09.08.2016

September 8-14, 2016 34st.com

MUSLIM STUDENTS FIND BALANCE BETWEEN ACCEPTANCE AND ISLAMOPHOBIA

LATE NIGHT SPOTS • HOW TO RALLY • TRANSFER STUDENTS

september 8

PAG E T WO

2016

LOL

I have a confession: I’ve never taken a creative writing class at Penn.

I’ve never taken any type of writing class at Penn. I’ve never even taken an English class at Penn. In fact, the last time someone in an academic setting gave me feedback on my writing other than “this is good” was probably in 8th grade, when my English teacher took off points because I said “era in time” and that is redundant. And yet, somehow I am the Editor-in-Chief of this publication.

So this semester I signed up to take English 117: The Arts and Popular Culture because 1) my predecessor told me to, 2) my Managing Editor is taking it with me and 3) basically everyone else on Street ever has taken it (this may be an overstatement but, like, barely).

In my mind, it was going to be an easy class. We have to write about the arts and popular culture, and I literally run the arts and popular culture magazine at Penn. Besides, I know how to write.

But then I realized, what if I’m bad at creative writing?

I thought about erring on the side of caution and switching the class to

3 HIGHBROW

34thrive@penn, overheards, roundup

4 WORD ON THE STREET the black crayon

5 EGO

new kids on the block, eotw: spencer winson

LOL

LOL

LOL LOL

7 TECH

silly campaign vids, geotags

10 FEATURE islamophobia

12 FILM & TV

stranger things point/ counterpoint

14 VICE & VIRTUE

guide to late night spots, she comes first, yoga

LOL

16 ARTS

fringe at the barnes, shakesbeer

18 LOWBROW LOL

essential guide to penn's club fair, a bain coffee chat transcribed

LETTERFROMTHEEDITOR

pass fail, but I didn’t. I also thought about dropping it, but I’m not going to. Why? Because I think it’s time to find out if this is actually something I’m good at. And I think that it’s senior year, and that it would be easy to take bullshit classes and not challenge myself, but that just sounds like a very good way to waste a $66K tuition check.

When I came to Penn three years ago, I challenged myself by joining Street. This summer, I challenged myself by moving to Chicago by myself. Every time I challenge myself, I become a better person. It’s not fun, but the result is worth it. And I think that applies to you no matter where you are in life.

So, as we officially kick off the school year at Penn, keep this in mind.

Do something new, break the monotony, stop wearing fucking Adidas Superstars. Staying static is easy, changing is not.

IT STINGS WHEN YOU AREN'T IN THE LOOP ON WHAT THE HONEYS ARE BUZZING ABOUT. WANT TO BEE IN THE KNOW? COME TO OUR WRITERS' MEETING TONIGHT. 6:30 P.M., 4015 WALNUT.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief Mikaela Gilbert–Lurie, Managing Editor Giulia Imholte, Audience Engagement Director Jeffrey Yang, Design Director Remi Lederman, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director Genevieve Glatsky, Features Editor Orly Greenberg, Features Editor Mark Paraskevas, Supplemental Features Editor Dani Blum, Word on the Street Editor Julie Levitan, Word on the Street Editor Genny Hagedorn, Campus Editor Stephanie Barron, Culture Editor Emily Schwartz, Entertainment Editor Jack Cody, Humor Editor Sydney Hard, Music Editor Alix Steerman, Highbrow Beat Jackie Lawyer, Highbrow Beat 2

Mike Coyne, Ego Beat Liz Heit, Ego Beat Zoe Albano–Oritt, Music Beat Jamie Gobreski, Music Beat Olivia Fitzpatrick, Music Beat Colin Lodewick, Arts Beat Claris Park, Arts Beat Nick Joyner, Film & TV Beat Dayzia Terry, Film & TV Beat Caroline Harris, Tech Beat Aaron Kim, Tech Beat Haley Weiss, Vice & Virtue Beat Andreas Pavlou, Vice & Virtue Beat Katie Marshall, Lowbrow Beat Andrea Begleiter, Lowbrow Beat Nadia Kim, Design Editor Sofie Praestgaard, Design Editor Gloria Yuen, Illustrator

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Alex Fisher, Photo Editor Julie Chu Cheong, Photo Editor Brinda Ramesh, Photo Editor

Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Alex Fisher, Brinda Ramesh and Julie Chu Cheong.

Sara Thalheimer, Copy Director Annabelle Williams, Copy Editor Morgan Potts, Copy Editor Kyler McVay, Copy Editor Perren Carillo, Copy Editor

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief, at johns@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898-6585.

To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.

Sofia Price, Social Media Editor Sanika Puranik, Social Media Editor

"Oh my God, guys, I'm in the Hillel brochure."

Staff Writers: Hallie Brookman, Hannah Noyes, Johanna Matt, & Amanda Rota Staff Photographers: Gian Paul Graziosi, Brinda Ramesh, Julie Chu Cheong Contributors: Jackie Nickpour

www.34st.com

©2015 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

HIGHBROW

HOW TO MASTER THE RALLY Darty season seems to be in full blast, which is why Highbrow’s here to ensure your liver bounces back like a champ.

Step 1:

Step 4:

EAT BREAKFAST. Then pregame whatever pregame your resume–boosting club or Greek community is hosting with WATER. It might not have the same hype factor as a Red Bull vodka, but it will probably also not result in wanting to dismember anyone who speaks above a whisper in a few hours.

The best thing about the post–darty aftermath is that it’s probably only 4:30 p.m. by the time you’ve come home. Then you can take your pick of life saving, carb–carrying establishments to choose from to soak up the pool of Banker's in your stomach right now. Allegro Pizza and Wishbone and Chipotle, oh my.

Step 2:

Step 5:

If you’re one of those people who decides to blow off step one because you don’t want to have all that food and liquid in your stomach before you start drinking, then we feel you. You’re being an idiot, but we feel you. Just remember today is a marathon, not a sprint, so set up your bedside table before you go out with Advil, a trash bag (we’ve all been there) and the water bottle you were supposed to have already chugged.

Nap and caffeinate. You still have whatever sketchy events you were invited to on Facebook from that guy in your stat class to go to. This little evening slump right here is where heroes are either made or broken. Set your alarm for a solid three–hour nap, drag your poor aching body to Saxby’s and get that life– giving drink that is coffee.

Step 6:

Step 3: Darty, drink and get weird. Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do (which means you can do pretty much anything).

THEROUNDUP If you took Labor Day seriously, the only work you should’ve been up to this weekend was dancing to Rihanna at Made in America. With an extra day to Run This Town, we proudly channeled our inner BadGalRiRi and got down to business.

You might’ve been blacked out asking, “What’s My Name?” But don’t fear, Highbrow’s here to "Pon De Replay" on all the crazy shit that happened.

Phi got feisty this weekend when they decided to let hoards of freshman into their party, but aggressively turned away Sasha Obama. When it comes to knowing a “brother,” we guess Barack Obama doesn’t count. That wasn’t the only Obama drama for the weekend, though. Apes had their very own BYObama at 4K where Malia was spotted being more reckless than her dance moves at Lolla.

This time, she was snapped next to illa(delph) in an ironic “smoking kills” tee. Guess we know who puts

You’re rested, you’re caffeinated, there’s no turning back now.

Repeat step one and two and may the night bring you many DFMOs and Round Up worthy experiences. Congrats, you’ve made it, my friend.

the secret in secret service.

More myS(D)Tery arose when a freshman boy decided fall rush applied to more than just fraternities. It appears the confused frosh made his way into an off campus house of SDT girls before unknowingly crashing on their couch. When a stunned senior discovered him and questioned why he was there, he claimed that his “friend in Theos” had recommended he go there. As if the freshman hadn’t already worn out his welcome, the girl then caught the intruder’s friends snorting lines in her bathroom. We can only hope these rookies learn to (tres)pass out somewhere else next time.

Speaking of unwelcome lines, many Quakers were stuck waiting in one for two hours at Owls' Brunch. While most people were battle(ship)ing to get in, others were getting thrown out. One Chi–O senior sadly managed to sink rather than swim, when she got tossed out for not having her ship together. Meanwhile, a resourceful few found themselves taking the touristy route to get in and managed to seas the day, while the rest of us were feeling bouy back at the shore.

over heard PENN at

A "Brooke": We can't have too many 'Brookes' in this sorority. We can't have too many girls named Brooke because it would take away the uniqueness of THE Brooke.

Freshman boy in BBB: I don’t know what it means to SABS but I feel like I'm good at it.

Guy getting arrested at Brunch: I wasn't trying to climb the fence. I was trying to see if it was possible.

FroGro cashier: Her waist was about eight inches, but her booty was infinite.

Optimistic first timers: We can do this. We're Ivy leaguers. DARE commercials always made it look so easy.

While brunch goers were getting nauti(cal) in New Jersey, Philadelphia was heating up at Smokes’.

A West Point student decided to skip the brunch and go straight for the punch when he hit a Penn kid at the bar. The two duked it out, but since one is an army recruit and the other knows nothing more about recruitment than OCR, we'll let you guess who won.

In another strange duel, this time man vs. nature, a freshman who was trying to “get high” took the task too literally when he climbed a tree in the Quad. However, since it was only his second week at Penn, he must not have known that “what goes up must come down.” After “peaking,” the boy soon needed a rescue team and a ladder to get him back down. From now on, Highbrow suggests he try to stay more grounded. Or maybe he’ll realize that you can get just as high below ground in the catacombs.

The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.

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WORD ON THE STREET

word on the STREET

THE BLACK CRAYON

I learned about race for the first time when I was five.

While I considered myself white, I knew I wasn't just white like everyone else.

During my first week of kindergarten, my classmates and I were instructed to draw and color in pictures of ourselves to hang up for Parents' Night. All of my classmates immediately reached for the peach crayon, but I didn't look like that. I didn't look like the beige or white crayons either. I was darker, so out of simple childhood ignorance, I colored myself in with a black crayon.

My mother was shocked on Parents’ Night. I can still clearly remember the talk we had when she came home that night.

"Sweetie, you aren't black.

You're white," she explained in the most gentle way she could.

"Then why do I look different from everyone else?”

That wasn't a question that I could understand as a five–year–old. But over time, I learned my heritage is a little different. My mother's family came from Italy. I knew about that place—we had learned about it in social studies. I also learned my father's family came from Iran—a country where the streets were filled with festivity, where everyone treated each other like family. We didn't talk about that place so much in class.

But my family taught me to be proud of my heritage. My father and grandparents had emigrated from a remarkable country, and I had the hazel almond–shaped eyes, slender nose and golden skin to prove it. I grew up with Persian food, Iranian home decor and bits of knowledge in the Farsi language I'd learned from my grandparents.

In middle school, I began to ride the bus.

Like typical prepubescent tweens, some kids on my bus noticed that I looked a little dif4

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JACKIE NIKPOUR

My racial heritage is more than a label.

AP exams and college applications. What race was I supposed to put? I was white, but I wasn't all white. My grandparents spoke another language, and even though I'm Catholic, my grandparents' funerals were conducted according to Islamic tradition.

How could my ethnicity share a label with the traditional, European “white?”

This past summer, I interned with a well respected community healthcare nonprofit. Despite an international reputation, the organization itself was small, and we held once monthly all–staff meetings. At the July meeting, our president informed us all that this meeting would be a little different. She broke the uncomfortable barrier between Illustration by Gloria Yuen personal and professional life and brought up the Dallas shootings. She acknowledged the discomfort, but invited the staff to share their ferent. When asked about my ethnicity, I proudly reactions to the increasingly divisive tragedies facresponded I was Italian and Iranian. But while I ing our country. There, I watched a mixed–race never saw a reason to feel anything less than pride, queer woman discuss her friendship with a white, the kids didn't always agree.

Christian advocate against gay marriage. I listened "Terrorist!" One shouted. "When is your family as one of the smartest people I've ever known gonna blow up my house?" shared his story about having a gun pulled on him "Did you do 9/11?" Cried the first boy's friend. eight times, just for being black. I watched a white "Terrorist!" woman in her fifties sob into the microphone, shar"No, my family's not like that!" I defended. ing her fear about raising her male, white children "Iran is a good country, you just don't underin such a scary, hate–filled world. And after inhalstand!"

And how could they have? Looking back, I only ing a deep breath and raising my hand, I stood up and shared the story of the black crayon. knew the true, beautiful nature of Iran because my Part of the beauty of Penn lies in its diversity. father came from there.

In the class of 2019 alone, 47 percent of students High school was easier. Throughout my teen years, my ethnicity was hardly ever a source of con- self–identified as students of color; 12 percent are flict. Aside from the occasional look of discomfort I international students. We can’t all be labeled into Crayola colors. But as we thread in and out of receive when explaining my often–questioned ethnicity, most people remained unphased. To them, I Locust, peer around lecture halls and parties and was more like the peach crayon than the black one. take stock of the people around us, our differences should be praised, not ignored. Let’s start to share For the most part, people were just fascinated with our stories. the year–round tan that I inherited.

The times I truly felt different in high school were while filling out demographics for SATs,

EGO

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK: TRANSFERS They may not be a beloved '80s boy band, but they are new to campus and that counts for something, right?

Have you ever wondered what transfer students think of dear old Penn? Regardless of your answer to the previous question, we’re about to let you know. Opting to start over at a completely new school despite having a less–than–great experience their first time around is hard, but whether Penn rises to expectations is a different story.

Read on to hear about Penn through the eyes of some newly converted Quakers.

LIZ HEIT & MIKE COYNE

ALYSSA VACARRO (N '19) Alyssa bounced from Pace University, to Bucks County Community College and finally to Penn, where she’s enjoying life so far (Ed. note: Please stay, you’re super nice).

“Everybody here is really relaxed and really easy to talk to.

I thought it would be more of, I don’t know how to phrase that, I was worried it would be more of like an uptight environment where people didn’t really interact with each other, but that’s not what I’ve found at this school.” Leave it to the nurses to be welcoming.

“Everybody in my classes has been really wonderful and they’re all really dedicated to what they want to learn so that’s, like, a nice change of pace that they have a clear–set goal that they want to achieve and they’re working hard for it.”

COLE LEONARD (W '19) Cole comes to us after deciding to switch from engineering at Penn State to business, ultimately wanting a different business program (not because, as Street suggested, “State” was just one extra syllable too many). While he, self–admittedly, doesn’t have a ton of experience on campus yet, he’s got us pegged “...I expected it to be pre–professional, I expected it to be competitive, all the Penn stereotypes.” As for what he expected of the student body... Yeah, he’s figuring it out. “I expected them to be very diverse people with a whole bunch of different interests, but I was very surprised that everyone seems to be pushed into the same career path. So many people I’ve met, like English majors, are like ‘Yeah I want to work for Goldman’ and I didn’t really expect that much of it."

PETER ROMANELLO (C '19) Peter felt that his old school, Wesleyan, was too polarized.

To him, there were two types of people: The typical liberal kid who conformed to the school’s standards, and the athletes. He described Penn’s community as having a bit more variety, “There are people I’ve met that are in Theta, and they are a member of the Kelly Writers’ House, or they’re in

Greek life in a variety of clubs.

So it really kind of allows you to just kind of, like, cultivate the different aspects of your personality." Since his arrival to Penn, Peter has already noticed differences in the way people socialize... or don’t. “[At Wesleyan], you’d see everyone, like, a lot—really frequently— whereas here I’ve noticed even so far that you have to actively

seek people and make plans because...you still don’t run into everyone."

YOSSI SACHI (C '19) Middlebury, Vermont is not the college to go to if you want any sort of “downtown” life. There’s Middlebury... and only Middlebury. Yossi realized this in his first year, “There weren’t really restaurants or, like—it was very isolating. It was like very, like, just the fact that there were

no other outlets, you were like stuck in like the middle of nowhere.” Yossi chose Penn because he wanted a campus and a "downtown" life. Speaking of downtown, Yossi discussed Penn’s exclusivity. It surprised him that even though he got into Penn, there are a lot of hoops you have to jump

through if you want to be any sort of “somebody”.

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EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: SPENCER WINSON This SPEC President and Mask & Wig member talks Kanye beef, memes and all that's in between.

Street: What are you involved with on campus?

Spencer Winson: I’m President of SPEC as a whole.

SPEC is the Social Planning and Events Committee. It’s one of the six branches of Student Government. I am Stage Manager of Mask & Wig, which means I run the crew so that’s like, tech lighting, stage design, building the set. I am a member of MARS which is Men Against Rape and Sexual Assault. I have been since freshman year.

So I’m technically a member of Strictly Funk.

I just do their lighting, but I am a member!

I work at Career Services. I run their social media.

That was the first thing I actually got at Penn.

you get both sides of [production], being President of SPEC and then stage manager of Mask & Wig? SW: I guess that’s a cool way to think of it. I started behind the scenes everywhere, and I ended up being President of SPEC. I’m so hands off, like, I don’t pick any speakers at this point. I’m, like, much more making sure the organization runs and encouraging the directors who get the agency to do that. But on Mask & Wig, I’m planning out every piece of wood we’re buying, I’m, like, choosing a theme and being much more hands–on... I don’t think it’s often noticed, the detail of the stage crew. Like you have no idea who’s bringing on the set, and like how much effort or planning or thought goes into any of that.

SW: So, the real dream is Name: Spencer Winson I want to be in a record Hometown: Phoenix, AZ label where I get to go: Major: Communication 'Ariana Grande, you have to wear your ponytail.' I Activities: SPEC, Mask & don’t know what posiWig, MARS, Strictly Funk tion that’s called. But I think it would be great wouldn’t. to be able to be like, 'No, your brand is your ponytail, Ariana Street: What's your go–to Grande.' I would love to do spot? that.

SW: I had a great time at

Street: You’re very involved in the pop culture zeitgeist, and you’ve met a lot of people.

How do you feel about the Kim, Kanye, Taylor Swift drama?

SW: I view it as God’s birthday gift to me. Because it was on my birthday that Kim Kardashian released her Snapchat video... Nothing made me happier than at work, getting Street: Who’s been your to talk and throwing myself favorite person that you’ve Street: Where are you from? into my Magnolia cupcakes, organized with SPEC? and Taylor Swift/Kim KarSW: So I grew up in MinneSW: I got to talk with apolis until eighth grade, and dashian drama. I think they’re Caitlyn Jenner for, like, ten then I moved down to Arizona both incredibly smart women. minutes. Like, one–on–one, with my Mom for high school. I think Taylor Swift has a mulwhich was incredible… titude of fans that will all conBut then I lived like a snowThat was, like, definitely the bird for four years ‘cause I tribute. And I think her talent highlight of last year and it and music is incredibly great. would spend the winters in only happened ‘cause... so of- Arizona and the summers in And I love it. But I think she’s tentimes in these receptions, Minneapolis. incredibly calculated. And not like there’s no way I’m gonna in a bad way. get an individual photo. It’s Street: So you’d go to school just not appropriate to be in Arizona, and spend sum- Street: While we’re talking about memes, what are some like, 'I’m special, just me.' mers in Minneapolis?

I knew the photographer SW: Yeah, with my Dad. And favorites? though, and I was like, 'I SW: My favorite listicle, and I was a preschool counselor this is a valuable listicle: Rihave an idea.' Like Caitlyn which is still my favorite job hanna leaving restaurants with Jenner was very sweet, like I’ve ever had. Preschoolers walking into the room, are the best age, between four wine glasses. and like... I’ve never met and six, ‘cause they don’t lie. someone more gracious, They don’t lie, so like they’ll be Street: What was your first or like really like, cared honest. They’re not mean then. screen name?

SW: Oh, ipodman23, which I about interacting with They’ll be like, 'Yeah I peed feel like is fitting now. people who were in myself ‘cause I’m having too this reception which much fun' and I’m like, 'You Street: There are two types of I found to be very know what? I respect that.' people at Penn… endearing.

SW: There are people who Street: So if that was your Street: Do favorite job you’ve had so far, would go to Chancellor backlot and there are people who you feel like what’s the dream?

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Smokes' the night before everyone got back. And oh! I’m gonna tell the story. I’m gonna out myself. So I went to Allegro's and it was like 1:45 a.m., so I get a slice of pizza. And I’m walking home like, 'You know what would be great?

Fries. I want like Spanish cheese fries from Copa.' But guess what? Copa doesn’t exist, ’cause their kitchen closes at 1 a.m. But there was a lovely basket of, like, third–eaten Spanish cheese fries left at a table outside Copa... I took it.

I took it and ran.

Street: What would you be infamous for?

SW: My self–serving phone cases. All my phone cases have constantly featured my face on them and I’m trying to ,like, get past it. It’s just me and celebrities, like pictures I’ve taken at concerts.

Street: What’s one question we forgot to ask you?

SW: You forgot to ask me what’s changed since last year.

And I’d like to point out that I now have an adult backpack instead of my Britney Spears backpack.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

INTERVIEW CONDUCTED BY MIKE COYNE AND LIZ HEIT

TECH

SPICY VIDS FOR INTERNET KIDS The viral election videos that are more important than the national conventions.

This summer, I dropped off the face of the earth. Like, all the way to Asia. I rolled up to Penn with no idea what year it was, much less what was happening on the World Wide Web. Turns out, while I was in Bali for a month with no Internet access, I missed a lot. For example, American politics are in shambles (are we even surprised?), and now a YouTuber is making bizarre, viral election videos. His name's Mike Diva, he's 29 and his videos are kind of hilarious.

Who is this person again?

Mike Diva (originally Mike Dalquist, but that's so much more boring) describes himself as a maker of videos, music and memes. He makes "spicy vids for Internet kids," has shaggy blue hair and wears a lot of fedoras. Now that his election videos have received international attention, he's a pretty big deal. Personally, I will be voting for him in the upcoming election.

Japanese Donald Trump Commercial When this parody pro– Trump video came out, a bunch of super–smart YouTubers assumed it was real, so we have plenty of reasons to feel hopeful about our nation's future.

The star of this video (other than Trump) is a blue–haired fangirl in a pink tutu. The video starts with her lying around her bedroom, which is filled with sparkly lights and posters of Trump. Her

pink TV announces Trump has just been named World President, so she rocks out in a vaguely psychedelic dreamworld. She frolics past cherry blossom trees, rides animated Trump llamas and stares adoringly at photos of him. A cutesy song plays in the background and everything's cast in glittery purple and pink. It's creepy, it's offensive and it celebrates Trump's non–existent sex appeal. Honestly, Trump probably did make it and is pissed that Diva took the credit.

Hillary Clinton: Meme Queen 2016 This next one spoofs Clinton's attempts to relate to be fresh, hip and down with the

cool kids. Though Clinton is a grandma/pantsuit aficionado, that doesn't stop her from trying to come out with the dankest memes. (Trump Yourself, anyone?)

In the video, a Hillary Clinton lookalike relates her policies to Dat Boi, Damn Daniel, Nyan Cat and Harlem Shake. She pitches herself as a Meme Queen then encourages voters to "Pokémon GO to the polls" so their "memes are no longer just dreams."

It's all very forced, much like

real–life Clinton's attempts to connect to millennials.

Famous politicians: They're just like you!

What he should do next: The video I want to see is the DL on Melania Trump and her shady past. Did she graduate college? Did she plagiarize Michelle Obama? Is she even a US citizen? These are the important questions.

TL;DR Politics are depressing but we'll always have YouTube.

CAROLINE HARRIS

IMPORTANT: WHAT IS THAT SMELL AT 39TH AND WALNUT? SERIOULSLY THERE'S NO JOKE HERE, I JUST WANT ANSWERS. WHY DOES IT SMELL SO BAD???

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TECH

WHAT IS GIVTAKE? Buying and selling some of your shit around campus is a great, easy way of making money, but it can also be a huge pain in the ass. Although we still do it, nobody really wants to be posting in their class or the Free & For Sale Facebook pages. Thankfully for us, Erica Polle, a senior Communications major, and her sister, Karen, just made this easier with their startup, a website called GivTake.

GivTake allows users to easily buy and sell things around campus. Although there is no app, it is mobile– friendly. GivTake is a one– stop shop, which eliminates the need of having to scroll through a bunch of different Facebook pages to find a certain couch. When you register for GivTake, you can either register as a student, student organization or a business. This gives you the options to sell things individually, or to sell apparel or tickets as a fraternity/sorority, etc. Once you register and make a profile, you can

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filter what type of items you are looking for.

After picking an item you want to buy, you select if you want to pay via cash, card or PayPal and then if you want to meet up with the person or have the item delivered to you.

For increased security, GivTake has its own in–site messaging system, which allows for communication between buyers and sellers without having to disclose email addresses or phone numbers. Also, GivTake has sole discretion over any items posted, so don’t try to use it to sell drugs or vital organs or any other shit that belongs on Craigslist. They haven’t experienced any trouble yet

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so don’t fuck it up.

GivTake is unique; if you are selling something, you can pay a small fee to have your item listed as featured.

This means that it will be on the front page, which will attract more views to your item. You can also shop for items at other campuses.

Currently GivTake is at

An easier way to buy and sell shit.

Penn, Temple, Northeastern, Maryland and Penn State. If you order something from another campus, you can either have it delivered to you or you can pick it up from their campus.

Interestingly enough, Erica and Karen founded GivTake very organically.

As Erica goes to Penn and Karen goes to Yale, one winter break they both came home and both complained about how there isn't an effective and efficient way to buy and sell things on college campuses.

Erica explained that once they talked to their friends and realized that many people felt this way, the whole idea of GivTake

“snowballed.” The beta phase of GivTake launched at Penn on Aug. 28, 2015, and it has been growing steadily. They started the school year with 800 users and now have 835.

GivTake is currently trying to expand by marketing on social media, partnering with local businesses such as HubBub and Schmear It and hosting events and giveaway contests. These local businesses are promoting themselves by offering free items for using GivTake. They are also looking to expand to different campuses.

GivTake is an up–and– coming, easy way of buying and selling items for college students. So next time you need to buy an AC unit or sell your old lamp on campus, instead of being that kid posting in all of the Facebook pages, give GivTake a go.

AARON KIM

TECH

STREET'S

GUIDE TO

MAKING

YOUR OWN SNAPCHAT GEOTAG Go ahead and become snapchat–sceney.

Snapchat just got easier.

On August 30, 2016, Snapchat released a new web tool that allows anybody to easily and quickly make their own geotag.

Previously, to make a geotag, you needed pretty good Photoshop skills to make a design and then submit it to Snapchat for approval.

On Snapchat’s new web tool, once you log in with your Snapchat information, you will find a

Urine Ben’s Squad!

Your tour guide lied: DO step on The Compass, DON’T sit next to Ben.

#Classof20TV

Back in our day, Hill didn’t even have acceptable temperature regulation.

#SWUGcentral

This is Smokes'. I don’t care how good your fake is, freshmen—get out.

The Alcohol Oasis

You think being 21 will be great. But then you realize alcohol still costs money, it’s still heavy and it’s still a whole FIVE BLOCKS from campus.

number of set templates for various events such as birthdays, weddings, etc. You can simply change the colors of the geotags and add the text that you want on the screen.

If you are making the geotag for a party or event you can select the dates for which the geotag is available and the location where it is. The geotags start at $5. Go forth and be Snapchat–sceney, dear readers. But, in case you’re strapped for ideas, here are a few of ours...

Where no one can hear you scream

For that sketchy VP lift.

Wharton students will never understand.

Is Amybody Home?

Amy G’s house and her fabulous lipstick NEED a geotag.

ILOVEPENN

To send to those people you hate who went abroad. Let’s face it—Penn is better without U.

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Humanities majors just don't get it.

Your Stadium’s at 40th & Spruce (215) 382-1330 | copabanana.com/university-city

AARON KIM S E P T E M B E R 8 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

9

F E AT U R E

F E AT U R E

Between Prayer and Politics: MUSLISM STUDENTS FIND BALANCE BETWEEN ACCEPTANCE AND ISLAMOPHOBIA BY MIKE COYNE

Somewhere on campus, a man calls a female student a terrorist from his car window, a group of students passionately argue the logic behind public bans on hijabs and a TA refuses to give a student her exam until she removes her headscarf.

Elsewhere on campus, hallmates stay up all night with a student until morning prayer to learn about Islam, community spaces to discuss religious and ethnic identity thrive and the general openness and good–heartedness of Penn students abounds.

There exists a tension on Penn’s campus, then, a tension between the various shades of Islamophobia Muslim students experience.

This strain ranges from blatant vitriol to nuanced microaggressions—and the values of an elite, liberal, northeastern university which encourage tolerance, but to an unclear and imperfect extent.

Muslim students on Penn’s campus have grown up in the shadow of 9/11 and a rising tide of Islamophobia consuming the international, national and even local political stages. “A whole new dimension of living Muslim in America has emerged since September 11,” University Chaplain Reverend Charles Howard notes solemnly, before comparing this reality with its social counterweight, “On the positive though, I think that the fruit of the last 15 years has also been a desire for understanding and familiarity with Islam in a way that wasn’t there before.”

A microcosm of a turbulent world, Penn finds itself in the nexus of these countervailing truths, somewhat complicating the largely positive experience of many Muslim students.

The Muslim Student Experience

Zuhaib Badami, a sophomore from Saudi Arabia in the Huntsman program, conveys a positive experience on Penn’s campus when it comes to his faith and religious identity— as many Muslim students do. “Honestly, I’m thankful; I’ve been pretty blessed in not

1 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E S E P T E M B E R 8 , 2 016

encountering Islamophobic incidents,” in fact, he finds that people are often rather interested in learning about Islam. Freshman year he taught floormates about Muslim prayer after having an all night discussion about religion. Yet, at the same time that Zuhaib finds potential allies at Penn, there still remains the subtlest tinge of nuanced exoticization. “You will still get people who are like, when you’re like ‘I’m Muslim,’ they’ll be like, ‘Oh that’s cool!’ And it’s like, is it? I think it’s pretty normal, I mean it should be pretty normal, not exotic, just normal.”

Still, as an international student, Penn’s campus has also been liberating for Zuhaib in meaningful ways. “I can pray freely, well mostly pray freely in the States, whereas I can’t do that in Saudi Arabia… On an emotional level it definitely means that I enjoy the fact that like there’s a Mosque here that’s ten minutes away that I can go to for prayer every day. Whereas in Saudi Arabia, I would have to drive a half an hour, 40 minutes to get to one Mosque across three cities.” For Zuhaib, Penn means more religious freedom on a welcoming campus, but not without the occasional frustration.

Adam Adnane, a senior in the College, seconds Zuhaib and relays a positive experience of Penn as a Muslim student, but tempers his responses somewhat. “I’m not going to say there are no people on campus that don’t have negative views of Islam or Muslims because that would be an untruth,” he explains, “But I am going to say that the environment and the majority of people, they’re open to learning and understanding other people.”

Adam knows firsthand the complex truth that ignorance and Islamophobia are alive on campus, a stark contrast from the positivity he usually encounters. Adam, as he describes it, is able to pass as an “average white guy” which often means he hears

comments that people wouldn’t say if “[he were] easily identifiable as Muslim.” Adam gives the example of impassioned discussions about policies banning religious coverings. Thus, despite widespread tolerance, it’s unclear how deeply values of acceptance truly run when no one is there to hear what is said.

This dichotomous experience is perhaps explained by Penn’s dedication to supporting Muslim students in the face of the new social experience of American Muslims since September 11. Reverend Howard, while self–admittedly biased, sees Penn as a leader in supporting Muslim students with a dedicated Muslim prayer room—in the Spiritual and Religious Life Center at Penn (SPARC) on the second floor of Houston—and a Muslim Campus Minister, among other resources. Especially when, in Reverend Howard’s estimation, “a minority of schools” offer a dedicated Muslim Campus Minister and where Penn was “probably among the first five [schools]” to offer such a resource.

As new Muslim Campus Minister Patricia Anton sees her role, she is a hub of interfaith resources, a mentor for Muslim students, and an educator both helping Muslim students develop a deeper understanding of their faith while also creating learning opportunities for Penn at large.

“Muslims are less than one percent of the population of this country, but everybody has questions for us so it is something that can weigh on students," she explains. "They have to deal with this a lot, so I think that having someone that can formally help through the interfaith channels, through academic channels, be available to answer questions, provide frameworks is helpful.”

Anton serves as a sort of expert to help foster awareness in the larger Penn community while also helping students learn to answer tough questions themselves. With Penn leading the charge to support the experience of Muslim students on campus, it’s easy to understand why many Muslim students, like Adam and Zuhaib, feel safe and comfortable.

With institutional and broad student body support on one hand but with Islamophobia still infiltrating on the other, Muslim students are left in an ambiguous middle ground. Irtiqa Fazili, a senior in the College, points to an answer, “It’s hard to be like, ‘Now that I’ve stepped onto 38th Street I no longer feel that [Islamophobia] exists.’

In fact, it was on 39th Street that a man called her a terrorist from his car. Penn, within Philly, within the United States, is difficult to separate from a world where Islamophobic ads connecting “the Muslim world” and Hitler are strewn across SEPTA, a world where implicitly negative narratives about the religion of billions are everywhere.

A world where, as Adam posits, “99.999% of what the media covers on Muslims is negative aspects.” A world where, as Anton importantly notes, “These images that have been put on the news and through media of violence of terror are, they’re just continuous, there’s a lot of them, but yet where are the images of Muslims being Muslims every day? It is an absolute skewed perception of reality, you don’t see them living their lives.”

Penn, as a few city blocks, can only serve as an imperfect, ultimately penetrable shield.

It cannot dissociate from reality.

The Othering of Islam

On Penn’s campus, as Irtiqa describes, most Islamophobia is microaggressive.

Muslim students rarely encounter explicitly cruel language, though that is not to say they never do. At the heart of the subtle Islamophobia Muslim students face appears to be a common thread of assumed foreignness.

Adam’s passing as an “average white guy” is telling, illuminating the assumption that ostensible whiteness and Islam are incompatible. “There’s an identifier that’s associated with Islam that the media and movies and cinema have always latched onto the religion and its people, that I guess people have just accepted,” observes Adam, speaking to the inaccurate public image of Islam as only “people with darker skin or people

who wear the hijab.”

In this way, Islamophobia has a further reach than just Muslims. Zuhaib explains that "Islamophobia affects Sikhs, it affects Indians, if affects Arab Jews, it affects Arab Christians, it affects Sri Lankans who are not Muslim, it affects all sorts of people who are not necessarily Muslims.” Islamophobia, then, attacks what is apparently non–Western, often meaning nonwhite, setting up a comparison between the assumed normality of some racial, ethnic and religious groups versus others.

These grand sociopolitical forces do not always manifest themselves blatantly, however. As Irtiqa explains, just a single sentence can reveal a good deal about Islamophobia. “The biggest way I feel Islamophobia is when people say, ‘Not you, I mean everyone else,’ because it reduces all of the good things about me to Americanism or being Americanized or being Westernized," Irtiqa confessed. "Which is frustrating to me because, at least personally, the reason I am the way I am, or the reason my personality is shaped this way is because I want to embody the tenets of my religion that tell me how I should interact with other people.” Here, “everyone else” represents Muslims at large as Irtiqa’s identity as an American Muslim is split in two, where what is positive is disconnected from Islam and attributed to Western culture.

And while Islamophobia may speak generally to the larger societal tendency towards the othering of minority groups, it is important to note a specific aspect of Islamophobia, reaching beyond just an alienation of what is not white, “Western” or “American.” In the case of Islamophobia, it is the othering of those unfairly perceived as potentially dangerous. Reverend Howard explains that, “In the classroom students have told me when the topic turns to terror

"

or ISIL/ISIS, everyone looks over at you because you must be the expert on Islam, and what are you going to do on this topic, and what are you going to do about y’all people.” Muslims are often treated as connected to ideas of violent extremism that look nothing like their beliefs or the beliefs of the vast majority of Muslims globally.

At a time where Islamophobia plays such a large role on the American and international political stages when it comes to questions of Syrian refugees, terror and ISIS, the social image of Muslims is further distorted. Islamophobia as it operates today, not only draws lines along religious or ethnoracial differences, but demarcates which groups a majority considers a potential threat, seemingly negating their individuality.

Penn, as a few city blocks, can only serve as an imperfect, ultimately penetrable shield. it cannot dissociate from reality.

Fighting Hatred with Knowledge

While a large part of Islamophobia, both broadly and on campus, is assumed foreignness, an equally problematic factor is the basic ignorance many have about Islam, its tenets, and even the experience of Muslims.

Seeing the problem clearly, Muslim students are working to combat this by creating spaces for dialogue and changing narratives about Muslims at Penn and beyond.

Sensing a need for discussion about Islamophobia on campus, Majid Mubeen, a senior in the college, along with Zuhaib and recent graduate Fahmida Sarmin, founded Penn Students Against Islamophobia and Discrimination (Penn SAID). Speaking on the inspiration behind Penn SAID, Majid explains that “The basic idea was to work together and maybe get resources and information from anyone who was affected

by Islamophobia and anyone who wants to be an ally.” Majid, with Zuhaib and Fahmida, worked to fill a void on campus

when it came to discussing and actively combatting Islamophobia and doing so across communities. “I wanted to create a space where everyone could sort of meld and mix together," explained Majid. "And would allow people to feel comfortable even if they weren’t of the Muslim faith to engage, because I think there wasn’t a space for everyone to normally just interact.”

According to Majid, while Islamophobia may be “muted” on Penn’s campus, it is not nonexistent and he believes that while he has been relatively unaffected, that that isn’t the case for all; he hopes that Penn SAID can help to better inform students of each other’s experiences, identifying the problem and educating students to be agents of change, especially when leaving the bubble of campus life.

Adam, too, has set his sights on a project to take on Islamophobia, starting a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for Tuesday’s Children, an organization forged in the aftermath of 9/11 which helps youth, families, and communities recover from the trauma of violence, often terrorism, through a number of different programs. At the heart of his work, as a campaign headed by a Muslim, Adam wants to reframe the often negative view of Muslims, “three or four billion people aren’t here to hurt you, they’re here to love one another and love others and just live their lives peacefully.” Still, Adam earnestly explains that #UNITEDWeStand is the anthem of this project, supporting victims of painful tragedies together, united as Americans, Muslim or not.

On Penn’s campus, there is still work to be done to ward off the dregs of Islamophobia and what it represents; perhaps for many, as for Majid, faith will guide them through. “At the end of the day as a person rooted in my faith I think my job is to put in the effort and try to get people together and the result is in God’s hands.”

Mike Coyne is a senior in the College studying Sociology and Political Science. He is an Ego Beat for Street.

S E P T E M B E R 8 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 1

FILM & TV

STRANGER THINGS: A STRANGE THING

It's time to unpack the hype.

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back is the critical watershed that Stranger Things seems to balance on. It has a classical horror movie set–up: a monster on the run, a missing child, a quiet suburban town. It’s J.J. Abram’s nostalgic wet dream, with Carpenter–esque synthesizers and ‘80s bops to boot.

Stranger Things is obviously and intentionally stylish, but at times the thematic content can feel lost in the pretension of trying to meld a nostalgia film with a science–fiction–conspiracy flick by way of monster movie.

Immediately after the release of the series when the Duffer brothers sat down with Variety, they point to various backstories and explanations that they “didn’t have time for” or that wouldn’t fit into the eight–hour span of the season. They opt for a slow reveal flashback approach that attempts to peel back the history of government experimentation on Eleven and the intrusion of the Demogorgon from the Upside Down.

But in attempting to strip the backstories to the bone for brevity, the audience is left to make assumptions of their own, the answers to which the Duffer brothers know but didn’t have time to share. But such is the error of their condensing. The major plot points stand as lighthouses for an audience who must find their way. How exactly did Eleven create a portal for the monster to enter our world?

How and when can the Demogorgon create rips in the Upside Down and how long do these rabbit holes last before they close? Why is the Department of Energy responsible for this research

and what were they hoping to accomplish? Questions like these leave the audience grasping for more, as the obvious answers and suspension of disbelief don’t satisfy when the plot holes come with frequency.

Although Stranger Things undoubtedly can reveal its merit for those who stick around past the cascading action that begins in the fourth and fifth episodes, it raises interesting questions about nostalgia pieces, a debate far more interesting than the tiring detraction that the series is a stylish hack lacking originality.

Parts of the thread do seem farfetched (Eleven doing experiments to telekinetically intercept transmissions from Russian spies?), but it only comes through when the stitches of the genre–blending start to show. Not very often do throwback films have something new to add in terms of generic devices.

This expectation, usually applied to hard science fiction cinema, does not, and arguably should not, hold for Stranger Things.

But is the measure of a good show always its ability to bring something fresh to the table? Or can atmospheric style and simple but taut dialogue suffice? One viewing of Stranger Things, that takes into account Winona Ryder’s hyperbolic performance and the other seeming excesses of the series, could categorize the series as a trial balloon of many different kinds, seeing the Duffer brothers experimenting with a Frankenstein of TV forms and seeing what actually comes alive. If anything else, they’ll know what to bring in its second season.

NICK JOYNER

FILM & TV

WHAT TO NETFLIX IN SEPTEMBER

What a shame that Roboshark is no longer with us.

Life is all about the ebb and flow, and nothing exemplifies this better than Netflix's seasonal recalibrations of their streaming options. To remind you of the ephemeral nature of everything beautiful, they'll be retiring several of their selections every few days for the entire month. But fear not, as you kiss Fringe, Zoolander and The Bridge on the River Kwai goodbye, Netflix will be replacing them with another seemingly random assemble of entertainment.

Narcos (Season 2 now available)

This Netflix original follows Pablo Escobar and his run–ins with obstacles on his way to becoming a cocaine–slinging billionaire in the late 1970s. In the 20 years that pass in the first season, Escobar has dodged the DEA and finessed relationships with local politicians and business associates, only to be imprisoned and eventually escape. It is on this note of vulnerability that the second season begins, as the wonderfully acted aging kingpin seeks to reclaim his glory in an arc of gut– wrenching action.

Zootopia (Sept. 20)

Fan of animated films or not, if you didn't catch this is theaters you're a hater who needs to add some animated enjoyment to their schedule. Already the 24th highest grossing film of all time, Zootopia is a modern Disney jewel about a world of anthropomorphic animals and a bunny's dream of being a police officer in it. Dealing with the nuances of racism and labor divisions, it's a gently woke film for the next generation of socially conscious children and an enjoyment for those who view it with them.

The Walking Dead (Season 6 available Sept. 20)

Not exactly sure how they're still alive and not yet consumed by the hordes of walkers, but nevertheless, our heroes Rick and Carl fight on to defend his fellow Alexandrians from the Wolves, Saviors and innumerable other threats. In Season 6, inter–human conflict runs high, as the walkers seem to be temporarily put on the back burner for a more familiar danger. This deep in, The Walking Dead remains taut and tense despite the slow stretches, and continues its merciless examination of justice in the face of apocalypse that will more than please fans.

NICK JOYNER

True Grit (now available)

You probably saw the Coen brothers remake a few years back when you were trying to catch all the Best Picture nominees, which is an arguably more focused attempt that pleases lovers of Westerns alike. But that's not to write off the original feature and the accompanying magic of John Wayne, as his role as a marshall tracking down a murderous outlaw remains one of his most iconic roles. Beautifully shot on location in Ouray, Colorado, True Grit is the kind of daytime television film you watch at your grandparent's house, the perfect combination of comforting old–timey dialogue with subdued action.

Portlandia (Season 6 available Sept. 24)

It's time to poke fun at millennial culture again. All your favorite Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein sketches are returning in their sixth season, with guest appearances from The Flaming Lips, Alia Shawkat, Steve Buscemi and Zoë Kravitz. And yes, since we know you were wondering, Candace and Toni grace this short ten–episode run with an entire episode grappling with their living in "the most feminist city in the US." S E P T E M B E R 8 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 3

YOGA

THE MEANING OF At the yoga studio I go to in Palo Alto, California, annoyingly skinny people gyrate to Justin Bieber. They come to class in groups of two or three, their fit bodies clad in Lululemon, and their conversations filled with phrases like "boys loveeee girls who do yoga."

They leave class with glistening backs and shaking arms, swinging their metal water bottles at their sides with conviction.

VICE AND VIRTUE

From the girl who joined a Balinese yoga cult.

CAROLINE HARRIS

la–la–land of dancing elephants and monkeys. They say Bali is Australia's Hawaii, so I naturally assumed I would run into the Hemsworth brothers in the Denpasar airport.

Moreover, I anticipated being so zen after my month of yoga that I would drop both my black crop tops for patterned harem pants and out of Penn to stay in Asia.

nostrils. The other people in the program were nomads, traveling indefinitely and teaching yoga to make ends meet. One man introduced himself as a famous icon in the vegan–yogi Instagram community.

One woman ran around in various When August rolled around, states of undress, Virginia and I embarked upon chiming her For years I thought yoga our 200–hour yoga teacher singing bowl and was a frivolous spectacle. training. We moved into a hut giving unsolicited When my sister Virginia anin the jungle with ants, mosThai massages. nounced she was going to Bali quitoes and a lizard named to become a yoga teacher, I We did eight hours of yoga Jerry. We surrounded ourselves imagined fun and fit twenty– with eclectic randos. Our yoga each day, dodged rabid dogs, somethings lying poolside, chanted mantras, planted rice, teachers were quite the duo: sipping out of coconuts and one self–identified as Yoda and fed elephants, studied Sanskrit lightly stretching. I dedicated refused to wear colors other and read yoga sutras. It was my summer savings to joinunusual, intense and nothing than white, the other was a ing her on the month–long raging moon–child who wore like the month–long vacation yoga teacher training, which I leaves as earrings. Both woke I had in mind. Despite my thought would take place in a up at 4 a.m. to floss their many misadventures, it was on

* Free admission before 1am with Penn ID *

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samadhi. Most people do yoga to become stronger, more flexible and more relaxed.

Maybe they love the idea of I had originally planned to yoga. Maybe they're in it for the Instagram. There's nothing call this article "Yoga School wrong with that. But I think Dropout" and discuss my failings as a yogi, like twitch- the most meaningful yoga ing uncontrollably during goes inward, developing the mind as much as the body. morning meditation and not being a gluten–free vegan. But Our yoga teachers ended every against the odds, I passed my class by telling us to enjoy our teaching test and became a bodies, enjoy our lives and be happy. To me it really is that certified teacher of ashtanga simple. vinyasa yoga. Ashtanga yoga translates to "eight–limb yoga" and its general principles resoOne night in Bali, there was a huge storm. It was the kind nate with me. Ashtangis believe yoga isn't about looking of storm that only happens good in yoga pants or impress- deep in the jungle—a toring some guy. Yoga is about rential downpour, a chorus of reaching samadhi, a state of monkeys and frogs, a stench ecstasy or divine bliss. There of soaked flowers. The yoga are eight limbs to getting shala seemed ready to collapse. there: ethical considerations, I looked around and almost personal considerations, physi- everyone was crying, curling cal poses, breathwork, sensory into little balls at the tops of their mats. The song Asatoma withdrawal, concentration, meditation and oneness. By played from the shala's speakembracing all eight limbs, you ers and right then, two large can become your most blissful, butterflies began circling above us. It was one of the yogic self. most beautiful moments of Most people don't do yoga my life. I bet samadhi feels a lot like that. with the goal of reaching that island of misfit toys that I discovered what yoga means to me.

VICE AND VIRTUE

STREET'S DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO

LATE NIGHT SPOTS ON CAMPUS

Confused and sober? We got you.

Greetings, freshmen with Harvest Seasonal Grill good fakes, timid transfer & Wine Bar students and seniors who “Clüb Harvest” never used to go out but are ready for that hardcore slide. You’re probably a little confused by the various late night spots on campus you keep hearing about. Fear not.

Street is here to help you fit in and get down with the cool drunk kids.

Smokey Joe’s Tavern “Smokes'’

How to fit in: Befriend the bouncers. Never show up before 12:30 a.m. (unless your fake is bad). Carve your name into the wall by the booths. Brag about being a SWUG (Senior Washed Up Girl/Guy). Learn the words to “Smokey Joe’s Cafe” and “Heroin” by the one and only Kenneth Kweder—hint: The most prevalent word is “heroin.”

What to order: The Blue Drink ($5). Don’t ask, just drink.

When to go: Tuesday for Kweder’s performances ($2), Wednesday for Sink or Swim ($5 cover, 50 cent drinks).

The Blarney Stone “Blarn”

How to fit in: Be an athlete or a Drexel student.

What to order: A pitcher of vodka soda ($16) to share.

When to go: Thursday for 50 cent drinks, Saturday for hot athletes in season (they get Sundays off).

STEPH BARRON

How to fit in: get comfortable with the non–Penn West Philly crowd. Learn all the words to Whitney Houston’s greatest hits.

What to order: A Long Island Iced Tea ($8). Also, if you have the Yelp app, you get a discount on flatbreads.

When to go: Thursdays 10 p.m.–12 a.m., when the deadly Long Islands are only $3.

Fraternity Late Nights “Late Night”

How to fit in: Be drunk, be a freshman.

What to order: A drink you make yourself—Jungle Juice ($Your Dignity) is bad news.

When to go: That time in the night when you want to go home. Just not to your home.

Allegro Pizza “Allegro’s”

How to fit in: Be drunk and a little disappointed by your night. Call it “Allegro’s.”

What to order: If you can stand the wait, a milkshake ($4.86) and mozzarella sticks ($5.95). If not, a slice of pizza ($2.25)—you’ll be drunk anyway.

When to go: Those nights when pizza is more appealing than a Late Night Fuckboi (aka all nights).

Copabanana “Copa”

How to fit in: Be either a betchy girl ordering a vegan

non–dairy skinny Prickly Pear Margarita ($9.99) or a Philly resident in a motorcycle gang—no in–between allowed.

What to order: Nachos ($8.95) or a quesadilla ($9.95)—priced like an appetizer but every bit as appealing to a drunk person as a more pricey plate of food.

(Ed. note: Fuck that, get a marg or leave.)

Copa

Wawa Just “Wawa”

...(it’s easy to say with a drunken slur)

How to fit in: Say hi to Nice Wawa Guy. What to order: Mac & Cheese ($3.59).

When to go: On your way back to your freshman dorm—those four red neon letters are your oasis, your glowing beacon of hope as you stumble home. Probably from a Late Night that failed to fulfill its purpose.

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ARTS

FRINGE THEATER AT THE BARNES:

JACE CLAYTON’S ROOM 21 An Immersive Performance to Open the Philadelphia Fringe Festival

3730 Spruce St

penncampushairsalon.com

215.222.9351

Celebrating 100 years on Campus

STAY ON CAMPUS FOR ALL OF YOUR SALON NEEDS

STOP IN FOR OUR FANTASTIC SERVICES! Enjoy a manicure or pedicure, or try one of our waxing services

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Philadelphia will be alive with contemporary performance and theatre starting Thursday, Sept. 8, with the beginning of FringeArts’ annual Philadelphia Fringe Festival.

Now in its twentieth year, the 17–day celebration will include over 1,000 contemporary performances across the city, with both performances curated by FringeArts and works produced by independent artists. International, national and Philadelphia–based artists will be on display for the entirety of the festival.

Among the cultural institutions involved in the Fringe Festival is the Barnes Foundation. On Sept. 9, composer Jace Clayton will be performing his piece "Room 21."

Originally planned to be a response to the collection as a whole, Clayton’s site–specific piece eventually came to focus on only room 21 of the Barnes collection. Lee Tusman, the project’s curator, attributes this development to the fact that the room “served as a microcosm of the collection overall: It contains both sacred and profane artworks, European single–artist paintings as well as anonymous cultural artifacts from Africa and paintings by students who studied at The Barnes Foundation.”

The carefully choreographed piece will be a testament to the adjacency of the Barnes collection’s vastly varying works.

The FringeArts website quotes Clayton: “My approach to composition is informed by my background as a DJ, and in many ways Albert Barnes himself thought like a DJ by arranging artworks with a sense for their overall rhythm and unexpected resonances.”

For Blake Bradford, the Bernard C. Watson Director of Education at the Barnes, the performance suits the institution’s history of experimentation and its mission of advancing the public’s relationship with fine art. “In terms of

the Barnes Foundation’s fit in the contemporary art world, Room 21 is further evidence of the deep resonance of Albert Barnes’s vision, activities, and collections. Whether minimalists, maximalists, or somewhere in between, many contemporary artists find inspiration in Barnes’ approach to display and his attempt to make sense of form and creativity,” he muses. “Also, there’s the very real sense that the Barnes isn’t just a place you visit, it’s a total experience.”

Clayton’s deeply visual and sonic performance will continue to emphasize the Barnes’ commitment to artistic immersion and experience.

Performed in the Barnes Foundation’s Annenberg Court by an ensemble of over 12 musicians, it promises to show how one artist creates unity from diversity, and according to Mr. Bradford, “how an artist can make you more attentive and deepen your perception of the world.”

COLIN LODEWICK

Sept. 9, 8 p.m.

The Barnes Foundation 2025 Benjamin Franklin Parkway Philadelphia, PA $10; members $8. Includes collection access.

Room 21 has been supported

by The Pew Center for Arts & Heritage.

ARTS

SHAKESPEARE, SHAKESBEER

To beer, or not to beer, that is never a question.

On Sept. 11 at 7:30 p.m., City Tap House will present “Shakespeare @ the Bar,” a $5 production of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew by the Margo Jones Syndicate as a art of the Philly Fringe Festival. The show is expected to last around two hours, and patrons will receive a complimentary craft beer of their

choice.

Despite having spoken of and worked on the collaboration since May, the Margo Jones Syndicate will only be rehearsing the show once in the bar itself. The reasoning behind this minimal rehearsal process? “This is exactly how Shakespeare performed Shakespeare: He performed it

in a bar to drunk people!” said Amanda Virigili, the marketing coordinator at City Tap House (Ed. note: You'll probably need to give them more than one free beer).

Forget the elegant and almost religious productions and crowds depicted in Shakespeare in Love (fantastic movie, but no). Shakespeare’s

actors supposedly only got two rehearsals in which they briefly rehearsed the staging and dancing before facing the rowdy and drunk crowds of London, who would scream and laugh raucously, throwing rotten vegetables at the actors.

These productions of Shakespeare in bars aren’t uncommon in major cities around the US. In fact, Shakespeare in the Bar, a popular company in Dallas performing (you guessed it) Shakespeare in bars, just recently took an extended hiatus after seven productions. They themselves were inspired by a similar production in Chicago in 2014. Called a wide variation of Shakespeare @ the Bar (including Shakespeare at the Bar, Bard in the Bar, Bard at the Bar, etc.), these companies and ensembles perform Shakespeare in packed bars all over the world.

The Taming of the Shrew itself is one of Shakespeare’s comedies, and although it was believed to have been written sometime around 1590, it continues to be a beloved piece of literature all around the world. It inspired the

classic teen film, 10 Things I Hate About You, with iconic performances from Heath Ledger (RIP), Julia Stiles (bae of our hearts), a baby Joseph Gordon Levitt and Alex Mack (Larisa Oleynik).

Regardless, this will be one of the first times a similar show is produced in Philly, and it is sure to be an interesting experience. With City Tap House’s wide variety of IPAs, porters, stouts, wheats and sours, you’ll have ample opportunity to enjoy Shakespeare as it was originally enjoyed. When we asked Virgili what to expect from this show, she told us to “expect the unexpected. We really don’t know what to expect either, but I think it’ll be a great time.”

Pro tip from Amanda: Are you not 21, but eager to watch this sure to be hilarious show (and all the drunk people there)? Anyone over 18 but under 21 (or not drinking) will be able to watch the show for free, since the $5 goes towards the craft beer.

CLARIS PARK

SHAKESPEARE INVENTED THE FOLLOWING WORDS: LADYBIRD, SWAGGER, BEDAZZLED, ADDICTION. DO YOU LIKE WORDS, TOO? JOIN THE COOLEST GROUP OF BEDAZZLED LADYBIRDS ON CAMPUS TONIGHT AT 6:30 PM, 4015 WALNUT FOR OUR WRITER'S MEETING. BYO SWAGGER AND ADDICTION. S E P T E M B E R 8 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 17

LOWBROW

A BAIN COFFEE CHAT, TRANSCRIBED OCRing Student: Are you conducting the coffee chats from Bain? I was told to look for a hissing red creature with a pitchfork.

Bain Interviewer: Hello!

I am the representative sent from Satan Bain Capital. Why do you want to join Bain?

Student: Since I was three and completed my first Ponzi scheme through a lemonade stand investment firm, I’ve known that finance is my passion. But mostly it’s the only way my education will seem “worth it” in the eyes of my parents, fellow students and myself.

Bain: That’s all?

Student: I also have a lavish Instagram lifestyle that needs to be maintained.

Bain: Wow I really see a lot

of myself in you. What are your extracurriculars?

Student: I’m in a number of student consulting groups.

Consulting is my passion.

Bain: And where would I find you on a Saturday night?

Student: By then my battery is running pretty low for the week so I’m plugged into my incubus. My parents didn’t want a model that could charge remotely.

Bain: What do you do for fun?

Student: Fun? [student started shaking] Can you explain what you mean?

Bain: For example, I like to kick puppies and drink their tears.

Student: Oh, I understand now. Sometimes I oversee younger members of my

No employment opportunities were damaged in the recording and printing of this coffee chat.

business fraternity while they complete their first ritual sacrifice of the weakest brother.

Leadership and management are my passions.

Bain: Great! We’re looking for highly motivated young professionals just as yourself but we know everyone has a weakness, what’s yours?

Student: I never learned how to love. But that might be my greatest strength.

Bain: You’re telling me!

Now is there anything else you’d like to add?

Student: Synergy.

Bain: Amazing. I think you could have a bright future at

HONEYGROW: Is your guy having “male issues” again? Help your honey grow with this instant Viagra delivery service.

BYOCR: Stressed during OCR? A Wharton freshman eager to experience On Campus Recruitment early will bring you a shot of whatever you want in order to ease the stress of the craziest time in your life since PV.

Bain Capital. I hope to see you at our next networking event. We’ve recreated The Hunger Games arena, winner gets to go on a coffee chat with a slightly more senior employee. May the odds be ever in your favor!

PENN APPS: Apps for your strangest of appetites.

POKÉMON BLOW: Open a map on your phone and see where all that white magic is hiding. Fuck there’s a line outside Castle again.

list of all the dealers on campus.

All the dealers go through a highly intense screening process and all the sketchy ones are weeded out.

HeyyyDay: It’s like Tinder but only for booty calls. Everyone knows what three Ys mean. Don’t play dumb and ask me how I thought the econ quiz was.

SWEETGREEN02: Live–stream Amy Gutmann rolling in cash 24/7 in her mansion on Walnut.

SWEETGREEN01: Potheads of Pennsylvania unite for your one–stop–shop

SWEETGREEN03: Just by opening the app, a Kale Caesar gets instantly delivered to your apartment in the Radian.

1 8 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E S E P T E M B E R 8 , 2 016

LINKEDIN: We can see the 50 Shades of Grey you’re reading behind that Physics textbook. Find the other S&M bitches who like to get handcuffed just as much as you do.

GOOGLE JAPS: Jewish Geography taking longer than 30 seconds? Type

in your fellow Jew Yorker’s name and find instant results complete with both mutual friends and obligatory camp information.

GROUPME: A torture app completely funded by the CIA used for purposes of harassing innocent individuals with a myriad of notifications from different srat/ club/friendsfromhigh schoolyounevertalktoanymore groups.

LOWBROW

THE ESSENTIAL

GUIDE TO PENN'S CLUB FAIR

Without a Net: Penn’s premiere marine biology program that advocates for the rights of fish to swim the ocean blue without disturbance from fishermen.

Mask & Wig: Male undergrads mask their masculine insecurities by putting on female wigs further putting into question their sexuality.

MERT (Meth, Ecstasy, Ritalin Team): Penn’s most savage rage squad. Definitely call them if you’re too fucked up and they’ll show you a dope time.

Counterparts (originally Count Her Parts): Douchey frat boys take an anatomy art class in order to see naked women pose for class credit. And you guessed it. They count her parts. In harmony of course.

Penn Players: Also known as ANY MALE IN GREEK LIFE. Kite and Key: DJ Khaled fan club run exclusively by Theta, for Theta. What a KATchy name!

City Step/The Walk: Penn’s first and only club catered towards grooming Penn’s future legacy admits from the age of zero. City Step and The Walk partner together to teach young Quakers how to walk before they are biologically meant to learn. They need to be ready come application time.

OAX: A community service group. After 2015’s terrible Hurricane Meghan took down every Oak tree in the forest, a group of environmentally–conscious girls plant Oak seeds underground so that they can once again flourish among the other trees.

WHAT DOES LOWBROW HAVE IN COMMON WITH MOST ORGASMS, YOUR SIXTH GRADE "CAMP BOYFRIEND" AND YOUR OCR PROSPECTS?

Recess ain't Penn's only club.

Friars: A community for McDonald’s fry chefs.

NEC: Penn’s pre–med society focusing specifically on the neck and the benefits and consequences of hickeys.

Model UN: Hot but lonely? Go to Models United to be around more of your kind.

Oz: A warm, welcoming fraternity for males with a Dorothy fetish. There’s one with a Toto fetish but they don’t discuss it.

Illustrations by Gloria Yuen

There’s like a 50% Chance you’ll blackout (but we’re cool with that)

THEY'RE ALL NOT REAL.

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S E P T E M B E R 8 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 9

B AC K PAG E

NEXT YEAR'S LABOR DAY

CANCELLED A victory for student activism.

After a long weekend of arduous campaigning, social activist group OPennce Taken has succeeded in convincing the Penn administration to cancel Labor Day in the future on the grounds that it is exclusionary to people who don’t need to work for money.

“At a school like Penn, where so many people spend their summers on Nantucket and in the Hamptons, it’s really offensive and honestly just backwards to celebrate Labor Day,” said Kate Wilson (C ’18). Kate brought the issue to OPennce Taken after she experienced a microaggression on her first day of class.

“This girl mentioned that she spent her summer working in a restaurant because her financial aid was lowered,” Kate explained. Kate spent her summer sunbathing in the Hamptons and shopping in New York. “At least my summer made a contribution to the economy,” she said. “This girl was only working for herself.”

Greyson Smith (C ’17), who was also present for the microaggression, agreed. “I am offended,” he said.

And so Kate, along with a few friends and members of OPennce Taken, spent the hours of Labor

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Day leading up to Owls’ Battleship Brunch outside of Capogiro, Sweetgreen and The Radian asking students to sign a petition to end the observation of the holiday at Penn.

“We [OPennce Taken] are against all types of discrimination,” said President Ernesto Wens (C ’17).

“So our group protests indiscriminately, regardless of the type, level or validity of the offense.”

“The issue of Labor Day discrimination, for example, is one of those things that society has impressed on us so much that we needed someone like Kate to point it out to us before we could be offended,” he said. “It just goes to show that we all need to be on the lookout for things to be offended by at all times, lest we become acquiescent in offending others.”

“What really opened my eyes was the fact that we couldn’t even campaign outside of Metro because it was closed for the holiday,” said Courtney Abrams (C ’17), Vice President of OPennce Taken. “It’s exactly this kind of atavistic, outdated discrimination that OPennce strives to be outwardly offended by.”

Kate, who looks really good in white, also cited color discrimination in her petition as a reason for ending the holiday.

“The white rompers my friends and I wore on the Battleship looked fantastic, especially since we’re all still so tan from the beach this summer,” she said.

“Just look at my Instagram.”

“Imagine if we treated the color black the same way we treat white,” Jessica Goldberg (C ’17), Kate’s big, added. “Like, imagine what a catastrophe Theta date nights would be.”

“I just feel like all colors matter,” said Kate.

After a few hours of consideration, the Penn Administration decided to cancel the observation of the holiday in the future.

“Penn strives to provide a safe space for its students to voice their offense and find others who are equally offended, no matter what the offending matter at hand may be,” Provost Prince said. “I encourage any student currently suffering from offense to reach out to the various resources we have available.”

“Of course,” he added, “all of this information is available in Thrive at Penn.”