Gift Guide
Milwaukee
Defining Culture. Fashion. Lifestyle.
Construction? That’s all just water under the bridge now
1935 North Water Street
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4PM Milwaukee Issue 10
november/december 2010
Contents conversation
Editor’s Letter 04
Upfront HEALTH & FITNESS
06 Jipped by the Gym 08 Solid Gold
Food & Drink
Living
10 Wine & Dine 12 Say Cheers!
4 Play
14 Irrational Devotion: The Fetish
Home & Away
16 Staycation
Q&A Showtime
18
All Access Max, Tucker Game On!
20 22
conversations Fashion
Rants & Raves Happy HoliDaze
28 Sittin’ Pretty 39 Holiday Mourning
64
Image
Style
36 The Man Behind the Hair 38 Cat Call
Gear
34 The Flurry Fad
Scene
Gifts Worst The Gift of Giving Gifting on the Sly Pass it On
24 Madison Meals 26 Clean Sweep 44 46 48 50
FEATURE Calendar
ENTOURAGE
62 November & December
Night Sights
51 Pictures from the Scene 4PMmag.com NOV/DEC 2010
03
upfront Letter
masthead
Editor’s letter
Editor in chief Brandon brown
Hey, I’m Matt E, Assistant Editor here at 4PM. I’ve been here longer than anyone except for the main man himself, Brandon (or as I like to call him, Daddy #1) and here we are, issue ten. I’ll spare you the ‘look how far we’ve come’ pat on the back, but, seriously kids, a good many hard working and extremely attractive people come through every time in the clutch to make sure there’s swagger on every page. It’s taken a lethal amount of blood, sweat, caffeinated beverages, hard liquor and heated emails typed in all caps to do it, but we’re still here. Scratch that, we’re here and we’re always evolving. High five to all the people who have ever graced our masthead, you guys have all carried this thing from the primordial ooze into the double digits and made it stand tall on two legs.
ART/Photography director t. h. taylor Design Director bryon eser Chief Of operations Kyle Blades Managing Editor ADAM VanderVeen ASSISTANT EDITOR MATT EHRMANN Pamela Plante GRAPHIC DESIGN Angie Adamczyk Danny Mancuso BRAND BROKERS Dustin barker Jarred Penkalski dot com editor Jeffrey G. Winzenried, Jr. WRITERS Kyle Blades Leah Busse Casey Cuene Amanda Ford Danielle Gaquin Melissa Glenn Katie Schuppler Randall Sharpe Jennifer Stinnett Michelle williamson Jeffrey G. Winzenried, Jr. stylists Heidi Calaway michelle williamson PHOTOGRAPHERs Joshua A. Benishek Jake Gundrum john Knappe MIKE Krukowski Ben Lambert seville media T.H. Taylor Adam Vanderveen The furious brothers Illustration chad EDWARDS
Contact us
www.4PMmag.com Brandon@4pmmag.com
Copyright 2010 © 4PM Magazine, LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted wholly or partly without prior permission in writing from 4 Play Magazine (4PM). All material and information, which appears on the 4PM Magazine, is presented for informational purposes only. 4PM Magazine presents all data as is, without any warranty or any kind, express or implied, and is not liable for its accuracy, for mistakes, errors, or omissions of any kind, nor for any loss or damage caused by a user’s reliance on information obtained in the information. 4PM takes no responsibility as to the accuracy of statements in any of our articles or advertising. We utilise independent writers, commissioned writers and reader responses to present us with ideas and informational material. 4PM does not assume liability for products or services advertised herein.
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It’s the holidays, and I know it is because they’ve hung up those scary, pointy decorations above every intersection in the downtown area and I’m sure this year it’s going to amount to at least a few fatalities. I was thinking about last New Year’s and what I did (hazy but I remember seeing people being wheeled out of Toppers on stretchers) and I realized 2010 blew by at light speed. Have I been doing enough living? Have you? The only New Year’s resolution anyone needs is to do more living. Take risks, act crazy, and most of all, make it count. Time is all you have, and it’s finite. Give yours value. How does Brandon usually end the Editors Note? Live it...Love it...but most of all....I forget. Good night.
Matt E
Jipped by the gym Work the Gym Before you Workout. By Jeffrey Winzenried • Photography Seville Media
08 SEPT/OCT 2010
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Living Health & Fitness
As winter approaches, getting fit is probably the last thing see group exercise rooms, gymnasiums, a track and perhaps tennis on your mind. Most are spending time with friends and family, going to courts and pools like at Le Club. Offering a larger range of classes sweater parties, and of course stuffing their faces. We understand that and programs allows them to meet the needs of a larger demographic. making unhealthy holiday choices this season is inevitable. Deciding More luxurious locker rooms also add value. The hours of health clubs on a gym doesn’t have to be one of them. When you’re ready to work are more restricted but they are staffed at all times to ensure customer off the leftovers, make sure you’re equipped with our gym membership service and safety. There is a sense of belonging to small community buyer’s guide so you can make the best decision possible. rather than a fitness facility. If you are looking for social networking The first question you should ask yourself is, “What do I really want?” while exercising, then a health club might be a better fit. Are you looking for convenience or guidance? Does the idea of an 18 Specialty gyms are even pricier, but you get what you pay for with the month contract scare you? Would you rather go month-to-month? instructor’s knowledge. They cater to a very specific group of people Would group fitness classes persuade your purchase or is personal with a greater emphasis on intense exercise. Places like Crossfit training an okay alternative? Do you just need a place to do your Milwaukee have package pricing for the classes and programs they cardio and lift weights or are you offer as well as personal training looking for an entire health club sessions, but they will run you a experience? Is price the biggest pretty penny. Places like Monkey contributing factor? Once you’ve Bar Gymnasium in Madison 24 Hour Gyms (24hr Fitness, Anytime Fitness, Snap Fitness) answered these questions, figure specialize in bodyweight and • Convenient hours (24/365) out what type of gym is best for suspension training which • Lower monthly rates (estimated between $35-40) you. To help decide this, we’ve is growing in popularity. At • Typically a 12 – 18 month commitment identified three basic categories these types of gyms, you will • Lower number of members of gyms. be purchasing sessions and (estimated between 500 – 1500 total members) 24 hour gyms are convenient classes rather than working out • Personal Training (Yes), Group Fitness Classes (No) and meet the needs of many on your own. • Ability to travel and use membership on vacation or business (Yes) individuals with hectic schedules. If they all sound appealing, feel These gyms are designed to be free to try them all. Most gyms, Health/Sports Club (WAC, LA Fitness, Gold’s Gym) hands off, so someone who is no matter which type, will offer • Typical weekly hours a novice might not fit well here. a complimentary one week trial. (Monday – Thursday: 5am – 11pm, Friday: 5am – 10pm) There are many hours where the Once you think you know which • Typical weekend hours (Saturday/Sunday: 8am – 8pm) facility will go unstaffed so the one you like, question the details • Typically monthly rate ($40 - $50 per/month) member must be comfortable and ask for options or purchase • Higher number of members working out on their own. Access incentives. It never hurts to ask (estimated between 2000 – 10,000 members) to gyms is provided using a for a free t-shirt, to waive the • Personal Training (Yes), Group Fitness Classes (Yes) special electronic device called initial membership fee, or even • Racquet ball, basketball courts, pool, sauna, whirlpool (Yes) a key fob and it is linked to the get a couple of complementary • Ability to travel and use membership on vacation or business computer to keep track of who personal training sessions. The (Yes) enters the building. Some gyms membership manager usually will charge for this device upon has room to budge on items Specialty Gyms (Monkey Bar Gym, CrossFit, NXlevel, Fight Clubs) joining, which costs about $30. like start up fees or promotional • Average weekly hours The great thing about chain products, so don’t take no for (Monday- Friday 5:30-7:30, weekends vary) gyms like Anytime Fitness is an answer. Tell them you want • Package pricing ranges from about $100/8 classes and up being granted access to all some free stuff! Make them work • Personal Training (Yes), Group Training (Yes) their gyms around the country. hard to gain you as a customer. • Smaller number of clientele making you part of an elite group Memberships are either 12 If they are loyal to the gym they • Supportive and personable staff for individuals or 18 months and tend to run work for, they will be completely • Encourage and motivate for personal success about $35 per month. They have professional and strive to upfront payment options for a provide a high level of customer 10-15% discount off the total service. Remember, the price. Many 24 hour gyms also offer tanning for a low monthly rate or success of their gym is determined solely from the dedication of people per use. like you. Your success is measured by the level of commitment and Health clubs tend to be much larger and offer a wider variety of hard work you are able to give in return. Ultimately, you will get out options but they also charge a heftier monthly rate. Membership exactly what you are willing to put into your gym membership. So, includes access to the building but oftentimes you must pay extra to before you purchase, make sure that you are 100% positive on what participate in the classes or programs. They cater more to couples you want. Being sure will save you in the long run and defuse the and families because of the wide variety of amenities. You will tend to financial burden of an unused and invaluable gym membership.
QUICK COMPARISON
4PMmag.com NOV/DEC 2010
07
SOLID GOLD
LIVING HEALTH & FITNESS
Gold’s is setting the standard with a multi-level, iron pumping dream gym for rats. By Leah Busse
There are four words I dread hearing come out of my friends’ mouths: “I am so fat.” No matter how you respond to your buddy’s weighty statement, you’re screwed. Reassuring them that they look fine, and that pants with elastic waistbands are all the rage these days is a total lie. Agreeing with them will make you look like an insensitive jerkoff, so how does one let their friends know bras should only be worn by women without hurting their feelings in the process? Easy, grab a free VIP 7 Day Trial Membership to Gold’s Gym and invite them to try it out with you. The new downtown Milwaukee location is opening this December. It will be a 5 floor, 43,000 square-foot fitness utopia. In addition to traditional machines and classes that come with your standard health club, Gold’s Gym plans to offer its members a 20 meter, 3 lane saltwater swimming pool and a basketball half court. Still not ready to trade your double chin for chin-ups? Then maybe the Cardio Cinema will get you off of your couch and onto a stationary bike. If you plan on using the lack of parking downtown as an excuse to stay stagnant, think again; Gold’s Gym will provide a valet service for its members. If sweating to Love Actually isn’t really your forte, Gold’s Gym also offers a number of classes to help your skinny jeans look less like sausage casings. Pilates, Step Aerobics, Mixed Martial Arts, Yoga, Tai Chi, Core Strength Aqua Fitness and Zumba are all included in your monthly membership rate. All this talk of saltwater and movie bike-a-thons was making me sweat, so I headed over to the Waukesha Gold’s Gym to check it out. If you’re anything like me, you see the gold weightlifter logo and immediately think of overly tan, steroid-spiked sweaty dudes in midriff tank tops. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I passed through the doors and saw state of the art fitness machines occupied by people from every fitness level. In fact, the only tank tops I spotted in the place were worn by the bouncing ponytailed women on the treadmills. I was
immediately greeted at the front desk by Muscle Milk touting employees who were more than eager to tell me everything I needed to know about their facility, and attempt to lock me into a year contract. I opted for the trial membership and set out to get my fitness on. After getting a taste of everything Gold’s Gym has to offer, I have to say it was a pretty good experience. The free Body Pump class gave me a fulfilling workout in about an hour, and the Cardio Theatre kept me occupied as I ran off about a week’s worth of burritos. The only thing that gave me side cramps were the membership terms. The fees vary depending on what kind of membership you want and they automatically withdraw it from your checking account each month. Although they were running a special at the time, a $100 joining fee is still pretty steep. Also, because Gold’s Gym is a franchise, your membership is only good at the gym you signed up. This means that if you signed up at the Waukesha location but also wanted to use the downtown Milwaukee location, you would need to buy an entirely separate membership to do so. If you’re looking to show up everyone on Bradford Beach in your bikini or boardshorts next summer, Gold’s Gym is a good option to consider. The facility itself was immaculate, and I really enjoyed all of the free classes they offered. Although membership fees are higher than competitors like the WAC and YMCA, you’re definitely getting your money’s worth. Stop in at the new downtown location in December for that VIP 7 Day Trial Membership and Gold’s Gym might just prove they’re worth you and your friend’s pretty pennies.
Gold’s Gym Milwaukee 735 N. Water Street Suite M100 Milwaukee, WI 53202 4PMmag.com NOV/DEC 2010
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LIVING FOOD & DRINK
WINE & DINE Bringing the right wine to a dinner party. By Jennifer Stinnett • Photography The Furious Brothers
You’ve been invited to a great dinner party Saturday night with a few friends. You decide that it would be a nice touch to bring the wine. Way to go, you’re a big kid now. You’re also flooded with a mess of questions. What’s an appropriate price range? What kind of wine? Will the host open the wine that night or store it? Relax, the big kid in you also led you to 4PM, and we got your back. How much to spend? Always a tough question… Too pricey of a wine may go unappreciated or worse yet; the host doesn’t open the wine that night at the party. Spend too little and the gesture may go over as a kitschy joke. Price point is usually relevant to your budget, and the elegance of the party. In general, staying within the $12 - $25 dollar range for your average dinner party keeps you in the green zone. Keep the numbers in mind and realize you may need to bring more than one bottle with you. A bottle usually fills 4-6 glasses. Don’t forget that Jill from next door will be there and she can down a bottle all by herself. If you are bringing a wine bottle for the dinner portion of the party, go ahead and ask the host what the main entree will be. Pairing your wine with the entree is a great personal touch. It will also clarify to the host that the wine is meant to be served that night with dinner. Another interesting option is to bring a dessert wine; a nice dessert wine can complete a delicious dinner and it’s a safe choice when you don’t know what’s on the menu that night. Since dessert wines are somewhat sweeter and usually sipped at the end of the evening, you should get further with fewer bottles. Pairing is the hardest thing for most people. Even if you know the main entrée, you might not be a pairing expert. There’s a wealth of referencing material out there though. Many bottles of wine have pairing suggestions right on the back label. It’s like having a portable “Wine for Dummies” book with you in the liquor department. Wineries understand your dilemma and recommend dishes that go well with each of their 10 NOV/DEC 2010
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wines. If you really want to be prepared before you purchase, browse winery websites from home before shopping. Have you ever brought wine to a party where the host thanks you for the “gift” and places the wine in their wine rack? If you haven’t experienced this slap in the face yet, I’ll talk you through it. You spend the rest of the evening thinking, “When are they going to open the wine? I gave them the bottle for dinner. It’s expensive, uncork it damn it. Why aren’t they opening it?” You concentrate on that all night and everyone wonders why your frown isn’t upside down. To avoid this, use the strategy mentioned earlier and ask what the main entrée will be ahead of time. This way the host will know your intentions. Otherwise you can just own the room when you arrive and say that you hope everyone brought their party pants ‘cause you brought the party! Speaking of party pants, when is a good ol’ box of wine appropriate? Boxed wines do not hold the same negative stigma as in previous days. As wineries look to more sustainable ways to distribute their product, boxed wine has seen a tremendous upgrade in previous years. The shipping costs are reduced and the savings can be passed on to the consumer. With that said, it may still be too early to bring a box to that elegant affair. However, for a large party, an outdoor event, girls’ night, poker party or family gathering a big box can be perfect. Who know, after the first box, you might even forgo the cardboard and start pulling from the pouch. The main focus of a formal dinner party should be a delicious dinner, compelling conversation, and great company. Wine should be just viewed as frosting on the cake, but the right selection and the right amount can definitely help set the tone for the evening. It might also distinguish you as courteous and cultured, and get you invited back. So cheers to you for getting invited to the big kid party, and cheers to you for bringing the wine.
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Living Food & DRINK
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Living 4 Play
Irrational Devotion:
the FETISH The fancy of the fetish.
By Amanda Ford • Photography T.H. Taylor
While somewhat foreign to most of us, not only do fetishes exist, but there are literally thousands of them. You’ve heard of foot fetishes, food fetishes, even fetishes attached to certain articles of clothing (i.e. panty fetishes). Before we dive into some of the odd, obscure and downright offensive obsessions that you may not have heard of before, we should really cover some basic terminology. Without correct knowledge of the word ‘fetish’ it is easy to use it in ways that really aren’t appropriate. I mean, I really like shoes, but it wouldn’t at all be classified as a fetish in any definitive terms. For this article, we’ll look at two definitions of what we’re trying to describe. Merriam-Webster defines fetish as: Fetish (c): An object or body part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. Note that in this particular definition it states that this object, whatever it may be, must be present or it could inhibit sexual encounters. In psychological terms, the word paraphilia would actually be a more correct term to apply to the behaviors that we would normally label a “fetish.” Philia means friendship or love. Para means “above” or “beyond.” So, paraphilia means a sexual association with a nonsexual object, action, or thing. Generally speaking, a person who has a paraphilia is a person who has a sexual association with something that people normally don’t consider ‘socially acceptable.’ Any true kind of fetish is something that is psychologically classified as a paraphilia and can get in the way of someone’s regular life functions. It would also potentially be harmful to others. It could cause distress to the person who has a paraphilia because of the lack of social acceptance. This can lead to social avoidance and occupational dysfunction. To drive this point home, here are some paraphilias that have impacted a person’s life, via social awkwardness, interference with a job, or harm to himself or others. Objectophilia: As the name suggests, it’s an amorous connection to objects. In one example, a woman fell in love with the Berlin Wall. Her surname, Berliner Mauer, actually means “Berlin Wall” in German. 14 NOV/DEC 2010
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She took up the surname after she and the Wall married in 1979. She says she fell in love with ‘him’ when she saw ‘him’ on TV at age 7. There’s another woman named Erika Eiffel, who wed the Eiffel Tower in 2007. Psychologists believe that this type of paraphilia is linked to a lack of human love and contact when a person was a child. Formicophilia: This one really freaks me out because I cannot stand creepy-crawlies. It’s a form of Zoophilia, the sexual attraction to animals, where a person gets sexually aroused by having small insects, like ants or spiders, crawl over them and bite them. This includes putting the little guys on their genitalia. Part of the Formicophilia may also be inflicting another person with such an experience. Dacryphilia: A person who gets excited when someone is shedding tears or sobbing is diagnosed with Dacryphilia. This is most commonly seen in males. Arousal is often linked because the person suffering with Dacryphilia inflicts the emotional distress on another or causes that person to exhibit strong emotion. Fake crying doesn’t work; this person wants the other to actually suffer emotional or physical pain. Asphyxiophilia or Erotic Asphyxiation: This is when one partner literally gets off by being strangled and has a lot to do with the body’s natural response. The loss of oxygen to the brain and heart causes lightheadedness and sometimes even giddiness. This apparently heightens masturbatory sensations. Get this; the above reasoning came from studying hanging victims. Apparently, the first treatment for erectile dysfunction was actually asphyxiation and this was discovered because male hanging victims often showed an erection. We’ve really only scratched the surface with the many paraphilias that exist. The main concern is whether a fetish is harmful. A person with paraphilia can be at risk for emotional grief which often leads to mental distress because they are unable to carry out their fantasies. Those fantasies may even be illegal. The best treatment is most often a counselor. If you or anyone you know is suffering negative consequences of a paraphilia, it’s generally treatable. Ask your primary physician if he or she can refer you to a good psychologist or counselor. For alternative help, the Stress Management and Mental Health Clinics near Milwaukee is also a resource. Find their locations at www.stressmanagementclinic.com.
Living Home & Away
StayCation Entertainment is never far from home. By Danielle Gaquin
the biggest fads in penny pinching is the idea of a staycation. In fact, this new form of taking a vacation has become so popular, even Webster Dictionary recently added it to its collection. Simply put, a staycation is when people decide to relax close to home during their vacation time rather than travel to a distant destination. The benefits are clear; saving money while still enjoying all of the perks of escaping your hectic life. Living in the Midwest provides many opportunities to vacation close to home. Even as the temperature starts to drop, the choices that surround you are limitless. Visit Door County When many people think of Door County, warm weather and fun on the water comes to mind. Contrary to popular belief, this peninsula is full of life during the winter season. Whether you are looking for a romantic getaway at a private bed and breakfast, or a large cabin to stay at with friends, Door County has plenty to offer, and at a much cheaper rate during their off season. Tour and taste the wine at one of the county’s five beautiful wineries, or keep warm by the fireplace at many of the region’s classic pubs. Plan your perfect staycation by referencing Door County’s full calendar of upcoming events and specials at www.doorcounty.com. You can snowshoe their scenic trails, cozy up next to that special someone in a horse drawn sleigh, or try your hand at ice fishing on the frozen waters, but whatever you do, don’t let the fear of frostbite let you miss this wonderful staycation destination. Visit New Glarus Best known for its craft beer, New Glarus, located just a half hour south of Madison, is a great place to relax and explore. The snowmobile trails are endless, the sites are beautiful, and from the Swiss Historical Village Museum to the replica Swissland Miniature Golf course, their pride shows. New Glarus’ rich Swiss heritage is apparent at first sight. 16 NOV/DEC 2010
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The star of this staycation is the New Glarus Brewery Company. It’s the 21st largest Craft Brewery in the U.S., but performs like number one. Tour the facilities while enjoying one of their seasonal brews and top off your taste buds by checking out one of the many cheese stores in New Glarus or neighboring Monroe. Some shops even offer tours to see how the cheese is made. No matter what type of treats you seek you’ll be sure to find them here. This tiny town offers a big experience. Cross the Border to Ironwood, Michigan Looking for more of a challenge than the local suburban ski hill? Ironwood, Michigan, is the place to go. It boasts many beautiful hills for skiing or boarding. This place is definitely a spot where outdoor lovers can rejoice. Two of the larger resorts in the area are Big Powderhorn Mountain and Indianhead Mountain Resort. Both resorts offer fun on the hills, as well as luxurious lodging to help you relax after a long day of activities. The combined indoor and outdoor amenities at both of these mountains help you find a home away from home, and vacation spot all in one. If someone in the group is a little less adventurous, they can find many things close by to occupy their time. Three large casinos offer a perfect place to escape the cold, and Ironwood’s Historic Downtown area offers any avid shopper everything from retro antique shops to cozy gift shops and bookstores. No matter what you’re looking for in your dream staycation, you are sure to find it here. Everyone’s tastes are different, but the good news is there are plenty of places to appease anyone. The key to a great staycation is no further than the internet. There are ample websites out there to lead you to activities you never would have thought of doing, so don’t let a lack of winter destinations be an excuse to hibernate this season. Next time you have a long weekend, take a staycation.
Conversation Q&A
ShOWTIME! Milwaukee’s own champion in the ring and reality star sets out on a new venture. By Adam VanderVeen • Photography www.uscombatsports.com
I recently sat down with WEC fighter, Anthony “Showtime” Pettis. If you don’t know Anthony, take the time to check him out on YouTube. He’s been impressing local fight fans for the past few years, and finally got a break in the big leagues when the WEC invited him to fight in June of 2009. Since then, he’s gone 4-1 in the organization, and is preparing for a title fight against lightweight champion Ben Henderson on December 16th. You might also recognize Pettis’ name from the new MTV show, World of Jenks. For one of the episodes, documentary filmmaker, Andrew Jenks, lived with Anthony for two weeks leading up to his WEC fight against Danny Castillo. As if bringing a nationally televised documentary to this town and being the first to represent this city in a WEC title fight isn’t enough, Pettis just opened up Showtime Sportsbar, the nation’s first MMA sports bar, across the street from our beloved Bradley Center. What have you done for your city lately? 4PM: We’re in Roufusport MMA Academy right now… Anthony Pettis: Yea, we’re in the kids side of Roufusport. We just opened this up this last summer. We opened it up for kids kickboxing and Jiu Jitsu. We also have a second location in Oak Creek, mainly for kids 5 years old to 13 and at 13, they move into our adult program so it kinda advances all into each other. So if a kid wants to start young, they can go all the way to a professional MMA fighter or do something they can be involved with for a long time like I did. 4PM: How often do you coach? AP: When I’m not fighting, I’m usually in Oak Creek, and I come down here (76th & Bluemound) once a week. So I’m usually 3 days a week in Oak Creek and one day a week here, so 4 days a week I’m coaching. But when I’m in training camp, it’s just straight training. 4PM: Is coaching something you would want to transition into full time when your fighting career ends? AP: Definitely, when my fighting career’s over I wanna be coaching kids, I wanna be coaching fighters. You know, pretty much what Duke does, I wanna do. 4PM: What do you think is the biggest contributing factor to you being a successful fighter? AP: I think the biggest thing is my drive man, like I’m here every day. Even when I’m winning fights, I come back to the gym on Monday. I’m here getting better all the time. I just like being here. It’s not like I’m saying “I wanna be the biggest star in MMA”, I mean I just wanna get better. I just wanna prove that I can be the best and compete at the top level. And MMA gives us the stage to do it. I did it in Tae-Kwon-Do, but no one watches that. Now I can do it in MMA and everyone can see what I do. Last year I was the same Anthony Pettis I am this year, but people just got to see on TV, so now it’s just getting a little more 18 NOV/DEC 2010
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credibility for it. So I really don’t let that go to my head at all, I’m here every day doing the daily grind. 4PM: What is different from last year is you decided to open a bar [Showtime Sportsbar]. How and when did that come up? AP: We were actually talking about that for a while. It was me and Duke [Roufus] initially. We just had the idea because there are no MMA sports bars around at all, like bars dedicated to fighting. So the idea was floating around, Duke has a friend that’s in the nightclub industry and he approached us with a deal that we just couldn’t refuse, and we were like, “Hey, let’s make it happen”. 4PM: Are you going to let events drive your business or do what that location (1118 N 4th St) has traditionally done and thrive off of the Bradley Center? AP: We’re gonna do a mixture of both. I mean no matter what we’re going to get a Bradley Center crowd because it’s the biggest stadium in Milwaukee. So we’re going to get that crowd, but on top of that we have events that we will host. All the UFC’s, WEC’s, fighters coming into town, we know a lot of people so if we need an event, it’s there, if not the Bradley Center helps. 4PM: Are there any food and drink specials? AP: Yea yea, Wednesday nights for UFC we have 25 cent wings and all you can drink domestics for 10 bucks. Sundays is the same with 25 cent wings and we have Bloody Mary specials and a whole bunch of Sunday football specials. 4PM: How important is it to be able to train with guys close to your level like Danny [Downes], Erik [Kock], and Chicro [Camus]. AP: It’s essential. You can only get so good sparing with a heavyweight or sparring with bigger guys. So bringing in Chico, “Danny Boy” Downes, Marcus LeVesseur here. We’re bringing in good southpaw guys that are my size that are good wrestlers, so without that, I wouldn’t get a good feel on who I’ll be fighting in the cage. 4PM: I could see a lot of guys seeing it as a privilege to come train here. AP: It definitely is, but before it wasn’t that. Before it was hard to get guys to come, but now that we have some big name fighters coming out of this gym, people want to come train here. 4PM: What can people expect out of this next fight? AP: This next fight, I’m putting everything scan for all an access video. ▼ I’ve got into it. I wanna bring a championship back to Milwaukee. I wanna bring MMA to Milwaukee and me winning the belt will bring a [WEC] event to the Milwaukee. So I win the belt, we have an event at the Bradley Center and we can all go to Showtime Sportsbar after.
CONVERSATION ALL ACCESS
MAX, TUCKER The self described drunken asshole we can’t get enough of. By Kyle Blades
When I left for Iraq in 2008, I said goodbye to my friends for what could have been the last time (Marine Corps Infantry is no Boy Scouts!). Amongst the tearful farewells, my friend Annie handed me a present, which I expected to be some sort of sincere epitaph to our friendship. I cracked a smile when I opened the present to find Tucker Max’s “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” enclosed. I hoped it wasn’t some sort of morbid foreshadowing, but as I read the book, I quickly realized why Annie had bought it for me. Two years later, I would have a chance to sit down with the author who seemed to epitomize my life on many levels. My head raced with a million questions that all centered on the fact that we had lived such similar lives, but somehow, he became a bestselling author, while I still struggle to make ends meet. For anyone who hasn’t immediately dismissed his writings as childish boasting, it becomes very apparent that there is a substantial amount of brainpower behind Tucker’s stories of mischief. I wondered how much of the Tucker Max we read about is a crafted persona and how much is a simple projection of his actual self. I admit that going into the interview, I never believed that Tucker made up any of his stories. I know this is a theory, but I’ve lived so many similar and crazier stories that it is very easy to believe they were fabricated. Furthermore, I think I would simply be heartbroken if I found out it was 20 NOV/DEC 2010
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all a ruse. That being said, if there is a line between the persona of Tucker Max and the real Tucker Max, I could not find it. From the time we sat down, until he started signing autographs, he never once seemed to be anyone other than himself. However, like all human beings, his demeanor changed and fluctuated with his setting. His longtime friend, Nils Parker, was at the interview and when they spoke you got the sincere sense of a longtime friendship. As Tucker and I began talking, his initial answers seemed canned and practiced. As the interview wore on, the dialogue transformed from questions and answers to a true conversation. And finally, when he stood up in front of a few hundred fans for a Q&A session, you saw Tucker swell with the energy that comes from being the center of attention. As I watched these different iterations of Tucker, I began to realize his true genius. It’s not that Tucker was that different from any other young man trying to chase tail and drinking himself into oblivion. What makes Tucker so smart is that he foresaw that his crazy stories would relate to millions of other men just like him. While this realization might not have come as a smack to the face, he was able to catch glimpses of momentum and capitalize on them. He repeatedly points out that the difference between him and all the other drunken assholes of the world is that he “did it when it mattered.” And therein lies the beauty of what Tucker has done. He didn’t fabricate stories that he
knew would attract millions of readers, he didn’t set out to create a new genre of books and he certainly didn’t invent a self-glorified persona of himself. All Tucker did, was realize that he represented a demographic of men that wasn’t being spoken to. He represented the millions of men that lead perfectly normal lives but have a few stories of drunken debauchery of their own. He allowed himself to become our own projection of our glory days. That’s pretty fucking deep for a drunken asshole, but as we look to what draws us to Tucker, it becomes apparent that it’s really not about him. I never would have spent my few free hours in Iraq reading his book if I couldn’t relate to his stories. I never would have had the giddy excitement to interview someone that didn’t seem to glorify my life choices. I went into the interview to learn about Tucker and came out realizing that my man crush was not because of who he was, but simply because he validated who I was. Like I said, pretty fucking deep for a bunch of drunken assholes! Tucker’s new book “Assholes Finish First” came out in scan for all an access video. September. ▼ Wonder why you should read it? Check out this video:
CONVERSATION ALL ACCESS
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CONVERSATION ALL ACCESS
GAME ON! Behind the scenes of the Milwaukee Admirals By Randy Sharpe • Photography Joshua A. Benishek
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9:00 a.m. Milwaukee, WI. It’s game day at the Bradley Center, home of our beloved Admirals. The stadium is a beehive of activity. The team and staff are diligently preparing for tonight’s game against their rival the Chicago Wolves, and we are here to document their efforts. My editor Adam, a photographer, our liaison Pamela, who is French Canadian and therefore an expert on all things hockey, as well as yours truly, have arrived at the team offices. We’re going to spend the day familiarizing ourselves with what it takes to get an AHL hockey team, the Admirals are the AHL affiliate of the NHL’s Nashville Predators, ready for game time. We meet with Charlie Larson, the team’s V.P. of Communications, for a little Q and A session before we head over to the Bradley Center for our All Access tour. Charlie explains to us in his mild accent that the team will be practicing all morning. After we checkout the belly of the Bradley Center beast, we will attend the on ice practice and see the team’s facilities. Due to our VIP status, we are escorted through the back door, into the long white corridor that wraps around the building, hiding the inner workings of this modern hockey arena. The game is ten hours away and Charlie is a very busy man, he guides us towards a hallway game of soccer that the players engage in before hitting the ice. We were a bit surprised by this, but Charlie explains that this is how they get their legs prepared for the speed of the ice and in an instant he is off to his next meeting in preparation for tonight’s battle. Left to our own devices, we decide the time has come to make a trip to the Visitor’s bench. 10:00 a.m. approaches and morning practice is about to be under way. The cold that rolls up from the surface is a bit unnerving, but this is a hockey arena and the game is played upon ice. Temperatures
CONVERSATION ALL ACCESS
down here are a far cry from the comforts of the 200’s and I instantly regret not bringing a sweatshirt. This is when Pamela jabs, “If you were Canadian, you would have planned ahead”. Charlie strolls up to give us a few warnings and a little hockey guidance as the players launch onto the surface. “Watch for pucks, do NOT go on the ice Randy, and pay attention to their game plan”. Then, like a ghost, saunters off trailing, “Let me know when you want to see the locker room”. As the team splits off and begins warm ups, the athletic prowess of these kids becomes immediately apparent. Pucks fly everywhere, men dash across the ice in pursuit of the black rubber disc, goalies do the splits as if it was the Olympics, this is no small feat as these guys have on 40+ lbs. of gear and are moving at a reckless rate of speed. Charlie appears from behind the red curtain and shouts, “Let’s go check out the locker room while the guys practice”. His timing could not have been better, as I had paid entirely too much attention to the night’s game plan and could have been detained as a spy. As we strolled into the locker room, it’s apparent that the team takes care of its players. It was filled with amenities not to be found in any old locker room. In his attempts to film all of this, Adam nearly stepped upon the vaunted Admirals logo, which we were soon to find out is a fifty dollar fine for any player caught unaware. Oddly enough there is no “locker room smell”. This is attributed to recent renovations and the Equipment Manager’s care of the players’ gear. We spent a good amount of time with him discussing stick taping preferences, blade sharpening, jersey care and all things hockey equipment, but practice
was nearing its end and it was time to exit the locker room. As we stepped into the hall we ran into the Admirals play-by-play announcer Aaron Sims and discussed the proper way to pronounce the word hockey, since our Canadian liaison was saying it all wrong. He set us straight and we allowed him to get on with his interviews for the day. Dinner for the staff and media begins at 5:30; tonight is taco night! The chicken enchilada soup was surprisingly good and the tacos didn’t kill us either. Everyone is completing their pre-game duties; interns checking headsets, media discussing tactics and injuries, the puck kids doing whatever it is that they do and us, 4PM magazine soaking it all in. We have a brief discussion with Matt Moore the team’s P.A. announcer who does a little intro for us before we are off to watch the last minute preparations. Another game of soccer is under way on the fourth floor, but we do not disturb them as the guys seem pretty focused. We head down below the stands and watch the Zamboni machines preparing the ice, students working frantically on the pirate ship for the team’s introduction, and the hustle and bustle of the staff as the puck will be dropping shortly. 7:00 scan for all an access video. p.m.: Game Time! The day went off without ▼ a hitch and another season of Admirals hockey is underway, so get your butts in the Bradley Center and cheer for your Milwaukee Admirals! Scan to see how the Admirals 4PMmag.com NOV/DEC 2010
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STYLE SCENE
MADISON MEALS Finding fine dining in madison
By Jennifer Stinnett • Photography Adam VanderVeen
Wonder where all the restaurants are in Madison? Heard rumors that Madison has zero to offer when it comes to fine dining? It may appear that fine dining doesn’t exist in Madison. On the surface, this might be right, but in reality, it couldn’t be further from the truth. I started investigating these rumors by checking in with a couple locals. Since I’m a hands-on (or food in mouth) kind of person, I asked my friends Diane and Jessica to meet me at Restaurant Muramoto for lunch. While looking over the menu, I played devil’s advocate and provoked, “So Diane, I hear there isn’t fine dining in Madison!” Silence. I had to look up to make sure she heard me. That’s when Diane started in on what fine dining means for Madison and its residents. Madison’s fine dining is not about décor or fashion. It’s about the true culinary experience. Five star meals take on a different meaning here. They incorporate Madison’s culture; sustainability and buying local. You won’t find a lot of chain restaurants; you will find unique, high end, delicious local gourmet food. Chefs in Madison make sure they buy local, seasonal and fresh ingredients. Dress code? Not in
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Madison, and that’s where someone might mistake a fine restaurant as an average family diner. I was able to reach out to Craig Madigan, proprietor, sommelier and general manager for Johnny DELMONICO’s. I posed the same question to him as I did Diane. He frankly responded, “Tell that to the gentlemen who is flying in this evening to eat here, or the 300 plus guests that will walk through our doors tonight”. I had to chuckle because I love pushing buttons. Madigan told me on an average evening he will host the Badger game crowd as well as those heading out to the theater to see “Wicked”. That’s quite a variance in patrons, but they are all there for the same reason, the culinary experience. Want to taste the best Madison has to offer for yourself? Here are a few suggestions: Restaurant Muramoto: This restaurant utilizes a hip Asian Fusion style of cooking. Shinji Muramoto’s recipes hail from Japan and provide Madison with unique tastes and creative presentation. I love coming to this place every chance I get; from their Kobe Tartar to their Ginger-
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Lemongrass Cured Salmon (when in season), you’ll be impressed with their ambiance and wonderful presentation. Don’t forget to try many of the unique Sake varieties available to pair with whatever you choose. Johnny DELMONICO’S Steakhouse: When stepping into this establishment, I’m reminded of an east coast steakhouse. Its fine white linens and classic steak entrées cooked to perfection will keep you coming back. When Johnny DELMONICO’S has a special chef and wine dinner, the ingredients are purchased from the Madison Farmer’s Market. Tasting their steaks, seafood creations and entrées of Port Wine Short Ribs or Herb and Goat Cheese Stuffed Chicken Breasts makes this a worthy destination. L’Etoile: Recognized by Food & Wine Magazine and the New York Times Style Magazine, it’s easy to see how they’ve been a fine dining establishment in Madison for over 30 years. L’Etoile features local, organic and naturally raised ingredients rendered with French
technique. Trained at the French Culinary Institute, Chef Tory Miller comes to Madison after a tour with several high-end restaurants in New York. For a truly intimate experience with Chef Tory, make a reservation for one of the L’Etoile Oenophile Series dinners, held only six to nine times a year. Chef Tory’s five course meal is paired with choice wines and is truly a culinary experience of five star proportions. Harvest Restaurant: This restaurant was recently named one of America’s Top Farm-to-Table Restaurants by Gourmet Magazine. Executive Chef Derek Rowe brings his constantly evolving creations to his guests’ tables in creative style. He has Madison roots but worked and learned in both New York and Chicago. He relishes in the challenge of putting together a first-class seasonal menu during Wisconsin’s winter months. Their house made pastas and Wisconsin grass fed beef make Harvest Restaurant an experience to see and taste what Madisonians already know; great local food transformed to taste bud perfection.
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CLEAN SWEEP Broomball is taking hockey to a whole new level this winter. By Ryan Williams • Photography The Furious Brothers
When I received the assignment to write about Broomball, I immediately began to smile. Why you ask? Was it because I loved broomball? Was it because I got to introduce this wonderfully odd sport to a new fan base? Or was it simply because I had no idea in hell what broomball was? It was definitely the latter. I come from an area where hockey is a foreign concept, so you can imagine that my knowledge of broomball is about the same as my knowledge of nuclear propulsion. However, being the Marine that I am, I simply manned up, accepted the assignment, and began to learn about this quirky sport that has slowly been spreading across the upper Midwest and Northeast. The first images that came to mind were of a couple bored janitors that got together while slacking off at work and decided to invent a sport. I was wrong, but not by much. Although the exact time the sport was invented is unknown, we do know the sport originated in Canada (shocker, I know) in the early 1900s by a group of street car workers who utilized their corn brooms as sticks and a small soccer ball as their puck. Broomball eventually made its way to the States where the first games were played in Minnesota. Broomball eventually expanded throughout the upper Midwest and Northeast with leagues taking shape in New York, Ohio, Wisconsin, North Dakota, Iowa and Nebraska. While the sport resembles hockey in more than a few ways, it is uniquely its own entity, utilizing its own equipment and rules. Good news for my fellow ice skating challenged brethren, no skates required, which is perfect because I’ve tried ice skating and am absolutely horrible at it. I tried once when I was a kid, I slipped, I fell, and I damn near knocked myself out. Let’s just say I knew then that I would never be the next Wayne Gretzky, so when I found out no skates were required to play, my attention was peeked. Players utilize special shoes which give them better traction while dashing across the ice. Although the shoes are somewhat expensive, they will prevent you from falling on your ass; something which you 26 NOV/DEC 2010
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wouldn’t want to endure in front of spectators, so spring for the shoes. Your dupka will thank you. Broomballs equivalent to the hockey stick is… well what else? The broom. Did you really think it would be called something else? The best part is the thing looks nothing like a broom. It looks like a spade shovel with holes in the blade, making high sticking a bit scary, which is completely illegal by the way, but would be fun to watch. The sticks are either made of wood or aluminum and vary in strength, quality, and of course cost. The “broom” is used to strike a ball, making the name of this sport the most original name ever. There are two variations of the ball, indoor and outdoor. The indoor ball is typically made of hard orange rubber, the outdoor ball is very similar to a small soccer ball. The International Federation of Broomball Associations governs the play of broomball and is the official broomball organization in America. Matches consist of two, 18 minute halves, just short enough for us ADD types. The game takes place on a regulation hockey surface with a 6 by 8 foot net, instead of standard hockey nets. I have no idea what that means in comparison, but it seems important since every source of information I reviewed seemed to emphasize this fact. Each team is made up of six players on the ice, a captain and two alternatives which must be designated before the match begins. Only the captain and alternatives are allowed to speak to the officials. So no getting one inch from a ref’s face with spit flying, unless of course you have been designated to do so. So why should you play broomball? Good question, maybe you’ve always wanted to play hockey but, like me, were a horrible ice skater. Maybe, you are an ex-hockey player and are looking for a new challenge? It’s a great excuse to get out and stay physical in the winter months, and an even better excuse to keep drinking on a Tuesday night now that your volleyball league is over. Now take this information, grab a broom and a team, and introduce yourself to your next obsession.
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STYLE GEAR
The Flurry Fad Snowboarding style in the metro By Ellie Blades
To quote Coco Chanel, “Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street…” and we say fashion is also on the slopes. It is vital for your snowboarding gear to not
Best Jacket for the Guys: Bohemian-chic has been the look to achieve for some time now, but until recently it had not been pulled off during the winter months. This Burton jacket will help you attain this look without actually tying feathers to your board. Burton Restricted Kilter Jacket (Dashiki Print) $204.95
only be functional but also up to the minute. As you’re waiting for the season’s first powder, here is your winter guide to what’s in vogue this snowboarding season.
Best Pant for the Gals: While it may remind some of their football rivalry to the west, like it or lump it, purple is the color of the season. Show your purple pride when the chill hits with these pants by Planet Earth. Warning; this is only a look for the bold at heart. Planet Earth Lotus Pant (Eggplant Purple Melange) $169.95
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Best Boot for Guys and Gals: The Deuce snowboard boot by Ride covers the 3 P’s; Performance, Practicality, and Pimp. Guys, nothing like wearing a seemingly basketball shoe in the snow and ladies, I am sure when you were growing up, Sporty was your favorite of all of the Spices. Take your athleticism to the hill with this boot. Ride Duece Boot (Blue) $219.95 34 NOV/DEC 2010
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Best Pant for the Guys: The pants make the man, and slim cut or “skinny” slacks are what are making them these days. These pants by Capp3L offer that rocker facade while still giving enough room to make your moves on the half pipe. The waxed denim pattern completes the look. Capp3L Lennox Vented Pant (Waxed Denim) $289.95
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Best Gloves for Guys and Gals: Bright colors are a trend in snowboarding gear this year and 686 has got the vibrant shades you need for both men and women in their gloves. Tip: always go for colorful, just like your personality. 686 Diamond Men’s Glove (Kelly) $44.95 686 Quartz Women’s Glove (Iris) $44.95
Best Jacket for the Gals: Military looks are keen for ladies and gents alike this year and so is this jacket by Neff. It brings that look alive with its pockets, buttons, and dare I say, flare. Let’s remember, pockets are not only fashionable, but also functional. Neff is known for its militaristic, rocker persona and it is certainly shown in this coat. Neff Sarge Softshell Jacket (Green) $199.95
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Best Goggle for Guys and Gals: Stylish exterior…check. 100% UV Protection…check. Super Anti-Fog Lens…check. Built-in Skullcandy headphones…yes please! Nothing beats cranking music that completes you while heading down the hill. Do it with these Dragon goggles, complete with Skullcandy headphones. Your day just got a little brighter. Skullcandy Dragon DX Goggle (Green Purple) $124.95
Best Snowboard: Disclaimer: fashion is my forte, so I pick the Jibstick for men, the PMS for women, and Puke for the kids all by Stepchild, one of the top brands in snowboards. Stepchild prides itself on being different and these boards prove that. If you are looking to be unique this season, then these are the boards for you. Stepchild Jib Stick $424.95. Stepchild PMS $374.95. Stepchild Puke $218.95 4PMmag.com NOV/DEC 2010
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Style IMAGE
THE MAN
BEHIND THE HAIR Guide to Men’s Facial Hair By Casey Cuene • Photography Seville Media
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Men’s facial hair; you either have it or you don’t. If you’re fortunate enough to be blessed with the ability to grow facial hair, it is important that you look good when you grow it. Facial hair is a right of passage; it is not a free pass to look like a creeper. By growing facial hair it is your responsibility to maintain a presentable look that will get you noticed for the right reasons. If you are one of those men who can’t grow a beard, you need to come to terms with reality and not bother trying to grow it at all. With that being said, consider this the men’s guide to facial hair fashion. Depending on the person, a full beard can go a long way, but proper grooming is essential if you are going to wear one. First thing you need to do is invest in a high quality razor with different trimming levels. Trimming your beard and thinning it out is the first step to ensure your beard has the Paul Kinsey from Mad Men look and not the look of a homeless man begging for change outside of Walgreens. Next, make sure you keep the neck clean. Remember gents, beards are for the face not the neck. Lastly, trim that mustache area so you don’t have hairs hanging over your lip. Nobody wants to see your sopping wet stache when you are drinking a pint. Mustaches have been making a little bit of a comeback lately. Those growing them seem to be doing it for different reasons. Hipsters started
doing it to be ironic, but the joke is getting old. Milwaukee sports fans started doing it as a tribute to the beloved ’82 Brewers team. If Aaron Rogers shaves a mustache for Sunday’s Packers game, you can expect a handful of guys to start working theirs the following Monday. I have no problem with people who choose to grow a mustache, but it is important that the mustache matches the personality. It’s not the 70s anymore and mustaches aren’t as common as they used to be. Those who grow mustaches are the outgoing personalities who want to stand out from the crowd and say: “hey bud, let’s party!” If you are the kind of guy who can’t commit to anything, maybe the five o’clock shadow is the right look for you. It gives people the impression that you are capable of growing facial hair, but you are just too cool to go all the way. This works well for the office worker who keeps a clean look Monday through Friday but wants to be a little lazy on the weekend. Jack Shepard on Lost managed to make the shadow look good for six seasons (with the exception of season 3 when he is a Nirvana listening, pill-popping, bearded mess.) As far as I’m concerned, any and all goatees should be avoided. This includes the traditional goatee, which is basically a poor man’s beard. If you want to grow facial hair, bring all your chips to the table. If you are justifying your goatee by claiming that you just can’t grow facial hair enough to complete the beard; I’m calling your bluff. Odds are if you can’t fully grow a beard, you probably can’t fully grow the goatee either; in which case you should just accept it and stick to the clean shave look. Soul patches are forbidden. Dyed facial hair is always a bad idea. It wasn’t cool when Hulk Hogan had a black beard with a blonde mustache. There is nothing wrong with a little bit of grey showing through on your beard. People aren’t stupid and they will be able to tell when you have colored your facial hair. Lastly, avoid pencil thin beards and mustaches. The half an inch sideburn that comes all the way down your chin to meet with your thin goatee doesn’t look cool. The average person doesn’t really need to worry about falling into this bad look as most of us are smart enough to recognize the ridiculous nature of that look. There you have it, our guide to men’s facial hair. It is very easy for facial hair to grow out of control and it is up to you to maintain the look. First impressions off of looks alone can tell you a lot about a person. Just like the decision for what to wear when you go out on a Saturday night, your facial hair needs to be taken into consideration as well. Think about what is right for you and take the time to care for it.
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Cat Call
Feline inspired accessories give an outfit nine lives this winter. By Michelle Williamson • Photography Joshua A. Benishek
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5. This is the season to get spotted in classic leopard accessories with the print popping up on belts, shoes and purses on the Autumn/Winter 2010 runways of labels like Azzedine Alaïa, Ralph Lauren and Moschino Cheap & Chic. Big cat patterns can invoke a somewhat saucy glamour. Rather than taking the obviously vampy angle, tone down the va-va-voom by pairing the spots with a casual-cool outfit, like a silky button-down blouse tucked into (yes, tucked into) a pair of cuffed boyfriend-fit trousers. And resist the urge to get matchy-matchy; this print has more impact if featured on a singular piece, so pick a favorite and head out on the prowl.
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Shoes: Vince Camuto, $98.00, Macy’s Hat: Nine West, $36.00, Macy’s Purse: Hobo International, $188.00, Boston Store Belt: Steve Madden, $34.00, Macy’s Scarf: Collection Eighteen, $28.00, Macy’s
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FEATURE GIFT
WORST GIFT WINS Buy yourself some glory at this year’s white elephant exchange. By Kyle Blades • Photography John Knappe
Whoever said it is better to give than to receive is an idiot. I love nothing more than getting me some presents. That being said, there is one instance in which the giving is just as sweet as the receiving. That instance is the good old American tradition of the white elephant exchange. For those of you who aren’t hip with the times, a white elephant exchange, or Yankee Swap, is a present related game popular in North America (yup, Wisconsin is in North America). The term white elephant refers to a gift whose maintenance cost exceeds its usefulness. The game starts when each person draws a number from a hat. The highest number picks out the first gift and unwraps it. Each person after that picks a gift but has the option of trading with someone who has already opened his or her present. The final person has their choice of any of the presents. Unlike normal gift giving, where I expect people to spend lavishly on items I want, white elephant gifts are meant to be light-hearted and funny. The true goal of the swap isn’t to receive the best present but to give the gift that is most sought after or receives the greatest amount of laughter. Since I’m a cheapskate, I always aim for laughter over a highly sought after gift. The key to finding the right item is to know your audience. The sick and twisted gift I would pick out for my family’s exchange would be very different from the sarcastic present I would get for a work 44 NOV/DEC 2010
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exchange. Try to think of the most prudent member of the group and make sure you won’t offend them. Also, think of any inside jokes within the group that you can capitalize on but make sure everyone is clued in on the joke. From there, start the search at your house. You would be surprised at what wonderful gifts you can find in your basement or attic. My two best gifts of all time, a velvet Jesus piggy bank and Little Mermaid VHS, came from such digging. However, if you come up empty, you’ll have to carefully select where you do your shopping. I always suggest starting at secondhand stores, since they’re pretty much an extension of your attic. If they don’t have anything that hits the bull’seye then try other offbeat stores such as dollar stores, convenience stores or sex shops. As you peruse your options, look for a gift that will be quirky, fun and be talked about for years to come. Just make sure to not go too far over the top. A big black dildo can be hilarious amongst my guy friends but the same gift at a family exchange might not be so funny. Just as a Christmas pop-up book might be the hit of the family exchange but fall flat amongst friends. Again, it all comes down to knowing your audience and seeking out that rare gift that pushes the funny envelope without overstepping the line. Although this can be tricky, when done right, you’ll be the talk of the town for years to come. And, if you’re not getting a sweet present out of the deal, you might as well get some attention!
the GIFT of GIVING FEATURE GIFT
Presents to buy for all the people who make your life complicated. By Matt Ehrmann • Photography Ben Lambert
FEATURE GIFT
I have a theory that a good gift giver should never have to ask someone what they want for their (birthday/holiday/ anniversary/whatever). Part of the fun of giving (and getting) a present is the surprise, and if you have to ask someone what they want, then they already know what’s in that box and the magic is lost like Santa’s sleigh without Rudolph leading the way. I suppose I’m simplifying the situation a little too much. It’s not always an easy task to buy a gift for someone you don’t know well, or for someone that you’re buying for out of obligation as opposed to affection. It’s hopefully fairly easy to shop for a significant other who you’ve been with for a while, but what about the girl/guy you just started dating? What about the ex that you want to win back? Since you can’t be trusted to not make an ass out of yourself, have a look at the 4PM gift guide so you don’t wind up alone and shunned for the holidays.
Platonic relationships
Boss It doesn’t matter if you and your boss are so tight that you go out drinking every Friday night. Keep your gift as non-personal and toothless as possible. Why risk your professional life by overstepping the boundaries and getting your boss something that offends them? You don’t want to make a mistake by thinking you’re closer than you really are. Getting them a shot glass with ‘slut’ emblazoned on it isn’t something you get the person who signs your checks, even if you’re bros. Keep it as professional and non-personal as possible. Suggestion: - Gift card to Borders or Netflix or some other universally loved corporation. Parents If you’re reading this magazine you’re probably old enough to get into a bar, so macaroni pasted on a paper plate wouldn’t make you look cute, it might get you committed. While you might be as broke as the rest of us, Wal-Mart jewelry and flimsy ties won’t hold water, because you love your parents and they deserve better than that. Fortunately, it’s a scientific law that parents don’t give a crap about the gift as much as the thought behind it, they dig the intangibles. Take them somewhere nice for dinner and have a conversation with them. They’ll remember it forever, and all it costs is a little time. Pick up the check too; your parents didn’t raise you to be cheap. Suggestion: - Roots, Charro, or any of the great Third Ward/Downtown restaurants would make great destinations. Friends Here’s where I start to go all Grinch. For the sake of this article I’ll
assume most people are on the same page as I am and don’t have spare cash to spend on friends during the holidays. I usually only buy gifts for friends who I know ahead of time are buying gifts for me. In this event, all you can really do is try to match price-wise what they’re getting for you. Rationalize the purchase as just getting yourself a gift. In the event that you don’t know what they’re getting you, go with a twenty dollar limit. If you find yourself being given a gift and you don’t have one to give in return, well, repeat after me, ‘I left it in my other pants’. Then off to Target! I know that’s really not the holiday spirit, but if I had a bottomless wallet, I’d get everyone I know something special. That’s not realistic and it’s also pretty irresponsible, so only take on what you can handle. Suggestion: - The latest DVD usually does the trick. Inception is like doing brain jumping jacks and you might come off looking smarter than you really are...
Romantic relationships
Girl/Boyfriend As stated before, if you’ve been together for a while, you probably already know what to get them. But if you’ve only been dating a few weeks, or are in one of those marginal phases where it’s clear you’re dating but don’t quite have the title, don’t go nuts. Now isn’t the time to drop triple digits on some fancy new mp3 player. That’s too strong too soon. If you need an idea, just listen to them talk. Have a few conversations, and they’re sure to drop a few hints. Run with it and you’ll score crazy points for both giving the right gift and proving you listen. If you can’t manage that, you can’t go wrong with something cute. A handwritten coupon for a free back rub is not cute, something you can both do or enjoy together is. Suggestion: -Trip to Door County - Turn them loose in a store and say you’ll get them one article of clothing of their choosing. Works on dudes too, you know. The Ex We’re going to take a leap of faith here and assume that if you’re considering giving your ex something other than a meeting with the grill of your car at high speeds, you’re probably on decent terms. Good for you. Now don’t be stupid and get him/her something that might suggest you still have feelings or want them back (unless you do, in which case a gift isn’t going to help you). Keep it platonic and marginal. Suggestion: - Technically this falls into the friend category, so the same suggestions apply. Books work too.
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FEATURE GIFT
Gifting on the sly Mission: Possible
By Michelle Williamson • Photography Ben Lambert
Good morning, Reader. Holiday shopping and the pressure to deliver the perfect gift has always been a source of unrest for consumers. Word has reached us through diplomatic channels that this December will be no different. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to use undercover techniques to identify the gift the target wants and bring them joy and happiness when you give them this said gift. To achieve the mission, follow these tasks and execute them as discreetly as possible. Research Your Target. Sniff out potential gift ideas by considering general background information. When helping a man find just the right item of clothing for his significant other, Heidi Calaway, owner of Boutique Vieux et Nouveau, has an arsenal of questions. “What’s her dress style like? What does she do for work? What is her lifestyle like?” lists Calaway. “So I try to paint a picture in my head of who she is and then bring out some ideas to suggest to him.” She also suggests finding out a woman’s sizes from top to bottom prior to shopping. This can be done covertly by taking a quick peek in her closet. “Bra size, shoe size, dress size, measurements if you can get them. It just makes life easier.” Use extreme caution when detecting these sizes as they vary with each brand of clothing. If that kind of information is unattainable, Calaway recommends accessories. Take a look at photographs for hints on what jewelry, scarves or hats she likes to wear, either on a daily basis or for special occasions. Survey the Landscape. “You can tell what they like by what they already have,” says David Miller, President of upscale men’s store, Richard Bennett. “There’s usually a pattern.” That means checking the movie collection, the bookshelves, even the kitchen cupboards for clues. If the closet tells you that your target likes to wear blue striped olo’s, you run a risk if you buyCHRIS them the&giftNICK of an orange polka-dotted sweater. Abort! Also, notice if a person has retired a beloved item. For example, a well-loved pair of 46 SEPT/OCT 2010
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jeans becomes too threadbare for public, or a jacket becomes too light or heavy for the season. Take note of the brand and style, then track down a replacement. “People try to make it more complicated than it really is,” Miller says of holiday shopping, “just try to keep it simple.” Use technology to your advantage A computer can hold the clues to a successful gift giving season. “Usually he doesn’t want anything, so [I] have to kind of watch him on the Internet,” says Nadia Wasiullah-Peters, owner of Sprout!, a children’s clothing and maternity boutique, of her husband. “Last year, I really knew he wanted some cufflinks, but he wouldn’t come out and say it. So I looked up his history, saw the cufflinks and that’s how he got those.” For the person who seems to have everything, she recommends outside of the box by skipping material gifts. “I Googled gifts that were actually things to do and found a really cool website that was experiences, ranging from $100 to $20,000.” explains WasiullahPeters. “So last Christmas, I gave my mom a walking tour of Chicago and my step-dad a fishing trip.” Find someone on the inside. A person may stay mum on the subject of gifts around his or her significant other, but might open up to friends and family. Find yourself a confidant who can assure a coup. “A girlfriend is always good,” confirms Calaway. “She can say ‘Oh, no, she wouldn’t wear that’ or ‘Yeah, I could totally see her wearing that.’ ” Also, if your loved one frequents certain boutiques, the employees may be able to help you out as well. Nadia’s husband sometimes uses this technique for his wife’s gifts, finding out what she’s been eyeing or even what she has tried on. Now get out there and start sleuthing. And as always, should you or any member of your elite gift reconnaissance force be caught or killed, the magazine will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This article will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Reader.
PASS IT ON
Is re-gifting naughty even though it feels so nice? By Katie Schuppler • Photography Ben Lambert
When it comes to gift giving, who are you willing to drop the cash on and who is um, not worth it? Re-gifting is something that happens to the best of us and likewise, something we have all done to one another. Is it ever okay to re-use a gift and if so, when? It takes a lot of thought and consideration when giving a gift, but say you have a “Secret Santa” event at your place of work and the person you’ve been assigned isn’t someone you actually know. This is where a certain item you have received from someone else can be given to an acquaintance. Here are some thoughts and etiquette guidelines to consider when contemplating indulging in the art of re-gifting. Although the whole idea of giving someone a present that is used and/ or was given to you by someone is pretty tacky in itself, there are a few things that under no circumstances should be re-gifted! For example, please do not give clothes that you were planning on consigning or giving to Goodwill to the gift recipient. This is not only borderline disgusting, but more than obvious that you did not go out and buy something for them. You may ask why that would be so obvious. Well, if you are pondering the idea of giving a used gift, the person most likely doesn’t mean much to you, so why would you go out of your way to buy a piece of clothing for them. The solution is to stick to more impersonal items like DVDs, CDs, electronics, jewelry, or any unused gift cards. Another side to this whole ritual is within a family setting. Many families have opted to pick names out of a hat when the holiday season rolls around as the kids in the family start to get a little older. 50 NOV/DEC 2010
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In this instance, many households will pass gifts back and forth from year to year as a joke or as a ritual. So in this case, by all means re-gift! For people that hate having “stuff” around that they will never use, re-gifting is the perfect solution. Say you get a gift card to a place you absolutely hate or a gift set containing a scent of lotions and body washes that you either already have or that just smell awful. This is your chance to give it away. But, make sure that you remember who the person was that gave you the gift, even if it’s a year later. The last thing you want is to give back the same gift that they gave you. Cheat Sheet: Do not by any means let the person know you have re-gifted their gift. When the recipient loves your gift do not say, “Oh you like it? Good, because I had no use for it!” If you plus the gift do not equal love at first sight, take note on who gave it to you and who witnessed you open it. This way you won’t hurt anyone’s feelings once you recycle it. If you dare to give a used gift, make sure you follow these rules. Clean the item; nothing is more embarrassing for you and the recipient than a dirty and obviously used gift. Next, if the gift had parts or accessories, make sure it still has its parts and accessories. Lastly, if it came in a box or is an item that would usually require packaging, place it back inside the box or packaging. If you receive a gift that you don’t necessarily have interest in, but could be worth a pretty penny then don’t be afraid to sell it!
Entourage Night Sights
Graffiti rave CRISP 09.24.10 Photos by: Seville Media
Entourage Night Sights
HELLEVATE Mo’s irish pub 10.30.10 Photos by: Jake gundrum & Mike Krukowski
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Entourage Night Sights
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Entourage Night Sights
Lela Fashion Show 09.25.10 Photos by: SEVILLE MEDIA
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Entourage Night Sights
Benefit fashion Show Whiskey Bar 11.04.10 Photos by: Seville Media
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Entourage Night Sights
4PM OSU vs. UW Bus Trip Madison 10.18.10 Photos by: ADAM VanderVeen
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Entourage Night Sights
RUN UP TO RUNWAY MAM 10.15.10 Photos by: Seville Media
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SPiN GRAND OPENING 11.05.10 Photos by: SEVILLE MEDIA
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CALENDAR MILWAUKEE
MILWAUKEENOV//DEC December 3 Unfortunately the increase of Indians downtown doesn’t mean Marquette players are the Warriors again. It does however mean the Village People are playing at the BC after the Admirals Game.
December 16 Milwaukee’s Anthony Pettis will be fighting to bring home the WEC lightweight title from Champion Ben Henderson. Also on the card is Marquette alum, Danny Boy Downes. Watch the fights at Pettis’ Showtime Sportsbar.
December 6 Last year there were three must-attend basketball games. Now, thanks to LeBron, there’s only two, and the Bucks vs. the Heat is definitely the big one.
12/7 Taio Cruz
November 24 James Warfield vs. Sherron Leggett and Chico Camus vs. Jameel Massouh will co-headline NAFC: Bad Blood at Potawatomi Casino Expo Center.
December 7 Taio Cruz might threaten to break your heart, but Bruno Mars will always offer to mend it. Good thing they’re both performing at this year’s Kissmas Bash at the Rave.
December 10 & 11 You have been charged by God with a sacred quest to gallop down to the Milwaukee Theater
November 26
12/17 Anthony Pettis
On tour to promote ‘Harmony’, their second album of 2010 Never Shout Never will be sure to sell out the Rave for the second time this year.
December 17
December 2
December 18
The largest collection of mummies ever assembled, the Mummies of the World exhibit, is visiting the Milwaukee Public Museum.
Warm up when you visit Bay View’s BYO Lounge for Art Milwaukee’s salsa inspired Art Jamboree, complete with cocktail flights, salsa dancers, and a mariachi. Oh yea, some local artists will be on display too.
Heard it from a friend, who heard it from a friend, who heard it from another that REO Speedwagon will be playing at the Riverside.
December 25 12/10 & 12/11 Spamalot and witness Monty Python’s, Quest for the Holy Grail inspired, Spamalot.
December 13 & 14 FM 102.1’s Big Snow Show has grown so big that it now requires two days and for you to blow off finals week. Headliners for both shows include Cake, Chevelle, Switchfoot, Finger Eleven, and OK go.
12/2 BYO Lounge
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If you’re the black sheep of the family and got snubbed on an invite to Christmas dinner, you might as well be the first to see the guaranteed Oscar nominee, True Grit, by the Coen Brothers.
December 30 & 31 You’re not the only piece of white trash who loves Hot Pockets. Jim Gaffigan loves them so much he insults them annually during three shows at the Riverside, the third is a special late night show on the 31st to ring in the new year.
Calendar Madison
MadisonNOV//DEC December 4 Family Force 5 looks like LMFAO bleached themselves and multiplied, and their music kinda sounds like that too. Still, they’re not that bad. They’ll be headlining the Christmas Pageant Tour at the Barrymore with Forever the Sickest Kids and Secondhand Serenade.
December 8 UWM Panther Basketball makes its way west for a cross state rivalry game against the Badgers.
December 18 – 26 Take your girlfriend to the Overture Center for the Madison Ballet’s The Nutcracker, or she’ll… Insert your own nut joke here.
12/25 True Grit
November 20 The Orpheum hosts Funk Out Cancer, a concert and silent auction in memory of Kate Gates Falaschi featuring Soul Live and Phat Phunktion.
November 23
11/27 Badgers
If you loved John Mayer before he became Hollywood, you’re going to fall for Joshua Radin when he performs songs from his new album, The Rock and The Tide, at the Barrymore Theatre.
November 27 It’ll be cold, so it’s a good thing you’ll be jumping around at Camp Randall during the Badger’s last game of the season against Northwestern.
12/31 & 12/31 Jim Gaffigan
12/6 Bucks vs. the Heat
12/18 - 12/26 The Nutcracker 4PMmag.com NOV/DEC 2010
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Conversations rants & Raves
Happy Holidaze Happy? I second that emotion, and a billion other ones. By Matt Ehrmann
Happy Holidays. It has a nice ring to it, so you know it’s misleading. As a writer, I’m amused by all the alliteration and gimmicks of the written word, but cut the horseshit, let’s get real. Happy? I propose ‘manic depressive holidays’, ‘stressed the fuck out holidays’, and ‘broke holidays’. Doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it? Wait, is broke an emotion? Ask me again in December. Now don’t mistake my throwing rocks at a common, well wishing phrase, to be the sign of bitterness. I know and agree that the holidays can indeed be happy, sure, but I have a certain distaste towards the storybook fantasy that everyone carries on their backs like a sack of presents. I appreciate some good escapism and all that, but to think that the holidays are just total happiness is the blue balling of a holiday climax that never comes close to launch. So what’s the reality of the situation? I’ve acquired the use of a little thing I like to call unquestionable science to help me out in this quandary. It’s probably going to be quite painful and make a mess, but I feel it necessary. Just how happy are the holidays, really? Let’s get science on it.
Love:
Fantasy: Bring your significant other to your Christmas Eve/Day family functions. Further your mutual camaraderie with your extended family. Reality: Bring a different girl to your family function for the 5th year in a row. Get in a fight on the way home when a drunk uncle refers to her as the name of your date from a few years ago and remarks that ‘she’s lost a lot of weight since last year.’
Travel:
Fantasy: It’s a white Christmas! A beautiful, white crystal powder coats everything and really drives home that yuletide feeling as you relax in your warm bed early so Santa can come deliver your presents while you sleep. 64 NOV/DEC 2010
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Reality: It’s a white Christmas! On the way home from your family functions, a beautiful white crystal powder coats everything and causes you to lose control of your car and you spend two hours trying to push it out of a ditch, all the while cursing at yourself for letting your AAA membership expire the month prior. When you finally make it home, you still have to shovel the driveway. It is 4 a.m. Santa gives you the finger.
Dinner:
Fantasy: You’re wearing a festive holiday sweater, a green one with a pixilated reindeer and fluffy little red noses made of cotton balls and shit. Your grandma prepares the plump Christmas goose or whatever, I don’t know. Afterwards, you and your extended family collapse in front of the TV, crack open a light beer and settle down to an early evening of constant football and…wait is it Christmas or Thanksgiving that has football on all day? Reality: Perkins and vodka.
Giving gifts:
Fantasy: You get your kid brother or sister a shiny red fire truck, eliciting squeals of joy as they spend Christmas morning tirelessly making engine noises and running circles around the Christmas tree. Reality: You get your brother or sister an iTunes gift card. At least that way you won’t consciously know that your hard earned dollars are going to support Bieber or some shit. They spend Christmas morning with headphones on, listening to androgynous dudes in makeup ‘sing’ about how they must be the only one that have ever been in a relationship that ended. And you paid good money to enable this.
Getting gifts:
Fantasy: Last year you received an Xbox 360, and you have a feeling this year you’ll be getting a plasma TV to complete the awesome-gasm. Reality: Last year I got an Xbox 360, and this year I’m pretty sure I’m getting a plasma TV. Hey! I guess the holidays are happy after all. Win.