Brinda Ramesh and Julie Chu Cheong. Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief, at johns@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898-6585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581. www.34st.com "I should search 'vagina' on Creative Commons?" ©2015 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.
HIGHBROW
HIGHBROW DECODES POTTRUCK Greek life is not the only tiered institution at Penn.
over heard PENN at
1st Floor: You’re here to jog and
Thirsty girl: What could possibly be more important than fucking me right now?
2nd Floor: Land of the bros and
Eerily calm girl at Pottruck on the phone: I hate her. Her face is so round and cute and small. I just want to cut out the happiness and joy and all the goodness from her face.
be seen, and don’t mind running into everyone you know.
hardos. It’s typically entirely males lifting weights plus the token girl who has bigger biceps than your dad.
3rd Floor: Normally 80% female and most of them are in sororities. (Ed. note: Not wearing your letters? Onto the next floor with you.) On one treadmill, there’s a girl training for a half–marathon. On the treadmill next to her is a girl who walks briskly for 15 minutes and calls it a day.
Girl with standards: The criteria for hooking up with me is more extensive than just having a penis.
Basketball Courts: The Asian Invasion. We’re
Guy in Frontera: Major in econ. The power of money compels you.
Smoothie Bar: You’re a novice and like to pre-
Street Writer: I saw a headline about bleached assholes and thought of you.
talking East and South.
4th Floor: If a tree falls in a forest and no one was
around to hear it, did it make a sound? Likewise, if someone does physical activity on the 4th floor and no one was there to see it, did the person break a sweat?
tend you’re athletic and “earned” that 700–calorie power smoothie.
Weight Room behind the Courts: Frequent- Rock Climbing Wall: Not for the faint of
ed mostly by frat guys in last year’s fling tanks and people who only go to socialize on the mats.
THEROUNDUP For those who are still somehow making it to classes nowadays, you’ve probably been harassed once or twice by a flyerer on Locust. To alleviate your stresses, Highbrow’s dishing out something you’ll actually want to read. Before you commit yourself to seeing five performing arts shows this weekend, we need to aca–tell–ya all things brunch and all–around bold. In case you need a little more than some aural fixation, the Round Up is here to satisfy your gossip cravings. At Owl’s brunch this past Saturday, some new kids on the block made a grand appearance. A Highbrow source tells us that a group of international freshmen boys, identifying themselves as the new Skulls, had their “official unveiling” during the darty. The selfproclaimed coming–out party consisted of the gen-
heart. This Pottruck spot is run by rock climbing vets and the Penn Outdoor Club.
tlemen ordering 20+ bottles of pricey champagne, in addition to wooing ladies to their table and picking up their tabs as well. We hate to burst your bubbly, but it’ll take a lot more than ostentatious displays of wealth to distinguish yourself in The Scene. After all, it is Owl’s brunch; be careful if you wanna defy the pecking order. All the the free–flowing booze had one girl feeling a little sleepy. In desperate need of a mid–darty catnap, a Tri Delt junior broke into the mansion during brunch, which was a big no–no for partygoers. The listless mistress navigated the off–limits estate and found a place to (tres)pass out for a half hour, before eventually rejoining the party. Forget doses. It appears dozes and mimosas ruled the day. Unfortunately, another Tri Delta didn’t have as peaceful of an afternoon. After cutting her foot at brunch, one senior girl went to the hospital, only to have to wait around for several hours to be treated. The doctors readily noticed how drunk the shwastey
Guy in Brazzers sweatshirt to sophomore girl outside Smokes: Wait do you think I'm an asshole? I thought we settled on annoying.
sister was, so they made her wait at least four hours until she sobered up, before giving her much–needed stitches. Moral of the story: Brunch responsibly, or you’ll end up in a pretty champagne–ful situation. Enough with the Greek debauchery. Let’s talk about other arbitrarily exclusive/elitist clubs. Last week, Lantern pledges were tasked with occupying a GSR for a full 24 hours while working on a puzzle, one that was a naked picture of an already–initiated member. Apparently, the hopefuls of the Wharton senior society were a bit inebriated, and their raucous behavior prompted someone to call the cops on them. Not only did the drunkards get kicked out of the GSR, but three of them got citations. Looks like the nude star of their pledge puzzle wasn’t the only person caught with his pants down. The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.
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WORD ON THE STREET
word on the STREET
I GUESS I’M READY TO GRADUATE
M
y grandparents will arrive for graduation in 36 days. My father will arrive in 37, and my mother’s plans are still up in the air. Graduation for the College is in 38 days, and Lin–Manuel Miranda will grace Commencement with his presence in 39. One month, one week and one day until I leave my undergraduate career firmly in the past. Ideally, I’d like to echo the general senior sentiment of bittersweet, premature nostalgia for days gone by, but the truth is, I think I’m about ready to be an adult now. I first realized I was ready to graduate when I was home over spring break, and did something both incredibly nerdy and bougie: I spent three nights looking up high rewards credit cards. My father is an accountant and I was born on April 15th, which the Adult World knows as “Tax Day,” so I always cared
Illustration by Gloria Yuen
4
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BRANDON SLOTKIN about personal finance more than I should. But while my friends were getting drunk off their asses in PV and PC and other initialed places, I was on the American Express website weighing the costs and benefits of different membership levels. I still haven’t decided, but I really want to start collecting miles. It’s not just that I’m ready to be a real adult, with my own salary and lifestyle independent of my parents—I think it’s time for me to not be a student for a while. Two weeks ago, the Parliamentary Debate Team hosted a tournament on Penn’s campus. I love being a part of this team, but something was off this time. I really wanted to leave early. The tournament party the night before was not as fun as it normally is (which I realize is not saying a lot, but bear with me). Doing the behind–the–scenes work of the tournament, normally a thrill (keep bearing with me), was now mundane and tiring. It was an achingly beautiful day outside and what I really wanted to do was toss a Frisbee with my housemates. I took this as a sign that it’s probably time to move on—since that activity is so tied up in my educational experience, I feel ready to leave school in the past, at least for now. I used to be stuck in a very “college” routine: gym on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, pong on Thursdays, friends on Fridays and Saturdays, meetings on Sundays and Mondays, work whenever I can fit it in, lather, rinse, repeat. Sure, Penn is a fantastic place that offers an abundance of new opportunities wherever you care to look for it. But eventually, we all fall into the same general routine, and four years of that is an incredibly long time when we’re all still so young. I’ve definitely been getting a bit more adventurous lately, but I don’t know how long that can last. In the last few months, I’ve been to London and Palm Beach and multiple downtown hipster dance parties, bar crawled and bottomless brunched more times than I care to, or can remember. I am the Mayor of Smokes’ on Swarm (which used to be Foursquare), and I (almost) never miss a Sink or Swim. Blarney Quizzo is my second home. I’m
How AmEx, The Debate Team and Kweder helped me realize it's time to move on.
100% sure my neighbors called the cops on my house a couple of weeks ago for a party (though they had the courtesy to make sure I wasn’t there first). I was at Smokes’ with a friend who said that if he could take a fifth year, he would. If I took a fifth year, I would literally die. But it has been fun, and I feel much more satisfied with this experience than I did with my time in high school. I grew up in the uncomfortably–named Plantation, Florida, a very boring suburb from which I longed to escape. At prom, my friend was phenomenally drunk, and I drove her to our hotel with the car’s top down, praying that if she needed to puke, she would have the courtesy to do it outside of the car. She did not. I was done. I needed to get the fuck out. This time, I don’t want to leave campus and never look back. I want to move forward to a better situation, not leave behind a shitty one. I have a lot of great memories of this place and I look forward to making more over my last 5.29 weeks. A couple of Tuesdays ago, Kweder had a special show with a full band. The crowd was a wonderful mix of Kweder diehards from Penn and Philly as a whole. Joe the bartender, my friends and I were all singing along to his original songs. I know Kweder (I interviewed him for this magazine), so after four hours of music, he wrote me a poem: “To Brandon— You are a friend— A great friend, Who helped me Re–believe in myself, And I will Never Forget that. Thank You, Brandon.” That moment was incredible, the perfect encapsulation of my Penn experience. But I had just spent $40 and five hours in Smokes’, and ended up late to work the next morning. Penn is great. I think it’s time to leave.
EGO
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT
Radio may be dead, but this station is not.
By this time, you should be about done listening to Pandora ads, and "Sorry" covers. Enter WXPN with the best music you will never find on your own. Read about how they do it all, and the Penn students who get to see it first hand.
WHAT THE HECK IS IT: WXPN is a radio station that was founded in 1975. It used to be a Penn owned station, run by Penn students, until it became independent because of required radio censorship laws. Bye! Penn students work there for work–study and internships, as well as Drexel, Temple and St. Joe's students. Penn still has a student–run radio station called WQHS but is exclusively controlled by Penn students and is located on campus.
WHY IS WXPN BETTER THAN THE RECENT "ACOUSTIC FEELS" PLAYLIST I FOUND ON SPOTIFY? Let me count the ways. First of all, remember when you thought you found Adele first? You didn’t. WXPN did. They’ve tapped into artists like Adele, Sam Smith, Hozier and other bomb–ass singers before their songs turned into house music remixes on SoundCloud. They have unbelievable sensors out for the up and coming artists, both local and independent. The office is full of CDs people send the station, begging to get aired. But back to Adele. WXPN was the first one to recommend her to World Café before she became the emblem of talent—that’s actually a really big deal.
WXPN
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO READ ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
Remember that time you were like “I literally have no new music." Well WXPN plays all the newest local artists as well as independent artists who are not being played on the “Top 40” but are still dope as hell. “Do I have to be mega alt to lisen to WXPN,” you may ask? No you do not, my friend. You just have to be in the market for a killer study playlist and a break from I Took A Pill In Ibiza remixes.
ELENA MODESTI
WHERE DO I GO TO LISTEN TO IT?
The radio! Just kidding, that’s social suicide. WXPN has a “listen live” button on their website as well as an app. They have setlists going all day and no advertisements besides a few words about the donors who keep the radio station funded. Tune in for “Funky Friday,” just incase your Friday isn't funky enough.
PENN STUDENTS INVOLVED: Selena Curuso (C’16) is the marketing assistant for WXPN and has been working there since her Freshman year. She is a communications major and was interested in getting involved in radio broadcasting so she applied: voila. As a marketing assistant she notes that “attracting college kids is hard because we only listen to radio in the car.” That may be true, but if everyone stopped being lazy for 25 seconds and downloaded the WXPN app, you would never suffer from an overplayed song ever again. Curuso said, “What makes WXPN special is that all of our setlists are curated by DJs, not coded. So some of the “Top 40” stations put together playlists through codes that tell songs to play a certain amount of times. All the songs on WXPN are hand picked by our DJs and put into a setlist.” Not only will you not suffer from music boredom, but you won’t hear the same song played four times within a 60 minute period. Scott Sprunger (C'16) grew up listening to WXPN, and says it's one of the reasons he wanted to go to Penn in the first place. He specifically works with World Café and helps organize the interviews with the musicians and the live performances. Scott helps prepare the scripts for the World Café shows, does the research for the artist interviews and provides hospitality for the visiting musicians. He has worked with hundreds of musicians, and frequently watches these artists go from "living out of a sprinter van to touring the country in a tour bus." He has worked with Ellie Goulding, Ingrid Michaelson, Cat Stevens and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros to name a few. Scott says that the best part about WXPN is "their allegiance with listeners and musicians" since it's "not a commercial radio station." WXPN builds a community around music, "especially really good music before the artists make it big." Listen to WXPN and you could be the one to say you knew "so and so" before they were popular! A P R I L 7 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
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EGO
EGOOF THE WEEK: RODERICK COOK
The co–founder of Penn Non–Cis has strong opinions on everything: fraternities, veganism and spirit animals. Just don't ask them about Caitlyn Jenner.
your experience writing for the DP? RC: That was really eye–opening. It was fine because it was an opinion column and I got to express myself, but over time I just realized that a lot of the backlash I was getting was because people didn’t want to hear the things I had to say. And oftentimes I feel like certain issues that I’m seen as supposed to be speaking on are okay. People are like ‘Okay, I’m learning about transgender stuff, I’m learning about LGBT stuff.’ But if I were to write something about Street: Do you identify as Palestine, if I were to write transgender? something about frats or senior RC: Yeah. I mostly just use societies, then people are kind trans. It’s just a preference of term. I use they and them pro- of like ‘You should stay in your nouns. Coming to college I was lane and just talk about gender because that’s your thing.’ like ‘I’m going to get involved in the LGBT community, Street: Why do you think because I’m a gay guy and I’m finally going to meet other gay it’s so important for people people.’ But when I came here I to be aware of using correct pronouns? was like ‘I think there’s something else.’ And it's that gender RC: First and foremost it’s element that really didn’t click. about respecting people’s choices with themselves. It’s about respecting who somebody is Street: Can you talk about Street: Tell me about what led you to co–found Penn Non– Cis. Roderick Cook: It was started with a conversation in an online LGBT Penn Facebook group. People who were questioning their gender identity wanted to meet together and talk. A lot of students that were involved have come into identifying as trans through that group. It just sort of started because of noticing a lack of explicitly trans spaces at Penn.
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rather than who you think they are. Changing one's pronouns is such a difficult thing for trans people to do, I know it was very difficult for me. But it’s also such a powerful and beautiful thing to do. It’s a really great moment of owning yourself and your identity in a way that you were told your whole life you were supposed to be. Street: What do you think is the biggest misconception that people have about being trans? RC: It’s that trans visibility is always a good thing. Because visibility doesn’t always translate to rights and justice for trans people. Oftentimes trans people being visible can make them more open to violence, can make them more prone to getting policed. Street: What do you love the least about Penn? RC: The fact that it’s such a huge money–making institution and business. Because it’s been around for so long, it has its hand in so many different things. People don’t realize how much Penn is not just an educational institution, but because it has so much money it’s a business as well. What are some of your favorite spots outside of Penn’s campus? RC: I love South Street. There’s this great restaurant called Vegan Tree. Street: Are you a vegan? RC: Yeah. I’m not a proud vegan, because I’ve been vegan for eight years. I’m not as passionate about it. I used to be a super militant animal rights activist. And then I realized that the food systems for everything we eat are so fucked up that a
lot of the vegan food I eat may not be hurting animals but it’s being produced in countries that are going bankrupt because of this massive food production. So I guess I’ve become disillusioned with the moral parts of veganism. Street: What was your first AIM screen name? RC: Rodseviltwin. I was just so amazed and impressed that I didn’t have to add any numbers, like nobody had taken it before. But then I was like probably nobody took it because it’s ridiculous and not that funny. Street: What’s your spirit animal? RC: I don’t actually like that term, because that’s a Native American indigenous term that often gets appropriated. I’m being ‘that person’ right now. I know people often use Patronus instead, from Harry Potter. Street: What’s your patronus? RC: I feel like an elephant because they’re my favorite animal and also just the idea of an elephant patronus taking up so much space and being so awkward while everybody has these deer and bunnies is very me. Street: There are two types of people at Penn… RC: Straight people and interesting people. Street: Who was your first celebrity crush? RC: Gordo from Lizzie McGuire. That was when I first found out that I was interested in guys. And he was so dorky. Street: What did we forget to ask you? RC: You forgot to ask me about my thoughts on Caitlyn Jenner. Which is a great thing, and I’m
Name: Roderick Cook Hometown: Nesquehoning, PA Major: Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies Activities: Students for Justice in Palestine, Lambda Alliance, Penn Non–Cis INTERVIEW CONDUCTED BY GENEVIEVE GLATSKY happy that you didn’t ask me that. Whenever anybody’s like ‘Oh I want to talk to you about trans stuff!’ it’s always ‘What do you think of Caitlyn Jenner?’. And I’m like ‘Oh my god, I don’t care.’
WHAT JUST CHANGED ON
TECH
INSTAGRAM AND SNAPCHAT
HANNAH NOYES
Because we were confused, too.
THE INSTAGRAM ALGORITHM UPDATE: EXPLAINED If you’ve been on Instagram lately, you’ve probably noticed at least one of the super popular celebrities on Instagram posting the following: Instagram is changing its current chronologically organized theme, instead using an algorithm to decide what’s most relevant to show you. Instagram confirmed this via their blog, clarifying that all the content should be there, just in a different order. So what does this mean
for you? If you're super concerned you can always turn on notifications for certain people. However, you don’t need to worry quite yet. The changes that you’ve been worrying about won't be anything you will notice during this school year. An Instagram spokesperson explained the changes to the NYTimes. “Despite the rumors, no feed changes are being implemented right now—we
still have weeks, or even months, of testing to go… Currently the test groups are very small. When we roll it out broadly, we will definitely let the community know.” Additionally, there have been a number of new updates by the social media platform, including allowing for multiple accounts (hooray for your finsta!) and allowing for longer video clips (your weekly Smokes' closing song video is about to go viral).
SNAPCHAT GETS LIKE, ANNOYING Snapchat is also hopping on the bandwagon for a change. The huge update, released on March 29th, includes audio and video calling, so you and your side hoe can have entire conversations via Snapchat with virtually no evidence of it—#bless. However, as a friend pointed out to me one day last week, the story function of the app has now introduced auto–advance stories. If you follow a bunch of random celebrities, or still that girl from your freshman
hall who posts 180 second stories whenever she gets drunk, this can be hella annoying. On Snapchat’s blog, they explained it as the following: “We’re also introducing Auto–Advance Stories, the fastest way to catch up with your friends. When you finish a Story, the next one begins automatically—simply swipe to skip ahead, or pull down to exit!” Auto advance stories are also adding a stress to everyone who likes to slyly
keep tabs on their ex or send a covert message that you're ignoring via snap story. It's all too easy to continue from Kylie Jenner to that girl you've been low key snap story stalking. Why they're branding this as a positive thing, we have no idea. We’re relying on the swipe–to–skip–ahead feature, as there is no way we are watching you drunkenly sing Beyoncé for the third time this week. Readers, be warned.
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TECH
HEADLINER: MEDIA APP OF THE FUTURE
The brainchild of Penn alumna Caroline Klatt C '11 aims to bring you news in an easily digestible format. ZOE ALBANO–ORITT
Penn alums are doing big things in the tech world. Caroline Klatt (C '11) has been the driving force behind an app that's still in testing—but hopefully launching soon—called Headliner. Hailing from Long Island, Caroline was the Editor–in–Chief of The WALK Magazine—helping to reinvigorate it after it went defunct years ago—and was President of the Penn Fashion Collective. She was also a member of the Sphinx senior honor society, went abroad to Beijing and majored in Communications. After graduating, she worked at McKinsey & Company in New York; now, she spends her time developing Headliner and getting it ready for public release. I downloaded and went on Headliner before speaking to Caroline, and it was unlike any other app I've used. I initially noticed that it worked somewhat like a cross between Vine and Tinder; like Vine, the main content of the app is user–generated short video clips that loop, but like Tinder, you can swipe left on videos you don't want to see and swipe right on videos that you like. When you sign up, the app asks you what types of video content you'd be interested in seeing, such as entertainment, politics or lifestyle videos. There are also trending topics on the explore page which are denoted with a hashtag. After using it myself, I talked to Caroline about her vision for the app and more. Headliner was created primarily with the intention of being a news outlet for young people who aren't as interested in traditional news formats, such as long–form journalism pieces or news that you watch on the TV (because come on, who still watches TV on a real TV anymore?). "That isn't really where I get my information from. I get information from friends and from social media and other user–generated content." Caroline explained her thinking behind the way that
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Headliner is designed as well, like a cross between social media and news. "But we felt that none of the platforms were optimized for having interesting conversations and discussions. Most of them are meant for messaging, or for posting great visuals. But when it comes to exchanging ideas and thoughts, there was no platform that facilitated putting thoughts out there and immediately engaging with a community of people about your ideas, whether they are reflections on the
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election, on fashion trends, on The Walking Dead or anything else." Videos on Headliner, however, have a maximum length of 25 seconds (fucking millennials, am I right ladies???). However, according to Caroline, "Most videos are actually 18 seconds. So the videos are nice and short but they're enough time for someone to relay a piece of information and talk and convey a point of idea, as opposed to just a loop of something that's usually humorous." Headliner is still in development, and has been coming together over the last six–to–seven months, which is super quick: "We have a great, amazing technical team, which is the most important foundation to any sort of tech startup, and so we built the app really quickly...once you find a good team of people, that's when things become easy and achievable. It's finding that team that's hard." Even though the app is still in beta, you can download it on the app store, and there's a growing community of avid users that "go on ten times a day, and the average users goes on multiple times per day. So we're seeing a lot of engagement, a lot of attention, a lot of enthusiasm. We actually
recently had Ted Cruz join the app." WHAT????? Yeah, you read that right. The Zodiac Killer Ted Cruz himself is on Headliner (so why aren't you?). This ties into the direction that users have been taking the app in: "We didn't launch with any particular topic in mind, but we've seen a lot of people talking politics. It's very political, and that's interesting to me because it speaks to this whole idea that young people who are informed and obviously interested in news and current events don't have an outlet where they can talk about these interests. There is no other great platform facilitating this kind of conversation, and so we feel like we've identified a really
important need and serve a real purpose—it's been very validating." So, long story short, if you're at all interested in news and hearing what other people have to say about news, you should really download Headliner. In the words of Caroline herself: "We really see it as the future of media."
TECH
A FRIENDLY PSA FROM STREET: SPRING FLING IS COMING. IT'S TIME TO HIT UP THAT ANNOYING FRESHMAN IN YOUR HISTORY RECITATION TO STASH HANDLES IN HIS QUAD DORM FOR YOU. DO IT ASAP BEFORE THEY START CHECKING BAGS.
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LEARNING DIFFERENTLY F E AT U R E
F E AT U R E
STUDENTS WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES ON NAVIGATING THE MAZE OF PENN BY LAUREN FEINER
eight hours is all Megan Lane (c'17) gets in a day to be productive. Sometimes more, if the Adderall goes through her system slower. Sometimes less. Studying at night is “a waste of time,” she says. Megan’s Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder keeps her from focusing the appropriate amount of time on learning a new concept or doing homework. Oftentimes, the headaches and fatigue that come with withdrawal from her medication is enough to halt productivity, anyway. “People don’t realize how hard it is to get everything done that you need to get done in a day in eight hours,” she says. “It’s hard to have to respond to emails, find subletters, study, get food, do everything you have to do in one day in only eight hours.” While playing a game of catch–up to meet Penn’s standards, students with learning and developmental disabilities face stigma, skepticism and obstacles in acquiring appropriate accommodations. Students with disabilities are perhaps the hardest workers at Penn, putting in twice the effort just to reach the baseline.
••• Every Leap Day, Daniella Cass (C’19) receives a card from her parents. It marks the anniversary of the day Daniella began to speak again
after stopping as a baby. 16 years ago, Daniella was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Doctors told her parents she may never be able to speak again. Even if she did, they listed all the things she wouldn’t be able to do: socialize, attend a regular school, live on her own, make friends. Daniella surpassed these limits. “Even when people say like, ‘I never would have guessed,’ I honestly am never sure whether to take that as a compliment or not,” Daniella says. She recalls a time in class last semester where the students were reading a passage where a character was arrogantly listing their accomplishments. “And somebody sitting behind me was just like, ‘That sounds like it was written by an autistic person,’" Daniella remembers. “I turned around and I gave him what I thought was like a death stare.” Daniella says a major misconception about autism is “that there’s some sort of way autistic people have to be. Because people forget that it’s a spectrum.” The same is true of other disabilities. Olivia* (E’18), who was diagnosed with both ADHD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, says her behavior does not align with many of the stereotypes of either disorder. She’s
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neither meticulously tidy nor constantly energetic. “It looks different in different people,” she says. “The things you can’t see—just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there.”
••• While Olivia never quite fit the bouncing–off–the–walls archetype of a person with ADHD, her brother, “is like the ADHD poster child,” she says. So her parents didn’t really buy the idea that their well–mannered, high–achieving daughter could also have the disorder. But in 10th grade, Olivia hit a wall. “I would take notes and stuff and then I would go to study and I would remember none of the things that I had seen,” she says. “It was as if I had never seen any of the stuff before and now I was looking at an insurmountable wall of text that now somehow I needed to force into my brain.” It wasn’t until she started seeing a doctor for her potential OCD that she was recommended for testing for ADHD. Olivia saw her grades shoot up from the point of her diagnosis but also noticed the skepticism she received from peers, who knew she now
received extended time on exams. At Penn, Olivia chooses not to use her extended time accommodation. A computer science major, Olivia finds she can get by without it in classes that don’t require pure memory recall. But the process of setting up elongated exam times through Student Disabilities Services is also a deterrent. “I feel like I have so many things to deal with in my life and I don’t want to make that another thing,” Olivia says. SDS encourages students to schedule their exams with the
necessary information in these alternate settings. A student in Megan’s physics class told her, just before the final, that the teacher announced during the first exam that students could use calculators. That information never made it back to Megan. Receiving accommodations in the classroom is not as simple as getting someone to sign off on a sheet of paper. It can often involve expensive testing and pushback from professors. The number of students reporting disabilities to SDS has increased significantly over the past five Students with disabilities years. In 2011, are perhaps the hardest three workers at Penn, putting students in twice the effort just to identified as on the reach the baseline. Autism Spectrum, 205 identified with ADHD Weingarten Learning Center and 263 identified with a at the very beginning of the learning disability. In 2015, semester. But even when tests nine reported autism, 349 are scheduled in advance, last ADHD and 308 a learning minute changes can cause additional stress. For students disability. Prior to secondary educawith disabilities, taking and tion, Jesselson Director of scheduling exams requires SDS Susan Shapiro explains, much more forethought than curricula can be altered to just cramming the night meet students’ needs—acbefore. commodations are treated Megan, who takes advanas an entitlement under tage of her accommodation the law from kindergarten of 1.5 times the length of her exams, says she’s showed up to through 12th grade. At Penn, however, the aim is mainly exam rooms only to find that to protect students from her test has moved location. discrimination, limiting SDS’ She’s learned to show up at power in the classroom. least 30 minutes before the Students who have scheduled time. received accommodations Still, students may lack
"
throughout their schooling are sometimes greeted with frustration upon learning they may not extend to college. Chloe Nurik (C’17) experienced this stress her first semester while waiting for approval for a foreign language substitution. Chloe’s ADHD and a verbal and nonverbal learning disability prevents her from being able to properly process foreign languages. She now takes four classes in place of her language requirement—none of which can count toward a major. “We really tell the students go out and talk to the faculty yourself and my experience has been usually that’s kind of the best approach,” Learning Disabilities Consultant at SDS Pam Balkovec says. “And really kind of empower that student to be an advocate for themselves.” But while SDS encourages self–advocacy, students say not all professors are sympathetic. Megan notes that while there is the occasional professor who will go out of their way to provide her with good testing conditions, about a quarter of them will give her a hard time. When this happens, she’s frustrated by what she sees as SDS’ unwillingness to intervene, and worries that the professor’s frustration could be reflected in her grades. Megan’s disability prevents her from being an anonymous student in a lecture and forces her to ask more of her professors. Anthony Rostain, a professor of psychiatry and the cochair of Penn’s Mental Health
Task Force, recognizes the scrutiny disabled students face. “The two sources of stigma at the university are either your peers or your professors who don’t buy in,” Rostain says. “They think you’re making an excuse. Really? You really need extended time? Sure. So there’s a lot of work to be done.” But even when professors think they are being accommodating, they still may not meet student’s needs. Megan recalls a teacher who asked that all students who needed accommodations come up to the front of the room after class to talk to him. “I was like oh my God, you definitely can’t do that. You definitely can’t point us all out,” she says. “Because I knew of like five other people in that class [with disabilities] and no one stood up. Like we would rather get a bad grade I guess than have people be like oh my gosh, you get accommodations? Do you need Adderall? Can I buy Adderall from you?”
••• Ask Olivia if you can buy some of her Adderall, but don’t expect a warm response. “That’s absurd,” she says. “Ev-
ery pill I gave someone else would be a day that I couldn’t function. Olivia, along with Chloe and Megan, believe the prevalence of stimulants like Adderall for studying and recreational use dilute its necessity for those who actually rely on it for medical reasons. “The interesting thing about a drug like that is that it impacts everyone as opposed to other medication that only works if you have the disease. But Adderall works on everyone,” Chloe says. “So when so many people take it that don’t need it, then other people think that no one needs it and it’s just like this extra drug.” But Adderall isn’t a total fix, let alone an advantage, for those with ADHD. “People think similarly if you take Adderall now that’s all. Now you’re fine, and now you’re completely with everyone else,” Olivia says. She takes issue with the idea that her disability could be curable, especially since it took her so long to find the proper balance of medications. She
also thinks it’s an unfair evaluation of a perceived advantage. “People develop study habits their entire lives,” Olivia says. “They have their entire lives to figure out how to learn things. And I went my entire life not understanding why I couldn’t do what everyone else did. And now [I] am in this difficult academic environment having half the life experience that people do with work ethic and study habits.” Megan described the negative side effects she experiences every day from the drug. While the nausea and rapid heart rate she experienced when first starting her regimen has gone away, headaches, hunger and a skewed sleeping schedule are constants in her life because of Adderall.
••• Students with disabilities say their conditions have expanded their horizons in some
aspects, rather than limiting them. “It’s just made me who I am basically,” Daniella says. “It’s allowed me to access more of my brain. It’s given me this interesting outlook on life.” David Mandell, director of Penn’s Center for Mental Health Policy and Services Research, says it’s important to put the experience of students with disabilities at Penn into perspective. “One of the things about being at a place like Penn, is that when we’re talking about learning disabilities or developmental disorders, what you see is so far to one end of the spectrum,” he says. “Regardless of what impairments you bring to the table, regardless of what barriers people threw in your way, you overcame them and did really really well.” Lauren Feiner is a junior in the college studying Communications, Political Science and creative writing. She is the Editor-in-Chief of The Daily Pennsylvanian.
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VICE & VIRTUE
POINT / COUNTER
POINT: HIGH SEX IS BEST
Weed calms those awkward pre–sex jitters and makes 69ing not suck, apparently. THE GIRL (C '19) If there’s one thing the vast majority of college students can agree upon, it’s that sex rocks. Yeah, you might have a few awkward/random/mortifying sexual encounters, but on the whole, sex is… orgasmic. And if you don’t think so, you’re doing it wrong. But there’s something that could definitely help your cause: weed. As a low–key stoner, I tend to get high a lot. And as a monogamous person, I tend to have a lot of sex with the same person. Combine those two things together? Woah. Though not everyone is willing to admit it, sex makes us nervous sometimes. And in or out of bed, nerves have a nasty tendency to fuck shit up. That's where weed
comes in. That mellow, happy haze that comes along with a good high is a great way to get rid of that unnecessary, mood– ruining angst. Not to mention the fact that weed can strengthen and heighten physical sensations. Close your eyes, relax. Maybe go somewhere you can be alone and imagine. You’ve just smoked a *insert marijuana apparatus of choice here* and you’re feelin’ yourself. Across the room is that hot guy/gal that you’ve been eyeing in your Econ 001 lecture. Armed with hash– inspired confidence and sexy, half mast–if not a bit pink–eyes, you finally make your move. Flash forward and you’re still feelin’ yourself. Not because
you’re still high, but because you just had the best sex of your life. Why? He or she was hot and you were high. It’s a recipe for… well, you know. And honestly, the technicalities, and even the end result, are irrelevant. High sex is the Illustration by Nadia Kim perfect excuse to partake in two but all of your senses are heightof life’s most beautiful things. Together. At the same time. So, ened. Plus, you can use your high brain to think of fun ideas. go ahead, treat yoself. With drunk sex I feel loose and confident but my body is THE GUY (C '17) numbed—and by that I mean... I haven’t smoked weed in a little over a month now—sum- whiskey dick. But high sex is different and, in my opinion, mer internships got me by the better than either drunk sex or balls—and I have to say one of the things I miss most is having sober sex. With high sex I feel creative, adventurous, and insex while high. What’s not to love about high sex? Think of it stead of being numb, my body is much more sensitive just about this way: It’s basically sober sex everywhere. If your partner is high too, that’s even better—it can make the whole experience much more intimate. Being high can take away a nervous edge that can come with
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the revealing nature of sex. I will admit that making out can get complicated with dry mouth, but just skip that shit and let the hands roam. As things start to heat up it’s time to get weird. It’s really fun to be creative in bed when you’re high—beware of giggle fits, though. Being high in bed allows you to try something new. Personally, I highly recommend a stoned 69; it can be even better than high sex to be totally honest. Whatever you think of, just go with your and your partner’s wandering minds and it can be really fun, explorative and sexy. Not to mention it’ll feel amazing.
VICE & VIRTUE
P O I N T: H I G H S E X
COUNTERPOINT: WHY WEED AND SEX DON'T MIX
'Cause any situation that forces you to chose between a doughnut and an orgasm is simply unacceptable. same time. We locked eyes and I wanted to die. Despite my attempts to stay focused, every so often I would open my eyes to find myself in a completely different position. And when I say different position, I mean I was suddenly on top and our heads were facing the foot of the bed. All of this happened without my knowledge. And I don’t like when things happen without my knowledge. I also don’t like when I have to choose between food and sex, and high sex is that decision in a nutshell. All you’re thinking about is doughnuts, and all the situation allows you to think about is faking an orgasm. This is an impossible multitask. I’m all for killing two birds with one stone while high, but those birds need to be eating Zesto's pizza and watching The Office. At the end of the day, I love sex and I don’t mind getting high, but both activities together are a recipe for disaster. Not only are you way too hyper aware of yourself—something NOBODY wants during sex— but you are also not experiencing each activity the way it was meant to be experienced. Smoking and sex have a lot of overlap. Both can involve being in a horizontal position with whipped cream all over your body. Both can involve boys. And both can involve taking your pants off in an unhealthily excited manner. However, preserve the beauty behind each activity and don’t mix them. I promise you should fear this mixture more than you probably fear sober sex.
THE GIRL (C '18) I might not be an avid smoker, but I do know that when I get high, all I want to do is eat, sleep, watch Animal Planet or—if I’m feeling ambitious—ramble about some high thought that does not actually make sense. So when my freshman year hook up invited me over to “hang” and pulled out a bong within the first ten minutes, I knew I was screwed. Cue me asking how the fuck a bong works for the tenth time. We smoked, turned on the TV and even as I curled up as little spoon and my eyelids fell to half–mast, I had a horrible, horrible feeling this was only the beginning of the night. The next hour was a blur and a half. And when I say "a blur and a half," I mean a god– forsaken nightmare. We hadn’t had sex yet, this gentleman and me. And supposedly—don't ask me how or why—I initiated it that night. I felt like I was moving my lips like a fish, up and down to a creepy rhythm I was making up in my head. To make matters worse, both of our mouths were as dry as cotton balls. Occasionally, I had to open my eyes to reacquaint myself with my surroundings (read: Try to remind myself where the fuck I was), and I distinctly remember him THE GUY (C '16) doing the same, at the exact The first time I ever got
high was my senior year of high school. I ate an edible (rookie mistake!) and was absolutely fried. The worse mistake though, was that I ate it right before trying to have sex. It took around five minutes to get the condom on because I was too busy staring into my own bloodshot eyes, butt–naked in the bathroom mirror, holding my dick and laughing. My then–girlfriend, who wasn’t high at all, didn’t think it was quite as funny. When we finally started fucking, I was nowhere near my A–game and fell asleep after she got on top. I tried to walk her home and somehow ended up passed out in the snow, so she had to take me back home. Bad reviews all around. It took me a while to get out of the doghouse after that one. Don’t get me wrong—I love both of these things dearly. I just think mixing the two brings out the worst in each. Weed is great for a whole laundry list of activities like listening to music, talking shit with friends, inspiring 2 a.m. Wishbone runs and generally making mundane activities fun as hell, but to me it just gets in the way during sex. It’s not that high sex is bad sex (everything feels good when you’re stoned) but it doesn’t make things better for me. Weed, to me, is more for thinking than doing. I’m not as spontaneous when I’m high and I spend a lot of time thinking about small details, which clearly isn’t a bomb strategy for sex. Being in your own head too much can make things awkward, and nobody wants that. Even when I’m just a little bit high—and not the Cheech &
Chong zombie I was in the first story—I feel like my performance takes a hit. Even if it’s not true and it’s all in my head, worrying so much makes the experience less fun. It feels like a job, which it never should, especially when you’re a college kid and not an unhappily married forty–something. If you need to spice things up, there are better options. Alcohol can sometimes make you stupid or give you (the opposite of) a hard time, but at least it gets you loose and
uninhibited, which can be fun in the bedroom. I’m more likely to try something new when drunk—or sober—than when high. I’d rather save the joint for the post–fuck cuddle if we’re being real here. At the end of the day, you do you. But remember you’re also doing someone else, and if your highs are anything like mine, you’re not setting your partner—or yourself—up for the best time.
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S•PACK: FOR A CLEAN GETAWAY VICE & VIRTUE
It's saved me on more occasions than I'd like to admit, so it's time I shared my secret weapon: the S•PACK, your on–the–go arsenal of basic cleanup supplies (mini toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant wipe, two facial cleansing wipes and a hair tie) that will have you looking fresh even on your Friday morning walk of shame. I sat down to talk to Juliette Reiss (C'16), one half of the twin powerhouses behind the company, about starting a business even if you're not in Wharton (Ed. Note: she's a Classical Studies major).
Street: Let's start with the basics. For our readers that don't know, what exactly is a S•PACK? Juliette Reiss: So basically a S•PACK is a mini cleanup pack for women on the go. The idea came about my freshman year, when my twin sister and I realized that our friends were constantly on the go. The S•PACK is tiny enough to fit in your smallest evening bag, and it's totally disposable, so we think that our product is not only pragmatic but it's also sexy and
edgy and aimed at empowering women to have good hygiene wherever they might be. Street: What does S•PACK actually stand for? JR: S•PACK was initially created under the idea of a sleepover pack, and then once we started formulating our marketing plan we decided that the "S" really stands for smart, sexy, shameless. My sister and I built our company on the fact that cleanliness is a part of being beautiful, so we wanted to
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redefine the idea of toiletries so that women actually have them when they need them. We're really trying to promote the idea that S•PACK is for every woman. Street: What has the journey been like? JR: We really started taking action on the idea when my sister entered it into a competition at the University of Michigan called M–Tank in 2014. It's like their form of Shark Tank, and she presented it in front of this 250–person audience. The idea won the competition, and the prize for that was a presentation to Google. At the time we had just created a prototype, which we took to Google and presented the idea to a bunch of Google employees. They gave us their feedback and were actually a great resource, and it pushed us to go along with the product and actually create it. So we launched the product in 2015, the spring of our junior year. Street: What do you think has been your biggest challenge in getting S•PACK off the ground? JR: One of the challenges we've faced, which I think a lot of young brands have faced, is to create a consumer base that really knows and loves your product. So I think our biggest challenge and something we’ve been working on this whole time is really getting our name out there. Once people use this product they generally have good reviews, so we’re really focused on reaching a larger consumer base. Street: Who do you envision as
your typical S•PACK customer? JR: Initially we were marketing a lot to college students; we have reps at different universities across the country to promote our product. We continue to sell it on Amazon and Amazon Prime, but we just started offering S•PACKs through Ricky’s NYC which is our first major retailer, and that’s great for our target audience because there are so many women that are constantly on the go in New York City who this product would be great for. They'll be available in all Ricky's locations, which is really exciting. Street: So exciting. How has Penn influenced S•PACK? JR: One group at Penn that has been particularly supportive is the girls in my sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta. It's been great to see how excited they've been about the product and supportive of everything we've been
accomplished. In terms of Penn as an institution, I think the school does value entrepreneurship. One great thing I've been exposed to at Penn is a wide variety of women speaker events that has been really influential as a woman entrepreneur. Street: What advice do you have for any Penn students who are looking to explore their entrepreneurial side? JR: I think the best advice is to actually act on your idea. A lot of people have great ideas and for some reason or another don’t act on them. I think actually taking action has allowed me to meet a lot of interesting people and have a lot of interesting experiences. Making that transition from the idea of the product or idea of the app and taking that step to actually making it a reality is definitely the most important step. CHLOE SHAKIN
FILM & TV
SPOTLIGHT AND THE SHADOW OF SEX ABUSE
his movie have. He helped to host a survivor screening for over 1,500 sexual assault survivors in LA, and hopes that the additional Oscar buzz will increase public viewership and knowledge of these issues. “The real message of the movie is that we all need to look, we all need to listen, we all need to be open to these folks when they come forward as opposed to looking away.”
NICK JOYNER
CH
family, religion means a lot." This context is important in echoing the sentiments of Dr. Berkowitz and Hamilton, as to why a more nuanced understanding of childhood sexual abuse is necessary for the public. To cap off the forum before the short Q&A, Josh Singer, writer and producer of Spotlight, spoke about his enthusiasm about the positive social impact he has seen
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tion about childhood trauma just because they didn’t bring it up in the correct window of time after it happened. She even called protecting children from sexual abuse “the human rights issue of our generation.” To her, Spotlight “is the kind of massive public education we needed, and it came at just the right time for the victims.” After the academic presentations, the event once again shifted shape as the mic was handed over to Neal Huff, who played Phil Saviano, one of the survivors from the Boston diocese who did much of the leg work in helping lead the Globe journalists to other survivors who came forward. Huff spoke to his childhood experience as an adolescent in identifying potential predators in school, but how one of his best friends didn’t have the same luck in avoiding abuse. Huff's character, while afflicted with AIDS, organized SNAP (Survivor's Network of Those Abused by Priests) to bring together victims of pedophilia in a support group setting. Huff, quoting Saviano, helped to shed some light on why it was so difficult for many to speak out: "When you're a poor kid from a poor
N G E ★B E S T F I R S T
cal psychiatrist, he discussed how traumatic sexualization, betrayal, powerlessness and stigma all interplay in clergy sex scandals to damage and complicate a child’s emotional and psychological development. Because disclosure is difficult and complicated, victims oftentimes do not speak up about what they see as not only painful, but also shameful and embarrassing. Relating his expertise in childhood trauma back to the movie, he discusses the importance of media survivor stories in encouraging victims of abuse to come forward and share their experiences. He postulates that this snowball effect has only led to more disclosures since the release of Spotlight last year: “I don’t think there’s any doubt: Child maltreatment is our number one public health issue and we need to do more about it, and Spotlight is just the beginning.” As the conversation shifted from psychology to law, Marci Hamilton, an expert in church law at Yeshiva University, came forward to speak about the importance of statutes of limitations in prosecuting child predators. “The real reason there was no justice was the statue of limitations,” she opens, referring to laws that put undue limitation on the length of time after a crime that legal action can be brought forward. Presenting on the statutes of limitations that exists in various degrees of restrictiveness across the United States, Hamilton rallied for the revival of old statues of limitations, which wouldn’t prevent adults from pursuing legal ac-
TL OU
“Can you imagine being a child in the Catholic church and having a priest pay attention to you?,” commented Dr. Steven J. Berkowitz, halfway through his talk about sex abuse and childhood trauma at the 2016 Levin Family Dean’s Forum. A yearly celebration of liberal arts in the College of Arts and Sciences, the Forum this past Wednesday discussed “How Hollywood is Spotlighting Social Change,” and brought together a panel of social scientists and a writer and actor who worked on this year’s Best Picture–winning Spotlight. After a brief introduction by Steven J. Fluharty, the Dean of SAS, Dr. Berkowitz began his presentation on the psychological effects of childhood abuse. “This happens in every institution that works with children in this country,” he explained to a somber crowd of adult visitors and Penn students. He began by discussing the story that the Boston Globe broke about the Catholic Church’s cover–up of countless sex abuse scandals in the Boston diocese, as dramatically portrayed in Spotlight. By moving priests into different churches or placing them on undisclosed leaves, the Church was able to reach settlements with several of the victim’s families and control the spiraling damage of the issue. “Over 80 percent were boys and over 80 percent were in their adolescence,” Dr. Berkowitz noted, explaining the difficulty with which survivors had coming forward and talking to reporters about their horrific pasts. As a clini-
An annual CAS panel shed some light on how movies illuminate social issues.
Photo by Rob Kopf
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FILM & TV
YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND:
PENN VIDEO NETWORK Penn's campus resource for everything television. Sunday evening, homework (mostly) done, you leave Van Pelt and head home with the promise of Postmated Chinese food and a good old binge session in mind. As you open your computer to log into your ex–boyfriend’s Netflix account, you realize he (gasp!) sneakily changed the password. Unsure of what to do, panic settles in as it dawns on you that you now may not actually have an excuse to avoid studying for your geology midterm. But have no fear—Penn Video Network comes to the rescue. For a generation of students as obsessed with Netflix as ours is, it’s surprising how few Penn students know about Penn Video Network (PVN), Penn’s own television service. PVN is an all–purpose university resource that aims to help Penn students with all television–related
needs, including those that go beyond online streaming. Though the amenity may not be well–known on campus, it’s certainly worth using to your advantage. PVN’s main function is to provide students with access to over seventy digital channels for free across campus. The channels range from CNN and Fox News, to TBS and Comedy Central, to MTV and Bravo, meaning something truly exists for Penn students of all interests. As if that weren’t enough, the network is available in over 80 buildings on campus, including all College Houses and Fraternity and Sorority houses—PVN’s extensive list of channels is as broad as the amount of students it reaches. Before you go straight to the channels you know and love, check out the channels unique to PVN. The network
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programs a 24–hour movie channel that runs movies of all genres for when your inner insomniac gets the best of you. In true Penn fashion, the channel even plays movies that support your coursework by picking films that relate to academic classes. Penn professors can contact PVN to get certain relevant films on the network. There’s also a special events channel for Penn–specific programming. Perhaps PVN’s best asset is Resident Select, a platform that allows students to stream the PVN Movie Channel titles of the month to their computers free of charge. The only restriction is that students be connected to AirPennNet. April’s titles include a bevy of popular films. A comedy fan? Go for Pineapple Express. Lover of classics? Check out Apollo 13. Looking for inspiration? Steve Jobs is calling your name. PVN’s responsibilities extend further than just bringing free channels to your computer and TV. As much as PVN may hurt your academic life because of hours spent on the couch, it helps your extracurricular life because of services it provides. With the Video Bulletin Board, students are able to advertise events, programs and announcements for their clubs and groups. Professors even utilize the channel for broadcasting their own classes and lectures. Moral of the story: Penn Video Network is your new best friend. Just don’t tell Netflix.
EMILY SCHWARTZ
NEW NETFLIX ORIGINALS
You’ve already binged and finished the latest season of House of Cards, and are trying to figure out what to watch next. Skip your Friday recitation and check out some of these new Netflix originals.
THE CHARACTERS Eight comedians. Eight episodes. Netflix’s new series gives eight up–and– coming comedians the chance to write their own 30–minute episodes. No rules. No limits. They can do whatever they want. The Characters will feature Tim Robinson (Saturday Night Live), Paul W. Downs (Broad City) and Natasha Rothwell (SNL writer), among five others. Since Mask and Wig’s Spring Show, Fight Club, is closing this weekend, you’ll now have more sketches to keep you entertained for the last few weeks of the semester.
CHELSEA DOES This four–part documentary stars comedian Chelsea Handler, who has the balls to address questions on marriage, racism, Silicon Valley and drugs. She’s not afraid to touch on the more controversial aspects of them all. For those of you who are in Gender and Society, you should be interested that Chelsea is an avid proponent of feminism and even went to the extremes of posting her own topless photo on Instagram after Kim Kardashian’s was taken down. She is likely to address feminism in multiple ways, so pick one and find a way to bring it up in recitation.
FLAKED Starring and written by Will Arnett, Flaked tells the story of Chip, a recovering alcoholic who is set to turn his life around. He ends up in Venice, California, makes three–legged stools, is a self–help guru but still can’t seem to help himself. Many know him from his comedic work in Arrested Development and BoJack Horseman, and this dramedy captures a more serious tone of his work. “You are you, wherever you are. You should be excited to find that out.” Part of the college experience is growing up and figuring out your identity, who you really are. If you’re still stuck (as most of us still are), watch this show and use Chip’s words as a source of inspiration for yourself too.
HALLIE BROOKMAN
ARTS
GROWN–UP BOOKS FOR YOUR INNER CHILD
If you liked: The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares Read: A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
Just as you got to follow around Bridget, Lena, Tibby and Carmen on their various adventurous and saw how their friendship grew, A Little Life Revisiting your beloved childhood centers on the changing relareads to find some new favorites tionships between four college No matter how cool you re–read all of Homer time and roommates as they face fame, think you are, you’re at Penn; time again. But it’s all to finish addiction and personal turmoil chances are you were probably that paper or cram for a final. all while still attempting to stay kind of a nerd when you were When was the last time you together. Granted, A Little Life fell in love with a book? When is a much heavier book than younger. You lived for every Eragon book, you were front you were last compelled to stay The Sisterhood of the Traveling in line at each Harry Potter up late into the night because Pants series (in all senses, it’s over 700 pages and is, at times, you just had to know how it midnight premiere and you killed it at your local library's ended? Was it last month? Last incredibly disturbing) but its prose leaves you feeling a little summer reading program. Hey, year? When you were a kid? it’s okay. I did, too. But as I’ve Here are the books that made more empathetic, a little older and a little more understandgotten older, I’ve noticed that you feel some type of way ing about the beauty within fewer and fewer of my peers re- when you were younger and the families we carve out for ally read for pleasure anymore. the ones you should be readourselves. Sure, as college students we ing now if you want to find that sweet, sweet magic again. still read a lot. I have friends that have binged Atlas Shrugged I’m an English major, folks. I or have begrudgingly read and promise reading can be fun.
If you liked: Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien Read: A Constellation of Vital Phenomena by Anthony Marra As you may or may not know, in Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, a farm mouse works together with lab rats to save her home and her family. The stakes are raised in A Constellation of Vital Phenomena (a book with an equally long name as its childhood counterpart) set during the Chechen wars as Akmed, a man from a rural village travels to find the local doctor for his neighbor's daughter who he finds after her house is burned down and her father is kidnapped. It’s a stunning portrait of life and relationships against the destructive backdrop of wartime.
If you liked: The Alex Rider Series by Anthony Horowitz Read: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson Alex Rider was the cool kid that you wanted to be. I mean he’s a teenage spy who saves the world and kisses cute girls, you still probably want to be him. But one of the main pulls for Anthony Horowitz’s young adult series was the fast paced action, suspense, and thriller elements of the books.The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo may seem like an obvious choice for a thriller to read, but the Swedish series deserves the hype. The first book takes about a hundred pages to really get going, but once the action and mystery start, Larsson weaves a story like no other.
JILLIAN KARANDE
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34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011 34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011 34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011
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• 215.387.8533 • •215.387.8533 PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com 215.387.8533 • University • •University 4006 4006 4006 Chestnut Chestnut Chestnut Street Street Street University City City City
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LOWBROW
DEAR FRESHMAN SELF: 1. YOUR ROOMMATES WILL STEAL YOUR BANANAS You cannot trust that goddamn transfer student that Residential Services assigned to live with you in your high–rise quad sophomore year when your fourth roommate decided to "live in her sorority house" for the "full sisterhood experience." Fuck you, Rachel. I don't have any bananas because of you. 2. THE BEST TIME TO DO CARTWHEELS ON CAMPUS Is 5 a.m. in a high–rise rooftop lounge. There is nothing like doing a cartwheel while the sun rises in the company of a sad pre–med and a couple who came up there to have sex
Listen up, Baby Quakes, this information is almost as important as the best friends you make during Penn Preview Days.
makes you smarter, duh) at 11 a.m. on a Saturday. Oh, and tickets to the feast cost as much as eight Chipotle burritos, so weigh your options, Baby 3. FLYERS ARE A PATH Quakes. TO SAINTHOOD 5. THE BEST COFFEE Taking a certain number of ON CAMPUS flyers from sobbing students Is at a secret spot in the spooky, handing them out on Locust Walk actually qualifies you for rarely visited basement of Van Pelt. It’s called “Mark’s Café,” sainthood in the Amy Gutnamed after Mark Harmon, the mann Church of Prosperity star of NCIS, because Mr. Van and Business Consciousness. Which is also a real church here Pelt really likes NCIS. on campus, right behind the 6. BEST WAY TO GET LGBT Center. ON THE IVY LEAGUE SNAP STORY 4. WHAT OWLS Literally murder someone on BRUNCH ACTUALLY IS camera because they messed up A feast on a boat where Penn the curve in Bio 121, then look students all rabidly vie to eat owl carcasses (eating owl carcass directly into the camera and say
first stop in the “White Marsh Shopping Center” just outside Baltimore. That shopping center has the coolest string of restaurants not in Philadelphia! A must–try for all Penn students.
because they thought it would be empty but instead there you are doing cartwheels. A quintessential Penn experience.
THE 12 STEP GUIDE
“I’d Kill For a 4.0.” So fucking Ivy League. 7. THE COOLEST RESTAURANTS ARE ALL ALONG BALTIMORE! Just hop a Megabus to Washington D.C., but get off at the
8. WHAT “THE SCENE” MEANS “The Scene” is just a reference to that scene in The Sixth Sense when Haley Joel Osment admits to Bruce Willis that he can “see dead people.” So whenever anyone mentions “the scene” or “being sceney,” just wink and shout “I SEE DEAD PEOPLE.” This will get you invited to many cool parties.
TO GETTING INTO THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA
If you attend Penn, this won’t be the first time you’ll need to complete 12 steps. STEP 1: About a year before you’re conceived get yourself on the waitlist for a private, New York City preschool. That professional network isn’t going to build itself! STEP 2: Say your first word… "internship." STEP 3: Start collecting leadership positions. Climb your way to the top of the corporate playground ladder. STEP 4: Have the dopest bar/bat mitzvah in Armonk. STEP 5: Tap into your inner Joffrey Lannister (everyone has one, right?) and execute your friend’s dog. This kind of cold blooded ruthlessness will be essential while going through the college process. STEP 6: Against all odds, be the first Jewish squash player at your local country club. Write a book about over-
coming adversity. STEP 7: Become a high functioning sociopath with an addiction to one (preferably more) illicit substances. STEP 8: Realize your life as a white one–percenter doesn’t inspire a lot of personal statement ideas. Travel to a ~developing country~ and take a picture with nonwhite 99– percent children. Change your profile picture and write about this life changing experience.
STEP 9: Invent Facebook. If that’s already been done start a drug ring at your Westchester public school. Penn searches for students with entrepreneurial spirits. STEP 10: Take all the APs. All of them. Write a new AP and take that one too. They’re completely useless but how else will you prove your worth? STEP 11: Sabotage everyone else’s applications by hacking into the Common App website and changing their “Why Penn” essays to the Communist Manifesto. STEP 12: Sleep with your interviewer. Congratulations! If you’ve completed all 12 steps you’ve been accepted to the University of Pennsylvania’s Class of 2021, our most selective yet.
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LOWBROW
DISPATCH: QUAKER DAYS It's all hap–PENN–ing.
6:35 a.m.: I wake up to an alarm labeled, “The first day of the rest of my life.” My spirits are high, can’t lose. 6:37 a.m.: I realize I don’t have to meet my host for another three hours. I wait patiently, staring at the clock and checking to see if college Yik Yak is truly as great as they say. 7:13 a.m: I post, “shoutout to all my fellow baby Quakers out there!!!” I get 17 up–votes in two minutes. This really is the place for me.
12:18 p.m.: My group is okay, I guess. They’re all super accomplished––especially Cassandra. She seems to take pride in asking everyone their standardized test scores––she just missed getting a 36 on her ACT. It’s okay Cassandra, math is hard. 12:24 p.m.: I start talking to this girl named Katie. She’s really cool and did journalism in high school. I tell her I was EIC for my school’s publication. We hit it off right away, and I put her in my contacts as “Katie (Penn).” Maybe she could be my roommate!
10 a.m.: I meet my host by Houston Market. Oh my god. Insomnia. College is soooo cool. 1:00 p.m.: I go on a tour led by a sophomore named 10:03 a.m.: I learn my host Derek. He’s very enthusiastic, and his sexuality is very amis on the volleyball team. She’s so friendly and awesome. I hope biguous. everyone here is half as great as 1:06 p.m.: We pass Pother. truck. I decide I’m going to 11:00 a.m.: My host drops come here five days a week no matter what. Freshman 15 can’t me off at Irvine Auditorium touch me. Plus, it’s not really for my first event of the day, a that far from the Quad. speech from Dean Furda. 11:07 a.m.: After talking about how cohesive and talented we are as a class, Dean Furda tells us to talk to the person to our right. His name is Douglas. He tells me he’s the only kid admitted from Wyoming, and he’s interested in studying entomology––basically, he’s really into slugs. Okay, so we have people with diverse interests. That’s good, right? 12:00 p.m.: For lunch, my group and I go to Commons. I bet I’ll come here every day with all my friends.
2:15 p.m.: We go to Annenberg to hear Amy Gutmann speak. I check my Yak again. I got 43 more up–votes. I’m officially Yak famous, but no one knows it.
ask her if she and her host want to get dinner with me and my host. She responds with a yes and six exclamation points. We’re basically best friends. 6:12 p.m.: We’re going to a place called Honeygrow for dinner. My host says it’s literally the best thing on the planet. 6:30 p.m.: We walk in and see Katie and her host already there. I get a salad with noodles in it. This is a dream come true. Katie just gets a salad containing only sesame seeds and carrots. Maybe she has a sensitive stomach? 6:37 p.m.: I ask Katie about her salad. Bad move. Katie goes on a ten minute rant about how lettuce farmers abuse their crops before they have a chance to mature and how they are destroying America’s farmland. She says she’s going to picket on behalf of all the fallen heads of lettuce over the summer.
7:02 p.m.: I rush out of there with my host and tell Katie I’ll see her later––though I hope I never do. She says she’ll text me before she goes out tonight, and I contemplate chang2:18 p.m.: Amy has already ing my phone number. I guess I’ll be going with a random called us the future leaders of roommate. tomorrow eight times, told us Penn will maximize our oppor9:00 p.m.: My host says tunities in four different ways and used approximately twelve she’s taking me to a party. Finally, something I can get down puns with the name Penn in with. We each take two shots them. Apparently, I am a Penand walk out the door. I guess novator. the alcohol safety speech had 3:37 p.m.: I text Katie and little effect on me.
9:13 p.m.: We’re at some place my host referred to as a backlot. She starts making out with a blond–haired guy upon entering the party. 9:44 p.m.: I’ve had two cups of jungle juice. It’s pretty strong, but it also tastes like Kool–Aid, so I’ll probably have three more glasses by the time I leave. I’m drinking out of a solo cup. I feel so college. 10:33 p.m.: I go to the mixer. It’s god awful (sorry Joel), I text my host to get me out of here. The exact message was, “heyyy coubd u cime nd pix m up??>?yyew7f???” But I think she understood. 10:59 p.m.: My host takes me to my first frat party. I’m so excited. Or maybe just really drunk. But probably both. 11:11 p.m.: We walk into the frat house and go to the basement. I almost trip on the last step, but I catch myself. It’s essentially empty down here except for a few guys playing pong. I’m too drunk to care though, I head straight to the dance floor with my host. 11:32 p.m.: The party starts to fill up more, and Beyonce’s song Formation comes on. Everybody is hype, and I start grinding on this really
cute guy. Well, I don’t actually know if he’s really cute. I didn’t see his face. But his hips don’t lie. 11:41 p.m.: I turn around to go in for the DFMO and something terrible happens. It’s Douglas, the slug–lover. I immediately sprint to the bathroom and puke for a while. I can’t tell if it was the alcohol or the horror of seeing Douglas that initiated it. It was both. 12:45 a.m.: Done puking. 12:47 a.m.: My host finds me, and takes me to a magical place called Wawa. I get mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and fried chicken. Life is good. 12:56 a.m.: Upon arrival at the Quad, my host tells me to walk around for a few minutes while she and the guy from the party “have the room.” I comply. 4:18 a.m.: I wake up to Katie poking me in the face as I’m lying in the shower in the gender–neutral bathroom. She reprimands me and delivers me back to my host. I immediately pass out on the floor. 8:30 a.m.: I immediately accept my admissions offer at the University of Michigan. Fuck this place.
LOWBROW IS FAKE AND SO ARE THE FRIENDS YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE DURING NSO #SOZ 2 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 7 , 2 016