Oct 29 - Nov 4, 2015 34st.com
Friday Night
Plights
Why Penn doesn't care if we lose
october 29
HURRAHFROMTHEEDITOR
2015
LOL
School spirit is hiding somewhere in a third floor Van Pelt carrel. No, we never fill the 52,958 seats in Franklin Field. No, we don't tailgate. No, we don't bow to the basketball team as they walk down Locust (my dad tells me they did back in 1980–whatever). But we are spirited. That’s because we belong here. We belong to each other. No matter what you’re doing or feeling, there’s someone who feels that too. My roommate Mel and I haven’t slept in 48 hours, but we did that together. When I left the DP at 3am, she called me to walk me home, and we discussed how to dress as Nicki Minaj for Halloween—pink thongs and all. When I came to the Daily Pennsylvanian on Monday night, I found our Design Director, Byrne, stretched out across a chair and the couch. “What are you doing here? What are you working on?” I asked her. “I came here because I knew there’d be people here,” she said. That’s where our school spirit lies: between a couch and a chair and the knowledge that someone will be there.
3 HIGHBROW
what's in/what's out, overheards, round up
4 WORD ON THE STREET mrs. degree
5 EGO
jack pilutti, cool classes
LOL
LOL
LOL
9 MUSIC
this week in music, penn musician
11 FILM & TV
halloweek instagrams, victoria at philadelphia film festival
13 FEATURE sports
17 FOOD & DRINK
songs about food, gnocchi gnocchi gnocchi
LOL
LOL
Hurrah for the red and blue—whatever that means.
19 ARTS
love sticks, eastern state penitentiary
25 LOWBROW
vaccinations, hallowbroween
WE LIKE STREET AND WE DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS. COME TO OUR MEETING TONIGHT. WE'LL BE IN COSTUME. 6:30PM TONIGHT @ 4015 'NUT.
34TH STREET MAGAZINE Alexandra Sternlicht, Editor–in–Chief Marley Coyne, Managing Editor Ling Zhou, Design Director Byrne Fahey, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director Yasmin Meleis, Social Media and Marketing Director Dani Blum, Features Editor Rebecca Heilweil, Features Editor Casey Quackenbush, Culture Editor Orly Greenberg, Word on the Street Editor Caroline Marques, Entertainment Editor Emily Johns, Styles Editor
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Conor Cook, Highbrow Beat Allie Cohen, Ego Beat Carolyn Grace, Ego Beat Spencer Winson, Lowbrow Beat Caroline Harris, Lowbrow Beat Johanna Matt-Navarro, Music Beat Talia Sterman, Music Beat Emily Hason, Film and TV Beat Brandon Slotkin, Film and TV Beat Steph Barron, Arts Beat Syra Ortiz-Blanes, Arts Beat Elena Modesti, Food + Drink Beat Dina Zaret, Health, Food + Drink Beat Galit Krifcher, Design Editor Holly Li, Design Editor Jeffrey Yang, Design Editor
Katie Dumke, Photo Editor Kyle Bryce-Borthwick, Video Producer
Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Pat Goodridge, Alex Fisher and Katie Dumke.
Randi Kramer, Copy Director Staff Writers: Hallie Brookman, Julie Chu Cheong, Dan Maher, Amanda Reid, Pat Goodridge, Julie Levitan
Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Alexandra Sternlicht, Editor–in–Chief, at sternlicht@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.
Staff Photographers: Alex Fisher, Pat Goodridge
www.34st.com
Staff Designers: Emily Cieslak, Mica Tenenbaum, Nadia Kim, Remi Lederman, Sofie Praestgaard
"I just had to darken someone's nipples."
COVER PHOTO: ILANA WURMAN
©2015 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.
HIGHBROW
over heard PENN at
One day you're in; the next day, you're out.
Blonde betch: I'm not racist. I was raised by foreigners. English prof: How are we going to interpret the meaning of the fart? Turn to line 2206.
What's In:
Bro abroad: I was going to go shirtless and paint my body because who doesn't like to be slutty on Halloween while rolling?
Celebrating Halloween Suicide Squad Costumes Sexy Pizza Rat Self–Deprecation Trick or Treating
What's Out: Celebrating not on Halloween Vampire Costumes Sexy Ebola Self–Obsession Downtowns
TFM MBA on final paper: This sucks balls, man. You have to use paragraphs, make sure everything is in the right tense…just hire an undergrad to do it. Gay senior: He warned me he was dressing as an Indian chief and would be slightly insensitive. And I was like, "You're ethnically ambiguous, it's okay."
THEROUNDUP Highbrow applauds the efforts of the Ivy League Snapstory…but let’s be real: It only gets ten seconds of footage while we get the whole story. Pay attention. To pee or not to pee, that is the question. At a ZBT party, one girl had to attend to her tinkle spout and stepped into the nearest bathroom. Upon entering, a frat bro kindly informed her it was the gentlemen’s room—le duh, she responded, we’re in a fucking frat house. As she stepped into a stall, the girl slipped on the wet floor and slammed her head and eye. Her black eye will make for such a chic, realistic boxer costume. Are we experiencing an international crisis? It looks like there’s been a failure of de–bro– macy. Two frats, one on–campus and the other off–campus, hosted parties the same night. In
competition for rushes, they called the police on each other. Both parties were shut down, but shit got real on Pine Street. Police attempted to enter the house party, but the brothers resisted their entrance. Party goers rushed upstairs to hide from the big bad cops, and the situation only worsened. The police finally entered the house, searched upstairs, banged on closed doors and demanded attendees leave. We hear someone was even chased onto the roof, and a couple people left with party favors (read: citations). What goes around, comes around—karma’s only a bitch if you are. Is it Hanukkah already? A group of lucky students received a lovely surprise from a generous Jewish Santa Claus, aka a wealthy alumn. Students involved with a Jewish organization were feasting on Chinese food when their rabbi sur-
prised them all with iPad minis. The iPads even included an app of the Talmud, a central text of Rabbinic Judaism. Welcome to the 21st century: The iTorah is so hot right now. You know what’s also hot right now? The fire that started in Castle this past weekend. As we all know: When things get hot, they sometimes get wet. The sprinklers went off and extinguished the fire. There’s an investigation underway, and apparently students are being questioned. If we hear any updates, we’ll send you a smoke signal.
The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact. O C T O B E R 2 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
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WORD ON THE STREET
word on the STREET
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MRS MISSES THE POINT
t’s 9pm on a Wednesday night and, in my book, I should be at one place and one place only: Copabanana, drinking margaritas. So you can imagine the state of mind that my friend and I are in when we find ourselves doing work instead. The only thing lower than our morale is our stash of study snacks. And as soon as we begin to study, we give up. As we pack our backpacks to head out, my friend turns to me and says, “I mean, I might as well camp outside of Wharton with my legs open for the rest of the year. I got nothing done.” I adamantly agree as I look down at my very unfinished study guide. It wasn't until later that my friend’s comment really started to bother me—she’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. If anything, I should be overhearing lowly sophomore boys plotting to move next door to her senior year so that they can swoop her up. But this doesn't happen. Instead, I have the pleasure of hearing even more stories like this: How my other friend’s swim coach openly told her in the first few months of school that the only thing she was going to get out of Penn was an “MRS degree.” I wish I could end that story by saying, “and then
Illustration by: Amanda Reid 4
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ELENA MODESTI he quickly took it back and treated her to Sabrina’s for the rest of the year, because he was so sorry for his behavior.” But that didn’t happen either. For those of you who don’t know what the MRS degree is, it’s essentially the idea that girls only go to college to meet a smart guy, marry them and then forever after have their spa days and tennis lessons with Kyle funded by their hubby. Constant undermining of female ability has tainted and warped female students' perception of marriage, and Penn is terrifyingly susceptible to this shift.
*** When I was little, my favorite childhood game was getting married to my five–foot giraffe. I would put on my mom’s red lipstick, big hoop earrings that belonged to an old pirate costume and a creepy, white, lace shawl that belonged to my dead great–grandmother––I was the perfect bride. The first question you may be asking is, "How did your mom not see this as early onset mental insanity?” My answer is that she did, and she was right. But nevertheless, this is how I envisioned marriage when I was little: Finding something I loved
How I learned what the MRS Degree is— and how I avoided it.
and spending the rest of my life with it. Surprisingly, it was Penn that warped my vision of marriage, not my giraffe husband. My freshman year, I found it hard to believe how many of my female peers felt inadequate in comparison to everyone around them. I think that this is what causes the MRS mentality. My friends are some of the brightest bulbs in the tanning booth, but their academic confidence says otherwise. Part of it may be humility, but a larger part of it is a genuine belief that they will never be at the top of the totem pole. Before I came to Penn, I attended an all–girls private school that shoved down everyone’s throat the idea that we were “women for the world.” When I got to Penn, I expected the same encouragement and confidence. But I was quickly proven wrong. It’s scary that even at one of the most prestigious schools in the world, girls are still undermining the value of their education. As far as I’m concerned, the only reason I should ever get married is because I have found someone whom I love so much that I want to be with him for the rest of my life––not because he got a 4.0 and already has an offer from JP Morgan next year or because I can’t seem to have a semblance of faith in my future as a career–woman. So why do I still make “I’m going to camp outside of Wharton my senior year—screw this exam” jokes? I never hear guys joking about this, and that is partially due to the fact that most boys have a healthy (read: whopping) dose of confidence. Yes, I’m still subscribed to Vera Wang Wedding, and yes, at age thirteen, I decided that I wanted to walk down the aisle to “Under the Sea.” But this is supplemented by the fact that I’ll be marrying someone because he loves The Little Mermaid as much as I do and not because he’s got the money to pay for the string quartet. I have no idea what my future holds, and education is one of the only things that will help me figure that out. In short, it’s time to focus efforts on reaping the immense benefits that a college education provides. I’m going to shoot for CEO, for president—and if I miss, well, we’ll just blame those Wednesday nights at Copa.
EGO
EGOOF THE WEEK: JACK PILUTTI
This week's Ego dreams of making the world a greener place… by controlling plants with his mind and throwing trash in volcanoes—but until then, the Chair of Student Sustainability Association at Penn (SSAP) will be mastering the art of recycling. Street: How did you get interested in environmental issues? Jack Pilutti: When I was eight, I wrote a paper––or whatever you call a paper in second grade—about how to throw all of the world’s trash into volcanoes. Since then, I’ve always wanted to go into environmental studies or sustainability. SSAP is the umbrella organization for all the green groups on campus and being chair is awesome because I get to “cheat” and be involved in every environmental group. Street: What’s one green habit that you have? JP: Even though I know that our landlord doesn’t separate garbage and recycling, I still make everyone in my house recycle things and put them in separate containers. It’s something that I’ve always done and always cared about. I know it’s all going into the same truck at the end of day, but what matters is getting people in the habit and practice of recycling. Street: Have you done anything really bizarre for the sake of the environment? JP: Over the summer I did an environmental research program through Penn, and one of our trips was to a wastewater treatment plant in Camden, New Jersey. So we walked around and saw a lot of shit––literally, a lot of feces. It smelled disgusting, but I was actually being paid to visit this waste treatment plant. We saw the tanks where they use bacteria to process waste as well as the people whose job is to sample certain amounts of fecal bacteria in things. (Ed. note: Ew.) It was really interesting, but also really gross.
Street: You're also on the LGBT Advisory Council. Tell us a little about what that is and what your goals are for this year. JP: It’s a council with representatives from all different parts of campus who get together to talk about the state of LGBTQA life on campus. One thing I’m always interested in is getting people who wouldn’t typically turn to the LGBT center for resources to spend time there and to use it when they need it.
Street: We've heard through the grapevine that your hair has a unique quality to it. Explain. JP: Most people’s hair grows down, whereas mine just grows out. My family used to make fun of me for it. My mother’s a children’s book illustrator, and she made this painting for my birthday of me wearing a hat with this huge ocean wave of hair coming out of my head.
Street: If you are what you eat, what are you? JP: Bacon, egg and cheese on Street: Now, on to St. Elmo–– a bagel from Lyn's. what’s the best theme you’ve had for a party so far? Street: What is your spirit JP: This is one of the weirder animal? ones we’ve done: We had a JP: I'd like to say an otter, but baby party, so everyone dressed maybe like an opossum or a up like babies and children. We squid. drank out of baby bottles, and there was a ball pit and a mat- Street: There are two types of tress to jump on. It was weird, people at Penn: but still really, really fun. JP: Those who are willing to eat a meal at Mark's Café and Street: What advice would those who aren't. you give to your freshman– year self? Street: Which one are you? JP: Start exploring PhiladelJP: I used to be the former, but phia immediately. It's so easy then I started to notice how to stay rooted on campus, but long those egg sandwiches will it's an amazing city that's a sit there all day, and I would lot more interesting than any still eat them. Then I came to GBM. realize it’s always worth it to GrubHub something, because Street: What are some of you will be happier and think your favorite spots outside of more of yourself than if you eat Penn’s campus? one of those chewy sandwiches JP: The easiest thing is to from Mark’s Café. So now I’m walk along the Schuylkill to the latter. Fairmount Park on a beautiful day. Also, one of the interestStreet: How far would we ing things is, if you’re here for have to scroll back in your the summer, there are huge camera roll to get to a selfie? flea markets and art festivals in JP: Want me to check? There’s North Philly. For example, I one of me making my elbow went to an awesome punk rock look like a butt, but I don’t flea market over the summer. think that counts. The next
Name: Jack Pilutti Major: Environmental Studies Minor: Economics Hometown: Ann Arbor, MI Activities: Co–Chair of SSAP (Student Sustainability Association at Penn), St. Elmo Club, President of EES Department Undergraduate Advisory Board, Member of Carriage and Omega, LGBT Advisory Council one after that was from Fourth fingers. Finish your drink and of July. (Ed. note: We want to *snap*, refilled. see that elbow/butt pic.) Street: First celebrity crush? Street: If you could have a JP: Young Joe Biden was very drink with anyone in history, good looking. who would it be? JP: It would be an explorer. Street: What’s your most Probably Roald Amundsen, useless talent? one of the Arctic explorers. I’d JP: I can pop my shoulder love to ask him what was it like blades out and shake someto see the Arctic Sea for the one’s hand with them. first time. I love the idea of being able to discover something, This interview has been edited but I guess we can’t really do and condensed. that anymore. Street: What would you guys be drinking? JP: I’d love to try some of the absinthe that the tortured artists were drinking. Street: If you could have any superpower, what would it be? JP: This is cheesy given what I study, but I would love to be able to control plants—make them grow, make them do things, make trees pop, grab people with grass. It’d be really fun, and I would kill fewer houseplants. I also love asking people what their sidekick power would be, like a power that couldn’t do anything real. Street: And what would you choose for that? JP: The power to make any drink refill at the snap of my O C T O B E R 2 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
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EGO
EGO IMPROVES YOUR ADVANCED REGISTRATION
CAROLYN GRACE
Not sure what to take next semester? Street has suggestions for some sweet classes that you probably didn’t even know existed.
MUSC 275: ELECTRONIC MUSIC
GSWS 125: ADULTERY NOVEL
URBS 322/FNAR 222: THE BIG PICTURE: MURAL ARTS IN PHILADELPHIA Finally check off “ABCS” and “Fine Arts” from your class to–do list and explore the city while doing it. Students learn about the history and practice of the contemporary mural movement by visiting various murals throughout Philly. The final class project is to design and paint a large outdoor mural in West Philly in collaboration with local high school students and community groups.
Become the next Deadmau5 or Diplo. This course is an introduction to electronic music and sound production, focusing specifically on analogue systems and performance.
FOLK 241: GREAT STORY COLLECTIONS If you enjoy books like Fifty Shades of Grey and The Scarlet Letter, this class is for you. The course examines narratives of adultery from Shakespearean times to the present, covering the themes Penn has a Folklore Department? Cool story, bro. You don’t need any background in folklore for this class, though. Readings of desire, transgression and suspicion. span from the first century to the twentieth and come from all Readings aim to place the subject within a larger social, psychological and literary areas, including the Middle East, Europe and the US. You'll explore how cultures collect oral histories and why they're freak- context. We hear the discussions get pretty heated. ing cool.
LGST 227: LITERATURE OF SUCCESS Learn what it takes to succeed in this class and beyond. This course uncovers what it means to be successful and how to achieve this goal by studying various autobiographies, plays, cases and essays of the world’s powerhouses. Students keep a journal and use technology to examine their own character strengths, talents and aspirations. No final exam. TL;DR: NO FINAL EXAM.
AFRC 221: HIP HOP HISTORY, 1965-2005 This course explores hip hop through its development, history, communication style, dance form, music and artistic process. In addition, discussions are about how the dynamics of race, gender, youth and class influence the genre. We’re assuming homework includes listening to Grandmaster Flash and Notorious B.I.G. 6
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MUSIC
WHAT TO LISTEN TO: The Neighbourhood’s second album drops tomorrow. Featuring singles "R.I.P. 2 My Youth," "Prey" and "The Beach," WIPED OUT! is shaping up to be the opposite of a sophomore slump. Tomorrow’s a big day to be on the sidelines: Matt Berninger of The National + Brent Knopf of Menomena = EL VY: Get ready to "Return to the Moon" with this highly
WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT:
anticipated collab. Then there’s also the side project from Martin Courtney of Real Estate, Many Moons: If it looks like Real Estate, and it sounds like Real Estate, we just might be moving in. Or maybe you just want some motivation for midterm season? Ariana Grande’s got you covered: "Focus." Starting tomorrow.
If you don’t know, now you know: Four years later and it's finally time to say "Hello" again to Adele—lead single just dropped and 25 is set for Nov. 20. We’re excited for Chance the Rapper and Stephen Colbert to get together. (Ed. note: You should be too.)
YOUR WEEK IN MUSIC
TALIA STERMAN
WHAT TO SEE:
To downtown or not to downtown… DJs Matoma, Prince Fox and others will hit Union Transfer tonight. So maybe not. If you're looking for more of a change of scenery, kick off your Halloween in a warehouse with Hallowink hosted by Josh Wink and featuring Seth Troxler, who just so happens to be the number four DJ on RA's Top 100…. The Chainsmokers are back in town, tomorrow, Friday, Oct. 30 at Electric Factory. This
time the concert isn't sponsored by Beta, but they're fun on Snapchat so you should go. You could also grab your costume and head over to Medusa tomorrow, for a Halloween "Soiree." But really: there's no cover, only cheap drinks and good vibes on the dance floor—aka a win–win. Next up: a masquerade. FamiliaRise, rizumu and Foreign Affairs are taking over 52Hz, and they'll have you dancing til morning. You'll sleep when you're dead.
We’ve already told you, but we’ll tell you again. Coming off the release of the stellar Savage Hills Ballroom, Youth Lagoon is a must see—7:30pm on Saturday, Oct. 31 at Union Transfer. If you’re feeling nostalgic about Fling 2012, we’ve got some good news: Ra Ra Riot’s back in town at 8pm at Sunday, Nov. 1 at Boot & Saddle. "Real Life" would get so much better if you would just head over to Union Transfer on Tuesday, Nov. 3 at 8pm.
It’s Brothertiger. And JR JR. Thank us later. Kendrick Lamar hits the Troc Tuesday, Nov. 3, and there’s no chance you’re getting tickets to the “biggest hypocrite concert of 2015." Just as we got "Reflections" out of our heads…. Breakout
indie pop outfit Misterwives comes to the Fillmore Wednesday, Nov. 4 at 7pm. Anyone out there still a JoJo fan? Hit up Coda Wednesday, Nov. 4 to witness the former teen popstar back in action. But something tells us it might be too little, too late.
CREATIVE • BALANCED • SIMPLE 1608 SOUTH STREET • PHILADELPHIA, PA 215-790-0330 • ENTREEBYOB.COM O C T O B E R 2 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
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MUSIC
MEET THE PENN MUSICIAN: He developed communities in South Africa. He opened for Afrojack. He likes Taylor Swift. And he may be Penn's number one DJ. who don’t really give a shit, and you have to play kind of chill Street: What was your favorite music, it’s definitely not as good of a feel. experience DJing? SP: I DJ a lot at Vanderbilt Street: Advice for making because I’m from Nashville and my brother really likes the playlist? SP: Know what people like and same music as me, so we put together a set and played at one know what the mood is for the night. This week is going to be of Vandy’s biggest fall parties really EDM–heavy because of during fall break this year. It was his first time DJing, and he Halloween, so the following week it’s better to have sing– did an unbelievable job. along classic songs and rap. Street: Where have you perStreet: Where's your favorite formed? Street: New artists? place to play? SP: In Philadelphia, I opened SP: Oliver Heldens—he was up SP: Any college party with for Afrojack at the Theater of and coming and now is pretty friends. It’s a lot better to play Living Arts and for Le Youth established. Very different, cool in front of my friends and in at Coda. Other than that, I’ve sound.TiMO ODV—he’s a front of a lot of college stuplayed at Ultrabar and a lot dents than to be opening for a of fraternity parties. This past summer while I did community really famous DJ like Afrojack. Afrojack is really cool to talk development work abroad in South Africa, I played at places about, but when you’re playing like Beerhouse, The Side Show for a hundred high schoolers Street: How did you start getting into DJing? Stephen Pintauro: When I joined St. A’s, I started to really love the music our DJ was playing, and I always thought I’d love to learn. By junior year I was just like, “Fuck it, I’m going to regret this if I don’t at least try it out,” so around Christmas that year, I bought a controller, and that was pretty much that.
and The Dragon Room.
w
Halloween at Pulse OCTOBER 31st
12am - 3:30am | No cover before 1am
Cash prizes to the first winner of best costume 1526 Sansom St.
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215-751-2711
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DJ that produces and sings his own songs. In my opinion, he has the potential to really revolutionize the music scene. He’s not well known outside of South Africa, but he’s amazing. Street: Your musical guilty pleasure? SP: KE$HA, Carly Rae Jepsen, Taylor Swift.
Street: Describe your ideal party. SP: Past midnight, elevated DJ booth, rave colors, packed with people that are very, very intoxicated. And friends. A lot of friends.
Street: You're the DJ for Amy Gutmann's 66th birthday party. What song do you imStreet: Your favorite out–there mediately go to? SP: “Salt Shaker,” Ying Yang musician? SP: Jauz. I love his music, but if Twins. (Ed. note: Spot. On.) I ever played this with someone in a car they’d be like, “what the Catch Stephen this Friday the fuck is this.” His music had the 30th at District N9Ne. most hardcore drops I’ve ever JOHANNA MATT-NAVARRO heard someone produce.
H E A LT H
FYI PEOPLE NEED TO GET THE FLU SHOT ASAP
Oh autumn, the season of pumpkin spice, falling leaves and fucking sniffles. DINA ZARET
So you missed the flu clinic at Houston and you’re feeling lazy. You’re a vibrant young adult, not a sickly child or grandpa. Why would you need to get vaccinated? Well, if any of these descriptions apply to you, you should hit up CVS or SHS to get a flu shot stat. Freshmen: You literally live in a breeding ground for disease. Have you ever seen Contagion? I haven’t, but I think it’s about everyone in the Quad and Hill turning into flu–zombies because they didn’t get their shots. People that sneeze into their hands: You’re already a foul being, so your sanitary habits definitely aren't up to snuff. You’re also the person most likely to infect the most people (congrats!). Do your friends a favor and get poked. Whartonites: All that networking and handshaking can take quite a toll on the good ol’ immune system. You’re probably never going to get that job at Goldman anyway, but your chances equal zero if you look like the physical manifestation of a plague. Locust Walk flyerers: This is like being an anemone in the middle of the sea of germs.
Anyone who frequents computer labs: Think about how many people have touched those keyboards and whether or not Huntsman is really fancy enough to splurge on overnight keyboard cleanings (okay, maybe). Nose Pickers: If you’re gonna spread the love, at least make sure it’s non–viral love. Everybody: As long as you don’t have a medical reason not to, everyone should get the flu shot. It’s the quickest little prick ever (Ed. note: That's what she said) and could save you a trip to the hospital and lots of misery. Even if you think you're superhuman and have the best immune system ever, you could give it to someone else and make their life a living hell. Nobody likes a patient zero. Do yourself and your friends a favor and just get the damn thing.
WHERE TO GO Student Health Services (36th and Market streets): Make an appointment online or by calling 215-746-3535. It's $25. You can bursar and you can treat yourself to Wawa mac and cheese after.
CVS (40th and Walnut or Still not convinced? Check 34th and Walnut streets): out Lowbrow for some more Head on back to the pharmacy sound advice. for your shot. The cost depends on your health insurance (so it's often free). Bonus: You get a twenty–percent–off coupon with your ExtraCard!
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DISTRITOPHL
H A L L O W E E N P R E G A M E PA RT Y
Saturday, October 31st • 7:00pm-10:00pm Drink Specials $5 Taqueria Margaritas $5 Sangria and $2 Tecate
Costume Contest $100 gift card to Garces restaurants
D Í A D E M U E RT O S
Sunday, November 1st • 11:30am-5:00pm Waking the Dead Brunch $5 Tomatillo Bloody Marias $5 Blood Orange Mimosas $3 Modelo Especials
$13 Nachos Desaysuno (Breakfast-Style Nachos)
Modelo Especial Giveaways!
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F E AT U R E
Friday Night Plights It’s 3:14am and my sister is cranky. We drove through the night to get from Lake Worth to Ocala, Florida, our annual University of Florida football– weekend hotel spot. My dad and I will spend the next morning buying last minute tailgate supplies before the three of us head to UF’s campus in Gainesville. My aunt, uncle and cousins will then join us for a family tailgate, and after we’ll all break up to go join our high school friends before my generation reconvenes at my cousin’s frat. My sister and I will join our father at our seats in the Northwest corner of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. The band takes the field; I sing along with all the fight songs, even the alma mater. As my Gators pour out onto the field to thunderous applause underneath blinding lights, I shed a tear. I have never attended this institution of higher education. Instead, I go to Penn, where things like this do not, and maybe will not, ever happen.
***
Large state schools make events out of their college athletics, and yet, Penn, despite its prolific athletic history, is just starting to tap into sports culture. “If Penn doesn’t allow you to set up a barbecue on Shoemaker Green before a football or basketball game, students opt to do different things,” says Jesus Perez, C’16, Senior Class President. And it’s not just that Penn doesn’t tailgate as hard as Penn State. “When you look at our peers—Harvard, Yale—they allow tailgating.” Lack of camaraderie begins with the Greek community. While fraternities are the highlight of the Saturday scene at state schools and drive attendance at peer institutions, Penn frats are unwilling to devote resources to activities that they feel have little baked–in interest. “We were going to have a pregame for the football game on October 23rd, but then we remembered we went to Penn and no one gives a shit,” says Kyle Bigley C’17, SAE’s social chair. He says his “organiza-
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tion could get students more involved, but it's costly and people are generally busy when games are going on.” Penn Athletics said in a statement, “We are active in an ongoing manner regarding outreach to and communication with the Greek groups on campus.” Yet none of the Greek affiliates I spoke with mentioned outreach from the
to imagine Harvard and Yale students saying the same thing, let alone Michigan and Ohio State students. Similarly, Penn traditions such as "The Line" have been neglected. Every fall, students would camp out in front of the Palestra, sometimes for days, for men’s basketball season tickets. After years of shaky attendance following men’s basketball’s last NCAA tournaWe were going to ment appearance in have a pregame for 2007, the Athletics gave the football game on Department control of The Line Oct. 23, but then we to the Red and Blue in 2012; the remembered we went Crew event has not been to Penn and no one held since 2013. The viewing gives a shit. experience at Franklin Field Athletics Department. When for the Oct. 23 win against asked to describe the relationYale was an odd one for me. I ship between his fraternity and spent most of the game with a Penn Athletics, Bigley labeled it friend who complained about “strained.” football’s complicated rules and When the Greek community lamented the low quality of does host events ostensibly play. But I also spent the fourth related to athletics, it’s underquarter in the student section, stood that sports will take a where students like Joe Maher, backseat to day drinking. A dif- W’17, tried to cajole the crowd ferent fraternity’s social chair, into irreverent, and sometimes who wished to remain anonyriotous, chants.“Cheering on mous, believes there’s very Penn Athletics lets me feel like little enthusiasm for the actual I'm part of the broader Penn homecoming football game: community. I really value the “It's something alumni go to, community experience this if the weather's nice, for a few gives me,” Joe says. quarters.” Moreover, the game Athletes want to feel the between Penn and Princeton is school spirit that's lacking a sideshow to the main event. on Penn’s campus. Christian “For Penn–Princeton nobody Pearson, C’19, a wide receiver cares about the game itself, just describes the campus attitude the social experience.” It’s hard toward athletics as “indiffer-
F E AT U R E
by Brandon Slotkin
why Penn doesn't care if we lose ent,” but hopes that will soon change. Fans “make the team feel like they have a good support system and really helps them feel like they’re playing for school pride.” And, if anything, this effect is larger for less popular sports, like field hockey. Gina Guccione, W’18, a Penn Field Hockey midfielder, explains, “We always want more fans. It makes playing more fun and gets everyone more energetic when you can see people on the side rooting for you throughout the game.” Yet, so far, the institutions tasked with building the sports atmosphere that would drive attendance have failed to do so.
*** Maybe the problem isn’t systemic, but cultural. Penn students value other things. I knew when I chose Penn over the University of Florida that I wouldn’t be waking up at 6am for day drinking and tailgates every Saturday, but I didn’t think Penn students would actively ignore athletics. Yet, as Kyle jokes, “We didn't come here to play sports. We came here to play school.” “I think the students here are really busy," Penn Field Hockey Coach Colleen Fink says. "The young adults here are spread pretty thin with their own interests. I don’t think it’s necessarily apathy, I think it’s more a matter of time and not knowing what they’re missing.”
Men’s Basketball Coach Steve Donahue describes this as a “disconnect.” He, like Fink, thinks that the main way to drive attendance is to make the sports culture much more social. But he also thinks the product on the court has to drive demand. “We’ve gotta build excitement by playing a brand of basketball that they want to see. We have to make sure that it’s an event at the Palestra. That’s the bottom line.That they want to support a winner. And that’s our job: to be successful.” But are Penn athletics good enough to attract our attention? Donahue would admit that men’s basketball hasn’t been, at least in recent years. As he frankly put it, “That’s why I’m here.” Since the 2010–2011 season, men’s basketball highest average home game attendance was five years ago at 4,452 fans. As the team’s record has fallen, so has attendance, with a five–year low during the most recent season: 2,726 fans during 2014–2015. Football is more difficult to explain. Over the last five years, average home game attendance peaked in 2013 at 11,936 fans, which was the year after and had higher attendance than the season Penn won an Ivy League title. This high watermark also came despite a losing 4–6 record. But the same decreasing trend in basketball is present in football. Attendance fell to 8,730 and 4,405 fans per game in 2014 and 2015, respectively, representing a
63% decrease over the last three years, according to statistics from the Penn Athletics website. Donahue also points to in– game experience. “Are we doing a good enough job in terms of the event itself so kids come and say, ‘this is awesome?' They’re giving out this and that, at halftime there’s this. Somehow, you gotta be the ‘it’ thing to do.” My in–game experience was not what I expected. Before I left for the student section, I sat with three students, two of whom had very little interest in the game itself. The third knew enough about football to follow along but was more interested in critiquing the performance of the Penn Band. (He says they’re much improved.) Joe says, “Penn is known as the ‘Social Ivy.’ People go out at night. There should be more incentive for them to go out before big games, tailgate and have fun.” Maybe the lack of attendance is
simple: We have other things to do.
*** There have definitely been some visible attempts to improve Penn’s sports culture. The Athletics Department has teamed up with the class boards to host events that will hopefully funnel students to games. Jesus says that the Athletics Marketing Department reached out to the class boards and graduate student representatives to organize Fan Fest and the Red and Blue BBQ. This was a consultative relationship; the Athletics Marketing Department was mostly seeking student insight on how to best cater the events toward students. Roger Reina, the Athletic Department's Senior Associate of External Affairs, says the event was a success. The Athletics Department believes about
six–hundred students attended both Fan Fest and the Red and Blue BBQ. There will be another round of tailgates on Nov. 7 for the homecoming game against Princeton. Players definitely notice the improvement. Tayler Hendrickson (W'18) sees these efforts working and approves. “It seems more and more kids are coming to the games, with more and more effort from the Athletics Department to make games student–friendly.” But it’s not just the Athletics Department driving attendance. Everyone I spoke to affiliated with Penn Athletics insisted that there is a newfound familial attitude amongst Penn sports teams, which they hope will spread to the rest of campus. Coach Fink thinks boosting attendance is a process. “The first step is getting each other’s teams to support one another. Supporting our own fellow student–athletes is issue number one, which needs to be tackled.” Her team might be the most active in terms of players reaching out to classmates and bringing them to games. Gina says, “A lot of us live with different athletes, so we’ll tell them and they’ll get people from their team to come.” The team also actively uses its Twitter account to interact with other teams. More than this, some teams are taking marketing in their own hands. “Do I think people are coming to our games because of
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F E AT U R E
that? No, but I think it gets people talking about the field hockey team, and if it’s generating a positive buzz, then that’s just as important to me. You’re also making the team a little bit more real and more accessible— that you get to meet some of the girls on the team that you might otherwise not have met.” Gina likes that her team is spreading awareness. “Coach thought it would be a good idea to have an incentive to bring people out to the games. It makes things exciting; we have a selling point.” It’s hard to empirically tell if this is working, but it feels like
it is. And if the goal is to change campus culture, that might be enough.
*** It’s 4:34pm and I’m carrying a full tailgate’s worth of food to the Editor–in–Chief of Street’s house. I don’t think I’ve ever been part of a group that has more apathy for sports than Street: If I could get the Street staff to tailgate, then the Athletics Department could reasonably get Penn students to tailgate as well. There are some mishaps: The beer comes late, I forget to buy plates, the brownies aren’t quite as good as they should
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have been. Maybe ten or fifteen people show up. The burgers I make are obviously delicious. The Yuengling is room temperature. It's lovely. The game itself is a lot of fun, especially when I got to the student section. Down there, I yell things like “Interception,” “nineteen sucks” and “nineteen chokes” at Yale’s quarterback, number nineteen. Every Yale penalty is met with chants of “you can’t do that” or “cheaters.” The band is feeling itself: A really well–timed rendition of Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls” makes me start dancing on the bleachers. But none of Street comes. One editor is sick, another just wants to watch Netflix with her boyfriend. The host of the tailgate is barely able to attend at all: She has a midterm paper due at midnight. Brandon Slotkin is a film and TV reporter for Street. He is a PPE major from Plantation, Florida. He likes America and Frisbee.
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FILM & TV
A SYNOPSIS OF THE PENN HALLOWEEN EXPERIENCE An Insta窶田ollage highlighting your Halloweek hangovers
EMILY HASON
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FILM & TV
VICTORIOUS
Sebastian Schipper’s one–take movie hits the mark. BRANDON SLOTKIN Given how intoxicating the description of Victoria, the latest from Sebastian Schipper, was on the Philadelphia Film Festival’s website, I was very surprised when my friend and I arrived at the Prince Theater to see absolutely nobody in line. This is my first film festival, but aren’t there supposed to be lines around the block for
these things? Apparently not, though that didn’t stop our small crowd from generating considerable buzz in the lobby. One couple heard that it was all in German, and the man in front of me opined, before having seen the film, that it was 30 minutes too long. Neither of these things are true. Victoria is a phenomenal film. That impression starts with the production: This Even college housing film is shot enThe action tirely in one shot. scenes are I don’t mean that incredibly in the Birdman way, where mulwell done, the tiple takes were conversation edited together is tense and to look like one gripping and long, gorgeous the conclusion is tracking shot; I heartbreaking. mean the actors started the movie, acted through Contact us today to find the script and Sturla Brandth Grøvlen’s your ideal off-campus housing! camera caught it all. The camera was a bit too shaky for my friend’s taste, but Fantastic units anywhere from a studio apartment to a 10 bedroom house available near 39th & Pine or 44th & Spruce. I thought it was fine and really allowed Available June 1st. the emotions of the performance to shine through. The extremes of Laia
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Costa’s emotional range feel so much more real when you know that she’s had absolutely no time to prepare for the scene. She’s giving this her all, and it shows. Costa plays Victoria, a Spaniard abroad in Berlin, who stumbles upon Sonne, Boxer, Blinker and Fuss—four German hooligans— while walking home from a club. They invite her to do some hoodrat shit: Steal from a convenience store, drink on street corners and play cards on their roof. But then one of the characters gets a call and needs to pay off a debt, and the series of events that follows can only be described as “bonkers.” It takes a while to get to the bonkers bit, but I’ve never seen a more realistic depiction of some standard cop/heist movie tropes, which I greatly appreciated. The action scenes are incredibly well done, the conversation is tense and gripping and the conclusion is heartbreaking. It’s a simple story that won’t exactly teach you anything about the nature of the world (one of my big concerns about seeing an art house festival film was that I’d have to think too hard; this movie definitely doesn’t require that), but it is neat to think about. Why do we know so little about Victoria? Why does a character owe a debt, and what got him into that situation? We’ll never know, but maybe that’s the point.
FOOD & DRINK
IF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS WERE ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE FOODS Do you love food so much that just the thought of it makes you want burst into songs of joy? Don't lie and say no; we know it does. Don't be embarrassed, here's what we sing to our food….
DINA ZARET & ELENA MODESTI
SHIT THE RADIO FEEDS YOU 24/7 (Food Remix)
//RYAN SEACREST APPROVED HITS
1. "Hello" by Adele "Hello, it's me, I was wondering if I could have a large pepperoni pizza with a chocolate milkshake?" 2. "Hotline Bling" by Drake "I know when that hotline bling, my postmates is at the door." 3. "Jumpman" by Drake, Future "Jumpman, jumpman, jumpman that boy's up to something…. I found a gluten–free wrapper in his room, and I know that shit wasn’t his." 4. "The Hills" by The Weeknd "Will climb the hills for a tub of Phish Food (who are you to judge?)." 5. "On My Mind" by Ellie Goulding "I got dinner on my mind and it's only 9am."
6. "What Do You Mean?" by J Biebs "What do you mean? When your menu says fries, but you say the grill's closed, what do you mean?" 7. "Can’t Feel My Face" by The Weeknd "I can’t feel my face after that wheel of brie… but I love it." 8. "Stitches" by Shawn Mendes "Now that I'm without those Hershey kisses, I'll be needing stitches." 9. "679" by Fetty Wap "Six hundred and seventy nine: The number of tater tots I can eat in one sitting." 10. "Same Old Love" by Selena Gomez "Same old Greek Lady order (and I'm not sick of it.)" (Ed. note: Shout out to you greek salad, never change.)
YOUR ALL TIME FAVES
1. "The Twist" by Chubby Checker "Do the twist, but only if it’s Auntie Anne’s." 2. "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO "Party rock in my pants after a Chipotle burrito." 3. "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas "I gotta feeling, that tonight’s gonna be a food coma night."
4. "Macarena" by Los Del Rio "Is macarena a type of nut? No? Forget it." 5. "Physical" by Olivia Newton–John "Let's get physical (but only after a few bottles of wine…)" 6. "You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone "Copa margaritas, you light up my
//CAN BE SUNG TO ANY FOOD, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE life… and my night." 7. "Hey Jude" by The Beatles "Hey Jude, leave some Nutella for me, you fatass." 8. "Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan "How does it feel to be on your own with no direction to the nearest Starbucks?" 9. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by The
Rolling Stones "At Sweetgreen, I can't get no satisfaction" 10. "Imagine" by John Lennon "Peanut butter–stuffed lava cakes… you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
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FOOD & DRINK
DISPATCH: CAN'T SAY GNO TO GNOCCHI
Weird dynamics at the gnocchi making class at La Cucina at the Market 6:10pm: We walk past Local 44 and realize we’ve never been this far west before. 6:15pm: We pass Aladdin’s Pizzeria on 47th and Spruce streets and my friend Carolyn realizes she’s actually ordered from there before but never knew where it was. 6:16pm: We’re officially late. What else is new? 6:19pm: We find the back entrance to La Cucina at the Market, which is in a much nicer building than the places surrounding it. 6:25pm: We have our bottle of wine open, and Anna, our teacher, starts introducing herself. 6:26pm: Anna is the picture of just–like–your–momma– makes–it Italian cooking. We trust her completely. 6:28pm: We find out that this building, Dorrance H. Hamilton Center for Culinary Enterprises, was partially funded by a Wharton program that supports local businesses. Go Wharton! 6:30pm: Anna introduces the menu: a potato gnocchi with gorgonzola cream sauce, a nuddi gnocchi (which means almost no flour is involved) with spinach and ricotta and a cavatelli with caramelized squash and pork sausage. 6:31pm: My friend Lizzy and I share a knowing look— we’re ready for all that cheese. 6:45pm: Anna starts pre-
paring the potatoes and the coming to your house for dough for the potato gnocchi; scrambled eggs!” Ouch. she’s putting a lot of muscle into that. 7:50pm: Anna is still whisking those eggs. 6:55pm: She gives us each a hunk of dough to roll and cut 7:59pm: The squash is cookinto the gnocchi pillows; it’s ing in the oven and every harder than it looks. time Anna opens the door to check we're wafted with the 7:02pm: The pint–sized, sweet smell of squash. clearly Italian woman next to me assumed she would be 8:10pm: We’re getting much better at this. I can tell hungry, but it’s time to make she’s getting frustrated. cavatelli. Anna is demonstrating how to roll the pieces of 7:10pm: We ask the tall dough down a ridged plaque, lanky kid on our other side which is how the cavatelli get about himself, and he lets us those lines on them. know—very clearly—that he’s studying for his JD/MBA at 8:15pm: Trying to hide the Penn. number of cavatelli–attempts that have rolled right onto 7:11pm: Drinking game—ev- the floor from Anna. ery time lanky guy says “JD/ MBA,” we chug. 8:20pm: We start taking a few pictures of the gnocchi 7:30pm: We move on to the cooking. Lanky guy (who nuddi gnocchi; Anna has came with no friends), turns already measured out the to Anna, “They’ve never ingredients—spinach, ricotta, known life without Facebreadcrumbs, eggs—and asks book.” Shut up, Mr. Lanky. the black–haired woman next You look like you’re twelve. to her to fold them together. 8:30pm: Anna has us all sit 7:32pm: Pint–sized Italat the table and starts serving ian woman says, “She said the meal. We learn that the fold. Not stir.” Black–haired singular of gnocchi is gnocco, woman responds, “I know who knew? how to fold. I’m a very good cook.” And the room sud8:35pm: The potato gnocchi denly gets colder. with the gorgonzola cream sauce is divine, but the stinki7:34pm: Lizzy, Carolyn and I ness of the cheese is beyond somehow ended up in a much those who aren’t the cheese more competitive cooking fanatics that Lizzy and I are. class than we intended. 8:40pm: The nuddi gnocchi 7:45pm: Anna asks Lizzy to is falling apart a little bit; whisk some eggs, watches her Anna blames it on the fact do it for about 30 seconds that she wasn’t watching us and exclaims, “Well I’m never closely enough…. Suuure….
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But it’s not so bad. 8:45pm: The cavatelli is our favorite. The squash was roasted with some red pepper flakes, so the sweet and spicy interact nicely over the thick cavatelli. 9:04pm: Pint–sized, Italian woman’s husband is explaining that he’s a small–claims insurance lawyer, and Anna starts explaining an issue she’s been having—we take that as our cue to leave. All in all, it was a delicious night. The dynamic of the students could have run a little smoother, but we would put up with a lot for a night full of gnocchi.
La Cucina at the Market 310 S. 48th Street @LaCucinaATM Want to know more? Classes offered range from "Hands On Knife Skills" to "French Bistro Cuisine" to "Hearty Winter Soups." Prices range from $70 to $95 per person, or $155 to $240 for two. Anna Maria Florio, the instructor, also teaches Italian at Temple University. Anna will also accomdate large parties, wine tastings and activities for kids.
RANDI KRAMER
THE ART OF
ARTS
A night at the Eastern State Penitentiary Circa 2008, I was a pale and gangly tween who loved her qwerty–keyboard cellphone and Rihanna’s "Disturbia" probably more than life itself. During that golden era we had three absolute truths that could not be disputed: 1) School dances were always awkward, 2) Sparkly, fruity lip gloss definitely counted as makeup and 3) Halloween meant only one thing: a sleepover with my friends, Nutella and horror–movie binging. Though I’ve thankfully outgrown skorts, that's certainly not the case for my fascination with conceptions of horror in popular culture and media. I don’t have sleepovers with my middle school friends anymore, but sometimes I do love to tap into that years–old vein that makes me watch a good
horror movie—or a not–so– good one—every so often. Last weekend, my friend Nina and I decided to take a trip to Eastern State Penitentiary for the Student Sunday discount, and, even for an off day, it was packed. It actually looked like the line at Disneyland—albeit a more sardonic version. As we arrived, we were taken aback by the beauty of the building. In the middle of Philadelphia lies a Gothic–style prison—complete with iron portcullis and an eighty–foot bell tower. Yet, even with the central rotunda and the high windows, you can't forget where you are: in the middle of a prison that has housed some of the most dangerous and controversial criminals in US history. Al Capone spent eight months there, in a luxury cell
complete with a radio, fine furniture and an oriental rug. In other words, his jail cell was probably nicer than my room at Penn. The prison runs you through a variety of scary experiences: a garden full of weird six–feet–tall animal– headed humanoids, prisoners with axes at a workshop, snarling criminals in cells and doctors who forcibly tell you to smile. Our personal favorite was the Quarantine—one of the newer attractions that incorporates 4D glasses for maximum terror effects as you make your way through the labyrinth.
Overall, ESP is an artistic and entertaining experience that covers phobias and things that go bump in the night—from clowns to insane criminals to the simply unknown and supernatural. October may almost be over, but you should take advantage of this historical and haunting experience while you can.
If you don’t like scary stuff:
Check out the prison during the day. They have a year–round museum that features the prison’s history and architecture. If you want to up the terror factor in Terror Behind the Walls:
You can opt to allow the actors in the prison to be allowed to touch you, separate you from the group, and even take you into a cell with them. Not for the faint–hearted. If you want the student discount:
SYRA ORTIZ–BLANES
Prices fluctuate depending on the demand and can go as high as $39. On Sundays, however, students get half off, meaning you can purchase tickets for as cheaply as $14.
Halloween at
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ARTS
I WANNA POKE YOU WITH MY LOVE STICK Sex, gender and beauty at the Penn Museum's most recent exhibit.
How different might Penn's hookup culture be if, instead of eliciting acceptance or rejection via date night invites or drunk texts, our crushes simply poked their love sticks through our windows at night? This was a conventional courtship practice on Toll Island, where males of the Wonip Village would fashion long–pointed “love” sticks with unique patterns and poke them through the wall of a female’s home to express their interest in the woman as a partner. (Ed. note: That's not quite what I assumed a "love stick" was….) The “love stick” is just one of the thirty fascinating objects displayed in the
Penn Museum’s small exhibit, “Sex: A History in 30 Objects.” The exhibit is divided into six display cases, each of which depicts a different aspect of this complicated and hot–topic entity we broadly refer to as “sex.” “What I wanted to do with this exhibit was to denaturalize people’s ideas of sex and gender,” curator Lauren Ristvet explained. This goal is evident in the display case dedicated to gender identity; a small marble statue of Hermaphroditos, the offspring of Hermes and Aphrodite, steals the show. It exhibits womanly breasts and curves through the wet
drapery technique, a customary practice in Ancient Greek sculpture that gives the appearance of a body draped in a wet, clingy, translucent cloth. Males, however, were always depicted in the nude, so Hermaphroditos’ muscular arm lifts the cloth to expose male legs and genitalia. Lauren says that Hermaphroditos, in contrast to how some of our society views gender ambiguity today, is actually a symbol of both power and beauty. The exhibit also tackles conceptions of beauty with a case titled “Beauty, Desire and Attraction: allure is a universal but changing concept.” “Ideas of the perfect body, ideas of how you should look are obviously always changing, and yet it’s so cross cultural,” Lauren says. This case focuses on conventions of both sexual
attractiveness and body image, displaying objects such as a nude statue of Venus, the Roman goddess of sexuality, beauty and love, and a hand– held mirror from an Egyptian tomb. “I can’t think of a single place or time when people weren’t interested in their appearances,” says Lauren. While provocatively titled,
the exhibit does more than display genitalia (though there are many of those). From gender identity to societal standards of beauty, the collection focuses not only on what drives our physical sexuality, but also how this sexuality connects to our perceptions of self. STEPH BARRON
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The Unoffical Cigar of UPenn Tickets available at:
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Halloween Party!
30 Draft Beers • 180 Bottle Beers8 8 8
• 215.387.8533 • •215.387.8533 PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com 215.387.8533 • University • •University 4006 4006 4006 Chestnut Chestnut Chestnut Street Street Street University City City City
O C T O B E R 2 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 9
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LOWBROW
Between homework, clubs and the buffet at Commons, Penn kids have a lot on their plates. We're sure a few of you let Halloween slip your mind. But don't worry, Lowbrow's got your back. Here are some costumes you already have on hand:
1
4
Put a cup on your head and be a dancing monkey.
Drag your mini fridge around with you, and say you're everything but the kitchen sink.
2
5 Wear your normal clothes, and say you are
We know about the tiara you keep in the bottom left drawer—pull it out for this special occasion.
3 Wrap yourself in tape, and voilà you’re a
human lint roller.
Deadmau5 without the helmet.
6 Be the change you want to see in the world. Thank you, Gandhi, for the costume inspiration.
7 Carry your laundry basket, and there you
8 Put on a frown. When people ask what
you are, say you're a nightmare dressed like a nightmare.
9
Collect the lint from your dryer for three months, make it into yarn, knit a sweater. Being lint is SO easy!
10
Put on a trash bag and be the trash you really are inside.
have it: You're a basket case.
All the ingredients you didn't know were lurking in your halloween candy
1 Drugs: They don't call it a sugar high for nothing!
6Laughing gas: Also from the ice 12 Beaver pee: So natural; so 2 Specifically, ecstasy: Red Bull cream truck. good. isn't the only thing that gives you wings.
3 Truth serum: Candy knows all your secrets, and pretty soon everyone else will, too.
4
Immortality: 'Cause fucking duh.
5 Chloroform: From the friendly neighborhood ice cream truck.
2 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 9 , 2 01 5
7 Candle wax: How do you
think candy corn gets that consistency?
10
Crushed, dried and boiled beetles: Adds flavor, texture—it's a fucking delicacy.
11 Lighter fluid:
Population control.