Tiger Beat (excerpt) A play with music by Kaela Mei-Shing Garvin kaelamgarvin@gmail.com www.kaelameishinggarvin.com
CHARACTERS Ashley,18ish. Lead singer of Girls Next Door. White with a deep spray tan. Queer. Singing role. Poppy,18ish. Second fiddle to Ashley in Girls Next Door, obsessed with chemistry, white. Singing role. Tess, 18ish, Asian American, opinionated, bright-eyed, optimistic. Usually in the background of GND. Singing role. Vivian,Tess’s sister and manager. Asian American. Tough cookie. Mr. Johansson, executive for the Network. White. Actor also plays Choreographer, Reporter(s), Emcee et al JP,the biggest male pop star to get a start on the Network. White. Singing role. Setting 2003 pop music. Beyonce just went solo. Last year Britney released “ Toxic” and Christina released S tripped. H ilary Duff just dropped “So Yesterday.” Jersey skirts, trucker hats, cropped cargos, navels abound. On Music Music should be slumber-party-loud throughout. Synopsis Tiger Beat follows the Girls Next Door, a pop group rising to fame in 2003 pop music. As the band juggles choreography, awards shows, and crushes on teen heartthrobs, Asian American singer/songwriter Tess navigates her identity within the framework of the entertainment industry. This play with music is a coming of age story about pop stardom, questionable 2003 fashion choices, and finding one's identity through art. This excerpt comes from near the end of the play. The Girls Next Door are opening a national tour for teen pop icon JP under their shared label, The Network, which privileges its male artists with contracts and opportunities. Both JP and the Girls Next Door are nominated for Artist of the Year at the Video Awards. JP and Asian American singer/songwriter Tess have embarked upon a romantic relationship, to the dismay of Tess’ sister/manager Vivian. As the tour ramps up, all the artists rely on the Network-provided white pills which give them energy. After being photographed on a drunken spree, the Girls Next Door are put on curfew as they visit Tess and Vivian’s hometown, Columbus.
THE HOTEL Vivian ushers in the Girls Next Door, still bedraggled from partying.
VIVIAN I am beyond mortified. Going out to bars? Drinking in public? Take a good look at these photographs. Is this how you want your families to see you? Your fans? TESS Oh my god VIVIAN There are a lot of people who are gonna be disappointed here. You look like drunken degenerates. ASHLEY Where did you get these VIVIAN You’re on a national television show. People are going to sell pictures of you. TESS But who took them? POPPY I didn’t notice anybody. VIVIAN Somebody certainly noticed you. ASHLEY Those are gonna be printed? TESS I thought we were okay. I thought we were under the radar. POPPY So we were drunk, so what. Eighteen year olds get drunk all the time. VIVIAN Not on the cover of T iger Beat. You might want to break ties with whoever’s in these pictures, Ashley. I don’t mind, I think it’s great. But I’m not sure that America’s ready for its sweethearts to ASHLEY Those photos can’t go out. I can’t expose Nina like that. VIVIAN Uncle J was the one who sent these to me. He bought them so they wouldn’t see publication.
He wanted me to have a very stern conversation with you, but that’s not how I was raised. TESS Oh no. Vivian, no. VIVIAN You three will be under strict surveillance for the rest of the tour. No going out, no drinking. No girls, Ashley. No boys for either of you. POPPY So girls are okay? VIVIAN No romantic overtures. Whatsoever. POPPY What if it’s just sexual? VIVIAN I don’t think you understand the severity of this situation. Your brand is built on the foundation of you three being wholesome, American teenage role models. But in these photos? You are an embarrassment to everything the Network stands for. JP’s bodyguards will be checking that you girls are in your rooms directly after shows each night. Ten PM if possible. POPPY I wanna die. VIVIAN Don’t be dramatic. POPPY I actually want to be deceased and buried in the ground and have the dirt consume me as I decompose. Ten PM? I’m a Legal aDult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VIVIAN We’re already fighting hard to get you girls the compensation you deserve. If you don’t behave ASHLEY We shouldn’t have to behave t o be compensated VIVIAN The Network doesn’t see it that way and frankly neither do I. You don’t uphold your end of the contract? They can disregard theirs. TESS What about JP?
VIVIAN The Network wasn’t concerned about JP in these photos. TESS This isn’t fair. VIVIAN Neither is this industry. Neither is life. Everybody to your rooms. Tess, I’ll be right back to discuss that interview. Stay put. Vivian, Ashley, and Poppy leave, grumbling. JP [offstage] It’s ya boy JP! Tess opens the door. TESS Keep your voice down. Somebody took pictures while we were out, we have a curfew now. JP Very funny. TESS I’m not joking. Some photographer got shots where Ashley’s kissing a girl, Poppy’s clearly wasted, and I’m housing a beer, glow going strong. Don’t worry, you look very cool in them. JP Nobody told me about this. How come nobody told me that TESS You better leave, I don’t want Vivian getting on my case any more. Apparently nobody cares about your delinquency, only ours. Here, I made you that demo. I’ll see you in the morning. Tess hands JP a cassette. Their fingers brush. JP I don’t want to have to keep hiding this, Tess. I wanna take you to the video awards. TESS But we’re nominated against each other. JP So? It’ll add to the drama. We can walk the red carpet together, sit together, all of it. TESS I don’t think Uncle J will let you do that. You have to uphold your end of your contract.
JP I’m an adult and so are you. Do you want to go with me? TESS If it was up to me it wouldn’t be a question. It’s everyone else that I worry about. JP You can’t live your life for anyone else. TESS I just, I know what your fans are like. They’re gonna eat me alive. JP We can keep hiding if you want. But eventually, sometime soon, I want to show you off. They kiss. They kiss some more. Vivian walks in. VIVIAN Oh my god. TESS Oh my god JP Oh my god TESS You could have at least KNOCKED VIVIAN You’re under curfew! As of less than five minutes ago! I said I was coming right back! TESS I didn’t leave my room. VIVIAN I said no boys. No romantic-- no boys! JP I’m sorry I should have said something or asked you or something TESS Asked h er ? VIVIAN So this has been like This whole time on tour??
TESS Vivian I am an ADULT okay I am EIGHTEEN and I can make DECISIONS JP This is my fault. I should have come to you sooner. VIVIAN If Tess wants to go against the Network’s explicit wishes yet again she’s free to do so. TESS I wasn’t like planning to do this, it just happened. JP They’re gonna have to learn to live with it. VIVIAN Excuse me? JP I’m gonna take Tess to the Network video awards. VIVIAN And you’re okay with this Tess? It’s a lot of pressure on you. I want to be sure you can handle it. TESS Oh my god Vivian I just said I’m Eighteen Okay?! I can make my own choices. VIVIAN Mom left me in charge of you and I need to make sure you’re good TESS Please don’t pull the Mom card now Vivian VIVIAN Well, when’s a good time? Should I come back when you’re acting responsibly? TESS You are so so embarrassing me right now! I want to go with JP to the awards, okay? I really like him and JP You really like me? TESS Oh Um VIVIAN This is actually a waking nightmare for me, do you realize that?
It’s fine. Go with JP to the awards. Don’t come running to me when they tear you apart. We’re going to visit Mom’s house tomorrow morning. TESS Our house. VIVIAN We can talk about your interview etiquette then. I’m leaving the lobby at nine. Don’t be late. And JP? Get out of my sister’s room. COLUMBUS Vivian and Tess sit in their car in front of a dilapidated house, listening to the news on the radio. REPORTER General Tommy Franks, the US commander of allied forces, remarked that the bombing of the Republican Guards in Baghdad is going well. "They have been hit and they continue to be hit at points and places and times that make sense to us," / he said. "The effect has been very positive for us." TESS Can you turn that off? I don’t want to hear it. I try so hard to convince everyone that I’m American Enough. But then when I hear that? bombing out a city for-- for what? I don’t need people to think I’m American if it means doing that. VIVIAN You don’t understand the situation. They’re protecting our country. TESS I feel safe. I feel fine without bombing anybody else. VIVIAN You don’t get it. TESS No, you just don’t agree with me. They look at the house. It’s gross. TESS We could paint the house? VIVIAN It’s not cosmetic, it’s falling apart. Mom said we should sell. TESS It’s home.
VIVIAN We should follow our mom’s wishes. Tess, I really think you ought to keep your cool next time you do an interview. You can’t control how other people act. You can only control yourself. TESS How come you never defend me, huh? I sing less, I dance in the background, everyone always asks these invasive questions VIVIAN You wouldn’t have to dance in the background if you wore the Vivian offers the costume the Network has sent: a pan-Asian kimono/cheongsam/hanbok hybrid garment complete with cherry blossoms and the whole nine yards. TESS Why do you keep pushing that on me? VIVIAN I manage the whole band. If they wanted Ashley to wear something I’d do the same. TESS You’re not playing favorites if I’m treated differently. I want you to fight for me. VIVIAN What about the girls like us, the ones you talked about in your interview? They’re gonna watch the show and they’re gonna see an Asian girl in the background. TESS Imagine if they see me in the foreground. Wearing that. VIVIAN So it’s not accurate. So what. You don’t dress onstage like you do in real life. TESS And nobody in the world dresses like that. VIVIAN Lucy Liu just did it in Charlie’s Angels. TESS And that didn’t make you feel weird? VIVIAN I thought it was cute
TESS If they’d put Ashley in a crop top and cargos I wanna be in a crop top and cargos. VIVIAN You have a responsibility when you’re onstage. TESS I don’t believe in that. VIVIAN To at least not wear cargos! Those choices won’t age well. TESS And this bullshit will? VIVIAN This is a hard business you’re in. If you want to succeed you need a harder shell. TESS This is just like the shit Mom used to do. VIVIAN Now who’s pulling the mom card? TESS She would always say you have to do better than them. Twice as good, twice as fast. I just want to do as much work as everyone else and have the same chances as everyone else! VIVIAN Then you’re in the wrong industry, honey. TESS Why do you even want me to do this? Is it the money? VIVIAN Of course it’s the fucking money, Tess! TESS Wow. Okay. VIVIAN Don’t judge me, you little shit. TESS Fuck you! Tess throws the garment bag out the car window.
VIVIAN 你怎么敢! 没有大，没有小!!!!!!!!!! [Nǐ zěnme gǎn! Méiyǒu dà, méiyǒu xiǎo!!!!!!!!!!!! ( How dare you! Respect your elders!!!!!!!!!)] TESS Talk so I can fucking understand you! VIVIAN 坏蛋!! 你为什么不听? [Huai dan!!! Nǐ wèishéme bù tīng? (S poiled egg! Why don’t you listen to me?)] TESS Yin wei… / Yin wei… [Because… / because …] VIVIAN You don’t know anything, Teresa. You have no idea what I went through. What Mom went through. The same kids who were making fun of you on the playground, their parents were giving her shit in the grocery store, at work. And it wasn’t just teasing and slurs or whatever. People were killed around here, clubbed with baseball bats, their killers walking free. We didn’t go out, except to school and work. We had nothing for such a long time. And then you came along, and everything you did was special. That TV you always talk about, the one we watched the Video Awards on? Mom bought that for you when we couldn’t afford it. She bought cable for you when we couldn’t afford it and then she got sick and we couldn’t afford it and her cancer came back and we still couldn’t afford it and now she’s gone and you want to fight the Network over a dress? You have s o much opportunity that I never had and she never had and you want to keep standing in the background? A dress is just a dress, and money is just money, until you don’t have any, and we don’t fucking have any. You owe it to her. TESS Maybe. VIVIAN You can be really ungrateful sometimes. I don’t remember a time you said thank you to her. For anything. You can be a self-centered, self-righteous bitch and it’s hard to be in the room with you. TESS I’m sorry. VIVIAN I don’t want an apology, I want you to fucking change! Look at your patterns of behavior and do something differently! Don’t you have anything to say? Tess looks at the house TESS I really miss Mom. VIVIAN
Me too. I miss having someone else to keep you in line I miss having her all to myself I miss her cooking, the way she kept this house running. The smell of rice and mothballs and watered-down soap. But even if we went in there now it wouldn’t smell like her. She would be so embarrassed right now TESS Of me? VIVIAN Of us. Fighting. Where are you going? Tess gets out of the car and picks up the dress. TESS I do always talk about that TV Mom bought. A million girls singing on it, and none of them looked like us, and if they did they were always wearing some version of this dress. I don’t want to be defined by how someone else sees me. I want to do it myself. Plus I think this would look really bad on Ashley and Poppy. I’ll still be up there. I can call Uncle J tomorrow, send this back. VIVIAN That’s my job. To let him know. I’ll call Uncle J tomorrow. TESS I think you’re right, Viv. We should sell the house. VIVIAN Great. My consolation prize. TESS No, no. You know what she wanted. You knew her best. Hey Viv? VIVIAN Hey what. TESS 谢谢大姐. 我爱你. [Thank you big sister. I love you.] VIVIAN Oh, fuck off. . 我也爱你, 妹妹 [I love you too, little sister.]