THE AMPHIBIANS (excerpt) by Dan Caffrey

Page 1

22 . The ne t da . A long t pper are bin es, the kind o get at Target has been mo ed into the clearing and filled ith ater. Empt t na fish cans scattered abo t. The gashes on the creat re s sides ha e been bandaged. Its breathing is more labored than before. Simone sits ne t to the creat re ith her head on its side, rising ith its ribs e er time it inhales. IM

E

Saw this in an old movie once. Creat re breathes. Simone listens. IM E Always wanted to do it myself. But never had someone big enough. Creat re breathes. Simone listens. IM E Had a St. Bernard when I was like 13. I d try it with him, but my head was too heavy and he couldn t breathe. Creat re breathes. Simone listens. IM E His name was Space Jam. Some dumb cartoon from when my mom was a kid. Creat re breathes. Simone listens. IM E He got run over by my neighbor s Cadillac on Halloween. Creat re breathes. Simone half-listens. IM E No, fuck that. He got run over by my neighbor. Kevin Murphy s dad. Kevin s my age and has this 2-year-old brother named Lonnie who s the last kid in our neighborhood to be born. So their family gets treated like royalty. The dad is this big fucking fat guy who wears a faded wife-beater


23 with a picture of a fish on it. Bathing suit. Flip-flops. Hat repping the Navy. That s how all Florida dads look. They can be fat or skinny, but they ve all got the Navy hat and the fish shirt. Some of em have mustaches. Faces so tan and leathery, you just know they re gonna get skin cancer. Creat re breathes. IM

E

I hope Kevin s dad does get skin cancer. Creat re breathes. IM E I told Bryn that and she got all pissy like she always does when I talk about morbid stuff. But it s like, most people who get skin cancer live. I don t want him to die or anything. And even if I did, that seems about right. Fucker killed my dog. Why shouldn t cancer kill him? She sits p, no longer listening. IM E Know what the vet told us? That if it wasn t a Cadillac, Space Jam might ve survived. It was this old-ass vehicle from the stone age, back when everyone was racist and listened to Jerry Lee Lewis. Really big with all these stupid fins on it. Like, everything was sharp on that car for no reason. The fins were what really hurt Space Jam. I mean, yeah, it was my fault for leaving the sliding door open, but if Kevin s dad wasn t obsessed with that stupid fucking car and just drove a Prius or a Bolt or a Volt or something hybrid or electric like we re all s pposed to, Space Jam might be alive today. He d be old, but he d be alive. She lies back do n on the creat re s side. IM E One time, I told my mom all that at dinner and she said I couldn t say that sorta stuff. It pissed me off. But it s also weird cu I wish I wish my mom still talked to me like that. Creat re breathes. IM I wish my mom still talked to me at all.

E


24 Creat re breathes. IM

E

IM

E

I wish she still knew how to take care of me. Creat re breathes.

I dunno. Creat re breathes. Simone listens. IM E Fucking Kevin s fat fucking dad. Space Jam deserves to be alive way more than that asshole. Why did everyone side with him? Cu it was dark out? Cu I left the door open? Cu he s a human and Space Jam was a dog? Cu that s bullshit. Humans fuck shit up. We ruin everything. Creat re b rps, jostling Simone s head. IM

E

IM

E

Ow! She la ghs.

You did that on purpose. Creat re gr nts and goes back to breathing. Simone p ts her head back on its side. IM

E

IM

E

I like talking to you. Creat re breathes. Simone listens.

You get enough water? Creat re sighs contentedl .


25 IM

E

I ll take that as a yes. Creat re breathes. Simone closes her e es. IM

E

Let s stay like this forever. Creat re breathes. Simone opens her e es. IM E That s something you d say to your boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever you re in love with. But I like saying it to you. I hope that s not creepy. She lifts her head and looks into the creat re s e es. IM

E

IM

E

Is that creepy? Creat re gr nts.

I didn t think so. She p ts her head back do n on the creat re s side. IM We re not creepy. You and me. Not creepy at all.

E

Creat re breathes. Simone listens. Br n enters ith her backpack. B Where were you? IM

E

Bryn! Simone r ns to Br n and h gs her the kind of o ereager embrace from someone ho s spent the entire da talking to their pet.


26 IM E You won t belie e all the cool stuff she s started doing. Grunting and yawning and actually listening to me. You left your phone in the tree, right? B (p shing a a Simone) Where. Were you. IM E Here! Duh. We had a great day, full of playing and talking and eating like an entire pyramid s worth of tuna cans. You know Mickey Storno? The bagboy at Publix? He gave me the hookup. I told him it was for my cat. I don t even ha e a cat! B So you stole it? IM

E

No, no, no, Mickey hooked me p. B So Mickey stole it. IM E He said any time I needed tuna, I just had to ask. Then he smiled at me, but his Invisalign popped out cu it always pops out when he smiles cu it s not fitted right and I felt kinda bad about the whole thing. Mickey s sooo awkward. But sweet. And thanks to him, our girl gets to eat for free. You want some? You can spread it on a Saltine. It s our new fave snack. Right, girl? Creat re gr nts. IM

E

See?? She understands me! B You weren t in Biology. IM E I was gonna go after coming here this morning, but we were having too much fun. What d I miss?


27 B Um, our science-fair project for one. IM

E

Oh shit. B Yeah. IM

E

Sorry. I got wrapped up. B And you think that s okay? IM E Oh, come on. The science fair sucks ass. That Russian girl will probably win again. Li or Eli abetha or whatever her name is. B Yeli aveta. IM

E

Whatever. Did she win? B Of course she won! That s not the point. I know it s fun coming out here, but you can t just disconnect from everything. Especially when other people / are counting on you. IM Fine, fine, fine. I won t miss any more projects.

E

B Or classes or SAT Prep or anything. You need to have options / when the school year ends. IM Okay! You re right.

E


28 B Cu if I have to leave my phone in that stupid tree, the least you can do is IM

Wait, what?

E

I said you re right. B Just like that? IM E It s kinda nice to have someone talk to me all stern about my future. I ve been missing that. B Okay. I ll um keep doing it, then. IM

E

Great. Anything else from class? B Actually, yeah. Ms. Kotter showed us this Bay News 9 clip. The water s breaching the seawall over in Holiday. IM

E

Did anyone die? B No. But the water got all the way to Sun Toyota before it stopped. IM E So a buncha used-car salesmen lose their jobs. We re still safe in our little copse of woods. B Copse. Good word. IM E I read it in that rabbit book from Ms. Dukeman s class. B The bloody one?


29 IM

E

Yeah. The bloody bunnies. Heh. B Heh. Creat re breathes. B You got a name for her yet? IM

E

I m working on it. B Cu I ve got one. IM

E

Let s hear it. B How about Serpentine. IM

E

That sounds like a stripper. B And then we could call her Teeny for short. IM

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Ew, no! B I thought it was pretty good. IM E Pretty good won t cut it. It needs to be perfect. And I m sorry, but we can do waaay better than Serpentine. Now come here. I wanna show you something.


30 Br n joins her and the creat re. Simone p ts her head back on the creat re s side and listens. IM

E

Try it. Br n p ts her head on the creat re s side. IM

E

Rise. Listen. Creat re breathes. It so nds painf l. B It s so relaxing. IM

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I knew you d like it. The contin e listening to the creat re breathing, reciting the ro tine together. IM

EA DB

Rise. Listen. Rise. Listen. Creat re b rps again, jostling their heads. The la gh. IM

E

She does that. Simone and Br n p t their ears back to the creat re s side. IM Rise. Listen. Rise Creat re breathes. The listen.

EA DB


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