For Pet’s Sake: Adopting Any Pet Requires a Sense of Humor Ingrid Braulin - Grantham, NH
I
was supposed to be writing an article about animals and burns when a friend asked me to write something about needing a sense of humor when you adopt a pet. I figured, with everyone still trying to cope with all of 2020, I’d put burns on the back burner for next time and try to help make your lives just a tad lighter. No doubt about it, whether you adopt a parrot, cat, dog, rabbit, or anything else it requires some re-adjusting of your responsibilities, your lifestyle, and the re-tooling of your sense of humor. Especially if you have one of two conditions: 1. You have never had a pet before; 2. You are a senior citizen like me, looking to recapture the good old days. Whenever I hear from a client that they are adopting a new pet or adding to their stable of non-human friends, I hope they are prepared for some lifestyle changes. I hope they researched it and are certain they are ready to take on this new addition/s. This is not only for their sake and the sake of all those around them but also for the pet’s sake. Needless to say, the internet is awash with all kinds of great hints and lessons but also some pretty gnarly and useless ones. I’m going to try to walk you through some of the more important things to remember that they conveniently miss. You should NOT under any circumstances even consider taking on a pet whether parrot, cat, dog, muskrat, turtle, etc. without being absolutely certain of its specific expected longevity. Example: there are over-filled shelters for parrots and cockatoos in America because their owners did not stop to think: “I’m 60 and this bird will more than likely outlive me by at least another 40 years.” Dogs and cats have been put to sleep in shelters because
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their older owners ended up dying or going to a non-pet-friendly nursing home and no one wanted their 10-year-old Schnauzer. It is important that if you DO take on a pet, that you have a succession plan. Who (in their right mind, in writing, and ahead of time) promises that they will care for the animal should you no longer be able to do so? Include your pet, no matter what your age, in your will. Try to leave an amount of money to cover some of the cost of your pet’s care. You have no idea how much that endears you to the heart of the pet’s eventual caregiver. It will give you and them, peace of mind. Oh, and make sure you tell the future pet-parent of their good fortune ahead of time. Please, no awkward surprises. A puppy? A kitten? Really? Good luck with that! My favorite calls were from retired folks who just got a Lab Retriever, a parakeet, or a kitten. After all, they had one when they were first married in their 20’s and “just knew this is what they wanted.” Oh Boy! Let us not even discuss the sleepless nights, the boundless energy, the constant cleaning up-after, and the expense! “Oh, we figure we’ll just take him with us when we travel.” A PUPPY? A bird? A kitten? Even most full-grown cats will drive you crazy after 10 minutes in the car. So be prepared. This decathlon of babyhood you will be undertaking might last only 2-3 years, but it will age you at least 5. There are all kinds of things you will need to think about for a “baby” pet, all the training you MUST undertake to be on the same page; the physical strength and endurance you will need to provide it with exercise and stimulation (no, puppies do not come with a cuddly bed and fireplace where they lie for hours on end, not disturbing you). Then you will need patience and humor for all the “funny, cute, ha-ha” things they do like peeing on your best quilt…the cat, chewing your 1950’s comic book collection-the rabbit, shrieking for hours for attention…the parrot, and taking the raw filet steak off the kitchen counter when you turned your back…that “sweet” retriever puppy. Do not howl in pain or anger…they don’t get it and besides, you’ll frighten the dog into submissive peeing or the cat in hiding under your king-sized bed never to be seen again, or the parrot turning your finger into a snack. You’ll just have to put a hearty tone into your chuckle and tell your spouse and neighbors, “Isn’t that cute?” In two earlier segments, I spoke about Fall 2020
