Celebrating Love
Investing in a relationship: Are you a bull or a bear
Change is on its way: How whales, beaches, energy and people will fare with a new administration
Stop the insanity! If you’re not tipped, should you be exempt from leaving one?
WESTPORT $7,950,000
WYNDFIELD - a magnificent saltwater farm!
Curated gardens, orchards, two-bedroom guest house, studio . . . Spectacular main home offers the historic charm of a gracious farmhouse, yet rivals any new construction home with quality, attention to detail, and modern conveniences. Pastures cascade to the water's edge with a dock on the Acoaxet branch of the Westport River. Contact Will Milbury at 508.525.5200.
SOUTH DARTMOUTH $929,000
Set on .87 acre, this three-bedroom, 2.5 bath offers 3,000+ square feet of living space with spacious patio and covered deck, two-car attached garage . . . All this and just a few minutes drive to Padanaram Village with it's shops, New Bedford Yacht Club, restaurants and the white sandy beaches. Contact Sarah Meehan at 508.685.8926
LITTLE COMPTON
$22,500,000
Bayberry Farm - an unparalleled 108-acre waterfront estate. Private, mile-long laneway meanders through pristine woodlands, past a picturesque lily pond and open pasture to this substantial and brilliantly designed home, set on high presiding over the Sakonnet Passage and ocean beyond.
Contact Will Milbury at 508.525.5200.
SOUTH DARTMOUTH $1,695,000
Handsome Colonial on 1.84 acres set on high, overlooking the quarry pond in desirable Wild Pepper Farms. Over 5,600 square feet of living space with five bedrooms, three full and one-half baths, three-car attached garage, deck and terrace with steps that lead to the water’s edge.
Contact Will Milbury at 508.525.5200.
508.997.7400
508.636.2400
FALMOUTH $3,150,000
Updated 5BD Greek Revival in the heart of Falmouth Village.
WAREHAM $1,295,000
Dreamy beach retreat! Rare opportunity to experience stunning sunset views over the water.
NORTH DARTMOUTH $725,000
Updated colonial offers a spacious and inviting floor plan with over 2,200 square feet.
ORLEANS $2,995,000
Iconic waterfront setting, showcasing unparalleled 270-degree vistas of Pleasant Bay.
SOUTH BOSTON $1,425,000
Indulge in the epitome of luxury with this remarkable penthouse in the Allele.
WAREHAM $879,000
Escape to tranquility in this charming yearround cottage overlooking Sunset Cove.
MATTAPOISETT $715,000
Adorable Cape in the heart of Mattapoisett Village.
FREETOWN $730,000 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath Colonial on 1.61 acres.
FAIRHAVEN $624,900
Ideal home in tranquil setting offering a wealth of desirable features.
10
ELEVATE
Ever ask why your taxes are out of sight? How about the treatment you’ve received from government employees at a host of locations and in different situations? Yes, we all experience condescension and rudeness, which is unjustified. Maybe it’s time to look at how public servants are treating those supporting them and find a way to equalize the imbalance of power.
20
IMPRESSIONS
It’s the holiday for lovers and time to play kissy-face, uh-huh, uh huh!
24
PROPERTY
Marion’s Planting Island offers the most fascinating opportunity for those shopping for a home; don’t pass on this prestigious property with a positive vibe.
30
INTIMACY
“I know what girls want…I thought!” The skinny on what they say and what they do; get the inside track on relationships in 2025.
33
PERSONAL
Want to make better hiring decisions? Find the best partner to match with; or maybe find out what your chances are in making a friend. If so, pick up a copy of Colorful Personalities: Discover Your Personality Type Through The Power Of Colors by George J. Boelcke, CCP. It is a great tool you will use repeatedly.
TRAVEL
Besides a ski vacation in Aspen or a summer retreat to St. Barts, consider a winter adventure to Long Island and enjoy the best of everything with a tremendous value-added experience.
38
LIVING WELL
Diagnosing Fear. America’s youth are experiencing an unusually high rate of various cancers; we take a serious look at what could be causing the rise and what preventable measures should be considered.
CULTURE
The legendary Swan Lake is planned for Boston—it’s an event that shouldn’t be missed.
43 TABLE
Tip Crazy: the public is being worn thin, both financially and with their patience. Who is supposed to be responsible for paying workers?
48 NEWS & VIEWS
Surprises are heading this way. Our feature, “News & Views,” looks at whales, ferries, and turbines. The fruition of a bad bet made by a city at a crossroads is coming soon.
Stop Feeding The Beast
It was interesting. On a frigid and gray afternoon, we joined together for an afternoon tea and coffee chat so we might ignite a discussion of why we are so divided as a nation, how we are functioning economically, and predict what the future holds. But, more specifically, we were inclined to examine news sources, all of them, including what is referenced as the ‘Legacy News,’ thin and local gossip papers, plus regional broadcasting and
print media. Of course, we also looked at social media, which reaches new generations (who unfortunately rely on its content—unconditionally) and believe the information they are served is accurate even though it is peppered with unverified claims coupled with entertainment. With these themes and messages from every corner of the political, social, and cultural spectrum, it is impossible to filter truth from propaganda, leaving millions to post misinterpreted and unverified stories that snowball into farfetched inaccuracies.
We had to omit the word ‘reputable’ from our searches since few—if any, news sources are free of contamination by a host of self-serving ideologies corporate entities embed into everything the public sees, hears, or reads.
As far as common sense, it has nearly disappeared from the vernacular and many minds. Who is to blame?
Considering that, as a society, taking advantage of situations has become the norm, those implicit in creating false narratives with others unwilling
to separate fact from fiction lead to the avoidance of confrontation by using a long list of techniques that would typically expose the half-truth found in reporting.
As a collective, we agreed there are many examples of media abuse used by those in power, so they might cover their tracks. Using premeditation, i.e., ‘useful ignorance’ or an expression of ‘plausible deniability,’ it is clear the need to eliminate the repertoire used by those supposedly in positions of trust.
protections government workers enjoyed.
One of our team members humorously remarked, “When I grew up, public employees drove Fords and Chevys; now they tool around in Porsches and Range Rovers.”
No one argues about scale and income potential, but the extraordinary heights of salaries over the last decade are putting significant pressure on the middle class. Another issue is the ‘loophole’ that allows government workers to accumulate vast wealth by working overtime, which could be
QUESTIONABLE PRACTICES
An example of questionable practices, legal and approved, is that of civil servants and overtime pay. There is a plethora of communities that allow some to enrich themselves while taking advantage of taxpayers. Not long ago, first responders, which we will highlight in a moment, and other local, regional, and national employees took government jobs, not because they would make them rich, but because these positions offered job security. Most would work their entire lives contributing to the betterment of the community or state; they consistently showed they could be trusted, and their integrity and judgment were solid.
However, somewhere along the line, the attitude of remaining in a caste position based on income became unpopular or viewed as unfair; over time, employees believed they should have the same opportunities the private sector enjoyed, even though these types of jobs had none of the
adjusted by adding jobs to the roster.
A recent story made headlines about a Massachusetts State Police employee who earned more than half a million dollars through the combination of his salary and extensive overtime pay last year. Various news agencies reported that “State Police Detective Captain Thomas McCarthy earned $349,815 in overtime pay in 2024, boosting his total salary to $584,072, according to state Comptroller records.”
The State Police claim that most of his overtime compensation was from time spent at Boston’s Logan International Airport during construction; while uncertain, directing traffic may have been part of the detail. Additionally, it was recorded that four other troopers made it to the top 10 overtime-compensated list in 2024. Obviously, it is not a bad gig if you can find it, and if it is available, who wouldn’t show a willingness to apply themselves?
However, this isn’t the Massachusetts State Police’s first rodeo. The organization
has been involved in several recent controversies, including a previous overtime scandal, yet nothing seems to move the public needle. We are not singling out the police. This type of extraordinary compensation has been taking place for decades. Overtime pay and retirement benefits have allowed the ‘Joe Publics’ of many communities to enter the 1 percent club, even when people despise and complain relentlessly about the elitist category.
Salaries have gotten so out of control that some are asking UMASS to cut salaries before they enact a tuition increase. It is worth investigating what employees under the State’s educational umbrella are hauling in, considering the term ‘Taxachusetts’ is making a comeback.
As a comparison, corporations have been using the excuse of attracting the best talent for decades to justify overpaying their executives, claiming they must heavily compensate to reach those with the highest level of expertise, yet we see hundreds of companies fail even with the oversight of so-called geniuses.
In the public space, this argument has also been tested. Everyone is familiar with nationwide searches to fill positions with the most qualified candidates. It’s too bad that, in a significant number of instances, those who apply are being bluffed. People are duped into thinking it is a fair process, most of whom need a job and invest an inordinate amount of time and resources in its pursuit, eventually learning the person most qualified was an already employed worker within the ‘establishment.’
Naturally, the accolades as to why they were the best candidate chosen from so close to home, includes their unique abilities and specialized perspective of the position.
In some cases, honesty and integrity have been replaced by selfish financial advancement at the cost of the public. Those most affected are the taxpayers that complain to their representatives who have had a century or more to clean house, but nothing changes except the faces and excuses.
Until a cap on overtime for state and local employees is enacted, don’t expect your salary to keep pace with that of the public servants, who, for all intents and purposes, are no longer servants; that title has been reassigned to you. H
“When I grew up, public employees drove Fords and Chevys; now they tool around in Porsches and Range Rovers.”
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The Mathew J. Arruda Group
We had a very unique property in Downtown New Bedford - a large historic home, on a large lot that had just gotten through an extensive interior and exterior renovation. I can proudly say it was truly a gem, a very unique property. Knowing this, to recoup all the capital we had invested into it, a standard “throw up a ‘for sale’ sign, list it on MLS, have an open house weekend” sales approach would not have cut it. We needed a bespoke strategy for a bespoke home that would attract the niche buyers this house would be a perfect fit for.
The Mathew J. Arruda Group saw this from outset and tackled a plan with gusto (extensive professional photos, marketing videos, social media teasers, a brokers only open house, and vetted seller viewings by appointment only). While the lead up to the actual listing date deliberately took months (to build up the anticipation while the final renovations were being finished), we had an offer a week after listing and closed 6 weeks later. And for a record price!
Beyond nailing the outcomes we set forth and then some, working with the team was godsend. They were thorough, diligent, highly knowledgable of the market, and knew how to tailor and execute a razor sharp approach. I fully trusted them throughout the process and I can’t recommend them enough for anyone looking to sell their home (and now I’m a repeat customer!). — John
95 Hawthorn St, New Bedford, MA
48 Hawthorn St, New Bedford, MA
1656 Main Rd, Westport, MA
7 Stockton Short Cut, Wareham, MA
5 Deer Run, Marion, MA
Ņ No Monthly Service Fees
Ņ No Minimum Balance Requirement
Ņ No Transaction Fees
Ņ Unlimited Check Writing
Ņ FREE Starter Pack of Checks
BY PEET NOURJIAN
AS KIDS WE ALL TRIED TO RESIST THAT RITUAL OF BEING KISSED BOTH GRANDPARENTS, UNCLES AND AUNTS “SMOOCHED!” WHENEVER THEY GOT THE CHANCE ANY PART OF THE FACE WAS PRONE LIKE WISHES ON THE BLARNEY STONE AND THEN ONE DAY WE STOOD OUR GROUND WHEN THEY SHOWED UP WE WEREN’T AROUND
THE KISS BECAME A DIFFERENT THREAT THAT DAY AT SCHOOL WHEN WE FIRST MET A CLASSMATE WHO STARED BACK AT YOU AND STRUCK A NERVE THAT FELT BRAND NEW NEITHER ONE OF US HAD A CLUE WHEN ASKING FRIENDS WHAT THEY WOULD DO JUST ONE CONCLUSION FROM THEIR TIPS A KISS “HELLO” RIGHT ON THE LIPS
ROMANTIC FILMS ARE HOW WE LEARN THAT KISSES MAKE THE PASSIONS BURN THOSE BIG-SCREEN MOVIE STAR FACES PRESSED TOGETHER, LONG EMBRACES UNTIL THE SCREENPLAY TURNS A PAGE AND SOMEONE’S IN A JEALOUS RAGE THE MUSIC SOARS, WE HOLD OUR BREATH FINAL SCENE IS THE KISS OF DEATH
STEAL A KISS, KISSING ON THE RUN
KISS OFF, KISS UP, KISSED BY THE SUN CHOCOLATE KISSES BEFORE THEY MELT BUTTERFLY KISSES BARELY FELT KISS AND TELL, DISTANT KISSES BLOWN E-KISSES SENT OVER THE PHONE SOME CHAPSTICK, PLEASE, MY LIPS ARE DRY BEFORE I KISS THIS POEM GOOD-BYE. H
VALENTINE'S DAY
COURTESY OF THE VILLAGE SWEET SHOPPE
In a few short months, the Village Sweet Shoppe has become one of the most visited stores in Village of Padanaram in South Dartmouth. Offering the highest quality choices and cheerful services, it's the place that puts everyone in a good mood and makes them smile.
Are you looking to relive old memories or introduce a new experience of a traditional style ‘candy store’ to the grandchildren? Perhaps you need a special gift or theme for a party to show your appreciation? Of course, you might be craving chocolate, and that's why we're here!
The Village Sweet Shoppe is the go-to place for the finest in tasteful gifts including names like Li-Lac Chocolates from NYC, Harbor Sweets, Phillips Chocolates, Mc Crea's mouth-watering caramels, and treats from the Ice Cream Factory.
And, for those with eclectic tastes, we have an intriguing collection of international favorites that will satisfy most decerning palates.
Taste, Texture, & Quality Is Assured 300 Elm Street
‘In the Village’ South Dartmouth, Massachusetts
Everyday is a Holiday at the Village Sweet Shoppe!
A COMPANY YOU KEEP
Within the SouthCoast Community lies a cornerstone of stability and trust: Adamowski, Certified Public Accountants P.C. | Business Advisors. For over half a century, this venerable independent local business has been the beacon of financial acumen, specializing in taxes, accounting, and business consulting.
Upon stepping into their conveniently located offices on Hawthorn Street in Dartmouth, Massachusetts, you’ll find more than numbers meticulously arranged on spreadsheets. You’ll discover a team of seasoned professionals, each with a wealth of expertise and a commitment to excellence that spans generations. They are the custodians of fiscal health, the navigators in the tumultuous sea of finances.
Since its inception by founder Frank P. Adamowski, the firm has earned more than clients—but rather, confidants. The company’s reputation for reliability is legendary, and its integrity is unwavering. Businesses large and small rely upon them with their financial destinies, knowing that with Adamowski on board, their course is secure, and they will have continued access to top-flight services.
As a recognized leader in the field of taxation and accounting, they’ve earned the trust of their clients and are poised to serve the ongoing needs of those requiring tax advice, planning, accounting, and business consulting.
For additional information, contact Adamowski at 508-992-5454 or visit adamowski.com. H
Staying the Course
As the horizon changes, it’s assuring to know that a firm, started over 55 years ago by Frank P. Adamowski, remains a leader in the field of taxes, accounting and business consulting. It’s a comfort to know quality services are available locally.
Own a piece of history
The Buttonwood Agreement, according to folklore, was signed on May 17, 1792, under a Buttonwood tree in New York City; it was one of financial history’s most relevant acts, signaling the birth of the New York Stock Exchange.
At 68 Wall Street, the inception to shape and organize the securities business was developed by 24 businessmen who secretly met at the Corre’s Hotel. It is recorded that the early workings of the organization took place at Tontines Coffee House,
at the corner where Wall Street and Water Street met.
An offshoot of this incredible act of fiscal stewardship was the creation of
The Buttonwood Club on January 24, 1962. Created as a Society of Senior Members of the New York Stock Exchange, its membership and leaders have been comprised of the most talented and recognized names in the business of investing. Recently, The Club announced, with sadness, the passing of its most recent President, Arthur (Art) Cashin, Jr., on December 1, 2024.
Art was a face and personality that gained favor with America’s investment community through his connection and frequent appearances on the financial cable news show CNBC.
We are honored to present this significant and well-preserved object for your consideration. A remarkable supplement to your favorite investor’s office décor, its historical significance will add considerable decorative value to any space while sparking intriguing conversations.
Its age and association with a particular financial institution are uncertain. What is known about the large safe deposit box is that it is an authentic metal security container that has undergone refinishing. We are unable to authenticate the item, but history alludes to the initial use of safe deposit boxes in the U.S. to secure a space for “the rich and famous to hide their valuables” while traveling. Documentation shows that in 1861, a gentleman named Francis Jenks devised the first building with a steel vault in Lower Manhattan, offering access to 500 safe deposit boxes.
The beautiful old paint has preserved the metal exterior, leaving it in a remarkable condition. The original locking mechanism is intact, but the single key is absent; having only one key access would appear to indicate significant age. The box remains locked.
Magnificently detailed, an embellishment, ‘The Buttonwood Club’ shows significant age due to the handcrafted lettering technique.
This item was found in Westport, Connecticut, a tony suburb of NYC. Price upon request.
BY STEVEN CHAN
This luxurious private island home is located at 25 West Avenue in the affluent town of Marion, Massachusetts, one of the most picturesque communities found along the coast. Nestled steps from the ocean and with all its amenities, it stands as a testament to refined living and architectural beauty. With exceptional curb appeal, its face rises to the sky, commanding attention while presenting an unparalleled lifestyle sentiment that seamlessly blends tranquility and opulence. But, more than these words can describe, it is a home that a family will become enthralled with because of its incredible vibe radiating throughout.
The degree of architectural elegance and design is uncommonly profound, as it is unusual to find this level of crafting in new homes. From the moment you approach this magnificent residence, you are greeted by a delightful palate that exudes charm as well as sophistication. Its exterior boasts a harmonious blend of traditional New England architecture and modern design elements, creating a timeless aesthetic that is sure to captivate discerning buyers.
Most noticeable is a line of raw stone strategically placed in a manner separating the road and the property; it defines good taste and appreciation for landscape art and design.
On to the grand foyer, guests are welcomed with nine-foot soaring ceilings and an elegant chandelier, accentuating the airy and open ambiance while setting the tone for the rest of the home. Its wonderfully oversized windows and expansive glass doors invite natural light to flood the interiors. When entering the space, the complimentary family room and high-tech state-of-the-art kitchen induce admiration, excitement, and an expectation of fun!
The gourmet chef’s dream kitchen is equipped with the finest top-of-the-line appliances with WI-FI connectivity, custom cabinetry, and a large center island that doubles as a gathering place for family and friends. The open concept seamlessly connects the kitchen to the formal dining area and the expansive living room, creating an ideal setting for entertaining and relaxation.
Few homes have a heart like this one; you cannot help but feel immersed in a world of luxury and comfort. The many spacious living areas adorned with high-end finishes and meticulous attention to detail are impressive.
The home offers multiple bedrooms, each designed as a private sanctuary of comfort. The primary suite is a true retreat, featuring a spacious layout, a private balcony with breathtaking water views, and a luxurious en-suite bathroom with a soaking tub, walk-in shower, and dual vanities. Additional bedrooms are equally well-appointed, offering ample space and privacy for family members and guests.
One of the standout features of 25 West Avenue is its exceptional outdoor living spaces. The meticulously landscaped backyard provides a serene oasis where you can unwind and enjoy the beauty of nature. A large deck and patio area are perfect for al fresco dining. At the same time, the private dock offers direct access to the water, making it easy
to indulge in boating, kayaking, or simply soaking in the serene views.
This breathtaking property is equipped with an array of top-of-the-line amenities that cater to every need and desire.
A modern home theater ensures an immersive cinematic experience, while the home gym allows the maintenance of an active lifestyle without leaving the comfort of your residence. Smart home technology is integrated throughout, providing convenience and control at your fingertips.
The quiet town of Marion is known for its charm and vibrant activities. Residents enjoy access to boutique shops, gourmet restaurants, and recreational opportunities that make coastal Massachusetts a sought-after destination. The town’s rich history and cultural attractions further enhance its appeal, offering a perfect blend of relaxation and sophistication.
Another attractive feature adding to such an unbelievable value is a buildable lot directly behind the primary home, offering a host of options for a growing family.
Planting Island offers extraordinary views of Buzzards Bay & Planting Island Cove; once more of a resort community, it has transformed and now hosts year-round residents who enjoy four seasons of privacy and pleasure. Nothing has been spared
With exceptional curb appeal, its face rises to the sky, commanding attention while presenting an unparalleled lifestyle sentiment that seamlessly blends tranquility and opulence.
to create an enchanting and functional home in one of the most desirable communities ever to be found. Whether you are single who enjoys entertaining with a share of solitude for recharging, a couple with a desire for self-indulgence and wanting to keep the flame burning, or a family searching for a welcoming community that offers the best of the best, there are few homes available offering such value. H
25 West Avenue, on Planting Island in Marion, Massachusetts, is represented by Converse Company Real Estate, 166 Front Street in Marion Center, for $2,500,000 and includes a buildable lot adjacent to the primary property. For additional information, to answer your questions, or to arrange a showing, please contact Margaret Gee either by emailing mgee@conversere.com or calling 617-308-6537.
Few homes have a heart like this one; you cannot help but feel immersed in a world of luxury and comfort.
I’m looking for a man in finance with a trust fund, six-five, blue eyes
FINDING
A QUALIFIED PARTNER
It Begins With Understanding What They Want
BY STEVEN CHAN
At a time when men and women across a spectrum of age, socio-economic status, and various levels of education rant about an inability to locate and enter a pleasing and rewarding relationship, many seem to neglect or are unable to recognize their indulgence in contemporary preambles for selecting and pursuing a potential mate.
Through a refined focus and acuity to cultural implications, mostly noted since the Pandemic, we have witnessed a trend among singles who are riveted to modern societal expectations (found to be more physically and financially incentivized than personally and emotionally), only to position them on a trajectory absent of the skills and knowledge necessary for building a partnership of comfort, security, understanding, and compatibility.
New insights found when examining data on the expectations of those searching for a partner indicate a replacement of critical interpersonal traits such as values, integrity, and trust, substituted with external and fleeting characteristics, some of which include unattainable levels of attractiveness, specific height requirements, age parameters, significant wealth or at the very least, earning potential. Subsequent efforts to reach for someone referred to as ‘out-of-their-league’ regrettably place millions of single adults adrift in a sea of loneliness, watching their best years dissipate, never to be restored.
Social scientists have taken on the task of determining what people innately desire when looking for a partner; however,
interestingly, self-report inventories meant to gain insight into a person’s expectations and beliefs are often confounded by untruths and other types of errors. Usually, those interviewed frequently make claims that will appease the examiner in an attempt to increase their appeal by embellishing or devising answers they believe to be more acceptable and will deliver praise or validation.
SCREENING
Yes, it is part of human social interaction, much like the killer robot in the movie The Terminator, made famous by Arnold Schwarzenegger; in every social situation (even if only one other person is nearby), we scan and immediately acknowledge their presence and compare their characteristics, both physical and behavioral, to a historical file stored in our brains for an evaluation based on our experiences, likes, dislikes, attraction, or disinterest, all serving as a predeterminant of further engagement or avoidance. Yet, this de-facto evaluation process only scratches the surface; tunneling deeper in identifying the differences between men’s and women’s expectations is essential when determining if what appeals to them as they search for a relationship is of any value and could result in a viable outcome. Establishing authenticity within one’s range of acceptance is vital; all else is window dressing, which could be the reason people are avoiding intimacy, unable to meet the parameters of pre-selection, or the cause of uncoupling after a few years. Researchers have also found unparalleled participation in disjointed or platonic relationships, unlike any previous time.
TRUTH OR DARE
It is not easy to share what we found specific to what women desire from a relationship; there is no static truth to attraction and retention due to vast differences in personalities and cultures, but make no mistake, much of what can be anecdotally determined has been documented and analyzed based on in-vitro observations along with countless interviews with thousands of women who were brave enough to be honest about what they will and will not settle for in a partner.
Remember, we are only delivering a message; these opinions and facts have sometimes been brought forth by others— both men and women.
LADIES CHOICE
There are volumes of data suggesting what a woman wants from a man they select (yes, own this advantage) as a potential partner; here are some examples of what used to be considered the norm but may now be responsible for relationship problems.
BE A GOOD LISTENER
COMMUNICATE FEELINGS
SHOW AFFECTION
BE GENEROUS WITH TIME AND RESOURCES
EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
HONESTY
LOYALTY
VULNERABILITY
As for modern women, you might be surprised how they honestly feel; yet, due
to specific environmental sensitivities, city vs. suburbs vs. rural settings, there are varying degrees of prerequisites they prescribe to; but don’t be fooled, there are genetic intricacies within every woman playing a significant role in how they chose a mate.
Initially, they tell you they also want the same ‘feel-good’ qualities our culture uses to whitewash women’s pent-up demands and desires because they are viewed as unattractive when discussed. In place of such drudgery, in contemporary society, women have been placed on a pedestal, keeping them beyond reproach and protected by a spell of purity both in thought and deed—think of traditional wedding ceremonies.
HERE IS WHAT IS OUT THERE FOR YOUR CONSUMPTION:
“I’m looking for a man in finance with a trust fund, six-five, blue eyes (a popular social media meme).”
“Good luck,” one of many bloggers posted, “The probability of randomly picking a man satisfying all four conditions is 0.000093887 percent.” Yet, it does not stop so many from hunting.
FREEDOM AND MALE FRIENDS
UNINHIBITED RESOURCES
FANCY CARS
MORE THAN ONE HOME
MULTIPLE VACATIONS EACH YEAR
FINE DINING
SHOPPING EXPEDITIONS
As for others, they are a bit less materialistic but have expectations:
AN EXCEPTIONAL PRESENTATION AND WELL-DRESSED
METICULOUSLY GROOMED
CONFIDENT AND SECURE
EITHER WEALTHY OR THE ABILITY TO CREATE A FINANCIAL LEGACY
INTELLIGENCE, BOTH INTELLECTUAL AND EMOTIONALLY
UNBURDENED BY AN EX OR CHILDREN
CULTURED
THE ABILITY TO PROVIDE SAFETY AND SECURITY
MUST HAVE STATUS—NO EXCEPTIONS
CONTINUOUS EXPERIENCES THAT SATISFY AN EMOTIONAL NEED FOR EXCITEMENT AND STIMULATION
EMOTIONAL CONVERGENCE, WITHOUT ANY SIGN OF DEPENDENCY
DON’T BE COMPLETELY PERFECT; I NEED A PROJECT, AND I THINK I CAN MAKE IMPROVEMENTS
Possessing these characteristics, the opportunity to be pre-selected increases dramatically. Still, there is a caveat, and that is, if you don’t exhibit all of these behaviors, you are destined to the dreaded ‘friend zone’ since entitlement to the highest degree of hypergamy is nonnegotiable. Oh, you can remain friends but expect to be used as a distraction while they continue their search.
SUCCESS
It begins with an unmentionable dynamic referred to as the ‘caring quotient.’ Whether it be when first meeting or embarking on a journey of discovery, in a two-party bond, one person must be more involved in the emotional experience than the other; with romance, a man must allow the woman to be overtly in love with him, much more than he is with her. He can feel the desire and intensity, but it is relationship death if he demonstrates a more caring attitude than she does. She will unconsciously lose respect for his lack of masculinity. Moreover, while at first it is viewed as sensitive, his newly acquired feminine state will quickly become an unforgiving ‘ick.’
Next, and please remember, these are not our opinions; there are two personalities in every relationship, one dominant and the other passive; once coupled, their roles to succumb to or reject become evident and will determine the longevity of the partnership.
By nature and heredity, women will repeatedly test a man they desire to determine if he is a true alpha and can resist her temptation to change or modify his personality or lower his boundaries. Not that she wants him to; instead, it is to test his voracity and commitment to maintaining his individuality. If a man
gives in to such examination, he ends up displaying weakness and vulnerability—the very thing we have been told women want but, realistically, do not find attractive.
It has been found that females constantly seek attention and validation; their need for approval by a man is so specific that if they do not get it from their love interest, they will go elsewhere. However, intermittent acceptance, or what is called ‘being seen’ by their lover, is enough to keep them coming back for greater emotional rewards. Evidence of this is self-disclosed desire is noticed when a woman says she wants space; translation, let me enjoy chasing you—and stop smothering me!
The list of recommendations from those who study relationships could fill volumes. However, much of it is common sense to the degree that older generations have learned the basics of male-female interactions from their fathers. At the same time, younger couples are made up of knowledgeable women and naive men who chase because the feminist movement has emasculated them. Such a strategy has changed generations that are now paying the price by surrendering their manhood and becoming simps, disqualifying them from engagement.
Some might think and fear that if they act independently within a relationship, it could drive their love interest away, believing they would have to begin over again. Well, truth be told: “Let them.” You are not their keeper, and you cannot nor should you try to make them love you; it is a fool’s errand. Their feelings and actions are out of your control, and in reality, if they decide to move on, they will never be yours; accept that you deserve better.
A rule of thought circulating with the most desirable cadre of available men is to care enough not to care. Invoke self-love and appreciate who you have become. You are a dominant force deserving of attention and attraction. You also deserve a successful relationship stacked with equality but with a partner accepting the relationship on your terms.
Don’t be fooled; if you haven’t leveled up to the degree of regularly getting noticed and interviewed for pre-selection, you better get started by working on yourself because change doesn’t happen overnight.
Good luck in your quest. H
What’s Your Color?
How well do you know yourself? It is a question that periodically circulates in our minds and something so many of us attempt to answer, whether it be glancing at a daily horoscope, taking a test from a link on social media, or for the more serious, picking up a paperback book that explains the many traits that make up our complex personalities.
One interesting and unique perspective is found in a National Bestseller known as Colorful Personalities, Discover your personality type through the power of Colors, by George J. Boelcke, CCP. It isn’t a new view, but a different concept as to how we can identify likes, dislikes, and interests with a focus on understanding the totality of who and what we are attracted to and how we respond to outside influences. Initially, the author released this work in 1959, but the original thesis continues to hold to the nature of explaining our individuality and relationships.
The book includes a self-assessment up front as an introduction to understanding the concept, with an extra copy at the back. It isn’t so much a test but instead, an inventory for identifying a person’s “… preferences, values, and priorities,” according to Boelcke. Noticeably, it is a process that has nothing to do with how others perceive you; instead, it is a reflection of who you feel you are; because of this perspective, the enjoyment of reading and exploring what your color or colors is fun and informative.
As a brief explanation, once you total up your subjective personal profile, you are asked to assign a numerical score that will identify your ‘color(s).’ The pieces to the puzzle are as follows: Blue, Gold, Orange and Green. What is essential to take away from this first step is that you may find the scoring relatively close in certain instances. However, the highest score indicates a dominant theme to who you are, with the lowest suggesting traits that are less likely to influence your personality.
Also, because the scoring isn’t actually static, consider the allocations of the color to fit together like that of a puzzle since they all play a role in who we have become! If you take an imaginary puzzle piece, the color areas will be relatively different in size while the perimeters remain the same.
Finally, no color is more significant than another; it is just a means of measuring the characteristics of your personality.
Over the many chapters, readers will enjoy actively learning about themselves and possibly debate the findings; naturally, nothing is 100 percent, but this is a good starting point.
BY CATHERINE HILDERBRAND
BLUES: RELATIONSHIPS AND AUTHENTICITY
According to the author, “Blues are the relationship experts of the world. With their warm smile, soft voice, and great eye contact, they are naturally gifted in making everyone around them feel special and included. They easily connect with others.” Interestingly, they don’t try to use emails or text messages to share their hearts; they will insist on face-to-face meetings if they are to connect with a person of romantic interest.
GOLDS: DUTY AND RESPONSIBILITY
They have a plan and are always focused on working it to a conclusion, even though, as they eliminate tasks from their lists, they are continuously adding more. As one of the largest groups, they hold loyalty and friends in the highest regard. The Golds are trustworthy and dedicated; if you want commitment, this is the person you want in your corner.
ORANGES: FREEDOM AND SKILLFULNESS
We all know them, those free spirits that don’t seem to let anything bother them, which is true of the Orange dominant personality. Spontaneous and fun, you’ll know them by their battle cry, “Let’s do it!” These people have a great sense of humor and love attention; you will see them telling stories or putting on a show to get a rise from ‘their’ audience.
GREENS: KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING
Indeed, anyone under the influence of this color possesses unnerving skills in logic and facts; you won’t see them looking for warm and fuzzy emotions based on intuition or emotional insight; they are doctors, lawyers, and engineers whose personalities are made of science and technology. To them, knowledge is power, and with power, they become leaders. Do not expect great levity when interacting with a green; on the contrary, they will expect you to rise to the occasion and meet their level of precision and understanding of complexities. Likely, they won’t be interested in reading this book or listening to what you are dying to share with them after you finish reading.
Within each color description are lists of ‘Common Strengths and Stressors’ used to identify each profile further; beyond this nugget of information, more significant details are addressed with a look at classifying the combinations of colors, which will be of great interest because there is so much overlap, or at the very least, low fences between each personality type that perfectly blend. Hopefully, this introduction has sparked an interest, for if we go any further, we would end up rewriting what is already an excellent read for the beach, by a winter fire, or better yet, a long plane ride where you can relax and let your seat neighbor know your focused on the journey ahead. H
The Pleasures of Winter Travel
BY STEVEN CHAN
One of the two most traveled locations during this season seems to revolve around snow sports in the Mountains of New Hampshire and beyond or soaking up the sunshine at points south. All are delightful destinations, offering a well-deserved break from routine and monotony. Still, you might be surprised to learn that many are taking advantage of visiting the customary summer hot spots during the off-season. Some favorite retreats include the Berkshires of Massachusetts, Newport, Rhode Island, the Islands of Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard; all offer exceptional and unduplicated experiences all year.
The primary attraction of winter travel is the allure of uncrowded streets and sidewalks and the ability to enjoy entertainment venues without the intensity of crowds jockeying for admission. At the same time, those who roam the fascinating landscapes of the flatlands will tell you of the relaxation and peacefulness found while visiting popular resort communities; there is an atypical level of tranquility usually absent during the shoulder and summer months.
For these many reasons, an off-thebeaten-path holiday delivers other attractions, such as ridiculously low offseason hotel rates, significant discounts at the most desirable boutiques, and the ease of getting dinner reservations that are nonexistent during peak season.
Deciding where you would enjoy exploring is subjective; it is a matter of ‘To each their own,’ but it is essential to point out that the most desirable summer destinations roll up the carpets at the end of fall, so trying to grab a coffee and muffin or a cocktail and tapas can be challenging. With such uncertainty, we suggest settling on a location that has been tried and tested and comes highly recommended.
Our choice for a winter adventure is Long Island, with time spent in Wine Country, primarily located along the North Folk, a stop at River Head for incredible shopping, and as much time as possible in Westhampton to the tip of Montauk (all considered ‘The Hamptons’) with a side trip to Sag Harbor for an enchanting dinner.
GETTING THERE
If you like the ocean and are dressed for it, this time of year is a delightful and convenient means of travel; take the Cross Sound Ferry (longislandferry.com) from New London, Connecticut (two hours from Boston, no more than 90 minutes from the SouthCoast, and an hour from Providence) to Orient Point, where you and others will take in beautiful views and fresh air. Once you get your fill, head to the lounge for your favorite adult beverage. For the more adventurous, plan to drive to NYC (staying out of the ridiculous and expensive congestion zones) for a couple of nights of excitement, then a drive directly to the Hamptons by way of the Long Island Expressway in under two hours;
those lucky enough to find the time to take this route will be enchanted by how the vibe follows them from the ‘City’ to the ‘Beach.’ But, to enhance the trip, when it is time to depart, take in the magnificent countryside heading to Orient Point and jump on the ferry for a leisurely ride home.
As for the doubters, the east end of Long Island is known for its mild weather, lack of snow, and lots of sunshine; best of all, many of the summer resort town businesses remain open during the winter, catering to a large number of year-round residents who demand the same exquisite lifestyles enjoyed during the other seasons.
ACCOMMODATIONS
How does a room that advertises for $3,000 per night, now offered at a bargain price of $395, or an ocean suite for half the standard rack rate sound? The deals are beyond your wildest imagination, and if you are interested in a pure luxury play, consider Gurney’s in Montauk ( gurneysresorts.com/ montauk). The combination of all the amenities, the beach, spa, top-of-the-line restaurant, and rooms are top-rated with service, will impress and spoil.
MUST DO’S
If you want a first-class entertainment experience, take a short drive to the Gateway Theater (we had the pleasure of reviewing this company in previous issues); their troupe will be presenting The Addams Family Musical (through
February 16) followed by the anticipated opening of Disney’s Frozen, running March 7-April 13.
Plan an afternoon at the famous Baiting Hollow Farm Vineyard (baitinghollowfarmvineyard.com) in Riverhead for wine and, of course, a delicious meal, plus weekend entertainment options.
Few experiences offer the same pleasures as spending a couple of hours at any of the beautiful beaches on Long Island. You’ll be surprised by the many locals and travelers who make it pasttime to walk the shoreline and enjoy the sounds of crashing surf and the captivating feelings of freedom. Less expensive than therapy, the sun shining down and a breeze at your back will become a fond memory to be enjoyed countless times.
DINING
For those unfamiliar with the posh village of Sag Harbor, be sure to make a reservation at LuLu’s (info@lulusagharbor.com). Besides a lively ‘Happy Hour,’ a ‘Lulu’s Best Brunch,’ and the fact they are open seven days a week, their gourmet delights for both lunch and dinner are something to look forward to.
For exquisite French delicacies, a wise choice is Pierre’s, located in Bridgehampton, known as the Heart of the Hamptons. Chic in every sense, it is a go-to kitchen for seasoned New Yorkers and the local Hampton crowd. ( pierresbh.com/restaurant).
Please don’t delay; take the plunge and check out the dual coasts of Long Island; it is a sure bet that your first visit won’t be your last. H
Talent Call WINTER 2025
Have you thought about modeling, or better yet, getting on the cover of a magazine?
If so, here is the opportunity you’ve been searching for. We have a few openings over the next few months for those with drive and motivation to meet their goals and dreams.
REQUIREMENTS
:
n Responsible & Punctual For Appointments
n Short-Notice Availability
n Personable & A Great Smile
n Comfortable Having Your Photo Taken (100’s of times)
n Proficient With Hair & Makeup (you don’t have to be an expert, just the ability to style your ‘look’)
n A Sufficient Wardrobe/Fall & Winter
For a conversation regarding details and to book a FREE test-shoot, email or call today; we look forward to speaking with you and answering your questions.
Caregiver Payments
Caring for someone at home? You may qualify for a monthly payment.
Are you facing the challenges of caring for a loved one at home? Perhaps trying to wholeheartedly balance their needs and the daily demands life delivers you?
If this sounds familiar, we are here to assist you in providing an unmatched standard of Adult Foster Care benefits for those striving to stay in their homes.
Mass Care Link is evolutionary, providing a monthly payment to those caring for someone at home while supporting them with a personalized touch.
Costing less than assisted living facilities and nursing homes, with a record of compassion and empathy, we cover the unique needs of our clients.
Families and individuals rely on our services to:
• Ensure caregivers receive a tax-free monthly stipend/payment
• Review and verify MassHealth paperwork and qualifications
• Train and assist with the management and demand of providing 24-hour care
You may not know this fact, but if you qualify as an at-home caregiver, you can earn up to $18,240 yearly.
For a caregiver to meet state requirements, they must:
• Be at least 18 years of age
• Reside in the same home as the person they care for
• Not be the legal guardian or legally married to the person being cared for
• Provide necessary medical care and assistance that meets the needs of the person they care for
For your family member or loved one to qualify for Mass Care Link services, they must meet these eligibility points:
• Be 16 years of age or older
• Be approved for MassHealth insurance
• Live with the primary caregiver in the same home
• Require supervision and cueing, or physical assistance daily with at least one of the following needs: bathing, toileting, ambulation, transferring, eating, and/or dressing.
If this sounds attractive and meets your level of interest, contact us today for additional information or to schedule an appointment.
Mass Care Link, Inc.
99 South Main Street, Fall River, Massachusetts 02721 Hablamos Español | Falamos Português call for more information or visit us online at:
Cancer Is Rising in Younger Americans, What Is The Solution?
BY ROB SAINT LAURENT, M.ED.
For many of us, cancer conjures images of older people victimized by the ravages of time, although not necessarily accurate.
Dana-Farber Cancer Institute explains that age is the biggest determinant of a person’s cancer risk, with cancer risk rising significantly after age 50 and half of all cancers happening at or above age 66. The median age for people diagnosed with breast cancer is 61; prostate cancer, 66; colorectal cancer, 68; and lung cancer, 70.1
Like dementia and heart disease, most cancers are commonly viewed as diseases of aging. However, a disturbing trend is challenging that perception.
It’s important for younger people to keep watch for any abnormal symptoms and to know their family health history.
Taking early action is essential to help ensure proper care in a timely fashion. Since colorectal cancer may not show early signs or symptoms, testing and early diagnosis are crucial for prevention.
MORE YOUNGER ADULTS WITH CANCER
Common cancers once reserved for older people are befalling younger generations, from Z-X, at an alarming rate.
Growing data show cancer incidence in adults under age 50 (early-onset) is steadily rising by one-two percent annually. 2 Among several age groups (65 and over, 50-64, and 50 and under), only those 50 and under showed a rise in overall cancer incidence between 1995 and 2020. Each year, the U.S. sees about 80,000 new cancer diagnoses in people aged 20-39, with about 9,000 related deaths.3, 4
Worldwide, a secondary analysis of the 2019 Global Burden of Disease study found that early-onset cancer spiked 79.1 percent, and associated deaths up nearly 28 percent between 1990 and 2019. Specifically, breast, respiratory system (trachea, bronchus,
Illustration targeting a malignant cancer cell
lung), stomach, and colorectal cancers showed the greatest disability and death rates in 2019. Meanwhile, rates of early-onset nasopharyngeal (head and neck) and prostate cancer showed the sharpest increases.5
In the U.S., a cohort study of more than a half-million cancer patients under age 50 revealed that, from 2010-2019, early-onset breast cancer was most prevalent, while rates of early-onset gastrointestinal cancer—stomach, colon, rectal, and pancreatic— rose the fastest.
6
Both studies showed markedly high rates of early-onset colorectal cancer in both men and women.
According to the American Cancer Society, colorectal cancer is trending upward in people under age 55. It is now the leading cause of cancer-related death in men under 50 and second leading
cause of cancer-related death in women under 50, with breast cancer-related death reigning for women.3
The high-profile passing of 43-year-old Black Panther actor Chadwick Boseman from colon cancer has helped raise public awareness of this disease shift and the need for better understanding, early diagnosis, and prevention.
CAUSE STILL IN QUESTION
Explains Dana-Farber, genetic mutations and other changes to our DNA are at the root of cells becoming cancerous. When these mutations affect genes that govern cell division and protect against tumors, cells can divide and grow uncontrollably. Typically, this process happens over many years.1
Scientists still aren’t sure why an aging body is more vulnerable
to cancer. Dana-Farber believes it boils down to long-term exposure to carcinogens such as sunlight, radiation, and toxic chemicals in our surroundings and food supply, coupled with normal cellular changes as we age that enable cancer to take root. Other age-related factors may include chronic inflammation, weakened immunity and cancer cell detection, and poorer ability to repair damaged DNA.1
Likewise, the cause(s) of early-onset cancer are also to be determined, but research points to a multitude of risk factors.
Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSK) says an obvious research focus is America’s “vicious circle of obesity, highly processed foods, and sedentary lifestyle,” which is at epidemic levels and expanding to other nations. MSK says obesity causes inflammation that can lead to cancer, and this needs addressing, but doesn’t entirely explain the alarming rise in colorectal and breast cancer rates in younger people.7
MSK researchers believe that, during fetal development or early childhood, toxic environmental exposures beginning in the 1950s, ‘60s, or ‘70s may also be responsible. Another potential factor is changes in the gut microbiome—the fungi, yeasts, and bacteria that are a critical part of the immune system. Young colorectal cancer patients have been shown to have less microbial diversity and a different microbial makeup than older patients, with greater diversity linked to better health.7
Researchers from the 2019 global disease study found multiple common denominators in cancer patients: dietary risks (too much red meat and sodium, not enough whole grains, fiber, fruit, and dairy), a lack of exercise, tobacco smoking, alcohol use, a high body mass index, and elevated fasting plasma glucose (blood sugar). The authors encouraged adoption of a healthy lifestyle, including eating healthy, limiting alcohol and tobacco use, and regular physical activity.5
Having children later in life, or fewer children, and disparities in access to healthy food and medical treatment are other potential reasons for early-onset cancer. 2
MSK says more women under age 50 are showing signs of aggressive forms of breast cancer that have worse outcomes. Besides obesity, they say this could be due, for example, to exposure to more years of reproductive hormones since women are menstruating earlier and having children later.7
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF COLORECTAL AND BREAST CANCER
The American Cancer Society (ACS) says colorectal cancer may not show any symptoms early on, but if it does, there are common signs/symptoms to look for.
COLORECTAL CANCER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS 8
n Change in bowel habits (narrowing of stool, constipation, diarrhea) lasting longer than several days
n Continued feeling of needing a bowel movement, even after having one
n Rectal bleeding (bright red blood)
n Blood in stool (stool may appear dark brown or black)
n Abdominal pain or cramping
n Weakness, fatigue
n Unexplained weight loss
ACS says stools can often look normal while blood loss continues and red blood cell count drops. The first sign of colorectal cancer, they say, is sometimes a blood test showing anemia.
BREAST CANCER SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS 9
n A new lump or mass
n Swelling of entire or part of breast, even without lump present
n Skin dimpling, sometimes resembling an orange peel
n Pain in breast or nipple
n Nipple turning inward
n Breast or nipple skin that’s red, dry, flaking, or thickened
n Unusual nipple discharge
n Swollen lymph nodes near collar bone or underneath arm
A new lump or mass is the most common breast cancer sign, according to ACS. They say swollen lymph nodes could be a sign of cancer spread, even before the breast tumor is big enough to be felt.
PREVENTION
Cancer screening is probably not top of mind for many younger people. UChicago Medicine advises that people in their 20s and 30s consult their doctor to determine cancer risk and whether testing/screening is needed. Starting in their 40s, women are advised to begin having mammograms for breast cancer, while both men and women are advised to start screening for colon cancer at age 45. 2
It’s important for younger people to keep watch for any abnormal symptoms and to know their family health history. Taking early action is essential to help ensure proper care in a timely fashion. Since colorectal cancer may not show early signs or symptoms, testing and early diagnosis are crucial for prevention. Once detected, precancerous tumors (polyps) can be removed entirely and trouble averted. Regarding lifestyle, the Mediterranean diet is a good guideline for better living, involving fruits, vegetables (cruciferous especially), whole grains, legumes, and nuts; fish high in omega-3 fats, olive oil, and other healthy fats; moderate poultry, eggs, and dairy; and little or no red meat. The diet has been observed to lower cancer risk, is considered the easiest to follow among popular eating methods, and scores top marks for gut health, weight loss/control, and mental health.
Minimizing sugar intake is essential, as excessive added sugar has been linked to cancer growth regardless of body weight. Cleveland Clinic advises no more than 10 percent of daily calories from added sugar, at four calories per gram.
The rising tide of early-onset cancers demands urgent attention, say experts, as time is not on our side. H
1. Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. (2017, May 18). Why Does Cancer Risk Increase As We Get Older?
2. Bartosch, J. (2024, August 6). Why are more young people getting cancer? What to know as cases rise. UChicago Medicine.
3. Collins, S. (2024, January 17). 2024—First Year the US Expects More than 2M New Cases of Cancer. American Cancer Society.
4. American Cancer Society medical and editorial content team. (2024, May 23). Key Statistics for Cancers in Young Adults.
5. Zhao, J., Xu, L., Sun, J., et al. (2023, September 4). Global trends in incidence, death, burden, and risk factors of early-onset cancer from 1990 to 2019. BMJ Oncology, 2(1).
6. Koh, B., Jun Hao Tan, D., Han Ng, C., et al. (2023, August 16). Patterns in Cancer Incidence Among People Younger Than 50 Years in the US, 2010 to 2019. JAMA Network Open, 6(8), e2328271.
7. Piersol, B. (2024, September 3). The Latest Research on Why So Many Young Adults Are Getting Cancer. Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.
BOSTON BALLET PRESENTS MIKKO NISSINEN’S
THE CLASSICAL MASTERPIECE FEATURES A BEAUTIFUL ROMANCE AND EXQUISITE MUSIC
Boston Ballet is presenting Mikko Nissinen’s Swan Lake, an epic story that brings the best of classical ballet to the stage from February 27–March 16 at the Citizens Opera House in Boston.
“Swan Lake is truly the ultimate experience when it comes to classical ballet,” said Artistic Director Mikko Nissinen. “The production showcases a timeless story, physical and emotional depth, with powerful opposing themes. I am excited to bring Swan Lake to today’s audiences to experience the timeless relevance of this masterwork.”
The original production of Swan Lake premiered in Moscow in 1877 at the Bolshoi Ballet, with choreography by Julius Reisinger. However, as one might never believe, it was not a success. The Swan Lake we know today was created in 1895 for the Mariinsky Ballet in St. Petersburg, with choreography by Marius Petipa and Lev Ivanov. Tchaikovsky died in 1893 and was unable to see his beautiful score as a successful ballet.
Ivanov’s second act is historically considered the finest piece of classical choreography for the corps de ballet of swans. To bring this vision to life, Nissinen collaborated with renowned designer Robert Perdziola to create sets and costumes inspired by the late Gothic and early Renaissance periods.
Nissinen’s production of Swan Lake begins with an added prologue that depicts the genesis of Von Rothbart’s evil curse, transforming a young woman into a swan named Odette. As Prince Siegfried
celebrates his coming of age, his mother reminds him that he must select a bride at the grand ball held in his honor. As a distraction, the young prince goes to hunt at the lakeside, where Odette appears, revealing herself as the Swan Queen and telling Siegfried of the sorcerer’s spell. Siegfried vows his eternal love. In the third act, Von Rothbart and his daughter Odile, who appears as Odette through her father’s sorcery, arrive at the grand ball. Believing that Odette has come to him in masquerade, the prince happily selects Odile as his bride. He unknowingly breaks his vow to Odette, dooming her to remain a swan forever. In the final act, a heartbroken Odette and regretful Siegfried reunite and destroy the evil sorcerer. Odette tenderly forgives Prince Siegfried, but the spell cannot be undone. Overwhelmed by his love for Odette, Siegfried follows the Swan Queen into the lake and is overtaken by the waves and his grief.
Boston Ballet’s Music Director Mischa Santora or Associate Conductor Alyssa Wang will conduct the Boston Ballet Orchestra, the second largest musical organization in New England, in P.I. Tchaikovsky’s masterful score.
All 17 performances of Swan Lake will take place at Citizens Opera House, 539 Washington Street, in the Arts & Entertainment area of the city, with a performance length of approximately 2 hours and 35 minutes, including one intermission. H
Tickets start at $25. For more information, visit bostonballet.org or call 617-695-6955.
A Crisis In The Dining Room
Self-Made Or Victims Of Circumstances?
BY SUSAN FLETCHER
SIt’s another pandemic. Tipping in America has become a political football of sorts, with some willing to leave a gratuity to those who historically were never considered a service that required consumers to part with their hard-earned cash and others who have become so frustrated that they have decided to eliminate or reduce the size of their ‘tips’ significantly.
ome observers pin the change of customers rewarding servers for outstanding service after the COVID outbreak; it was a time when restaurant operators were hoping to recover losses when they had to close, and their employees were suddenly out of work. Being sensitive and weary from the isolation, the country went out in full force in an attempt to revive the food industry and support the dedicated staff they missed being in contact with during better days.
While, at first, everything seemed to go back to standard practices, the mechanics of food service slowly began to morph into a sphere that would backfire on the industry, pitting workers, customers, and owners against each other. Facing increases in food costs, along with just about all other expenses, problems finding and retaining help, and trailing wages that didn’t meet basic needs caused traditional practices to expand, giving rise to first a protest, followed by a battle between generations.
Patrons began to witness questionable practices by restaurant operators:
1. Many noticed a charge called a ‘Kitchen appreciation fee.’
2. ‘Wellness Fee’ to provide insurance for staff.
3. Mandatory ‘tips’ of 20 percent, with the words, “Feel free to include an additional gratuity.”
4. Merchant Fee, 3 percent (covers owners’ rent and expenses).
5. Charging up to 4-5 percent for the use of a credit card in place of cash to square away a bill.
6. In some cases, up to an 8 percent surcharge to cover fuel, inflation, and supply chain expenses.
7. Receipts suggestions for 10, 15, or 20 percent tips increased to 15, 20, and 25 percent.
Over time, outside of a tip, these ‘junk’ fees have left a bitter taste in the mouths of many diners, leaving them to search for alternative food and entertainment resources or reduce visits. But regardless of why consumers are backtracking, what matters is that the ploys to exploit the consumer are backfiring.
From the list, using the suggested or mandatory ‘add-ons’ to a tab for $150.00, might look similar to this:
(Average of the following (MA 6.25%) (RI 7%) (CT 7.35%) (ME 8%) (NYC 8.875)(NH 9 %) (VT Meals 9% / Alcohol 10% - Ave 9.5%) (ME 8%)
As unbelievable as it might appear, and this could have a tinge of exaggeration—but not by much, a whopping $85.73 would be added to your meal of $150 at what would be considered an aboveaverage restaurant. Under such circumstances, why would the government not acknowledge this is one of the many reasons we live under a cloud of inflation?
Such an example not only reveals the reason restaurants are shoving the public out the door but also the lack of awareness that a problem is taking place. This indiscretion won’t be resolved without legislation and restrictions on ‘Junk Fees,’ which feeds an unsatiable need for tax dollars and the subsidizing of inept restaurant owners.
There are plenty of operators who know their business and don’t need to rely on a shell game to extract more than they deserve. Think about it: what other companies that went through tough times are crying out for public handouts?
NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE
Moving on, let’s discuss service. The service industry resides on a spectrum of professionalism; at the lower end, some hate waiting on the public and put in as little effort as possible with a massive expectation of reward simply for showing up. On the other hand, most of us have met dedicated servers who have made it their mission and adopted careers in food service. These folks are easily recognized due to their presentation, affable personalities and over-delivery of commitment to creating an atmosphere where their customer’s satisfaction is a priority.
Underlying the topic of service is the fact that operators are neglecting to properly train employees, supervise them, listen to feed
back from customers, and demand a strict standard that will bring customers back.
“Yeah, Nah, Hey, Got you or No problem,” rather than “Yes, no, I understand, Thank you, and You’re welcome, identifies one of the many problems that cause sophisticated diners to drift away from dining out because of disrespect and a money-grab.
Interestingly, it seems, from experience, that fine dining restaurants have the best service. Why, you might ask, if the food is outstanding, the surroundings are elevated, and the service impeccable even though the industry operates at their economy of scale relative to market share and customer base, wouldn’t the difference be inappreciable and more dependant on skill-stack and management both fiscally and operationally?
It appears some—perhaps many, in the restaurant and hospitality businesses believe they can run a shop because their experiences of ‘eating out’ prepared them for operating a challenging and complicated business model. Ask any accountant or look at the data; you’ll quickly realize that the fatality rate of restaurants is at its highest peak for failure, and unless you are at the top of your game and have incredible experience and/or an MBA, the future isn’t bright.
HELP IS NOT ON THE WAY
Back to tipping, which is a thorn in the foot of consumers because of the expectation and entitlement of a tip counter staff believe they deserve.
Consider: You visit a coffee shop, and instead of sitting down at a clean table and having your order taken, you must locate one yourself. In many cases, you need to wipe it down because
I’VE
BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT; IT BUILDS CHARACTER AND WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER; BECAUSE OF THIS MOMENT, YOUR LIFE AND MEMORIES WILL CHANGE; ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT REWARDS COME IN STRANGE WAYS, AND I HOPE SOMEDAY WHEN YOU ARE ABLE YOU WILL PAY FORWARD LIKE I AM DOING TODAY.
the previous customer left it filthy or because the staff, who often appear eager for your tip, didn’t get to it because they were focused on chatting or felt they were above the task.
Now, being settled, you have to get up and place your order, be embarrassed to leave a tip—thank you, credit card processors, for this horrendous forced tipping tool, then stand at the end of the counter and wait for your order. And, if you didn’t leave a stupendous tip, you’ll face a sad or blank facial expression lacking any verbal reaction or eye contact, making you feel horrible for standing your ground for inadequate service. But, it is not over; you now, upon finishing, need to collect your trash, wipe the table a second time, and make your way to the receptible (that probably hasn’t been emptied since the night before).
All of the café pleasure you expected evaporates, leaving you to wonder, “Why did I come here?”
It’s to the point that a special coffee and a tip—for nothing— quickly turn the corner with a $10 price. Do this a few times a week, and you will have a credit card bill at the end of the month, appearing as if you are an investor in their business.
On a recent visit to a well-known coffee chain, one which is facing their baristas (fancy name for a waitress or waiter; I still don’t know why they prefer ‘server;’ the title is so demeaning), to unionize, I heard a disgruntled employee, in front of a large number of customers, voice her complaints about the company. For lack of a better term, she appeared as a radically changed activist complaining about how syrup had to be poured into a bottle. Not sure about you, but have you noticed these types love the coffee business?
Only a few steps away, I chuckled while other customers within earshot expressed shock. The irreparable harm of this boisterous attack on her employer was compounded by the fact that she was the manager!
It doesn’t end here; many workers are looking for undeserved compensation, while business owners expect the public to pay for what they should be handling. It isn’t the public’s role to pay inflated wages for basic tasks that have always been part-time work for students or retirees. Such jobs are not careers; they supplement, not to replace, real employment opportunities.
Before anyone calls me cheap, I’d like to finish with a couple of examples.
When my expectations are met, my tipping for outstanding service (that is why most of us tip) is 25 percent, but I have to be impressed. If I feel I could do a better job than my server or they are disinterested in my satisfaction, I leave nothing more than a resounding “Thank you.” The reasoning behind this is I only reward achievement and success, leaving those without purpose and initiative to insult someone else. This anecdote leaves me to tell one last story.
I was in an independent coffee vendor location (by now, you probably realize I drink an enormous amount of coffee). I hadn’t tipped for my $9 drink because I had to do all of the cleaning and self-service mentioned earlier. But, while sitting and working on my laptop, I noticed what appeared to be a young college student—she later confirmed this, cleaning tables, sweeping, and then swabbing the floor; she also, in such short order, cleaned the windows. Now, mind you, she wasn’t smiling—I believe she would have preferred being behind the counter, but she was not dissuaded from putting all her effort into the tasks.
Noticing her sincerity in accomplishing her work, I finished my drink and once again cleaned up; I then walked over to her and asked if she had a moment. She complied, which allowed me to thank her for doing what isn’t a pleasant job but assured my frequent visits and patronage. I also told her I noticed she didn’t just go through the steps; the effort produced results. With that, I gave her $20, which she at first refused, making me more determined to show my appreciation. I said to her, “I’ve been there and done that; it builds character and will change your life for the better; because of this moment, your life and memories will change; always remember that rewards come in strange ways, and I hope someday when you are able you will pay forward like I am doing today.”
At this point, she couldn’t say no; she accepted and thanked me repeatedly, but I turned the table and said, “No, I thank you for a job well done,” and left feeling we both made a difference in how we view each other. H
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Blowing In The Wind
BY JAMES HOLDEN
There has been a tempestuous debate during the last four years over the topic of industrializing our oceans and prime harbor real estate in cities along the coast for the promised benefits of ‘Green Energy.’ If you live on or near the coastlines of Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, and New York, you have noticed and been concerned about how the advent of wind power is affecting the gorgeous and unobstructed views, migrating whales, clean and beautiful beaches, and essential fishing fleets. But fear not; there is plenty of excitement on the way and a real prospect of demolishing the plan for the continued use or further construction of this expensive and unproven source of energy. The data doesn’t lie, ‘Going Green— Takes Your Green!’
There is a tailwind moving public sentiment toward a new direction, with pushback on this alternative energy source coming on strong. Wind power hawks and a group of environmentalists of the previous administration, supported, propelled, touted and brought into the spotlight, promises that this new and improved technology would produce safe, clean, and economic power; it has been found to be a failure. And, finally, after congruence of missteps, questions are flooding in; “From what resources have
you relied upon in efforts to promote the benefits of Green Energy?”
In the Northeast, the industry is teetering on decline, followed by a second group of environmentalists battling in the Supreme Court against any further construction of turbines. Such actions are unusual; as odd as it sounds, there is a war taking place between two liberal ideologies that, under most pretenses, would be aligned.
Once, there were cheerleaders who propelled the belief that capturing the force of the wind would be efficient for generating energy for the grid and afford homeowners financial benefits, create employment, and add to much-needed tax revenue. They explained that by allowing international concerns and U.S. manufacturers to use our natural resource—the ocean, all lives would improve. Promises followed, claiming that building towering turbines would improve economies and lifestyles, never to cause harm to sea life, restrict fishing, or interfere with the historic vistas from New England extending to its southern neighbors, particularly the views from Newport beaches, the ‘Cliff Walk,’ and glorious mansions which bring millions upon millions of tourist’s dollars to the Ocean State.
Today, we are at a slack tide, waiting to see where the future of Green Energy initiatives flow.
With an unusually high number of
stranding and death of whales, their carcasses are continuously found rotting on the beaches. A shockingly unexpected disaster took place in July 2024 when turbine blades failed and littered our pristine seas and beaches. Outrage flourished, justifying a closer look at the faulty construction, followed by the government immediately halting further activity even though only a third of the project was completed. Some asked if this tragic failure was due to cost cutting, inferior design, and failed technology; was it an isolated incident or what the future holds for the life of the project?
More speculation came about when action was taken upon businesses operating ‘Fast Ferries’ or any other vessel larger than 35 feet in length. A weak argument connected to lackluster evidence suggested high incidences of whale deaths due to speed, suggesting that commuter boats to the islands could be culpable. Massachusetts officials quickly came to the rescue in an effort to distract or avoid any attribution of responsibility of whales being harmed by the construction and use of turbines by directing blame towards small vessels, suggesting through their actions, they pose a greater risk to mammals.
It wasn’t more than a few days after the speed of the Fast Ferries running between the mainland and islands off the coast were mandated to a speed 10 knots, it
was reversed a few days later. Obviously, money must have greased the stalled wheels of progress. It looked like a “Who’s on first” event. Nantucket residents claimed that millions of dollars would be lost if the Fast Ferries are forced to slow down while crossing areas of migrating mammals. Oddly, this would only be during the off-season when fewer and fewer travelers use the ships. Proponents for rejecting the restriction highlight that because it takes a little longer to arrive at the destination during the fall, winter, and spring, tourists wouldn’t make the journey. This is troubling because, from first-hand knowledge, we know that the Cross Sound Ferries, having many more ‘slow-boat’ excursions from New London, Connecticut to Orient Point, Long Island, stay busy enough during the same period, not only transporting vacationers, but workers and cargo. The average ride is about one hour to 20 minutes, but it does run longer at times. Even under these conditions, few, if any travelers go elsewhere for their transportation needs. Such facts question the veracity of Massachusett’s argument. Adding to the speculation, in a recent article found in a Cape and Islands newspaper, employees operating highspeed vessels stated they have not hit or encountered the species that is claimed to need protecting. Here is a quote. “Since the rule was first proposed in 2022,
the leaders of the Steamship Authority and Hy-Line Cruises have repeatedly emphasized that their vessel captains had never encountered a protected species in Nantucket Sound. ‘In the 22 years since we’ve been running highspeed service for both (Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard) routes—500,000 trips back and forth between the two islands—during that time, none of our crews have documented seeing any right whales in the Sound,’ ” Steamship Authority general manager Bob Davis said in 2022.
With this information, perhaps the question should be, if the boats aren’t killing whales, what is?
Will wind power sourced from our coast last? It will be at the discretion of the new administration; with most signs indicating an overhaul, reduction, or complete annihilation of the business of ocean-based turbines.
Truly, this isn’t a single-source issue; it is one of common sense. Communities such as New Bedford saw a shiny object and bit at it. Investing and focusing on a get-rich scheme may not pay the expected dividend, leading us to ask questions such as, “Why don’t leaders focus on what is working, pump up tourism, art, and fishing? And how about taking that vast land resource of harbor-front property and doing something that generates international attention?”
This is an opportunity to pull out of a
The data doesn’t lie, ‘Going Green— Takes Your Green!’
failed dream; it is time to invite in a casino operator ready and willing to build, wave a flag at a resort development group who would be willing to construct high-end condos with a white cloth restaurant and club, with the stipulation they build market-rate apartments—not near the water, but for employees, which solves two problems. Advertise to the ‘big boys’ who know what they are doing rather than trying to keep development close to the vest into the hands of the less experienced, we know how that ends.
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to thrive, create jobs, and provide housing for all—if done properly and transparently. On another note, if you want that other failed before it gets started project, (the train) to have any chance of success, give people exciting reasons to use it; in little time, everyone will want to see what the big white whale looks like.
The SouthCoast needs this type of development, and so does New Bedford. It’s time to become a player like other fishing-based towns and cities around the nation; host major conventions, provide state-of-the-art entertainment and lifestyle activities that keep people interested while improving everyone’s outlook; become a major transportation hub by looking to expand or build a new airport—honestly, money and the rich are not your enemies!
It is time local and state leaders show up, or better candidates run for office, with the understanding that promoting poverty doesn’t work; giving people jobs, self-respect, and showing them a future is always a winning proposition.
Roll the dice, New Bedford; we think you could get onto a winning streak. H
Major Liquation Sale Announcement
Calling Artists, Custom Picture Framers & Entrepreneurs Looking For A Unique Opportunity
A well-established regional chain of custom picture-framing shops and art galleries is liquidating its entire inventory of artwork, framing equipment, and store fixtures from multiple retail locations. The inventory to be sold includes Artwork, Custom Frames [finished and lengths], Equipment, Materials, and Supplies.
The contents of this sale will be offered to independent shops, artists, and those interested in purchasing the contents, which would allow the establishment of a home-based business or one or more retail locations.
› Art Work from local and regional artists
› Nautical Charts for Mounting
› Custom Frames & Moldings
› Glazing, Matting, & Backing Materials [regular and conservation]
› Hand Tools, Supplies & Equipment
› Nail Guns
› Multiple Sized Framing Tables
› Retail Counters
› Signage, Registers, Cash Boxes
› Chairs, Shelving & Displays for Jewelry and Collectables
› Mat and Glass Cutters
› MORSO Frame Mittering Cutters
› Framing Clamps
› Like New DRYTAC HOT PRESS with Stand
› Hand Press Machine
› Silent Compressor [only sold with associated equipment]
› Hosing for Pneumatic Equipment
› Finished Wall Panels for Displaying Corner Samples
› Laminators & MORE
The sale location is in Fall River, Massachusetts, and viewing is by appointment only. This is not a retail sale; larger purchasers will be given priority to visit for a preview; we reserve the right to require minimums.
All sales are CASH ONLY, PLUS APPLICABLE SALES TAX [except with a valid tax-exempt number/document from your state]
Delivery is not included; however, transport equipment from the warehouse to the loading dock
Purchases must be removed on the day of sale—no exception No expressed or implied warranties apply to purchases
All sales are final—no refunds or credits; as found, where found
To arrange an appointment, indicate your interest in specific items and/or equipment, or for more information, email fletcher.company@yahoo.com
• Depart from New Bedford’s historic waterfront; a short walk to downtown New Bedford’s many restaurants, boutique shops, museums & galleries.
• Enjoy the gorgeous views of Buzzards Bay as you make your way to the laid back island of Cuttyhunk.
• Friday Night Sunset Cruises! Breathtaking scenery, comfortable accommodations, not to be missed excursion.
CuttyhunkFerryco.com
*WINTER: OCTOBER 15, 2024-APRIL 28, 2025
Depart New Bedford
* CALL FOR ADDITIONAL
WEATHER NOTE: IF SEVERE WEATHER IS PREDICTED, IT IS ADVISABLE TO CALL IN ADVANCE OF DEPARTURE FOR POSSIBLE SCHEDULING CHANGES. 508.992.0200
RESERVATIONS ARE REQUIRED FOR ALL PASSENGERS AND FREIGHT
To get a ticket you must have a reservation through our online reservation system. No charge for children 2 years and younger. The office must be notified at the time of ticket purchase about each child 2 years and under that will be traveling with you, in order to accurately count all persons on board the vessel. Dogs, on leash, are welcome at no charge. For non-web or special group payments and for check, cash or different form of payment, please email reservations@cuttyhunkferryco.com or call 508.992.0200. You can leave a message and your reservation will be held.
Sara Farland | Christian Farland | Fatima Simas | Nona Sbordone | Lori Pacheco Tom Pratt | Yasmin Aponte | Brooke Riley | Diane Tomassetti
Listed by: Tom Pratt Team Member: Yasmin Aponte