October 3, 2013 by 34th Street Magazine

October 3rd, 2013 34st.com

The

Real Estate

You are where you live.

sick @ penn + fake thought catalog + best covers

october 3 LOL

3 highbrow

2013

the round–up, word on the street: weed, overheards, tweets illustrated

4 EGO

ego of the week, guide to being sick at penn

LOL

7 MUSIC

covers better than the original, album reviews, music hacks

10 film & TV

b-roll, movie reviews, food and film, netflix pick of the week

12 feature

the real estate

16 FOOD & dRINK

point/counterpoint chipotle scarecrow ad, Q&A with bon apetit chefs

LOL

FROMtheEDITOR

teatime Heads up: objectivity is not in my lexicon this week. Kitchens have come into our arena. My kitchen is my happy place. It is tiny—knock down the wall between two toilet stalls and you’d equal my square footage. I don’t even have a microwave, so this is nothing fancy, but it’s mine. When I moved off campus sophomore year, my grandmother asked me what I wanted as a housewarming gift. I said a kettle. I make tea on the reg. I am one hundred and fifty–five percent behind off–campus housing. It’s true—if I went to UVA, I’d probably say I’m deadest on scoring one of those crypt–like Lawn rooms, but I didn’t, so I’m not. 58% of students may choose to stay in dorms (p. 12), but 58% of people say they’d pick their TVs over social media, too.

Granted, this isn’t Beverly Hills 19104. Living in West Philly on your own has its downsides. You never expected to take in a pet mouse or fall asleep to Copa lullabies. But the glories of a PennCard–free life are endless. Ahhh, I feel liberated just thinking about them. There are a lot of things you can do to make Penn housing feel cozier: turn bowls into speakers and get down with friends, get a gaming system (p. 10) that kicks ass, it’s your life. I stand by my case: there’s nothing better than a little Earl Grey when you’ve paid the heating bill.

Come and get your 'Nut.

19 arts

contrapossto: penn museum, figment festival, artist profile

22 lowbrow thought catalog

24 backpage

penn dorms through the years

Writers' Meeting. Tonight @ 6:30 4015 'Nut, Second Floor

34th Street Magazine Nina Wolpow, Editor–in–Chief Sam Brodey, Managing Editor Alex Hosenball, Online Managing Editor Chloe Bower, Design Editor Sarah Tse, Photo Editor Olivia Fingerhood, Assistant Design Margot Halpern, Assistant Design Zacchiaus McKee, Highbrow Alex Sternlicht, Highbrow Faryn Pearl, Ego Mariam Mahbob, Ego Marley Coyne, Food and Drink 2

Ryan Zahalka, Food and Drink Michelle Ma, Film and TV Michael Shostek, Film and TV Isabel Oliveres, Features Patrick Ford-Matz, Features Ariela Osuna, Music Cassandra Kyriazis, Music Gina DeCagna, Arts Madeleine Wattenbarger, Arts Zach Tomasavic, Lowbrow Michael Kandel, Lowbrow Gabe Morales, Print Copy Randi Kramer, Print Copy

Emma Soren, Online Copy Emily Marcus, Online Copy Patrick Del Valle, Social Media

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Nina Wolpow, Editor-–in–Chief, at wolpow@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.

Cover design: Chloe Bower

Visit our web site: www.34st.com

Contributors: Travis Mager, Rosa Escandon, Manola Gonzalez, Emily Grablutz, Hannah Cutler, Jessica Yackey, Tilden Bissell, Giulia Imholte, Carolyn Grace, Johnathan Wilson, Noah Shpak, Mark Paraskevas, Byrne Fahey, Katherine Hartman, Marco Herndon, Emily Johns, Paul DiNapoli, Justin Sheen, Gabby Abramowtiz, Megan Ruben

"I said something funny earlier." ©2013 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

tweets illustrated

HIGHBROW

Do you tweet with abandon? Do you live your life in 140 characters or less? Keep doing what you’re doing, soul sister, ’cause Highbrow’s watching. You might just get your own tweet #illustrated.

wordonthestreet IN DEFENSE OF POTHEADS BY MICHAEL CRANE*

Kelsey Matevish @KelseyMatevish Just spent the last 10 minutes watching a man walk his legless dog down Locust #what Andrea A. Herrera @andre_ahx Hipster Rabbi wearing supreme hat and promoting “Manischewitz Pong” event. #penn

THEROUNDUP Never fear, dear readers, the government may have shut down, but Highbrow is still here churning out gossip and making shit work. Tell us we’re your national anthem. Good news: the Germans have it no easier. Call it fratocracy, but it appears there was an invasion of Penn’s frattiest at Oktoberfest in Germany thisfear, weekend. Apparently, one THEOSmay guy, have fully shut clad in lederhoNever dear readers, the government down, but sen and completely blackout, jumped on toand a table and shit started dumping Highbrow is still here churning out gossip making work. Tell us giant liters national of beer on his head. After completely soaking both strangers we’re your anthem. and Penn kids sitting nearby beereasier. showers, responded Good news: the Germans with have his it no Callhomeboy it fratocracy, but it to being cussed out in various languages with “It’s okay guys, in appears there was an invasion of Penn’s frattiest at Oktoberfest inI’m GerTHEOS.” We’ll let that speak forone itself. many this weekend. Apparently, THEOS guy, fully clad in lederhodomestic Quaker wereand multiple to senOn andtocompletely blackout,traditionsm, jumped on there to a table startedreasons dumping shriek at the annual Econ Scream, albeit in only one language. Amidst giant liters of beer on his head. After completely soaking both strangers the studiers, a group ofbeer enthusiastic to the and fully Pennclothed kids sitting nearby with his showers, students homeboytook responded lower quad in nothing but their birthday suits. to being cussed out in various languages with “It’sJunk okaydangling, guys, I’mthe in nudists ranWe’ll through the speak study for break, allowing the freshmen to feast on THEOS.” let that itself. more doughnuts. We traditionsm, wonder… what’s the opportunity cost to of On than to domestic Quaker there were multiple reasons streaking versus studying? shriek at the annual Econ Scream, albeit in only one language. Amidst a Round Upstudiers, first, Highbrow is bringing youstudents gossip from theInfully clothed a group of enthusiastic took an to unthe likely culprit: the International Affairs Association. Fly away, Owls, lower quad in nothing but their birthday suits. Junk dangling, the Highbrow a new the pet.study At yetbreak, another infamous BYO, nudists ranhas through allowing the Charles freshmenPlaza to feast on amore certain IAA member consumed one too many, and found himself seekthan doughnuts. We wonder… what’s the opportunity cost of ing some versus good ol’ MERT loving. Unfortunately, the MERT cyclists do streaking studying? notIntravel out that But, no fear! Ais Penn professor was there! a Round Up far. first, Highbrow bringing you gossip fromThe an prounfessor randomly appeared at Charles Plaza (possibly prompted by BYO likely culprit: the International Affairs Association. Move over, Owls, FOMO), up the drunk child,infamous and returned himPlaza to campus, Highbrowpicked has a new pet.poor At yet another Charles BYO, where heIAA could be properly MERTed. Butmany, that’sand notfound all! The remaining a certain member consumed one too himself seekInternational Associates to vomit get kicked ing some goodAlcohol ol’ MERT loving.proceeded Unfortunately, the and MERT cyclistsout do of prompting someonewas to there! rent aThe Zipcar, notevery travelcab outthey that hailed far. But,down, no fear! A Penn professor proshuttling pukey frosh fromatCharles campus. It’ll be an international fessor randomly appeared CharlestoPlaza (possibly prompted by BYO affair to remember… FOMO), picked up the poor drunk child, and returned him to campus, TriDelt lets you be you, but Copa doesn’t let you without paywhere he could be properly MERTed. But that’s not leave all! The remaining ing. After sipping on some Copa margs, a few TriDelts decided to dine International Alcohol Associates proceeded to vomit and get kicked out and dashcab from favorite Mexican mainstay. Unfortunately for our of every theyour hailed down, prompting someone to rent a Zipcar, Delta Delta Delta sisters, employees intercepted before they shuttling pukey frosh fromthe Charles to campus. It’ll bethem an international could make their grand exit. They were forced to pay, and then swiftly escorted out. Throw some D’s on that bill.

check out more tweets @34st.com

over heard PENN at

AXO girl: Can we try and be scene–y for five minutes? Ginger outside of Pod: Freshman year we had a contest to find our ugliest friend on Facebook. I entered pictures of myself from ninth grade and they didn’t know it was me, and I won. Sorority girl: So if the government shuts down, how exactly will this affect me? Freshman: Oh my god, Sigma Nu is, like, the hottest fraternity. Hipster guy: So… how wealthy are your parents? Hipster girl: …wealthy.

Admittedly, I started on this train of thought while I was high. The eating–Doritos–in–bed–alone, binge–watching–"Family Guy"–on–Netflix type of high [ed note: is there another kind?]. The fact that a lot of my peer group (basically my entire peer group) smokes weed is not news. We’re young, we’re in college; much of our lives revolve around putting things in our bodies that make us feel and act differently. I guess what struck me is that there is more to the story than “I’m in college, and my friends and I like to get high a lot.” Perhaps most of our propensity to light up comes from the fact that we’re bored, stressed college students, but I think part of it comes from a larger cultural shift that we’re getting to experience firsthand. The past few years have been big ones for a particular Schedule I drug. D.A.R.E. has officially dropped pot from its anti–drug curriculum, states seem to be on the verge of legalization left and right (shout out to Washington and Colorado) and, according to Pew Research, 2013 marks the first year when a majority of Americans think that weed should be legal. For those of us on a college campus, where weed culture was alive and well long before the rest of America began to reconsider its stance, this cultural shift might not seem as pronounced. But in the not–so–distant future, cannabis will likely be legally equivalent to alcohol and your mom’s nightcap might start consisting of whiskey and a joint. There is still a lot of charged nomenclature that comes along with the way in which marijuana has been woven into our social fabric. Words like “stoner” and “pothead” correlate habitual smoking with laziness and delinquency. Yet, I’m finding it near impossible to pinpoint these so–called stoners, instead I'm seeing a growing number of smart, success–craving individuals who also happen to enjoy a lot of pot. It’s no longer, “the stoners” and “everyone else,” separated by a wide gap. I get high a lot—I guess I’m a stoner by definition; I’m also a really involved, extroverted, career-oriented Ivy League student—and these things aren’t mutually exclusive. Maybe that’s why the stereotypical stoner is so absent from my own collegiate milieu; we love our “social Ivy” status, our ability to integrate a vibrant pot culture into a hyper–motivated student body might just come with the territory. The times they are a–changin’. No, weed on college campuses is not new in the slightest. But maybe the way that we are thinking about it is. It isn’t that we’re smoking more (though we probably are), maybe it’s that weed is just beginning to be regarded in new ways. Is it? Sheesh, I really don’t know. I’m pretty fucking high. *Wharton student's name has been changed to protect his anonymity.

O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

EGO

SICK SHOPPING list:

Save yourself a trip when you get a post–nasal drip and make sure you have these items ahead of time.

1 Bowl of Chicken Soup Grandma and those corny books were right all along: chicken soup’s heat and hydration are good for the soul.

1 20–ounce Gatorade Drink it for the electrolytes, which does not mean you will have electricity shoot out of your fingertips.

1 Box of Tissues Because using toilet paper instead just feels kinda gross.

2 Boxes of Cold Relief Medicine Fun prank idea: give a sick pal NyQuil before a big test and say bye–bye to that pesky friendship!

1 Pair of Slippers Treat yo’ self.

1 Box of Popsicles The coolness of the ice soothes your throat, plus they can make any day way more fun.

1 Bag of Lifesavers Or really, any kind of sucking candy will do. Way better than cough syrup.*

*Disclaimer: Once again, Ego is a section of a student–run arts and culture magazine. We have no idea what we’re doing.

3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3

Sick at College Survival Guide:

It’s that time of year again. With the seasons a–changin’ and the temperature steadily a–droppin’, it’s getting harder and harder to stay healthy (Pottruck? What’s that?). So if you’ve already caught one of the many bugs going around, here’s a guide from Ego to make sure you get that shit under control.

1 2 3 4 5 6

STEP 1: CHUG SOME H20 We know it’s hard to drink water when you have all that beer staring you in the face, but you’re going to have to suck it up. Now’s the time to finally put all those dusty Brita filters to use. As a PennAM email famously said, “Drink water. Beer is not water.”

STEP 2: DRUG YOURSELF Sometimes the basics, like DayQuil and Tylenol, can make a bad cold or flu manageable. If you’re too sick to get it yourself, ask a roommate or friend to grab you something while they’re out and about. You deserve it after all—you’re sick. Also, if it’s getting really bad, talk to an actual doctor. See step six. STEP 3: EAT REAL FOOD It’s hard to be healthy at college, especially when McNuggets continue to be delicious. That’s a fact. It’s especially hard when your kitchen is a microwave that’s located under your desk (to keep your feet warm, duh). But stock up on some basic citrus and even splurge on that canned soup. Remember: a moment on the lips, a lifetime of not coughing uncontrollably during your midterm. STEP 4: HIT THE SACK Isn’t it the absolute worst that you get sick on the same night of that Super Big Party that everyone is going to? Why does this happen to you all the time? Why is your life the hardest? To paraphrase that Bloomers sketch they do all the time, man up. You can party in your dreams. STEP 5: TELL THE PROF Contrary to popular belief, they get sick just like the rest of us. Just don’t be dumb about it—emailing your professor the night before a paper is due and telling them you’re “sick” is going to look awfully suspicious.

STEP 6: GET YOUR SORRY ASS TO SHS When all else fails, go to Student Health Services (you’ll probably end up in the ER since SHS is never open). You’re paying for it, you might as well use it.

EGO

Ego’s “In-Depth” Analysis on Sickness at Penn

WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE SICK

Sleep: 26.9% Duh. Stay in your pajamas: 12.3% Removing the sweaty filth that is your pajamas is more effort than its worth. Call your mom: 4.7% Sometimes the best remedy to a cold is letting mom fuss over you on the phone to make sure you’re getting your “daily dose of Vitamin C!” Thanks mom, we could use another care package.

how many times the sick person next to you coughs in class amount of coughs

Flu Facts

proximity to sick person

Work while whining: 35.3% Ain’t nobody got time for a break. That doesn’t mean you can’t make everyone feel as miserable as you do. Work without whining: 4.7% These cavaliers do in fact exist—chugging along with their post–nasal drip without uttering a single complaint. Four for you, Glen Coco.

How many times a person says they have a stomach virus How many times a person actually has a stomach virus

Netflix: 16.1% Binging on "Orange is the New Black" is obviously far more effective than any medication would be.

THE HEALTHY ROOMMATE MANTRA

So the person you share a cupboard space with in Riepe has a cold. Stay calm and carry on with this mantra in mind. Cut it out and stick it someplace close to your heart (and away from your vulnerable immune system). Just because ______________ [insert roommate’s name] is dying from ___________________ [insert disease’s name] doesn’t mean I will, too. As a roommate and as the person in closest proximity to the diseased, I will go to Wawa and fetch him/her the appropriate amount of Gatorade. If he/she throws up, I will hold his/her hair. And if things get bad, I will carry him/her like a small, helpless child to SHS. However, I am not my roommate’s keeper. I am not obligated to a) miss classes, b) stay in on a Friday night or c) make small talk with his/her mom over the phone to take care of him/her. I can choose to do this, but I cannot be guilt–tripped by _________________ [insert roommate’s name] if I do not.

Sick survival guide step 7: Read Street.

ok! acedboogcafe f n o s e Find uok.com/whit o faceb

Join u s fo and im r our new HAPP proved Y from HOUR 5-7p m

Because I am also a human being, and I deserve the chance to be healthy. (Repeat six times). Amen. O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

EGO

egoSof the weeK: RUSSELL ABDO, GARY KAFER AND MELISSA VO Russell Abdo, Gary Kafer and Melissa Vo, the faces of Williams Cafe, have been servin’ up morning joe together for over three years. They might not agree on everything, but they share a love of coffee and a willingness to have a fivesome with Venus and Serena Williams. Street: What’s your deal on campus? Russell Abdo: I’m the general manager at WilCaf. Besides that, I’m also on the board for Front Row Theatre company, on the board for Penn Leads the Vote, I’m the Pennacle pre–orientation coordinator, and I’m also on Carriage exec, which is the new LGBTQIA senior society. Gary Kafer: I’m one of WilCaf ’s chief supervisors and the marketing director. I do radio at WQHS where I’m the head music writer and blog editor. I’m also in Phi Beta Kappa… and that’s pretty much it, because Russell outshines me. Melissa Vo: I know, right? How am I supposed to follow Russell? I’m just a plebeian barista at WilCaf. I’m also the music director of Quaker Notes, the a capella group. Besides that I’m just in TriDelt. GK: We’re all in TriDelt. MV: We’re actually all sisters. GK: We all have TriDelt fling tanks.

goes a long way when you’re in college. To the point where, like, I stopped drinking water, and I only drink iced coffee now. GK: We also get the day–old pastries free. MV: Also, it’s just really fun!

Street: If you guys were a frat, what would be your stereotype? MV: Hipster coffee snobs. RA: Maybe kind of like a bougie, we’re–better–than–you hipster commune. GK: It’s true, though.

Street: Marry, fuck, kill: Robin Williams, the Williams sisters, William Penn. GK: I think a fivesome with the Williams sisters would be pretty cool. RA: Wait, is this with all of us? If so, I think we would fuck the Williams sisters, marry Robin Williams and kill William Penn. Yeah? MV: No way! I would marry William Penn. GK: She’s a gold digger... but I don’t think I’d marry Robin Williams either. RA: Okay, definitely fuck the Williams sisters. I think we can agree on that. It’d be really engaging with all the tennis noises and everything. I’m already imagining this.

Street: If you had a drink named after yourself, what would it be? RA: A PBR with a shot of espresso. GK: Wait, that would be mine. MV: It would probably be really sweet. With lots of espresso. RA: MelVo also just eats little cups of whipped cream with syrup on them. MV: That would be my drink. Street: What’s the biggest perk of working at WilCaf? RA: We get free coffee. Which 6

Street: Who’s your alter ego? MV: Blackout me versus regular me. GK: They’re the same person, though. RA: I can’t wait until Blackout MelVo starts looking for jobs, and they google you and find this interview. GK: Russell’s my alter ego. MV: Gary’s would be Eeyore from "Winnie the Pooh." GK: That’s my normal me. RA: When I used to wear my glasses when I went out, I would take them off and I would go by Randy, my drunk alter ego. But I started wearing contacts this semester, and now I see people, and they’ll either go, “Oh, where are your glasses?” or “Oh my god, Randy!”

Street: What’s your secret talent?

3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3

GK: I’m actually good at finding dead animals. RA: Gary wants to start “Dead Animals@Penn: the Insta.” GK: I’m serious. I already have, like, 50 pictures. RA: People will send him photos of dead animals. MV: Yeah, I’ve sent him dead things before. Street: What’s your spirit animal? RA: Oh, my spirit animal’s a lion, and I’ll tell you why. Because they’re natural born leaders, but they rest for twenty out of twenty–four hours a day— GK: Oh, shut up. Shut up. MV: You can’t be a lion! RA: Why not? All my friends are like, you’re not a lion, you’re like a fucking meerkat. But I wanna be a lion! It’s my Ego interview and I want to be selfish. MV: I’m probably a chinchilla or something. I’m something fluffy. RA: You could be a panda bear. MV: I could be a panda bear. They’re such oafs though! RA: They just eat a lot… GK: They black out at night… MV: Well, there you go. I’m a panda. Street: What famous trio are you guys most like? RA: Oooh, we’re TLC! Gary’s Lisa Left Eye. She’s the one that died, right? GK: Yeah. Yikes. RA: Or Destiny’s Child. We love Destiny’s Child. I’m Beyoncé. GK: Definitely. RA: And MelVo’s Kelly and you’re Michelle. But you embrace it. If anyone’s gonna be Michelle, it’s going to be you. GK: Me, yeah! RA: We play a lot of Destiny’s Child. We have our Beyoncé Latte. And when we first came up with that, we changed the words “Jumpin’, Jumpin’” to be about WilCaf. It was

“Ladies, leave your Starbucks at home, because we accept Bursar, and we serve La Colombe. And all you fellas leave your mugs at home, ‘cause it’s 9:30 and

the cafe’s— RA, GK and MV: Bumpin’, bumpin’.” Street: There are two kinds of people at Penn… GK: There’s Italian single espresso man and everybody else. MV: Williams is the language building so everyone who comes in has like some kind of accent. We have this Italian professor who comes, and he’s a silver fox. He’s a looker, and he comes in every day and just orders a “single ‘spresso.” GK: It’s actually like three times a day. “Single ‘spresso.” RA: He’s our one and only. We probably talk about him at least once a day.

MV: I don’t think he says anything else. RA: I’m like, “How are you?” Nothing, just “single ‘spresso.” Street: What is one sentence that will convince everyone to go to Williams Cafe? GK: I always tell people in class that we have the cheapest coffee and the sexiest people. RA: We’re pretty, we’re caffeinated, get used to it. MV: We say that all the time.

MUSIC

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

TEN COVERS THAT ARE BETTER THAN The ORIGINALs The best sex of your life was never the first time.

“Baby”—Dirty Loops If anyone could make a JB song sound so musically satisfying, it’d be Dirty Loops. This version is impeccably arranged and showcases the Swedish group’s talent well. These cats can play and continue to blow almost any mainstream American artist out of the water in terms of musicianship and vocal prowess.

NOAH SHPAK

“Maiden Voyage/Everything in its Right Place”—Robert Glasper Loved amongst jazz enthusiasts, Robert Glasper combines hip–hop and jazz piano in this mashup cover of Herbie Hancock and Radiohead. This cover brought his album, “In My Element” to number three in top albums on iTunes for a few weeks. The song’s simplistic yet graceful combination of two tunes from dramatically different genres makes it so groundbreaking.

“Somewhere Over the Rainbow”—Brother Iz There’s something magical about this version of the "Wizard of Oz" classic—the ability to make people both happy and sad at the same time. The crazy thing is that it was recorded in one take at three in the morning. Time and time again, though, Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s voice and a ukulele melt hearts all over the world.

“A Case of You”—James Blake Joni Mitchell fans might question the validity of this article at this point, but there is something about James Blake’s cover of this song that makes it incredibly powerful. It simply can’t be ignored.

“Kid A”—Punch Brothers Try covering a Radiohead song with the instrumentation of a traditional bluegrass group. Yeah, this concept may be a little hard to grasp, but the eccentricities make it awesome.

“Life Round Here”—James Blake feat. Chance the Rapper He tours with Macklemore and now he’s teaming up with James Blake? It’s a dream come true for fans of these amazing artists. Chance kills this track, as usual. Worth a listen or 20.

“Free Fallin’ (Live)”—John Mayer John Mayer can play finger–style guitar like no other and his talent pays homage to Tom Petty’s classic tune. On top of that, his vocals in this live version create an edge that livens the song in a fresh way.

“We Can Work it Out”—Stevie Wonder This is probably one of the most underrated covers. Stevie Wonder’s musical genius comes through in this version of the Beatles’ tune. One genius covering another set of geniuses? Only Stevie Wonder could exceed even the expectations of that standard.

MCAT Prep Free MCAT Events in University City

Upcoming MCAT Courses

Free Practice Test

Sundays Only Morning and Afternoon Sessions October 13th – April 20th

3451 Chestnut St Philadelphia Pa 19104

Saturday October 12th : 10 am – 2 pm

“Wrecking Ball”—Haim Well, when the stripper elements of Miley’s song are taken out and only the music is left, there’s actually something good there! The Haim sisters do a great job at arranging this tune. The vocals are spot on, and the lyrics actually begin to mean something. “Dirty Diana”—The Weeknd It’s definitely tough to challenge the King of Pop, but Abel Tesfaye’s arrangement takes the rock elements out and focuses on his pristine vocals. The result is a more introverted tune, but one that’s as equally brilliant as the original.

MCAT and Med School Admissions Forum Sunday October 6th : 1 pm – 3 pm

OR Saturdays and Sundays Morning and Afternoon Sessions October 19th – January 19th

Contact Marcella to enroll and save $150 with promo “DP$150” 888-248-7737 x 5165 or Mgambino@review.com

O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

MUSIC

LORDE—“PURE HEROINE” Lorde’s highly anticipated debut album “Pure Heroine” doesn’t produce the same thrill that its title promises. Sixteen–year–old Lorde (neé Ella Yelich–O’Connor) has a surprising maturity to her voice that inspires further listening, particularly on tracks “400 Lux” and “Glory and Gore.” However, this was also apparent in “The Love Club,” the New Zealand singer–songwriter’s summer EP that is basically a shorter version of this album. The lyrics are still refreshing and the background beats intriguing, but the album overall follows a fairly slow pace. Even the upbeat songs like “Ribs” and “Glory and Gore” are not that upbeat. There’s nothing

wrong with “Pure Heroine,” we just can't shake the feeling we've heard some of it before. Grade: B+ Download: “Team” Sounds best when: Contemplating the meaning of the Tampons.

DR. DOG—“B– ROOM” Dr. Dog’s seventh studio album combines a mixture of instrumental heavy tunes with their own style of psychedelic tunes for the masses. The songs flow into each other, as if each is a precursor for what is to come next. Opening the album is “The Truth,” which, much like “Twilight,” is very atmospheric—filled with more acoustic and instrumental sections than the voices of Toby Leaman and Scott McMicken. Other areas of the album take you on a completely different trip. “Rock & Roll” is very percussion heavy, while “Love” is almost an ode to the Beatles. The instrumental gaps in many of the songs, most notably in “Minding the Usher,” are one of the main attractions throughout the album.

Grade: B+ Download: “Minding the Usher” Sounds best when: You are still rolling from Life in Color and need something to listen to.

CAROLYN GRACE

it’s always a good time at pulse

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE— “THE 20/20 EXPERIENCE 2 OF 2” The second half of Justin Timberlake’s “20/20 Experience” falls short of the hype. Sequels are often plagued with comparisons to the first album and “20/20 Experience 2 of 2” is no exception. With pop jams abounding, the first part set the bar high. The second part drags tracks beyond even the seven–minute mark, with a distracting lack of focus despite a few standout songs. However, JT’s charisma and ability to make you get up out of your seat and dance haven’t faded. With a verse from Drake in “Cabaret” and classic JT R&B hits like “Murder” and “Take Back the Night,” the album redeems itself.

JOHNATHAN WILSON

Grade: B– Download: “Cabaret” Sounds best when: Driving with the windows down.

Gabe Morales

Follow Music on Spotify.

philly’s premier hot spot

start your party early or late!

no cover

-1

thursdays, Fridays, saturdays & sundays 11 pm - 3:30 am For special events reservation: inFo@pulsephilly.com

1526 sansom st. 215-751-2711 www.pulsephilly.com

La Fontana Della Citta 215.875.9990

Experience a Touch of Italy At the Best BYOB In Philly! Seats 150 People 5 Lunches, 7 Dinners, 7 days a week Excellent for Family and Group Meetings Contact Management, they are happy to meet your needs!

Authentic Italian Cuisine at Reasonable Prices

15% off with Fixed Price Sunday-Thursday

1701 Spruce St. - Philadelphia, PA 19103 - www.lafontanadellacitta.com 8

3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3

@34st—music

MUSIC

Haim—“Days Are Gone” The Los Angeles–based Haim sisters burst onto the music scene during the summer of 2012 with danceable singles “Falling” and “Forever” that were ripe and ready for alternative radio play. The band’s first full–length album, “Days Are Gone,” opens up exactly the same way, but now leads into an impeccably curated 11–track list of sun–kissed, retro–inspired songs. From the 80s pop influence in the title track to the heavier rock feel of “My Song 5,” Haim showcases their versatility while staying true to their previously developed

aesthetic. Danielle, Este and Alana, along with drummer Dash Hutton, gained traction in the music scene following their first EP, and the attention that “Days Are Gone” will garner is much deserved given its pristinely polished, consistently catchy material. Grade: A Download: “Honey and I” Sounds best when: Eating a popsicle on a sunny day during Fling in the Quad. Giulia Imholte

Teen Daze— “Glacier” Ambient is the name of the game, and though Teen Daze hits the mark on a few songs, he falls short on crafting a holistic experience. “Alaska,” the opening song, seems like it’s always ready to lead into something greater, but never does. Not all the songs are lacking, though. The beginning of “Tundra” starts with a minute of droning, but it slowly weaves in different elements to make up for the lackluster beginning. The cerebral offerings in “Flora” and relaxing vibe of “Ice On The Windowsill” are the best this album has to offer. Teen Daze shows a lot of

potential on this album, but where certain songs deliver so well, the rest fail to leave any lasting impressions. Grade: C Download: “Flora” Sounds best when: You need background noise while picking out an outfit.

JOHNATHAN WILSON

ACOUSTIC LIFEHACKS: 5 EASY MUSIC DIYs

Why invest in a jambox when you’ve got the ingredients for a bass–dropping good time right in your dorm? Bowl Speaker: Put a cereal bowl to better use and make it into an amp for your iPhone. In situations where you don’t have speakers but really want to bump “Bittersweet Symphony,” bowls act as a decent substitute. They produce a fairly good volume and the sound quality is on par with other non–powered speakers. 2 Plastic Cups/1 Toilet Roll: Cut an iPhone–shaped hole in that empty toilet paper roll that your obnoxious roommate left on the holder and stick your iPhone in. Next, cut toilet paper roll–shaped holes in two plastic cups and stick them on the ends of the toilet paper roll for maximum amplified sound. Say hello to the 30 bucks you just saved on iPhone speakers and to the coolest pregame on the block. iPod Accessory: Feeling ambitious? Create the ultimate iPod accessory with four paper cups and a couple of toothpicks. First, cut a strip in the bottom of one cup and insert the earbud. Then, use a toothpick to connect it to the standing cup. Repeat this for the second pair and crank some tunes. Nose/Mouth Speaker: Just stick earbuds in your nostrils and open wide for the music to be amplified through your mouth. No joke.

Throwback Bonus: The Mixtape Pay homage to the original expression of teen love by making your own mixtape! You’ll need a blank cassette tape, a cassette recorder and a cord to connect it to the device you’re using to play music. First, burn a CD of the mix you want and load it into a CD player. Connect the CD player to the recorder and load your tape. When you’re ready, press the “record” button on the recorder and play the first song you picked on the CD player. Press “stop” on the recorder when the first song is finished, prepare your next song and continue the process. Be sure to flip the tape when the first side is full. For best results, awkwardly present it to your crush. CAROLYN GRACE O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

instant watch of the week “UNDECLARED” “Undeclared” is a Judd Appatow–produced sitcom that follows protagonist Steven Karp (Jay Baruchel), his three suitemates and their two female neighbors at the start of their freshman year. The show also features Steven’s dad, who lives near campus and announced his divorce to Steven and his friends on move–in day. Between the regulars and the guest stars, “Undeclared” has a cast packed with true comedy all–stars: Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, Amy Poehler, Kevin Hart and Busy Phillipps—just to name a few. The group tackles typical freshman issues ranging from comedic to serious. Steven’s suitemate Marshall struggles with not falling asleep in class. Neurotic Rachel tries to control her panic attacks. Lizzie deals with her obsessive boyfriend from home. Steven copes with his parents’ split while finding a way to force Lizzie into a breakup of her own. Ron looks for

FILM & TV

every container in which he could possibly store beer. And Lloyd finds himself lying about having herpes to avoid hooking up with the RA, who is very interested in him and his Australian–sounding British accent. But even with all of their problems, they are so excited to finally be in college, “a place where we can stay up ’til 11, pierce whatever we want and eat candy all day.” As easy as it is to laugh at the characters, they are also quite relatable; even 12 years after the show aired, these characters still feel real enough to be your friends (granted, friends that desperately need to update their wardrobes). The show has some moments that feel a bit dated, but the elements that are so 2001 make it even funnier. It’s hard not to laugh at college students playing beer pong with actual ping– pong paddles, or the boys putting a blue scrunchie on the doorknob to signal an “occupied” room. For reasons unbeknownst to a superfan like me, the show only aired for one season. These 17 episodes, at about 22 minutes each, make for an easy but worthwhile Netflix commitment. All in all, “Undeclared” is highly recommended for anyone who loves “Freaks and Geeks” (another worthy Netflix endeavor) or anyone who likes to laugh and remember the moments when you, too, were an awkward freshman. Katherine Hartman Best for: Quad hall reunions Worst for: SWUGs

REVIEW: “GRAVITY”

The opening credits of “Gravity” cautiously signal its central premise, that life is impossible in space. Yet, Alfonso Cuaron’s uninterrupted seventeen– minute opening shot offers a breathtaking view of Earth. Immediately, this aesthetic is juxtaposed with the catastrophic destruction of the space shuttle Explorer. This cataclysm propels surviving astronauts Dr. Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) and Matt Kowalski (George Clooney) into the depths of space with limited oxygen and radio silence with Mission Control in Houston. Anticipating rescue, Stone and Kowalski recollect themselves and travel towards the International Space Station. Kowalski, who is on his last mission, offers reassurance in the form of overconfidence and the promise of a stash of Russian vodka to Stone, who has just lost her young daughter in a freak accident. This compelling relationship inspires Stone to contemplate her own existence in the midst of her calamity. Hope of survival and anxiety plague Stone's thoughts, but Kowalski’s optimism provides balance in their direst moments. The utilization of 3–D manifests a claustrophobic yet necessary feel to the seemingly endless abyss. Long shots of the scenic view, including one of the Aurora Borealis and several situating Stone and Kowalski as diminutive specks in space, are visually stunning in this tight environment. Additionally, Cuaron embraces silence, frequently eliminating sound from “Gravity’s” most suspenseful moments, which mirrors the tragic communication loss with Houston. No one can hear Stone or Kowalski, and often their voices fade slowly away, like their oxygen supply. Ultimately, viewers will enjoy this thriller not only for its technical triumphs, but also for Bullock and Clooney’s riveting performances. Hang on for the ride. Don’t let go. MICHAEL SHOSTEK 1 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3

REVIEW: “WADJDA” “Wadjda” is a story about potential. It’s about a young girl diving into the unknown depths of womanhood. Will she stride through adulthood on her much sought– after bicycle? Perhaps her wish is childish, but it’s clear that it represents more than a childhood dream. Her determination for the costly bike—around 800 Saudi riyals—leads her to enter a Qur’an recitation competition. In Saudi Arabia, where women are prohibited from operating a vehicle and where male society frowns upon their interactions with men outside of their families, Wadjda’s naive desire for the simple pleasures of a bike ride is beautifully revolutionary. Haifaa al–Mansour, the film’s female director, is no stranger to misogyny. To avoid mingling with men in public, al–Mansour directed outdoor scenes from the inside of a minivan. As dramatic as such a social context appears, she illustrates these dynamics remarkably with solid strokes that only hint at greater social themes. In one scene, Wadjda’s mother, Reem, visits a female friend at her job as a receptionist at a local hospital. Her sudden determination for a job disappears upon seeing her friend laughing with an unrelated man. It’s unclear if Reem condemns her friend due to internalized sexism, or if her anger instead reflects growing frustration with her powerlessness as a wife. Questions like these create an undeniable amount of tension throughout the film. A seemingly simple scene captures this refreshing implicitness: early on, Wadjda befriends a young boy with a bicycle. Upon borrowing the bike, she insists he remove its tricycle wheels—ignoring his remarks on her inexperienced biking skills. Be it Wadjda’s yearning for a bike or her mother’s desire for a more fulfilling marriage, the film shows women who need no practice exercising their agency. Aside from a few missteps, they stride onward, crafting their own experience towards a better, more balanced future. MARCO HERNDON Grade: A– Rating & Runtime: PG, 98 mins. See if you liked: “Offside”

Grade: A Rating & Runtime: PG–13, 90 min. See if you liked: “127 Hours”

FILM & TV

B ROLL: ROGER EBERT WAS A FUCKING IDIOT Why video games are the evolution of film.

Beneath a canopy of crucifixes, I train my gun on a cowering creep with a major hard–on for Jesus. He’s a freak, but he’s morally innocent. My choices stand as follows: spare him and potentially never save my kidnapped son, or blow his brains out and get one step closer to my little boy. My options have been laid out by his captor, and I have five seconds to pick. My hands shake and so does the gun. My son, or my moral purity? This is “Heavy Rain,” a video game by developer Quantic Dream. “Heavy Rain” is not “Call of Duty” or ”Skyrim.” It’s essentially an interactive film—a psycho network of decisions winding through a narrative about a sadistic child killer and four (supposed) innocents caught in his web. It’s a video game at its core, but it presents itself as the full integration of gameplay and narrative that many douchebags—er, critics—say video games will never realize. This sentiment led me to rage–scream “Roger Ebert is a fucking idiot!” to my entire ENGL 260 class. A girl had quoted Ebert’s famously polarizing statement that video games “can never be art,” and I reacted by instantly pounding on my desk and dropping an f–bomb on the guy’s grave. Ebert says poetry is art. Film is art. But video games? They will never be film. They will never amount to anything. He’s the mean parent gaming never had. I wish Ebert had been around at the Tribeca Film Festivial this year to see Quantic Dream’s next game, “Beyond: Two Souls,” featured as an official selection. The game stars Ellen Page and Willem Dafoe as it charts the life of a girl from age eight to twenty–five. It features drug addiction, suicide, an intensive treatment of poverty and the kind of decisions that made “Heavy Rain” a sort of cathartic ethical nightmare. And it’s the damn future, Roger Ebert. Gaming matters more than film. As cave paintings eventually became the Gutenberg Bible, and Fireside Chats eventually became film, so will film someday flip over and submit to gaming. Sure, you can passively absorb violence through “Pulp Fiction,” sucking down the plot through a neat little straw, or you can hold an innocent man at gunpoint with the fate of your son in the balance and look at yourself—at the violence inside of you—instead. But that’s pretty uncomfortable. You might cry. You might feel sick to your stomach. God forbid, you might shoot the poor guy. That might be your gametime decision, and how would you live with yourself? Besides, gaming’s for nerds, yeah? It’s niche. “Grend Theft Auto V” made $800 million in its first day, while the final Harry Potter movie made $400 million in its first weekend. Totally niche. Ignore it. Or, you could put down the remote and pick up a controller. Take the feeding tube out of your mouth. I blew the Jesus nut’s brains out. And it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. PATRICK FORD-MATZ

Locations you want. Prices you need. Experience you trust.

Your Mother Will Be Happy. (We promise.)

university enterprises

Apartments & Townhouses

Live with us. 4019 Locust St. | 215-222-5500 | uerealestate@aol.com O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 1

F E AT U R E

Where Penn students live today

respond to questions like these—and those answers tell the story of our priorities and aspirations. 58% of all Penn undergraduates live on campus. Ninety–nine percent of all freshmen are among them. That figure drops dramatically every year thereafter, with 53% of sophomores, 36% of juniors and 35% of seniors sticking around. At some of Penn’s peer schools, figures like these are unimaginable. At Harvard, which is located in an urban area not unlike West Philadelphia, nearly all undergraduates live in on– campus housing. At Brown—situated in a Providence, Rhode Island neighborhood that’s also often compared to Penn’s—79% stay on campus. Schools like these enjoy what Gabe calls “the excessive privilege of a centralized life,” where every need, from food to class to social life, is met down the hall or a five– minute walk away. On the opposite end of the spectrum is Penn, where thousands of students elect to leave that comfy bubble of convenience and fast–forward to the “real world,” where you pay the bills and you make the 2 a.m. calls to your landlord when the bathroom floods. And they generally do so happily, without worry-

1 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E S E P T E M B E R 1 9 , 2 01 3

ing that they might be growing up too fast. If where we live speaks volumes about us, then the siren call of off–campus life makes a loud statement about the character of this school and its students. For those students who do move— especially the 47% that bolt at first chance—the perception that the college houses are immature and that off–campus residences are more adult is entrenched. Once they're set on moving, the notion of living in a college house as an upperclassman is almost impossible to understand. Why would you ever pass on the opportunity to live in your own house with your best friends? Why would you give up the chance to do as you please in your own space, to pour a drink or two without worrying about a surprise visit from your friendly RA or house dean? Urja Mittal, a College senior, has had plenty of time to form her own answers to those questions. She’s currently in her fourth year of on–campus living and is unusual even within that small group: she’s lived in the same house—the Class of 1925 House at Gregory—the whole time. She decided to go to Gregory her freshman year for its residential language

Estate

program and liked the house enough to stay each year after. Her reviews aren’t glowing, but practical: “the facilities are nice,” she says, citing her private bedroom and bathroom. “It has everything I need.” She adds that as a junior and senior, staying in Gregory was simply a matter of convenience. “It became a little bit of inertia. It was very straightforward and I knew what to expect,” she says, adding that she was turned off by “the hassle of dealing with leases and your own facilities… I didn’t need to deal with that right now.” Urja is hardly oblivious to Gregory’s less–than–stellar reputation among the college houses. “It’s considered an uncommon place to live,” she says. When she tells people she lives in Gregory, she says “you get a lot of ‘oh, really?’ and ‘that’s interesting’… you get a lot of questioning faces.” The reactions are especially pronounced now—“by senior year, people realize it’s a very conscious decision,” she says. But the stereotypes of the building—social awkwardness, outdated amenities—don’t get to her these days. “When people say Gregory’s different, I struggle with what’s so different about it,” she says. Even so, Urja acknowledges the benefits of living in a

private house or apartment. With a wistful look, she tells me, “having a kitchen would be nice.” Dr. Utsav Schurmans, House Dean of Ware, couldn’t agree more. He’d love it if there were more four–year house residents like Urja. The college house system itself, he says, was initially conceived with the idea of creating four– year residential communities. “Now,” he says, “we’re split between freshmen and upperclassmen… loyalty to your house is fleeting.” More students could be persuaded to be loyal, but it all comes back to the kitchen. The kitchen is shorthand for adulthood. It means going to Fresh Grocer and paying attention to what’s on sale; it means being able to host friends for dinner and serve something besides Top Ramen.

Gabe Delaney didn’t leave the Quad. After freshman year, when over three– quarters of his fellow Quad residents chose to leave, Gabe decided to stay; when his friends planned to move off– campus for junior year, Gabe decided to stay. The rarity of his situation is not lost on him. “When people find out I’m not an RA and live in the Quad, they usually say, ‘oh, that’s awkward’ or ‘oh, that’s weird’… or, they ask ‘why?’” Not too long ago, that prying question— why—would’ve been a non–starter. For most of its 120–year history, the Quad was a place where students spent their entire Penn experiences, first days as freshmen through last days as seniors. In the 1990s, Ware—where Gabe lives with 418 freshmen and about 100 upperclassmen—was a pre–med house where residents spent four years. Now, new faces flood in every fall, and old ones move in elsewhere. Those who stay are regarded as “weird” or “awkward” for not moving away from a freshman– dominated environment and for shunning the more independent lifestyle expected of a Penn upperclassman. Why, then, do people like Gabe decide to stay on campus—and why did his hall mates move? Every Penn student could

Real

The

F E AT U R E

It makes sense, then, that the college houses associated with upperclassmen— like the high–rises—have kitchens, as do the off–campus houses and apartments for which students depart. The places lacking those amenities—like the Quad—are destined to remain freshman–dominated without them. “We’d have to commit to real structural change

suggests how they'll live when they graduate. | By Sam Brodey

to make Ware a four–year house,” Dr. Schurmans tells me as we chat in his cozy office on the third floor of the Bodine building of Ware, where the door is always open. Adding kitchens and more bathrooms to entice students to stay would cost millions of dollars, which he says simply aren’t available right now. As it stands, “There’s value in moving off,” Dr. Schurmans says. “It’s cool that students have the choice.” But with that choice comes a challenge: to persuade residents to stay, he admits, “it’s up to us to make the pitch.” That pitch was not convincing enough for College senior Megan Ruben. She lived in Kings Court English House her freshman year, then moved into Sansom Place—a high–rise housing complex situated on Sansom Street between 36th and 37th streets—as a sophomore. When she arrived in the fall, she found that the reality of the building didn’t match up to the squeaky–clean image presented in Penn housing brochures. “It was totally gross… there was dust on everything and hair on the ground,” she says, adding that it took her a few days to clean the place before she could move in. Even so, throughout the year, pieces of the crumbling ceiling

would fall onto her stuff and the floor. In springtime came the “wildlife”: the countless cockroaches that infested the apartment she shared with two roommates. Instead of enjoying the kitchen she’d looked forward to, she had to deal with cockroaches in the stove and oven. Eventually, she says, “I let them have the kitchen.” She ended up confining her activities to her room, which she’d managed to roach–proof. By the end of that year, Megan says she was “so over” living on campus. For her junior year, she moved to Domus, a building at 34th and Chestnut streets that calls itself “a luxury apartment community.” Domus enjoys a low profile among off–campus residences—if you’ve heard of it at all, it’s usually along with the words “incredibly expensive.” So, while Megan’s new place is only a few blocks from her old one, the two feel like different worlds. Her apartment’s kitchen is immaculate (and roach–free), with marble countertops; the floors are handsome polished hardwood. Instead of run–down common rooms, Domus has study rooms with flat–screen TVs and sleek furniture. There is a private swimming pool. While she appreciates the increase in living comfort, the

amenities aren’t what Megan mentions when talking about the benefits of her new home. It’s close to her pre–med classes and SEPTA and, because very few undergrads live in the building, it’s quiet—instead of loud music, there’s the occasional dog bark and toddler squeal. Domus’ location on the east end of campus complicates her social life—it’s far from most of her friends, who live west of 40th Street. She compares it to the “real world,” where all your friends don’t live in the same building or down the block. Megan jokes that she “gets to have the illusion of being an adult.” That same illusion became very real for College senior Robert Franco during his junior spring, which he spent in an apartment at 47th and Pine streets. It wasn’t exactly his first choice: after spending the fall abroad, he scrambled to find housing until a friend found a stately old building with an inviting courtyard. It was far—30–minute walk to campus far—but Robert says he and his roommate “figured [they] could do it for one semester.” He ended up loving the experience: he raves about the neighborhood, which he calls “an oasis in West Philly,” with its leafy streets, friendly professor neighbors and charm-

S E P T E M B E R 1 9 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 3

F E AT U R E

to–day but with a constant eye on how each of those days prepare them for the future.

Gabe, for his part, will be leaving Ware this year. It’ll be bittersweet. His main reason for staying on campus was to, as he puts it, “pay it forward” by serving as a mentor to freshmen. “My freshman year, I needed a lot of help… older people living in the Quad helped me get through those experiences,” he says. He admits that for many Penn students, “it’s difficult to understand why you’d sacrifice personal liberty in housing.” For Gabe, sharing a bathroom with over 20 people was worth the opportunity to give back. Right now, he’s beginning the search for an apartment off–campus with some friends. He tells me he’s “looking at senior year now and thinking about life after graduation,” a life where your meals aren’t downstairs and the electricity bill isn’t sent to someone else. He doesn’t want to end up like people he knows at other schools— high school friends who went to Yale, Princeton—who weren’t interested in the “real world” experiences that Penn students are afforded through housing. We could be like them, content to while away their college years in the gothic halls of the Quad and put off life after graduation until we graduate. We're not.

Highest on–campus rent $11,988/year Single apartment in Harrison/Rodin/Harnwell Median on–campus rent $9,388/year Single in the Quad or Stouffer or “large single” in Hill Lowest on–campus rent $7,032/year Triple in Sansom Place West Newest Penn dorm Stouffer, 1972 Oldest Penn dorm Fisher Hassenfeld/Ware/ Riepe, constructed ca. 1890

ing cafes. As Robert expected, his move to a neighborhood more West Philadelphia than University City came with inconveniences. Carrying heavy books from Van Pelt at night was a chore; so was the social isolation of living so far away. In Robert’s mind, though, the pros outweighed the cons. He learned to master Penn Transit; instead of meeting friends at Tap House, he’d suggest Local 44. Ultimately, he says, living so far away “prepares you for real life… it put me into a healthy routine. I woke up at 8 a.m. every day. In the real world, your work won’t be down the block,” he says, “You can’t wake up at noon, roll out of bed and go to class.” These days, Robert lives a bit closer to campus— 41st and Pine—but he misses his old place. “You sort of forget about Penn. It’s like a home feeling.” To some degree, that home feeling is something that everyone—freshman or senior, on campus or off—is seeking. It’s an elusive feeling, sought in different places by different people. Some recreate it through the communal feel of college house life; others try to find an apartment or house and claim it as their own. But for Penn students, that feeling of “home” isn’t always as important as the feeling that your home is doing something for you. Regardless of whether they lived on campus or off, the people who told me their stories were overwhelmingly concerned with how their housing orients them for what’s next, whether that means being prepared for next year, or the year after that or life after Penn. The way Penn students approach housing reflects how they approach life: focused on the day–

Sam Brodey is a senior from Los Angeles, CA, studying political science. He is the Managing Editor for 34th Street Magazine.

Yale 87% of students live on campus Brown 79% of students live on campus Harvard “Nearly all” students live on campus

1 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E S E P T E M B E R 1 9 , 2 01 3

FILM & TV

CINEMATIC YEAR IN REVIEW: FOOD EDITION What happens when filmmakers moonlight as sous chefs? Results vary from the delectable (mmm… cake) to the vomit–inducing (we’ll leave you to guess this one).

“Django Unchained” White cake As if we didn’t have any more reasons to avoid this undoubtedly calorie–ridden dessert, we can all feel even more ashamed about eating “white” cake thanks to the epithet’s racially-charged connotations. Thanks, Tarantino. Shh… the “D” is silent.

“Silver Linings Playbook” Crabby snacks and homemades

UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA

Hillel

When it came to capturing the blue collar, suburbs–of–Philly vibe that pervades this sleeper hit, David O’Russell really hit it home with the food. Canned crabmeat mixed with canned cheese spread is never a good idea, but homemades, or homemade egg noodles, are exactly the kind of comfort food we’d like if we were recovering from a mental breakdown. B+

Loaf of bread

What represents pre–revolutionary, poverty–ridden France more than a (single) loaf of bread? Just don’t let Jean Valjean steal your breakfast, lunch and dinner. C–

Paul Rudd’s cupcakes The perrenial yuppie snack, this dessert is about as exciting as the movie was. C

6:30 pm Shabbat Services: Conservative, Orthodox, Shira Chadasha, Sephardic, and Reform 7:30 pm Shabbat Dinner, Falk Dining Commons

Saturday, October 5, 2013 9:00 am Orthodox Shabbat Services 9:45 am Conservative Shabbat Services 11:30 am Shabbat Lunch, Falk Dining Commons

The lit student’s quintessential biblical symbol, the poisonous apple, takes on a more technicolor and slightly less serious note in this prequel to “The Wizard of Oz.” Hey, at least they’re better than the mushy apples in Commons. B+

Chip hat

A giant sombrero made of tortilla chips… that contains guacamole in the brim. You never have to get up to dip a chip again. A, if you’re lazy

“World War Z”

Milky Way “I went out this morning and specifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my party. It’s not weird; it’s my special food and I like it.” Too bad we all want a piece, James Franco. A

Human flesh We probably went too far with this one. N/A

Family Weekend 2013

Steinhardt Hall 215 South 39th St. Steinhardt Hall (between Walnut 215and South 39th Street Locust Walk)

“Despicable Me 2”

“This Is the End”

PENN HILLEL

WEEKEND 2013

Friday, October 4, 2013

The apple

“This Is 40”

FAMILY October 4-6

“Oz the Great and Powerful”

“Les Misérables”

Every topping you could imagine.

Blended to Perfection.

(between Walnut and Locust Walk)

4-6

Advanced Meal Reservations are kindly requested Please register at www.pennhillel.org or contact Joan Bobroff at joanb@upenn.edu or 215-898-7391

CHECK OUT OUR PENN SPECIALS FOR JUST $4/$5/$6:

The Ben Franklin: Vanilla ice cream/yogurt, blended

with peppermint patties, Nutella, & chocolate chip cookie dough, topped with hot fudge

October

Sunday, October 6, 2013 10:00 am - 11:00 am Tour the Rare Judaica Book Collection at the Center for the Advanced Judaic Studies, 420 Walnut Street. Space is limited and RSVPs are required: 215-898-2520 or gulsoy@pobox.upenn.edu 11:00 - 12:30 pm Traditional Sunday brunch including entertainment and program highlighting Jewish life at University of Pennsylvania

Strawberry Shortcake: Vanilla ice cream/yogurt, strawberries, sugar cookie dough, & topped with whipped cream

The Hangover Cure: Butter pecan ice cream,

blended with maple syrup & bacon bits, topped with Golden Grahams

Locust Walk: Chocolate ice cream/yogurt, bananas, chocolate chip cookie dough, & Nutella Mom’s PB&J Crunch: Vanilla yogurt, peanut butter

cookie dough, Cap’n Crunch, strawberries, & peanut butter

The Upper Quad: Vanilla ice cream/yogurt, Oreo, Golden Grahams, & chocolate syrup

The Penn Alum Special: Chocolate ice cream/yogurt,

peanut butter, pretzels, & topped with Oreo crumbs

FREE DELIVERY AVAILABLE* Monday Night Football Specials 6pm-9:30pm Thursday Night Football Specials 6pm-9:30pm Wednesdays 5pm-8pm Sunday Football Specials 5pm-10pm * Minimum $15 per order (cash or credit). Email orders to: ScoopDeVilleDelivers@gmail.com

1315 Walnut Street | scoopdevilleicecream.com | 215-988-9992 O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5

FOOD & DRINK

POINT, COUNTERPOINT:

CHIPOTLE'S "THE SCARECROW"

Counterpoint: Manipulative

Point: Thought–provoking Chipotle’s Pixar–like ad “The Scarecrow” is arguably aimed at boosting revenue and its chilling depiction of industrialized food production makes steps in the right direction. In an industry of over–automated and unsustainable foodstuff, Chipotle’s effort to encourage ethical consumption is commendable. Although “The Scarecrow” idealizes somewhat beyond Chipotle’s sustainable capabilities, its grim portrayal of the food industry is bound to have societal benefits. This ad reaches a broader audience than other pleas for organic eats do; most health foods are generally expensive and inaccessible to consumers of fast food chains similar to Chipotle. This medium is also more communicable—an entertaining commercial will convey a message of “industrialized food is bad, local and sustainable food is good” much more rapidly and effectively than bland documentary–style texts or movies. Further, the ethos evoked by a warm animation style and sympathetic anti–hero allows for a stronger sentimental connection than a jumble of statistics does. And the fact that this advertisement has become a fervent topic of debate is an accomplishment in itself. The existence of this dialogue has allowed for people from all different walks of life to join the conversation and form opinions and responses to the problems of our food industry. Even if these conversations aren’t leading to immediate action, vitalizing the debate with new perspectives can do nothing but help. JESSICA YACKEY

Snagging “Pure Imagination,” a popular song from “Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory,” is one way to fool an audience. “Come with me, and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination.” Chipotle has really outdone itself with the new three–minute “Scarecrow” advertisement, the company’s latest attempt to deride mainstream factory farming and endorse their so–called organic, locally sourced and small–scale, family–farm supportive practices. But the only ones living in a world of pure imagination are the executives at Chipotle, the ad agency responsible for this borderline comical masterpiece and everyone who allowed him or herself to be fooled by Chipotle’s chip–ocracy. The animated video is a bit eerie in tone; a scarecrow works in a large industrial factory farm rife with appalling mechanized practices—heaps of cows confined in crates and obese, claustrophobic chickens about to be slaughtered—all masked by the motto “Feeding the World.” It’s true that such practices are the norm among industrial food companies and that the products they provide are rife

Sustainable.

1 6 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3

with genetically modified organisms, antibiotic–treated meat and produce grown via mono-cultures and energy intensive practices that are hardly humane and definitely eco–unfriendly. Rebelling against these horrors, the troubled scarecrow, an obvious avatar of the Chipotle corporation, heads to a small, pristine farm and begins harvesting his fresh vegetables (animal products are curiously absent) and cooking with them. Okay, so what? For Chipotle to just imply that its practices are sustainable and humane, well, feels like total bullshit. Are we just supposed to take Chipotle’s word that it's so radically better than Monsanto, McDonald’s, Kroger or the other food companies that claim to source their products sustainably and treat their workers humanely? As Diana Pritchard, a Michigan hog farmer who blogs at righteousbacon.com, phrased it, “Chipotle’s number one priority is to sell burritos by whatever means necessary.” Pulling at our heartstrings with a vague but beautiful short feels more exploitative than informative. If Chipotle really wants to convey its commitment to humane, sustainable food, it should give us full transparency from farm to table, rather than divert our attention with a story of “pure imagination.” HANNAH CUTLER

FOOD & DRINK

STREET MUSIC & FILM EDZ WEIGH IN ON "SCARECROW" "Without mentioning the word ‘Chipotle,’ Chipotle’s ad speaks for itself. Fiona Apple’s vocal rendition of “Pure Imagination” overlaps a slowpaced sequence of a beautifully rendered animation reminiscent of a Pixar or Dreamworks movie. In the same way the animation itself inspires a retro feel with its sepia palette, Apple’s deep jazz vocals undertow produces a nostalgic sound. Her deep vocals reflect the rich aesthetic visually present throughout the ad. Through a strong combination of acoustic and visual representations, Chipotle’s ad effectively portrays the thematic undertones of its marketing campaign." ARIELA OSUNA, MUSIC

LOCAL DJs SPINNING EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT FROM 9PM TO CLOSE MARGARITAS $5

EL JIMADOR AND FROZEN LIME

SANGRIA $5 "Fiona Apple’s cover of 'Pure Imagination,' from the original 'Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory,' is both haunting and impassioned. Where Gene Wilder’s version of the song is optimistic through and through, Apple’s offers a sense of angst that plays well as the backdrop of the themes of the ad. Her version offers an intensity that’s not present in the original and the risk delivers stellar results that showcase just how good a cover can be." CASSANDRA KYRIAZIS, MUSIC

RED AND WHITE

TECATE & MODELO $3 CANS

"From the warm color palette that clashes uncomfortably with the story’s dystopian message to the endearingly gangly figure of the titular scarecrow, the animation works surprisingly well on its own. It might even pass for a Pixar short (like the ones they show before their feature–length films). The story’s moral center, however, took a hard turn for us when Chipotle ended an otherwise heartlifting story with an ad for their iPad app. No, Chipotle, just no." MICHELLE MA, FILM & TV O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 17

FOOD & DRINK

Q&A: CHRISTOPHER SMITH, CAMPUS EXECUTIVE CHEF AND DONALD STAUFFER, EXECUTIVE CHEF AT HILL DINING CAFÉ Penn is working on its eco–profile by investing tons of resources into green development and environmental responsibility. And while our dining halls talk a big game on sustainability, we wanted to find out just how far they go to keep our food green. Street: Where does Penn’s food come from? Christopher Smith: Bon Appetit at Penn Dining sources its food from a number of different locations with a priority and focus always on local purveyors. As a company, Bon Appetit annually commits that 20% of its overall food purchases come from local vendors—according to their Farm to Fork program. Chefs at Bon Appetit are required to purchase at least 20 percent of their ingredients from small owner–operated farms and ranches located within 150 miles of their kitchens. Street: How much of Penn’s food is organic? Donald Stauffer: I have not placed a focus on organic products simply because there is not a consensus around terminology. To be organic, the product has to be grown or raised in organic means, but

past that point there is no regulation. For example, baby carrots are made by processing large carrots down. The large carrots can be grown organically, but then are processed into the baby carrots and run through a chlorine and chemical bath. The carrots can legally be called organic even though the chemicals were introduced into the product during processing. Street: Is any of it sustainably grown? CS: Our kitchen philosophy is simple. We cook from scratch using fresh, authentic ingredients. We start with food in its simplest, most natural form. We purchase local and seasonal products. We make our food alive with flavor and nutrition. Our freezers are small and our intention to serve great food is big. Menus are written based on seasonality and availabil-

1 8 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3

ity of regional fresh product. Whenever possible, these are produced locally using sustainable and organic practices. Turkey and chicken are produced without the routine use of antibiotics as a feed additive. Hamburgers are made with Certified Humane ground beef from cattle raised on vegetarian feed with no antibiotics or added hormones. Vegetarian options are plentiful at every meal. Street: Does Bon Appetit work with any local businesses? CS: Retail locations (Houston Market, Joe’s Café, Mark’s Café, 1920 Retail) are using a variety of local vendors, including Four Worlds Bakery, Rival Bros. Coffee, La Colombe, Flint Hill Farms, Capogiro Gelato, Metropolitan Bakery and Little Baby’s Ice Cream. Houston recently had a day where everything was locally sourced.

DS: On September 24, Bon Appetit as a company holds its annual Eat Local Challenge where chefs are “challenged” to source entire menus from 150 miles away or less—the only exception is salt. Additionally, during Spring semester, Bon Appetit will put on an event called Low Carbon Day. For this one day, each Bon Appétit café illustrates the principles of the Low Carbon Diet in menu choices and signage. For example, beef and cheese are high carbon foods because they come from cows, and cows emit methane gas, which is 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide. At the grill station on Low Carbon Diet Day, beef burgers get replaced by lower carbon choices such as turkey or black bean burgers. Street: Does Bon Appetit have any plans for the next few years to move towards

more sustainable or local food? CS: Bon Appétit will continue to work with the most responsible meat and poultry producers to pursue Animal Welfare Approved, Food Alliance, Humane Farm Animal Care or Global Animal Partnership certification of their animal welfare practices. These four programs have standards that not only prohibit such cruel practices as gestation crates and battery cages, but also require animals to be allowed to engage in their natural behaviors. Street: If Penn students are looking to eat healthy, is there a better dining hall/retail option? CS: All Bon Appetit locations on the University of Pennsylvania campus subscribe to the Bon Appetit philosophy and offer a variety of choices.

ARTS

Ellen Amaral Check out an extended interview with graphic designer Ellen Amaral @34st.com.

k c a B hool c S To

B Ic y c L E S P E c Ia

SchWINN

Frontier

MSRP BIcycLE + hELMET + u-LocK $389.99*

SchWINN

Speedster

3-SPEED • COASTER BRAKE • MSRP $400

FREE u-LocK* & hELMET*

KESWIcK cycLE PRIcE | $369.99

KESWIcK cycLE PRIcE | $299.99 * SUNLITE U-LOCK MSRP $24.99 • BELL SOL AR HELMET MSRP $34.99

uNIVERSITy cITy 4040 LocuST ST. (215) 387-2453

KESWIcK cycLE IS ThE oNLy BIKE ShoP oN caMPuS! And has the largest selection of new and used bicycles in Philly

do you haVE youR oLd BIKE FRoM BacK hoME? We can assemble and service it to use while you’re in school!

O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 9

ARTS

CONTRAPPOSTO: TAKING A STANCE ON THE PENN MUSEUM

Why we need to stop doing the Rocky steps and up to our own museum for once. Would you be able to tell me what you can find in the Penn Museum? It has collected over a million objects since its establishment in 1887, and it features the third largest sphinx in the world, but you probably haven’t been there since your freshman year toga party. What a shame. With so many ancient resources right on campus, why do we often forget about our lovely museum? Do our peers at Harvard forget about their Fogg Museum, or do Yalies bypass their Peabody Museum? Admittedly, parsing out the calcified sediments of Generation Y’s cultural apathy may take a while. And I really can’t speak for everyone. But frankly, despite the astonishing funds, it’s fair to say that the Penn Museum has never had its own “time to shine." Penn students can’t seem to grasp the artistic value of esoteric artifacts. We’ve failed it. The University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology has a world–renowned collection of artifacts—African, Egyptian, Near Eastern, Babylonian, Asian, American, Mesoamerican, Oceanic, Mediterranean and Physical Anthropological. And with over 400 archaeological and anthropological expeditions under its belt, the museum has distinguished itself among

2 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3

others around the world. It’s a leader in ethical practices, too. Since its adoption of “The Pennsylvania Declaration” in 1970, the museum acquires objects only with well–documented histories, preventing anything sketchy from getting swept under the carpet. Old Ben would be proud of how they embody our university motto, “laws without morals are in vain.” The crux of the matter may be the museum’s mission. It doesn’t compete with the PMA: the Museum does not focus on fine art. You won’t get Picassos and Duchamps there, but you will find objects just as significant: the bullhead lyre from Ur, massive totem poles from the Haida culture of the Pacific Northwest, bronze masks from the Edo culture in the African galleries and a raven mummy in the open conservation lab. In 2013, we’ve been mummified—stulted by the appeal of the avant garde—and need to let relics like Egyptian “Book of the Dead” readings reawken us. We need to champion this spectacular heritage on campus. While ancient history may not seem as sexy as contemporary conceptual sculpture, we can’t fully appreciate the present without understanding what came before. TRAVIS MAGER

ARTS

FIGMENT PHILADELPHIA: BRINGING CREATIVITY TO THE CITY This Sunday, art spills out of gallery walls. West Philly welcomes its newest interactive artwork: this Sunday, Clark Park will be transformed into a multi–part installation called FIGMENT Philadelphia, consisting of over 45 different participatory art pieces. FIGMENT was first held on New York’s Governor’s Island in 2007 and has since expanded to other cities The founders conceived of FIGMENT as a solution to what they saw as the most pressing issues in the current art scene: art’s lack of accessibility and its over–commercialization. To counter those problems, they hosted a celebration of the arts that was free, interactive and open to everyone. “Most experiences in our world today are commodified,” says Bevan Weisman, Lead Producer of FIGMENT Philadelphia. “You pay for something and expect something in return. We see FIGMENT as a day free of those expectations.” Commercial transactions of any kind are prohibited at the event, there are no corporate advertisements and the organization runs completely on volunteers. Through their freedom from commercial interests, FIGMENT seeks to make art accessible, enjoyable and engaging for everyone. Since the first event, FIGMENT has grown to include tens of thousands of participants in nearly a dozen cities. Coming to Philly for the first time this year, it calls itself “an explosion of creative energy.” Because FIGMENT doesn’t involve any curation or selection process, anyone with an idea can submit a project. As long as it meets space requirements, it will be included.

Weissman, lead producer of FIGMENT Philadelphia, was first involved with FIGMENT in Boston. When he moved to Philly, he felt that the city had a great creative energy and was “ripe” for an event of this type. Weissman calls FIGMENT “a platform for everyday people to show off what they made and bring it to the public.” The art is not just to look at, but to interact with and enjoy. Many of the projects involve games or activities aimed at children, meant to encourage creativity and imagination. Projects include everything from installations and experimental music to inflatable structures and dances. Many involve games or activities aimed at children, meant to encourage creativity and imagination. This Sunday, over 45 pieces will be featured. Mirabai Galashan’s project “The Love Seat” consists of an inflatable couch offering comfort to anyone who needs it; Philly’s Spiral Q PuppetTheater will be on–site allowing kids to try their hand at expressing themselves through large, quirky puppets; and Frank’s Kitchens, a design collaborative based in Kensington, will have a collection of “Mutant Bikes,” chopped up bikes reassembled into metal structures that visitors can test out. FIGMENT seeks to stand for principles like inclusion, self–reliance and environmental consciousness. The organizers believe that “art isn’t about creating an object that can be bought and sold, or creating a ‘show’ that you pay to attend—it’s about creating a shared experience.” EMILY GRABLUTZ

FRINGE: GET THE DEETS WHO: Volunteers, Philadelphians and you. WHAT: An open, interactive art event. WHERE: Clark Park, 43rd Street and Baltimore Avenue. WHEN: This Sunday, October 6, 11 a.m.–5 p.m. WHY: To bring creative, exciting, participatory art to everyone.

O C T O B E R 3 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 2 1

LOWBROW

25 Ways To Get Over Your Cat Leaving You 7. Spend more time with your other cats.

My Illness Is Rare And Nobody Believes Me My body type just doesn't look good in sweaters.

How It Feels To Go Down 8 Sizes I Have A Specific Number Of And Still Be Obese Problems I still sweat a lot when I put on my shoes.

2 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E S E P T E M B E R 1 9 , 2 01 3

6 Ways People Misspell My Unusual Name One of them is racist.

I Masturbated Myself To A New Me

12. I have a crippling fear of odd numbers. I used to spend a lot of time alone. Now I spend a lot of time alone masturbating.

LOWBROW

Disclaimer: This could totally be real, but it's not.

The 35 Subtle Differences BeI Just Had Sex With A Cheese tween Poor People and People Pizza I should have waited for it to cool. Now With Class 3. Money.

This Thing Makes Sex The Best

This is sure to get a lot of traffic since I'm irreverent. And I'm talking about sex.

I've got some 'splaining to do.

everyday

YOGA HOUR for just

This Place Where I Spent A Temporary Amount Of Time Changed My Life Forever

The passage of time, events and then a change, many commas, you can tell I am a Serious Writer that way, and also because, this is all one sentence.

Center City

1700 Sansom St, 6th ďŹ&#x201A;r.

@mahayogastudio

215.864.0770

mahayogastudio.com S E P T E M B E R 1 9 , 2 01 3 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 2 3

PENN'S DORMITORIES

New

Old

1900 1960 1960

The Quad

Seargent Hall (now Domus)

Hill College House

2013 2013 2013