October 30, 2014 by 34th Street Magazine

October 30-November 5 2013 34st.com

october 30 LOL

3 HIGHBROW

CONTENTS

2014

roundup, overheards, word on the street

4 EGO

eotw olivia route, halloween ghost tour

6 MUSIC LOL

hot at penn, tswiz review, spooky songs, madeon interview

9 FILM LOL

LOL

what to watch on halloween, football films and shows

11 FEATURE

nrotc photo feature

16 FOOD & DRINK

candy vs. chocolate, shane confectionary, #streeeats

LOL

HAPPY H–WEINER, EVERYBODY.

20 ARTS

This year, Street is stuck between a few costumes:

david lynch review, diy non–carving pumpkins

Zombie Barbara Streisand Renee's dejected, homeless old face Self–Aware iPad Air 2 Lorde without her human costume One big, spooky cucumber Margot Halpern Anne Hathaway's frown lines A butt

22 LOWBROW

lowbrow peers through the veil

24 BACKPAGE

GOT SOMETHING BETTER? SHOW US. 2NITE @ WRITERS' MEETING | 6:30 p.m. | 4015 'NUT

pumpkin carving template

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Chloe Bower, Sexy GG Cracker Patrick Ford-Matz, Sexy Tear Abigail Koffler, Sexy Muggle Margot Halpern, Sexy Voldemort Sarah Tse, Sexy Mortician Byrne Fahey, Sexy Easy Button Ling Zhou, Sexy King Conor Cook, Sexy. Emily Johns, Sexy Eye Roll Ciara Stein, Sexy Pint of Pimms Nicole Malick, Sexy Chow Chow Alyssa Berlin, Baked by Sexy Ryan Zahalka, Sexy Psychopath Clare Lombardo, Sexy Duckling 2

Katie Hartman, Sexy Build–A–Bear Alexandra Sternlicht, Sexy Insomniac Julia Liebergall, Sexy Doctor? Marley Coyne, Sexy Toothpaste Lucy Hovanisyan, Sexy Cat Eyes Mark Paraskevas, Sexy Gif Justin Sheen, Sexy but Adorable, Bless his Heart Molly Collett, Sexy Casper Rosa Escandon, Sexy Girl that Will Kick Your Ass Adam Hersh, Sexy Curious George Ariela Osuna, Sexy Cleopatra Patrick del Valle, Sexy Succulent Sara Thalheimer, Sexy Pronunciation Orly Greenberg, Sexy New Girl

3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 3 0 , 2 01 4

Giulia Imholte, Sexy Lumberjack Diane Bayeux, Sexy Lounge Singer Rachel Rubin, Sexy Curling Iron Cassandra Kyriazis, Sexy Purse–Snatchin' Gypsy Casey Quackenbush, Sexy Carrot COVER DESIGN: Margot Halpern COVER PHOTO: Sarah Tse BACKPAGE DESIGN: Byrne Fahey Contributors: Cami Potter, Sam Rubinstein, Katrina Murray, Syra Ortiz-Blanes, Caroline Marques, Charles Davis

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Chloe Bower, Editor–in–Chief, at bower@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581. VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com "Ramen's good for you!" "Yeah, if you want to get scurvy." ©2014 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

HIGHBROW

STREET NEEDS YOU

wordonthestreet

SUBMIT GOSSIP

BURSTING THE PENN BUBBLE

Don't want to see yourself in the Roundup? Then stop tipping us about what you did last weekend and start telling us all the stupid shit your friends have been doing. Streettips@34st.com or use the anonymous tip box at 34st.com

VOTE FOR SENIOR SUPERLATIVES Nominations close Saturday and voting will open next week. Anyone can nominate or vote but only seniors can win. Find the form at 34st.com or go on Facebook, idiot. We all posted it there.

SHOUT BITCHES OUT It's that time of the year. Shoutouts season officially starts today. Find the form at 34st.com – you have until the 16th to get mean, dirty, complimentary or all–around freaky.

THEROUNDUP

over heard PENN at

It’s Hallo-coming at Penn this weekend, so in the spirit of the holiday, remember: a spooky stroll down Locust may scare you, but being in the Round Up will haunt you forever. Last Friday, Jeremih told us, “don’t tell ‘em,” but he should know that Highbrow can’t keep a secret. While performing on–campus, he grinded with a lucky freshman while serenading her. Things got h–o–t when Jeremih picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his torso. When the show ended, Jeremih followed the Yellow Brick Road to an Oz party. Sources tell us that the R&B singer paired off with another Penn student at the end of the night. It might not have been her birthday, but you know he wanted to ri–i–ide out. At a Castle BYO, someone was thirsty for something other than Franzia. One freshman girl apparently got a little bored of her junior date. Realizing she had other priorities, this little lady slipped out of dinner without saying goodbye...so she could go hook up with a different boy. Highbrow hears her date was left alone, dazed and confused. We applaud the future scenester for acting like a queen, even when she wasn’t even part of the Castle. Long may she reign. Sometimes it’s better to leave your past behind. During Family Weekend, one Penn parent got a little too enthusiastic when attending a frat party. The drunk dad shotgunned four beers—with his freshman son by his side. We’re sure he’s a cool dad, but maybe leave him at home next time you’re headed to a rush event. It’s embarrassing when your pops outdrinks you. A different kind of action went down this past weekend. At a Beige Block party, two bros interrupted some good ol’ alcohol–fueled fun. One A’s brother claimed to receive “a bad look” from a Phi Delt party–goer. He subsequently pounced on our Phi Delt friend, tackling him to the ground. Punches were thrown; blood was shed. Highbrow wonders, was this “look” one of lust? Or simply a resting bitch face? We have the same issue…

Curious Bro: He’s married to Amy Gutmann’s daughter? Is she even fertile? Sensible Young Man: When I was rushing Theos, I used to take SEPTA to downtowns all the time. Dumb Tutor: If he’s smarter than me, I’m going to have to sabotage him. Girl Heading to an Elmo Party: Men are stupid—I should just be a straight up lesbian, fuck bisexuality. Social Media Try– Hard: She deleted her Instagram because it only had 79 likes. 80 is her cutoff.

BY EMILY JOHNS Penn is a bubble. It is a college campus in the middle of an urban center. We are students in a campus that is older than the neighborhood around it; so old that the city has virtually grown around Penn. For many of us, it is easy to forget that we are actually residents of the city of Philadelphia, not just Penn. I am from Philadelphia; Mt. Airy to be specific, and I have friends all over the city. So, when I got into Penn, my friend gave me some advice: “Don’t get too annoyed when people assume they’re going to get shot if they go past 41st.” I have been all over the city—from Fox Chase to Old City to the Stadiums. Most of these places are sections of the city that Penn kids will never know exist. Many of these places are lovely neighborhoods—some of them are not. In any large city, Philadelphia in particular, it really just depends where you are. I know far better than to set foot in some parts of Southwest or North Philly, but I also know that the neighborhood surrounding Penn is one of the most desirable places to live in the city. The area is filled with middle–class families and young adults. Most Penn kids do not know any of these geographical nuances—they don’t need to. Philadelphia is not on Forbes’ list of the “Top 10 Most Dangerous Cities,” and in 2013, Chicago, New York and LA all had higher murder rates that Philly. Given that a large portion of Penn’s population draws from these cities, it's disorienting that these students are as afraid of a middle class neighborhood as they seem to be. One night the other week, a friend told me that he had felt unsafe walking up to 43rd Street to grab dinner that evening. I almost scolded him—I had made the same walk the night before and thought nothing of it. Most Penn students will only be in Philadelphia for four years, and I don’t really care how much of the city they see. However, I do care about the general attitude maintained on this campus about the city. You are not automatically going to get shot if you go past 41st Street. That doesn’t mean you should go gallivanting around by yourself in the middle of the night, but doing that in any major city is unsafe. University City is a good area, and we are lucky to be here. You should always be careful, but we could all benefit from being a little less afraid. O C T O B E R 3 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: OLIVIA ROUTE

Olivia is a girl of many interests: she’s Bloomers director, a head coordinator for PennQuest, a Friar and studies IR and Russian (with a minor in African Studies). Hailing from Alaska, she probably can’t see Russia from her house, but at least she can speak the language. Street: We hear you had a pretty unique abroad experience. What happened? Olivia Route: I studied abroad in Ukraine. It was amazing. I didn’t get to stay there very long, because of the war...They just bounced me around a little bit. I took this abroad “buffet tour” kind of thing. I went to a lot of meat and potatoes kind of countries. Street: Where? OR: Moldova, Kyrgyzstan, and Georgia...To this day, I’m not really sure why we moved to Georgia. We just went to Moldova briefly. The president [of Ukraine] fled, and so we went to Moldova for a week while the government settled down. It’s absurd. Street: And you’re a Russian major? What got you into that? OR: In middle school, I was taking a drama class that I really didn’t like and I was like, “Please, switch me out of this, anything is better.” And they switched me into Russian. Street: Do you want to go back that area of the world? OR: Definitely. I’m actually trying to get back next year, if at all possible. I may end up trying to do something to make money instead... but it would be nice to go back and really get language skills solidified and get work experience in the region. Street: What would you do there? OR: I’d like to be an aid 4

worker for children. There are a lot of displaced kids and refugee kids in the post– Soviet world in general. Street: Now that you’re back, what’s on your Penn bucket list? OR: I wouldn’t like this, but I haven’t pulled an all– nighter yet and I feel like that’s a very college thing to do. Actually...coming out of undergraduate being like “I never pulled an all nighter,” would be nice too. Street: What’s your favorite PennQuest moment? OR: When you see a freshman decide they’re comfortable. A lot of them come in and you can see them freaking out and watching everyone else and, I don’t know, there’s this moment...When you can see it, it’s the best thing ever. Street: When did you have that moment as a freshman? OR: We take these buses out to our trail sites, and the leaders stand at the front and lead really loud songs and everyone bounces around and screams. I got caught up in it...and just decided it didn’t matter who was looking at me funny or anything. Street: If PennQuest had a mascot, what would it be? OR: A bear, definitely. Black bear. They’re the most fierce. Street: Tell us about Bloomers. OR: It’s all female musical sketch comedy on campus. It’s kind of SNL–esque.

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Street: Do you guys have any fun traditions? OR: Yeah, yeah we do. Some of them are a little inappropriate...mostly just chants and stuff. We eat a lot of cookies. Street: What’s your favorite character you’ve played? OR: I’ve actually been a dinosaur a lot. Which is not so much a character, you don’t really have to do very much for it. Just put on the head. But I was a dinosaur in a show my freshman year, and the head has been back in probably every show since. At this point it’s kind of a punchline in our shows. Street: So you’re strutting down Locust—which song are you listening to? OR: Hall and Oates—"You Make My Dreams Come True." Street: If you could have a drink with anyone in history, who would it be? OR: I want to get a drink with a generation above the generation I’ve met in my family...I had a great–grandma who ran a farm entirely by herself. Street: What’s your secret to a good hair day? OR: I haven’t figured it out yet. It’s really hit or miss. I can do the same exact thing that I’ve done today and be like “Yes, today is the day!” and then it’s horrendous and I just put it in a bun and cry a little. Street: Who’s your current celebrity crush? OR: Matt Damon… I like him in the "Oceans" series

and obviously "Bourne." He’s just such a cool guy and is always trying to help humanity out. And he’s cute, so cute. Street: What’s your guilty pleasure? OR: Chocolate! Chocolate and reruns of "The Office" on Netflix. Street: What is your spirit animal? OR: An arctic fox. Street: If you are what you eat, what are you? OR: Quinoa stir–fry with mushrooms, carrots, peas and maybe some tofu if I’m getting feisty. Street: Are you a vegetarian? OR: Yes, unfortunately... Meat is so wonderful. Street: So...why are you a vegetarian? OR: Cooking meat just freaks me out...I do it because it makes me feel better. Street: What was the first concert you ever went to? OR: A capella as a kid. Street: What’s the best thing you’ve ever found in a thrift store? OR: These clogs! Clogs are popular in Alaska…I don’t know where it came from but lots and lots of people wear them. The cool thing at my high school was to wear clogs with your jeans cuffed. Street: What’s the weather like at home? OR: Where I live, Anchor-

age, isn’t so bad. Probably, in an average winter, the worst it’s probably is –5 or –10 (Ed. note: Um, BRR!) But there’s always the wind–chill factor...We have a couple of days of 80 every year...People lie on their lawns under their sprinklers. Or sometimes it just rains all summer. Street: Can you tell us a joke? OR: A man walks into a bar—ouch.

EGO

Supposedly, Philadelphia is one the most haunted cities in America. Street took a tour (info below) of the Old City haunts to hear the ghost stories behind them—all based on numerous accounts. Don’t believe them? Go see–ance for yourself. Independence Hall: According to the night watchmen, many of the Founding Fathers still haunt the building. They may have declared the country independent from England, but they certainly won’t let the city be independent of their spirits. So what’s scarier: Independence Hall or Capitol Hill?

Washington Square Park: Washington Square Park is built on top of a mass grave of over 2000 soldiers and Native Americans. Before it was built, rampant grave robbing of body parts occurred in these “plague pits.” Morbid, right? The woman who guarded these bodies thought so, too. Dressed in all black, she still haunts the park. But totally still a great place for a picnic.

Chestn ut

Library Hall: In 1790, Benjamin Franklin founded this institution. This was allegedly one of his favorite spots—probably because he had the hots for one of the librarians. No joke: a woman working there late at night in the 1880’s claims his ghost pinched her butt. Apparently, the statue of him moves as well.

Locust

Carpenters’ Hall: In 1798, over $160,000 was stolen from the vaults here. One of the suspects, an inhabitant of the Hall, was arrested but soon after released. A week later, his corpse was found in his room after he supposedly contracted yellow fever in jail. To this day, the smell of decomposed flesh sporadically pervades the building.

Walnut Bishop White House: The Yellow Fever Epidemic of 1793 claimed over lives 5,000 lives in Philadelphia, including some of those who resided in Reverend White’s house. Park rangers claim apparitions of a man, a housekeeper and a cat frequent the premises (Are they sure they’re not just seeing kids sneaking into the garden to smoke?).

City Tavern: In 1834, a bride and several bridesmaids burned alive in a fire that destroyed the building. Even though it reopened in 1976, visitors who dine in the restaurant today claim to have seen the phantom bride appear in photos and put out candles due her dislike of fire. A waiter who died in a duel on the premise also haunts restaurant–goers.

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: It was 11 p.m. on a Friday, and the line went around the block. You saw all of your friends in line—people who had been bragging about getting their ticket since day one. Scalpers were yelling that they were selling tickets for $200 a pop. The concert sold out as soon as it was announced. For those who don’t know, the headliner was a Norwegian dude named Kyrre Gørvell– Dahll, better known as Kygo. Who? Bear in mind, he didn’t only sell out at Penn, but all over the nation, including multiple stints in LA and New York. If you weren’t there when the 23–year–old DJ came to Philly’s Union Transfer, then you missed out on something spectacular. Having millions of fans on SoundCloud is one thing, but mixing in front of a jam–packed audience that The Women’s CommiTTee of The Penn museum PresenTs

knows all the lyrics to all your songs and is ready to dance like crazy is a whole other deal. Many predict that Kygo will emerge this year as the next EDM superstar, reaching the ranks of headlining festivals like Ultra and Tomorrowland. That could very well be true, but in the meantime, if you're one of the few Penn students not listening to him yet, it’s time to catch up. After all, what’s not to like? You’ll find remixes of some of your favorite artists’ most popular songs, ranging from Rihanna to Dolly Parton to The xx to Ed Sheeran. If you like to dance, then “Younger,” “Sexual Healing” and “Cut Your Teeth” are for you. If you’re in the mood for Ellie Goulding or Coldplay, listen to “High For This” or “Midnight.” Everyone seems to already be a fan: hardcore EDM ravers, acoustic devotees and dancing freak alike. The reason why I’m reluctant to crown Kygo EDM’s next prodigy is because that sounds too limited. He sells out all around the country—and abroad—because his music is a lot more accessible and relatable than that of other DJs and their repetitive beats. Even non–EDM fans will appreciate how he turns sad songs into

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dance tunes and adds tropical house energy to a lot of his work. It’s catchy and mesmerizing all at once. And whether they like it or not, they’ve probably learned all of the lyrics to his songs ahead of time without even realizing. Kygo remixes an eclectic variety of tracks, and because he blends the emotional lyrics of singers and songwriters with deep house melodies, his songs manage to be fun and buoyant while still holding onto what made the original tracks popular in the first place. It’s hard to pick a favorite, and it’s even harder to describe what it’s like to hear him play in front of crowds of people raising their hands and mouthing every lyric. Kygo’s music is suitable for any mood at any time of day. It’s not too overwhelming for the daylight, and it has the capability to keep you on your feet for hours until the sun rises. You hear his music at our pregames, he’s a casual enough artist to play during a kickback with friends, but his music is still as great when you’re alone. Despite his age, he’s not “up–and–coming” or “on the rise.” No, he’s already well up there, and he deserves it, given his knack for adding EDM rhythm to poetry. There’s a reason why Penn loves him so much already. CAROLINE MARQUES

MUSIC

GET READY FOR Happy Halloween! Street Music sat down with Penn’s very own Oscar Mattsson (C'15)—head coordinator of the sold out MADEON @ The Halloween Mansion event on October 30th—to talk about the planning involved for the upcoming show. Read the entire interview online at 34st. com. Street: Where did the idea come from? Oscar Mattsson: One of the brothers of St. A’s has family affiliated with the First City Troupe, which owns the 23rd Street Armory. We were interested in throwing a party, but when we saw the space back in August, it was huge! Way beyond the scope of what we normally handle. We realized it could be a great idea if we pulled some fraternities and worked together. An added bonus is that we give all proceeds to charity. Street: So which fraternities are in on this? OM: It’s St. Anthony Hall, SAE, Castle, Kappa Sig, Beta and Zete. First City Troupe itself is also a part of the planning and fundraising of the event. Street: And how did you choose the charities? OM: The charities we came to consensus on are Ben Cohen’s StandUp, RAINN, and Philabundance. StandUp is an anti–bullying campaign focusing on LGBT issues, RAINN helps prevent rape and educates against rape culture and Philabundance is the largest food bank in the Delaware valley and does amazing work for the hungry. They are ones that we also think, in general, are underrepresented within the fraternity space. Often times you will hear about sororities

him, but from what I have heard he is an incredibly nice guy and he is not in a rush to get out of the area. The concert is supposed to be on the early side of the night – we are opening our doors at 8 PM. We will have openers and closers. It’s not just a concert. There are drinks at bars and tables for sale.

OM: We sold 2000 tickets in five days and we currently have 400 people on the waiting list.

Street: Are tickets sold out already?

Street: How often did you meet cross–fraternity?

Street: Why throw this? OM: For $30 a ticket, we can provide an international artist in a unique space that demonstrates solidarity of on campus fraternities. All the profit goes to charity.

OM: We met at the least once a week. It was usually the President and social chair of each fraternity. Planning this has usually been three hours a day, every day—contracting, approving posters, maintaining social media presence. I have been incredibly invested because I believe that it will be a cool event, and I enjoy doing it. But it would not be possible without everyone involved.

throwing charity events, but won’t associate a fraternity with philanthropy. Also, some of the brothers have involvement with these charities on a personal level, so we know that the money would make a difference. Street: What about the artist? Why did you choose Madeon? OM: We found a buying agent that we could trust and were working with an incredibly short time frame. This is the first time that Halloween will be on a Friday in seven years, and booking agencies have done more booking for this Friday than for the last three New Years combined. The buying agent presented us with names until we were able to change Madeon’s routing so that we are the unofficial first stop on his tour. Street: He’s got an album dropping in the near future—is Madeon going to perform some of his new songs? OM: Yes. It’s really cool that we will have him because we will be some of the first people to hear his new album. In a year or two, maybe people will brag, “Madeon played at Penn.” Street: Do you think people will be able to meet him after the show? OM: Contractually it’s up to O C T O B E R 3 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

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"1989"—Taylor Swift

Film polled you to find out how you are getting your Sunday afternoon movie fixes. Here’s what we learned. BY ANTHONY KHAYKIN

hough we all know the watch Hugo in theaters. AndIfwe you forever guess then thattoPenn anyone’s bound win stuin Internet is for porn fit this mold of overworkedpop Ivy music, dentsit’s would prefer to get their Taylor Swift. Coun(thanks Avenue Q), the League students well, with only online free try flairRomCom is a thing fiofx the pastwith as she bedroom is no longer the only about 17% of Penn undergrads streaming websites like SideReel embraces pure pop with “1989.” She area being ceded to digital terri- watching movies at the Ravegives ev- plenty and Ch131 rather on thanopener pay for of warning tory. For every girl with daddy’s ery semester. services provided by Netfl and “Welcome to New York” as she ix proAmEx, window browsing on But how about the otherclaims ste- atop Redbox? its twinkling synths, “it’s Fifth Avenue has been replaced reotype, the one that says allacolWhile 75% of us watch new soundtrack; I could dancemovto with online shopping. And lege students are poor? The free ies online, nearly 50% pay for this beat.” On the ‘80s pop–inspired FYEs everywhere have virtu- movement of information made it. I hear Horrible Bosses — a “Out of the Woods” or the breathy ally been rendered useless (pun possible by the interweb makes new release on iTunes — is hysdelight “Wildest Dreams,” it’s clear intended) with the existence of terical, but is that doing what she wants and Whose recommendations do youshe’s take? the multifarious iTunes store. it worth the is doing it quite well. Imogen Heap 50 Things are no different here 1.5 salads at 47.7% Other lends crisp, angelic backing vocals to at Penn, where the Rave gets Sweetgreen 40% 40 “Clean” in anA Friend unexpecteditcollaboranearly half the traffic for the would tion. The only missteps Cinema Studies in the set are midnight screenings of blockhave cost if 30 Major 26.2% 25% 25% lead single “Shake It Off”I and buster hits like Twilight as Hulu had “Bad seen it Professor or TA 20 Blood,” which both sound undoes the day after the newest in like theaters? Street inspired cheerleader chants. Overall, episode of 30 Rock airs. This Ramen noo10 *Students surveyed were it’s not so much of amore change for Swift allowed to choose makes sense. We Penn students dles aren’t Grade: A– than one option. as it is a well–earned deep dive into I 0 are Download: too busy “Style” procrastinating that bad, the sound she's only been toying on Penn InTouch and designguess. Sounds best when: Burning pictures of ex–lovers with for years. ing funny lacrosse pinnies for entertainment accessible and The average Penn student whilst going down on a tub of dulce de leche ice cream. the clubs we’re involved in to inexpensive to anyone with an (who is anything but average, if KATRINA MURRAY leave the comfort of our beds to AirPennNet account. Wouldn’t you ask Amy Gutmann) watch-

How Penn Students Watch Movies Borrow from Library

24.6%

Don't Watch Movies Theaters

Free Streaming 47.7% Since no one will 16.9% want to listenPaid to Online “Monster Services Mash” at a Halloween party because we’re no longer in fourth grade, here are a few hits that 9.2% will subtly carry forth the creepy holiday spirit.

1.5% Creepy Lyric: “Even wrote the song ‘Dreams’ for you.” you sweet go tothat theCole movies? ItWhy mightdosound wrote a song for the girl on3.1% the seemingly straightforward love ballad, but “Dreams” 6.3% Other of a girl he barely is actually about killing the boyfriend knows so that he can convenientlyIt's console a way to and hang then out withmarry friends her.25% This is exactly40.6% why you shouldn’t let that girl from your It's a good study break freshman hall read those drunk poems you wrote.

25%

It makes you feel relaxed and happy Required for Class

Lyric: “You run, better run, outrun my gun.” esCreepy seven movies, morebetter or less, While you probably played this song all summer long back every semester. Simple arithme2012,that you it’s probably never realized it was about a school ticinproves $40 cheaper toshooting. watch said“Run movies on run” Netflisn’t ix Penn Relay encouragement. better than at the Rave, and an additional $20 less on iTunes (cost of popcorn and Mike and Ikes Creepy Lyric: it’s a weeping, and a moaning, and a not included in “Well these calculagnashing of teeth.” tions). The low cost of watchWhile dancehall legend ing seventhe movies on iTunes forFuzzy Jones sample that plays >> Total amount of throughout may just sound less than 30 bucks is worth thelike background noise, it’s acmoney spent in movie tuallyconveniences a reference to many thata Bible onlineverse “describing the plight of theaters* by Penn paid services not be- in the Van Pelt basement durthose sent toafford Hell.”us:Weeping students each semester ing incessant inginterrupted finals week isbyclose enough. You know hardship. buffering and commercials, the immunity to computer viruses and most importantly, not having to wait 54 minutes after >> Total amount of watching 72 minutes of a movie Lyric: “Every breath you take, spent every move you money watching onCreepy Megavideo. make, bondit’s youa small break, every step ifyou I’llwho be online, all take, people Not toevery mention, watching paid for online services price to payyou.” when you look at This gets at weddingsused and everyone iTunes* thinks it’s the big song picture —played the combined sweet,ofbuttheit’s47.7% actually savings of about Penn a guy stalking a girl and her every breath. it what it is, Sting. students who payCall for their online services rather than going to the movie theater is somewhere between $196,136 and $295,344, >> Total amount of Creepy Lyric: “He’s never gonna need another” / “Maybe I depending on whether they use money spent watching could teach him, respectively. too” Netfl ix or iTunes, online, if all people who Buried story relationship is a hidden Moral of in thethe story is: of weevery won'thappypaid for online services fear ifofyou non–reciprocation. shows us that when judge just stay in bed. Fiona Apple used Netflix* all else fails, at least we can turn to murder. Maybe this is why so manyrandom people atsample Penn choose not to date. *A simple *$12.50/ticket at the Rave of 100 Penn undergrads were *$3.99 to rent a movie on iTunes surveyed to collect data about *$7.99/month on Netflix their film viewing habits.

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FILM & TV

I AY

Check out these Halloween movie marathons:

ABC Family’s “13 Nights of Halloween” wraps up on Friday with “Poltergeist,” “Dark Shadows,” “Beetlejuice” and “Casper" from 2 p.m. to 11 p.m.

Looking for something scarier? Syfy’s “31 Days of Halloween” wraps up with “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” (the 1974 and the 2003 versions back to back) followed by “Halloween II." If the “Halloween” series is your favorite, check out AMC’s Fearfest, where “Halloween” through “Halloween 6: The Curse of Mike Myers” will be on all day Friday and into the night.

Check out these scary classics streaming on Netflix.

“Silence of the Lambs”

“Rosemary’s Baby”

“The Blair Witch Project”

GOING OFF–CAMPUS?

On Halloween night, Not–So– Silent Cinema will perform a live score of the silent 1922 film “Nosferatu” at PhilaMOCA at 7:30 and 10 p.m. Yesterday, the PFS Roxy theatre began hosting Sinister Cinema, showing a diverse series of horror films for your viewing pleasure. Until Saturday night, the theatre will screen films like “Night of the Living Dead” and “Halloween.”

Location: PFS Roxy Theater, 2023 Sansom St. Check out the website for tickets and more details: http://filmadelphia. org/events/sinistercinema/

Join alums in town for Homecoming to see to see “The Phantom of the Opera” with live organ accompaniment in Irvine Auditorium. Friday, October 31st 4 P.M. and 7 P.M. Free and open to the public. L

O ON OK CA ING M T PU O S? ST A

Location: PhilaMOCA, 510 N. 12th St. Tickets: $10 in advance, $12 at the door Check out the website for tickets and more details: www.philamoca.org

If you’re hitting theatres, check out these films opening on Halloween:

“Before I Go to Sleep,” starring Nicole Kidman as a woman who wakes up every morning with no memory of her life.

Daniel Radcliffe stars in “Horns,” sprouting the growths after his girlfriend’s death.

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FILM & TV

Happy Homecoming Quakers! Those of you that won’t be watching Penn’s football team play Brown on Saturday afternoon should darty all day and bingewatch the following TV shows and movies all night for a proper Homecoming fix.

CAMI POTTER

TV SHOWS I’m Schmacked We’ve all watched this YouTube series, and we’ve all wished we went to a football school afterwards. Only on Homecoming weekend would this “film” be worthy of Film and TV section status. Best of luck getting schmacked this weekend. Watch it on YouTube.

Halloween is for beer

Blue Mountain State This hilarious 2010–2011 series depicts the lives of the “Mountain Goats” football players as they football hard and party harder. If the football team loses? Party away the sadness. If the football team wins? Party in celebration. Watch all three seasons on Netflix. Coach “Coach,” a 1990s TV series, stars Craig T. Nelson as the head coach of the Minnesota State Screaming Eagles, who spends all of his time deriving plays and whipping his team into shape. Spoiler Alert: they win the national championship as the underdog team, and it will give you chills. What could be more incredible than watching your team bring home a championship ring? Watch all nine seasons on Netflix.

Friday Night Lights (The TV Show) “Friday Night Lights” follows a football team in a small West Texas town that eats, sleeps and breathes football. On game days in Dillon, you can be sure that everybody you encounter will be wearing team colors and apparel. The passion for the team goes way beyond its players. Speaking of Homecoming, this TV show is based on a book of the same name by Penn alum Buzz Bissinger (C ’76). Watch all five seasons on Netflix.

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Glee “Glee” centers around several characters who play football and sing in the glee club, duh.The football players are bigger celebrities than any actual famous person. But, they also sit next to you in math class and sing in your a cappella group. Swoon (at the ones that aren’t homophobic bullies). Plus, who wouldn’t want to watch a football team do the “Single Ladies” dance? Watch seasons one through four on Netflix and season five on Hulu.

F E AT U R E

Out of the 10,000 undergraduate students at Penn, 17 participate in the Naval Reserve Officers Training Corps, or NROTC. In addition to a normal Penn curriculum, NROTC participants—or “midshipmen,” as they’re called—undergo a rigorous program that will help them prepare for mandatory service in the United States Navy and Marine Corps. While most students rarely venture out from underneath the covers before 8 a.m., midshipmen rise as early as 4:30 in the morning for drills, physical training or naval science class. Instead of internships in finance or journalism, they spend their summers on aircraft carriers or submarines. And after graduation, they enter the Navy or the Marine Corps as commissioned officers to protect and serve the United States of America. But midshipmen are more than just future submariners, pilots and Navy SEALs. They are volleyball players and PennQuest leaders. They sing in a cappella groups and build sets for Mask & Wig. They are your recitation TAs, your sorority sisters, your teammates. They are, in every respect, a Penn student just like you. A Penn student whose post– grad plans involve becoming a member of one of the world’s most powerful militaries. But you’d never hear Julie Roland, Peter McGuckin, Tess Burns, Louis Petro and the rest of their battalion brag about it. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to miss them.

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F E AT U R E

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F E AT U R E

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F E AT U R E

Midshipmen

Candidates

Mary Brass Tess Burns Liam Keenan Peter McGuckin Lydia Miller Nadia Ogene Louis Petro Julie Roland Matthew Weber

Alexander Andalia Robert Dowling Leah Hammaker Colin Luzzi William Morrison Elaine Smith Dominick Vaske Nicole Weldon

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FILM & TV

MOVIES MOVIES Forrest Gump “Forrest Gump” is an epic story about several eventful decades in one man’s life. Forrest finds himself playing for Alabama’s football team, becoming one of their star players. Even though this classic is more often remembered for philosophizing about a box of chocolates, the football scenes make us wish we Roll Tided. Watch it on Netflix.

Rudy “Rudy” is the story of Daniel “Rudy” Ruetigger, a boy who overcame tremendous obstacles, chased his dreams and ended up playing football at Notre Dame. “Rudy” reminds us never to give up on our dreams. As that “Rudy!” chant roars in one of the final scenes of the movie, we wish we could be cheering along in the bleachers for this titular underdog. Watch it on Netflix. The Comebacks “The Comebacks” is a satirical spoof on typical sports movies. Directed by an imposter Tom Brady, “The Comebacks” follows a piteous coach as he tries to create a strong football team from a group of non– athletes who don't know the first thing about the sport. Watch it on Amazon Instant Video.

We Are Marshall Based on the true story of the plane crash that killed 37 football players on the racially–divided Marshall University Thundering Herd, “We Are Marshall” follows the rebuilding of a team post–tragedy. Everyone comes together to cheer for the same team, reminding audiences how teams can unite groups of people in the worst of times. Watch it on iTunes. Necessary Roughness (The Movie) “Necessary Roughness” is a sports comedy that stars members of the Texas State Fighting Armadillos. After a series of scandals, Coach “Straight Arrow” must put together a new team. In one epic scene, the coach puts female soccer star Lucy Draper on the team. Lucy proves girls are more than just confused spectators, who can be not only big fans but also key players. Yeah, women! Watch it on Amazon Instant Video.

The Waterboy Adam Sandler’s role as a water boy turned all–star linebacker is a comedic story of unexpected heroism. At a big school, even the water boys are super important. “The Waterboy” gives all of us NARPs hope that we can be part of a celebrated team without ever being tackled. Watch it on Amazon Instant Video. O C T O B E R 3 0 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5

FOOD & DRINK

Trick or Treat.... We like beets, and veggies, lamb and other meats. That said it's Halloweenier Street, So food and Drink does sweets this week.

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POINT: CHOCOLATE Chocolate...? CHOCOLATEEEEEE!!! Let’s start by making one thing very clear: candy and chocolate are not the same thing. Chocolate is special. It’s unique. Chocolate is smooth and rich and sweet and delicious. Chocolate speaks to the soul. From the basic Hershey’s Kiss, all the way to gourmet designer chocolate truffles from the Swiss Alps, there is nothing else like it. Among chocolate syrup, chocolate bars, chocolate spread and hot chocolate, there is always something to fill that craving. Think for a second about candy. Sometimes it's too sweet and sometimes it's too sour. Sometimes the consistency or the flavor is disgusting (Ed. note: looking at you, black licorice) and just think about the disgusting way it gets stuck in the back of your teeth. But chocolate is different. Chocolate will never betray you and get stuck in your teeth. It will always melt into perfection. Chocolate is also important because it has more practical purposes than just savoring. You don’t make skittles cookies or gummy bear cookies. Sure there are butterscotch cookies, but like…it’s butterscotch. The best kind of cookie is hands down the chocolate chip cookie. It’s the steak and potatoes of the cookie world. Why is that? Because it has chocolate in it. Duh. It’s the same way with ice cream. Yes, it's true that your six–year–old cousin swears by Baskin–Robbins’ blue raspberry sherbet with Nerds in it. Ask any normal person though, and you’ll find that the most popular flavors—all of which contain that one special ingredient—are Mint Chocolate Chip, Cookies and Cream, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Rocky Road, Mocha... and, wait for it, the all–time most popular flavor of ice cream: CHOCOLATE! Not to mention, chocolate has special chemicals that release endorphins into the brain. It actually makes you happier. It’s science. Candy can’t compete with science. All candy does is give you cavities. At least with chocolate, you’ll be happy while you get cavities. Chocolate can also lower blood pressure and be used as an aphrodisiac. After all, what do you usually buy your girlfriend for Valentines Day? Let’s just say she doesn't want to be licking any lollipops… SAM RUBENSTEIN

FOOD & DRINK

COUNTERPOINT: CANDY In the famous words of Aaron Carter...I WANT CANDYYY! Newsflash: Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory made a hell of a lot of candy, too. While Everlasting Gobstoppers and Three–Course–Dinner Gum may be the stuff of childrens' movies, the candy off which it’s based is real—and really delicious. To say that candy is better than chocolate is a controversial stance. Before you even ask—yes, chocolate is a type of candy, but that’s beside the point. There’s a difference and you damn well know it. Chocolate is a one–trick pony, but there is no limit to where candy can take you. Candy encompasses every taste and texture. Flavors range from fruity to minty, from caramel to whatever candy corn is supposed to resemble

#STREEEATS Truffles with a spooky twist

(for this small period of time around Halloween—and only this short time—it’s addicting). For the sweet tooth, there are gummy bears, Skittles and Jolly Ranchers. For those craving a sour pucker there are War Heads, Sour Patch Kids and Zours (RIP). Red Vines are firm and tough, Pixy Stix are edible powder. Taffy is chewy, lollipops hard. Now and Laters? They’re both. There's a candy for whatever mood you may be in. Who can say that about boring old chocolate? Ultimately, there are few joys that beat entering a candy store, arming yourself with a small plastic bag and filling it to your hearts content with colorful confections. There’s a reason joy-

ful experiences are, quite literally, compared to being “a kid in a candy shop.” Surrounded by bins filled with colorful sweets of all varieties, you’re equipped with the rare opportunity to create your very own medley. No restrictions, no limits—if you want one of every flavor of Jelly Belly, plus a peach ring and a handful of Sour Patch Watermelons, you can make it happen. If you want a bag full of Tootsie Rolls, that’s possible too. When you’re talking candy, you’re talking pure possibility. Forrest Gump got it all wrong... life is like a bag of candy and you never know what you're going to get. But it's gonna taste awesome. NICOLE MALICK

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Ingredients 10 ounces bittersweet chocolate (or any chocolate you prefer) 1/2 cup heavy cream Assorted halloween sprinkles and decorations Directions • Place a glass bowl over a pot filled with about 2 inches of water. • Put the chocolate and heavy cream in the glass bowl and simmer the water, allowing the chocolate to melt slowly until combined and smooth. • Place the chocolate mixture in the fridge for an hour to let harden. Remove from fridge and scoop small balls of the chocolate, roll into a round shape and then into the sprinkles. Decorate as elaborately as you’d like.

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FOOD & DRINK

FEEL LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE AGAIN...

Shane Confectionery 110 Market Street (215) 922-1048 www.shanecandies.com @ShanesCandies

Like both candy and chocolate? Shane Confectonery is the store for you. Shane Confectionery transports you to the 19th century and makes you never want to leave. Located on 110 Market St., this candy store is one of the oldest in the country and continues to make its sweet treats using 100+ year old recipes. The store is quaint, with chocolate confections located on one side and candy treats on the other. Men in bow ties, striped vests and the occasional top hat are behind the counters helping you choose from the enormous array of sweet delights. The store is famous for their Buttercreams, sweet–cream–filled chocolate shells that range from traditional flavors such vanilla and chocolate to more seasonal ones like mint and pumpkin. All of their chocolate candies are offered in both dark and milk chocolate; there is truly something there for everyone. When the store changed ownership in 2010, the new owners decided to add a few confections of their own to the menu, including the Whirly Berley Bar, a salted caramel and chocolate treat definitely

Homecoming Brunch featuring $3 Craft Beers $3 Mimosas $3 Bloody Mary’s

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worth trying (Ed. note: GET IT.). The store also specializes in seasonal fudges, which they only sell from spring to fall and constantly change in flavor. Right now they’re serving up pumpkin and pumpkin–maple–walnut fudge, perfect for everyone’s basic pumpkin fix needs. Shane Confectionary also houses plenty of candy treats, if you’re one of those people who doesn’t like chocolate. Homemade licorice, gummy candies and their famous “clear toys” made from sugar and corn syrup and molded into seasonal shapes, can satisfy any sugar craving. The store prepackages some of their treats for a quick pickup and also allows you to make your own boxes of varying sizes and prices, and take home an assortment of all they have to offer. These make the perfect birthday or holiday gifts for the sweet obsessed in your life. And if you haven’t quite hit a sugar coma once you leave, you can always stop next door for some ice cream from Franklin Fountain… ALYSSA BERLIN

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ARTS

DAVID LYNCH: THE UNIFIED FIELD The Love/Hate Relationship of Philadelphia and David Lynch

Historic Landmark Building, Galleries 8, 9, 10 and Morris Gallery Runs until January 11, 2015

Philly’s Best Wings!

Twin Peaks creator David Lynch has finally returned to PAFA— the place where he started his career. His love for art isn’t as well known as his career in filmmaking, but his masterpieces in this exhibition deserve to be celebrated. Lynch has here assembled around 90 of his works from 1965 to 2014. The result is perturbing and riveting. Many of his earlier works, made in Philadelphia during the 1960s, he credits to the influences of the City of Brotherly Love, which he found to be “dirty, insane and corrupt” (though he says that the city has drastically improved). Nevertheless, he still calls the Philadelphia of the 1960s his muse. He found the industrial wrecks and the urban deterioration to be a huge source of inspiration. The way Lynch paints human bodies creates entrancing, often complex narratives. All of his depictions are scenes of childhood memories, nightmares, intense emotions and passions. Many of his paintings include childlike scribbles and chilling three–dimensional faces that pop out of the canvases. The pieces conjecture incredible stories. Considering the haunting style of one of his early films, “Six Men Getting Sick” (1967), in relation to his drawings and paintings present a powerful blurring of visual art and film. Though this is his first major art exhibition in the US, he’s proven himself to be a master of more than the moving image.

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ARTS

I love holidays—at Christmas I go overboard with cutting snowflakes and hanging lights, and on Valentine’s Day I write love letters to my housemates. But in the past, carving pumpkins has led only to painful cuts and disappointment. I inevitably slice my hand at some point and I have to make an impromptu trip to CVS for band– aids. And then when I’m done, I’m almost never fully satisfied with the outcome—the face is never scary enough and the cuts are messy. With my ineptitude with a knife in mind, I chose to try “non–carve” pumpkin decorating this year. Armed with just a paintbrush, I drew inspiration from one of my favorite artists, Yayoi Kusama. Summed up in one sentence, Yayoi Kusama is an 82–year–old badass Japanese artist who, among other things, organized public orgies in her youth and is famed for her obsession with polka dots. She's the kind of kook who's lived, voluntarily, in a mental hospital in Tokyo for the past 30 years. The whole endeavor took me three and half hours. While this may seem absurd, I have to say I don’t regret a second of the arduous process—it served as therapy of sorts. The lengthy time period is on account of obstacles I was forced to overcome. For starters, did you know you can’t use washable kid’s paint directly on a pumpkin? I didn’t. This meant I had to unearth the primer I had bought for a Fine Art class two years ago (one of the benefits of being a hoarder). After priming the pumpkin, it took two coats of yellow– orange paint mix for me to be satisfied with the pumpkin’s new hue. After watching paint dry for about five minutes, I opted to dry the paint with a hairdryer to minimally speed up the process. Next came the dots. My original plan of using a sharpie fell through when I found the sharpie on the not–quite–yet–dry paint didn’t work. Instead, I had to unearth ink from the aforementioned art class and paint each dot on. While my wrist hurt by the end, I am proud of my pumpkin masterpiece…I probably won’t do it again though. Still, for now, I have a spooky, kooky pumpkin to call my own. Do you? CIARA STEIN

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LOWBROW

Unlike most psychics, we made all this up.

Forsooth, tis the future I can see. Life is never a breeze -Edgar Allen Poe Episode 142: Raven and Corey have a fight and Raven tells Corey to stay our of her room; Corey sneaks in anyways only to find the body of Raven's former lover positioned in her favorite rocking chair.

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Episode 234: Raven is asked to a school function by two different guys. But she sees herself on her death bed and realizes that she will indeed die alone, emotionless and spent. Episode 302: Raven sees a brutal murder of a loved one in her vision and while she is powerless to stop it, she dresses up as a sassy highway patrol man complete with fat suit and fake mustache. Fun for the whole family.

Episode 334: Raven, Eddie and Chelsea must dress up in costumes to con their way into the senior prom, but what they did not realize was the mask was more than a mask. They had already been concealing their true natures to the world as they hid their lust for the sins of the flesh. Episode 456: Haunted by visions, Raven realizes that there is no afterlife; that the mortal world is the end. As she slowly goes insane, she hears the squeaking of a bird, "nevermore, nevermore." And with her last breath replies, "That's me."

LOWBROW

HOROSCOPES FOR NOVEMBER HOW CAN I TELL IF SHE'S FAKING IT

Find out what you are doing next month. Ostensibly.

Aries

Sure, your psychic says she's reaching across the great divide to gaze into worlds unknown. But how can you know if she's really getting there? Here are a few handy tips.

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Seeing into the future is a physical experience. If she’s really communing with the spirit realm, your psychic should be hot and sweating, and her whole body should be tensing up. Don’t be fooled by a lot of moaning and screaming. Just because she’s shouting the name of your deceased grandfather doesn’t mean she’s really peering through the veil of death . If she’s spending a lot of time fidgeting with her Ouija board, it might mean that something’s not going quite right. Make sure you’re giving the dial the attention it deserves, and that she’s not doing all the work. Summoning the spirits isn’t as loud and flashy as you may have seen on the Internet. If your psychic is acting like she’s Madame Esme and putting on a big show, maybe she’s trying a little too hard. If you think your psychic is faking, don’t panic and don’t blame yourself. Sometimes, your chakras just aren’t fitting together right. It happens to every guy, and you and psychic can work through it together. Possibly with a dildo.

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Keep the eyes of love open, for Saturn’s moons will open the doors of the heart on the 15th. Not around the 15th—on the 15th. At 5 p.m. at that weird arcade your friends dragged you to. His name will be Jim. He is in some frat, I forget which one, but he seems really nice. He also plays the trumpet, which is quirky and different. You will date for a little over three months. You feel bad breaking up with him because you really like his mom, Annie. But the heart wants what it wants. Business opportunities will come with the waxing moon. But not for you. For that guy Robert in accounting. Yeah, he is always stealing your hummus out of the fridge, but your boss doesn’t know that. Plus he managed the Henderson account, but we all know you were really the backbone of that restructuring.

Libra

Run. Run now. They’re already coming. Drop the magazine or computer, and run as fast and as far as you can.

Scorpio

Sagittarius

As the twins, duality is always in your stars. Unfortunately, in this case, you're headed for a really weird threesome. You’re going to feel sort of headachey and tired on the morning of the 23rd, and it’s probably nothing, but it might be the start of a flu, so you’ll call in sick just in case. You will make several ebola jokes. None will be funny.

You will soon be travelling across the sea...Oh did we say sea? We meant body of water. It’s a lake. You are going to Minnesota.

Capricorn

Aquarius

As you are in the house of the rising sun, get that banjo out. It’s open mic night.

Virgo

Try a new hobby for the upcoming month. The hobby is going to be hot yoga. You are gonna hate it. You will slowly realize that women who are into hot yoga are also the worst and your knees do not actually bend that way. You will give up that hobby and just order Grubhub and watch John Oliver.

Pices

Be careful: Jupiter is rising and that means family trouble. We all know Uncle Sammy likes to have a little too much to drink, and at Thanksgiving he’s going to make a bunch of off– color jokes and share his opinion of “the blacks” while everybody cringes and hopes he’ll just shut up. And then Lindsey is going to have to get in a fight with him, because Lindsey just can’t let anything go. Wow, good for you Lindsey, we’re all really proud that you took a sociology class. You will meet a mysterious stranger when he stops to ask you for directions. You will not give him accurate directions. He will wind up in the wrong food court, and be very disappointed that there is no Panda Express. Mercury is falling in your sign, so watch out, because your deadbeat ex–boyfriend is going to hit you up for a “short–term loan” to “invest” in his nouveau Indonesian food truck that only cooks with sustainable, locally–grown artichokes. He’s from Connecticut and knows nothing about Indonesian food. Like, what the fuck is he thinking? He really needs to get his life together. In the upcoming weeks you will be invited to submit a shoutout. You will. #synergy

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B AC K PAG E

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