GETTING UNSTUCK

Make Today “Start a Good Habit” Day

Today is the perfect day to break away from a bad habit and replace it with a good one by Michael Patterson

Our lives run on habits and routines. Most of them serve us quite well. But some habits— you know the ones I’m talking about—are counterproductive and need to be replaced by better ones. Today is a great day to start because you can take advantage of what is known as a “fresh start” event. Research shows that people are more successful at adopting healthy habits if they begin during a time of perceived change. As I write this, we are transitioning out of a long period of COVID-19 restrictions. We have gone through a stretch of time in which many of our normal routines were disrupted or significantly modified. Now we can begin a return to normal. Or, better yet, we can create a new normal for ourselves.

A fresh start event is a time of transition, when we feel that we can leave the past behind and step boldly into a new future. We feel liberated by these transition periods. It’s like getting a do-over, a mulligan. We may have messed up in the past, but today is a new day. We start with a clean slate. We get to reinvent ourselves and create our new normal. The post-pandemic transition isn’t the only fresh start that is available to you. Lots of other dates can serve as fresh start opportunities if you so desire. The beginning of the new year is a classic fresh start event. But you can decide that the start of a new week gives you a fresh start opportunity. Or a new day! “Hey! This is the first day of the rest of my life.

And I’m a new me.”

So, seize the moment! Make a fresh start today by establishing a new, healthy habit. Here’s a distillation of expert advice to help you in this endeavor:

Focus on a Good Replacement Habit:

Avoid the mistake of trying to get rid of your bad habits. Any attention given to the bad routine just reinforces the neural networks that trigger and support the maladaptive behavior. Instead, focus your mental energy on establishing a new and improved habit to replace the old one. Repeat and Rehearse: You strengthen new neural networks by repeatedly activating them. The more you purposely activate the new routine, the more automatic it becomes. Gradually, the new and improved routine will become more automatic than the bad one.

Be Creative with Immediate

Gratification: We hold onto bad habits because they provide us with immediate rewards. A new replacement habit must equal that reward. The problem with many good habits is that the tangible benefits occur sometime in the distant future. The trick, therefore, is to find a way to make the good new habit fun and rewarding right now! Like Mary Poppins said, “a spoonful of sugar…” If sweating in spandex at the gym sounds dreadful, put on your dancing shoes and boogie the night away.

Develop Commitment Devices:

Coerce yourself into doing the right thing. Make a public statement that you are going to adopt a new, healthy routine. Or up the ante a bit. Give your best friend $500 and tell them they can keep it if you fail to reach a specific goal, like losing five pounds in two months, or dancing like a lunatic at least once per week. Make Cue-Based Plans: Having a plan with specific strategies (wild dancing), tactics (dance club) and timelines (Thursdays at 8 p.m.) is hugely important. Make your plans even stronger by attaching a cue that kicks the plan into action. “When this happens, I’ll do that.” “When I finish washing the dinner dishes, I’ll dance a joyous jig for five minutes.” Chunking: How do you eat a Woolly Mammoth? One bite at a time. Break large goals into smaller, bite-sized chunks. If your goal is to lose 24 pound this year, set goals of two pounds per month, or a half a pound per week. Celebrate Small Wins: Each time you finish one bite, cross it off your “To Do” list and celebrate your achievement. Reward yourself. “Whoo hoo. Lost a half pound this week. I’m going dancing!” Find the Flow: A flow state occurs when you have the resources you need to meet an engaging and exciting challenge. An easy challenge is boring. An impossible challenge is disheartening. Wiggle Room: Research shows that we do a better job of sticking to a plan when we give ourselves a bit of wiggle room. If your goal is to exercise every day of the week at 10 a.m., give yourself some wiggle room. It’s okay if you exercise at 3 p.m. and skip a

day. Research shows that wiggle roomers actually get more exercise than strict by-the-bookers. Free Passes: Similar idea. Give yourself a break. Go easy. Be selfcompassionate. If you are trying to establish healthy eating habits, it isn’t the end of the world if you eat one jelly donut. Give yourself one or two “free passes” per week. Positive Peer Pressure: Hang out with people who behave the way you want to behave. Avoid people who indulge in the bad habits you want to escape. Be careful, however, not to hang out with peer groups that perform at a seemingly impossible level. Dance with crazy people, not pros.

Make Laziness Work for You:

The upside of laziness is that it encourages us to be efficient and find shortcuts. Habits and routines—if they promote positive behaviors—are great! They become automatic and our default settings. Embrace your positive habits and routines.

Embarrassingly Easy First

Steps: Often the first step is the hardest, so make the first step embarrassingly easy; so simple, so doable, that you will blush if you fail to take it. Shame yourself into action. Ramp It Up: Start easy. When the new habit can be performed with elegant style and grace, ramp it up a notch. Strive for constant, incremental improvement, a smidgen at a time.

Michael C. Patterson,

founder and CEO of MINDRAMP Consulting, writes extensively on the art and science of brain health and mental flourishing. He is an educator and consultant who previously managed AARP’s Staying Sharp brain health program and helped develop the field of creative aging.

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The Sunny Side of Aging

BY HELEN FLEDER, AGE 97

As we age, time seems to move too swiftly and relentlessly. Our mirror reflects the way gravity reshapes our face and body, and in time, denies us a once full and luxuriant head of hair. We find ourselves walking a bit more tenuously and less erect, stealing inches from our once proud posture and the perfect balance we could depend on for stability. However, when it comes to having regrets about aging, there is a silver lining. Although we will never regain our once-youthful appearance or enjoy the boundless energy that empowered our multitasking, we are no longer demanding of our expectations for achieving success, or feel the need to apologize for our shortcomings. We have learned to appreciate our admirable qualities that keep us young at heart. We have greater opportunities to socialize, and treasure times we can spend with friends and family who give purpose to our lives and help us remain ageless and unalterable.

We admit to being part of a generation that are unable to grasp the meaning of the words and cadence of current popular music. We may find the acceptable social mores of the youth distasteful. We are often confused and intimidated learning how to adjust to an electronic age when texting became the preferred method of communication, and the sound of a familiar voice responding to a phone call was replaced by digital messaging. Then again, we can proudly boast of our creative writing skills, cursive handwriting, proper grammar, and correct spelling, an essential part of our education but seriously lacking today. Our years of experience have also given us practical knowledge and wisdom, as beneficial as anything one can learn from social media! Although we have to admit that our hearing may need a boost, and our memory may be waning, we are now at an age when we have earned the luxury to spend time as we please. We feel free of major responsibilities, have the opportunity to learn new skills, and can engage in activities that may be challenging, but will enlighten our lives. There is no way to avoid aging, but we can focus on its advantages. With the passing of time we need to replace regrets with appreciation for our blessings and pride in our accomplishments. We lived and were guided by rules that taught us “There is no way to avoid aging, but we can focus the meaning of honor and respect, as well as how to write “thank you” notes when we received a gift. Perhaps that is why we are thought of as the on its advantages. With “Greatest Generation” and have so many reasons the passing of time we to be grateful! need to replace regrets with appreciation for our blessings and pride in our accomplishments. ”

Helen Fleder has been involved in the arts for more than 70 years as a ballet dancer, professional sculptor, and published author. In 2005, the Sarasota Community Foundation recognized her 60 years of volunteer service— teaching dance therapy and body movement to psychiatric patients, physically handicapped children, and the blind. More recently she has done art/collage with Alzheimer patients, worked with the Sarasota Arts Council, and helped develop art programs for a local high school. She lives in a retirement community in Sarasota, Florida.

REAL ESTATE Q & A FOR EVERY SEASON OF LIFE

BY REBECCA BOMANN OF SASH

QWe’re retired and want to find a one-story home with some garden space not too far from our doctors. The market seems crazy right now, and we don’t want to overpay for a home. Should we wait till it cools down, or are homes just going to keep going up in price?

AEven the most experienced real estate broker can’t predict with 100% certainty what will happen in the real estate market in coming months. However, industry experts who track market data are expecting a slight cool down in the next year from the current red-hot frenzy. We expect more housing inventory to come on the market, which will give buyers more homes to choose from, making competition less fierce. We also expect interest rates to slowly creep up. This may cool off the intense bidding wars. ? If you are not in a hurry as some buyers are, and have no urgent deadlines, you have the unique advantage of being able to take your time in your home search. It is a good idea to start to look now: attend open houses, set up auto-searches on real estate apps, and start to tour homes that interest you. This will help you to get savvy on home values and the features you like in a home. When you find “the one”, a good real estate broker can help you win the home with expert guidance. It’s never too early to start looking, and then you’ll know when you’re ready to make an offer.

QWhen we go to sell my mother’s home, will she have to leave with every buyer showing? Her mobility is very limited, and it takes her about ten minutes just to get to the car. I have heard she will have to leave for each showing. Can she stay in the home while buyers view it?

AYes, her real estate broker can share in the private showing instructions to buyer brokers that the seller will remain in the home during showings. This is a reasonable accommodation to request. That being said, when sellers make it easy for buyers to view their home, and allow many showings each day, this can increase the buyer pool and potential for a better sale outcome. Buyers feel awkward when the seller is present, like they are intruding. This can discourage buyer interest. So that your mother doesn’t have to endure the frequent daily interruptions of buyer showings, and to lower her stress, another option is to have her stay elsewhere during the first week or two of her home’s listing. This way, her home can stay “show-ready” all hours of the day, and she won’t have strangers coming and DO YOU HAVE A REAL ESTATE QUESTION FOR US? SEND IT TO: QUESTIONS@SASHREALTY.COM going around her. This has the potential to create thousands more in her final sale price. If she prefers to stay home, however, this is definitely her choice, and her right to request. Good luck! Rebecca Bomann is Founder and CEO of SASH Services, and Designated Broker of SASH Realty. With a background in social work and elder care, Rebecca created SASH to provide real estate services tailored for clients’ unique needs. Since 2005, SASH has served clients of all ages, with specialized home sale services for older adults and their families.