Excerpt “The Journey” from Fandango for Butterflies (and Coyotes) by Andrea Thome
The sympathetic vibrations grow– and encompass them all. They go into memory space: fragments of their journeys across the border. Like a dream. They are traveling again, in their minds. MARIPOSA I see myself with a little red t-shirt that I brought, some jeans, a grey sweatshirt that a friend had given me because she says to me, “it’s cold, you can’t go like that.” ROGELIO I asked family members who had already come, “How do I prepare to go there? What should I do? How?” MARIPOSA You couldn’t bring anything. Nothing, nothing. I remember that my mother only gave me a, a thread… one of those little threads with a virgin, and a tiny butterfly she drew– she didn’t want me to bring a chain so I wouldn’t call attention– And she says– “it’ll protect you.” ROGELIO The first time I crossed, to be honest– well when I called my family, I felt like crying, because, see, I had never left Honduras before, and I said, “What did I come for?” like, “What did I come for? It would have been better to stay there, even if I was poor.” And that was just in, in Guatemala, imagine, in Guatemala! (laughs) I felt like strange having left my country. MARIPOSA I felt so much fear that to come to this country, I cut off all my hair. So they would mistake me for a boy. I was so scared. When I left to come here it was a Tuesday. On Sunday I went to my school friend’s house and I told her, “your mom cuts hair? Can she cut mine because I’m going to New York, and I’m scared.” Because I had hair down to here. And she says, “yes, of course.” And they cut off all my hair and I put on a hat… In my subconscious, I was trying to pretend I was a boy. JOHAN The road is hard.