11.17.2016

November 17 - 23, 2016 34st.com

THE

2 o1 6 YEar book

ISSUE

SENIOR SUPERLATIVES

november 17 2016

LOL

3 HIGHBROW

what your starbucks order says about you, overheards, roundup

5 WORD ON THE STREET losing Sarah

6 EGO

eotw: Blue Bookhard, student baristas

LOL

LOL

LOL

8 TECH

tech and the election, water apps, geek of the week

10 F&TV

Gilmore Girls preview, best Thanksgiving themed tv episodes

14 FEATURE superlatives

17 VICE & VIRTUE

fall activities, schmear it, study drugs, penn face

LOL

21 ARTS

dorm designs, theatre arts program

26 LOWBROW LOL

frat hires A Capella group for downtown, how to SABs

GOODBYEFROMTHEEDITOR

Three and a half years ago, I walked— alone—up the stairs of some sketchy building on the corner of 40th and Walnut streets and into a room of people that would change my life.

I joined Street freshmen year on a whim, but as soon as the Editor–in– Chief stood up at the front of the room and made me introduce myself with a song to describe my sex life, I was hooked. Never in my life had I been confronted with a group of people who I found so intimidating but whom I wanted to emulate so badly. All I wanted was to be a part of their hysterical, bizarre production. And the best part was, for what felt like the first time in my life, they wanted me to be a part of it too.

Over these past three and a half years, Street has given me more than I could have ever imagined on that first Thursday in September. It has given me given me a place on this campus that feels more like home than anywhere else, it has given me some of my closest friends. It has taught me what it is like to fail, what it is like to lose something so important to you that you can’t breathe from crying. It has taught me how to forgive (thank you, Alex), it has taught me how to lead. It has taught me how to

stand up for myself, and it has taught me how to stand up for others.

It is, hands down, the best thing that has happened to me at Penn. It might be the best thing that has happened to me in my life.

I love this publication with my entire heart and I cannot believe that I already have to leave it. I don’t know who I am without it. What will I say when I introduce myself, now that I can no longer claim a title that instantly invokes some degree of simultaneous fear and respect?

What will I say when people ask me what I do for fun, now that I no longer have the excuse of an all–consuming but astoundingly fun job?

To every single person that has been a part of my experience with Street, thank you. Especially to Alex, Mikaela and Giulia, for seeing me at my worst but lifting me up to my best. You have made me who I am today, and I would not have it any other way.

I have absolutely no fucking clue what I am going to do without Street, but I guess I have no choice but to find out.

"GOODBYE" IS HARD TO SAY, BUT NOT AS HARD TO SAY AS "HIPPOPOTOIMONSTROSEQUIOEDDALIOPHOBIA," WHICH IS, IRONICALLY, THE FEAR OF LONG WORDS. NOW THAT I HAVE SHARED THIS KNOWLEDGE WITH YOU ALL, I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO GIVE. IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART THAT I HANG UP MY MANAGING EDITOR GLOVES. THANKS FOR THE MEMS. IT HAS BEEN, AS THEY SAY, LIT, FAM.

34TH STREET MAGAZINE Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief Mikaela Gilbert–Lurie, Managing Editor Giulia Imholte, Audience Engagement Director Jeffrey Yang, Design Director Remi Lederman, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director Genevieve Glatsky, Features Editor Orly Greenberg, Features Editor Mark Paraskevas, Supplemental Features Editor Dani Blum, Word on the Street Editor Julie Levitan, Word on the Street Editor Genny Hagedorn, Campus Editor Stephanie Barron, Culture Editor Emily Schwartz, Entertainment Editor Jack Cody, Humor Editor Sydney Hard, Music Editor Alix Steerman, Highbrow Beat Jackie Lawyer, Highbrow Beat 2

Mike Coyne, Ego Beat Liz Heit, Ego Beat Zoe Albano–Oritt, Music Beat Jamie Gobreski, Music Beat Olivia Fitzpatrick, Music Beat Colin Lodewick, Arts Beat Claris Park, Arts Beat Nick Joyner, Film & TV Beat Dayzia Terry, Film & TV Beat Caroline Harris, Tech Beat Aaron Kim, Tech Beat Haley Weiss, Vice & Virtue Beat Andreas Pavlou, Vice & Virtue Beat Katie Marshall, Lowbrow Beat Andrea Begleiter, Lowbrow Beat Nadia Kim, Design Editor Sofie Praestgaard, Design Editor Zack Greenstein, Design Editor Carissa Zou, Design Editor

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Gloria Yuen, Illustrator Anne Marie Grudem, Illustrator Alex Fisher, Photo Editor Julie Chu Cheong, Photo Editor Brinda Ramesh, Photo Editor Young Lee, Video Editor Sara Thalheimer, Copy Director Annabelle Williams, Copy Editor Morgan Potts, Copy Editor Kyler McVay, Copy Editor Perren Carillo, Copy Editor Sofia Price, Social Media Editor Sanika Puranik, Social Media Editor Staff Writers: Hallie Brookman, Hannah Noyes, Johanna Matt, Nick Castoria & Amanda Rota

Staff Photographers: Gian Paul Graziosi Contributors: Scott Rubenstein, Sarah Tidwell, Amanda Rota, Amanda Hulse, Annika Iyer, Emily Cieslak, Morgan Savige Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Alex Fisher, Brinda Ramesh and Julie Chu Cheong.

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Emily Johns, Editor–in–Chief, at johns@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 422-4640. www.34st.com "Beaks are for birds." ©2015 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015

STARBUCKS ORDERS

DECODED

HIGHBROW

over heard PENN at

Where sugar content and the amount of times you say "like" is positively correlated.

GrandMILF with no boundaries: How many of you know where your foreskins went?

Grande S’mores Frappuccino Give this man a candy bar. It’s what he really wants. He’s just disguising his sweet tooth in coffee form so that he doesn’t have to endure the perceived judgment of onlookers as he chows down on a Snickers and two Kit Kats whilst pouring himself over his orgo notes.

He tried to be satisfied with a hot chocolate, but felt weird about the absolute absence of coffee, so this way he can pretend the energy of his sugar rush is partly from the minute traces of caffeine. Only the barista knows his pain.

Party Pooper: Shitting is my favorite thing. It's, like, my number one hobby.

Deep(throat) Professor: What about the dick did you not like?

Venti Americano, Double Cup, No Sleeve

This drink is for the girl who’s on the go but doesn’t do well with a strong caffeine rush. She would’ve opted for a regular green tea, but the pink punch of passion fruit went better with her look. The added sugar from the lemonade really helps to put that pep in her step. After one sip, she’s ready to conquer the world Elle Woods style.

Do not approach this person before they receive their drink unless you want to have a fast–paced conversation about how they’re “just so overworked and only got three hours of sleep last night but still have so much work to do.” Post–order they’ll be so busy adding Splenda, skim milk and ice cubes to their drink to make it a chug-able consistency that the most you’ll get out of the interaction will be a rushed “Hey! How are you? Lunch soon?” Engage with at your own risk.

Tall Pumpkin Spice Latte

Grande English Breakfast

Venti Passion Tea Lemonade

This seasonal betch is most likely wearing riding boots, a Barbour jacket and an infinity scarf. She pretends to have the same caffeinated punch as the shot of espresso she’s made with but everyone knows her intimidation factor is equivalent to that of a piece of pie with a lack of structural integrity. Ordering a PSL may make you basic, but it’ll also just make you happy.

THEROUNDUP It’s been a long week. We elected a tangerine for President, the bees are still dying at an alarming rate and apparently the real story of Thanksgiving is actually kind of sad because the Pilgrims and Native Americans never actually had a turkey dinner together, what the fuck. Don’t worry, though. We’ve got a piping hot serving of gossip to tide you over until your own needless turkey murder day Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, the election results did not go over easy with a couple of seniors. A pair of SDT and OAX girls, egged on by their anger at the election results, decided to make a political

What the person behind this drink order really needs is an espresso shot, but her taste aversion to coffee is so strong she convinces herself that she can just have four of these and it’s the same thing. She’s that absurdly positive person who comes up with “bright sides” to pitch black situations but still tries to refer to herself as a cynic. She’s classy, calm and definitely not collected––but is skilled enough at lying to herself that she can pretend she’s got it all figured out.

statement by pelting an unsuspecting house on Beige Block with eggs before scrambling back home. We just hope the residents of the house weren’t too shell–shocked to take a yolk. On the sunny side (up), it rained the next day, so the results of the egg–regious vandalism were washed away.

Two nights later, things got a little thorny for one Phi sophomore at their annual Roses event.

After getting hammered with his bros(es), he went up stairs to water the plants (read: pee in a storage box in his bedroom). Unfortunately for our pee–tagonist, he was a little too blackout to remember his piss–take. It took him two days to realize why his room smelled so bad. A rose by any other name might smell as sweet, but a

One less lonely girl: Last night I called Amazon customer service because I was lonely.

Cersei Lannister: I was on Jswipe for a while, but then I found my brother so I had to delete it.

Girl who probably has multiple 'Summer Homes': I just feel like I can't wear them at this school because I'm afraid of offending poor girls.

room that you peed in? Not so much. Roses really smell like poo–oo–oo...or, pee, we guess.

At a ZBT event on Tuesday night, one freshman boy got burnt by Toasty Tuesday. After eating too much of an edible, weed reckon things got a little out of hand. Things went from high to low really fast, and the boy ended up MERTing himself. We’ll be blunt: if you can’t handle the weed, get out of the frat kitchen.

The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.

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3

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WORD ON THE STREET

word on the STREET At least once a day, I see something that prompts me to reach for my phone to text or snap Sarah. Sometimes I put it right back down.

Sometimes, I type out a text or take the picture, and then I remember. She’ll never see it. And there’s no one else I want to tell, so my phone slides back into my pocket. Because in every friendship, there are some secrets and jokes that are just between the two of you. They died with her.

It didn’t really hit me until about three weeks after it happened. It hits me every day, in small ways, but that was the moment I knew without a doubt she was gone. I was working on a lab report in Huntsman, and “Live Like We’re Dying” started playing from the random Spotify playlist I was listening to. “If your life passed before you, what would you wish you would’ve done?” I cried silently in the middle of the forum, keeping my head down so no one would see.

I wish I had called her. I wish that when she stopped responding to my texts, I had realized something was wrong. I wish she had called me. I wish I had decided to leave for college a day later.

On the car ride back from meeting the movers at my apartment, I thought, “I should call Sam and Sarah to see if they can swing by for ice cream, so we can see each other one last time before we all go back to school.” But there were still things that I needed to pack, and I was tired. They would understand. I could invite them down one weekend so they could finally see Penn and meet everyone, and get to see what the “downtowns” I spoke of were.

But she never made it to the long–promised downtown. That night, she left us forever. She made the choice to end her pain. A week later, while the rest of the school threw on their crop tops and hit the pool party, I dressed in all black and spoke at a memorial service for a 19–year– old, one of my best friends. If you Google “how to write a eulogy,” the Internet has plenty of suggestions. “Discuss their major accomplishments.”

“Tell a funny anecdote from their youth.” But what do you say when her accomplishments were just beginning, when her youth was her whole life? A life that was so wonderful, that lit up the lives of everyone who met her, a life that was so at odds with the way it ended. How can you do her justice in a page or two? How could I explain

GONE GIRL MORGAN POTTS

that the person she was in her last moments wasn’t the person that I knew, that she was the sunniest and one of the least judgmental and most compassionate people I have ever known?

I’m sorry I couldn’t save her. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough. Eventually, I might forgive myself. But it’s not something I’ll ever “get over.” Because when she died, a part of me died with her.

There are parts of me that only existed with her, parts that only came together in a certain way when she was around.

Those parts of me still exist, but they don’t get to come out in the same way they used to. My dreams for the future had her in them. I used to think of all the fun we would have kicking ass as female engineers, taking our families on vacation together, taking our daughters shopping. Not only do I mourn the loss of the person I knew, but also the person she was becoming that I’ll never get a chance to know. The amazing things she would’ve done as a programmer, a man’s field in which she frequently outshone the boys. The big white and pink wedding that she’ll never have, the husband who would’ve adored her. My heart aches with the realization that it’ll be just me and Sadie at American Girl Place, a table for two blondes that should’ve been for four.

Sarah isn’t here anymore. She’s not coming back. As much as I wish I could, there is nothing I can do to change that. All I can do is remember her fondly, the way she would want to be remembered: beautiful inside and out, in a rare way that most people aren’t. A lover of the color pink, Lilly Pulitzer, monograms and Gossip Girl.

An all–around amazing friend and person.

Losing Sarah has changed me. I wish I could say I’ve become a better person, but I don’t think that’s really true. I definitely am more conscious of when people are feeling down and try to reach out to them. But in other ways, I’m a more selfish person. Many times, people’s problems seem trivial, because I can’t help but compare them to what I’m going through. It’s hard for me to be sympathetic in the way I want to be. I try to

I'm sorry I couldn't save her.

Illustration by Anne Marie Grudem make up for it whenever I can: hold the elevator, open a door, pick up my roommate’s favorite ice cream, share notes. I apologize endlessly when I realize that I’ve offended or hurt someone. I try to show people that I care. But I suspect that right now, I’m asking for more of others than I’m able to give them.

I’ve accepted that she’s gone, but I still have a way to go before I can get back to whatever “normal” is like for me now. The harder part to swallow is the unknown—accepting that there are questions I will never know the answers to.

I’ve always believed that things happen for a reason, but I’ll never understand why it had to end this way. I can’t see what was accomplished by her passing that couldn’t have been done another way. I can’t see the good that’s come from such a wonderful person being taken from the world.

Why, God? Why, Sarah? Why? But all I hear is silence.

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5

THE

QUAKERS

BEHIND THE COFFEE

Just a heads up, you can get medical insurance working part time at Starbucks.

EGO

Potentially the glue that holds this campus together and certainly the noblest among us, student baristas are the gatekeepers to the the nectar of the gods: caffeine. These stewards of liquid happiness balance a job, homework, social lives… and your annoying orders; they’re just trying to have it all! Hear from a few of these angels below and, like, don’t be a jerk to service workers because you don’t think they’re Penn students, we clear on that? If for nothing else, remember how much your 9 a.m. would suck without them.

ANALISE BUMP C '18 Starbucks on 34th and Walnut streets Hardest part of the job?

The hardest part, probably just dealing with people.

You’re the only thing standing in between these people and getting their morning coffee and it’s awful, people are ruthless… I’ve been called stupid to my face.

Annoying things Penn students do?

I mean, I think the only thing is that when people go in they don’t realize I’m a Penn student so they kind of treat me like a piece of crap…

They don’t realize I’m a Penn student like you, I have so many other things I have to be doing rather than sitting here making your latte.

SIMONA SHAO W '19 Typical order?

Everybody orders caramel macchiatos, everybody, they’re so annoying, I hate making them. And now that it’s holiday [season], everybody and their stupid peppermint mochas. I can’t.

Weirdest part of the job?

It’s really awkward when, say I’m at the register and, so at Starbucks it’s always like, 'What’s your name, and then [we] put your name on the cup,' but when somebody walks in that I clearly know and I can’t ask them for their name even though I don’t remember their name, I always leave their cup blank and it’s really uncomfortable.

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Wilcaf Hardest part of the job?

Working slow shifts in between classes.

Annoying thing Penn students do?

When customers order while simultaneously texting, on the phone or FaceTiming—my favorite.

Typical student's order?

Skinny vanilla latte (skim milk and sugar–free vanilla). #Basic.

Weirdest part of the job?

When you see your returning customers at parties.

What do people not know?

When you order a half & half

latte, mocha, etc., that means that 75% of your drink is steamed half & half, and that is not okay.

Worst thing that's ever happened?

The day we ran out of coffee.

WHY CAN YOU CALL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER "PUMPKIN" BUT NOT "ZUCHINNI SQUASH"?

WHY CAN YOU CALL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER "BABY" BUT NOT "INFANT"?

DOUBLE STANDARDS AF.

6

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EGO

EGOOF THE WEEK: BLUE BOOKHARD

He's an entire media conglomerate despite being only one guy, and he has a lot to say about his experience working with Penn media nd being the only male in an all–female comedy troupe.

Street: Your parents are both journalists. Has that influenced you wanting to be more involved with media?

Blue Bookhard: The short answer is yes. Since I was very young, I was exposed to all of the components of film and visual shoot. I would go with my Mom to cover the news at three in the morning when she was driving up to Brooklyn to cover some parade that was happening, or if there was a fire that she was covering as a videographer. And so from that, I learned my way around the camera.

Street: Can you tell us about DJing for The Collctve?

BB: I’ve been playing the drums since I was five. So all of my passion for media and culture and videos comes from music, really. The reason why I even joined The Collctve was because I was DJing all of high school, and I got a bunch of gigs and made a lot of money. And then

when I came to college, I joined a fraternity and I was like the resident DJ there. And then my fellow fraternity brother was like, 'Hey man, this is really cool. Let’s make a club for DJs.' And I was like 'Alright, sure.'

Street: A lot of people give DJs shit. How do you feel about that?

BB: A lot of people give drummers shit, too. So I get both, unfortunately. DJs are known for having really anal song selections and only liking underground indie music. I’m actually the DJ who’s like, if a person is coming to you requesting a song, it means one of two things. It either means that you’re doing your job wrong so that they actually have to request a song. Or it means that the people like your music so much that they’re thinking of songs that could be played that would make the night even better.

Street: What’s your favorite throwback to play?

BB: I have two,

"Baby" by Justin Bieber, which is classic. Then "Gold Digger"

by Kanye always shuts the place down.

Street: How did you come to be involved as a drummer in Bloomers?

BB: Arguably Bloomers is the reason why I’m known on campus at all, that’s the reason I’m in Friars, that’s the reason why I’m in Osiris, that’s how people know me—the drummer from Bloomers. I’m actually a sophomore transfer, so I came into Penn my sophomore year and auditioned for Mask & Wig wanting to do more music stuff when I transferred schools, and Mask & Wig already had a drummer at the time. Bloomers reached out to Wig because they were looking for a drummer. I auditioned for Bloomers. I got an email from Nina, the Bloomers Chair, on Thursday, I auditioned on a Friday, I was in the group on Saturday, we had a rehearsal on Sunday. Everything happened

Name: Blue Bookhard Hometown: Los Angeles, CA Major: Communication Activities: Bloomers, UTV, The Collctve, Phi Psi, Friars, Osirirs, Omega, Kinoki

over the course of four days and now it’s been INTERVIEW CONDUCTED BY one of the coolest MIKE COYNE AND LIZ HEIT extracurriculars that I didn’t even know Street: Who’s your favorite I could be a part of, but I’m the female comedian if you had to only male in Bloomers, so it’s a think of one? fun time. I always say that I’m the BB: Vanessa Bayer. She’s my only guy in a sorority. go–to. She was our inaugural speaker at LaughtHERfest and Street: Have you gained a differ- she has also brought up Bloomers ent perspective being the only in interviews before. She’s super guy in an all–female space? funny and pushing the envelope BB: Yeah. Comedy is an industry in terms of what people can that is predominantly male and consider funny on SNL. She’s too there’s so many qualms and so much in the best way possible. many questions and so many conversations about trying to Street: There are two types of involve women in comedy, and people at Penn…

Bloomers tries to push that all the BB: Those who know the Coltime. 'We need more females in lctve and those who don't. comedy.' They have LaughtHERfest which is their festival Street: If you are what you eat, that brings female comedians to then what are you? campus and they have a fantastic BB: I’m the Frontera Chicken following of people that are trying Chilaquiles because I eat those to push female comedians, and things all the time. Or I am I just kind of get to sit there and the Houston mixed bowl with observe it all. avocado.

CAll FOR A GOOD TIME Voted Penn’s

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N O V E M B E R 17 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

7

TECH

APPS FOR HYDRATION

You need these more than you think EMILY CIESLAK

We could tell you that you need to drink water, but you already know that by now. The real struggle is remembering to do it. When you hunker down in Van Pelt, hours can go by without you getting up to get a drink. And if you forget your bottle in your room and don’t want to fork over $2.99 to purchase the environmental bomb that is bottled water, you're pretty much parched. As the outside air gets colder, the inside air dryer and the compulsion to drink coffee higher, hydration will only be more crucial though reaching for ice cold fluids may not be your first instinct. So what’s one to do? Invest in this technology that tells you when to drink water.

WATERAPP, $1:

WaterApp, $1: While an app that tracks your water intake and reminds you to drink more seems idiotically simple, sometimes just being aware of your habits helps you change them. If you only want to see how you're doing and don’t want to invest in a ton of tech, the WaterApp is good place to start. Rated four stars in the app store, the pro-

ULLA, $24.99

gram allows you to set your desired water break intervals and will notify you on your mobile device when it's time to drink it up. After downing those eight ounces, fill up a glass in the app and at the end of the week, you can check how you did. Could you track alcohol with this too? Yes. Just be prepared to handle the truth.

HEALTHY WATER DRINKING, $1.99

Healthy Water Drinking, $1.99: A little more high tech than the WaterApp, Healthy Water Drinking suggests how much water you should be drinking 8

based off your amount of daily activity. It also lets you to track exactly how many milliliters you drank, rather than just say it was a glass.

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Ulla, $24.99: Let’s be honest. If you don’t remember to drink water you probably won’t remember to track your consumption. The better solution is to be bullied by your water bottle. Enter Ulla, the non–waterproof device that straps around the bottle you already have.

When the movement sensor realizes you haven’t picked up your drink in the last 30 to 40 minutes, it will urgently blink at you with intimidating colors until you chug the whole 24 ounces...or at least pretend to. Sounds like hazing, huh?

On one hand, it’s nice that the makers didn’t build in

a sound alarm, but on the other hand, a light can be easily ignored. Not cheap,

but definitely worth it for those struggling with self– inflicted dehydration.

of mobile devices, including Fitbit and Apple Watch.

When it deems you need to drink more, it will “glow” in

the setting of your choosing. How did humanity ever survive without this sort of technology?

HIDRATE, $55 Hidrate, $55: If you still don’t own a reusable water bottle, tell yourself you have to buy one before you can order your Canada Goose this winter. You will feel just as lavish when you charge your credit card $55 for Hidrate Spark 2.0, a bottle that lights up, syncs with your phone and talks to you in Chris Hemsworth’s voice. Okay, we made up the last part. Still, this innovate bottle automatically tracks how many ounces of agua you consume and can sync this information on a variety

TECH

MICHELLE ADJANGBA Strictly funk, Facebook, and flutes

Engineering student Michelle Adjangba (E '17) believes that being really into the things that she does to an almost annoying extent qualifies her as a geek. If passion is the key, then Michelle is the biggest geek of them all.

In high school she played the piano, flute and guitar, was a varsity golf athlete, studied both Latin and Greek and participated in theater. Coming to Penn, however, she narrowed her geekiness down to dance and coding.

“You have to grow and learn how to code,” she said.

She found her first computer science class in high school almost impossible, yet here she is now: a member of Theta Tau, Penn’s engineering fraternity, and a member of the National Society of Black Engineers. Both Theta Tau and NSBE have allowed her to meet a range of engineering students. “NSBE is a community of people who truly care about each other and what they do,” she said. “They have been an incredible support system.”

Michelle expresses immense gratitude for the support and guidance of loved ones in her life. Especially her father, who has never stopped encouraging her to reach for success.

Her first winter break as a clueless freshman she applied to nearly 20 summer internships with the initial push from her father. “You get two days to sleep then you have to start applying to jobs,” he told her.

As a result, Michelle received an offer to work at Facebook the following summer, with little to no experience coding mobile apps. It wasn’t long before she fell

in love with Silicon Valley, subsequently returning for two more summers with the company. It has since resulted in a full time job offer after college. “Mark Zuckerberg sees me every summer, he definitely recognizes me. He’s so inspiring, because you can tell he believes in everything he says. It’s really hard when you have such a huge company and so many different opinions on how it should be run.”

Michelle worked with the iOS development team to implement and refactor the code to give you a message banner.

This is the banner at the top of a message that gives you the context of who is messaging you. This small feature has had a huge impact and has set the stage for partnerships within the company.

Our geek describes the inherent Penn mindset of always trying to find the next best thing. She garnered much skepticism when people found out she would be returning to Facebook for multiple summers in a row. “I’m the kind of person who knows what she likes, and I like being there. The team is awesome and the experience is incredible. I’m excited.”

Prospects for after college have always vacillated between her two passions for performance art and computer engineering. Luckily, at Penn she has not had to choose one or the other. She knew she wanted to be in Strictly Funk, Penn’s hip–hop and contemporary dance group, from the very first time she saw them at preview days. She joined her Freshmen fall and has never looked back, now serving as the creative director

ANNIKA IYER

of Funk. Her responsibilities include choreographing the opening and closing pieces, monitoring the creative flow of the show, and organizing it around a theme. She describes dance as her alter ego, and the way in which she has established confidence in herself.

Joining Osiris, a performing arts senior society for members of dance, theater, music and speech groups on campus, has given Michelle the opportunity to reconnect with some of the hobbies she left behind in high school.

She can now immerse herself in the artistic culture at Penn all in one place. She even joined Penn Flutes in an effort to pick up her musical passions once again. The St. Elmo’s speakeasy this year was the first time she sang in front of people since coming to Penn as a Freshman. In her four years at Penn Michelle's passion has spoken for itself, proving to us all that we don’t need to put ourselves in a box.

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FILM & TV

STUDENT DOCUMENTARY TACKLES JEWISH MATCHMAKING IN THE DIGITAL AGE Need me a shadchan like that.

Tyler Burke is a senior in the College studying visual communication, and he’s on a mission to tell us the story of Jewish matchmakers. As part of an independent study class at Annenberg, he’s filming a short– length documentary about a modern day shadchan, a marriage intermediary that traces its history back to the Middle Ages.

“As a profession, it sort of emerged after the Crusades when a lot of Jewish communities became spread out,” he explains. At this start of the Jewish diaspora, matchmakers were necessary in encouraging union and procreation in various communities, traveling across villages to set up ideal partners.

Matchmaking has religious roots in some readings of the Talmud and Torah and the concept of besheret, the idea that every Jewish person has a singular match in the world either predestined or planned by God. “There’s a strong belief in

the Jewish culture that everyone has somebody out there for them,” Burke continues.

And today in many Orthodox communities, marriage is seen as an important act of community building that also helps to separate the engaged from their parental families.

And matchmakers might be just as indispensable today as they were in pre–Renaissance times. Tyler mentions the “Shidduchim Crisis” in the Orthodox faith, in which a younger marriage age for Jewish women and high birth rate has created a generation where there are more suitable females of marrying age than males.

To tackle the topic of matchmaking across cultures, Tyler started out with a quest to speak to a secular matchmaker, an Indian matchmaker and then a Jewish matchmaker, but access became an issue and he decided to stay with the shadchan. In the documentary, he works with

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two different matchmakers of diverging styles, assisted by Amanda Prager who is working on the project as producer and director of photography.

Lori Salkin works for an online dating service called Saw You at Sinai, where she talks to users over the phone to better understand their personalities before going into her database of profiles and recommending matches for them. She is necessary, as her primarily Orthodox but sometimes Reform clientele can only access potential dates at her suggestion. Tyler describes her hectic work life as something of a personal assistant on Adderall. “She works 12 hours a day on the phone. She works from home. She has a computer set– up where she has like six Face-

book chats open at one time, her iMessage is going all the time, GroupMes, WhatsApp.” And it seems to be working, as she’s made matches in Israel and all over the United States. She uses her binder of details from her initial conversations with clients to glean information about family background, religious leaning and personal values, which she considers to be most important for her pairings.

“And then there’s Danielle, who works for a non–profit and does matchmaking as a volunteer on the side,” Tyler continues. She works in a less formal fashion. People reach out to her personally, and she matches them with other people that have contacted her. She also coordinates events for this non– profit, called Tribe 12, which seeks to create communities for Jews in their 20s and 30s. In fact, Danielle arranged a speed– dating singles event happening in two weeks, which Tyler was not permitted to film due to its intimate nature.

While he was at first interested in how these Jewish matchmakers interact with 21st– century dating and platforms like JSwipe, he found that the two tools were not at odds. “It’s

definitely not a combative thing.

In fact, Danielle will even help people work on their online dating profiles because she knows that’s a way for people to access other members outside of her own network.” Both matchmakers use dating apps to some end to help their clients, but Tyler observed that a lot of Jewish people sought matchmakers in the first place out of frustration with dating apps.

While Tyler is required to turn in an official academic cut of his short documentary at the end of the semester, he plans to continue the project into the spring and toy with some different versions. In fact, he plans to follow at least one of the clients of these shadchan to see how they fare throughout the process, an advantage of extending his own personal deadline for the movie. And while he plans to have it function like his Communication thesis, he also hopes to submit it to student festivals after he’s finished a final cut. And hey, maybe this to–be–named documentary will be coming to an independent theater near you.

NICK JOYNER

FILM & TV

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Street's favorite episodes for your tryptophan coma.

Thanksgiving is undoubtedly one of the greatest holidays, but it can also be pretty exhausting. From the inordinate amounts of tryptophan and carbs you consume to the prospect of dealing with a bunch of overzealous relatives, Thanksgiving always winds up leaving you pretty drained. But, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, what better way to relax than to watch a funny episode of TV after you eat dinner? Here are some of the best from recent years.

Modern Family: “Punkin Chunkin” This Thanksgiving episode is a reminder of just how subversive and well written this show was at the turn of the decade.

Though its relevance has petered out over the past few years, Modern Family was a groundbreaking show—it boasted clever scripts, rapid–fire jokes and progressive content (like helping to normalize gay couples in the mainstream media). In this episode, Mitch doubts the legitimacy of one of Cam’s outlandish high school stories, Jay doubts Manny’s creative talents and Claire doubts her husband’s ingenuity. All of this culminates in a huge argument right before Thanksgiving dinner.

Bob’s Burgers: “An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal” Bob’s Burgers is always a great show to visit for a quick dose of goofy absurdity. It replaces the raunchy nature of most adult cartoons with genuinely clever humor, and the colorful world of the Belchers is just so much fun to observe. This episode is stuffed (pun intended) with so many witty moments and visual gags that it warrants multiple viewings, and the humor is just wholesome enough to accommodate your little siblings, your grandmother and everyone in between.

Friends: “The One Where Underdog Gets Away” and “The One Where Ross Got High” In its ten seasons, Friends made nine Thanksgiving episodes, and many of them rank among people’s favorite episodes of the whole series. The two best both revolve around the dinner itself.

In "The One Where Underdog Gets Away," the whole gang’s various plans fall through, and they wind up with each other on Thanksgiving. Monica burns the meal, and everyone fights, but it ends on a loving note. Watch this with the whole family after dinner, because Friends Thanksgiving episodes are iconic. Your parents will remember these episodes, and the younger half of the family will get introduced to one of television’s best sitcoms.

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What's the most exciting thing about Black Friday this year? If you answered anything but seeing Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, you're wrong.

For Penn students who lined up outside HubBub to get a picture with a cutout of Luke and a blue coffee cup, it will be a day of binge–watching glory.

The miniseries includes four 90–minute episodes, one for each season of the year.

Though spoilers have been few and far between, here’s what we can expect. Rory is back in Stars Hollow, presumably for the holidays. She’s decided that she wants a more nomadic existence so she can travel and explore the world.

The trailer reveals, though, that Rory is actually nervous about her jobless, aimless life.

Meanwhile, Richard has passed away leaving Emily in a state of distress. The trailer shows that she has ordered an excessively large portrait of Richard for the living room and is cleaning out her house. His death will affect all three of the women in the revival, as they work out their relationships to each other without Richard in the picture.

Emily also, of course, does not support Rory’s new Bohemian outlook on life. Lorelai expresses doubts about her relationship

with Luke and about The Dragonfly Inn. The trailer features many returning characters, including Sookie, Lane, Michel, Paris, Dean, Kirk and Taylor Doose.

An addition to the cast is Sutton Foster, who appeared in Amy Sherman–Palladino’s Bunheads. She will appear in the musical element of the miniseries, which will take place in episode three. Foster, known for her work on Broadway, will sing in a Stars Hallow themed musical, according to her interview with Vulture.

In general, fans should expect the same actors a revival of the familiar, fast–paced Sherman– Palladino signature dialogue.

The creator will also probably address Rory’s relationships with Dean and, hopefully, Jess.

Fans trust that Lorelai will work out her relationship with Luke for the better, and that Emily will return her strong–willed tendencies.

Sherman–Palladino’s famous last four words she has envisioned for the end of Gilmore Girls will also be revealed in the revival, since she wasn’t able to reveal them at the end of the seventh season. In addition, rumor has it that Lorelai might be pregnant, based on an Instagram posted from the Gilmore Girls account that shows an apple, Lorelai’s famous pregnancy craving, on a table. Fans should also expect to see some racy scenes between Luke and Lorelai, which Scott Patterson, who plays Luke, confirmed in an interview with Entertainment Weekly.

MORGAN SAVIGE

S U P E R L AT I V E S

SENIOR SUPERLATIVES Most Likely To Write an Inflammatory Facebook Post: Devon Jukes This bodybuilding blonde may have competed alongside the toughest women at this school last week for the title of Mrs. Penn, but Ms. Jukes’ favorite stage is Facebook. Devon’s profile reads like an encyclopedia of knowledge about gender equality, sexual assault prevention, and any related topic you can think of. Oh, and of course, that pesky lil’ election we had last week. Devon’s also one of the V–Day movement’s top champions, and all–around knows how to send the patriarchy running in Alpha Ph–ear like nobody else can.

Person You Wish You Knew: Carlos Dos Santos We didn’t know Carlos Dos Santos before he won this superlative and, owing to his busy schedule, we don’t know him now. But damn do we wish we did. This mysterious man skyrocketed to fame after he replied all to an email sent to students who had not yet completed the Thrive at Penn Program (aka most of the student body) defending their honor. He articulated the question on all of our minds: “Why is this required for Spring Term registration? I believe this is a waste of my time and I refuse to complete the program." He signed off: "Thanks, Carlos Dos Santos.” No, Carlos. Thank you.

Best House: TriChi Thirteen senior girls—representing between them all four schools, athletes and NARPs, four different sororities and GDIs—occupy the three–floor fortress connected to Copa known as “TriChi” or “XXX” (sounds sensual but it’s actually because the house number is 310). But you already knew that if you went to any of their giant OCR–themed parties (“Net–twerking”) on the third floor, or any of the many pregames hosted on the first floor (there were four this past weekend alone). You heard it here first—there’s gonna be a “Best House” party very soon. Not invited? You can catch at least one TriChi housemate at Smokes' on any night of the week (including the Kweder superlative winner).

Eight of the 13 have lived together in the same hall since freshman year, and as all of them are graduating, they’re passing on the house—and the responsibility to perpetually throw down—to a similar group of current sophomores. But before that happens you’ll probably find yourself walking in or stumbling out the door at some point this year.

Sexiest MOFOs: Tate Gale & Sophia Tareen Unlike most of Penn’s flannel–wearing frat stars, Tate Gale is the real deal. Hailing from Portland, Maine, it’s almost impossible not to give this hipster–chic hunk a second look.

Perhaps you’ve seen him behind the desk of Career Services, but if you’re too deep in denial to step foot in McNeil, catch a glimpse of this hottie at any Mask & Wig show—he’s the band leader (that’s right, he calls the shots). Better buy your tickets for the spring show asap, since this senior won’t be around much longer.

Sophia is every mother’s dream daughter–in–law. This HSOC and poli sci double major could take you down in everything from a sing–off (she’s in Dischord) to balancing a chemical reaction. This stunning Chi Omega will analyze your microfinances and promote international development all while hypnotizing you with her effortless elegance. But be sure to find her soon—this gem moves on to bigger and better things next spring when she graduates.

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S U P E R L AT I V E S

S U P E R L AT I V E S

Most Likely to Wear Greek Letters Post– Grad: David Moore

Most Likely to be a Hot Dad: Jack Cook

Rumor has it that David Moore’s first sippy cup was filled with Natty Light. When he isn’t too busy flooding Snapchat with photos of Teddy (Kappa Sigma’s most popular brother and the only canine to grace their t–shirts), he spends his time ruling the Interfraternity Council with an iron fist. Did we mention he’s the president of Kappa Sig too? David hails from the fraternity–laden land of South Carolina, where he was first taught the art of abandoning literally all other responsibilities in favor of Greek life. He’s the proud owner of one of the most colorful wardrobes on campus, and is a seasoned pro when it comes to pairing Kappa Sig’s letters with salmon, teal, turquoise and every other shade in the rainbow.

This MERT man checks off some of the most important dad boxes: college stories to embarrass his future kids with, family with a “bald” streak, loves beer, likes golf, likes to drink beer while playing golf. That’s everything dad, right? Oh, right, the hot thing. When asked, Jack Cook wondered, “I don’t know if it means I look old or if it means people can see I’m going to look good old,” but was honored to accept the position either way. As a pre–med student who’s also involved in MARS and College Cognoscenti, this future hot dad with a biology background surely knows his way around the birds and the bees and (most importantly) the consent.

Most Likely to Fix American Politics: Max Levy

Most Changed Since Freshman Year: The Earth

Let’s be honest, we need more Max Levys in the world right now. Taking a semester off to organize for the Clinton campaign in Philly, this former Penn Dems president/White House Intern knows that fighting for what’s right is worth it, to paraphrase HRC. If even a little bit of the political talent of Cecile Richards, Elizabeth Warren, Bill Clinton or Wendy Davis has rubbed off on him when taking those Facebook pics together, he’s got a pretty bright future ahead. But for now, let’s give Max a collective virtual hug.

Guys, global warming is so real. And it’s not getting the attention it deserves. Right now, we need everyone to take a step back and help out the Earth, just a little. 2016 is bad enough without the ozone layer literally tearing into two. Plus, you know those cute seals that get stuck their cute little seal–noses stuck in plastic soda rings? Yeah, that's on you if you don't care about the environment. What’s wrong with you? Do you want to be responsible for that? Get a Swell bottle, asshole.

Most Likely to Suggest Beer Pong at First Work–Related Cocktail party: Mario Del Cueto Some may say your glory days of frat–hood end when you walk across the stage at graduation—time to retire the muscle tees in favor of generic suits and a soul crushing job in finance. Mario, on the other hand, insists you can have both. This Fiji frat bro boasts a job at Bain AND an impeccable pong record (and I think we all know which one of those really matters to the ladies). While you can find him in Smokes’ rocking jerseys and backwards hats for the rest of senior year, Street suspects that next year you’ll find him turning his office’s communal workspace table into a regional beer pong competition. But I mean really, what better way to bond with all the consulting bros trying to pretend that they’re not as equally depressed as the finance bros… am I right, or am I right?

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Cutest Couple: Meredith Kline and Brent Shulman

Although Reggie would argue that winning over Xufu was the second biggest upset of this election season, he’s clearly just being modest. Anyone that rocks a style aesthetic that can be described as “minimalistic with a little bit of grunge… like grungy professor” is worthy of praise. Reggie recently streamlined his wardrobe, throwing out half his closet and leaving only the best of the best—including his favorite black turtleneck, perfectly scuffed docs and an old school cardigan that looks like it could belong to a trendier version of Harry Potter. So, #protip: If you’re trying to win Best Dressed 2017, maybe don’t hang on to that ratty graphic tee you’ve had since middle school just because it “still fits.”

Most Likely to Want a Superlative: Allison Strumeyer

Peter LaBerge is just your typical English major. Sure, he’s an award–winning poet with dozens and dozens of publication credits, but hey, aren’t we all? He travels across the country to speak at writing conferences and read his own work, but psh, no biggie.

He founded his own literary magazine when he was in high school and still serves as its Editor–in–Chief, but really, it’s not that big of a deal, please, don’t even mention it. Yeah, he was recruited to Penn for his writing, and yeah, he has almost a thousand followers on Twitter, but really, guys, he’s just like us. Did we mention he published a book?

Allison Strumeyer, or “stru” to the lucky few who know her well, and not those who just stalk her on #insta.

Yes, it's @_stru, we know you wanted her handle. Now, if you were given one person to be stuck on a deserted island with, your first choice may not be Allison, the human jumping bean with a fresh blowout. But hear us out. Recognize that her dedication to capturing attention would make it nearly impossible for you to be stuck on that island for one day without being noticed. #Fact.

Plus, her absence would surely be felt on the mainland.

Without her having access to technology, what the hell would we do with those five minutes a day we usually allocate to watching her Snapchat stories? We give you the Most Likely to Want a Superlative Winner: Allison Strumeyer. By the way, would you guys mind liking her latest Instagram? She asked me to ask you.

Cutest Couple That Never Was: Darren Tomasso and Rhea Singh

While they may may look like your standard SDT/ZBT couple, Meredith Kline and Brent Schulman were the stereotype before they even knew about it. Both from Orange County, both the oldest of three, both Jewish. They hadn’t met until the summer before Penn when they worked as camp counselors at the Jewish Community Center. They hit it off like “craaaaazy” as Brent says, but they didn’t start officially dating until October of freshman year. The cutest couple has been together ever since. They live two houses away from each other on Beige Block, and stay up late doing work together (Brent's an engineer, and Meredith is pre–med, swoon). These two are a match made in heaven.

Best Dressed: Reggie James

Best Humblebragger: Peter LaBerge

These Class Board buddies are toned, tan, fit and ready. Between Rhea's Penn Dance moves and Darren's Mr. Penn title and Brazilian Butt Lift classes the two make a striking team. This strictly platonic pair do everything together—from Class Board to Friars to elaborate photoshoot poses. And they're well aware of the rumors—they've been expecting this title since their friendship blossomed freshman year. Although word on the street is that it's actually this duo is actually a trio that includes fellow superlative winner Max Levy. Hurrah, hurrah!

Most Likely to Never Miss Kweder: Maddy Covington Though you can find her at Smokes' most nights of the week, Maddy Covington’s presence there is never more guaranteed than it is on Tuesday nights when Kenn Kweder takes the stage. Despite the workload of her dual degree program in Nursing and Wharton, Maddy’s steadfast dedication to the Philly legend has kept her coming back for his music weekly since her sophomore year. She’ll be sticking around next year to “finish her credits,” but we suspect that decision may have more to do with sticking it to her parents, who refused to hire Kweder for her 21st after her constant professions of love on social media had her mom a little bit “mixed up.” She plans to hang the free album he gave her two weeks ago in her future office instead of her Penn diploma.

Most Likely to EGOT: Elie Sokoloff

Most Likely to EGOT: Chaz Smith

Most Likely to be Featured in the Round Up: Ashley Berg

Elie is the human equivalent of an EGOT (winning an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony): The girl does it all. From Bloomers to Mortarboard to Kinoki, this OAX gal knows her way around entertainment. Hell, she already has her first claim to fame—you can spot her in Jon Stewart’s last episode of The Daily Show. Where she worked. That’s right, Elie’s been in the presence of Jon Stewart himself. What have you done today?

If you haven’t met Chaz already, it’s fine. You’ve probably seen one of his infamous Vines anyway—you know that guy who was really excited about watermelon? Yeah. That was him.

But that’s far from all Chaz does. This EGOT–bound star works in photography, production, videography and boasts over 400 million loops on Vine. Be sure to catch him on YouTube—or at the Tony Awards.

Winning a Tony. Oh, and a Grammy, and an Emmy, and an Oscar…

Ashley has certainly done her best to fulfill the college goal of “work hard, play hard.” This lil’ M&T senior has time and time again managed to find herself in the most unpredictable of situations. Whether it’s on the tennis court—she’s captain of the club tennis team—or at one of her sorority’s eventSDT, this nugget guarantees you a night for the books.

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S U P E R L AT I V E S

Class Clown: Mitch Fogelson Mitch has been no stranger to raking in the laughs since the second grade when he realized his name rhymed with bitch. Although this engineer's robot–building skills are no laughing matter, we can't say the same for his goofy gaffes. When a girl once mistook him for someone else and jumped on his back for a piggyback ride he went along with it—for an uncomfortably long amount of time. Despite thrilling the members of TEP, Hexagon and Mortar Board with his rollicking good humor, Mitch admits he was confused when he received the title of class clown—he claims he's still unable to tell if people are laughing with him or at him. Plus he pointed out that clowns are scary and he's kind of a pussy.

Biggest Freshman Facebook Friender: Angela Ni If Angela Ni didn’t friend you on Facebook one month into school four years ago, are you even relevant? This friendly friend–er from Cali is just as involved on campus as she is online—maybe it’s all the time she spends on the Undergraduate Assembly and Class Board, or her Engineering classes, or the students that she TAs for STAT 430 that helped her meet virtually everyone and become the top Facebook user of the Class of 2017. We don’t know for sure which of the three is responsible, but we do know that Angela couldn’t be more kind—and Facebook friendly.

Closest Freshman Hall: EH4, KCECH Brought together by a lack of AC and an RA lovingly and jokingly(?) referred to as “Dad,” the residents of the 4th Floor of English House were inseparable from the jump. While not technically a cult, it’s also not entirely clear they’re not a cult—they “adopted” some friends from other College Houses freshman year… who then moved into EH4. Regardless, with their annual holiday party, their four different group chats and their Kardashian–style “family” photoshoots, it’s easy to see how much love they’ve got for each other. Like, how many RAs fly back from their finance job in Singapore to visit their old residents?

CAN SOMEONE PASS ALONG THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE TO THE BOYS IN "ST. A'S" OR "THE HALL"?

I HAVE A SUGGESTION. MAYBE CONSIDER CHANGING YOUR NAME TO "THE FOYER." FOYERS ARE A LOT LIKE HALLS, BUT THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE BIT FANCIER. NO NEED TO THANK ME. IT'S WHAT I DO. 1 6 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 17 , 2 016

Most Likely to Get Forbes 30 Under 30: Cody Min Honestly, the real surprise here is that Cody isn't already on the esteemed list. He's a photographer, director, and designer. He’s shot a commercial with MealPal and worked gigs for McKinsey and Herban Quality Eats. With his business, he travels to New York about once a week for work. He went to Forbes 30 Under 30 earlier this year with Bels Senior Society. Now it’s just a matter of time until he returns as a honoree too.

VICE & VIRTUE

FOODGIRL: GREEK YOGURT MAC & CHEESE Like Easy Mac, but with protien and taste. AMANDA ROTA

Greek yogurt can make absolutely anything better. I previously used it in healthy cheesecake bars, and I’m pretty sure I’ve already preached enough about how much I love Greek yogurt. So now I’ll let you know now how much I love mac & cheese. Easy Mac is pretty much a college staple. Every college student loves convenience, and there’s not much that’s easier than pouring some water in a cup and microwaving it in order to get mac & cheese.

This mac & cheese recipe is delicious, yet you don’t have to use that neon orange powder found in boxed mixes, and there is actual protein

present. Alternately, when making homemade macaroni and cheese, recipes often use tons of heavy cream and full– fat cheese in order to taste good. This recipe is tasty yet cuts back on the unnecessary fat. There’s also a very good chance that you already have most of these ingredients at home and can easily make it the next time you’re craving mac & cheese but don’t want to run to Wawa. The only thing that this recipe is lacking is fun shapes (I’m looking at you, Spongebob mac & cheese), but you can feel free to use any shaped noodles you find at the grocery store.

WHAT YOU'LL NEED • • • •

Approximately 10 oz. pasta 1 cup reduced fat cheddar cheese (you can choose any other kind you’d like) ¼ cup skim milk ¼ cup plain Greek yogurt

Servings: 3 bowls

PROCEDURE 1. Cook the pasta until al dente (that’s italian for “not quite as soft as you’d like it”). Drain completely in a colander in the sink.

2. In the empty pot you used to cook your pasta, mix the cheese and milk together.

3. After the cheese melts, add the Greek yogurt.

4. Mix together until everything is evenly distributed.

5. Pour the pasta back into the pot and mix until it is fully coated with the cheese mixture.

6. Serve immediately.

TIPS AND TRICKS: • • •

Feel free to use any type of cheese or pasta shape you prefer.

Add in vegetables such as broccoli or peas or protein such as bacon and chicken—it’s up to you!

Serve the mac and cheese while it’s still warm. This recipe tastes best the day that you make it.

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After Lunch Lunch Lunch Special: Special: Special: Mon-Fri Mon-Fri Mon-Fri $8.95 $8.95 $8.95 movie movie movie theater theater theater is somewhere is is somewhere somewhere bebeworking in Chicago, Baltimorebe- homelessness. The wall to the tween tween tween $196,136 $196,136 $196,136 and and and $295,344, $295,344, $295,344, >> left of Total the entrance isofcovered >> >> Total Total amount amount amount ofof and then at a Philly nonprofit, Early Early Early Bird: Bird: Bird: Sun-Thur Sun-Thur Sun-Thur $10.95 $10.95 $10.95 depending depending depending on on whether on whether whether they they they use use use in little sticky–note houses with money money money spent spent spent watching watching watching he saw the work of companies Netfl Netfl Netfl ix ix or ix or iTunes, or iTunes, iTunes, respectively. respectively. respectively. donators' names written on online, online, online, if all if ifall people allpeople people who who who like Toms and Warby Parker Moral Moral Moral of of the ofthe story thestory story is: is: we is:we won't we won't won't paid the wall, and a cork board with paid paid forfor online foronline online services services services with direct social impact visions. judge judge judge if you if ifyou you justjust just stay stay stay in in bed. inbed. bed. the charity's mission is on full used used used Netflix* Netflix* Netflix* Drawn to social entrepreneurdisplay. This past Wednesday, ship, he bought an old food • 215.387.8533 • •215.387.8533 *A*A*A simple simple simple random random random sample sample sample Schmear It held a "soft openPattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com PattayaRestaurant.com 215.387.8533 truck on eBay, painted it bright *$12.50/ticket *$12.50/ticket *$12.50/ticket at the atatthe Rave theRave Rave of of 100 of100 100 Penn Penn Penn undergrads undergrads undergrads were were were ing" • University • •University 4006 4006 4006 Chestnut Chestnut Chestnut Street Street Street University City City City using arent pay–as–you–wish red and chose a name—Schmear *$3.99 *$3.99 *$3.99 to rent toto arent movie a amovie movie on on iTunes oniTunes iTunes surveyed surveyed surveyed to to collect tocollect collect data data data about about about strategy to benefit the Bethesda *$7.99/month *$7.99/month *$7.99/month on on Netflix onNetflix Netflix It. Three years later, Schmear It 8 88 their their their film film fiviewing lmviewing viewing habits. habits. habits.

Project 100 percent. Fine tells has grown into a fixture of the of the day's success, happy that Penn food truck scene and has blown up so much that a brick– people paid equal to or more and–mortar location just opened than the general asking price for the products. at 3061 Market St. The new permanent location Fine defines his restaurant by offers, in addition to the variety three principles: its customer serof bagels and customizable vice, social impact and customizschmears of the truck, customizable food experience. Calling able breakfast sandwiches and itself the "Coldstone Creamery yogurt parfaits. of Breakfast" means Schmear It Looking to the future, Fine has big shoes to fill, but in the hopes to continue expanding the vein of fast casual, Fine delivers. store's presence in Philly, but at He attributes his knowledge the moment, he's keeping his of the "business of people" to options open. He's hoping to his time at Penn, although he 10pm - 2am make the physical store space joked about the relevance of more homey, potentially hosting his History and Communicaa decorating party. When asked tions majors to small–business what the most rewarding part ownership. of the ownership experience, he A major part of Schmear It's cites personal interaction. What vision is its partnership with local nonprofits. The food truck Schmear It is really about is engaging with the community features biweekly partnerships and making it better from the with rotating charities, but in inside out. All that and bagels the interest of permanence, the restaurant will focus on monthly too? We'll take it. charities. During the month of November, National Home40th and Spruce Street, University City • T: 215-382-1330 • copauc.com ANNABELLE WILLIAMS lessness Awareness Month,

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STREET'S FALL ACTIVITIES ROUNDUP PASSYUNK PASSEGGIATA

This weekly street festival runs every Wednesday from now until Christmas and includes a farmers’ market, shopping and happy hour. Located at 1904 E Passyunk Ave., the festival opens every week at 2 p.m. and continues until 8 p.m. with live music, happy hours, and restaurant specials.

Featured vendors include Amelie’s Bark Shop, Capogiro and Mancuso’s Cheese Shop.

Musicians perform at two locations, at 11th and Tasker streets and at 13th and Mifflin streets. Performers include The Blue Pharoahs and Mia Johnson.

FRANKLIN SQUARE HOLIDAY FESTIVAL & ELECTRIC SPECTACLE HOLIDAY LIGHT SHOW

Located in Franklin Square, this light show runs from November 10 to December 31 and the show itself begins every 30 minutes from 4:30 p.m. and continues until 8 p.m. on Sundays through Thursdays and until 9 p.m. on

VICE & VIRTUE

You know, besides Instagram.

AMANDA ROTA

Fridays and Saturdays. Aside from the light show, the festival itself includes shopping, activities and pop up performances. Food will be served in Winter Beer Garden, which will offer cider, egg nog, burgers, hot dogs, craft beers and cakes. Look out for the live ice sculpting performance on December 8th from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. and for a meet and greet by the Pennsylvania Ballet performers from The Nutcracker on November 18th from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.

SKATING AT ROTHMAN ICE RINK

Living in Philadelphia, we often miss out on the scenic hikes and nature walks we might have in the countryside. But you should still grab a jacket, a friend and a warm beverage and leave campus to enjoy a day in the great urban outdoors.

Monday – Thursday: Noon – 9 p.m.

Friday: Noon – 11 p.m.

Saturday: 11 a.m. – 11 p.m.

Sunday: 11 a.m. – 8 p.m.

PEDDLER’S VILLAGE

Peddler’s Village, located in about an hour and a half away in Buck’s County, hosted host a holiday festival on November 11, but don't worry if you missed it—the old, cozy village is still decked out in festive holiday style, the likes of which will all but guarantee you likes on your profile picture this winter.

Enjoy strolling through streets and browsing in shops to kick off the holidays. Maybe you'll even find something

nice to buy your mom for the holidays. Honestly, it's time for you to stop thinking about just yourself.

Open this season from November 11 to February 26, the Rothman Ice Rink at Dilworth Park offers skating for the hours listed below for $15 including skate rental. The rink also offers the opportunity to take lessons throughout the season. The Rothman Cabin at the rink will serve craft beers and poutine all season. Coming up is the grand opening of the rink on November 11. The opening, featuring music and a food drive, will celebrate veterans and active military.

N O V E M B E R 17 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 9

(PENN)FACING

THE PLEDGE There’s a long–standing association between the idea of The Penn Face—the phenomenon of having to put on a mask of confidence, happiness, awakeness, ok–ness— and mental health awareness.

The creators of Penn Faces, a small group of five students lead by Emily Hoeven (C '18), came together nearly a year ago, hoping to separate the two ideas.

“There are a lot of groups on campus that try to combat the Penn Face, but this is specifically a place to go to do just that,” explains Isabella Cuan (C '18), who has been actively involved with boosting the project’s presence on campus this semester.

Cuan, one of the original five

VICE & VIRTUE

The Resilience Project: Penn Students are using social media to improve mental health awareness on campus.

AMANDA HULSE

students on the project, has photographed many Penn Faces contributors, and her poignant closeups accompany Penn Faces’ online stories.

This past Friday, Penn Faces held a speakeasy on College Green, where a collection of both professors and students were invited to come share their own stories of resilience.

Many of the students who

spoke have also shared their stories on the site.

The site accepts submissions of all sorts, including essays, short stories, drawings or anything else someone might want to display online. Although stories can be submitted with a name or anonymously, those who don’t feel as comfortable opening up on the site can choose instead to

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sign the virtual pledge, adding themselves to a running tally of students, faculty and alumni. The pledge, explains Cuan, is a way to word the mission of Penn Faces “without excluding it to matters of mental health.”

The pledge, the heart of Penn Faces, reads: “I pledge to challenge a single notion of success, to contribute to an environment where others feel safe and comfortable, to create more honest and open dialogue, to learn from setbacks and be proud of accomplishments that matter to me.”

Even if you don’t feel comfortable sharing a story on the site, it’s worth checking out.

Below each story is a button that reads “I am here with you,” each click of which contributes to a tally of empowering fist symbols collected near

the top of the story. Although the list of stories on the site is still growing, the speakeasy event held on Friday emphasized the need on campus for a place of open sharing.

Some of Penn’s most beloved professors, including calculus superhero Nakia Rimmer and creative writing goddess Kathryn Watterson spoke out about their deeply personal experiences with failure, illness and the universal obstacle of establishing self–esteem.

The mission of Penn Faces can best be summed up by Watterson’s final comments, spoken to a group of students huddled in the cold, sitting on tablecloths on College Green as they hung onto her every word.

“Don’t wait for somebody else to love you, just love yourself.”

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THEY'RE USUALLY ABOUT 90 DEGREES.

HEROIN MIDDLE FINGERS

& ARTS

the other characters understand them, which “adds a lot of fun and flavor to the play.” “[The play] ironically takes place in China by a mid–century European man who uses China to place it in a far off, distant land,” O’Connor said.

“So, having Chinese people speaking Chinese is sort of a fun both honoring and middle finger towards that.”

Bertolt Brecht, the midcentury European man whose play O’Connor adjusts and Penn's Theatre Arts Program gives Brecht the middle claris park subverts, was a poet, director finger in their upcoming fall production. and playwright who thought that theater was not a place for On November 16–19, in the der her harsh labor conditions. Wyatt in the role of the child. audience members to emotionBruce Montgomery Theatre at In the version of the play The remaining seven cast ally identify. Instead, he insisted the Annenberg Center for the O’Connor is directing, which members are Penn students, that the theater should influPerforming Arts, Penn’s Theatre was written in 1943, instead of but four of them are exchange ence spectators to rationally and Arts department will bring the turning the town into a tobacco students from Germany, Japan, critically reflect on themselves classic Brecht play, The Good farm, Shen Te essentially beand China. so that they could take steps Person of Szechuan, to life for comes a heroin dealer.

The two Chinese foreign towards recognizing and standtheir semesterly production, “[This version of the play is] exchange students play an ing up against social injustices. with some tweaking. a little harder. The critique is a integral part in the message of This type of theater that Brecht David O’Connor, the Theatre little sharper, and the impact the play. The two students play proposed eventually came to Arts Program’s adjunct faculty of heroin, as a dynamic, is very three gods using puppets, and be known as “epic theater,” and member directing this produc- relevant,” O’Connor said, “It’s a lot of their dialogue includes despite all he said about theater tion, spoke to Street about the become a problem, and not just Mandarin. It allows for the not emotionally touching audiadded elements of puppetry, in places that are still economi- three characters to interact with ence members, The Good Person original music and the use of cally dire, but all over. Drugs one another without having Mandarin to the “heroin verand drug use and profiting off sion” of the play. drug use as part of the equation Yep. Heroin version. is super relevant.”

In the original version of the This added theme plus the play finished in 1941, the main choices to use original music character, Shen Te, always tries composed by Patrick Lamborn,

MID–CENTURY GERMAN MEN

of Szechuan is not devoid of emotion.

“It’s a love story with the most depressing ending you will ever find in your entire life, and I don’t mean Romeo and Juliet depressing,” said Helena von Nagy (C’18). “I mean it will leave you in a little huddled heap on your chair. “ Helena plays Shen Te, a young prostitute who disguises herself as Shui Ta, a male alter ego, in the production. Like O’Connor, she finds that parts of the play are quite relevant today, especially to the current election and gender stereotypes.

“Brecht obeys gender stereotypes in the creation of Shen Te and Shui Ta,” she said, “Of course, Shen Te is the dumb, naïve one—she’s the girl. And the Shui Ta is the more calculating slightly less emotional one, and he’s the guy. And that bothers me.”

Tickets for The Good Person of Szechuan will be on sale soon at the Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts and on their website.

I can’t wait to study for the LSAT.

Said no one ever. to do the right thing and take care of everyone, which is a difficult thing to do when she can barely support herself with the few resources she has. Towards the end of the play, Shen Te turns her small town into a tobacco farming town in order to save money and prepare for the arrival of her child. This proves to be problematic because she turns out to be a terrible boss and the entire town suffers un-

puppetry involving large masks and household objects, and different languages is aided by the incredibly diverse nine person cast. Patrick Lamborn, a Philadelphia based musician who collaborated with the Theatre Arts Program last semester on their production of The Eumenides, provides live music on stage. O’Connor’s elementary school aged son, Zach, is double cast with his classmate

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N O V E M B E R 17 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 2 1

A (DORM) ROOM ARTS

OF ONE'S OWN

Inspiration to help you make the most out of a (probably) unfortunate living situation.

ROOM 1

SITAR INDIA

Name: Caroline Huber How would you describe your style?: I’d call it bohemian meets mid–century modern—just sticking to my LA roots.

What design choice do you think is the most important?: Keep it clean.

What Professor Wesley likes: Appealing contrast of natural and artificial materials, patterns and textures; clean and contemporary look (paint color, floor and desk lamp, lounge and desk chair and desk) with a warm and cozy feeling (rug, fabric on lounge chair and sheep skin).

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Everyone remembers the heartache of their first college dorm. It was minuscule, with nearly all space monopolized by the prescribed bed, nightstand and desk combination. It had walls painted a nightmarish shade of brownish green or maybe aquamarine with miscellaneous holes and scratches speckled across them. The single window was only a slit hardly yielding any light and its screen was left leaning against a wall, uninstalled. Without any air conditioning, the air of the late Philadelphia summer was stagnant and heavy in that tiny room, crammed full of your family. You remember wondering then if it were too soon to transfer…

To be able to transform a space like a dorm room is a valuable skill. Private space, space you can move through as yourself and feel comfortable, is an emotional necessity. Small things can transform even the most seemingly bleak situation—the division of space through furniture, smart lighting and personal artifacts. The impact these changes can have on a space is surprising, and the impact they can have on you is even more so. These rooms designed by Penn students should provide some inspiration.

Professor Richard Wesley, the Undergraduate Chair of Architecture, picked two of his favorites below:

ARTS

ROOM 2

Name(s): Marissa Picozzi, E '19 and Cindy Wang, C '19 How would you describe your style?: I really enjoy a minimalist, neutral base/background with a few eccentric pops that you can change up from time to time.

What design choice do you think is the most important?: I definitely

think that having one or two consistent elements/pieces is important in design, just because those elements can have carry greater meaning over time and really ground your design.

What Professor Wesley likes: Dramatic cloud–like cloth ceiling with a playful use of cascading colored cloth flowers; delightful manner of introducing and relating something unexpected with the elements of a traditional room.

MAJOR (TUR)KEY: PARDON YOUR OWN TURKEY THIS YEAR! THINK ABOUT IT. WHY DOES ONLY THE PRESIDENT GET TO PARDON TURKEYS ON THANKSGIVING? THAT'S LIKE, THE OPPOSITE OF DEMOCRACY. I FOR ONE PLAN ON PARDONING SEVERAL TURKEYS. YOU SHOULD TOO. #TAKEBACKTHEPARDON.

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ARTS

HONORABLE MENTIONS

ROOM 3

Name: Lorena Serrano, W '17 How would you describe your style?: I would say my room is modern with a chic/artsy twist. I love the clean, all white look, but the pops of color add a certain flare to it and make the room much more interesting.

What design choice do you think is the most important?: I think organizing well and having as much possible open space is super important. Having everything organized, the white furniture and good lighting all make the space seem uncluttered and stress–free.

ROOM 4

Name: Jayne Hoffman, N '18 How would you describe your style?: I would describe my style as classic with a twist of modern. I like to work off of a background of neutral colors and add in some personal style. Currently, I chose metallics to brighten up the neutral palette of my room.

What design choice do you think is the most important?: Being that many students here live in small dorms or apartments, I would say the best use of space is important, as well as making your living space a cozy atmosphere to escape to. Both of these were my objectives when designing my room!

ROOM 5

Name: Hannah Fagen, C'17 How would you describe your style?: My style is simple, warm and cheerful.

What design choice do you think is the most important?:The most important thing about designing a living space is ensuring that it fits all of your needs, and sets a good tone for your life. I start and end my days here, and believe that the spaces in which we live have great power to influence the way we feel. My room is where I study, write, sleep and host friends, so I made sure to give ample and intentional spaces for each of those things.

Decorating doesn’t have to be laborious or expensive; most things in my room are from discount stores, Ikea or old furniture from my parents.

2 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 17 , 2 016

ARTS

ROOM 6

Name: Ashley Cukier, C'17 How would you describe your style?: I'd describe my style as functional because my room really works for me/ the student lifestyle.

What design choice do you think is the most important?: I think it's most important to think about what you want to use the room for when designing a living space. For example, I knew I wanted to be able to study in my room but also for it to be a good place for people to hangout, so I kept the wall decorations minimal to avoid distractions and put the sitting area away from the desk.

ROOM 7

Name, year, major: Ashley Chen, C'18 How would you describe your style?: I wouldn't really say I have a set style—I just like to be comfortable, and I let that dictate my design choices.

WOW I HAVE SO MUCH SPACE TO SAY SOMETHING IMPORTANT. OH GOD THIS IS A LOT OF PRESSURE. OKAY. HERE IT GOES. READY? OKAY. THERE ARE MORE NIPPLES IN THE WORLD THAN PEOPLE. N O V E M B E R 17 , 2 016 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 2 5

LOWBROW

JOINING A SORORITY HELPED ME

FIND MY SISTERS I literally found my sisters through rushing.

to sophomores go on and on about finding a family in the girls they met through pledging SIS, but little did I think I’d actually find mine.

But I did.

I didn’t realize Hallie and Annie were my sisters until I looked at them for the first time and they literally looked exactly like me. We also have the same birthday (October 11, holler) and the same last name, so I guess you could say we just sort of put the pieces together.

Finding my sisters was the best thing that ever happened to me. Our lineage is literally just the three of us and our

divorced parents. We know some girls with two bigs who don’t get along, but they don’t get it like we do! Lol. Mom’s weekend is next weekend and I’m super excited. My mom is coming but I guess Hallie and Annie are also bringing some woman named Meredith Blake.

Should be interesting.

I know Greek life gets a bad rep, but it literally brought me to my SISters.

Who knows, it could change your life too!

Illustration by Sofie Praestgaard

I’ve heard a lot of people say that they found their sisters after rushing a sorority at Penn. They’ll say that first semester was a little tough— they were away from family and they felt isolated, like no one understood them. Then they joined a sorority and their worlds turned upside down. They realized they haven’t just made ordinary bonds with these girls, but instead they’ve joined a sisterhood.

I can definitely relate… to the extreme. Before I joined Sigma Iota Sigma (SIS), I felt alone—like part of me was missing. I was listening

This article was originally published on The Odyssey.

FRAT HIRES A CAPPELLA GROUP FOR DOWNTOWN You can't pay the cover if you ain't got har–money.

When Steve Aoki cancelled his appearance at an off–campus fraternity downtown two weeks ago, the frat scrambled to find a replacement. Straight off their Fall show, the Looney Tunes, Penn’s premiere a cappella group known for being not Off the Beat, volunteered to fill the vacant spot. The party–goers were unaware of the change, however, and many were met with confusion as the undergraduate singing group took the stage.

As the Tunes started their Billy Joel medley (of course), beginning with "Uptown Girl" (of course) and transitioning into “The Longest Time" (of course), one dynamic duo couldn’t handle the music of BJ, so they opted for a BJ in the bathroom instead.

As the group moved into “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” several fraternity brothers decided to light

up in the middle of the dance floor. Inspired by how much they had touched their audience, the Looney Tunes decided to stay longer than they had actually planned.

Issues occurred when the Tunes, in need of water, could only find vodka to coat their throats. Shortly becoming intoxicated themselves, the Tunes began to mess up some of their harmonies, which, given that everyone at the downtown was belligerent, literally no one noticed.

As the set finished, the Tunes began to infiltrate the dance floor, which scared the rest of the party–goers as they had never seen GDIs before in real life.

Both parties agreed that the night ended on a low note, though the Tunes were proud of their alto finish.

2 6 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 17 , 2 016

Illustration by Gloria Yuen

LOWBROW

WITH NO OTHER EVENTS TO LOOK FORWARD TO, STUDENTS BEGIN CELEBRATING SPRING FLING It's never too early.

equipped with a tired pun or uninteresting inside joke based off of a student’s given club or friend group—and disposing of the social norm to drink alcohol at night.

“Since we couldn’t do Penn– Princeton we decided to just have a fling darty.” A junior in an off–campus social organization told Street. He continued, “it would be sad to just, like, drink all day for no reason. But if you say it’s for fling then it’s cool.”

Despite the six–month gap, students have had an easy time justifying the decision. Julie explained the reasoning: “So fling is technically just the weekend but everyone parties starting on the Sunday. And St. Patty's is basically a warm–up. So why not just start now?”

Julie told us she plans on skipping class to observe the festivities.

LOWBROW ISN'T REAL. NEITHER WAS YOUR FRIEND'S RSPONSE WHEN SHE TOLD YOU YOUR THESIS SOUNDS INTERESTING. IT ALMOST CERTAINLY SOUNDS BORING AF. SHE WAS JUST BEING POLITE. SORRY.

Illustration by Gloria Yuen

Students often lament their susceptibility to procrastination when it comes to completing assignments for class, though this apparently is not a worry of theirs when preparing for Spring Fling. Although the week of bacchic celebrations typically takes place at the end of April, students are starting the festivities now.

“I generally don’t have anything in my life to look forward to besides Fling so like I’m glad we’re starting it now,” said Wharton junior Barton Wellington. Julie Rothfein ('17) echoed this sentiment. “It’s totally the best week of the year. Everyone is so happy. Or maybe they’re just coked out? I don’t know but everyone is much more fun to be around either way.”

Preparations have included sporting fling tanks—

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LOWBROW

LOWBROW'S GUIDE ON

HOW TO SABS

"SABS"= see and be seen. But if you had to ask, do you even go here?

STEP 1: Set your alarm, “You’re So Vain.”

STEP 2: Curate the perfect SABSing outfit: black pants and a black top (you want your outside to reflect your inside), butterfly wings (on sale after Halloween!) and a traditional Mardi Gras hat. Drawing attention to yourself is key.

STEP 3: Hustle to Frontera, the holy grail of SABS spots. If it’s already full, kill someone who’s sitting there. All’s fair in war and SABSing. Pro–tip: Bring survival supplies such as 1) a butt pillow 2) iodine (to purify water) 3) a Swiss Army knife and 4) a Persian rug.

You’re going to be here for a while.

STEP 4: If anyone asks, you don’t know what SABSing is. You don’t even know what your name is. What year is it?

It’s not cool to try.

STEP 5: Surround yourself with a group of similar looking friends. Extra points if they’re imaginary and/or invisible.

Corporeal friends are sooooooo passé.

STEP 6: Whittle a stick into a pitchfork. (This isn’t specific to SABSing, it’s just fun.)

STEP 7: Take out your sitar and start playing.

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Illustrations by Gloria Yuen