09.29.2016

September 29—October 12, 2016 34st.com

N E V A H O T Y A W R I A ST

PACES S G N I V I L ATIVE N R E T L A S OVIDE R P P O O SING C U O H N E V PENN HA

september 29

PAG E T WO

2016

LOL

3 HIGHBROW

state of the union, overheards, highbrow

5 WORD ON THE STREET

my female same–sex relationship

6 EGO

eotw: Araba Ankuma, Q &A with YungBenFranklin

LOL

8 TECH

pros and cons of the iPhone 7

12 VICE & VIRTUE

monogamy, sex shops, sex hazards, how to go out when you are sick

LOL

LOL

LOL

14 FEATURE

STREET ISN'T HAVING A WRITERS' MEETING TONIGHT, SO INSTEAD, DURING THIS TRYING TIME THAT IS OCR, LET US OFFER YOU SOME ADVICE ON WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS:

20 F&TV

1. IF YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE ABSOLUTE GENIUSES KNOWS HOW TO USE MICROSOFT WORD, THEN BY ALL MEANS, BRING IT UP.

penn haven

Adam Ruins Everything, Emmys politics

22 ARTS

POST review, Brooke O'Hara Profile

24 LOWBROW LOL

Interview with Trump's freshman year roommate

2. ENSURE THAT YOU TELL POTENTIAL EMPLOYERS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF, PARITCULARLY IN THE EVENT THAT THEY DO NOT HIRE YOU. 3. WRITE THE WHOLE THING IN PIG–LATIN TO DEMONSTRATE YOUR PROFIENCY IN A OREIGN–FAY ANGUAGE–LAY. 4. WRITE IT AS A MAD LIBS. EMPLOYERS ______ (VERB) WHEN YOU GIVE THEM ACTIVITIES TO DO! GOOD LUCK. LET STREET KNOW IF OUR TIPS WORK! TBH NONE OF US HAS EVER HAD A JOB SO WE'D LOVE TO KNOW.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief Mikaela Gilbert–Lurie, Managing Editor Giulia Imholte, Audience Engagement Director Jeffrey Yang, Design Director Remi Lederman, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director Genevieve Glatsky, Features Editor Orly Greenberg, Features Editor Mark Paraskevas, Supplemental Features Editor Dani Blum, Word on the Street Editor Julie Levitan, Word on the Street Editor Genny Hagedorn, Campus Editor Stephanie Barron, Culture Editor Emily Schwartz, Entertainment Editor Jack Cody, Humor Editor Sydney Hard, Music Editor Alix Steerman, Highbrow Beat Jackie Lawyer, Highbrow Beat 2

Mike Coyne, Ego Beat Liz Heit, Ego Beat Zoe Albano–Oritt, Music Beat Jamie Gobreski, Music Beat Olivia Fitzpatrick, Music Beat Colin Lodewick, Arts Beat Claris Park, Arts Beat Nick Joyner, Film & TV Beat Dayzia Terry, Film & TV Beat Caroline Harris, Tech Beat Aaron Kim, Tech Beat Haley Weiss, Vice & Virtue Beat Andreas Pavlou, Vice & Virtue Beat Katie Marshall, Lowbrow Beat Andrea Begleiter, Lowbrow Beat Nadia Kim, Design Editor Sofie Praestgaard, Design Editor Zack Greenstein, Design Editor Carissa Zou, Design Editor

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Gloria Yuen, Illustrator

Ramesh, Julie Chu Cheong

Alex Fisher, Photo Editor Julie Chu Cheong, Photo Editor Brinda Ramesh, Photo Editor Young Lee, Video Editor

Contributors: Olivia Corner, Cathy Shang, Angela Huang, Jen Jung, Sara Seyedroudbari, Aliya Chaudry, Michelle Shen

Sara Thalheimer, Copy Director Annabelle Williams, Copy Editor Morgan Potts, Copy Editor Kyler McVay, Copy Editor Perren Carillo, Copy Editor Sofia Price, Social Media Editor Sanika Puranik, Social Media Editor Staff Writers: Hallie Brookman, Hannah Noyes, Johanna Matt, & Amanda Rota Staff Photographers: Gian Paul Graziosi, Brinda

Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Alex Fisher, Brinda Ramesh and Julie Chu Cheong.

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief, at johns@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898-6585.

To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581. www.34st.com "I mean, we're not whittlers" ©2015 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

HIGHBROW

FALL STATE OF THE UNION Honestly, Harambe jokes should've been out by NSO.

over heard PENN at

IN

OUT

Sippin’ your tea even when you’re not minding your business.

Sandals that lace up to your knee. We get it, you had Center City Sips at 5 p.m. and then had to fight the gladiators at 6 p.m., but those days have come to an end.

Champ: I can’t believe I happy hour–ed for four hours.

Flyering on Locust. With colder weather we expect fewer flyering fanatics because no one likes to be ignored when the weather is nippy.

Kid with horsepower: I’m just really excited to throw a golf bag over my shoulder, you know?

“Fallin back.” Which doesn’t mean adding to the amount of school work we’ve been avoiding while still pretending it’s NSO. This type of backwards means shorter days and longer nights.

So, let the late nights commence.

Sweater weather. No shirt, no blouse.

Pumpkin spiced anything. At the exact second that one leaf changed color you know Starbucks brought back its menu with all the fall fixin's.

Breakfast. Now we’re all about break fast. That means repenting for your sins and then punctuating your day of fasting with a nice bagel and lox. It’s kind of counterintuitive, but seems to have really stuck.

Swell water bottles. They’re almost a little too effective at maintaining temperature but a burnt tongue never felt so trendy.

Plus who at Penn doesn’t love overpriced things?

Wake and bake (in the sun). You might not be laying out on College Green anymore, but you definitely don’t have to stop smoking it.

The Starbucks on 39th and Walnut Streets. You are the hero we didn’t know we needed.

Harambe. RIP. Not only to him but also the joke.

Fifth floor Van Pelt. We think it seems like a good place to spend a fall study session. There’s no real reason behind this, just like there was no reason for them to redo that one section of the entire floor. But, sometimes, you just gotta go with your gut.

THEROUNDUP While you guys were getting trumped up this weekend, we’ve been trickling down the deets. Some of you might think your weekends were almost as irrelephant as the debate, but like Hillary in a power pantsuit, you still managed to make yourselves look like a bunch of asses. Let it be known that Highbrow’s always watching, so unLes(ter) you have to, don’t put your recklessness on Holt.

Compared to the presidential race, the Class Board elections may seem completely unNECessary, but this year’s candidates made sure we wouldn’t be left (class) bored by their platforms. After being disqualified for promoting himself in the 2020 Facebook group, one future policy–breaker of America decided to put the Scandal in scandalous. Instead of choosing to run again next year, he opted to run up and down the halls of the quad drunkenly screaming “FUCK THE NEC” before face–planting into a plate of food. His “lack of temperament" definitely filibustered his chances at becoming the next cPOTUP (class President Of The

Texting. If iOS 10 hasn’t changed your form of communication into strictly hand written messages, then you’re definitely doing it wrong. You should either be sending at least ten heartbeats a day or re–evaluating your life.

University of Pennsylvania).

Freshmen weren't the only drunk idiots this weekend. Highbrow hears that one Sig Ep sophomore decided to break the Phirst rule of Phight Club this weekend by punching a brother of Phi in the chest after he and others were denied entry to their late night on Saturday. Luckily, the beat–up bouncer didn’t have to roll with the punches for too long, because a junior brother retaliated with a jab to the jaw. Although the fight involved more than just a blow to the ego, maybe this phearless frat star will learn to bring gloves next time he wants to “dance.”

After what we’d call the NSO pool party never toe be forgotten, we’re surprised Bamboo Bar even let a Penn affiliated group come back. Nonetheless, at SDT’s Bamboo Bar date darty, the pool problems resurfaced. A ZBT boy drunkenly polar plunged into the pool and hit his head. His blurry memory became a bloody one when the pool started to turn red. The security guard decided his behavior wasn’t kosher and kicked him out for pooling around. Maybe next time people will stick to dancing and not diving, but we doubt it.

SDT bounced back from getting bamboozled

Cartier bracelet snob: How come you don’t have three?

Smokes' music groupie: I feel like this is the kind of music they would play in Africa.

Honest comedian: I think queefs are so funny but also so scary.

and got straight down to business. At a TEP party, an SDT–TEP duo was found doing the dirty in the bouncy castle. These two lovebirds jumped into more than just fun when things started to get intimate. After figuring out that banging while bouncing isn’t a great mix, the two settled for a less bumpy “ride” and made their way to solid ground.

In an effort not to get Dave & Busted at Chi O date night on Friday, one sophomore who struck gold by finding a treasure box of wine snuck her date into the women’s bathroom where the couple took turns chugging and getting slap(the bag)happy. The sunset blushing pair then dazed and confusedly wobbled their way into the arcade and restaurant area of Dave & Buster’s––which was filled with the finest Philadelphia locals. The delinquent daters opted for boozin’ and snoozin’ instead of dining and dashing when they sat down in a booth and napped for a half an hour before coming to and continuing on with their evening.

Highbrow doesn't judge—sometimes we all need a power nap.

The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.

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WORD ON THE STREET

word on the STREET

MY FEMALE SAME–SEX RELATIONSHIP

On a cold, snowy night last January, I found myself waiting on the porch of a rowhouse on Spruce Street. It was the Friday of the weekend with that huge blizzard, and snow was already piling up inches deep on the street.

There were no other people out, or cars, and the streetlights cast a deep, warm yellow that the snow reflected onto everything. I felt like I was the only person on Earth. I had just come from a themed mixer and shivered in my senior year prom dress (it was emoji themed, and I was the red dress dancing girl). I wandered to the far edge of the porch, away from the door.

As I gazed out over the street, the large door creaked open, and I turned around to see her right behind me. She gave me a big hug and said, “Hey! I’m glad you’re here. Come inside.”

My girlfriend and I just celebrated our six–month anniversary. She also goes here, although she's a senior and I'm a sophomore.

In my experience at Penn, same–sex female couples are not common. I know and am friends with many queer men, but I only know a handful of queer women. I only know about one other same–sex female couple here. The way my girlfriend and I met and started hanging out was completely random and unlikely, but I'm so grateful for the way things turned out—not just because we managed to strike up a functional same–sex relationship, but because we managed to strike up a functional relationship at all. That, in itself, is pretty uncommon at Penn. Street recently printed an Overheard that said, “If you want a boyfriend that badly, then you should just transfer.”

There’s some truth to that.

When I came to Penn a year ago, I was happy to just participate in the hookup culture that Penn is known for. I figured that I was a freshman and shouldn't expect anything serious, but that I should keep an open mind.

Then second semester rolled around, and my relationship came with it. I’d never really dated a guy before, let alone a girl. I had no friends here who had ever been with another girl, and I had to discover how to go about our relationship as I went along.

But even though I had no other bi, gay or queer women to relate to my situation, I don’t

ZOE ALBANO–ORITT

think the rarity of our circumstances has impacted our relationship. Yeah, there don't seem to be a lot of openly gay women at Penn, but I wouldn't define that as a major difference or issue in my relationship. There are much more real, tangible differences between me and my girlfriend: she's an upperclassman, I'm not; she's an athlete, I'm not; I'm in a sorority, she's not.

These factors affect our relationship much more than the lack of a visible group of queer women on Penn's campus.

At a surface level, we’re the same as any couple on campus.

We struggle to find time together when we both have busy schedules. We cook dinner, we do work together, we go to parties together. And we fight about the same things as any other couple. I never really defined our relationship in the scope of “gay”. To me, a relationship has always been about connecting with one person. The fact that that person was a girl didn’t matter to me.

Of course, I'm immensely grateful for the fact that my group of friends is progressive and accepting, and that my sorority never batted an eye. I’ve never experienced any harassment, except occasionally if I'm out with my girlfriend at a party and we're kind of drunk, I'll hear a comment from some idiot boy behind me about how "hot" we are. Please, just let me enjoy my DFMO in peace. But if this is the

Please, just let me enjoy my DFMO in peace.

Illustration by Anne Marie Grudem

worst I'll experience about being in a same–sex relationship, then I definitely count myself as lucky.

Every day I think about how fortunate I am to have met someone who helps me be the best version of myself. Every relationship is a give and take, and in my experience, sexual orientation hasn't affected that. I'm just happy that I found someone to be with who makes me happy. She isn’t just my girlfriend—she’s my best friend, too. And for other girls at Penn who are looking for queer women, don’t be discouraged, because they’re definitely out there. If it happened for me, it can happen for you, too.

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EGO

GOING BEHIND THE MEMES: A Q & A WITH @YUNGBENFRANKLIN.

Delving into the world of Goldman Sachs offers, Cartier love bracelets and all things ostentatious and obnoxious at Penn, the yungbenfranklin Instagram is a cross between expert trolling and actual social commentary. The account, known for its Penn–centric and often Greek–centric memes, has garnered thousands of followers (4,215 to date) and spawned several copycat accounts. Ego decided to sit down with the student behind yungbenfranklin to get the full scoop on what it's like to run the account.

Street: Why did you start yungbenfranklin?

Yungbenfranklin: Well I didn’t really have much of a reason to start it when I started it. I started it during finals week last year.

And I’m a huge procrastinator... kind of the main way that I spend my time when I’m procrastinating is looking at other meme accounts, scrolling through like the fat jewish, etc.

And one friend I was in a study group with was kind of joking around that he thought I would be good at making memes.

Street: Why do you choose to stay anonymous?

YBF: I don’t really know why this is, but I think it would take away from the comedic value of it, if it was associated with a particular person. I don’t know why that is but that’s just part of it. Also I think it was kind of fun in the beginning and it still

is fun to hear different rumors about who it might be and people speculating about it. And also I have some controversial content on there so to be able to keep... to have creative freedom.

And not get kicked out of school.

Street: Are you surprised at all about how big a following the account has gathered?

YBF: Yeah, definitely, this is not at all what I expected. At first it was kind of just a diversion from finals in the beginning and it slowly grew.

Street: How do you get an idea of a meme and then create it?

YBF: It’s kind of different every time. Sometimes I’m supposed to be writing a paper, I’ll just spend several hours like generating concepts and brainstorming. I feel like this sounds like a pretentious meme account but

it’s usually a pretty organic process. I feel like I’m constantly meming in real–time, like just as I’m experiencing the more mundane things throughout my day.

Street: So the account is planning on making apparel.

Can you tell us a little more about that?

YBF: So I’ve always played around with Photoshop and graphic design as a side thing, and I don’t know, one day I kind

CAll John

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of just thought why not build off this hype and make some apparel. I’ve been working on some designs so... we’ll see how it goes.

Street: You mentioned this before, so do you think yungbenfranklin is controversial or has the potential to be?

YBF: For the most part I try to stay away from anything that can be incredibly controversial, especially the environment on college campuses right now can be somewhat restrictive. But I think that we’re all faced with all these different stresses and pressures, academically, socially, job–wise and I think sometimes we take everything too seriously. And now that there is a significant following, I have the opportunity to kind of make a joke or satirize something that I kind of... keeping light and keeping things funny. I don’t know, I mean I weighed in on the Oz conflict... which... and

you know I think that meme definitely got some negative feedback.

Street: What’s the future of the account? Do you plan on running it for a long time?

YBF: I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far in advance.

I think on a day–to–day my concern is just running out of content and then also balancing the absurd amount of time I spend meming with classes. I’m kind of living meme to meme right now. It’s like, now what?

What’s the next idea? So yeah, I haven’t thought that more like long term... There’s definitely friends that I consult with a lot and in terms of... I feel like there’s a lot of meme opps to finding the right wording or I’ll look for variations. But I have some people in mind that I could potentially pass it on to.

EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: ARABA ANKUMA

Whether she's on–stage or behind the camera, Araba Ankuma is always developing her artistic vision.

Read on as the Strictly Funk chair talks photography, black joy, and "Living Single."

Street: What are you involved in on campus?

Araba Ankuma: I’m chair of Strictly Funk, so that’s the dance company. I also work for the Black Cultural Center, MAKUU, as the creative fellow, so we’re actually developing a mural–type collage painting project that’s gonna go up over Homecoming. I used to be in Big Brothers Big Sisters if you count that as on–

campus. I’m in Friars Senior Society and Kinoki Film Society.

Oh, and I just signed on as full– time photographer for The Walk.

Street: And you have your own photography company?

AA: Yeah! I have my own business, well it’s my name: Araba S. Ankuma Photography.

I started photographing when I was in––I like to say officially eighth grade. That’s when I got my first DSLR camera, so 2008.

And I’ve been just shooting on my own. I created a website and people started hiring me for events and stuff so that’s been a really cool thing.

Street: Do you want to be a photographer?

AA: I’m trying to go off in life and be a photographer. I applied for a

Fulbright so I want to do documentary work. Not video but documentary photography work, and then have my editorial fashion summer class finance that other stuff.

Street: Do you have a dream editorial shoot that you ever want to do?

AA: I think dancers because they’re able to bend their body, models who have danced before or dancing people who look very model–esque, but like darker bodies. And going to places like New Zealand or the mountains in Thailand and doing clothing that’s very flowy in the mountains so you get different viewpoints. Sort of like an H&M–looking thing. I was talking to a professor about how some photographers just use a dilapidated space to enhance the beauty of the model and in doing that it objectifies both the model and the space and like cheapens the space. So I don’t ever want to do that. I really want to think about the settings and incorporate whatever it is. I Street: Can you talk a little bit about your involvement and progression with Strictly Funk?

AA: I’d danced in high school a little bit.

But I never had danced at this level where I was going to

INTERVIEW CONDUCTED BY MIKE COYNE AND LIZ HEIT

Name: Araba Ankuma Hometown: Falls Church, VA Major: Visual Studies Activities: Strictly Funk, The Walk, MAKUU, Big Brothers Big Sisters, Friars, Kinoki

master classes and things. And I’d danced culturally, like coming from West Africa, we dance. It’s what people do.

We dance, we party. That’s a lot of what West Africans––or not West Africans but Ghanaians––do. [It's] what we love to do. Coming to Penn, I went to auditions and I remember seeing them at FPAN before being kind of disappointed ‘cause I felt it wasn’t up to the standard I thought it was gonna be.

Street: Were you born in Ghana?

AA: No, I live in Northern Virginia and I grew up there, but I’ve been back to Ghana over six or seven times now. When I was 18 months, for example, I went there. They shipped me off with my uncle and I went to live there with my grandparents and that’s when I grew up. I think I was there for like a year or six months doing that. Another time I was there for three months, like, was going frequently until I got to around, 10, 11, 12, and I think that’s when we slowed down our visits because it’s expensive to travel across the Atlantic.

Street: What’s the most photogenic spot on Penn’s campus?

AA: I’m so tired of Penn’s campus—that’s a really hard question. I had a great shoot by the Schuylkill if you count that as being on campus, but that was also the time of day, the lighting, the clouds––there were a lot of different things that came together. Rooftops are really dope, so if I could get on one of the rooftops at like the Hub or one of the older apartments, those are dope.

Street: If you are what you eat, then what are you?

AA: Nachos, like the Mad Mex [kind]. Black beans and chicken

and the guac and peppers and cheese.

Street: What would you be infamous for?

AA: Changing the way people saw the world.

Street: There are two types of people at Penn…

AA: The ones who are here for themselves and the ones who are here for everyone else.

Street: Do you remember your first screen name?

AA: So, embarrassingly enough, it was QueenyLS6.

Street: What is LS? AA: I’ve never told anybody this, so embarrassing. So Queen Latifah was one of my role models at the time, let’s say middle school time. I was watching this show all the time that was called Living Single so queeny comes from Queen Latifah. She was the main character in Living Single and there were six characters in Living Single—I loved all of them. It was like the black Friends.

Street: What’s one question we forgot to ask you?

AA: How many places have you been? How many different countries have you been to? Just because this summer people actually thought I was studying abroad because I didn’t get here 'til August 21. September 1, people were like 'Where’s Araba?' because I had a lot of places I traveled to. So Ghana, the UK, Barcelona, Switzerland, Germany, France––very short trips for those two. Chile, Puerto Rico, Tobago, Jamaica, Canada.

I’m missing some I know it.

Cuba.

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COUNTABLE APP TECH

I love staying politically fired up as much as the next person, but the endless torrent of bills and amendments can be pretty overwhelming.

So when I heard about the Countable app, which helps people keep track of congressional legislation, I decided to check it out. Here’s what I found: When you first download the app, you can pick from a list of topics ranging from “Donald Trump” to “Abor-

tion” to (yes, this one is real) “Congress Shenanigans.”

Apparently Congress has been quite naughty. Here are the titles of a few articles covering their shenanigans: “Is it Bad to Watch Porn at Your Government Job—Just Asking For a Friend.”

“Should Congress Create a National Dance Day?” (These are the real issues.)

“Is Magic a ‘National Treasure’?” (So this is how Congress spends its time...)

Live music • Film • Dance • Theater Art • Education • Community September 29th The Gathering hip hop series Admission is $3 before 10 pm, $5 after 10pm 9:00 pm - 1:00 am September 30th & October 2nd Daniel Fishkin and Bowerbird Present Composing the Tinnitus Suites: 2016 A concert series about hearing damage 8:00 pm October 5th Poet-tree En Motion: Fall Harvest Flow & Fire Festivities!

7:00 pm The Bridge PHL Theatre Festival AngelPirate & Naked Feet Theatrical Productions 7:30 pm (October 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th) 2:00 pm (October 8th, 9th) As an alcohol-free/smoke-free venue, The Rotunda provides an invaluable social alternative for all ages.

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On the home button, you can see a bunch of bills that recently passed or are currently going through Congress, usually phrased as questions like “Why Isn’t Congress Fighting Zika?” If you click on it, it gives an overview of the bill and the reasons for and against it. Also, why isn't Congress fighting Zika? I have eight very scary bug bites on my leg…

You can select the state you’re from to see which Congressmen or women are from your state. You can see how your representative voted on each bill and send them messages (including videos!).

So if you have that friend who is always ranting about politics, this app is perfect for them.

Countable also has a social media component. You can click “Yea” or “Nay,” comment and endorse comments

Stay politically engaged with bills, amendments and constitutional shenanigans. made by other people. If you don’t participate, you have to see a very disappointed Ben Franklin every time you open your profile. As if the piss on his bench weren’t insulting enough.

They also have some educational articles like “How Do

Political Polls Work? Here’s How to Tell If They’re Crap” or more opinionated blog posts such as “North Korea Launches Big, Fifth Nuclear Test.

What Should the U.S. Do?”–– which features a great photo of Kim Jong–un’s giggling.

MICHELLE SHEN

iOS 10 BREAKDOWN

TECH

We're mostly excited about the emojis.

On Tuesday, September 13, Apple released its iOS 10 update. At first I was confused—what was wrong with iOS 9, exactly? Then

I saw the new emojis and everything was okay. Gender diverse emojis aside, here's everything you need to know about iOS 10:

Siri's different Siri and her awful, metallic voice creep me out. Siri now integrates third–party apps (like Uber, calls and messaging) which is supposedly "smart" and "groundbreaking" but until Siri is a soothing British man calling me Beyoncé, I don't buy it.

notes, reactions, audio clips and external media. You can use screen effects to light up the other person's screen with shooting stars, balloons, confetti, lasers and fireworks. I now have so many more ways to spam people.

Brilliance adjustment, facial recognition and a markup feature... Redesigned Maps but VSCO's still better.

The navigation view, pins and locations are much clearer, Memories in Photos plus now Maps connects to Your phone collects your photos ride–sharing apps and restaurant and videos, assembles them into apps (Ed. note: We're still loyal to collections and creates nostalgic Google Maps though).

"Memory Movies."

WTF is a widget Lock screen and notificaiMessage EXPLODED Redesigned Apple MuApparently widgets give you a tions The emojis are cuter and more Now you have to use the Touch sic: preview of what's in your apps three–dimensional. There's a (traffic conditions, weather ID and home button instead of Apple Music's become more GIF keyboard and drawing tool. sliding to unlock. organized and easier to use, but reports and g–cal reminders) but You can send oversized emojis, people still prefer Spotify.

I've never seen anyone use one. kisses, heartbeats, handwritten New photo editing tools

DOES ANYONE ELSE GET NERVOUS WHEN USING EMOJIS WITH SOMEONE YOU'VE ONLY RECENTLY STARTED TEXTING? LIKE, WHAT IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN WHEN I RESPOND TO YOUR QUESTION WITH THE TOMATO EMOJI? WHAT IF YOU STILL USE THE CRYING CAT WHEN CLEARLY THAT WAS A 2015 THING?! SO NERVE WRACKING.

Anyway, now they're more accessible and refined.

Bedtime and Wake alarm You can customize your sleep schedule, track your sleep cycle, choose your wakeup song and set a separate alarm volume.

There's also a dark interface so you aren't blinded by the light.

Dude, where's my car?

Wonder no more, now Siri will tell you exactly where you parked.

CAROLINE HARRIS

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TECH

PROS AND CONS OF THE iPHONE 7 Last Friday will forever be remembered as the day I entered the twenty–first century. On that day I ventured to 16th and Walnut Streets and bought myself an iPhone 7. My friends breathed a sigh of relief—now I could pass for a semi– functional human being. Before, I had an iPhone 5 named Brick. Brick

PROS

wouldn't let me download apps or use Uber. Brick died whenever I was drunk, alone or in danger.

During freshman Fling I saw my life flash before my eyes. I was at Qdoba with a suspicious soldier named Kegan and couldn't find my way back to King's Court. Brick flashed low battery as I waited for

Display

nine friends to come collect me.

Brick died as I crouched behind a condiments counter hiding from my stalker.

What's past is past. I blocked Kegan and now own a rose gold iPhone 7 named Petunia.

Here are some of her many perks:

Improved battery life

The iPhone 7 comes with a wide color retina HD dis- The iPhone 7's battery lasts two hours longer than play. I have no idea what that means but everything's the iPhone 6's. Two more hours to beg your friends much prettier and clearer. to pick you up from Qdoba.

Bigger and better camera Waterproofing and Dust Because selfies are the art form of our generation.

Resistance More efficient processor

You don't have to wait as long to refresh Instagram.

If you drop your phone in the Schuylkill and then take it to Coachella, it has a greater chance of survival.

It comes in jet black

Sleeker design

Hotter than David and Victoria Beckham's children.

Sceney.

Better speakers

More memory

So when you're listening to Amine's "Caroline" on repeat you can hear every last word.

To store all those selfies, duh.

CAROLINE HARRIS

CONS

I’m against Apple’s constant need to change and upgrade.

I don’t want my phone to get any bigger. I already have trouble fitting my iPhone 5S into my pocket. Phones contain an entire lifetime’s worth of information, so they should be durable, not built to break or built to become obsolete and replaced in a year. We

don’t need to constantly update our technology. Apple makes so many changes each year.

They were bound to run out of good ones.

Here are some of the new iPhone's many faults: (Ed. note: Notice how much longer the cons are.)

Stereo speakers

As if our ears aren’t assaulted with unwanted annoying pop music enough times a day. And wouldn’t using your phone at such a high volume just exhaust the battery even quicker? Defeating the purpose of getting rid of the headphone jack to make way for a larger battery? I'm just saying.

Tiny adapter

If you want to use anything bedsides Apple headphones, you need this. As if you didn’t have enough trouble finding your headphones already, now there’s a tiny piece you need in order to use them.

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Headphones that basically don't exist

In the time it’s taken me to read the words “iPhone 7”, I’ve already lost my headphones.

And so have you. And so has Apple. And we’re never going to get them back. Yes, the new wireless AirPods (that you have to pay an extra $150 for) are never going to get tangled, but you’re also never going to see them. They’re just two tiny little pieces of plastic with nothing to tie them together.

They’re not even anchored to your ear— won’t they just fall out? My headphones fall out of my ears every now and then but at least they’re connected to each other and to my phone—if an AirPod falls out there’s no knowing what’ll become of it. I can’t tell you how many times my headphones have saved my phone or iPod from plummeting to an unfortunate end. And did I mention you also have to keep charging the AirPods? Good luck, everyone!

No headphone jack

Apple has removed the headphone jack in order to make way for a larger battery—an aggravating move that has resulted in some unfortunate consequences.

No home button It's not a flat surface.

Not really that water resistant

The Samsung Galaxy S7 is better. Take that, Apple.

ALIYA CHAUDHRY

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allowed allowed allowed to choose to choose to more choose more moredles makes makes makes sense. sense. sense.

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BY BY BYTHE THE THE NUMBERS NUMBERS NUMBERS

34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011 34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011 34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011

HOW TO GO OUT $153,701 $153,701 $153,701 WHEN YOU'RE SICK $196,136 $196,136 $196,136

$295,344 $295,344 $295,344

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*A*A*A simple simple simple random random random sample sample sample of of 100 of 100 100 Penn Penn Penn undergrads undergrads undergrads were were were Illustration by Sofie Praestgaard surveyed surveyed surveyed to to collect to collect collect data data data about about about Do: Drink a lot of water. their their their film film fiviewing lmviewing viewing habits. habits. habits.

Hydrate throughout the day, and drink warm things like tea with honey or broth–based soups.

Don't:Load up on drugs.

Cough medicine, cold medication, antibiotics and pain relievers do not mix well with alcohol, and have some pretty threatening side effects (especially to your already messed–up liver).

These include Tylenol, Advil, DayQuil, NyQuil and their generic counterparts. If you do have to take medication and plan to drink, make sure you follow the guidelines on the box.

Do: Relax before you go out. If you want to rally to your fullest sick potential, you're going to need all the energy you can get. Take a power nap and chill before you start throwing back drinks.

Don’t: Smoke. If your voice already sounds like you’ve been chain–smoking Newport 100s for 50 years, what do

*$12.50/ticket *$12.50/ticket *$12.50/ticket at the atatthe Rave theRave Rave *$3.99 *$3.99 *$3.99 to rent totorent arent movie a amovie movie on on iTunes oniTunes iTunes you think you’ll sound *$7.99/month *$7.99/month *$7.99/month on on Netflix on Netflix Netflixlike

after a hit from your friend's boyfriend’s poorly–rolled joint? Plus, just because they share their weed with you doesn’t mean you have to share your diseases with them.

Do: Take it easy. Nobody will even remember you skipping out on that tenth shot.

Don’t: Be a party pooper.

Chances are your friends will know that you’re sick, but you don’t have to keep reminding everyone. Remember to have a good time (that’s why you came out, right?) and be good company.

Do: Eat citrus fruits and spicy foods. Citrus fruits will help build your immune system and are full of Vitamin C. Spicy foods are great for decongesting and clearing sinuses.

Don’t: Spread your sickness. Nobody wants to catch a cold from partying. Handle pulls, keg stands, shared drinks and DFMOs should be avoided at all costs.

w

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F E AT U R E

F E AT U R E

Penn Haven housing co–op provides alternative living space. by Dani Blum The co–op used to be a frat house.

From the outside, the Victorian structure on Woodland Terrace looks like it could host throbbing techno music and shouts of beer–breathed conversations. Instead, the sprawling, paint–chipped porch stays silent. Bikes lean against the walls. In the back, chairs circle a brick fire pit beside a patch of unruly plants that some members want to turn into a garden.

Once you step inside, though, it’s clear the co–op is a world apart from the buildings that line Locust Walk.

“Welcome to Penn Haven Housing Co–op!” a markered sign reads across from the door.

Black and white photographs of student protests are taped to the walls.

In one, students swell the area outside of Van Pelt; the crowd swallows the library.

“International Student Strike,” one is captioned. The wall beside a narrow staircase crams with painted figures: birds, amoebas, a female gender symbol with a fist in the center. A sign printed high on the wall of the living room reads: “In 2011, approximately 248 million turkeys were slaughtered in the US, and 35 percent of perfectly–edible turkey meat produced was thrown out.”

For the ten students who stay within these walls, where they live is more than the space they inhabit. The co–op is part of who they are.

Penn Haven defines itself as “a non–hierarchical consensus–driven, anti–oppressive living community.”

It’s important that the residents share the same values—social justice, sustainability and, perhaps above all, “cooperative thinking.” The co–op is a commune designed to be an alternative to the rest of Penn—an oasis for different thinkers who might otherwise feel lost on campus.

The co–op was founded in 2011 by a group of students who were frustrated

by Penn’s dominant culture. A co– founder told the DP in 2010 that she

wanted Penn Haven to combat Penn’s “culture of complete misogyny” and “culture of excessiveness—sexuality, alcohol, greed and never wanting to stop.” Today, Penn Haven remains a secluded space, anchored more in West Philly than in Penn itself.

As Ella Konefel, a sophomore who moved into the co–op a month ago, says, “You’ve got Penn, you’ve got the main attitude at Penn that demands so much and then there are these pockets that go against the rest of it. And the pockets are dope.”

in on–campus housing; Berenice Leung (C '17) wanted a space she could feel comfortable in, but was also really drawn to the house’s system of communal cooking.

“It’s out of the mainstream Penn culture,” Peter Thatcher (C '17) says.

“I was looking for something different.

And it attracts a certain kind of person.”

He slurps a spoonful from the bowl in his lap—a stew of tofu, cabbage and lima beans, cooked for him earlier that night by one of the residents.

Ella heard about the co–op while at a house concert in West Philly. She

was excited by the idea of living with students in different grades—she had Penn Haven’s residents stem from all taken a gap year and lived in Mexico by across campus. They are members of herself, and after that, “It just felt weird Greek life and leaders of environmental living with only 18–year–olds,” she says. groups; they are engineers and sociology “It was a leap of a thing to do,” she says. majors. When they moved into Penn “You go to live with these people, and Haven a month ago, most of them nobody really knows anyone at the start. didn’t know It’s really each other. cool.” For The co-op is a commune The Ella, the decision designed to be an alterna- difference to live in a between tive to the rest of Penn— co–op seems the co–op radical, but and the an oasis for different for some rest of thinkers who might other- Penn lies residents, the choice in what wise feel lost on campus. was based on people convenience prioritize. more than anything else. Emily Vo, a “It’s kind of unusual for Penn,” she says. junior in Engineering, stumbled into “Not that many people are focused on Penn Haven almost by accident. “I was having this sort of purposeful lifestyle, having trouble finding pet–friendly like, I want to live this certain way, let’s housing,” she says. She found out that really do that.” she could keep her dog at Penn Haven, For some residents, though, the and then learned more about what desire for an accepting community led the co–op stood for. “The sense of them to Woodland. Ava Dagostino, a community was surprising,” she says.

College senior who uses they/them or “And I like sustainability, I like the idea she/her pronouns, said she came to the of meeting new people.” Annie Bennett co–op because, “None of my housing (C '17) came to the house because, aside experiences in the last three years were from wanting to live in a community good. They ranged from okay to bad, with shared values, she didn’t like the and most of them were bad.” Ava had idea of a randomly–assigned roommate friends who lived in Penn Haven, and

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figured it “seemed like a nice place.”

Importantly, the co–op would be trans– friendly.

Nancy is new to the co–op this year. “I was introduced to Penn Haven through a friend, and she’s also a queer woman of color,” Nancy says. Her septum piercing glints in the dim light. “I wanted an inclusive space, and I shared the values—I like sustainability, I like the culture of social activism. It feels very inclusive and very accommodating.” She laughs. “Oh, and I like cooking. Add that.”

Penn Haven revolves around food.

The co–op has an organized system of cooking meals. They buy bulk foods and order huge boxes of produce from local farms; they stick to a schedule of two people cooking per night. All the meals are vegan.

The kitchen looks like something out of suburbia—huge, tiled, pristine—only the contents of the kitchen table give away that this is a home for college students. On a Saturday morning, the kitchen table is cluttered with pepper, Himalayan pink salt, a bottle opener, glasses with the crusted remnants of wine or juice, the sports section of the DP, a textbook on political theory, a case for Beats headphones and a dried sponge. The wood shelves swell with boxes of tea, jars of cocoa powder, cans of oats. Cookbooks cram the shelves.

Glittery nail polish sits next to a family– sized box of Cheerios.

The walls across from the kitchen table are decorated with stapled leaves and painted signs. One reads, “Unsafe jobs are not okay! We want this to end today.” Beside it, in blue and red marker, another says, "Sweatshops kill."

It’s in this space that the residents transition from housemates to friends.

Mealtimes are when Penn Haven residents come together.

“I really like the process of gradually, with no pressure, just getting to know people,” Ella says. “It’s not going to happen all at once, but there are these little chunks of time when we’re eating together, we can just talk. The kitchen is a grounding space.”

At 9:15 p.m. every Sunday night, the co–opers assemble in the living room for their weekly meeting. They plop on the couches and against the stools; some sit cross–legged on the floor. Tonight, Annie is leading the meeting. They go around the circle, responding to her prompts: 1) How are you doing? And 2) Did you do your chore for this week?

When they’ve all had their turn, the group looks around, staring at each other. Who’s the Shepherd for this week? They whisper to each other.

Wait, hold on, the newer members whisper to each other, What’s the Shepherd again?

The Shepherd is the designated co–op member who calls on people when they raise their hands. The Shepherd rotates from meeting to meeting; they check a Google doc to find out whose turn it is this week.

Then they launch into the agenda items. First up: Their doorbell’s broken. Do they want to file a maintenance request? After discussing the issue for five minutes, they raise their hands to vote. They’ll put in a request.

They cycle through other issues–– the basement partially floods when it rains (“It’s kind of creepy at the moment,” Berenice says. “Last year, they had a seance there”), fixing the insulation previously held together by plastic wrap. The main discussion point of the night, though, is the upcoming housewarming party. They spend forty minutes discussing, and then voting, on every element that goes into a party: What time do they want to start? (“We don’t want it to turn into a rager,” they agree. “We don’t want people to go to other things first and show up tipsy,” Annie adds.)

Should they have it in the living

Ella Konefel and Berenice Leung room? In the kitchen? With a fire pit outside? (If they have a fire pit, they smile at each other, they can make s’mores. But can they make sure the s’mores are vegan? Berenice says she once went on a Philly–wide food tour to find honey–less graham crackers; she knows a store on 43rd and Walnut Streets.)

Who’s going to make the Facebook event? Who should they invite? (Close friends, they decide. “It’ll be good for social cohesion to meet each other’s people,” Peter says.)

The dog scampers up and down the stairs as they talk, at one point trailing along the edge of the couch.

Should they buy alcohol as a co–op?

(Berenice found a handle of vodka while cleaning the living room today.

They’ll buy more.)

Will they get disposable cups?

Should they have bottles of beer, or mixed drinks—which is better for the environment?

When will they clean the house, as a group?

By the end of the discussion, the co–opers are slumped low in their seats. They run through their last agenda items quickly: updating their website, getting communal access to their email account. They struggle with where to buy airtight

food containers (“They’re cheapest at Walmart,” Annie says, “But personally, I don’t like Walmart as a company”).

By the end of the meeting—their checkout questions involve how they felt the meeting went and what they’re doing for themselves in terms of self–care—the group looks around sheepishly.

“I guess we’re done?” they say.

Ella walks her bike back from breakfast at the Green Line Cafe in time to complete part of her chores for the week. She’s already cleaned the bathroom; her role today is to take a peeling green bucket of compost to the composting facility at 43rd and Pine Streets. The trek to 43rd Street is out of her way—she has a lot of work to do, and she’ll spend the rest of the day holed up in Van Pelt. But she doesn’t mind.

“It’s nice to be able to contribute what you can,” she says. She looks over her shoulder at the house, smiles.

“It’s worth it.”

Dani Blum is a junior in the College studying English and Political Science. She is from Ridgefield, CT and is one of the Word on the Street editors for Street.

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VICE & VIRTUE

A GUIDE TO PHILADELPHIA'S SEX SHOPS Prepare to stare down a lot of dildos.

MOST LIKELY TO END IN MOST CONVENIENT: The Pleasure Chest at 2039 Walnut St. INJURY: Passional Toys at 317 South St. The Pleasure Chest is 1) con-

Basically Urban Outfitters if it sold really fancy pearl–studded vibrators. Everything is kept inside glass cases, and I was asked to leave my bag at the front while I browsed—apparently I look like someone who would steal velour lined handcuffs. (C’mon, I’d def pay for those.) This is certainly not the place to go if you want to run in and out without talking to anyone or being seen.

Besides many LELO vibrators (if you don’t know, these are very expensive!!) VL also sells many bralettes and undies that I swear can be found at Urban, but here they’re three times the cost. I was feeling very watched and decided to leave when the lady behind the counter saw me looking at the gold trimmed sex swing hanging from the ceiling.

Bang for Your Fuck: 2/5

MOST INVITING STAFF:

(Most Likely to Share too Much About Their Sex Lives) Danny’s Midnight Confessions Leather, Lingerie & Exotic Novelties at 133 S 13th St.Walnut St. Danny’s (we’re on a first name basis) is located in the heart of the Gayborhood and open 24 hours for when you need an emergency pair of backless, crotch–less, strap–on compatible underwear at four in the morning. Though its extensive and brightly colored boxer brief selection may not (birthday) suit some, anyone can shop at Danny’s. Beyond the proverbial cock rings, dildos and lube, Danny’s also carries an assortment of erotic magazines and DVDs. Danny’s used to have what sex connoisseurs call an Arcade (long hallway with coin–operated booths off either side featuring different themed videos), but it was shut down due to “just not enough demand” sparked by a change in the neighborhood’s population in recent years. (*moment of silence for the generation willing to pay for porn*) How did they clean these? Just like anything else––with a mop and Windex to wipe the screens.

Bang for Your Fuck: 4/5

veniently located near Trader Joe’s in case you want to make a pit stop during your next grocery run and 2) stocked full of an assortment of toys, gag gifts and useful sex paraphernalia which seem appropriate for college culture.

The overall décor is just pink enough that you won’t feel like you’ve walked into a sex dungeon, but not too pink— don’t worry boys, you’ll fit right in (pun intended). The shop’s most outstanding feature is the tray of free bottled water and Salted Caramel warming lube located by the front door. Its New York store was featured in an episode of Sex and the City, so stop on by to channel your inner Carrie Bradshaw! Their

mission statement proclaims that “everyone has a fundamental right to pursue sexual fulfillment,” and they have been fostering a positive environment for cis and LGBTQ sex–lovers since 1971. As one of the first stores to turn a sex shop into a

boutique experience, Pleasure Chest knows what they’re doing. I promise whatever you’re looking for you’ll find it here.

And you will definitely leave with pockets stuffed with Salted Caramel lube.

Bang for your fuck: 4.5/5

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VICE & VIRTUE

IN DEFENSE OF MONOGAMY From a reformed fuckgirl.

It’s been three years since Kate Taylor wrote her infamous piece on hookup culture at Penn. And by the way, she describes hooking up is a “functional strategy for today’s hard–charging and ambitious young women, allowing them to have enjoyable sex lives while focusing most of their energy on academic and professional goals.” I’m breaking all the rules, and going up against the odds. That’s right. I have... a boyfriend. And I have answers to MOST of your complaints about monogamy.

Being in a relationship in college actually has lots of benefits.

THE COMPLAINT: “I have FOMO, and being in a relationship will hold me back from having fun, going out and singing on stage with Kweeder.”

THE RESPONSE: What has changed fundamentally is once you get over your FOMO, you can allow yourself to have fun without trolling for D the whole night. Plus, being a SWUG is made so much easier with a boyfriend—less effort!

THE COMPLAINT: “Penn is a coven of fuckboys.”

THE RESPONSE: What may begin as a fuckboy may not always end as a fuckboy. People grow up, and my current main hoe (aka boyfriend) is someone I went home with on the first date and was a senior boy when I was a freshman girl. He was someone who ghosted me, and I, in turn, ghosted him.

At the end of the day there was a reason we kept coming back to each other.

THE COMPLAINT: “I’ll get tired of hanging out with the same person every day.”

THE RESPONSE: Relationships are constant work but in the best way possible. Learning more about the other person and having someone genuinely care about you other than your mom and pets is probably like, the greatest thing ever.

THE COMPLAINT: “Relationships, love and monogamy are gross.”

THE RESPONSE: I’m sorry, but are we eight years old? I’ll be the first to admit I can be a heartless bitch, hate cuddling and have actually vomited while seeing a couple engaging in some PDA. Granted, I was hungover, but the mere thought of people being loving was enough to make me vom. But when you actually are in love with someone, you’re willing to compromise. Like, hey, I’m not into the whole FB–official thing but making someone else happy feels amazing.

THE COMPLAINT: “My person will change who I am.”

THE RESPONSE: I define my college experience by the relationships I’ve made—from my first love who taught me how to be independent on my own, to my liver that I’ve subjected to way too many gin and tonics, to my best friends who have helped me find my lost keys too many times to count. But I wouldn’t be the person I am without them. Relationships change you in the ways you let them. And hey, don’t like your relationship? You can always break it off.

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Illustration by Sofie Praestgaard

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FILM & TV

But you already knew the election was a goddamn mess.

Adam Conover has taken a break from finding the silver lining in the things you hate and finding fault with everything you love to hit the road. In his 15–city American tour, the J. Crew–styled Adam Ruins Everything star will be making a slight departure from his usual debunking of popular false ideas. He attempts to answer a pressing question in this heated debate

blue divide in America.

"The show takes the form of a sort of hour–long comedy TED Talk," Conover explains.

He runs the entire hour–long performance from a Keynote presentation, interlaid with video, audio and meme–y visuals. The crowd filled out the Trocadero Theater as he launched into an examination of the nasty turn that this election has taken.

season: Is this the craziest election of all time? He looks to history for answers in his traveling show, attempting to shed light on previous presidential trash talking, the role of women in past political affairs and the growing red–

In the short time of his presentation, he presents evidence from the last 57 presidential elections and the candidates that won to put our current electoral plight into perspective. As he explains, there was that time during

the election of 1800 that Jefferson hired a journalist to write that "Adams has a hideous hermaphroditic character" in the newspaper.

And LBJ was known for talking about his penis size and even daring to show it off to colleagues, hearkening to the Donald's own need to talk about his sad, wrinkly package.

APUSH– esque factoids and footage of George Wallace also reveal that he dealt in the same politics of fear and hate. It's almost as if we shouldn't be surprised that the Annoying Orange is running for president with such close temporal proximity

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to outright segregationists.

In his first proper tour since his collegiate comedic runs, Adam also attempts to debunk some of the enthusiasm surrounding the historical significance of Hillary Clinton as the first female major party nominee for president.

He points to Edith Wilson's essential puppeting of her husband after his stroke, and both the United States' historical and present failure to elect women to positions of national prominence.

But then Adam turns the lens back onto the candidates who ran for the nomination and lost this year, and the rhetoric that has prevailed in the 2016 election. In reality, not even Bernie can cast himself as an outsider having worked in Washington for a significant portion of his political career, and Jeb and

Ted most certainly can't even gesture towards a title like this one. Trump, if elected, would be the only president who ever has not first held elected office or had military experience.

If Adam ruins anyone, it's the American people. He calls out the audience for the harsh and widening partisanship, and ignorance of local politics and the unseen role that money plays in it. Above all, he wants citizens to have more meaningful conversations about how history has informed our current election and wants to inspire more discourse. Put succinctly, he explains: "It's all about blowing peoples' minds and making them laugh with facts."

NICK JOYNER

FILM & TV

THE EMMYS OR THE DNC?

DALTON DESTEFANO

How award shows have become a political battleground.

Award shows are the ultimate pop culture conglomerate.

There’s high fashion on the red carpet, celebrity appearances, surprise upsets and snubs, hosts making Hollywood in–jokes and people reacting on Twitter all the while. Far more than just a celebration of film, television and music, events like the Emmys, the Oscars or the Grammys have become shared cultural experiences. Anyone who has religiously followed all of these awards shows has been able to observe their rapid politicization over the past few years. Winners now spend less time stuttering hurried thank yous and instead come with articulate orations about social

and political issues facing our society today. In 2014, Beyoncé accepted the VMA Video Vanguard Award with a 16–minute medley of her self–titled fifth album. During the song “Flawless,” she stood in front of the word “Feminist” in bold, white letters against a black screen.

In 2015, Patricia Arquette accepted her Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Boyhood and implored America to fight for women’s wage equality. At

that same Oscars ceremony, speeches were given in support of the Black Lives Matter movement, immigration reform and removing the stigma from mental health issues.

At this year’s Emmys on September 18, winners took their speeches as opportunities to endorse their politicians of choice. Courtney B. Vance (winner for Best Lead Actor in a Limited Series) ended his speech by crying, “Obama out, Hillary in!” and Jill Soloway (winner for Best Director in a Comedy Series) used an interview backstage to call Donald Trump an “inheritor to Hitler.”

Though the awards were handed out just over two weeks

ago, the impassioned messages of these acceptance speeches will reverberate throughout the remainder of election season.

The act of accepting an award is a fascinating prospect—you have around 90 seconds to say whatever you want to the entire American public in real time, so it’s no surprise that celebrities have started to use it to push their political agendas.

Additionally, the exponential growth of social media provides

an even bigger megaphone for these stars. Collective experiences like award shows make the public flock to social networking sites—for example, when Leonardo DiCaprio won Best Actor at the 2016 Oscars, over 440,000 tweets were being sent out per minute. With everyone from reporters to moms from middle America tweeting and Facebooking their thoughts on the show, a single quote, speech or moment can catch traction online and become the top headline of the night (and be seen by millions of new people in the news the next morning).

Though political statements during award shows have recently become commonplace, this celebrity soapboxing has been limited to the past few years. Perhaps the boldest awards show political statement ever came in 1973, when Marlon Brando won the Academy Award for Best Actor for his performance in The Godfather.

Brando, a fervent advocate for civil rights, declined the award, instead sending Sacheen Littlefeather, a Native American activist, to accept it for him.

Littlefeather—dressed in traditional Apache clothing—faced a blend of applause and boos from the crowd as she delivered a sobering speech on Brando’s behalf decrying the treatment of Native Americans by the film industry and the American government. This speech led to the Academy’s creation of a rule banning award recipients from sending someone else to the

podium on their behalf.

The award show speech has become a platform where winners feel almost obligated to take a stance. So do these speeches make any difference? In a culture where we have countless messages and advertisements telling us what to think, does a quick speech from a well–known actor or performer have the power to influence our beliefs? In the echo chamber that is Hollywood, these progressive ideas may be conventional, but the real power of award shows is their universality—everyone in America wants to watch Leon-

ardo DiCaprio win his Oscar.

These nights can serve as a tool to expose the whole country to new and essential ideas, especially during an election year, when these things really matter.

In this political atmosphere, it is increasingly important for college students to watch award shows. They may be drawn out, stuffy and subjective, but they show Cate Blanchett talking about feminism and Leonardo DiCaprio talking about the environment. They have become pieces of the national political conversation, and that is something college students simply cannot miss.

ATTN WORLD: STREET IS BOYCOTTING ALL AWARDS SHOWS UNTIL THE BEES ARE SAFE. S E P T E M B E R 2 9 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 2 1

ARTS

BROOKE O'HARRA: CONCERNING THE POLITICS

The newest faculty member in the Theatre Arts Program and her experimental work featuring all–lesbian towns, punk Samurais and eight–hour performances.

AND FORM OF THEATRE

When Street first sat down with Brooke O’Harra, the newest faculty member of the Theatre Arts program, O’Harra suggested meeting outside of the Annenberg Center instead of the theatre arts office within the building itself. ” As a graduate of Tulane University’s MFA program in directing, she has juggled her roles as an experimental theatre director and professor for quite a while now. She taught at Bates College and NYU, until she and her partner, Sharon Hayes, an associate professor of Fine Arts at Penn, moved to Philly with their daughter.

“For us, Philly is a really nice city, because you can’t kind of escape the politics,” she said, “I love New York... but you spend so much time surviving that it’s hard to be an impactful or generous citizen or an activist, and I feel like that’s a really important part of our identities. In Philly, you

can have a little more choice in your life choices and property, and money spending, and community and be politically engaged, and it’s a better way for me to live in the world.”

While O’Harra actively tries to be socially and politically conscious in her personal life and choices, she has also accidentally engaged in the political with her work as well. Between 2008 and 2011, O’Harra produced, directed, co–wrote and acted in Room for Cream, a 27–episode serial produced by the Dyke Division of the Theatre of the Two Headed Calf, the theatre company she co–founded with Brendan Connelly in 1999.

She describes it as a “live lesbian soap opera.”

Taking place in the fictional town of Sappho, MA, the play featured a cast of 12 main actors who played lesbians (even if the actor was male), and invited famous gay

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politicians or actors to guest star in different episodes.

“It became immediately clear that there was this intense desire from the audience for this show to exist, and also this intense ownership,” O’Harra said.

By engaging in the political through comedy, O’Harra and the Dyke Division allowed for the audience to engage in a political topic themselves.

The serial tackled a lot of the nuanced issues that the queer community was concerned about, and it relied on the audience’s opinion and influence to help inform the politics of the play itself.

In the last episode, O’Harra’s character was to “gay marry” another character, and the

CLARIS PARK

writers of the show reached out to audience members to ask for their opinion on gay marriage, something which is debated in the queer community as both a victory and a conformation of the queer community into the mainstream.

“It had a kind of inside quality, that we were unashamed of, like it was unabashed. It was like a new norm,” she explained, Throughout her career, O’Harra has continued to explore how audiences interact with a performance, or as she describes it, how “audiences and crowds make meaning and as a maker/speaker, how you engage their imagination, or their power by not dictating the encounter, but you create a kind of space for aliveness.”

O’Harra has brought this experimentation of form and audience/maker relationship to Philly and Penn, and plans on exploring it here.

On September 17, O’Harra performed an installment of her play I’m Bleeding All Over the Place: Studies in Directing or Nine Encounters Between Me and You subtitled, So? as part of CATCH, a curated series co–produced by Philly Fringe

Arts and Thirdbird. As an exploration of the relationships in theater, the series has taken the form of performances with multiple actors reading scenes from the writers’ daily experiences.

O’Harra is also currently in the process of starting several other directing projects, potentially including another serial regarding the trans community in collaboration with former Room for Cream writer, Jess Barbagallo, a trans playwright and performer.

She plans to bring back Time Passes, an eight–hour performance piece using the book–on–tape recording of Virginia Woolf ’s To the Lighthouse performed earlier last year. O’Harra is also currently working on Seven Homeless Mammoths Wander New England by Madeleine George, a Pulitzer Prize nominee. “It’s queer,” she stated simply, “It’s very queer, but it’s also recognizable, structurally, as a comedy, so it’s not alienating for a more broad audience. So people should audition or come see it.”

ARTS

ACCESSIBLE ART Have you ever wondered what goes on inside an artist’s head or workspace? Here’s your chance to find out.

For two weekends in October, the Center for Emerging Visual Artists (CFEVA) is holding the Philadelphia Open Studio Tours (POST), a free festival that allows audience members to gain access into studios and view art all over the city.

“The goal is to celebrate the arts in Philadelphia and to expose the existence of artists, to uncover the fact that artists live among us and that there are so many nooks and crannies across the city where people are making work and people are creating very exciting things,” said CFEVA Community

Programming Coordinator Julia Fox. The 17th Annual Philadelphia Studio Tours will take place during the weekends of October 8–9 and October 22–23, from 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. each day.

POST spans 22 neighborhoods across Philadelphia, with the first weekend showcasing locations West of Broad Street and the second focusing on the artists East of Broad Street. The good news for Penn students is that they don’t have to travel very far to take part—there are studios and workshops right in West Philadelphia and University City.

The festival includes access to artists’ studios, workshops, talks and exhibitions. Studios

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POST opens its doors this October.

range from warehouses to artists’ homes. While the tours of the studios are self–guided and free of charge, CFEVA also offers guided trolley tours for $45 per person each Sunday of the program (reservations required).

“There are artists out there who want to talk to people about their work, for sure,” said Fox. In addition to studio tours, there are a number of more traditional gallery exhibitions which are a part of the program. These exhibitions will be held in City Hall, the Pennsylvanian Academy of Fine Arts and the Sonesta Hotel, among other venues. One of the featured exhibitions is CFEVA’s 2015 Antonia W. Hamilton

Fellow Nick Cassaway’s installation at the CFEVA gallery, “Above the Sound of Ideologies Clashing”. This piece is a room–sized wallpaper consisting of repetitions of 80 different images telling the story between a stage magician and a sorceress.

“Nick’s show is definitely going to be very unusual,” said Fox. “I’m sure people will be taking selfies in front of it and it’s just going to be very loud and very exciting, all–encompassing.”

Cassaway’s installation will be on display from October 8 to November 10 and the opening reception will take place from 5:00–7:00 p.m. on October 13.

POST was founded by Karen Brown, with the first Open Studio Tour taking place in 2000, according to POST’s website. It was taken over by CFEVA in 2009.

Last year, POST drew an audience of around 47,000 viewers and featured 299 artists along with 52 accompanying exhibitions. This year, there will be around 240 artists, 50 of them new to the festival.

“POST is a program that allows the outsider to come into the artist’s studio,” said Fox, “And it is pretty unique in what it does because the public gets to explore—through demonstrations, through gallery exhibitions—the world of an artist in Philadelphia.”

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FRATERNITIES SUE COLDER WEATHER Some guys just can’t wait until Fling pool party.

Students at the University of Pennsylvania have been a–buzzing about the sudden drop in climate. Though NSO commenced with a high of 90 degrees, and the first week of classes brought a heat wave or two, recent temperatures have been getting cozy around the high sixties and low seventies. Though the easily–sweaty are thrilled with this thermal reduction, there is one group on campus that is severely concerned with global cooling and the recent drop: Penn fraternities.

A group of sophomore brothers (from a fraternity that chOZe to remain nameless), was seen protesting at the button yesterday. Shouting, “1, 2, 3, 4, we prefer you in short shorts/ 5, 6, 7, 8 skinny jeans are fine but not as great,” the students gathered together for a cause they felt truly affected

everyone. One brother, near tears, agreed to sit down for an interview with Street. “I can’t wrap my head around it,” he started. “We’re already away for the summer, and then Mother Nature swoops in and takes away the few weeks of glory we have in the beginning? I’m not sexist, but this wouldn’t have happened if Father Nature hadn’t left her and stayed.”

Another unconsolable brother tried to rationalize with Street. “The thing is,” he began, “I don’t understand why their outfits need to change. My comforter upstairs can keep any girl warm if she gets cold.” We also received word that the president of the fraternity decided he had enough and was drafting his transfer application to the University of Southern California.

Some men, however,

decided to take action. Zach Schultzman opened up to Street, “When I was speaking to my father about this, we came to the conclusion that

something had to be done.

He’s helping me sue Obama for this preposterous climate change.”

Though the protests con-

tinue, the fraternity has refused to release a public statement on the cause.

Illustration by Gloria Yuen

INTERVIEW WITH DONALD TRUMP'S FRESHMAN YEAR ROOMMATE Even the Don was a frosh once upon a time.

Street: Thanks for sitting down with us today, Mr… uh…Riddle? Is that right?

Roommate: Oh, call me Voldemort. Happy to be here!

Street: So as you know, your freshman roommate is pretty famous these days! But what was he like the first day you met him?

Voldemort: All I’ll say is he somehow moved into our Riepe double a week early to claim the bottom bunk. Isn’t it, like, the rule of humanity to wait and flip a coin? That’s when I knew he was really evil. Also, half our room was taken up by his shrine to himself. It was a hard thing to explain when I brought girls home.

Street: First impressions can be powerful. Did he have any weird quirks?

Voldemort: Every night it would take him hours to remove his mask so I never got to use the sink in our room. So annoying.

Street: Are you surprised that he wants to be president?

Voldemort: Is that what he’s doing? Phew! I thought he was going after MY job!

Street: Was he involved with any groups on campus?

Voldemort: He did a cappella and something called “Demagorgons Anonymous” Street: Where could you find

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him on a Thursday night?

Voldemort: Rumor. Nevermind. I’m just kidding—usually Recess, lol.

Street: What was his sleep schedule like?

Voldemort: He would stay up blasting Gregorian chants on his record player until 4 a.m.

Like, I needed to sleep too?

Street: So I’m guessing you guys didn’t room together after freshman year?

Voldemort: Well I ended up dropping out of Penn after my freshman year. I was kind of an early Mark Zuckerberg. Except instead of Facebook I was trying to take over the wizarding world. But same difference.

Illustration by Gloria Yuen

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Get to the counter and realize you can’t decide if you want a caramel macchiato iced or a pumpkin spice latte.

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Ask which one has more calories.

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Ask Sophie if you should get the pumpkin because it’s been tough with Josh even though you yelled at her to yell at you when you consume too much sugar.

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Change your order because the last girl Josh hooked up with would NEVER get pumpkin. She def drinks her coffee black.

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Realize you forgot your wallet in the Radian and ask if you can venmo Sophie or the cashier, literally whatever is easiest for them.

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While you’re waiting, see Josh # 1 and run out of Starbucks.

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Ten minutes later when you know he’s gone, go back inside and order all over again.

LOWBROW

WHARTON PUBLIC POLICY INITIATIVE HOSTS SYMPOSIUM TO CHOOSE STUDENT'S NEW PROFILE PICTURE No one would ever be the same.

On Tuesday evening, in conjunction with the Annenberg School of Public Policy and the U.S. Secretary of State, the Penn Wharton Public Policy Initiative hosted a symposium to choose Anna Goldman’s (W '18) new profile picture. Speaking on the panel was acclaimed personal brand consultant Becky “Becky” Johnson, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki–moon, Ms. Goldman’s best friend Lea and The One Guy Who Never Likes Ana’s Profile Pictures (C '17).

In her opening statements, Ms. Goldman declared that looking at her current profile picture made her “sick” and “if

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[the symposium] can’t decide this now I will literally have to excuse myself from society and join an order of Tibetan monks.” With this in mind, the symposium began.

The choice was between a composed portrait with the subject looking nonchalantly at the camera and a selection Ms. Goldman “swears was candid.” Mr. Ki–moon admitted that his experience with decision–making in times of crisis had not prepared him for the task at hand. “I thought the Syrian refugees were struggling; clearly I spoke too soon,” he commented, continuing that “if I can solve this then resolving the Israel/Pal-

estine conflict will be simple.”

Though generally amicable, Mr. Ki–moon was frequently visibly frustrated with The One Guy Who Never Likes Ana’s Profile Pictures who did not appear to agree with the Secretary General regarding the gravity of the situation.

The student’s suggestion was to “just zoom in on your current one so it re–crops and looks like a new pic.”

Ms. Johnson advised the young socialite to choose the portrait. “Pretty much every employer will look at your Facebook page,” she counseled. The “whoosh” that echoed through the room was the sound of every student in

the room’s futures running away.

Lea (the best friend) appeared to be suffering from some kind of psychotic break as a result of the symposium.

The young woman could only utter an occasional, “I can’t even,” because of the undue

stress resting on her Lululemon–clad shoulders.

After 12 hours of fierce deliberation, the symposium came to an end. The outcome?

The more casual choice. “I want people to see how easy– going and completely sane I am,” Ms. Goldman concluded.

Who's your pick?

Share your opinion.

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