BH Parent Fall 2018 by Evergreen Media

BHPARENT FALL 2018

YOUR FREE COPY

LOCAL LIFE

BEST SCHOOL YEAR YET!

26 ideas and resources you need for an easier transition to school and busy schedules

Fact: A single JUUL pod contains as much nicotine as a pack of 20 regular cigarettes Young brains continue to develop until about age 25 and nicotine can harm a growing brain – it is known to damage brain circuits that control attention, learning, and susceptibility to addiction E-cigarette use among middle and high school students has now surpassed use of regular cigarettes and continues to rise

JUULing is dangerous. The newest e-cigarettes are shaped like flash drives and are being used at alarming rates by teens. JUUL and MarkTen Elite are two popular brands. These devices are very discrete and come in an array of tasty flavors targeted at kids.

Mom, everybody is JUULing. It’s no big deal... way safer than smoking, and it’s fun.

Some don’t contain nicotine. It’s just harmless flavor and water vapor...

Whoa – I didn’t know that. I think I might stay away from that stuff. So not worth it.

1.866.SD-QUITS

Parents and teens need to talk about e-cigarette use and know the facts. The use of any tobacco product is unsafe for young people. For more information: E-cigarettes.SurgeonGeneral.gov

SDQuitLine.com A PUBLIC HEALTH MESSAGE FROM

SOUTH DAKOTA DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH

BHPARENT 1

College Planning

Start saving for your children’s future today with CollegeAccess 529

No gift is greater than an education. To learn how to start saving today visit www.collegeaccess529.com. Investors should consider the investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses of CollegeAccess 529 Plan before investing. This and other information is contained in the current Plan Disclosure Statement. Before investing, investors should read the Plan Disclosure Statement carefully, and consider whether their state of residency—or their intended Designated Beneficiary’s state of residency—offers any benefit, such as a state tax deduction, which are only available for investments in that state’s 529 savings program. Only South Dakota residents and Account Owners who designate a South Dakota resident as Beneficiary can invest directly in the CollegeAccess 529 Plan. Certain Portfolios are not available to those who invest directly. Residents of states other than South Dakota can invest in the CollegeAccess 529 Plan only through a financial advisor. Additional fees apply for investments made through a financial advisor. Please see the Plan Disclosure Statement for details. State taxes may apply for residents of states other than South Dakota. CollegeAccess 529 Plan is a section 529 college savings plan sponsored by the State of South Dakota, and managed by Allianz Global Investors Distributors LLC. Notice: The account is not insured by any state, and neither the principal deposited nor any investment return is guaranteed by any state. Furthermore, the account is not insured, nor the principal or any investment returns guaranteed, by the federal government or any federal agency. 469609 | 03008 2 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

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Where did Kade go?

How do I get in this thing?

COVER FUN! Kade was a trooper with our crazy ideas. We asked this 8-year-old to break the rules for an hour and climb inside a locker at General Beadle Elementary school. He thought we were joking! But the crazy didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t end there. We asked Becky, his mom, to throw paper airplanes at him and school supplies in front of him. And alas, we ended up with the perfect cover for our Back to School fall issue of BHParent magazine.

Mom! Stop throwing stuff at me!

With busy schedules and back to school fall madness, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to think life is crazy. But, embrace it! Be flexible, and let the chaos turn into something beautiful. As you turn through these pages, test the tricks and find something inspiring to try. Then, visit us online.

What are you doing over there? Can I come out yet?

We can still see you, Kade.

No stationery was harmed during the making of this image.

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CONTENTS

22 Buzz

4 Falling into Schedules As you turn through these pages, we hope you find inspiration for your family this season. 9 Sweat, Smile, Repeat Get into a routine with a quick 20-minute workout you can do during naptime. 10 School is in Session A few tips to make those mornings and evenings of prep and homework easier.

BHPARENT Publisher Rick DenHerder Marketing Consultant Natasha Moberly Managing Director Jenna Carda Digital Director John Eining Creative Director John Edwards Senior Designer Chris Valencia Communications Manager Meghan Rose Distribution Richard Alley Photographer Jesse Brown Nelson Contributers Lyndsey Akley, Molly Barari, Christa Melnyk Hines, Danie Koskan, Jaclyn Lanae, Sarah Lyons, Pam Molnar Our Puppy Pals Cooper Marley Tucker ÂŠ Black Hills Parent. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any part of this publication without the expressed consent of the publisher is prohibited. The information included in this publication is believed to be accurate at the time of publishing. Additional advertiser information and articles are available online at blackhillsparent.com. Black Hills Parent magazine is a free, quarterly publication distributed throughout black hills area communitiesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;from Rapid City to Spearfish, Deadwood to Hill City, Custer to Hot Springs, and every place in between, including: schools, medical and dental waiting areas, childcare facilities, specialty retailers, and other key locations in this area. Get an exclusive look at Black Hills Parent through our e-letter at blackhillsparent.com. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for updates.

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13 The Big Picture Katherine Heikes is using her artistic talent by volunteering to teach others. 15 The Future is Bright 14-year-old Harper Keim shines as a positive role model to anyone she meets.

32 The Back to School Issue

18 Embracing Busy If a full fall calendar has you teetering between dread and delight, take heart. 22 The ABCs of a Successful School Year From A to Z, these 26 quick tips will help your family throughout the entire year. 28 Know their Learning Style Learn the way your child learns to maximize their potential.

Spotlight: Stay Active 32 Coaches of Excellence Denny Menholt Rapid Chevrolet and Black Hills Parent magazine are excited to share this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coaches of Excellence honorees.

44 36 Yoga for Everyone The value of intentional breathing for the young, the old, and everyone in between.

Columns

42 Ages & Stages: Why Not You? The roadmap to becoming an adoptive parent or involved in foster care.

51 Local Life 54 Black Hills Cuties 57 Calendar 62 More Local Stories Online at blackhillsparent.com

44 Ages & Stages: Teaching Independence Some ideas to help kids naturally develop their own independence. 46 Finances: Surviving & Thriving How to make it on a single income while still living a well-rounded lifestyle. 49 Health: Outweighing the Negatives Learning proper techniques in athletics can save your student from disability. 51 Nonprofits: Making an Impact Fork Real Community Cafe

BHPARENT 7

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words Dr. Rhianna Wickett, PT, DPT, CSCS Elevate Performance Complete each exercise for 30 seconds. Work your way up to one minute per exercise before taking a break.

CALF RAISES: Stand near a counter or railing for balance. Keep your abs tight and knees straight. Lift both heels off the ground and slowly lower back down for a count of two. Repeat. Challenge yourself: try it on one leg only! BODY WEIGHT SQUATS: Start with your feet slightly wider than hip width. Place your arms behind your head or straight out in front of you at shoulder height. Squat down, keeping your shoulders back and look straight ahead. When you go into your squat, push your butt back keeping your knees behind your toes. PUSH UPS: Start in a downward position with your hands flat on the ground, wrists directly beneath your shoulders. Keep your hips in line with your shoulders and tighten your abs. Try to keep your elbows in at your sides when they’re bent. Modify the advanced pushup on your knees or on an incline with your hands on the wall or counter. FRONT PLANK: Begin with your forearms flat on the floor. Lift your hips until they are in a straight line from your shoulders to your toes. Focus on pushing your heels away from you, keeping your abs tight, to get the best results. CHAIR TRICEP DIP: Sit in a chair without wheels and place your hands on the edge of the chair next to your legs. Keeping your elbows straight, walk your legs away from you until your knees are straight and hips are off the chair. Slowly lower your body as you bend your elbows (they should point straight behind you) for a count of two, then straighten your arms for a count of two. For the full 20-minute Naptime Workout, visit blackhillsparent.com.

KNOW YOUR OPTIONS Not involved in school sports? Keep your family moving with these fun activities. • Biking • Swimming • Walking/Hiking • Gymnastics • Archery • Golf • Dance • Theatre • Skateboarding • Snowboarding/Skiing • Bowling • Jiu Jitsu • Karate • Yoga • Rock Climbing • Frisbee

Multiple health resources suggest drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of water each day, which equals about a half a gallon. No, we aren’t joking! 64 ounces may seem like a lot, but it’s easier than you think. On two 32-oz water bottles, mark lines in hour increments for morning on one bottle and the afternoon on the next. Fill each water bottle and keep them close! Try to keep up by drinking enough water by the time by each level. BHPARENT 9

SCHOOL IS IN SESSION As students head back to school this season, here are a few tips to make those morning and evenings filled with prep and homework easier. FOOD

Busy schedules mean back to prepped meals for lunch. With four steps, you’ll have the week planned out in no time!

• meat & cheeses • crackers • carrots • grapes • juice box

• pb & jelly • strawberries • cookie • milk

• sandwhich roll ups • blueberries • pretzel bites • water

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Homework isn’t just for kids! If words like integer, bibliography, and metamorphic make your head spin with confusion, utilize these websites for help. • khanacademy.org • parenttoolkit.com • studygeek.org • factmonster.com

BACK TO SCHOOL BUZZ

We’ve all heard the answer to the question: “How was your day?” It’s the typical: “fine”, “ok”, or sometimes… “I don’t know.” Dive into conversation by asking specific questions and showing an active interest about their day at school. Here are a few easy starters for you to begin. • What was your favorite part of school today? • How did you help somebody today? • Tell me something that made you laugh today. • What book are you reading at school? • What was the best game at recess today? • Did you learn any new words today? • Who did you play with today? • Are you ready for tomorrow?

TIPS FROM BH TEACHERS “If there’s an open house, go meet the teacher to introduce yourself and voice any concerns for the upcoming year. Give everyone a chance to get back in the groove, but if your child experiences difficulties making the adjustment to the new year, don’t wait until Thanksgiving to say something.” Wendy Schamber, Lead-Deadwood Middle School

“Make sure you, as the parents and or grandparents, (and the kid’s) post their schedule somewhere. I think its great to teach kids responsibility. The night before go over their schedule and the weather. Do they have the appropriate outfit picked out for school in the morning? This cuts off so much time getting ready.” Shelly Vidas, Meadowbrook Elementary

“For parents and students, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Educators love helping and getting to know students and their parents. Asking for help also ensures we are able to provide the best school experience possible, which is what we want for each and every student.” Lindsey Ruml, Principal/Southwest Middle School

“Get a plan set up for homework and/or reading time that works for your family. Make it a habit, so it sticks! Also, know that teachers want the best for your child. The first few weeks can be uncomfortable getting to know expectations; just ask if you have a question.” Jessica Campbell, Pinedale Elementary

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Chore List Categorized by age

Got kids? Here are some easy ways to get your little helpers involved in keeping your home clean and organized. Add in a few rewards for a job well-done and you’ve got a recipe for a fun way to teach them habits that will last a lifetime.

2-3 years old

• Throw trash away • Put away toys – tip: have designated boxes • Help put away clothes • Make their bed and organize stuffed animals

4-5 years old

• Take plates to sink • Put away clothes • Set table • Pick up toys – peek under sofa and chairs for things that don’t belong

6-8 years old

• Feed & water pets • Fold & put away laundry • Take out trash • Make the bed • Wash floor – supervised • Clean toilets • Load the dishwasher • Unload dishwasher but need help putting things away

9-12 years old

• Clean the bathroom • Teach them to operate the washer & dryer • Put away groceries • Set the table • Load & unload dishwasher • Take out the trash

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AMAZING KIDS BUZZ

The Big Picture

Katherine Heikes loves art. Now, she is using her talent and volunteering to teach others about it. words Jenna Carda photos Jesse Brown Nelson Summer 2018 was the first time Kat has volunteered as a student intern for kids’ classes at The Dahl Arts Center, and it certainly won’t be her last. “It’s so fun to work with kids,” Kat said with a smile. “It’s rewarding to see them gradually get better throughout the week.” “I am extremely proud that Katherine actually loves going to work and forms bonds with the younger kids in our community,” Kat’s mom Kimberly said. “I caught a performance this summer where she was acting along with the younger students, and I was happy to see some of the kids ask for her phone number and email to stay in touch. They aren’t just kids she has to monitor, they are young pupils.” Being surrounded by art isn’t anything new for Kat. Growing up

around art galleries, her bestemor (Norwegian for grandmother) was a professional artist from Norway who would visit schools to teach children the joy of art – something that has impaccted Kat. Her bestemor also has pieces that are a part of the Dahl’s permanent collection – a frequent place Kat visits. “I’ve always thought that this place was my comfort zone,” Kat said about the art gallery. “My family has come to look at galleries a lot throughout the years.” Though Kat can use just about any medium, she admires watercolor painting and drawing. Getting to create people and the detail of their features, like their make up, is challenging, but an outlet that is expressive to Kat. Volunteering and doing something you love can help you stay a kid a little longer. And in the art community, Kat is doing just that.

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AMAZING KIDS BUZZ

THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT

Harper Keim shines as a positive role model at school, in sports, at church, and at home as the oldest of five siblings. words Molly Barari

The 14-year-old, who is now a ninth grader at Central High School this school year, is ready for a new year. Sitting down at her favorite coffee shop this summer, she says she’s already had a taste of the high school experience. During her 8th grade year at South Middle School, she had tried out for the Central softball and Central tennis teams. With her athleticism, Harper made both. “I really like the girls I’ve met on the softball and tennis teams,” says Harper. “It’s nice to already have friends at Central.” Harper ‘s entire family is involved with sports. This summer, Harper played softball for the U-14 Crush team. In fact, four out of the five children in the Keim family played softball or baseball. “We practically live at the fields in the summer,” jokes Harper. “We’re a very active family.” Over the summer, Harper also had the chance to travel to New York City and Washington, D.C., with the South Middle School Travel Club. “We saw the Broadway musical ‘Once on This Island,’” which I absolutely loved,” says Harper. Harper has been very involved in activities throughout her time at South Middle School. One of her favorite roles was serving as a Student Ambassador, where she helped mentor her peers on academic and personal issues. She also helped organize school field days. Harper says she enjoys being a leader and plans to run for Student Council and participate in leadership forums at Central. “I also want to do drama,” she says, her eyes sparkling. “I could see myself on stage.” Although Harper has dyslexia, she excels academically, consistently making the honor roll. She loves PE, English and Science, and she’s learned to juggle studying with sports. “Over the years, she has learned how to better manage her dyslexia,” says Harper’s mom, Kelly. “She’s had wonderful teachers who have invested extra time in giving her tips and strategies to better understand what she’s reading.”

photos Jesse Brown Nelson

When Harper’s not at school or playing sports, she can usually be found at First Christian Church, where her mom is a youth pastor. Harper likes to help with children in the nursery, and she is dedicated to her youth group. “My faith has guided me to who I am today,” says Harper. “If there’s something going on in my life, I pray about it, and God helps me through it.” Harper was baptized three years ago on her grandparents’ wedding anniversary. “It was a gift from me to them.” Harper is also passionate about autism awareness. Her brother Derrus, who is five years old, is autistic and has inspired Harper to become an occupational therapist someday. She is very close to Derrus, as well as her other siblings—sister Laikin, 11, brother Andrik, 7, and her youngest brother Ryence, 3. “We love each other and will be there for each other, no matter what,” says Harper. “I try to be a good role model for my siblings, because they watch my every move.” Part of being a good role model includes volunteering for the Autism Society’s 5K run, where Harper helps with water stations. “I tell people that autistic people are just the same as we are,” says Harper, “so don’t look at them or treat them any differently.” Her dad, Brian, says describes his daughter as outgoing and helpful. “She is also determined, passionate, kind and loyal,” he says. “She is turning into a very nice young adult.” When she’s not busy taking on the world, Harper’s most loved activities include going to Denver Rockies baseball games (she saw her first one last year), attending the Hills Alive Music Festival in Rapid City , and eating candy. “I love sugar!” she exclaims with a grin. “I know Harper is going to make a big difference in the world,” said her grandmother, Mary. And with Harper’s ambition to succeed and drive to do good, anything is possible. BHPARENT 15

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BHPARENT 17

EMBRACING BUSY Back to school means back to busy. If a full fall calendar has you teetering between dread and delight, take heart. Here’s how some local families embrace the seasons’ busyness without losing their togetherness. words Danie Koskan photos Jesse Brown Nelson

Redeem the commute

The drive to and from school, practices, appointments and other commitments can take a big bite out of your family time, so don’t waste these moments on mindless online games. Instead of handing your son a screen as he slides into the backseat, give him a snack and ask about his day. No parent or kid looks forward to working on school assignments after a late game or long rehearsal, so train your children to get after it on the way to after-school activities. “I have a snack for all my kids, and then I encourage them to do their homework — read, spelling words or worksheets,” said Abby Peterson, a Rapid City mom of three. “That way, when they get home, most or all of it is completed and they can have more downtime.”

Don’t put off until morning what you can do tonight

Forget the fantasy where you rise before dawn to awake your crew with hot, out-of-the-oven breakfast, gourmet lunches and freshly laundered clothes. Reality looks more like repeatedly pushing the snooze button and frantically grabbing PopTarts while pushing your children out the door. Teach your children to think through what they might need tomorrow and pack it before they head to bed. This includes anything from piano books to permission slips. Abby has trained her 12-year-old, 10-year-old and 7-year-old to make their own lunches, fill water bottles and pack gym or other sportswear for the next day. 18 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

SCHEDULES BACK TO SCHOOL

Be flexible with family meals

Sitting down for a nightly meal is key to staying connected when fall schedules send family members in different directions. That could mean delaying dinner until everyone is finally home at 7 or 8 p.m. or eating early before the kids rush off to a game. “We eat together at the table as many nights a week as we can,” said Sarah Causey, who is raising two busy teenagers with husband, Chris. Sports schedules sometimes demand the Causeys eat in shifts at home or grab something to-go, but dinner at home is always the goal.

Make chores less of a chore

The Peterson children follow rotating chore lists that spread out their responsibilities over the weekday in order to create more hangout time on the weekend. “If they do one thing a day, then by the weekend the house is maintained, laundry done, rooms clean and weekends are left for fun and relaxation,” Abby said.

Celebrate without breaking the bank

Several local fast-food chains sell discounted drinks in the afternoon. Take advantage of the sales and swing by with the kids right after school. There’s nothing like a cold slushie on a warm fall afternoon to bring out smiles and stories from the backseat.

Pencil it in

That cool calendar app on your phone may tell you what’s going down this week, but your kids may not have a clue. Invest in a wall calendar that everyone can view. Even better, find one with columns for every family member and let them pencil in their programs, practices and outings. When kids see the bigger picture, they better understand the coming weeks aren’t all about them. Mom, dad and siblings all have places to be. Based on what they see on the calendar, your kids may have some suggestions for sticking together through the back-to-busyness.

As the spontaneity of summer gives way to the more predictable rhythms of fall, it’s natural to feel regret and relief. We long wistfully for the fleeting freedom of summer but find comfort in knowing where we’ll be as the hustle and bustle begins.

Be intentional about being unintentional: It’s smart to stay on top of where and when your family is going this fall so you can be intentional about family togetherness. But sometimes the best family moments happen when we least intend them to. So give yourself grace to do something fun and flighty with your kids this season. The homework and housework will always be there. They won’t. BHPARENT 19

Pork chop perfection!

Cook your pork like a steak - medium or medium rare for a tender, juicy, delicious chop every time. Find ideas like this one for Parmesan-Crusted New York Pork Chops at pork.org/cooking ©2018 National Pork Board, Des Moines, IA USA. This message funded by America’s Pork Producers and the Pork Checkoff.

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BHPARENT 21

The ABCs of a Successful School Year

Heading back to schedules and school can be as easy as your ABCs. Check out these 26 simple tips for a happy and healthy year.

words Pam Molnar

Accept new challenges Push your child to go outside of his comfort zone. Encourage him to try activities, learn new sports and make new friends.

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Chores Give your child a few jobs that you expect done each day before or after school such as making her bed or feeding the dog. A little bit of responsibility will go a long way.

Breakfast We all know breakfast is an important meal. If your child does not have time for a sit-down breakfast, provide on-the-go breakfast foods like muffins, fruit or protein bars.

E d

Downtime Be sure to add free time to their schedule. These are the times your child can relax on the couch, play video games or have a last minute pickup game with friends in the neighborhood.

Exercise Balance your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sedentary school day with plenty of exercise outside after school. Combine unstructured play with friends with a more structured team practice.

Friends Encourage your child to invite new friends over so you can get to know the person your child is spending time with. It is a great opportunity to meet the friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parents, too.

PREPARATION BACK TO SCHOOL

g Grab and Go snacks Instead of grabbing a handful of cookies, provide them with prebagged healthy snacks that won’t interfere with the dinner hour. Think veggies and dip or hummus and crackers.

Help your child, but don’t do it for them. We want our children to succeed, but they will never learn if we do it for them. It is okay to give suggestions, but remember that it is their name on the paper.

Illness It’s back to school and back to a room full of germs. Stock your child’s backpack or desk with tissues and hand sanitizer. Remind them to wash their hands and to sneeze into their arm.

Join Encourage your child to join activities at school. It gives them a sense of belonging and they will be more than just another face in the crowd.

K Keep trying It’s hard to see your child not get the role, position or grade that they had hoped for. Encourage your child to keep trying. Disappointment builds character and gives them the tools to succeed.

Limitations Only you know your child’s limitations. While being a part of extracurricular activities is important, sometimes they are overwhelming. It’s okay to say no to invitations and extra practice when you see your child is overwhelmed.

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Mindful of others’ Think before you say it and apologize if it comes out wrong. Practice “the more the merrier” when making plans and include new friends in your group.

Nutrition Plan ahead and stock up on ingredients for quick healthy meals that your family enjoys. Save time by using the crockpot or prepping food the night before or on the weekends.

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Organization Save yourself some sanity in the mornings by organizing things the night before. Lay out clothes, make lunches before you go to bed and put backpacks and shoes in the same place each night.

Provide a good example Practice what you preach! While words are important, your actions mean so much more.

Rules Remind everyone of the school year rules. Reestablish bed times, discuss the when, where and how long for electronics use and what happens when mom and dad are not home.

Quality time It’s easy to get wrapped up in the busyness of back to school schedules. Try to plan dinners together or have a family game night. It’s important to stay connected and catch up on each other’s day.

Social Media Reconfirm what social media sites your child belongs to and check all passwords.

PREPARATION BACK TO SCHOOL

TU Take time to talk Open your schedule each day and let your kids know when it’s a good time to come to you with problems and concerns. You will get more out of the discussion if you are both tuned in.

Use their time wisely As our kids get older, their commitments increase. Teach your child to use their time wisely by prioritizing so they aren’t up at midnight doing homework.

Volunteer This is a great way to see what goes on at school, meet the teachers and interact with the other parents. Even working parents can get involved by helping at evening and weekend events.

Workspace Establish where your child will do their homework. Is the kitchen table too distracting? Do they have a desk in their room? Choose a space that is quiet and has all the tools they may need.

Xtra help Get a jumpstart on finding a tutor for your child. If they struggle in a subject, look for someone who can keep her on track this year.

Year of… Help your child set achievable goals this year. Make this the year of straight A’s, perfect attendance or lead in the school play.

Zzzzzzs Time to return to the school-night bedtime. It’s hard to adjust to waking up early again, so adjust it a little at a time. Listen to your body and go to bed earlier if you need it.

Pam Molnar is a freelance writer and mother of three. This is her 16th new school year as a parent. BHPARENT 25

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Knowing your child’s learning style 7 styles to maximize their potential words: Jenna Carda quiz: Amber Anker Canyon Lake Elementary School, Rapid City

As the world-renowned sociologist William Spady once stated: “All students can learn and succeed but not on the same day in the same way.” Knowledge is power and when parents can understand how their children best learn, they can become better advocates for them, their education, and their future. 28 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

LEARNING BACK TO SCHOOL

Some of the leading experts in education have agreed there are seven main learning styles – a preferred way a person absorbs, processes, thinks, comprehends, and retains information. So what are the seven types?

Learning styles can have a strong impact on children’s behavior in and out of the classroom. There’s no right or wrong way; it’s all individual preference typically rooted in an array of factors. But, understanding your child’s learning style may be the key to success this school year. Help your student, and learn the way they learn!

Visual

As the name would suggest, visual learners will prefer using images to help process information and communicate their thoughts with others. These learners may need to draw out their ideas or write them down to really understand what they are thinking, so a whiteboard or a sketchpad are great tools for them. You will typically see a visual learner doodling or coloring and can easily visualize projects, plans and outcomes. This makes them excellent artists, architects, photographers, designers and strategic planners. Their capabilities of seeing something before it is created is impactful.

Auditory / Musical

Did you know musicians are typically auditory learners? Yeah, it makes sense. These learners will oftentimes use sound and rhythmic cues as memory aids. When they read, the auditory learner will prefer to read out loud, even if it is to themselves. They aren’t afraid to speak in class and they’re excellent at remembering names. These learners will benefit from jingles and often have music playing in the background to help them focus on their task.

Verbal

Like the auditory learner, reading out loud is helpful for a verbal learner. Repitition is key. When your child is reading out loud, encourage them to dramatize their voice and vary their tones rather than reading in a monotone voice. This will not only help turn their speech into an energectic presentation, it will help them recall the information. They process information best using words – both in speech and in writing. Getting excited about learning a new word and its definition is not unusual for this type of learner; it’s just another way to express themselves clearly! A tip for studying for the verbal learner is using mnemonics – acronyms focusing on the first letter of the word to make up another word or memorable sequence. Phrases will also help trigger the verbal learner’s memory.

Kinesthetic / Physical

If your child likes getting their hands dirty, you more than likely have a kinesthetic learner. These people will use their body and hands to process information and tend to be extremely animated. (Most people can be considered a kinesthetic learner to some extent.) Making models out of clay, doing puzzles, and learning through textures and touch will help them learn best. If your student is preparing for an exam, a wiggle chair, a stress ball to hold, or even a pencil to tap will put their mind at ease to focus. Encourage them to mime BHPARENT 29

Now you know about the different types of learning styles. But, what’s next? Put your knowledge to the test and take our quiz to learn what type of learner your child is. Once you establish their preferred education style, push the boundaries and encourage them to try the other styles out there, too! WHAT IS YOUR CHILD’S LEARNING STYLE?

action to pair with what they are learning. And sometimes, taking a break to go for a run, jump on the trampoline, or purely play is the best time these learners will think of something unique.

Social

Aww… our little social butterflies. For a social learner, these are actually the best situations to be in. They learn best in groups, studying with others, and are more likely to succeed when teachers assign group projects. They tend to get fired up about brainstorming and creating ideas. One-on-one time with your student’s teacher or a tutor will help them work out their problems quickly. Talking through solutions and receiving feedback on a method or answer is rewarding to them to keep pushing forward to reach their goals.

Logical / Mathematical

Do you spend more time explaining the rules to the game more so than playing the game? Welcome to the mindset of a logical thinker. Typically growing up to be engineers, mathematicians, or scientists, logical learners process information with reasoning, systems, and questions – lots of questions. Their ability to solve problems with numbers and abstract visual information is best when they can be explained in logical or linear order. The logical learner will work similarly to the visual learner – oftentimes incorporating graphs, charts and timelines to categorize information. In groups, explaining the process of how the project will unfold will put their mind at ease. 30 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

1. You let your child pick out one toy at the store. Which are they most likely to choose? a) Coloring book b) A movie c) Skateboard 2. What does your child choose to do in their free time? a) Art lessons b) Music lessons c) Sports or drama lessons 3. You’re stuck at a train for 10-minutes and no electronics. How does your child occupy their time? a) Drawing b) Telling you an elaborate story c) Fidget

Solitary

4. If your child got to plan the family activity for the day, what would they choose? a) A movie b) A concert c) Swimming pool 5. When your child reads a book to himself, he: a) Sits quietly, understanding the book b) Needs to hear the words outloud c) Is moving around while you read 6. Which apps does your child prefer? a) Looking at photos b) Watching videos c) Playing a game

On the opposite side of the social spectrum, solitary learners work best when they are able to work alone. Don’t mistake this for being a loner. They have friends just like everyone else, but when they are trying to retain information and process tasks and responsibilities, a quiet session away from crowds will suit them best. Encourage your child to journal, read, and record their thoughts if they are a solitary learner. These independent students often feel more confident with a plan in place, knowing which direction they are going. Encourage your solitary learner to ask questions when they feel they need more direction.

Mostly A’s Visual Learner Your child responds best when they are able to see it. Providing them with pictures and words will help them learn and understand. Re-writing spelling works, math facts and other lists will help them visualize the problem. Or, try videoing the lesson and replay it as needed. Mostly B’s Auditory Learner If your child is an auditory learner, being able to hear the instructions will help them to be successful. Allowing them to record the lesson and replay it as often as needed will help them retain information, as well. Mostly C’s Kinesthetic Learner A lot of learners need to be on the move. Helping them engage with hands on experiences will help them reach their full potential. Practicing writing in shaving cream is a great idea! Give them a set of things to do and reward them with movement, too. For example, complete three math problems then get up and dance!

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BHPARENT 31

PROUD SPONSORS OF THE 2018 COACHES OF EXCELLENCE

It takes dedication to be a volunteer coach – to be someone that says “I’ll do it!” and step up to be a leader of the team. And because of that dedication, we are honored to feature Coaches of Excellence for a third year in Black Hills Parent magazine. words Jenna Carda photos Jesse Brown Nelson

Melissa Austin

Competitive athletics isn’t anything new to Melissa Austin. She grew up playing baseball, soccer and basketball through high school and into college. And as soon as her son Gabriel could throw and kick a ball, she began coaching soccer and baseball. “It all started as a way to spend time with Gabe,” said Melissa as she talked about the beginning of her time as a volunteer coach. What started as a group of 5-year-old Harney Baseball players with an interest in basketball has now grown into more than just a competitive travel basketball team; they are a family. The original boys on the Rapid City Rebels basketball team are now juniors in high school – many still playing various sports. Although they aren’t playing for Coach Austin directly, they are still a major part of her new team, the Black Hills Summit, as “Bigs”. “It was difficult to think that I could coach another group of boys when I had my first group since kindergarten,” said Melissa. “But the parents of the Rebels team reminded me I had a gift to coach and that I would be able to recreate a family atmosphere no matter who was on my team.” A unique aspect to Melissa’s team is not only to win, but to love and show love. Melissa paired her “Bigs” with her new team’s “Littles” and created a mentoring program between the two. They participate in a service project together every month, and they learn to give back – to have a servant’s heart. “Her incorporation of older kids that she once coached into the lives and game of the younger kids is brilliant and has contributed to the growth of both groups of boys,” 32 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

said Brett Szymonski, a father to two current players. “I have seen a lot of coaches over the years and I can say without a doubt, that she is one of the very best I have ever had the privilege of watching. ” “In today’s modern society we’ve done an exemplary job of teaching our girls to be strong and courageous while carving their unique paths,” said Melissa, “but I think that communities fail to build boys into men. It’s important to me that young men learn how to be confident, but unselfish, and competitive, but empathetic, so they will become the best they can possibly be.” “Melissa coached me when I was younger and she has helped shape me into not only the player I am today, but the person I am today,” said her former player Erik Keohane. Melissa’s goal to teach her players to recognize their full potential is supported through her mentoring program – helping the “Littles” understand exactly what will be expected from them on both her team and in life. “Melissa gives her heart to the kids she coaches,” said her friend and Assistant Coach Coralett Segrist. “She has found her niche of combining sports and youth with compassionate servitude.” Looking back, there have been many wins for Melissa and her teams. But the biggest success is now. “They’re juniors in high school now and every one of them has a giving heart, they do well in school, and they volunteer and pay it forward,” Melissa said smiling. “Seeing them become these stellar young men is the biggest success I could ever ask for.”

TITLE SECTION Not only to win, but to love and show love, Melissa created a mentoring program between her two teams.

BHPARENT 33

Zach Hockert

Matt Nehl

Time. It’s a valuable thing to everyone, no matter what you decide to do with it – but for Matt Nehl, a husband, father of three, dentist, and coach – his time is dedicated to improving lives through health and fitness. Matt grew up playing sports – football, baseball, and wrestling – eventually playing football in college. Now, athletics are still a major part of his life as he coaches the teams his children play for: baseball, softball, soccer, football and wrestling. “Coaching allows me to get to know kids on a more personal level,” said Matt, “more than someone’s dad or dentist.” Throughout the season year after year, kids become more comfortable around you and really begin to grow. Something Matt puts a lot of emphasis on through his philosophy of coaching said Wendy Larson, a parent to a couple of Matt’s players. “Matt is patient, yet sets high expectations while teaching them the game. He strives for victory and success, but does it by trusting the girls and allowing them to take risks in order to build their skills.” The best thing about being a coach is seeing the milestones each individual player makes, according 34 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

to Coach Nehl. Whether they are catching their first pop fly in the outfield or snagging a runner out on third during a game, Matt’s athletes are encouraged to try. “They will never know if they can do something unless they try,” expressed Matt. “It’s a game, and it’s meant to be fun. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work out the way they hoped – I just encourage them to keep practicing and try again.” Matt takes these lessons to heart and practices them himself, too. As a coach who volunteers his time while running his own practice and spending time with his family, trying new things is often the norm. Juggling everything couldn’t be done without the support of his wife, his staff, and especially his assistant coaches and team parents. “We have a wonderful group of parents that help in various ways and create a fun and positive atmosphere for our players,” said Matt appreciatively. “Ryan Larson and JD Young are two other parents I coach with and they are vital to our athlete’s experience.” Surrounded by an entire community who appreciates all he has done for their own student athletes, Matt Nehl is making an impact in Belle Fourche as a coach who goes above and beyond.

Parenting is hard work – especially when you have three little ones under the age of 5 running around. Zach Hockert and his wife Shanna added to their family of four in July 2018, but their family doesn’t end there. Zach is a varsity coach for the Black Hills Lacrosse Association, which extends their circle by 24 kids each season. “Being able to mentor these kids is rewarding,” Zach said with smile as he talked about his team. “You get to teach them things that they can’t always learn from their parents, and how to be a team.” Zach began playing lacrosse as a club sport in Minnesota when he went to college. Without knowing how to play, he easily learned the ropes and found a passion for lacrosse. Now, he has been coaching athletes in the Black Hills for the past five years. Black Hills Lacrosse Association got its start in 2012, and Coach Hockert has already left his mark. Not only are his teams consistently among the top teams in the state, he has gained multiple of his players the accolades of making the All State team, as well as Mr. Lacrosse for the state of South Dakota two years in a row – something Zach considers one of his greatest achievements as coach thus far. “Our program would not be where it is today without his leadership of our boys,” said Chad Vickers – a parent to two of Zach’s players. Along with teaching valuable athletic skills, Coach Hockert places an emphasis and teaching his boys more. “Group activities are so important to a child’s development,” said Zach. “It shows that people rely on you and you rely on them. It’s a skill they will use their entire life, and it’s best to learn it early on.” Although Coach Hockert is a busy guy, between juggling family and work (and tax season during game season!), Zach dedicates 100% of himself to his team and supporting his players – something he plans on doing for years to come.

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BHPARENT 35

36 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

MEDITATION FITNESS

words Jaclyn Lanae photos Jesse Brown Nelson

& breathe Take a minute and feel the way you are breathing. Seriously. Stop reading for one moment and really pay attention to your breath. Shallow, right? Probably short? Now take a deep breath with a long, slow inhale and a long, slow exhale. Do you feel the difference in your body? Calmer? Lighter? This practice of intentional breathing is at the center of what some may consider a fitness craze: yoga. Practitioners, parents, doctors, students, clergy, and all manner of yogis have been touting the value of practicing the ascetic discipline for years; and in some countries, for centuries.

BHPARENT 37

While the list of physical benefits a better man.” And he’s modeling that kind “If we can teach our children, like is long: pain management, increased of self-care for his kids. Even if they don’t ourselves, to be where we really muscle strength, improved sleep patterns, attend a yoga class, he encourages them increased energy, balanced metabolism, to get up a little earlier and take a short are… I’m not at the grocery store, weight loss, and – perhaps obviously – walk, or wrap up in a blanket and just sit I’m not back in that fight…because flexibility, just to name a few, the impact still, take some time away from all things every time we’re in that stress of a regular practice on our mental and social and breathe. emotional health can be just as beneficial. “If we can teach our children, like place it’s dumping stress hormone As Emma M. Seppälä Ph.D. notes in her ourselves, to be where we really are… into our bodies.” Focusing on article titled Breathing: The Little Known not at the grocery store, not back in that Secret to Peace of Mind, “several studies fight…because every time we’re in that s what we’re doing right now; suggest that controlled yogic breathing tress place it’s dumping stress hormone taking a breath, observing our has immediate and positive effects on into our bodies.” psychological well-being. Within minutes, Focusing on what we’re doing right now; surroundings, “it’s so liberating,” you will feel better and place your body taking a breath, observing our surroundings, Karen asserts. in a significantly healthier state. The long“it’s so liberating,” Karen asserts. term effects of a daily breathing practice Pam Bonar, a Special Interest Group are even more pronounced. By activating teacher, agrees. When her background the part of our nervous system associated as an intervention strategist for Special with resting and digesting, breathing Education students met her discovery practices may train the body to be calmer.” She of yoga, her initial reaction was “kids need this!” Now, she continues pointing out that some studies have found teaches two Student Interest Group classes at Canyon regularly practicing breathing exercises can oftentimes Lake Elementary in Rapid City. lower one’s level of cortisol — the stress hormone. “What I teach are self-regulation, breathing, and focus,” Karen Buxel – a Rapid City mother of four, a passionate Pam explains. Kids learn about the brain and how they can yogi, and the founder and owner of SOL Yoga Collective – manage their emotional state — tools she imagines she can attest the benefits of yoga firsthand. Just four or five would have found useful herself as a child. days into her commitment to begin a daily yoga practice “When I was growing up, as soon as the teacher said as an effort care for herself with the same devotion she it was time for math, I froze - almost hyperventilating.” had invested in her children, she began to notice a Even just the word “math” paralyzed her with fear. positive change. Now she uses the experience to teach kids that that “I started seeing strength in my body, more patience, reaction is just the fight or flight response happening in so much more space in myself for my children.” Now their Amygdala, and it prevents the Hippocampus – which several years into her own personal practice, the impact is stores information – from taking it in. But, they can change even more pronounced. She’s getting great feedback from their brain’s response just by changing their focus and students, too. One woman, Karen remembers, already practicing intentional breathing. quite fit, thanked the staff after every class, reporting “These are simple tools,” Karen affirms. “They require a newfound ability to remain calm and go with the flow no money. Just time – using breath to feel peaceful on instead of getting stressed out. An impact that has kept the inside.” her coming back – and the kind of support we can all use, sometimes. Even kids; maybe, especially kids. So, take an hour. Father of two, Jeff Hauser, acknowledges that “taking an Stretch, breathe, and be quiet. hour to stretch, breathe, and to be quiet… it has made me The benefits will be worth it.

Amanda, Deborah, Zuri and the team at Sol Yoga Collective demonstrated poses they use while practicing yoga.

38 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

TITLE SECTION

Life Life happens happens here. here.

,LLP ,LLP

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LACK OF EYE CONTACT IS A SIGN OF AUTISM. Learn the others at autismspeaks.org/signs

40 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

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BHPARENT 41

Why Not You?

There are a lot of questions when parents, couples, and single members in our communities start considering how to make an impact in children’s lives – especially when they start looking at foster care and adoption options. You’ll do your online digging, and you’ll have a picture in your mind on how it will go, but when it comes down to it, there are still questions to be answered. Luckily, the Black Hills offers an array of services to those considering being involved with foster care or adoption. From assessments and trainings to making connections for support, there’s a little place for everyone when it comes to helping children in need. words Jenna Carda

Start Here It’s a winding path to making a parenting plan for the future, and finding what’s best for your family and schedules. Start by talking to a professional. “Attending an information session will help parents learn a little bit more about the programs available,” said Andi Hemeyer, Family Services Supervisor at the Department of Social Services. “If being a foster parent or an adoptive parent isn’t the right fit for you right now, there are other opportunities to get connected. Supporting our communities’ current foster and adoptive parents – providing wraparound support and encouragement to them – is a great way to support the children in our community.”

Ready for Class? After you begin your paperwork, you’ll start your 30 hours of required training. This training will go through the ins and outs of trauma, how it affects children, and how to handle situations in a healthy and productive way.

NOTE: Training doesn’t end once your 30-hours is up! Many facilities will have supportive assistance for you every step of the way.

RESOURCES Bethany Christian Services 508 Columbus St, Rapid City 800-238-4269 Catholic Social Services 529 Kansas City St, Rapid City 605-348-6086 Children’s Home Society 1330 Jolly Ln, Rapid City 605-343-2811

BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

Department of Social Services 510 N. Cambell St, Rapid City 605-394-2525 Lutheran Social Services 2920 Sheridan Lake Rd, Rapid City 605-791-6700 *Note that not all facilities require a specific belief system to help. Ask questions and be informed to make the best decisions for your family.

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Next Up Once you decide your route, choose your path. Once deciding Foster Care/Adoption is the path right for you, you will need to find an agency that fits your family and apply – beginning the paperwork and background check process. TIPS: Be sure to have access to mounds of information. This will include things like address of living for the past years, financial history, employment history, schedules and more.

3 4

Home Sweet Home Whether you are walking down the path of foster care or adoption, you will need to participate in a home study. “So many people think that we will come in with a white glove,” said Vanessa Mader, the Assistant Branch Director at Bethany Christian Services. “But that’s not it at all. A home study doesn’t mean your home needs to be perfect. We simply check your home and abide by state safety standards – answering questions like: do you have a carbon monoxide detector? How about a fire alarm? There will also be a series of 3-5 interviews dependent on the facility you choose. These interviews will be individually based, marriage based, motivational reasoning, etc. Be aware that these home studies are very in depth and require a high level of transparency, and can be a lengthy process.

FAMILY AGES & STAGES

Adoption

MISCONCEPTIONS:

If you are heading in the direction of adoption, you will need to establish a few basics: will you adopt and infant or a child? Will you adopt domestically within the United States or internationally? Will you adopt a child from the foster care system? Once you have decided the best plan for your family, and paperwork, home studies, and training the search begins. Note: this process is not instant. Be patient! It can take months, sometimes years, to go through the adoption process to completion. But, once you’re there – being a child’s forever home will have been well worth the wait. Domestic Infant Adoption: Typically with domestic infant adoption places children ages birth to two years old. Once you have completed your home study and training, you will build a profile book – a scrapbook of sorts that tells your family’s story providing the expectant parents with information key to deciding the best fit for their child. Direct Placement Adoption: This type of adoption is when a family member or close friend adopts the child they know.

International Adoption: The children available for international adoptions are typically older and many have special needs, ranging from minor medical needs to major medical needs. Families will complete the home study process, immigration paperwork and a dossier, which is sent to the country for the purposes of matching a child with their family. Foster Care Adoption: These children are typically 7 years old or older that

are legally free in the court system. Choosing this route of adoption will require inquiring on listings of children and working with their case worker to find the perfect fit for your family. Whatever your family story is, foster care and adoption can have a place in anyone’s life. Your active commitment to helping Black Hills children reach their full potential with a safe and loving home is what makes communities stronger. Reach out, and get connected.

Foster Care Once your home study has passed, your training is finished, and your paperwork is finalized – the professional you’ve been working with will begin to inquire about children’s placement in your home. “Some people believe they don’t have a choice in the kinds of kids placed in their home,” said Steve Deming, the Operations Director for Community Based Services at Children’s Home Society of South Dakota. “We work collaboratively to place the right kinds of kids with you; if you don’t feel comfortable, the placement will not happen.” Foster Care Options Available Relative/ Kinship Care: The children in relative/kinship care are in legal and physical custody of the state and are able to be placed with a safe family member so they do not have to go into a foster care placement. Here, there is a choice if the relative would like to go through the training to become licensed for adoption if a permanent placement is needed. Non-related Kin: This refers to a person, typically a neighbor, family friend,

teacher, coach or other acquaintance, who is familiar with the child or his or her family and is willing to provide a safe home for the child until they can safely return home or another permanency option is determined. Traditional Foster Care: Individuals who meet the requirements and complete the training to become a foster parent can care for any child, teen or sibling group in state custody for an undetermined amount of

time. Foster parents provide care and support for children until a permanent plan is implemented. Therapeutic Care: Caring for youth of all different ages many which have social, emotional or behavioral issues and/or a specific medial issue that need care and attention. Respite Care: This supportive role allows foster parents to take a break – and allows the child a break, too while still keeping a consistent familiarity in the home.

It’s too expensive to adopt: “I remember looking at the costs and thinking ‘We’re not going to be able to adopt.’ But, people need to get information from each agency and really look at it. There are great ways to fundraise for it, adoption loans through banks, and awesome grants out there that families can apply for.” Nora Boesem, Director of Adoption and Pregnancy Services at Catholic Social Services and a foster and adoptive parent Open adoption is an invitation to co-parenting: “The premise of open adoption is that there is a free exchange of information, which can look different for each family. It can be a heavy involvement or simply pictures, letters, updates on a regular basis, usually monthly or at least annually.” Shirley Conrad, Social Worker at Lutheran Social Services I have to be married to be a foster parent: “DSS doesn’t discriminate against race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. You do have to be 18 and a US citizen in order to apply. There is a home study to ensure it is safe, 30 hours of training, and background checks. The process throughout other organizations is very similar.” Andi Hemeyer, Family Services Supervisor at the Department of Social Services I can’t love a kid, and then give them away: “If we can show a child what true, unconditional love looks like, even if it’s only for a year of that kiddo’s life, think of the impact we could have long term. It’s almost never an issue of the birth parent’s love for their child, it’s that the parent is dealing with their own demons and they are getting help. Our ultimate goal is to see reunification. Chelsie Ogaard, Foster Care Program Manager at Lutheran Social Services BHPARENT 43

AGES & STAGES INDEPENDENCE

words Sarah Lyons photo Jesse Brown Nelson

As a mom of kids ranging from 2 to 12, I realize how quickly time flies. I love watching them grow, try new things, and discover their passions. As a parent, it can be hard to let them struggle through, or even fail at, experiences outside their comfort zone. However, those experiences develop confidence and independence which is valuable in raising children. I want to raise self-sufficient adults and that means I need to start training them now. Here are some ideas to help kids naturally develop the independence needed to be confident and responsible adults.

The Preschool Years (ages 2-5)

Give opportunities During the preschool years, kids typically show an interest in trying self-care tasks themselves. It may be easier (and faster) to tie your child’s shoes, zip up their coat, make their lunch, and buckle their seatbelt but allowing your child to try these things on their own helps them become more independent. Consider starting the preparation for your day 15 minutes earlier to allow time for your child to try some things on their own. If frustration arises, remain calm and ask if they would like help. Instead of just completing the task for them, take time to teach them how to do it so they can try again tomorrow. Problem solve Problem solving skills begin to develop at a young age. Toddlers and preschoolers will often get frustrated when things don’t go their way and it may result in a temper tantrum. While this is age appropriate, parents can begin to help their children develop problem solving skills by calmly suggesting solutions to what is upsetting them. Have your child come up with ideas to solve the problem and when possible help them work through it on their own. Bonus tip for preschoolers Give your child choices whenever possible to help them develop independence and to give them a sense of control.

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TEACHING MY CHILD TO BE INDEPENDENT

Create a helper Toddlers and preschoolers love to follow their parents around the house; so why not have them help with the chores? They can help put clothes in the dryer, match socks, sweep the floor, or assist in any other task. They may not be able to do chores independently or have household responsibilities yet, but taking the extra time now lays the groundwork for the future.

The elementary school years (ages 6-11) Create a helper For elementary age kids, you can advance what was done in the preschool years. I will assign my child a chore like washing windows, vacuuming, or putting away dishes and since they have helped me with these tasks for years they no longer need my assistance. If they are reluctant to do chores, I make a list of things that need to be done and have them choose a few things they would like to do. When they are done they will have free time for electronics, outside play, or something they have been looking forward to. Chores teach kids to be independent and responsible. Give opportunities Give your child more opportunities to be independent as they mature. This may look different depending on your child’s age and maturity but some ideas may be ordering and paying for their food at a restaurant, riding their bike home from school, packing their own lunch, or trying a new extracurricular activity. Each opportunity, even a challenging one, helps your child become self-sufficient and develop more independence. Problem solve Elementary school kids will begin to face bigger problems that may include challenging friendships, struggles with schoolwork, or even bullying. Foster good communication with your child and help them come up with solutions they are comfortable with. Cheer them on when they are able to work through obstacles. Bonus tip for the elementary school years Do your best not to criticize your child’s efforts, but instead praise them for doing their best.

The teen years (ages 12-18) Create a helper Tweens and teens should be given even more household responsibilities as they are nearing adulthood. Take note of what skills it takes to run a household and begin to teach them these tasks. Cooking, yard work, babysitting, laundry, car care, and even a part time job fall into this category. The more responsibilities your child is comfortable while in your home will make the transition to living on their own smoother. Give opportunities There is a fine line between giving your child independence and keeping them safe in the teen years. As kids start to drive, spend more time with friends, and work outside the home parents have less control over their choices. Continue working on open communication and trust with your teen so that as they venture into the world, you both feel comfortable with the change. Problem solve One of the hardest things kids have to experience is the consequence for a poor choice. A parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first reaction may be to step in and â&#x20AC;&#x153;saveâ&#x20AC;? their child but, in the long run, this does not teach them anything. For example, if your child left their homework at home they will not receive credit for the work. The easy thing to do would be to run the assignment to the school, but chances are your child will forget again and most likely, on a larger assignment. As adults we have to manage our responsibilities and teens must also learn these lessons. If forgotten homework is repeatedly an issue, suggest packing up the night before. Sit down with your child and help them come up with solutions to problems and encourage them to do this without you and present their solution to you. Bonus tip for the teen years Set specific household rules so that your child has the opportunity to be independent but not out of your comfort zone as a parent. BHPARENT 45

Surviving & Thriving How to Make it on a Single-Income Budget words Christa Melnyk Hines Life is expensive. Life with kids is even more expensive. So how do some parents who rely on one income not only survive, but still find ways to create a happy, well-rounded life for their families? Evaluate your biggest expenses. According to Leah Ingram–a money saving expert and author of Suddenly Frugal: How to Live Happier and Healthier for Less–housing, transportation and education are the largest expenses facing today’s families. If you can reduce spending in one of those areas, you’ll live more comfortably on less, she advises. “For most Americans owning a home is the American dream. But for so many families with children, renting in a good school district makes more sense than buying a home in a lowerquality school district,” Leah says. Thinking about leaving your job to stay home with your children? First, create a spreadsheet that compares the costs of commuting and childcare versus how much you’ll save on those expenses once you’re down to one income. “Sometimes it actually makes more sense for both parents to continue to keep working,” she points out. According to Pew Research, 31 percent of families live on a single income. Although many families make the choice, others are forced into the position. “The economy is still hard and job loss is still happening,” says Beth Beseau, whose children are ages 8 and 5. “We’ve had to be flexible and willing to make adjustments in our lifestyle.” Control your inclinations. Beth, who is the primary breadwinner in her family, says her greatest challenge is controlling the urge to impulse buy. “When you’re making a purchase, you have to ask yourself if it’s a want or a need. If you can do without it, then 46 BLACKHILLSPARENT.COM

don’t buy it,” she advises. Slim down your food budget. Decide how often you can afford to dine out at restaurants as a family. Instead of hitting the drive-thru for coffee, make your own at home. And brown bag your lunches for work and school. Planning your family’s meals ahead of time can help you save money by curbing the need to pick up unhealthy fast food on the fly. Try planning your weekly meals around whatever specials your favorite grocer is offering that week. Or, head to a bulk store like Sam’s Club. Take an afternoon to prepare meals that you can stick in the

“When you’re making a purchase, you have to ask yourself if it’s a want or a need. If you can do without it, then don’t buy it,” freezer and pull out on nights when you don’t have time to cook. Emily Cowden and her husband Jason have five children, ages 10, 8, 6, 4, and 2. Cowden left her job as a registered dietitian to stay home with her children and home school. As a busy mom who is also committed to eating healthy on a budget, she scouts for local coupon offers and looks for sales at stores that offer healthy organic foods. She found that eliminating processed snacks and cereals was especially helpful. “This cuts out a lot of unnecessary foods and unnecessary spending, leaving room for more nutrientdense fruits, vegetables and proteins,” she says. Get creative. Many moms also turn to direct sales opportunities, like

Pampered Chef, Mary Kay and Thirty One, as ways to pad their income. “Just be sure that stocking up (on product) doesn’t sack all of your earnings,” Leah advises. “Also, you have to have the right personality to do direct sales. These women work hard, even if it’s at night and in people’s living rooms.” The Cowdens sell essential oils and other products through Young Living to help support their goal to live a healthy lifestyle. Rather than carrying an inventory, the couple works to educate others about the benefits of using essential oils properly. The extra income helps cover extracurricular activities for their children, nice dinners with friends and vacations. “This winter we’re actually planning a trip to Europe for just my husband and me,” Emily says. Beth says she sells items that she no longer needs, uses or wants. “The pocket cash has come in very handy,” she says. Other moms turn their skills into entrepreneurial ventures that they can run from home like freelance writing, photography or baking. Seek free or cheap family entertainment. Happy memories are usually born of what seem like mundane family activities. Go on bike rides together, visit area parks, get out the watercolors and have a paint party, play board games, make homemade pizzas together or check out movies or video games at the library. Also stay tuned for coupons and deals at area attractions for reduced price or free admissions. Still struggling? “Make a list. Put your values and priorities in order. Budget around that,” Cowden says. “If you find all of your income going towards things that don’t bring you joy, it’s time reevaluate and get creative.”

SINGLE INCOME FINANCE

Additional resources • Stock your freezer using the cookbook Fix, Freeze and Feast by Kati Neville and Lindsay Tkacsik. • Plan meals on shoestring budget. Visit 5DollarDinners.com. • Learn more from Leah Ingram at www. leahingram.com. BHPARENT 47

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MEDICAL COLUMN

Positives Outweigh the Negatives Taking precautions and learning proper form and techniques in athletics can save your student from a lifetime of disability. words Joshua Sole, M.D. Sports Medicine Director, Regional Health If you want your athletic teenager to be absolutely safe during high school, get them involved in bowling. Statistically, bowling is the safest school sport. Don’t tell that to Faith Yeargan, 17. She’s in varsity volleyball, basketball and track at Hill City High School, and wishes there were more sports. She has been sidelined at various times by sports injuries, but says she wouldn’t trade her sports for anything. When injured, she is eager to recover and get back on the court. This realm of athletic mindset is something I understand. I played sports in high school and college, and today I am the Sports Medicine Director at Regional Health. I work closely with athletic programs for South Dakota School of Mines, Black Hills State

University, Post 22 American Legion Baseball, the Spearfish Sasquatch Baseball Team and a number of other youth and high school athletic programs to help athletes stay healthy and reach their potential. If parents are concerned about letting their kids participate in sports, I tell them that the positives outweigh the negatives. Research shows that kids involved in sports develop lifelong teamwork skills and are less likely to get in trouble. However, it’s important that young athletes learn proper form and technique. It’s also important that coaches and trainers emphasize safety. There are ways to minimize injury in any sport.

Concussion

Concussion is a well-publicized issue, especially in college and

professional football. But in high school sports, concussion is relatively rare and not limited to football. You’re more likely to suffer a head injury on a bicycle than on a football field. I typically advise student athletes to take high doses of the Omega 3 dietary supplement. Based on military research, it’s been shown to help athletes bounce back quicker from a hit to the head or other sports injury. Also, more teams and coaches are doing a good job of implementing concussion protocols that sideline players until its safe for them to return to the field. One game or one practice is not worth a lifetime of disability.

Sprains, strains and PRICE Ligaments, muscles and joints are the body parts that are prone to stretching, straining, dislocation and pain. Oftentimes, the PRICE method is enough to help your body heal itself. Protection Avoid further injury by protecting the injured structures with devices such as ACE bandages, aluminum splints, slings, protective tape or over-the-counter braces. Rest The old saying about no pain, no gain is bad advice for most sports injuries. It’s better to rest the injured muscle or joint 24 to 48 hours. Ice An old standby in sports medicine, ice reduces pain and swelling. An ice pack or a bag of frozen peas for 10-minute intervals will provide relief.

Dr. Joshua Sole performs a routine check up to the feet and ankles joints of patient Faith Yeargan – a student athlete from Hills City.

Compression Wrap the injured area with an ACE bandage to prevent swelling. Make it snug, but not too tight. Elevation By elevating the injured area above your heart, there will be less blood pressure, which reduces throbbing pain and bruising. If pain persists, it’s time to see a physician, as soon as possible. A serious sports injury like ACL tear may require surgery. However, there are new and exciting treatment options such as Regenerative Orthopedics that are potential alternatives in addition to traditional surgical options. BHPARENT 49

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Opening its doors in October 2017, Fork Real is part of the One World Everybody Eats organization. As one of 60 cafés across the country that utilize a “pay what you can” business approach, the café ensures that guests are fed, even if they cannot pay for their meal. In exchange for their meal, patrons can pay its’ suggested cash value, help contribute additional funds towards another’s meal, or people can eat for free and volunteer their time to offset the costs. “We are a hand up, not a hand out,” says Rhonda Pearcy, founder of Fork Real. As a former teacher and avid volunteer in her church and community, she has seen first-hand the importance of making a difference beyond the surface level. The café feeds people past their obvious physical need, and mirrors the ministry of Jesus Christ, serving one another in love. They build connections through conversation and use opportunities to connect amidst community boundaries. No matter a person’s walk of life, Rhonda says there is a place for everyone at the café. They view food as the excuse for conversation and community and work hard to truly meet those who walk through their doors. In addition to many organizations in the community that help those in need, Rhonda hopes the café can be a bridge with those organizations and the people they are helping. When a patron volunteers in exchange for their meal, it provides training for life skills. Whether cooking, cleaning, or helping organize – these skills can help build a resume or a possible reference for future employment. Being a volunteer-supported organization, the café functioned well within the shared space and time they

had in the lower level of Creamery Mall. However, as attendance and opportunities continued to grow, the café began raising funds for phase two of their business plan: to pursue a larger, dedicated space to call their own. In addition to funds raised, an unexpected financial boost came in the form of a $50,000 grant from the “A Community Thrives” program. Through these funds, Fork Real Café has secured a new location at 324 St. Food insecurity is an issue in communities across the world. Working to fight this issue in Rapid City is Fork Real Community Café.

Joseph St., in the old Carini’s Italian Food building. Pearcy says this move provides opportunities on many levels. Instead of sharing space as they did at their old location, the café now has their own kitchen 24/7. They have expanded hours and are more easily accessible as a street level venue. Over time, they hope to add interior garden space, host community style meals, offer evening cooking classes and partner with community organizations for educational opportunities. Fork Real Community Café provides real food, real connection, and real conversation. “It is a ministry that we are doing, just in a different way.” BHPARENT 51

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For the first time ever, nonprofits and communities from across the state are uniting to celebrate generosity in the great state of South Dakota. Where did you first learn generosity? “My mother was my guiding light for what generosity looks like,” Matt Gassen, CEO of Feeding South Dakota, will tell you. So, too, will Jessica Benson of Rapid City, the 2018 Miss South Dakota Outstanding Teen. “My mom instilled a value of volunteerism in me at an early age. When I was eight years old, I was already signing up to volunteer at different events.” South Dakotans in the Black Hills, and all across the state, are taking their early memories of generosity and using them to encourage others to give back

Help a Nonprofit Win $1,000 A special contest for “Black Hills Parent” readers! One lucky reader will award a participating nonprofit $1000 from the South Dakota Prize Pool. Simply jump on Facebook or Twitter and tell us where you

first experienced generosity in your life. Be sure to tag South Dakota Gives and “Black Hills Parent” by October 30, 2018. One person will randomly selected to award $1000 to a participating nonprofit.

as part of South Dakota’s first-ever state-wide Day of Giving. South Dakota Day of Giving will be held on Giving Tuesday, November 27, 2018. Already, more than 250 nonprofits in the state have signed up to participate. There’s an added incentive for nonprofits to participate, and donors to give, on South Dakota Day of Giving. More than $100,000 in cash prizes from the South Dakota Prize Pool is being awarded to organizations. Already, nonprofits have won money for posting on social media about their early memories of generosity, and for coming up with the most creative ways to reach new donors on Giving Tuesday. The prize money has been donated by individuals, businesses and foundations who wish to encourage giving—in any amount—in South Dakota. The goal of South Dakota Day of Giving is not only to raise funds for nonprofits, but to increase the number of donors who give across the state and build the capacity of South Dakota nonprofits to reach more people. Research conducted by Campbell Rinker and “The Chronicle of Philanthropy” indicates that 22 percent of people who give on a day of giving are new donors to the nonprofit.

What’s a Giving Day? It’s one day. And it’s all day. It’s an “all hands on deck” approach to fundraising in which nonprofit staff members and volunteers work to raise as much money as humanly possible in a 24-hour period. Three Ways to Help Visit www. southdakotagives. org and make sure your favorite nonprofits are signed up to participate. Spread the word about South Dakota Day of Giving by following the day on social media.

Offer to help your favorite nonprofit raise money on South Dakota Day of Giving by calling your friends and encouraging them to make a gift online on Giving Tuesday, November 27, 2018.

Beth Massa, regional director for foundation relations at South Dakota Community Foundation and a volunteer advisory board member for South Dakota Day of Giving, says the day has the potential to really enhance the work of nonprofits across the state. “Whether you’re able to donate $5 or $1,000 or take an hour to volunteer for a nonprofit you care deeply about, every act of generosity on South Dakota Day of Giving will make a positive impact on our entire state.” Nonprofits can register to participate in South Dakota Day of Giving for free online at www.southdakotagives.org. BHPARENT 53

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UP-CYCLING SATURDAY ADVENTURES

Rapid City Recycling Center Up-Cycle Saturday Adventures

Learn and experience fun projects that can be created from reused and recycled items.

Learn and experience fun projects that can be created from reused and recycled items

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