October 13, 2011

October 13, 2011 34st.com

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT

Molly

The rise of MDMA and electronic dance music at Penn

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

10.13.11 Inside: PAGE 6

PAGE 13

3 highbrow

Sorority or pity porn? true life, overheard at penn, toasts and roasts, word on the street.

4 EGo

Students play tricks on you. fake break, penn illusionists, ego of the week sika gasinu.

6 FOOD & DRINK

Opa! or Hell Yeah! or Let's Dance!

Blind Date, Frankford Hall REVIEW, combo of the week.

8 FEATURE

Glow lights and Molly.

The rise of MDMA use on campus.

VEGAS OR BUST. BUT REALLY JUST BUST.

FROMTHEEDITOR

I

had big plans for Fall Break. I wanted to go to Vegas. I had visions of flaunting my legality. I would sit at a slot machine, shmooze with Cher and sneak into the Real World suite at the Palms.

Then Yom Kippur happened.

With a last name like Goodman, I knew I couldn’t spend the holiest day of the year parading around with would–be Vegas showgirls. (Said would­–be showgirls ended up spending their breaks on couches in New Jersey and Los Angeles. Hey guys.)

Instead I went home to celebrate the Day of Atonement. But then a terrible, horrible thing happened. I didn’t go to temple. I’m admitting this in print: I didn’t go to temple on Yom Kippur. I didn’t even fast.

While my parents were starving and shuckling at shul I was sitting in bed eating challah and watching the CW’s The Secret Circle — all four episodes. Back to back.

I guess I can make myself feel better and say that in between tweenage witch clips, I

reflected on the past year and repented in my own way.

In reality I just snacked on my mom’s homemade matzoh balls.

And she didn’t even make me feel bad. “It’s OK,” she comforted me. “You can ‘work on your paper’ if that’s what you need to do.”

(Best mom in the world right there.)

I guess I should have been more productive — or at least more God–fearing — this break. I could have brewed my very own beer like our Ego of the Week (p. 4). I could have watched Rent for the 18th time (p. 11).

I could have even gone to see some cool sexy art exhibits in Philly (p. 13).

So to all who ask me this weekend, “How was your break?”: I learned a lot about magic and gained three pounds.

Street life,

10 MUSIC

Reliving your Format loving days from high school. fun Interview, spec fall concert preview, guest mixtape.

11 FILM

Our couch is fixed.

Kevin Bacon nostalgia.

Footloose review, the state of film musicals.

12 ARTS

Four–foot long chalk.

Vox Populi gallery review, shepard fairey murals, designphiladelphia.

14 LOWBROW

Yet another reason to come hang out with us.

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

Mama Gutmann breaks her silence.

Penn Wikileaks, rant of the week, top ten.

2

16 back page

STREET Writers' Meeting 6:30 p.m. TONIGHT 4015 Walnut St.

The fairest of the seasons.

Seasonal guide to philly.

34th Street Magazine Jessica Goodman, Molly Dolly Nick Stergiopoulos, Ciggz Frida Garza, Dem Shrooms Kendall Haupt, Straight Up Crack Joshua Goldman, Feel the Ecstasy Tucker Johns, French Fries Paige Rubin, Black Market Deals Stephanie Rice, A Little Less Black Market Deals Faryn Pearl, OxyContin Leah Steinberg, LSD Mady Glickman, Peyote Nina Wolpow, Xanax

Sam Brodey, Cough Syrup Jake Spinowitz, Morphine Drip Hilary Miller, PCP Shelby Rachleff, Nitrous Oxide Ellie Levitt, Weed. Word.

Megan Ruben, Opium Anthony Khaykin, Heroin Sandra Rubinchik, Crystal Meth Will Baskin–Gerwitz, Steroids Alex Hosenball, Huffing Alexandra Jaffe, Angel Dust Adrian Franco, Special K

UnderTheButton.com

Morgan Finkelstein, Burr Michael Arnstein, White Cross Ian Bussard, Viagra Monika Knapp, Snuff Lora Rosenblum, the Need for Speed Sandra Rubinchik, Crystal Meth AJ Thomas, Spoosh Cover photo: Adrian Franco

Contributors: Dawn Androphy, Eillie Anzilotti, Tim Chow, Chloe Corner, Patrick Ford–Matz, Wyatt Hilkene, Brian Horwich, Jillian Kaltman, Austin Levitt, Louise Malle, Jessica Marder, Isabel Oliveres, Lauren Reed–Guy, Vinita Saggurti, Zeke Sexauer, Rebecca Stein, Ajai Vishwanath, Sydney Werber

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Jessica Goodman, Editor-–in–Chief, at goodman@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.

Visit our web site: www.34st.com "What's Chinese pizza?" ©2011 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published

by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.

ST

HIGHBROW

TRUE LIFE: I HATE MY ROOMMATE It was the bag of vomit, I think. That was the moment when I realized that I hate my roommate.

About a week and a half into classes, after feeding my pasta toss addiction at Houston and pretending to study for a couple hours, I returned to my room to find it smelling of decomposing Chipotle, Dark Temptation Axe body spray and something far, far more sinister.

It smelled like… like the floor of a frat bathroom.

Like the inside of one of those little bags they give weak–willed passengers on airplanes. Like… NSO. More specifically, the second night of NSO when, as it turns out, my roommate had vomited into a plastic bag and nestled it snugly in the back of our closet.

The open containers of food he hid under my bed were fine. They attracted all sorts of creatures, but I was considering being a Bio major so I didn’t say anything. The overuse of Dark Temptation Axe was fine too — I never had to worry about being sexiled.

Even the time he blew his nose and left the dirty tissue postin’ up atop my pillow was fine. I told myself it’d strengthen my immune system. But when, in an attempt to excavate my Sperry’s from the closet, I discovered his pukey little surprise, I decided enough was enough.

No more coming in at 3 a.m. on weeknights and making phone calls to girls who, seriously bro, are not interested in you. No more inviting your friends over without warning to sleep on the floor right next to my bed (seriously, if I broke his rib, it’s his problem).

No more telling me that I brush my teeth too often (twice a day, thank you very much), or wearing my flip-–flops into the shower (the horror), or thinking that we share an umbrella (it’s my umbrella, not the umbrella).

No. No more. If anyone’s looking for a roommate, you can find me at the place where hygiene, social tact and completed digestion come to die.

TOASTS&ROASTS In the days leading up to break, Highbrow noticed some sketch behavior. And you thought you had gotten away with it…

The weekend before break, ATO hosted a Circus Berzerkus party complete with a bouncy castle and a super creepy clown. Two crazy freshmen co–opted the castle as their own personal sex spot. This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “get a room.” But seriously, get one.

In the billionth chapter of Reasons Why Penn Alert Sucks, a man unaffiliated with Penn was shot in the head at 44th and Market, and we didn’t get so much as a text about it. Just to clarify, in terms of dangerous things we want to know about, people gettting shot in the head are pretty high up there. Just keep it in mind, thanks.

at

SDT girl: Wait, guys, how do you spell sorority? Because when I text it, my phone says “porn pity.”

Frat guy: Dude, tonight I’m gonna play spin the bottle in my head and wing man for you in whatever direction it lands.

Girl walking in the rain: Ugh, walking and holding an umbrella at the same time is such a struggfest.

Tabard chick 1: What are you doing tonight?

Tabard chick 2: Who are you doing tonight?

Street had a cray–cray fall break. Did you? Check our destination map at 34st.com/highbrow to see where you ended up.

FALL BROKEN: MY EUROPEAN F.O.M.O.

BY HILARY MILLER

E

very rising junior is forced to make the fateful decision of whether or not to study abroad. At the time, it seems there are infinite factors to consider. On campus, you have clubs and organizations that you are working your way up in, friends who swear they are staying and majors with required classes. And sometimes, for some, the allure of getting Penn credit for easy classes while drinking every night and jetsetting on weekends isn’t enough to pull them away from Philly. I was one of those people.

There are plenty of ways to avoid the hurt of missing all of your friends’ expeditions overseas.

For one, keeping in close contact only makes the pain worse. Sure, I miss you, but no, I don’t want to know that your classes meet only once a week for an hour and have 150–word papers as finals.

The worst are the weekly email updates. At first, they are sweet and refreshing to hear, and you even appreciate the pictures they attach. Australia really is beautiful! But as the weather turns cold in Philly, those emails begin to read as more and more boastful passive aggression. Good for you and your weekend in Thailand. The elephant in the picture is ugly anyway.

Beyond this, I committed another cardinal sin: visiting my friends abroad. London seemed to be an easy getaway over the five–day fall break. At the beginning of the summer, tickets were reasonably priced and staying with friends meant that I’d have no further travel expenses. Might as well, right?

Wrong.

London was heartbreakingly perfect. So perfect, in fact, that I couldn’t care about the consistently grey sky and the poor exchange rate. All I saw were the fun opportunities that I could be having for months, not just days. Pubs and bars liked me for me. They didn’t need me to be older or ask that I fake an identity to get in before they mockingly refuse me at the door. I was accepted.

I loved this land where the Underground is a satisfactory (read: fairly clean, timely and efficient) mode of transportation. The streets were clean and showcased a beautiful history, showcasing architecture that we appreciate in our few square blocks of Old City. And the best part: all the people sound intelligent. That elitist accent of theirs made everything seem eloquent. I was instantly hooked.

Disappointingly, my love affair with this foreign city was cut unceremoniously short. Packed up and shipped home on a seemingly endless eight–hour flight, I felt rejected by this alternate life. In the end, I guess it’s my own fault. I’m the one who didn’t choose it. For now, I’ll be waiting for the lights to go up on Locust and for my friends to come home. I don’t even like beer — I’m looking at you, Oktoberfest.

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

Fall break may feel like nothing more than a glorified three–day weekend, but that’s only because you don’t know how to work it. Toasts to those who made the most of the holiday.

This past Saturday, Penn kids came out to Sensation in full force. Juniors, both abroad and not–abroad, flocked to Barcelona to dance to DJs they’ve never heard of and sweat through their obligatory all–white outfits. One AEPi guy even booked a hotel suite at the W and hosted a pregame so that no one would have to suffer Sensation sober. How generous. And despite rumors that lunatics were running around with HIV–infected needles, everyone survived the night, with everything intact but his/her dignity.

With Yom Kippur over break, many JewPenn kids spent time devoutly repenting for their sins with fasting and prayer. Others, not so much. We hear a group of SDT girls and ZBT guys tripped to something other than Manischewitz. Certainly an interesting way to reflect on the new year… we like the creativity.

over heard PENN

wordonthestreet

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

34

3

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

34

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EGO

egoof the week: Sika gasinu

She’s a volunteer firefighter, photographer, nutrition advocate, emergency medical technician, PennQuest leader and homebrewer. Basically, Sika Gasinu is our hero. Here she dishes about carrot cake, time traveling and, uh, poop.

Street: Where does one get a brew kit?

Sika Gasinu: There’s actually a lot of home–brew stores in Philly. I went to one called “Keystone Home Brew.” It’s this huge warehouse, and they have this stuff to make beer, wine, cheese… There’s an absinthe maker. Isn’t that insane?

Street: What’s your best PennQuest Story?

SG: Most funny PennQuest stories deal with poop. I don’t know if you want to print this.

Street: Keep going.

SG: During my freshman year, a couple of the kids in my group did a partner poop. Basically you hold hands with someone, lean backwards… Well, you can do back to back, or…

Street: Do you actually poop?

SG: Yeah, this is for people actually pooping.

PennQuest is an interesting thing. If you didn’t do it, it sounds really weird, but when you’re on the trip… I promise, we’re not crazy. Well, we are a little crazy.

Street: When you were on MERT, what was the

most stupid call that you received?

SG: I never had calls for stupid things. The only calls I ever had were related to people being really, really drunk. It’s pretty boring — just drunk Penn kids.

Typical.

Street: You’re stuck on a deserted island. What inanimate object would you make your buddy?

SG: Did you say dessert island?

Street: Deserted! Deserted island.

SG: Well, if it was dessert island, I would absolutely bring carrot cake. I am obsessed with carrot cake.

Street: Is carrot cake actually nutritional?

SG: No. I mean, there’s carrots, but you mix it with a lot of sugar. It’s not great for you, but I think it’s awesome.

Street: If you could take anyone from anytime on a quest, who would it be?

SG: Okay, the funny thing is, when I first applied to be a PennQuest leader, this was my question, and I gave the worst answer in history. I finally decided I would go

hummus grill 34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

make it a feast!

Street: But would you want to go on a quest with them?

SG: It would be interesting to get Victorian women out of their comfort zones. That’s the whole point of PennQuest. Taking people out of their comfort zones to get to know them better.

Street: By comfort zones you mean discomfort zones? Considering they’re in corsets.

SG: Exactly! Maybe hiking wouldn’t be so bad because they’re used to wearing corsets all the time. It shifts your bones and it’s weird. Weird stuff happens with corsets.

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Fall break was four days long. That’s barely enough time to rewatch the entire season of Dance Moms. Chances are, your Fall Break wasn’t anything special. But you won’t tell your friends that. Ego can see right through you.

What you said you did: You went up to NYC and topped off every night by going to nightclubs full of sexy Scandinavian babes. Who you, uh, totally ended up banging.

What you really did: Went up Illustrations by Faryn Pearl

to Long Island and topped off every night on www.sexyscandinavianbabes.com.

What you told people happened: You ended up spending the whole break in New York City gallivanting with celebrities and eating gourmet food — all compliments of one very in love Chase Crawford.

What really happened: You took the train into the city from New Jersey, ate a hot dog from the street side vendors and saw a burnt–out TV star you vaguely recognized from some '90s sitcom.

What you said you did: You’re completely exhausted from your wild weekend at the lakehouse.

What actually happened: Your parents really needed a third player for late–night Bananagrams at the family reunion… every night of fall break.

What you said you did: You visited your best friend at Michigan. Tailgating could not have been more awesome. Go Blue!

What actually happened: Your best friend had a little too much fun and you spent the entire day holding her hair in 30–degree weather. Never made it to the football game.

Michigan won.

What you said you did: You rekindled your romance with an old flame back home.

What you said you did: You’re glad you

What actually happened: You ran into him in the grocery store

stayed at Penn because you finally got better acquainted with the historical Philadelphia area.

and he said you should totally catch up some time.

What actually happened: You got a little lost trying to find Penn Park so you got to see Drexel’s dragon statue.

What you said you did: You finally

What you said you did: Oh, you didn’t do much. Just stayed at home and watched some movies with the family.

What actually happened: Well, you didn’t want to brag about it, but…

mustered up the motivation to go on that diet you’ve been talking about. You went the the gym, ate healthy food… and, well, the results speak for themselves!

What actually happened: Yom Kippur.

What’s to be learned from these card–carrying magicians.

By leah steinberg

A

t the first workshop of the Penn Illusionists club, we sat on cushions with two accomplished student–magicians, prepared to be tricked. Jiten Suthar, one quarter of the club’s board, shuffled a perfectly normal deck of cards and chatted us up. One of the neophytes, a freshman who had been wooed at the activities fair, picked

a card, any card, whichever card she wanted.

After more quick–handed showmanship, Suthar coolly asked us to turn around. The four of spades had been drawn on a sign and posted behind us across the room.

Tell me how you did that. Now. Because this was a public workshop and not a performance, Suthar let us in on a few of his secrets.

Out of some respect for his craft, but mostly pure cowardice, I cannot publish the trick behind his trick. But that isn’t the most important thing to be learned at a Penn Illusionists meeting.

The essence of the magic lies in smooth talking, not sleight of hand. Perhaps because the Penn Illusionists are the Penn Illusionists, much of the night’s discussion centered on learning how to talk like you know what you’re saying and how to dupe people that fancy themselves to be smart. This isn’t

too hard, considering that “the most intelligent people are the easiest to fool,” Suthar said.

Tell the audience you’ve studied cognitive science and devised a trick based on heavy experimentation, or that “retinal printing” allows you to see the card in the audience member’s pupil. This is a stunt Ross Karlan, a Penn Illusionists board member, likes to use.

Essentially, the magic lies in distracting the audience with words. The group’s leaders, Karlan and Suthar, are middle school hobbyists who grew up and went to college but still haven’t put down the deck. To them, any situation provides an opportunity to dazzle bystanders. “It’s not weird at all to bust out the cards,” said Suthar. “But maybe make sure that everyone’s sufficiently drunk.”

The Penn Illusionists meet every other week in Platt to teach aspiring magicians their craft.

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

Barcelona, bitches!

THE PENN ILLUSIONISTS ARE TRICKY

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

FAKE BREAK

5

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

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FOOD&DRINK

W

D N I BL ATE D

e set up two students, Chloe Corner and Wyatt Hilkene, on a blind date. Location: Opa, a modern Greek restaurant. OK, so the date wasn’t totally blind: we found out they are in the same Spanish class, though never really spoke before their date. Will a little amour be on the menu for these two singles?

The brave singles

Chloe Corner, a Philly native and Tabard sophomore, describes herself as “a crazy late–teen looking to party and get into some post–drink debauchery.” She’s looking for a tall, dark and handsome man who's willing to buy the drinks and make the 5 a.m. walk of shame.

Wyatt Hilkene hails from Kansas and is Beta President Emeritus. He’s a senior who enjoys the “the finer, frattier things in life.” He says that he doesn’t really have a type per se: “I think every girl has unique qualities that make her attractive in her own way. That being said, blonde–haired, blue–eyed and bustacious."

Chloe Corner: Spanish 130 frat star — he held the door for me and paid for the cab.

Boom!

Wyatt Hilkene: To be honest, going into a blind date you kind of expect the worst (swamp monsters, she–demons and the like). Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised and excited about the date after meeting up.

The Place 34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

1311 Sansom St. (215) 545–0170

$$$$$

Photos by Adrian Franco

First Impressions

6

opa

CC: Good environment for a quasi–blind date… Small, not too quiet, Greco–modern decor and a great drink selection. It has windows that open almost floor to ceiling. In the back of the room, it’s a cozier scene. Everything is close and intimate, so a good setting for a small group or for a large group to rent out.

WH: The restaurant was pretty sleek and had a clean decor. Most importantly, its bar was sizable, which I respect in any restaurant.

The Service

CC: The wait staff was really nice and accommodating, not too slow, suggested things for us to get on the menu.

WH: Our waitress was very helpful with our order and perfectly friendly.

The Food

CC: We ordered pita with hummus and tzatziki sauce ($12), zucchini chips ($12), spinach croquettes ($8), octopus platter ($14), calamari ($10), mini–gyros ($9) and some kind of feta cheese pastry called a “zimi” ($6), which was sub–par compared to the other dishes. The majority of the dishes tasted 10 times better (a tough accomplishment) with tzatziki.

WH: The dining experience was similar to tapas–style. Our food came out whenever it was ready, so we had a bunch of different flavors available. This allowed us to get creative at one point, crafting a mind–blowing pita sandwich complete with calamari, octopus and topped with tzatziki. When we ate it, it was as if Poseidon was smiling down at us from above. For dessert, we ordered some loukoumades (fried donut balls) with chocolate dipping sauce ($8) and baklava ($8). We did some damage.

The Conversation

CC: The convo flowed well from the beginning, especially once we were into the meal.

We bonded over our Spanish 130 experiences and general misbehavior.

WH: Chloe was great. Cool, calm and collected. She told hilarious stories and was entertaining the whole night. Our conversation flowed similar to our bottle of Rose ($46); easily and plentiful. And yes, I said rose.

Seconds?

CC: I can’t wait to go back! It's definitely better than my usual Greek Lady Chicken Platter.

WH: Yeah — I’d definitely go back.

We meant the date…

CC: I would consider us to be taste–bud compatible, and we got along really well, so there could be another date in the future.

WH: Of course, I had an awesome time with her and I’d love to go out again.

T

COME TRY...

PHILLY’S BEST

By Tim Chow

frankford hall beer garden 1210 Frankford Ave. (215) 634–3338

Getting out of your comfort zone

Don't Miss: The Franziskaner

Hefeweizen. It tastes like banana.

Skip: The grub — who needs it.

$$$$$

a brilliant light gold. On the other hand, the Spaten Oktoberfest was a mixed bag. This darker beer had a less complex flavor dominated by malt candy, which, perfect for sipping, may be disappointing to those who yearn for sophisticated, layered flavors in their booze.

The bottled offerings included some highly rated options, ranging from the Weihenstephanedr Hefeweissbier — an unfiltered wheat brew — to higher ABV labels such as the Ayinger Celebrator Doppelbock and the Kulmbacher Reichelbrau Eisbock.

Two excellent domestic brews, Dogfish Head’s My Antonia and Great Lakes’ Dortmunder Gold, were also on tap during my visit. Dogfish Head’s 60 Minute IPA was available as well. While I would think it a shame to pass over the unique imported offerings for mainstream brands, Narragansett, Yuengling and Miller are of course available for order.

COMBO OF THE WEEK

+ tim chow

Frankford Hall’s food selection is somewhat limited, offering salad and pretzel appetizers ($5 to $12) and unsurprisingly, a range of sausages ($5 to $7). The Jagerschnitzel pork cutlet ($15) was tasty, the accompanying potato salad ordinary. The daily special was the BBQ Chicken Sandwich ($8), which we found to be flavorful and well–textured.

Be warned, though — the

serving sizes may underwhelm hungry stomachs.

While its Fishtown location makes the biergarten slightly less accessible, the outlying site offers visitors respite from the noisy environs of our on– campus watering holes. The outdoor seating is a wonderful novelty, and those who fancy nursing a bottle of good German bier will find this place to be a little hidden gem.

Getting (tzatziki) sauced

+ Getting with someone new

Look smart.

Bring in ad & get 20% off food with Penn ID

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make your appointment today (215) 222-9252 • 3743 Walnut St., Philadelphia, PA 19104 www.penncampushairsalon.com

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

ucked away in the Fishtown neighborhood northeast of Center City is a new biergarten that should excite even aficionados. Frankford Hall, located near the junction of Frankford and Girard Avenues, offers a fine selection of quality German beers and fare in a relaxed atmosphere perfect for chilling out after a long week.

The biergarten offers both indoor and outdoor seating; the latter has a fire pit where friends can sit to chat on temperate evenings. Two ping– pong tables adorn the space, and patrons can be seen playing board games alongside mugs of German beer and plates of hot food.

Frankford Hall’s beer list is undoubtedly the highlight.

Though offerings are not as extensive compared to those at Cav’s and Tap House, Frankford Hall lists more than a dozen German beers, both bottled and on tap. Plus, the prices are reasonable; pints start at $6.

On recommendation, we tried the Franziskaner Hefeweizen, a weissbier (a wheat beer, its name is German for “white beer”). We liked its unintimidating flavor: laced with notes of banana, the beer was served in a traditional tall Weizen glass and poured

A beer lover’s take on what’s pouring at Frankford Hall.

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

FRANKFORD, FRANKFORD, HOW DOES YOUR GARTEN GROW?

7

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

By jessica goodman

“D

ude!” one boy grabbed his friend’s hand. “I’m rolling face right now!”

His friend nodded and swayed into him, putting an arm around the first boy’s shoulder. “Me too, man.”

The two were shirtless and sweaty, covered in glitter and donning glow stick necklaces. Their attention turned to the stage where Pretty Lights, the aptly named electronic–music act, ended the packed Popped! Festival with explosive visualizations and ground– shaking electro–beats. 15 or so Penn students surrounded the boys.

They all shook their bodies in waves with wide eyes. They were mesmerized by the lights, sounds and flying limbs.

They had all eaten Molly — the street name for pure MDMA. They were rolling.

It’s almost impossible to pinpoint Molly’s mainstream entrance at Penn.

It could have been last Spring Fling’s Delancey block party where half of the attendees featured bright paints and dilated pupils. Or this summer, when Swedish DJ Avicii trotted up and down the east coast, stopping in Philly and playing sold out shows where Penn students danced on the shoulders of one another. Or this semester’s paint party, DayGlow, where two campus dealers sold dirty Molly to more than a dozen students. Perhaps Molly’s presence was solidified three weeks ago at the Popped! where peers rolled next to one another sandwiched in the Liacouras Center.

Molly — the ‘pure’ form of ecstasy — has invaded Penn’s mainstream party culture. Those that roll on Molly can eat, snort or parachute (fold the powder into a tissue and swallow) the drug. At an average street price of $15 a hit — 0.1 of a gram — Molly is a synthesized methamphetamine that floods users’ brains with excess sero-

tonin, the neurotransmitter associated with happiness.

Dr. Neta Zach, a professor who teaches the course entitled ‘Drugs, Brain and Mind’ explains Molly’s effects: “You would find things hilarious and you would also have an inflated self–esteem. You see sensory changes in the environment and you feel a sense of well–being, an interest in the environment, a sense that the world is good.”

Dr. Zach comments that MDMA can be therapeutic, “It is reexamined for cases of posttraumatic stress disorder to alleviate some of the anxiety.

It helps you approach memories in a context of well–being and care.”

It’s also a party drug.

According to a 2010 study by the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, approximately 12.4 percent of Americans between the ages of 18 and 25 have taken MDMA at least once.

With minimal immediate dangers — among them dehydration, dry mouth and jaw clenching — those on Molly can experience three to four hours of synthetic and uninterrupted bliss.

Nancy*, a junior from the Northeast who can’t count how many times she’s rolled, first tried Molly the summer after her freshman year. She remembers her first experience at Camp Bisco, an upstate New York music festival started by trance fusion band, the Disco Biscuits. “I didn’t even know I had those dance moves! I was just dancing my heart out, loving the music; it couldn’t have been better.”

Since then, she’s noticed an increase in Molly’s presence on campus. “The first time I did it at Penn was for a frat downtown last year — Darude was playing. I saw all these kids chewing on straws,” a common alleviation for Molly’s jaw clenching side effect.

The rise in popularity of dubstep,

electronic and house music is slowly overtaking that of traditional rock music. Tiesto, a DJ that costs more to see than Bob Dylan, found his face on a recent issue of the L.A. Times.

Deadmau5, a DJ who performs while wearing a gigantic mouse head, played a jam–packed finale at this year’s

“

I didn’t even know I had those dance moves. I was just dancing my heart out, loving the music; it couldn’t have been better.

Lollapalooza. Coldplay closed the same stage two nights before to a tame crowd of fans. Even at Popped!, Pretty Lights ended the Saturday night set with kids clawing to get on stage.

The night before, the Shins closed the night softly to a half– full stadium.

These events create an opportunity for Molly users to roll in an environment where flashing lights and infectious dance beats propel drug use. MDMA becomes not just socially acceptable but almost a prerequisite.

Evan*, a freshman from Louisiana, first tried Molly with friends from high school when Skrillex — an electronic musician who appeared on the October cover of Spin’s rave generation issue — came to town.

Earlier this month, Evan had tickets for the September 23 Deadmau5 concert. He bought Molly through a delivery service that an RA in the Quad referred him to. He spent $210 on 1.75 grams of Molly for himself and a few

freshman friends.

But it’s not always about the music.

For Sophia*, an engineering junior who says she’s rolled at least ten times, Molly is about introspection. “I don’t think I’ve rolled at as many concerts as most people.” For her, the emotional realizations are more important than the music–enhancing effects. “I think people are looking for something slightly different when they’re on Molly. It’s a chiller feeling. It’s more of the intimacy, more of the introspective, making connections with other people. You can sit down in a chair on Molly and talk to someone and be extremely happy.”

She describes her best roll with big eyes and fast talk. “We were driving a boat at one of my friend’s lake houses. You could see the sun coming up and the light was coming through the trees. It was flashing like a natural strobe light effect. You’re getting spray in your face. It’s all the stuff you get at raves, but in nature.”

When asked if Nancy’s friends at Penn have taken Molly, she nods heartily. “Everyone. I mean tons. It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. It’s the same at other schools too.” While it’s impossible to claim that “everyone” at Penn is doing Molly, its presence is noticeable.

Travis*, a college junior who sells Molly intermittently, claims, “It’s like saying everyone smokes pot. It seems like they do but obviously not everyone does.” Travis sold about 80 hits of Molly (eight grams) at last year’s Spring Fling, earning him approximately $1,500 in profits. He ingested about 10 hits, or one gram, of Molly that weekend. Travis, like many campus drug dealers, is in a fraternity. Most of his customers were referrals from his frat brothers.

Greek life — roughly 30 percent

of Penn’s undergraduate student body — seems to be a driving force behind upped Molly usage. Three fraternities whose brothers lived in houses on Delancey Street threw last Fling’s block party. In addition to standard frat party keg stands, house doors were open to students who snorted Molly off glass tables. Dozens of girls sported sorority–lettered neon jerseys and rolled to the beats of Penn band, Slow Dance Chubby — comprised of members of five different fraternities.

Patrick*, a junior from California who is unaffiliated with the Greek system, claims, “Electronic music helped bring

“

or heroin. Evan reiterates, “People who’ve never smoked before — hardly drank — just did Molly because they were like, ‘There’s nothing really wrong with it because it’s not cut with heroin or anything.’ It lets people feel better about it.”

But Molly trips aren’t always cuddle puddles and rainbow stickers.

Because of its powder form, buyers may not know that seemingly ‘pure’ MDMA could be cut with anything.

Nancy recounts two of her female friends who bought what they thought was ecstasy from a sophomore fraternity dealer for this fall’s DayGlow.

He bought Molly through a delivery service that an RA in the Quad referred him to.

acceptance to mainstream MDMA use. The Greek scene appears extremely mainstream to me. When you start doing things like ecstasy and that’s mainstream of course people are going to do it… because it’s great” Patrick remembers that he used to take three or four ecstasy pills a night when going to raves in high school.

Now, a few years older, he does Molly two or three times a year and appreciates the creed of Ann and Sasha Shulgin, a married couple credited with the popularization of MDMA in the 1970s. After a deep drag on a marijuana vaporizer Patrick says, “It should be a really special experience and a time to reevaluate and remember what’s important in your life and remember all the love and stuff.”

Molly’s ‘purity’ may attract those unlikely to try hard drugs with more dangerous reputations like cocaine

“He told them it was ecstasy but it was powder in a capsule. He kept confusing it and then said that it was cut with speed.” Both girls vomited after eating the powder.

There was no way to hold him accountable. He sold another sophomore boy two hits of Molly for last month’s Deadmau5 concert. The buyer stumbled around the venue for three hours unable to distinguish between his friends and strangers.” Not exactly the trip he signed up for.

Though bad trips on actual MDMA are rare, Dr. Zach explains that the immediate after effects can be traumatizing for users. “You’ll have several hours of an episode where you feel depressed,” a period that most users call the ‘comedown.’ She continues, “There’s a sense of lack of love, lack of optimism, lack of well–being.”

And the long–term effects aren’t well understood. Dr. Zach claims, “Even with one use you can see a disturbance in memory — mostly verbal and declarative memories.” The rest is unknown.

Sophia cares about the risks. She researches Molly in her spare time and frequently checks Erowid.com, a user– generated drug information hub. She comments on Molly’s healing power, “I recently read it can cure cancer. But the amount it would take could kill you.” According to Erowid.com, it is possible to overdose on MDMA, especially if mixed with MAOIs — a type of prescribed antidepressant.

Sophia realizes her love affair with Molly can’t last forever. She says she ate 0.5 grams — a hefty dose for a five foot four girl who probably weighs 110 pounds soaking wet — at Avicii’s Philadelphia show this summer. “It totally scared me and it wasn’t even the best roll I’ve had.”

Pretty Lights ended their hour–long set with crowd favorite, “Finally Moving.” Fluorescent lights screeched the crowd awake and fans stumbled from the arena into the crowded SEPTA station.

Penn students filed like transfixed cattle back to campus. “What next?” cried a senior boy covered in pink glitter whose eyes bulged like golf balls.

The 30 or so students parted ways at 40th and Walnut — some to continue dancing at a fraternity graffiti party, some to admire laser lights at an off–campus house and some to smoke weed to offset the after–effects.

They know they’ll have to come down eventually, but for now they roll on.

*All names presented in this article have been changed to protect the anonymity of the student.

$$ $ $30

0.2 grams of molly

+

$61.50 1 ticket to Deadmau5

+

$1 lollipop

+

$15 pack of glowsticks

+

$4 2 bottles of water

$111.50

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

The former club drug takes on festivals and frat parties.

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

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MOLLY HITS MAIN STREET

one night on molly 9

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

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GUEST

MUSIC

Interview: Nate RuEss of fun.

Following the break–up of his previous band the Format, Nate Ruess began writing his most heartfelt and personal music for what would become his new band, fun. Now Nate and the band are on the road with Janelle Monae before they get ready to release their second album.

Street spoke to Ruess about the upcoming record, touring, the band coming together and video games. By JAKE SPINOWITZ Street: You said that it was difficult for you to find the inspiration for the upcoming album. Can you talk about the writing process?

Nate Ruess: I think it’s always hard to figure out what your next move is going to be. For this, I remember I had sublet some apartment in Chinatown, under the assumption that one summer I was going to try and write the whole entire album, and I just didn’t know, from a musical standpoint, what I was looking to do.

I think I came out of those three months with just a couple of ideas that ended up making it onto the album, and one song that was really important, but I didn’t have a full on concept, or at least an idea for what would inspire me to make whole albums of mu-

sic. And I think, over time, I stopped being super conscious of that, and kind of just got back to what it is I love about music.

And somewhere along that line I re–fell in love with hip– hop, and I think that it somehow plays a really big role in the way we approached this album.

Street: The song “Take Your Time,” from Aim and Ignite, is really all about The Format break–up. Is there any other sort of deep, emotional context on the new album?

NR: I think so. No matter how much I try and avoid an autobiography from a lyrical standpoint, it’s totally inevitable. I’m not a very outward or outgoing type of person, even dealing with people who are

dearest to me, and it’s a way for them to find out how I’m feeling.

It’s sort of a way I’ve learned to express myself. I was brought up into this, I got into it in such an early age that my emotions ended up coming out not in my everyday life, but within the songs. So this album I’ve tried to build in so many different ways, but sometimes it’s just so hard to not dwell on the things that I’m thinking about every day.

Street: And we understand you guys primarily wrote each of your parts seperately.

How did this process compare to recording the first album?

NR: I think it’s all pretty similar. You know, it’s just generally me writing a melody, or

MIXTAPE Fallin' around coming up with something that is potentially a song, and kind of singing to that and bringing it to them asking how they feel about it.

I don’t feel like that changed too much. If anything this time there were a lot of times where we would be in the studio and I would wake up one day on the way there and be like, 'Okay check it out, this is going to be the song we’re going to work on today.' It might have been their first time hearing it, and it doesn’t always give us a lot of time to go on, but just lets us get in the moment and work on it from there. On the last album we spent so much time making demos and there was a lot of overanalyzing.

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

Preview: Deer Tick & fun.

Live at Harrison Auditorium

10

SPEC Concerts brings hyped indie acts to campus for annual fall concert.

By SAM BRODEY AND JAKE SPINOWITZ

If you're looking for something to do tomorrow night, SPEC will be hosting their annual fall concert in Harrison Auditorium, featuring the bands Deer Tick and fun. Street has the basic info you need to know so you're ready to sing along.

fun.

Hometown: New York, NY Sounds Like: Queen–esque power pop Key Tracks: “We Are Young”, “All The Pretty Girls” Upcoming Releases: Untitled LP (early 2012) Why You Should Go: Known for their electrifying high–energy sets, fun. is guaranteed to deliver a rousing performance that will have the crowd pumped throughout the night

Deer Tick

Hometown: Providence, RI Sounds Like: A folky Delta–Blues revival Key Tracks: “Miss K”, “Twenty Miles”, Upcoming Releases: Divine Providence (October 24) Why You Should Go: To check out one of the most buzzed–about acts in the folk pop genre

Friday, October 14 Tickets are $10 for Penn students and $15 for the general public. They can be purchased on Locust Walk from 11 a.m. – 3 p.m.

They are also be available online at specevents.net.

Where: Harrison Auditorium ( 3260 South St.) | When: Doors at 7 p.m. and show at 8 p.m.

Midterm season is here, and with the recent temperature drop, it’s easy to see autumn has come too.

But don’t fret — Street’s got you covered. As you bemoan summer’s end and say hello to warm–mittens–and– boots weather, you can still jam out on your long, cold walks to class with our fall mixtape. Whether you’re pickin’ apples, jumpin’ into piles of leaves or holed up in VP, we’ve got the soundtrack to your (autumnal) life.

• We’re Gonna Be Friends — White Stripes • I Don’t Want Love — The Antlers • Indian Summer — Beat Happening • The Biggest Lie (Elliot Smith cover) — Dolorean • Two Doves — The Dirty Projectors • Autumn Sweater — Yo La Tengo • Your Ex–Lover is Dead — Stars • Nantes — Beirut • Video Games — Lana Del Rey • Boy With a Coin — Iron & Wine • World at Large — Modest Mouse • Ring Out — Justin Vernon • Measuring Cups — Andrew Bird • This Year — The Mountain Goats • Whatever You Like (T.I. lyrics) — Anya Marina.

— Frida Garza

ST

FILM

BRING BACK THE BACON The latest Hollywood remake misses the beat.

I

t is rare for remakes to live up to the glory of the original, so Footloose by its nature invites a certain skepticism. However, this musical dramedy doesn’t come close to distinguising itself and fails to meet already–low expectations.

The town of Bomont is shaken up after several high school seniors die in a car crash on the way home from a dance party. The community responds with the most obvious reaction — ban dancing.

Three years later, Boston– raised Ren McCormack (Wormald) moves to Bomont to live with his aunt and uncle and finds himself challenging the no–dancing decree.

Ren’s predictably corruptible love interest comes in the form of the town hoochy, Ariel

By alexandra jaffe

footloose Directed by: Craig Brewer

Starring: Kenny

Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid See if you liked: Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights Rated PG–13, 113 min.

(Hough), who often bears her midriff and also happens to be the daughter of the local reverend (Quaid, looking miraculously un–aged since his Parent Trap days).

It is the classic struggle between overprotective parents and teenagers trying to rebel, but to them, the ultimate rebillion is dancing. On a side note, the film completely glosses over the fact that the car crash was clearly a result of drunk driving, and instead the town chooses to blame the accident on artistic expression. Dubious at best.

A similar storyline may have

worked 27 years ago, but this time it falls flat. The lack of character development means that supposedly poignant and emotional moments fail to affect the audience, except to call attention to over–the–top acting. Zooming in closer and closer to highlight a tear sparkling in the corner of an actor’s eye does not make a scene more powerful. Instead, such moments come off as empty rather than touching and give the film a cheap made–for–TV feel.

There are some funny moments in Footloose, but none are intentional. The forced, cliched jokes are cringe–worthy, and it's only the sheer ridiculousness of certain scenes that provides humor. For example, the colossally overdone and completely unnecessary bejeweled school

bus racing scene. Yes, it’s just as weird as it sounds. Or consider slow motion, angry dancing in an empty warehouse. There are simply no words.

However, the film highlights undeniably good dancing, especially by Hough and Wormald, both professional dancers. The soundtrack isn’t terrible either, and is most successful when featuring classics like “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” and “Footloose” from the original. But the choppy structure, undeveloped characters and silly script result in a film that never comes together.

People seeking the 80s feel–good charm of the 1984 Footloose will find that this remake is neither feel–good nor charming. Netflix the original, but for God’s sake, don't waste two hours on this cheese–fest.

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

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IS THE MUSIC FINALLY OUT? The last 10 years have brought a resurgence of musical theater adaptations… but has the trend come to term? After all, the show can’t go on forever. Just look at Cats. By Hilary Miller

T

sex, drugs, illness, poverty. On the flip side, the yuppy world of musical–consuming high school girls were walking around singing about heroin addictions and prostitution.

These two successes ignited a buzz of musical films that held their own both in the box office and with the critics. Respected actors, such as Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, John Travolta and Christopher Walken, took on light–hearted roles in The Producers (2005) and Hairspray (2007), respectively. Sweeney Todd (2007) and Dreamgirls (2006) secured even more positive reviews and multiple Oscar nominations. Megastars shocked us with their singing ability, and it seemed as though the gift of song and dance just kept on giving.

However, all good things must come to an end. Nine (2009) seemed to cut short the chain of critically acclaimed musicals. The incredible cast was unable to redeem the poorly executed adapta-

tion of a musical not well–known enough to gain an audience.

Whether it is the production, the choice of show or the timing to blame, the failure of Nine has seemingly scared producers away from the genre. Or was it just a hiatus?

Footloose, coming out tomorrow, could be Hollywood’s next attempt at securing a steady musical genre.

However, the cast clearly directed at tweens has received mixed reviews — see ours above. Does another musical disappointment mean the genre should be placed on the back burner for a while? We certainly think so.

Currently, plans for adaptations of Spring Awakening, American Idiot and other shows are in the works. It's not that we’ve given up all hope, but it's go-

i n g to take a lot of redeeming to get us back into the theater. The next in line should tone down the theatricality and engage the adult drama that attached us to some of the darker films.

We just hope the sexually frustrated teenagers of Spring Awakening and the too–punk–for–their–own–good stars of Green Day’s Rock Opera aren’t too much like the rebellious Footloose kids.

Until we decide to give musicals another shot, “Cell Block Tango” will remain stuck in our heads. Pop. Six. Squish. Uh–uh. Cicero. Lipschitz!

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

he early 2000s launched a series of unforgettable films that left catchy songs and choreographed steps stuck in our heads for weeks. The popularity of Chicago (2002) provided the sultry reintroduction of the stage to the screen, raising an interest in musical theater that extended beyond the panting NYU students lining up for rush tickets each Sunday morning.

Once again, a seemingly location– and–monetarily exclusive art became accessible to everyone in a neatly wrapped package, one that included our favorite stars.

Of course, Hollywood execs are not a group to let a successful trend go unexploited. Queue Rent (2005). This adaptation became an instant hit and further showed the world that musical theater isn’t all about the simple dramas of an immature female lead and the dance numbers that ensue. Rent had drama that more people could respect:

11

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ARTS

If Ya Don’t Know, Now Ya Know Vox Populi mixes sexuality with a pop star mentality in a participatory show.

BY MEGAN RUBEN

O

h the perils of visiting the Vox Populi Gallery. Perhaps it was the questionable location on the corner of Carleton Street, a garbage filled alleyway deemed worthy of its own street name. Or maybe it was just that unidentifiable odor (a mixture of paint and urine) stubbornly lingering all the way up three flights of stairs to the gallery entrance.

Whatever the case, something about this building felt much more like a when–will– they–find–my–body scenario than a mixed media installation featuring five avant– garde artists.

But if you’re willing to brave your way to the outskirts of Chinatown, Vox Populi’s current exhibition (running until October 30th) is an experience that’s worth the trip. Artists Piper Brett, Becky Suss, Emily Rooney, Kikuko Tanaka and Nguyen Tan Hoang expose Philadelphians to the experimental art typical of an off–the–beat gallery you might run into in Chelsea, NYC. From Hoang’s series of short films collectively titled Multiple and Unending Videos, to Emily Rooney’s multimedia installation,

October at Vox Populi Vox Populi 319 N 11th St., 3rd Floor Wednesday through Sunday, 12–6 p.m.

Free www.voxpopuligallery.org

All Alone, each display requires a certain commitment from audiences, forcing the viewer to weave between the works and even crawl through a makeshift gate in exchange for an otherwise inaccessible grasp of the artists’ visions.

Curious? You should be. Not curious enough? Let’s talk about vaginas. An entitlement to the unrestrained display of female nudity remains an inexplicable, yet historically warranted, privilege of the fine arts. Brett’s work, The Show, capitalizes on this creative freedom with a large–scale oil painting of an anonymous vagina. A portion of the canvas captures a woman’s legs sprawling across a background of blue bed sheets, leaving the center of the painting

fully dedicated to the detailed imThe Show by Piper Brett age of the aforementioned fanny.

On the opposite wall, a small headshot of a contemplative Biggie Smalls adopts what seems, at first, to be an extremely random role in the installation. But upon closer inspection, one soon realizes that his speculative face hangs directly in line with the vagina on the canvas across from it. The central sculpture, four oversized golden links of a chain, clarifies the Biggie photograph, boldly referencing the stereotypical excessiveness of rap culture as a whole and, thus, its most compelling similarity to fine arts: an objectification of the female body.

Though the venue seems like it could use a good scrub, there’s something exhilarating about trekking up flights of grungy stairs to discover such a quirky breed of Philadelphian art gallery. The exhibit’s five installations represent experimental art at its finest: shocking, witty and kind of confusing.

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

ARTIST PROFILE:

12

Dine-In, Catering & Delivery Happy Hour: Mon-Fri 5-7

“I walk into shoots with two big goals: to take a photo above my client’s expectations for the assignment, and to have the subject say at the end of the hour, without coaxing, that they actually enjoyed being photographed.”

—Evan Robinson

food & fairey Known for Obama’s HOPE graphic ­— the most effective political poster since “Uncle Sam Wants You” ­— Shepard Fairey is a little less famous for marking up a few Philly walls. Pay tribute to the political art–ivist this Mural Arts Month, and pair each of his murals with the best nearby grub.

6th and Reed St.

Rim Cafe for the “Oh–my– God” Cannoli drizzled with honey and sprinkled with pistachios.

1172 S. 9th St.

2001 Frankford Ave.

Philadelphia Brewing Co. for a factory tour and a cold bottle of Pennsylvania Pale Ale. 2439 Amber St.

2621 W. Girard Ave.

The Era Bar for stewed lamb and other inexpensive and spicetastic Ethiopian delicacies.

2743 Poplar St.

9th and Ellsworth St.

Lunch Special: Mon-Fri $8.95 Early Bird: Sun-Thur $10.95

PattayaRestaurant.com • 215.387.8533 4006 Chestnut Street • University City

See Evan Robinson’s ARTIST PROFILE including an extended interview and additional photographs at 34st.com.

Sabrina’s for cream cheese– stuffed, banana–topped challah french toast.

910 Christian St.

Check 34st.com for an Artspiration of the mural on 9th and Ellsworth St.

There are probably quite a few gals at Penn who wish their lives resembled an Anthropologie catalogue, and with a series of creative workshops hosted at the Center City store location, that wish may become a reality. Anthropologie will host three consecutive hour–long workshops in custom book making, stationary printing and jewelry design. Bonus: you’ll meet a lot of women that remind you of your mother — oh, and you get to keep whatever you create.

October 15, 10 a.m.–1 p.m.

Anthropologie 1801 Walnut St.

ARTS TOP 5:

DESIGNPHILADELPHIA

Design Bike Tour Satisfy your not–so–inner hipster with a combination of biking and art. Trophy Bikes University City’s 10–mile bike tour of Philadelphia will hit the landmarks of the city’s design. The tour will also swing by some other swanky DesignPhiladelphia receptions. Talk about an entrance. Don’t forget your helmet.

October 16, 12–3:30 p.m. (Rain Date: October 23) 30th Street Station 2955 Market St. $5 per participant.

Big Chalkers

This week, all of Philadelphia’s a gallery, or a graphic tee. October 13–23 marks the seventh year of DesignPhiladelphia, a festival program aimed at giving art enthusiasts a unique view into the design happenings of the city. With over 450 designers participating in events relating to everything from fashion to architecture, you’re sure to find something to get your creative gears turning. Arts scoured the events for our top five. BY EILLIE ANZILOTTI

Can you pass up the opportunity to draw with four– foot–long sidewalk chalks? We thought not. Community art organization Playphilly is hitting the pavement with the goal of making our city a more lively and colorful place. Next Tuesday evening, they’re inviting residents to come out and leave their artistic stamp on the city. In other words, “coloring outside the lines is highly recommended.”

October 18, 5 p.m.

Cafe Cret, 16th St. and The Parkway

Send dorm room pics to arts@34st.com for a chance to be featured in an upcoming mag.

BetterBlocksPhilly is taking over the streets with temporarily installed exhibitions to educate residents about neighborhood design ideology and encourage a safer environment for Philadelphian pedestrians (in other words, CALM DOWN, PSYCHODELPHIA DRIVERS). The block party will be set up all week, with pop–up shops, food vendors and musical performances abounding. Munch on some local food and, hey, learn how to make the City of Brotherly Love even more brotherly.

October 14, 6–10 p.m.

South of South Neighborhood Association, WRT, Brown & Keener 17th to 18th St., Christian to Catherine St.

GANG PRINT RUN Graphic design plays an invariable role in our daily routines whether we realize it or not. On the opening night of the festival, three Philadelphia–based designers — Dan Gneiding, Elyse Ricci and Mikey Burton — whose designs have been featured in Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, the Times and MTV2, will be featured in a gallery exhibition emphasizing that art doesn’t always come in a frame. The range of quirky and beautiful works will open your eyes to the beauty that constantly surrounds you, from that New York Times you just picked up to the tags on your favorite articles of clothing.

October 13, 6–9 p.m.

Vox Populi 319 N. 11th St., 3rd Floor

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011

GOTTA GNARLY PAD?

BetterBlocksPhilly Opening Celebration

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

Anthropologie Workshops

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highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow 34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011 14

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ST

LOWBROW

FROM THE DESK OF AMY GUTMANN We saw the recent WikiLeaks scandal as an amazing opportunity to finally be taken seriously. If we could somehow unearth and publish all the shocking secrets at Penn, we would no longer be the running joke at SAC cocktail parties.

Garbed in black spandex cat suits “borrowed” from American Apparel, we infiltrated La Casa de Gutmann to see what kind of skeletons we could uncover.

This snapshot of Amy’s desk was taken just seconds before we heard footsteps rounding the corner.

We fled before a man passed the room, clad in an ill–fitting plush robe and fuzzy pink slippers. The elusive Mr. Gutmann?

Disclaimer: My Dear Watson, This

section is a fake.

Regards, Nancy Jew.

ICERS' ADMISSION OFF K HANDBOO tions on the Section VII. Applica Brink of Acceptance lusive In case of an inconc student’s a g in decision regard t the following application, consul procedure: water.

Fill a tub with cold n inditio ica pl Drop each ap b. tu I understand that you were busy inaugurating that e th vidually into s, at flo n tio new field of yours, but would it honestly kill you to call ica i. If the appl your mother? Let me remind you, bubeleh, that before accept. , ks sin n tio you were a bigshot over there at that Penn State, you ica pl ii. If the ap s. were just another Jewish girl from Brooklyn. Daddy and gle ug reject. No M I paid for that nice women’s college you attended. And how did you repay us? You became the wrong type of doctor and married a gentile.

Oy, but I can’t complain. Anyway, dear, I just wanted to know if you ever did get in touch with Morty’s sister’s daughter–in–law’s catwalker. Her name is Sarah and she’s from New York, too! By the way, I looked through the latest Penn Gazette issue you sent us, and I know you don’t like it when I say this, but I really think maybe you should take it easy with the convocation snacks next time.

P.S. I know it’s only October, but start thinking about what you want for Hannukah. If you don’t tell us soon, Daddy will just buy you another red suit.

ittee lum Comm ies u ic rr u C : ATTN Strateg Fundraising venue SUBJECT: er tuition re h ig h ld ie y to udents In an effort r eligible st stees fo n io at u ru grad Board of T and delay ossible, the m be p lu as u ic g rr n lo f the cu for as o n ig es d e at th correlate proposes th courses not f o es am n e lfill. ents they fu ll the such that th em ir u q re al lfi er with the gen ATH course should fu uireq M re e n s o ic at ly On athem M & s ce ENGL en Natural Sci ly select FNAR or n o ters secment, and e Arts & Let arents th ll lfi fu ld p ou udents and 0courses sh to prevent st sure that AFRC er rd o In tor. e en g on, pleas from catchin ut anything. o fulfills just ab

To: Dennis DeTurck <d_dawg@sas.upenn.edu> From: Scott Reibroski <bmoc_fo_lyfe@ofsa.upenn.edu> Subject: URGENT! not meatspot.com… for real this time

Dennis DeTurck, We at OFSA are concerned about the repercussions of CollegeACB being shut down this summer. The absence of a robust tier system threatens the integrity of our Greek institution and without it, how will freshmen know which friends are worth buying?

Who will keep Gia and Sweetgreen in business? Will I be unemployed? I propose that students be allowed to fulfill the Quantitative Data Analysis requirement by creating a tier system for fraternities and sororities and updating it regularly (but obvs, Theos will always be Tier I). With the cooperation of the College Office, we believe that we can prevent any long–term damage… you remember what happened when JuicyCampus was shut down. Oy. Fraternally yours, Scott Reibroski Office of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs

Dear Bandwidth Hogs, All you weepy–eyed girls streaming Dirty Dancing for the 12th time this week; all you hopelessly virgin boys trying to get lucky on Chat Roulette. Enough’s enough.

While you may have opted to throw your GPAs to the wind, some of us are still trying to give this whole thing the good ol’ college try. Estimated download time for sample midterms: 43 minutes thanks to your exorbitant bandwidth use on our shared WiFi. I don’t care if Baby’s about to get cornered or if that (likely underage) girl is about to show you the swollen mosquito bites she calls tits. It’s 2:09 a.m.

You can have the time of your life in the morning.

Still buffering, AirPennNet_Guest P.S. Is the bleak promise of boobs really worth sifting through sweaty close–ups of registered sex offending cocks?

TOP TEN:

10. The Bookstore is sold out of leather portfolio polish.

5.

On–campus dry cleaning shops are actually turning a profit.

9. You calculated the opportunity cost of going to the bathroom.

4. Even creative writing majors are considering adding ECON–001 to their schedules.

8. You updated your resume for the first time since “Cookie Sales Associate for Girl Scouts of America, 1999.”

3. Girls are wearing heels on Locust Walk before noon — and they’re not on a walk of shame.

7. It’s harder to get an appointment at Career Services than it is to make a reservation at White Dog on Parents’ Weekend.

2.

You seriously considered adding “House Beer Pong Champion” to your resume to make it look more full.

6. Saying that you and your bro need the privacy of your room to “practice interview questions” isn’t a cover for gay sex… this time.

1. When your friend says he’s going to meet with Goldman, he’s not talking about his ex–hookup in SDT.

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RANT!

of the week

At Penn, when the air is crisp, the leaves change colors and Ann Taylor has a sale, that’s not autumn — that’s recruitment season. Lowbrow presents the Top Ten ways to decipher between fall and OCR.

34TH STREET Magazine October 13, 2011 15

Falling Seasons

Fall break marks an inflection point: seasons end (like that of a certain baseball team) and begin as late fall arrives.

Whether you’re looking to see the start of a new phase nearby, catch a last glimpse of something in the city or just need to fill that Phillies–shaped hole in your heart, Street’s got you covered.

Harder to do

Season Beginning Season Ending

Easier to do Philadelphia Union Soccer Team

Fall Seasonal Beers

Best Experienced at: PPL Park, 1 Stadium Dr., Chester We’re assuming you’re standing or all 90 minutes in their impending playoff run, correct?

Best Experienced at: Frankford Hall, 1210 Frankford Ave. Because it’s really just cheating to have Oktoberfest beers in November. (See Food for a full review.)

Philadelphia Orchestra Best Experienced at: Kimmel Center, 260 South Broad St. Their season opens tonight; the difficulty honestly depends on your feelings towards Elgar.

Size of the dot relates to how much the event will help you get over your Phillies mourning.

Outdoor Running Season

Philadelphia Eagles

Best Experienced at: Schuylkill Banks Trail If you’re that kind of crazy, we suppose you can run through the end of fall. But we’re going into Pottruck.

Best Experienced at: Philadium, 1631 Packer Ave. Will help you get over the Phillies, and it looks like the Eagles aren’t even bothering to get your hopes up this year.

Philly’s Fall Foliage

DesignPhiladelphia

Fall Outside the City

Best Experienced at: Rittenhouse Square, 19th and Walnut St. The vibrant leaves may last outside into November, but you probably won’t want to.

Best Experienced at: Marketplace Design Center, 2400 Market St. See Arts inside, but there are 150+ events across the city starting this evening, with prices to fit or burst any college student budget.

Best Experienced at: Longwood Gardens, 1001 Longwood Road, Kennett Square Fauna that’s built for the long fall haul — their Chrysanthemum Festival lasts nearly til Thanksgiving.