The Toughest Guy I Ever Knew and Other Short Stories ~ Stephen D. Mayer ~
A collection of thought-provoking stories on life, philosophy and humor sprinkled with bits of advice on business and life.
INTRODUCTION
I love to tell stories about lessons that I have learned over the past 60 years. A couple of years ago I began to write them down and circulate them to friends for feedback. I decided to put them in a book of short stories that will hopefully help people navigate the inherent chaos that is life.
Some of the stories are original and some are taken from other stories that I have been told. The central theme
through all of the stories are:
Be inspired on a daily basis; Do your best; Do the right thing; Think outside of the box; Be proud of your country; Family is important; Helping others is a privilege
Many of the stories center around family and friends. I have been blessed with a loving family that spans several
generations. I have many friends that go back over 60 years. I have been a lucky guy and I wanted to share some stories that have been part of that luck.
I selected the title to honor my father, Dave Mayer. Simply put, he was a great guy, a tremendous father and hus-
band, and incredibly tough. I watched him suffer through 28 years of fighting 6 different types of cancer —never complaining and always willing to help others. The title of this book, “The Toughest Guy I Ever Knew And Other Short Stories”, is a small tribute to the man who gave me so much.
I am dedicating the book to my nephew, Charlie Mayer, who was tragically killed in an accident when he was 13
years old. Charlie was the type of kid who was loved by his friends, brought a smile to everyone he met, always protected the underdog, and left a huge void in the life of his family.
I hope you enjoy the book and become inspired to do something special.
Copyright © 2018 by Stephen D. Mayer All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below. SD Mayer & Associates LLP 235 Montgomery Street, 30th Floor San Francisco, CA 94104 (415) 691-4040 www.sdmayer.com Ordering Information: Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address above. Orders by U.S. trade bookstores and wholesalers. Please contact the publisher at the address above. Printed in the United States of America
TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter 1: Superbowl & Excellence
Chapter 8: Abraham, Martin and John
A story told through the Super Bowl about Chasing Perfection and
A story of the 60s, tragedy, inspiration and a hope for the future.
Catching Excellence. Chapter 9: The Toughest Guy I Know Chapter 2: The Three Suitcases
A story about my Dad and a reflection on Father’s day.
A story about making choices in life that will guide you through your life.
Chapter 10: Why We Bought a Bookstore A story about buying local and supporting your community.
Chapter 3: Two Rules A story about how having less rules will give you better guidance
Chapter 11: Man in Black
on succeeding.
A story about professional appearance and why it makes a difference.
Chapter 4: Veterans Day
Chapter 12: Friday Night Lights
A story of honoring those men and women who fought for us to
The story of Bill Blanchard who was paralyzed while playing high
ensure our freedom.
school football and never gave up.
Chapter 5: New Years Goals
Chapter 13: No Bats Baseball—For The Love Of The Game
A story about goal setting and suggesting 11 goals that will give
This is a story about “No Bats Baseball Club”promoting charity and
you a better quality of life.
goodwill through the game of baseball.
Chapter 6: The Flag Thing
Chapter 14: The Lobby Project
A story told through Little League about patriotism and the
A story about 13 people who represent excellence, innovation and
American Flag.
inspiration.
Chapter 7: My Saab Story
Chapter 15: Desiderata
A story told through my SAAB about relationships and taking
A story about the best piece of advice I can share with you.
care of things.
Dedicated to Charlie Mayer, my nephew August 6, 1984 - October 25, 1997
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.� Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
Chapter One
SUPERBOWL & EXCELLENCE This is the story of how one relatively unknown coach took the worst team in the National Football League and using a philosophy of “chasing perfection to actually catch excellence” created one of the greatest dynasties in sports history.
Each year on a Sunday in January, the National Football League will play the Super Bowl, which is the championship game between the two champions of the two football leagues. Over the years there have been more than 50 of them. The Super Bowl is one of the biggest days in professional sports. I have watched every one of them since the first one in 1967, with the Green Bay Packers beating the Kansas City Chiefs. There is obviously a lot of hype in any Super Bowl and over 50 plus years there have been many unbelievable games, fantastic finishes and iconic players and coaches.
I would like to use the background of the Super Bowl to share with you my philosophy on excellence. Several years
ago, as I was flipping through the newspaper on Super Bowl Sunday, I saw an article, “How Vince Lombardi inspired Bart Starr,” that caught my attention. If you do not know who Vince Lombardi or Bart Starr are, this message may miss the point, so you might try looking them up on the internet and then read on.
I was 13 when the first Super Bowl was played between the Packers and the Chiefs. I was a big fan of the Green Bay
Packers, probably because the San Francisco 49ers weren’t very good at that time. Their coach was Vince Lombardi. Mr. Lombardi had such an impact on the game and profession of football that the winner of the Super Bowl is awarded the Lombardi Trophy each year. There have been many great coaches before Lombardi and there certainly have been some great ones after him, but there is only one Lombardi Trophy.
I admired Vince Lombardi and his method of leading, coaching and care for his players. He had a knack of
coaching individual players to bring out the best in themselves. He was the best and I have never stopped quoting him or reading about his philosophy on life. I often say, “Luck is preparation and opportunity coming together at the same 1
time.” This was one of Mr. Lombardi’s favorite sayings when someone would comment that the Packers were “lucky” to win as often as they did.
In his first season with the Packers, he took over a team that had lost 11 of their 12 games the previous season. At
the first team meeting, he started by saying, “Gentlemen, I have never been associated with a loser and I do not intend to start now. Starting tomorrow at practice and everyday after that, we are going to relentlessly chase perfection, knowing full well we will not catch it, because nothing is perfect. But we are going to relentlessly chase it, because in the process we will catch excellence”.
He went on to say, “I am not remotely interested in being a good team.” For the next ten years the Green Bay
Packers were simply the best team in the league and one of the greatest teams of all time.
Bart Starr was the quarterback of the Packers over that ten-year period and became one of the best quarterbacks
of all time. Besides his skill as a quarterback, he was also known for his leadership, his sense of commitment, and his relentless pursuit of excellence. In the famous “Ice Bowl” against Dallas in 1967, with the Packers trailing by a few points, he led his team down the field as he went five-for-five in the final drive of the game, scoring on a quarterback sneak as time ran out. In the article, he concluded by saying, “The desire to excel is paramount. When you seek to lead a life of integrity and to make a difference in the lives of others, it’s incredible what you can accomplish.”
Over my career I used Jim Collins’ book “Good to Great” as a tool to guide me. I truly believe that if you, day in
and day out, chase Perfection you just might catch Excellence. The lessons told as stories of how certain companies used a combination of leadership, getting the right people in the right positions and facing the brutal facts, showed multiple times that a philosophy of Chasing Perfection and Catching Excellence is obtained by only a few. It is hard work and requires a reckless commitment to the philosophy in everything you do.
A few years ago, I started a new company after leaving a company that I co-founded and ran for 25 years. In both
companies we used the concepts in Collin’s book, “Good to Great” and the Lombardi philosophy of chasing perfection and hopefully catching excellence. At our formation meeting with our nine employees gathered around a conference table, I, like Mr. Lombardi, made it clear to our team that we would work hard every day, and over time we would transform from a good firm to a great firm. In keeping with Vince Lombardi’s philosophy, I am not remotely interested in being a good firm. The concept of Chasing Perfection and Catching Excellence is a pretty good concept. I hope you, too, will adopt that philosophy. 2
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“I strongly believe that you can’t win in the marketplace unless you win first in the workplace.” Douglas Conant, former CEO, Campbell Soup
Chapter TWO
THE THREE SUITCASES This is a story about the choices one makes in building the culture of their company, and the consequences these decisions have for the growth, stability and longevity of their organization.
You are getting ready for a very long journey. In fact, it might last the rest of your life. Your friends have packed your suitcases and when you walk into the room, you see there are three suitcases ready to go. Each suitcase is about the same size, but there is a different label on each of them.
One suitcase is labeled “Your employees”; one suitcase is labeled “Your Profits”; and the third one is labeled “Your
Customers”. The dilemma is that you have only two arms and you can only carry two suitcases. Which two do you carry with you on your journey and which one do you leave behind, hoping that it is there when you come back if you ever come back. It is further complicated that once you leave on the trip, the two you choose to take with you will become part of your DNA.
It is a compelling question, and how a person or company chooses to answer it has very much to do with the culture,
the tone set by those at the top, and how the company and its leaders are perceived both internally and externally.
But, you may ask, why does the culture of a company matter? The culture of a company is its DNA. It determines
who we are, what we do, and how we want to be perceived. The culture of a company can be created or defined in an instant, but to truly embody the company both internally and externally, the desired culture must be heavily and consistently applied over a long period of time from the top down. On a daily basis, the leadership of any organization is presented with choices that ensure the culture they have created is the life-blood of the company.
So back to my original question about which of the two suitcases do I choose to carry with me. For me the answer is
very simple. I pick up the employee and customer suitcases every single time.
It is not because I don’t care about the profits, but rather it is because I do care about profits. Without profits, there 5
is no company, no means to invest in the future, no potential to innovate and grow, and very little ability to reward those employees who make the growth and success of a company possible.
Leadership is not about a focus of maximizing profits, but rather abut maximizing the individual potential of your
team to ensure the resulting products and services delivered to your customers are the highest possible quality of work. An organization in which employees know they are valued, are well-trained, and are given the resources necessary to do their jobs at an optimal level, will achieve success in both the short-term and the long-term. The needs and expectations of customers will be met, and often exceeded.
Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a small discussion with our Vistage Group with Dr. Gustavo R. Grodnitzky,
the author of the recently published book “Culture Trumps Everything:” In his book, Dr. Grodnitzky argues for the importance of social capitalism, intricately linked with the concept of the Profit Paradox. According to the Profit Paradox, in business long-term profits are best achieved by not making profit the primary goal of the business. Rather, a company must focus on all of its stakeholders (its employees, its customers, shareholders and its community, to name a few), not just its shareholders. Many organizations call this the “triple” bottom line.
When we started our new company we adopted a simple concept to build our culture. We said, “We Care”. It was
expanded to form a box that acted as four sides of a fort. Inside was our culture and the four walls were: We care about our customers; We care about our employees; We care about our community and; We care about our company
For us this was all about creating a culture around all of our stakeholders. By building a company culture around
the company’s stakeholders first and foremost, you create a non-monetary incentive for all stakeholders that will in turn drive profits while also developing long-term loyalty from employees, customers, vendors, and investors. Throughout my career, I have believed that if you invest time and effort in your employees and your customers, profits will follow.
If you haven’t already, I highly suggest you pick up Dr. Grodnitzky’s book to learn more about how the concepts of
social capitalism and culture are behind the success and growth of many of the most profitable companies in the world. 6
The emperical data is very compelling. Over the last 25 years, those companies that focus on all of their stakeholders out perform those that focus only on their shareholders.
Which leaves me with a final question for you. What suitcases do you pick up? Your answer may reveal more about
your company’s culture and values than you might think. Again for me, I would carry the suitcases that say Employees and Customers. By doing so, I truly believe the “profit” suitcase will float by itself and I will not have to carry it.
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“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t—you’re right.” Henry Ford 8
Chapter THREE
TWO RULES This is a story of why it is better to train people so they think for themselves rather than require them to follow a long list of rules and requirements to make sure they do their job.
For the last 40 plus years, I have gone on at least one backpacking trip per year. Over time, there have been over 60 trips, around 3500 trail miles, over 375 nights in the wilderness and over 60 friends and family members who have shared the stars, the campfires and more laughs and stories than you can imagine. In all that time, we have never had a major injury and, other than some scary moments, we have never lost a person overnight. Between the bears, blisters, mosquitoes, rattlesnakes, snow storms, rockslides, a few 25 mile days, 100 pound packs, running out of food and water, getting lost while bushwhacking, we must have had a great time because every year we go back and do it again.
When my son Dylan was nine we went on our first father-son trip with three other dads and their sons. We have
continued the tradition every year and sometime soon we will either be leaving on or planning another trip, probably somewhere in Yosemite. The boys are now much bigger and stronger, so they carry the heavier packs.
Before our first trip there was a lot of concern for safety … mostly from the moms.
We had a barbecue to plan the trip and assure everyone that the trip was just a “walk in the woods.” After a while
the normal questions started: “Are there bears? Is there poison oak? What happens if someone gets hurt? Will you make sure they don’t burn themselves at the fire? Do they need pajamas?” The questions went on and on.
I remember looking at the moms and saying, “Everything will be fine—to ensure safety, we have two rules on the
trip.” I thought that would be the end of it, because we really didn’t have rules, other than common sense. “Well, what are the rules?” the moms asked me.
Thinking fast, I said, “We have two rules on the trail.” Everyone got quiet, wanting to hear what the rules were and
assuming the rules were going to be profound and ensure safety. In my best authoritative voice I said, “Rule #1 is that 9
the boys have to brush their teeth at least once a day; Rule #2 is that they have to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom.”
Dead silence followed.
We are not completely crazy and, obviously, there were more things for them to be aware of than brushing their
teeth and washing their hands, but the basic concept was that the boys needed to figure out a lot on their own and to learn through practice to do the right thing. We expected the boys to carry their own equipment, to help set up camp, and to listen when we were telling them something important. They were constantly reminded that the wilderness is beautiful, but anything could happen at any time.
I have never really been a “rules” person. I believe people should be capable of governing themselves in an appro-
priate way. This theory follows in business as well. If you hire the right people and foster the proper environment, their own self-motivation and drive to succeed for themselves and for the company will ultimately require less oversight and direction.
Nearly 15 years ago, Jim Collins published the book, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t,
a study of how average companies become great, while others fail to make the leap. According to Collins, these companies knew that you have to get “the right people on the bus (and the wrong people off the bus) and then figure out where to drive it.” Rather than being governed by a set of rules and infinite bureaucratic mechanisms, great companies create cultures of discipline that weave employee freedom and responsibility together within a broad framework built by the company’s leadership. Self-disciplined employees do not need a lot of rules or monetary incentives to ensure they are doing their job and doing it well. They don’t need to be micromanaged, which allows the company leadership to manage the system, and not the people. Study after study has shown that the companies that build a culture around employee freedom and creativity will do better. The employees will grow and learn to handle difficult situations with confidence and ease.
Now back to backpacking. The first father-son camping trip was a success and we continued the tradition on an
annual basis. Over the years, the boys grew, the trips became longer and more adventurous, but the rules never changed.
When the boys were fifteen years old, we had quite a scare. There had been more snow than usual during the pre-
vious winter, and many of the trails were covered with snow and ice and difficult to follow. At this point, the boys had been on five backpacking trips, so when they asked to go ahead of us on the trail, we agreed. We showed them on the 10
map where we were planning to set camp for the night and pointed to the only trail junction in between. “Make sure you stop at the junction,” we repeated a couple of times.
The boys took off, and we followed at our own pace. Several hours later in the late afternoon, after a 9-mile hike and
several mountain passes, we got to the campsite location we had pointed out on the map. We looked around — no boys. We looked up and down the river — no sign of the boys.
Over my years of being a father, I have “lost” my kids in a number of different places: stores, shopping malls,
Chuck E. Cheese and even the lobby of The Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite Valley. But those situations were nothing compared to the realization that our sons were missing deep in the wilderness of Yosemite. By this time I had been on over 50 trips and knew being lost in the Wilderness after a long day of hiking and not much sunlight left was not a good thing. Never being one to panic and knowing that staying calm and thinking through the options would yield the best results, Ben and I came up with a plan.
I had been in this area several times and had hiked through many days of snow covered trails, so I knew how easy
it was to miss the trail for a couple of hundred feet at a time. We figured the boys had gotten off the trail and when they looked down the mountain they probably saw another trail at the bottom of the snowcovered slope and followed it. They had missed the trail junction and headed in the wrong direction where the next junction was probably 5 miles in the wrong direction. If this was true that meant they were about 9 miles from us and after hiking 8 miles with heavy packs, we were pretty tired. Big problem. Leaving some stuff at camp and taking enough food for a couple of days we set off not knowing what lay ahead. As I started up the mountain, I thought I better find them or my wife will kill me. We took off back up the mountain and towards the area we hoped they were, knowing that we would not make it till after dark.
Several hours later and using headlamps to guide us through the dark, we reached the junction and were greeted
with a very welcoming sight. There was a large marker in the trail pointing to a flat area where the boys had set up camp.
Realizing their mistake after a couple of miles of going down the wrong trail, they did all the right things. They
stayed on the trail, when they reached the next junction they set up camp to wait for us rather than try to navigate the washed-away trails in the dark. They had set up a marker on the trail and put up their tent to wait for us and get away from the mosquitoes. They even had a plan the next day to backtrack and find us. 11
They were not panicking (though they were relieved we had found them before nightfall)—in fact they seemed quite
proud of themselves for “surviving” on their own. They said, “It’s not a big deal, Dad. We knew we messed up and figured we would just set up camp and wait for you. Somehow we knew that you would find us.”
This story always makes me think of the lessons in Good to Great, namely the importance of finding people who
are capable of figuring stuff out without constant supervision or direction. On the first camping trip, we (the dads) had set the framework, the “culture of discipline.” We laid out the two rules they were expected to follow and trusted them to be able to handle themselves in the middle of Yosemite. With this loose structure in place, the boys were given large amounts of freedom and large amounts of responsibility. They learned as they went along, and not only survived in the middle of the woods, but were also able to solve the problem all by themselves.
The only thing they still haven’t figured out is how the dads divide up the “community equipment and food” in even
piles and then manage to give them the heavier stuff.
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“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.� John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Chapter FOUR
VETERANS DAY: THEY FOUGHT FOR US This is a story about thanking America’s Veterans for their sacrifice in protecting our country and calling for all employers to give any veteran working for them the day off.
Veterans Day is celebrated annually on November 11th and I would like to dedicate this story to the men and women who have served our country with honor and dignity.
First, let me say thank you to all those who have served. I know that many of you reading this right now are veter-
ans, and nearly everyone else reading this knows someone who has served in the US Armed Forces. To those who have served or are actively serving at the moment, let me again extend my deepest gratitude for your sacrifice in defending the American people. For many of us, we will never be asked to put our lives on the line for our country, and we all owe you a debt for assuming that responsibility for us. For those who have never served, I encourage you to reach out to a veteran or someone who is currently on active duty, and thank them for their service to us.
Regardless of political affiliation, it is important to note it is not the troops who decide to go to war—their respon-
sibility is to protect and defend the American people when called upon. Over 1.1 million Americans have been killed while serving in the line of duty throughout American history, but they are not the only ones who have sacrificed. There are over 21.8 million U.S. veterans today, many of whom have been injured or disabled while serving. In addition there are over 50 million family members who have had to make sacrifices at home while their loved ones served our country. Currently, there are 1.4 million servicemen and women on active military duty. That is less than 0.5% of the U.S. population serving in the armed forces, assuming the responsibility so the remaining 99.5% of the population doesn’t have to.
Some of you may have been given the day off from work for Veterans Day. If so, take time to thank a veteran. Even 15
though Veterans Day is a recognized federal holiday, only federal government offices and buildings are required to close for the day. Local and state governments have no such guidelines, and nongovernmental businesses are allowed to determine for themselves if they remain open. Now, why am I bringing all this up?
It is to point out something I consider to be somewhat ironic or even hypocritical about the way Veterans Day is
celebrated, and to challenge you, if you own a business, to honor our veterans.
On a day celebrating and honoring veterans’ service, there is no process to assure that veterans actually get to ob-
serve the holiday. The only people guaranteed to not have to work are employees of the federal government. As of today, the federal government had about 4,185,000 employees, 2,726,000 (~65%) of which are nonmilitary personnel. The remaining 1.4 million federal employees are uniformed military- many of whom will not get the day off work because they are stationed overseas or are on active duty. For a holiday that is dedicated to honoring and celebrating veterans, it seems bizarre to me that in practice, it is rarely the servicemen or women who get to celebrate and benefit from the holiday.
I’m suggesting that more businesses consider giving their employees, who are Veterans, the day off as a simple thank
you for their service We implemented this policy in our company and I would encourage you to do the same next year. To me, honoring and recognizing Veterans for their service to our country it is the “right thing to do” on Veterans Day. It isn’t much of a sacrifice when I consider they were willing and ready to give their lives to protect and defend us.
Finally, I encourage you to watch a video titled, “I Fought for You.” You can access it on YouTube. Please take a
minute and watch it. It starts out with a Grandfather who is a Veteran, getting frustrated by acts of vandalism on Veterans day and takes his grandchildren to watch a series of movie clips about service in the military. The kids at first don’t pay attention but soon begin to understand the pride and purpose of the many Veterans in the movie house. When some young active service men and women walk in, the reaction is amazing. It is a moving reminder of what Americans have done in defending their country. I challenge you to watch this video and not have a tear in your eye. It is a truly great video, and I highly recommend it.
Please take a minute and encourage others to adopt the concept of giving all veterans an extra day off to your fami-
ly, friends and business owners. It seems like a small price to pay for our freedom.
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Chapter FIVE
NEW YEARS GOALS: A DIFFERENT APPROACH This is a story about goal setting, but rather than choose goals that are too specific and tied to numbers and quantities, the goals suggested in this story are about aligning your goals to your personal philosophy. It is New Year’s Eve and all of us will be setting goals and resolutions for the new year. I am not sure where this custom started, but regardless of what day of the year, we have all made a list of our goals from time to time. I think the secret to accomplishing any goal is to either make it really easy, or to make it really important to you personally.
I remember when I was in the fifth grade and it was around Christmas time, I decided I wanted to buy presents
for my family. Between my mom and dad, brothers and sisters, and my grandparents, I had to buy nine presents. I counted my money and realized that the $25 I had saved wasn’t going to go too far. I remember my dad told me to save a couple of dollars each week from my paper route and by December the following year, I would have enough money for presents.
It seemed pretty simple and it was important to me, so each and every week for the next year I put $3 in an envelope
that I kept hidden in my closet. For the entire year I diligently saved my money, and when I counted it in early December, I had saved about $140 and could easily buy Christmas presents for everyone in my family.
For me, this method worked because it was easy and because it was personally very important to me to have a
Christmas present for each family member. The lesson I learned stayed with me throughout the years. It is interesting because ever since I started my first job, I have always put aside a portion of money for savings of some sort—buying a house, college for the kids, preparing for retirement; even now, I find myself putting away a little money each month in a special account to pay for the weddings of my three children.
Over the past 50 years my goals have changed, but I still believe if you keep them simple and personal the chance 19
of reaching those goals is much higher. Simple doesn’t mean that the goals are so easy they don’t “count,” and personal doesn’t mean the goal itself is all about you, but rather that it is important to you.
I had never done a triathlon, but when I turned 50 I decided to do a half ironman. It was hard, but I survived and
did a couple more. When I was turning 60, I started a new business and knew it was important to have a physical goal to keep me focused on the business. I thought the full ironman would be a worthy goal. Damn near killed me, but when I crossed the finish line and the race official announced over the loud speaker,” Steve Mayer, You are an ironman” that was a something I was quite proud of.
In business I believe it’s important that the leaders of the organization encourage their employees to align their busi-
ness goals with their personal goals. It is not always easy, and too often the goals become unrealistic, or too much about the business and less about the individual. Producing more sales, cutting expenses, getting your team to work harder and focusing on the bottom line are the typical goals that business leaders push on their employees. These may build the bottom line for a while but will not sustain any company for a long period of time. I think the goals that build a company’s culture and the confidence and growth of their employees will outlast the goals that focus on profit.
After running a variety of businesses for over 30 years, here are 11 goals you might want to consider: 1. Strive to be happy and optimistic. No one likes a sourpuss or a complainer. Great attitude gets great results. 2. Think before you say something. Remember, sometimes it is better to let people wonder if you are an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. A great listener will achieve more than a person who is always talking. 3. Eat healthy. Get enough exercise and sleep. You will live longer and you will look and feel better. And if you have kids, I can guarantee they will be proud of the way you look and stay in shape. 4. Impress people with your effort and attitude. What people think about you is much more important than what they say about you. 5. Try your best at work. You are being paid for a full day, so make sure you earn it. Extra credit goes a long way. 6. Get to know your co-workers. Everyone has a name and a story. Try to put faces and names together along with their stories. 20
7. Dress sharp. Be proud of how you look. Well-dressed people make great first impressions. 8. Take great care of your clients or customers. If you don’t take care of them, someone else will and they won’t be your clients or customers anymore. 9. Be nice to people who are lower on the food chain than you are. Remember, what goes around comes around and we all put our pants on one leg at a time. 10. Inspiration is critical. Every day be inspired by something or someone, and every day try to inspire someone by something you do or say. 11. Have balance in your life. Very few people in their last gasps of air say, “Gee, I wish I would have spent more time at work.”
This seems like a pretty simple list of goals and resolutions to start the New Year. However don’t think of them as
just New Year Resolutions but think of them as the way you should and will live your life.
Lets pretend it is a year later and you have accomplished all of these goals. Where would you be? 1. You would be happier and more optimistic. Good things happen to people with positive attitudes. 2. You wouldn’t say as many dumb things. What a novel idea. 3. You would be healthier, look better and have more energy. Hard to complain about that. 4. People would be impressed with your attitude and effort. I bet you will make more money and your future will be brighter. 5. You would always try your best at work, and your company would do better, which in turn benefits you and your family. This is a win-win for everyone. 6. Everyone would know each other better, and the “water cooler” conversations would be more about family and friends than about gossip. You will also probably get some good ideas of where to go on vacation. 7. You would look good and make great first impressions. Looking in the mirror and smiling at what looks back at you is a great confidence builder. 8. Your clients would love you, you would get more referrals, you would listen to fewer complaints and you would be given more compliments. Also when something goes wrong, you usually get a mulligan. 9. You would make others feel good and in return you would be treated better. Respect by those lower on the 21
food chain than you is critical to your success. 10. When you are inspired, good things happen. Take a few minutes and look up “inspiration” online— you will be glad you did. 11. You would have a life with lots of fulfillment, more success, and stronger friendships. Sounds pretty good to me. Not a bad result. If you spend a year with these goals, I am quite sure you will have a pretty good year. Happy New Year—be safe, be healthy, and hug someone you love.
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“The dead soldier’s silence sings our national anthem.” Rev. Aaron Kilbourn
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Chapter SIX
THE FLAG THING This is a story of playing the Star Spangled Banner at every Little League game I coached and why it was important to do so.
When my kids were young, I coached their Little League and softball teams for more than ten years. Before each game, we would line the teams up along the first and third baselines and have one player from each team walk out to the pitcher’s mound and hold the American flag. Back then, I had one of those big, clunky boom boxes (which I had to replace every few seasons as dust from the field ruined them completely), and we would play The Star-Spangled Banner. The kids took off their caps and placed their hands over their hearts; some of them would sing and some of them would stand there and fidget, but before every game without fail, they would trot out onto the field and listen to the national anthem.
This flag ceremony happened well over a hundred times, and looking back there were two things that amazed me.
First, as I looked around the stands, the parents and grandparents stood proudly with hands over their hearts, their hats off, mouthing the words or singing in a low whisper. A few of them even had tears in their eyes—to be honest, I am still not sure if they were crying because the kids were so cute, or because of the unexpected burst of patriotism they felt upon hearing the anthem. Either way, the small patriotic act of playing the national anthem before our baseball games elicited an emotional response.
Second, I never quite understood this, but throughout the decade that I coached, I never saw another coach do the
same thing. They all respected what we were doing and had their team line up along the baselines with our team, but there were never any copycats. Before each game, I would walk over to the other coaches and mention that I would like to play the national anthem, and everyone always happily and proudly participated. Maybe they just didn’t have a boom box or a flag. 25
After about ten years, three boom boxes, and probably over 100 renditions of The Star-Spangled Banner, we had
made it to the championship game for the Fourth Grade Girls’ Softball League. Just before the game was about to start, the opposing coach came up to me and asked, “Hey Steve—are we going to do that ‘flag thing’ before the game?”
I responded, “By the ‘flag thing,’ are you referring to the Star Spangled Banner, our national anthem, and the tradi-
tion of playing it before a ball game? Yes, yes we are going to be doing the ‘flag thing.’”
To this he replied, “Well, it takes too long to line everyone up, and we have to get the game going.”
I suggested to him that if he wanted to, he could leave his team in the dugout and watch, but my team, the umpires, and all the spectators at the game would rise, take off their hats, and sing The Star-Spangled Banner.
In the end, both teams participated in the “flag thing” and the game was played without any delay.
The reason for the story is that, but for a few exceptions, virtually every American feels a sense of pride, patriotism
and duty when they hear the first few chords of The Star-Spangled Banner and see the American flag rise. I still get goosebumps every time.
This coming weekend is Memorial Day, and although I never served in the military, I have had a number of close
friends, as well as my dad and his dad before him, who have served. One of my closest friends was on the first SEAL team in Vietnam. I’ve talked to him many times over the years about his experience serving his country. He would speak of the daily pervasive, daunting question always at the back of his mind: “Is today the day I will die for my country, or will I get to live another day?”
I always get very, very emotional when I think about the sacrifices and the unimaginable challenges he and every
member of the military have to face every day. For me, the basic exercise of having five- to twelve-year-olds participate in singing the national anthem was (and continues to be) simply the right thing to do. It is a sign of respect to the generations of Americans who have fought and sacrificed their lives for future generations, as well as to the millions of Americans today who voluntarily put their lives on the line so that we may continue to live ours. As the kids stood out there and looked into the stands, they saw the impact the national anthem had on their parents and grandparents; they could see the pride it instilled in those who served, and the gratitude expressed by those who did not.
Maybe the kids got it, and maybe they didn’t—there were certainly a few adults who didn’t get the “flag thing”—but
it was one small thing I could do to thank those who had served, honor those who had fallen, and maybe instill a little patriotism, pride, and gratitude in the kids. 26
The point of this chapter is patriotism, and while I evidently do not have the space to say everything I’d like to, as
you start your summer holiday, enjoy a three-day weekend and relax with your family and friends, please be sure to look up to the sky and say thank you to the men and women who gave their lives so we could all live a more peaceful one.
I encourage you to go to YouTube and search for “Memorial Day Tribute”. About 50 videos will show up, pick a
couple, watch them and try not to cry. It will make you count your blessings and thank those who gave their “all” for us to have a better life.
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Chapter SEVEN
MY SAAB STORY
This is a story about if you take care of things they last a long time. Whether it is a relationship or a personal item, showing “the love” will keep it around.
On May 14, 1983 I bought a red Saab 900S Turbo. 375,000 miles and 35 years later, I still drive it, though I no longer drive it everyday. When I do drive it, I am still impressed with its speed, handling and 5 speed stick shift. When I wash it, it almost looks brand new, and each year around its birthday I get the Saab detailed. When it is clean and shiny it always seems to drive a little faster and the engine seems to purr more than rattle. Driving around, I receive the occasional honks and thumbs ups from people who probably still wish they had their old Saabs. My car has survived fender benders, break-ins, and trunks full of Little League baseball equipment or home improvement materials. As much as friends might have expected me to get a new car years ago, I just can’t pull the trigger. God willing, I think the Saab is here to stay.
I’m 64, and I must admit it seems a little strange to drive the same car I bought when I was 28. But why not? It
works, looks good, is very safe, and still gets 25 miles to the gallon. I can afford a new car, so it is not about saving money. It’s actually probably more expensive to keep it running seeing as how parts are tricky to find and there aren’t many Saab mechanics around anymore.
Why do I do it? I think the message is quite simple: if you buy something of quality and take care of it, it will last
a long time. Rather than getting rid of it, if something breaks or isn’t working properly, my first instinct is to try and fix it. I believe with a little bit of determination you can mend most anything and take pride in having fixed something that was broken. 375,000 miles is a lot to most people, but the Saab seems almost new to me. I hope to see the odometer cross 400,000 miles in a few years.
There’s no chance my Saab would still be functioning if I hadn’t changed the oil often. My grandfather told my 29
dad and my dad told me to change the oil every 3000 miles, so I do. Taking the extra effort to monitor my mileage and oil levels is a simple task in practice, and it proves to be beneficial for my car. Changing the oil reflects a routine maintenance and attention to detail; my Saab is not the only thing that deserves this care.
I’ve applied the same principle in other aspects of my life. Whether it is possessions or relationships, you can make
them long term with some TLC (tender loving care) . I have been on over 60 backpacking trips over the last 45 years. The trip that began it all was with a group of friends from first grade. The tradition continues with those same old friends, my brother, my son, and his friends. Each year it gets a little harder to hike some 50 miles and even harder to coordinate scheduling around everyone’s busy lives, but I care about these trips, so I put in the effort to maintain them. I have some equipment that has been on all 60 trips. My favorite piece is a lightweight folding steel frying pan that my sister-in-law’s father gave me over 4 decades ago. He had it for over 30 years before that. With a little math we can figure out that the frying pan is 75 years old yet works like I could have bought it yesterday. Why would I ever get a new one?
The loyalty stretches to other areas of my life such as the fact that my children are 5th generation San Francisco
babies. Our family has stuck together for decades, and by some luck and good fortune my siblings, parents, and I, all live within a few miles of each other; the furthest two are only a mere 15 minutes away. This helps keep family dinners and holiday attendance high.
Beyond my personal life, in my professional career I’ve had client relationships and friendships that have spanned 30
to 40 years. This is a proud accomplishment, but without constant effort and care, they wouldn’t exist. The loyalty and trust that these relationships require is not easy, but it is worth it. Keeping in touch could be a phone call, email, holiday card with a written note, or even a text. It’s about being there when people need it or making an effort to remain in each others’ lives. Starting a new company a few years back would have been impossible had it not been for many long term clients who agreed to take a risk and join our new venture. With this support we have grown our small firm from 7 to over 40 employees in less than 4 years.
So what is the overall message? Why am I telling you a story about a car that is over 35 years old? The point is about
making an effort with the things you value. It is about your legacy, what you choose to cherish, and what you’ll leave behind. Taking the time to understand what in your life you have put in the effort to maintain, to grow and to develop is a great indicator of your values. When people are at your funeral, hopefully they won’t be talking about how hard you
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worked, but rather how full your life was and how much you impacted the lives of others.
With Labor Day approaching, it’s a time of change—the traditional end of summer, kids going back to school, and
the long road to the Holiday Season are all upon us. This gives us a chance for reflection. Whether you are looking back at the past couple months, the year, a decade or 6-7 decades, Labor Day offers a momentary pause to observe and to ponder what has remained an important part of your life, what you have put effort into, and what deserves more of your time.
Contrary to this title’s sad connotation held within a pun, my “Saab story” has brought out values such as loyalty
and commitment rather than tears. I hope to inspire you to have a reflective conversation with yourself, friends, family, or all of the above.
A quote I have in my office from Ralph Waldo Emerson is a good way to end: “To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, To find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
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“Can you tell me where he’s gone? I thought I saw him walkin’ up over the hill With Abraham, Martin, and John” Dion
Chapter EIGHT
ABRAHAM, MARTIN & JOHN This is a story of the 1960s when I was growing up. During this decade we had the civil rights movement, the Vietnam war, three assassinations, the summer of love, landing on the moon, and some of the best music ever recorded.
President John Kennedy was assassinated on November 23, 1963. That is 55 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in fourth grade at Corpus Christi School in San Francisco when the announcement came over the intercom system. Everyone in the classroom including the nuns started to cry. For the next three days as the nation mourned and buried our President, you just knew your life would never be the same, and quite frankly American lost its innocence that day. Whether you were a Democrat or a Republican, it didn’t matter on that day because we were all Americans.
With the recent elections and partisan politics, I think we can all agree that somehow, we need to come together as
a nation. We seem to be lacking a leader with an inspirational vision that most of us can agree on. Kennedy’s challenge of, “we choose to go to the moon”; Martin Luther King’s cry, “I have a dream”, and Bobby Kennedy’s simple statement, “Some people see things and ask why, I dream things that have never been and ask, why not” I thought I would share my thoughts on inspiration for the 60s.
I grew up in the 60s. From Kindergarten to High School, from walking to school to driving to school, from hating
girls to my first love. It was a time of tragedy, social reform, and inspiration. It was a tremendous time of change, and as a firm believer in vision and inspiration, the 60s remain an influential time for me to look back on. As I’m sure many of you do as well, I hold vivid flashbulb memories of the assassinations that plagued our country during that decade. President John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., and Senator Robert “Bobby” F. Kennedy all served as inspirational figures, and all had their lives tragically cut short in the 60s. 33
Written by Dick Holier in the days after Bobby Kennedy’s assassination, “Abraham, Martin and John” was recorded
and popularized by the singer, Dion. The message of aspiring to greatness carries through the soft rhythm of the ballad, reminding our nation of Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., John F. Kennedy, and Robert F. Kennedy—icons of social change. Whether or not you’re familiar with the song, I urge you to read over the lyrics. If you already know the song, you can even hum the tune. Or if you want to play it click here. If you grew up in the 60s, you will probably get a tear in your eye. Anybody here seen my old friend Abraham Can you tell me where he’s gone? He freed lotta people but it seems the good they die young You know I just looked around and he’s gone Anybody here seen my old friend John? Can you tell me where he’s gone? He freed lotta people but it seems the good they die young I just looked around and he’s gone Anybody here seen my old friend Martin? Can you tell me where he’s gone? He freed lotta people but it seems the good they die young I just looked around and he’s gone Didn’t you love the things that they stood for? Didn’t they try to find some good for you and me? And we’ll be free Some day soon, it’s gonna be one day
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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby? Can you tell me where he’s gone? I thought I saw him walkin’ up over the hill With Abraham, Martin, and John
Abraham Lincoln—there are obvious reasons he has remained one of the most popular and well-respected presi-
dents of our country. With a vision to keep the union together and a fight for human liberty, Lincoln’s reputation is one of freedom. Lincoln’s status as an inspiring public figure and speaker remains influential even 150 years after his assassination.
In the early 60s, John F. Kennedy inspired a nation with his presidency, and, more specifically, his moon vision. His
goal was to get a man on the moon by the end of the decade and to “do it right; do it first.” JFK sought to organize and measure the best the country could offer and accept the challenge to fly a man to the moon and return him safely to earth. Perhaps his most well attributed quote speaks to his character and vision more than any paraphrasing could. “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
Martin Luther King Jr., an icon of non-violence and the civil rights movement, and an advocate for ending segre-
gation, prejudice and hatred, took the 60s by storm. MLK had a dream that to this day remains a goal in the fight for racial equality. His assassination shook the country but could not shatter his vision. It was in part his sacrifice that led to the passing of the Civil Rights Act, permanently enshrining in law the rights to which he had devoted his life, and protecting those rights for future generations.
The day of MLK’s assassination, Bobby Kennedy gave an impromptu speech to the people of Indianapolis to deliv-
er the tragic news. In what has come to be known as the “greatest speech ever,” Kennedy delivered pure inspiration from the back of a truck. He prompted people to think about what kind of nation the U.S. is. While people can be fixated on hatred, they can instead make the choice to put effort into understanding, compassion, and love. A vision for social change and a united country, Bobby was assassinated 63 days later after winning the California Democratic Primary in Los Angeles, California.
These men are connected not because they were assassinated, but because they spoke to our country in strong,
visionary ways, and they were all killed for those inspirational messages without seeing them come to fruition. While you 35
may not agree with all of their messages, it’s hard to disagree with their powerful influence on the country and the world in the almost fifty years since their deaths. In the last 20 years, I believe there has been little inspiration in the U.S. that matches the level outlined by Lincoln, King, Kennedy, and Kennedy.
I’ll leave you with a quote taken from George Bernard Shaw and paraphrased by Robert Kennedy that sums up the
message these four men strived for, fought for, and died promoting: “Most people see things the way they are and ask “Why?” I dream things that have never been, and ask, Why Not”
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Chapter NINE
THE TOUGHEST GUY I KNOW This story is about my dad, Dave Mayer, who passed away on April 29, 2017. He was a simple family man who cared deeply about his family and friends, always did the right thing and was the toughest guy I’ve ever knew.
It is also a bridge to Father’s Day, which is a bit of an under-appreciated holiday. There are many dads out there who raised their families, made incredible sacrifices to care for them, and at the end, when they were sick and in pain, their only concern was about their family.
These are great men who put themselves last and others first. I hope this story about my dad and all of the things he
did, brings back memories of special times that you had with your dad and creates a sense of appreciation for all of the dads out there as Father’s Day is approaching.
Four score and seven years ago today, on June 5, 1930, my dad, David Bernard Mayer, was born in San Francisco.
His dad, Barney, was a plumber and his mom was a housewife. Together, they raised four boys. My dad was the second-born.
My father died on April 29, 2017, just a month shy of his 87th birthday. The memorial service was on May 5th. It
was a tremendous tribute to a quiet man who touched countless lives. The church was packed, with every seat taken and many people standing, and I had many people mention that it was one of the best memorial services they ever attended. Even the funeral director said, “I have been to over a thousand funerals, but I can’t remember a more impressive service and tribute than your dad’s.”
How would I describe my dad? In his obituary, there is a dash between the day he was born and the day he passed
away; that dash represents his life. For him, the dash is quite extraordinary.
To start with, he was the toughest man I have ever known. He battled cancer for over 28 years, starting in 1989
when he had his cancerous bladder removed and replaced with a bag. When I looked at his medical chart, it went on 39
like the rap sheet of a serial criminal. Sometimes I was amazed he had any body parts left—six different bouts of cancer including over 100 surgeries to remove skin cancer, numerous chemo protocols, 30 days of high radiation, hip replacement, shoulder surgery, gallbladder, diverticulitis causing the loss of half his intestines, and even a back surgery—just to make sure stitches were distributed evenly all over his body. During this same time, my parents’ house was destroyed in a fire and after rebuilding, they were burglarized and many of our family heirlooms were taken. Through all of this, he never complained, never lost his faith in God and never stopped loving his family, especially my mom. They held hands every day for 70 years and truly loved each other with incredible admiration.
Perhaps the best testimony to his ability to deal with pain and keep his sense of humor is the following story:
Just a few months ago, when he was just starting to be very sick, (he had started a 30-day regiment of radiation after
the removal of a second cancerous tumor on his neck), he tripped and fell and broke his leg. For two days, he hobbled around the house saying it didn’t hurt much. We finally had him admitted to the hospital and then a rehab center, where he stayed for almost two weeks. Every day, he would go by ambulance to get radiation. When he was sent home, he continued the daily travel routine for radiation, but he was still not able to support his body weight.
One night at about 3 AM, he heard a crash in the kitchen and, after disconnecting his bladder bag, hobbled out of
bed, got his walker and went to the kitchen to investigate. My mom had fallen, hurt her shoulder and could not get up. My dad tried to get her up, but he was not strong enough to lift her. So, for about 30 minutes, he hobbled around the house with his walker and proceeded to get blankets and a pillow for my mom to make her night on the kitchen floor as comfortable as possible, and then went back to bed. The next morning my sister arrived at the house to find mom sleeping on the floor in the kitchen, and she too could not get her up. By this time the ambulance people arrived for the daily radiation trip, got my mom up and asked why my dad didn’t call someone, or at least 911. He smiled and said, “It was the middle of the night, I didn’t want to bother anyone,” and then went off for his radiation treatment.
Besides being tough, he was a quiet man, a man of few words except when he was telling a story and then he could
go on for quite a while. We would all listen patiently for the punchline or the end of the story. Sometimes it was there; sometimes he just stopped talking and we would all look at each other wondering if we missed THE END. We hadn’t— it was just a “Dave Story”.
He was a man who was respected by everyone who knew him. I never heard a negative word about him from any-
one. Rather, people would go out of their way to say how much they loved him. 40
He was a teacher, who taught his kids by example through perhaps the greatest love story of anyone I know. From
the time he met my mom at a party when they were 16—he in a leather coat and she in a white angora sweater—they loved each other, got married at 19, raised four children and held hands every day. They were still holding hands when he took his last breath.
Growing up, he struggled a bit in his youth. He got kicked out of a few schools, had 3-4 car wrecks and perhaps was
not the finest student. My mom and her mom thought he was worth saving and proceeded to straighten him out and guided him into the role model he grew to be for his kids and grandkids. Always doing the right thing, always looking out for the underdog, always worried about everyone else and seldom concerned about himself.
He had a great career in the San Francisco Police Department. He started out walking a beat in the Ingleside dis-
trict, where we grew up, and then was transferred to Central Station and walked the beat in North Beach. The shopkeepers and restaurant owners loved him, and we were frequent guests of a great meal from a grateful inn-keeper. He became a detective and went into the bureau and served with distinction in a number of details—including the warrants, fraud, pawn, and even the dignitary security detail. One of his prized possessions was a picture showing him reaching for his gun and moving to shield President Ford during the assassination attempt at the St. Francis Hotel. President Ford autographed the picture with a note of gratitude.
He also believed in saving for retirement and made sure all of his kids and grandkids had bank accounts at the SF
Police Credit Union, where he proudly served on the board for over 35 years. One of the last messages I received from him that is still saved on my phone is my dad saying, “Stephen, just wanted to tell you I went down to the credit union and put $100 in each of the kids’ accounts. Tell them they have a little spending money from grandma and me, but don’t spend it all – save some for a rainy day.”
He knew who and what he liked, and who and what he didn’t like. He was always quick to tell us who he was voting
for and why we should do the same. Drove my wife crazy. He hated corn and broccoli, and though we often tried to hide it on his plate, we could never fool him. He was very impressed when President Bush told his staff, “I am the President, I hate broccoli and never want to see it again.” He had his heroes—John Wayne and Clint Eastwood; loved Frank Sinatra, hated loud, banging music.
He was deeply patriotic and loved the American flag. He was a veteran who proudly served on a submarine. His
love for God and Country was only exceeded by his love of his family. While still in the Navy our mom was extremely 41
sick during her pregnancy with my older brother. When his commanding officer would not “grant leave” for him to be with her, he went AWOL to be with her to make sure she and the baby were okay. He loved the military and requested “taps” at his memorial service. The officers marching, folding the flag and presenting it to my mom and playing taps was incredibly touching.
He loved working on his kids’ houses and helping them remodel. Early on he was not much of a permit guy, and
often did projects with the attitude that it was better to ask for forgiveness, than ask for permission. I remember him adding on two large rooms to our house in San Francisco, and when the inspector showed up as the project was finishing, my dad explained that he thought you only need a permit if you did a big project.
Discipline with Dave was always a little tough to understand. It seemed if you did something that was not that big
of a deal, you got in a lot of trouble. Not eating your vegetables (other than broccoli) was a major crime, but wrecking the car wasn’t that big of a deal. Once in high school, I went out on a joy ride with some friends in my dad’s undercover police car. He knew but never said a word until 40 years later at dinner one night, he asked me, “Stephen, I have been meaning to ask you if you ever took my police car out for a ride.” I couldn’t believe asking me about this 40 years later. Never quite figured that out, but I thought it was pretty cool.
I remember summer vacations at Lake County and Lake Tahoe, endlessly playing games, watching fireworks and
enjoying water sports.
I remember him being home for family dinner almost every night, often in his police uniform because while on duty
he took his dinner break to be with his family.
I remember him going to every school event and every sports event for his kids, and he continued the tradition by
attending most events for his grandkids and even great-grandkids.
He loved to read, especially mystery and detective stories, and often you would catch him watching episode after
episode of Law and Order or NCIS.
He always knew a guy—whether it was to get a summer job, buy a car, fix a furnace, buy an engagement ring—he
always had a connection and “knew a guy.” One thing was consistent; when you reached out to the guy, the response was always the same—“I love your dad, he is a great guy, how can I help you?”
He taught us the value of working hard—we all had summer jobs, paper routes, and mowed lawns and washed
cars for spending money. He taught us to never give up and never to back down. The bigger the fight, the tougher the 42
situation—keep your wits about you and never give up. When I abruptly left a company that I co-founded and ran for 25 years, he knew I was devastated, but when I immediately started a new company he was very proud.
He taught me how to tackle after watching me jump on someone’s back at my first football game. “Head up, plant it
between the guy and the goal line, wrap your arms and drive him into the ground.” After that lesson, I often heard that there weren’t many people who hit as hard as I did on the gridiron. My dad taught me that. He also coached my brother’s baseball team and was a parent leader in the Boy Scouts.
He taught us how to love and respect our spouses and our kids. He always had good advice for us all.
Some of the favorites included: •
Change the oil in your car every 3000 miles and your car will last 30 years. I drive a 34-year-old SAAB.
•
Never buy cheap tools. They break and then you have to replace them.
•
If you dry between your toes after you take a shower, you won’t get athletes foot.
•
Hold on to your shirt sleeves when you put on a coat or sweater, so the sleeves won’t get bunched up.
•
When you get off the freeway in San Francisco, lock your doors.
•
Sometimes he was just so “Dave”. For example, he always told the kids when he saw them in jeans with intentional rips and holes, “I can buy you a new pair” or after his house was burglarized, he went to my sister’s house and hung “alarm” signs to trick the robbers into thinking they had an alarm system.
So that, my friends, is the DASH that represents my dad’s life. He was not a rich man, but when measured by the
way he lived his life and the legacy he left for us—I know that was worth more to him than all the money in the world.
I was in a store the other day and saw a display of Father’s Day gifts and cards. I started choking up because I didn’t
have a dad to buy something for. So, instead, I told myself that I would write this chapter and send it out as a tribute to an extraordinary man and a truly great father. I hope that for those of you who no longer have a dad to give you a big hug, you will think back to when you did and cherish the memories.
For those of you that have a dad that is still with you, make sure he knows how much you care and love him. A dad
is a very special person, and I am lucky to have had a great one for 63 years.
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Chapter TEN
WHY WE BOUGHT A BOOKSTORE This is a story about buying local and supporting those people who run businesses in your neighborhood. Have you ever wondered what happened to so many of the local neighborhood businesses that were part of your life when you were growing up?
There is no single answer, but between high rents, internet sales, “Big Box” discount stores, expensive employee
costs and changing lifestyles, the family-owned neighborhood businesses have had a tough time trying to survive. Change is good and provides many opportunities; however, I can’t help but believe one day we will all look back and, as in the Dr. Seuss book, “The Lorax,” we will be like the Once-ler and regret what has happened.
Neighborhoods, downtown areas, and shopping malls used to be filled with local small businesses, many of them
owned by families who lived in the same neighborhood and whose kids went to school and church with the same people who shopped at their stores. A community’s local establishments such as bookstores, pharmacies, clothing boutiques, repair shops, grocery stores, coffee shops and other types of retail shops were the lifeblood of the neighborhood. The owner not only knew each aisle, shelf, and product, but knew many of the customers by first name. Each business was unique, often with an interesting history, many spanning generations, offering summer jobs to the kids in the area and donating time, money, and merchandise to local activities. Local businesses kept money in the community and hired neighborhood employees. No one had to drive 40 miles to get to work. The money multiplier stayed local, and communities reaped the benefits. Owners greeting locals was common, creating close, community relationships, and daily business activities were all located within the store itself rather than at a national headquarters.
Today, it is a different story. With national chains located in every neighborhood, these “anonymous” businesses
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are causing the strength of a community’s locally-owned and managed businesses to disappear. Many people buy the majority of their purchases on the internet, which is also making it hard for the local business to survive. When I return to the San Francisco neighborhood where I grew up, over 90% of the businesses where my family shopped are no longer there.
I find this sad and very disturbing. Believe me, I understand capitalism and the need for change, but spending a little
more at the local store, instead of a “Big Box” retailer or the internet, goes a long way to keeping these local establishments in business.
I’m a fan of the little guys working hard to make a living and having a connection to their community. That’s why,
when my wife and I had the opportunity twenty years ago to help Books Inc., the largest independent book seller in the west, we took a gamble, trusted our gut, and said yes. Books Inc. had just gone through a bankruptcy, resulting in the closing of eleven of their thirteen stores and needed capital to rebuild the company. As a kid growing up, I spent a lot of time in the local hobby shop, the local hardware store and the local bookstore. My favorite was the bookstore. There was something special about the relationship between books, reading, schools, kids, families and a neighborhood. Even though most independent bookstores were having a tough time, we were determined to help the company and its management create a community asset in the neighborhoods of the Bay Area. Some people warned us the local bookstore was a business whose time had come and gone, but we thought otherwise.
Books Inc. started its business in San Francisco in 1851 and has operated continuously for almost 170 years. The
company now owns and operates eleven bookstores, all of which (other than their stores located at San Francisco International Airport) are in neighborhoods supporting the local community. On an annual basis, we host over one thousand authors, book fairs or school events at the stores. We actively support over 100 schools and employ 150 people. When I go into the stores and walk around, I am amazed how knowledgeable the staff is about the inventory and how helpful they are with customers. Many of the staff have been working at Books Inc, for ten, twenty and, in some cases, thirty years.
Seeing little kids sitting on their parent’s lap (or, in many cases their grandparents’) reading books, and not tapping
their smart phones, brings a smile to my face.
I advocate for buying locally whenever possible. I am probably a dinosaur, but I seldom buy anything on the internet
and certainly never on Amazon. To me Amazon is like the Empire in Star Wars. At a recent meeting with a group of 46
small business leaders in San Francisco, I was amazed that Amazon has displaced almost 150,000 retail jobs in the last decade, many of them the part-time jobs we all had as kids growing up. Since their warehouses are in remote locations, they don’t pay market wages or benefits to their employees. I realize the reality of only buying at the farmers’ market or at local businesses is not easy or even realistic in practice. However, I do know putting forth the extra effort to buy and support local businesses goes a long way in the community.
When given the option between buying through the internet or from a company that has dozens of locations in
each state, versus going to the local store, I challenge you to opt for the latter. The couple extra dollars you may pay are going back into your community and are stimulating the economy around you. Walking around a shopping district, you may find yourself thinking, “Hey, I remember when that store was there. I wonder what happened?” You can make a difference and contribute to the success of your local businesses simply by buying less on the internet and shopping more locally.
I started this chapter asking if people remember Dr. Seuss’s book, “The Lorax.” I am sure many of you read it when
you were in Kindergarten. It tells the story of what happens to a community when an entrepreneur known as Once-ler begins to cut down the Truffula Trees to make a special garment out of Thneed. Though the Lorax warns of destroying the town by cutting down the trees, Once-ler doesn’t care as he is making a lot of money. The product is a success and Once-ler expands his factory and hires more people to cut down the trees for the Thneed. Soon all of the Truffula trees are gone, the air is full of pollution from the factory and lack of trees, and the animals and birds that lived in the trees were forced to leave. The community is destroyed, and all of the people move away. When the Lorax leaves, left behind is a monument with the words “unless” written on it. It is only then that Once-ler realizes the meaning of “unless” that the Lorax was trying to tell him- “unless someone cares a great deal, the situation will never improve.” Might be a good idea to go to your local bookstore and buy a copy of the Lorax. It is a lesson in sustainability, community, consumerism, and progress that we could all learn from again.
And so that’s why we invested in Books, Inc. We believe in supporting local companies and appreciate
the value they add to communities. Before you push that button on your computer and buy a book online at Amazon, remember the Lorax’s words somewhat paraphrased, “unless you support your local business, the business will be gone forever.”
Please buy local. 47
Chapter ELEVEN
MAN IN BLACK This is a story about professional appearance and why making an effort to dress sharply can add to your success.
There is a Johnny Cash song titled “Man in Black,” which is one of my all-time favorite songs, and it now gives me an opportunity to discuss my personal philosophy on professional appearance. The song describes why Johnny Cash wore black throughout his entire career. He said dressing in black represented a lot of what is wrong with the world and until those problems are solved, he would continue to dress in black. The song goes on to say he would love to wear a rainbow of bright-colored clothes, but he just can’t at this time. Some of the words are as follows: “Well you wonder why I always dress in black, why you never see bright colors on my back, and why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone, well there’s a reason for the things I have on. I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down livin’ in the hopeless hungry side of town. I wear it for the sick and lonely old, for the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold. I wear the black in mournin’ for the lives that could have been, each week we lose a hundred fine young men. Well there’s things that never will be right I know, and things need changin’ everywhere you go but ‘til we start to make a move to make a few things right you’ll never see me wear a suit of white. I’d love to wear a rainbow every day and tell the world that everything’s ok, but I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back ‘til things are brighter, I’m the man in black.”
In a similar way to how Johnny Cash explained why he dressed in black, I would like to share my philosophy on
“Why I Wear a Tie” every day. For full disclosure, lately I don’t wear a tie on Fridays but for 40 years of work I wore one every day.
I wear a tie because I am very proud of being the owner of my business and want to make sure I always look profes49
sional. I think our staff is impressed that I still make an effort to look professional. I believe that the position of our firm in the business community requires a certain stature and appearance to properly represent our image in the marketplace. Many people think that I am a dinosaur and that ties are old fashioned. I disagree and can’t count the times that I have been in meetings with other professionals that looked like slobs. Not sure what the client thought, but I am sure they notice the difference.
I wear a tie because I never know what unexpected meeting I am going to be called to attend, who I will unex-
pectedly meet, or on what client situation I will be asked to intervene. When I walk into any of these situations, I want their initial impression of me to be positive. I was told by my parents, “You never have a second chance to make a first impression”.
I wear a tie because for the most part we are dealing with people’s money, their business, and their financial future
and security. Although I may be considered old-fashioned, I believe dealing with the financial aspects of people’s lives demands showing them a fair amount of respect. Dressing professionally seems a small price to pay for their trust and confidence.
I wear a tie because in almost every situation you cannot overdress when seeing a client, a candidate, or potential
opportunity. If for some reason you are overdressed you can always remove the tie (and coat if needed), but if you have neither, you certainly cannot put them on.
I wear a tie because in a sense it is a part of my uniform. We have all been to athletic and/or theatric events. When
a team or performers are appropriately dressed for the occasion, it is clear they have made an effort to be presentable to their audience. There is a reason that the Academy Awards honor the “best costumes” and that the entertainment at most first class events has incredible costumes. At the same time we have all been to athletic events or performances where the costumes or uniforms show a lack of discipline or pride and reflects in their performance. While dress does not necessarily make one play better, I believe taking time to dress appropriately for the occasion has everything to do with attitude, and someone with a positive attitude always performs better than someone who does not.
I wear a tie because when I go to the “Big Game” and I see how professional the Cal marching band looks com-
pared to the Stanford band, it is obvious to me that dressing up is probably the right thing to do. Regardless of whether you are a fan of Berkeley or Stanford, I think the general consensus is that the Cal band is a symbol of pride and professionalism and the Stanford band, many times, is an embarrassment to the university and its alumni. 50
So that’s why I wear a tie. I think your success in life can many times be improved by first impressions. Appearance
has a lot to do with first impressions. Last time I checked no one ever stopped breathing or lost a client because they were over-dressed.
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Chapter TWELVE
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS This story of Bill Blanchard, who was paralyzed while playing high school football and never gave up.
Most of you have either seen or heard of the movie and TV show “Friday Night Lights. It is about a High School Football team in Texas that played their games on Friday Nights under the Lights. In this fictional story, the quarterback is injured during a tackle and is paralyzed.
This chapter depicts the true story of Bill Blanchard and his injury and real life battle as a quadriplegic for almost 50 years.
On August 31, 1970, senior defensive back, Bill Blanchard, made a headfirst tackle on a running back
during football practice. It happened 5 feet from where I was standing and almost 50 years later I can see the play developing in my mind in slow motion. Bill didn’t get up, and the coaches immediately knew this was not an ordinary injury. The ambulance and paramedics arrived and Bill was taken to a nearby emergency room. There, they quickly realized they could not help and he was transported to the hospital for surgery. Practice was over and we all went home hoping and praying for good news.
The next day, we received terrible news. The bone in Bill’s neck had shattered and caused severe damage to his spi-
nal cord. Most likely he would never walk again. He was 17 years old. Over the next couple of weeks, the initial diagnosis was confirmed, and we all knew Bill would be confined to a life as a quadriplegic. This was not supposed to happen to a high school senior. This was the time in his life that he should be driving his parents crazy, applying to college, having fun with his 5 brothers and sisters and enjoying his senior year.
For the guys on the team, it was a life-changing event. For Bill and his family, it created a challenge of monumental
proportions. Bill would need life-long care and would be confined to a wheelchair. Many of Bill’s dreams and aspirations for the future were now uncertain and new plans needed to be created. 53
The rest of the season was a fog of ups and downs, tears and laughter, and deep emotional scars for players, coach-
es, the student body, and parents. I vividly remember the homecoming game. We played on a Friday night at Kezar Stadium where the 49ers played. During halftime, with the support of one of his nurses, Karmen, Bill came to the game in an ambulance strapped to a gurney with his head held firmly in place. I don’t remember who we played or the score, but I do remember a roar from the stands that could be heard for a mile as he was wheeled into the stadium. Bill’s determination to make it to that game became his lynchpin of fighting through his injury to build a new life for himself.
For me, the accident was a scene I would never forget and many years later it became even more personal. My son
Dylan was playing football as a middle linebacker. He made a tackle and went down on the field on the fifty yard line.
I was in the stands and I could only watch as the refs and coaches moved all of the players off the field to the
sidelines. All I could think of was this is Bill Blanchard all over again. I ran down to the field and saw that the paramedics were holding his neck while an ambulance drove onto the field. In the stands you could hear a pin drop. My heart stopped as terrible thoughts rushed through my mind. And then started again as I saw him move his legs and was told he might have broken his neck but the spine appeared to be ok. His biggest concern was that the paramedics were cutting away his jersey and he was worried he would not get the same number the following week. As he was wheeled into the ambulance, he gave a thumbs up and I knew we had dodged a bullet.
I mention this story as I am positive almost every parent has faced a potentially frightful situation with their chil-
dren. Sometimes we have been lucky to dodge that bullet and other times like Bill’s parents and many others like them— not so lucky. The car crashes, the ski accidents, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time have changed lives forever and left us with challenges we never asked for or expected. I often say life is what happens when you are making other plans and it is certainly true. If this happens to you, may you find the courage to get through it; if it happens to a friend, don’t be shy about checking in and helping. I do remember the principle at Riordan High School saying as he addressed the student body after Bill’s accident, “Men, what you do for Bill and his family today, tomorrow and for the next six months, means little compared what you do for the next 50 years.” Back to Bill’s story Bill graduated from Riordan High School in San Francisco with his class and went on to get a degree in Social Welfare at UC Berkeley. He has always lived independently, and spent most of his adult life in Berkeley. He went on to work at 54
UC Berkeley as a Director/ Coordinator for the Physically Disabled Students Residence Program. There, among other responsibilities, he supervised a staff of 12 Special Assistants who provided personal care for UC students with “severe” physical disabilities. At the same time, the students developed their abilities to hire their own attendants, decide their own directions and eventually live and work independently in the community. Obviously Bill had first-hand knowledge of and empathy for the needs of physically disabled students and was determined to help them learn to be self-sufficient. Bill, also, represented the Residence Program on panels and at conferences for educators. During this time, he was a board member for “Last Call” a Berkeley Emergency Services Program for people with disabilities (known now as “Easy Does It”). After his retirement, Bill served as Secretary and then President of the Shattuck Avenue Lofts Homeowner’s Association. He volunteered at North Berkeley Senior Center, assisting blind and sight impaired Seniors with information on services and activities; the Suicide Prevention Hotline, and SF Sex Information Call In Center. He took a number of classes on various subjects at Berkeley Community College and UC Berkeley’s Life Long Learning program.
He was an activist “by necessity” and participated in the 25-day occupation at the San Francisco Federal Building in
1977, resulting in the signing of Section 504 of the 1973 Rehabilitation Act which guaranteed accessibility to all government buildings, educational institutions and programs that receive federal funding. I asked Bill how he happened to be there and his story is incredible.
“I heard there was going to be a protest at the Federal Building, however, that morning I had an interview for an
internship in a counseling program sponsored by UC San Francisco. Immediately after my interview, I headed for the demonstration because I believed in the cause for which we were fighting. When I got to the building there were almost 200 people who entered the building and the police had blocked off all access and would not permit anyone else into the building. I found out that one of the people in the building had made a call to get additional clothing. I arranged with her attendant to let me try to bring her the clothing. I drove my wheelchair up to the front door and a police officer stopped me from entering. When I explained I was only trying to deliver clothing to a person in the building, the officer told me to “wait here!” as he went to get permission. Not that I’m in a habit of disobeying authority, but as soon as he was far enough away and with his back turned to me, I headed for the elevator and went up to the 4th floor to join the other demonstrators who were now occupiers. I got away with it. No one had expected a long occupation and no one brought food, clothing or supplies with them much less their attendants to help them with bodily functions. I spent the first three nights sleeping in my wheelchair before I graduated to the floor. For the next 25 days over 100 people with 55
various disabilities as well as some able bodied supporters remained in the building. People learned to help each other, and then eventually supplies and attendants were allowed in and we essentially took over the fourth floor of the building. We stayed until section 504 was signed into law guaranteeing future generations access to federally funded programs.”
In a book written about all of the crazy stuff that happened in the 60s and 70s, Bill is quoted about his experience
over those 25 long days and nights, “As I look back on it, the 504 sit-in was an exhausting, uncomfortable, often boring, wonderful experience. I lost weight, didn’t really develop new friendships, lost out on my internship at UCSF, and generally threw my life into temporary disarray. But, given the same circumstances, I would do it again in a heartbeat. It felt so right to be one of the tiny cogs that helped drive the big wheel. The discomforts I experienced meant nothing in comparison to the importance of 504 legislation being signed.”
Throughout his life, Bill lived a modest life and never took more than his fair share of any government program. As
he got older his medical needs and daily assistant needs got greater. Upon his full retirement in June of 2018, Bill lost a major source of income, UC sponsored Long Term Disability payments. Bill used those funds to help pay for his daily attendant care needs required for a quadriplegic to live independently. The loss of these funds threatens Bill’s ability to live independently in his home. In addition, concurrently with this loss of income, both his needs for, and the cost of, attendant care are rising.
Bill anticipated this loss of income a year before it happened and diligently cut back on his expenses at home. For
example he cancelled his cable TV subscription and still uses a ten year old computer. Bill diligently researched other ways to replace the income in order to pay for attendant care, through social services and public benefits, but to no avail, as the options were either disqualifying or share of cost prohibitive.
A recent serious illness, surgery, and hospitalizations have left Bill recovering in bed since January of 2018, and the
need for attendant care increasing even further than anticipated and his newly reduced income will now barely cover the cost of basic attendant care, if that. In addition to Bill’s normal daily routine of an attendant getting him out of and into his bed into and out of his wheelchair daily, and helping with his morning and evening hygiene and medication regimes, attendant care is needed when he is bedbound to bring him meals, turn him in his bed to prevent pressure sores, help with the same daily hygienic and medication regimes including assistance with respiratory therapies and wound care. Now that Bill is 65, and has lost some of the medical assistance he was getting, he has found himself in another battle for survival. The fact that he has lived almost 50 years as a quadriplegic is truly amazing; the fact that there is not more 56
financial assistance for a guy like Bill is a tragedy.
In mid-2018, two lifelong friends of Bill, Dave Mahoney and Dan Hayes along with Bill’s sister Rita began an effort
of reaching out to the San Francisco community where Bill grew up with the goal of raising enough money for Bill to slightly improve his life style and give him the financial security for his medical expenses. At the writing of this chapter the outpouring of support and friendship to Bill is a bit overwhelming. We are quite confident we will raise enough money to help pay Bill’s medical expenses that are no longer covered. Just like the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” at the end when the entire town of Bedford Falls comes together to help George Baily (Jimmy Stewart) the people that have watch Bill live his life with dignity and class have stepped up to help him.
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“Look at these men. They are obviously on the downside of their careers.� Andre Dawson Major League Baseball Hall-of-Famer Managing Kids Against No Bats in Bimini, Bahamas 2006
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Chapter THIRTEEN
NO BATS BASEBALL This is a story written by my friend, Ted Simendinger, who founded “No Bats Baseball Club” in an effort to promote charity and goodwill through the game of baseball. To date, they’ve donated over $1.7 million.
I founded No Bats by accident in 1991. I was in my mid-thirties, that gray zone of a man’s life where athleticism oozes toward patheticism without warning. Spring training news was on ESPN, I hadn’t played hardball since high school, and I missed it. Women and college had gotten in the way, and both were shoved aside by the distractions of a real job and monthly bills that seemed to arrive daily. Neckties saw more action than me.
A friend urged me to rent out Dodgertown in Vero Beach, Florida. I did and word spread. The drumbeats of other
mid-life males were loud. Within one day 42 guys signed on to participate, a number that mushroomed to 60 before I quickly circled the wagons. I wasn’t in this for the money—I straight-lined the cost and divided it out—and invented something the folks at Dodgertown had never seen: a baseball fantasy camp where no one good was coming to play. To juice things up I invited Kevin Costner, who passed. Pete Rose was willing to come if he got paid. Neither was missed.
A close pal of mine, Smilin’ Jay Davis, an entrepreneurial sort killed by a drunk driver last summer while being a
dad to one of his five lovely daughters, helped me organize that first season. When our beautiful October opening day arrived, Smiler was so excited he drove up early but forgot our uniforms in his garage. He did what few men would do after messing up en route to a male bonding weekend: Smiler called his wife, a petite saint of a woman nine months pregnant with their first child, told her to load and drive the uni’s ninety miles north up I-95, drop them off, and leave. Dutifully, she did. Thanks to Susie Davis, we looked better than we played. With the exception of one season in Alvin, Texas where our nipples bled from mesh uniforms due to a sadistic fashion choice by a guy named Johnny G, No Bats ballplayers typically look okay waddling onto the field. 59
The emphasis that first season was on brotherhood and friendship, not winning and losing. We chose sides to keep
the teams even and pitched to our teammates so everyone could feel the joy of hitting a hardball with a pro wood bat. The crack of the bat is magic to a man, as is the smell of a good leather glove. It was these things I wanted to protect— the emotional experience of a safe haven for every man—throughout a long, fun weekend where every man was equal. Time has proven this to be the magic of the No Bats way: We are kindred souls who give more than we take, support each other, and strive to be positive influences on the lives of others.
Smiler and I had a structure around what we were doing that first season but not a lot of rules. I settled on four,
which worked well then and have remained steadfast ever since: No wives. No kids. No drugs. No arguing. They worked then and still work now, the only rules we’ve ever needed.
It didn’t take long before I knew we were onto something good. The first run in club history was scored by a Boston
mailman who stumbled while running home, lost his balance, and landed face-first on home plate. He got up smiling, not whining, and had accomplished what each of us set out to do: He had circled the bases and relived a happy childhood memory.
The four-team tournament ended up with a stunning upset in a driving rain, which somehow seemed fitting. The
winners were inspired by a Baltimore guy who knew a lot about seamless gutters. Frenchie’s pre-game speech inspired the underdogs.
“We may not win the game,” he said, “but we will win the party.” His teammates took it from there and the shock-
ing, against-all-odds Miracle in Mud capped a truly transcendent weekend.
As we have each autumn since, the guys showed up on a Thursday, leave on a Sunday, and never seem anxious to
go. After returning home that inaugural season, Annapolis schoolteacher Jon Braun was asked how the weekend went. He looked at the guy and slowly shook his head.
“It was like Vietnam,” he said. “If you weren’t there, you’d never understand.”
That inaugural season turned into a second, followed by a third. By then I realized we needed to hit the road, so we
did. Thanks to the support of Nolan Ryan, who has hosted us three times in three different cities, many Major League stars and ballclubs have invited us, as have minor league teams. Aside from the Arizona Diamondbacks, who confiscated our water and Gatorade and put a minibar of their own in a trash can of ice in each dugout, most of the franchises have been quite generous. 60
For a long time now, the backbone of our annual No Bats weekend has involved giving back to charity. We are, in
many ways, the ideal guest. No Bats visits a community, spends tourist dollars, raises and donates significant amounts of money for their host organization’s chosen charities, and leave. Houseguests with a purpose, so to speak.
Since finding our charity legs in year five, we have raised and donated nearly $1.7 million, a total driven largely by
the energies and efforts of Ted Darby, a real estate title executive from Plano, Texas, and Dan Carroll, an accountant from Chicago. Darb is old, DC is young. They cross generations but share a giver’s soul. Such is the baton handoff of lives well lived.
The No Bats charity purpose is overlaid by the quote, “A man’s life means nothing, “except for the impact it has on
others.” These are words paraphrased from a speech given late in life by Jackie Robinson and pretty much captures why we do what we do, and the spirit in which we do it.
No Bats visits a new city each year and exposes our members and donors to new causes. Ours are weekends of pos-
itive rejuvenation. Each attendee is warmly embraced by what has grown into a strong, true brotherhood. Mortality, we know, is very inconvenient; and will ruin a lot of weekends.
About sixty guys show up each year and most have been doing it for more than fifteen years. More than a hundred
men from coast to coast, plus Russia and the Bahamas, belong to No Bats but some years fit better into life than others. Steve Mayer joined early and has been to nearly every one. Mayer’s career is noteworthy for two things, one being that he is one of the very few who improved throughout the years, and the other being his habit of routinely shagging fly balls in left field with his glove on his left hand while his cell phone is against his ear with his right.
Each year I remind the guys, “The power of us is us. If we stick together, we’ll be okay.” Time has proven true that
days drag but years fly and as we age we will all take turns in the barrel. The number of hands reaching in to help pull a man out will equal the number of times he has reached in to help others. We have proved this countless times.
The No Bats Baseball Club has shared some remarkably joyous and tragic things. None of the guys takes for grant-
ed the power of loyal support in times of need. Each man knows that even the strong are broken in places, and none among us is allowed to walk a troubled road alone. Ours is a fraternity of healing and support and all of us share pride of being a true friend to every man who has contributed emotional equity to make it that way.
I have seen fathers and sons play ball together, and brothers and others mend fences. We deal with the physical and
emotional scars of aging, job loss, death, and divorce. Ours is a safe haven. Every man is embraced as an equal and pro61
tected as family, which are non-negotiable membership dues we pay and collect.
Nearly three decades after birthing the No Bats Baseball Club, three things I know for sure: 1. Baseball is a team game, played by individuals. In that regard it’s just like life. The game will let a man be a hero; and turn around to humble the best. The ball finds everyone, sometimes on successive pitches. 2. Each year the bases creep farther away. Home-to-first is nearly a half-mile. Legging out a triple takes twelve minutes with a favorable wind, fifteen without. 3. Nothing—and I mean nothing—does more for a man’s soul than a solid line-drive base hit smacked with a wooden bat. In these strobe-lit moments of life, every man stands immortal.
I could wrap this up by bragging that No Bats club records include three guys being hospitalized on one play (run-
ner, fielder, and third base coach), or that two guys—the batter and infielder—pulled hamstrings on the very first pitch of a tournament. I could reveal super-secret baseball trivia, that the final out in historic Wrigley Field was made by Virginia Beach investment analyst Chip Ford, who hit a five-hopper to second base at twilight the day before the bulldozers began Wrigley’s major renovation. But that stuff is bragging, and some things a man should keep to himself.
Instead I will close with a quote from Mark Costigan, a Chicago cabinetmaker. When asked during one of our
weekends by a curious spectator to explain No Bats action out on the field, Costigan shrugged and said, “Well, it looks like baseball from a helicopter.”
Warn the good folks in Cincinnati: The choppers are heading your way.
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Chapter TWELVE
THE LOBBY PROJECT This is a story of how a rough idea of paying tribute to certain individuals turned into a gallery to innovation, inspiration and excellence. These are the same themes that the stories throughout this book tried to convey.
When my firm moved to the 30th floor of the historic Russ Building in San Francisco, not only did we get more space for employees to spread out and for the firm to grow, but we also inherited a large lobby with original oak paneling. Walking through the space for the first time, I tried to come up with an idea of what kind of artwork we should hang in such a grand, historic space.
Most mornings I go for an early morning run, which not only keeps me in shape, but allows me some quiet time to
gather my thoughts and plan for the upcoming day. On one particular morning, thoughts of the lobby were swirling in my head. “What kind of artwork would go well with the lobby, fill the framed panels and, at the same time, inspire my staff each day?” Growing up, I had many heroes that inspired me, like Vince Lombardi, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy. As I got older, I was impressed by others such as Steve Jobs, the Beatles and Mohammad Ali. The light bulb went off and I started to think about hanging large black and white photos of people who made a difference.
Though it was a rough idea, the concept for the Lobby Project was born. We discussed it at a staff meeting and
received feedback about adding special quotes and their stories to accompany the photos. We voted on which people to include and made sure we left a few extra spaces to add people down the line. The Lobby Project began to take shape.
The idea was to take all of the innovative, inspirational and transformative people that changed the world and fill
the frames on our walls with their stories. From a range of industries, from sports heroes to political figures to just ordinary people who did extraordinary things, these people found a way to make a big change in the world—which I find inspiring and motivating to do the same in my own small ways.
Our walls are filled with people like Rosa Parks, Steve Jobs, Vince Lombardi, Amelia Earhart and Stephen Hawking. 65
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Upon walking off the elevators into the lobby, you can’t help but be inspired. Our clients, our staff and our visitors all have the same reaction, which was our goal.
The center piece of the Lobby Project is a simple quote from Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
On the following pages, we’ve featured some of these stories and hope that you find the same inspiration, innovation
and excellence we strive for every day.
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“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in a moment of comfort and convenience but where he stands in a time of challenge and controversy” Born on January 15, 1929, in Atlanta, Georgia, Martin
By 1960, Martin Luther King Jr. had gained notoriety
Luther King Jr. is remembered as one of the most influ-
on a national scale. On August 28, 1963, King and his
ential and inspirational civil-rights leaders in American
supporters conducted the historic march on Washington,
history. His efforts played a pivotal role in ending the legal
drawing more than 200,000 people to witness what would
segregation of African-American citizens in the U.S.
become his famous “I Have a Dream” speech, emphasiz-
ing the idea that all men were equal. The speech inspired
He was the son of a Baptist minister, Martin Luther
King Sr., who also fought against racial prejudice consid-
many and eventually led to the passage of the Civil Rights
ering it to be God’s will, which left a lasting impression
Act of 1964. King was also awarded the Nobel Peace Prize
on Martin Jr. Young Martin was a gifted student in high
that same year.
school and skipped both ninth and eleventh grade, enter-
ing Morehouse College in Atlanta at age 15, in 1944. In
and Martin Luther King Jr. continued participating in
1948, King graduated with a sociology degree and attend-
nonviolent resistance. His efforts ended abruptly on April
ed Crozer Theological Seminary. King later enrolled at
4th, 1968, when he was assassinated at the Lorraine Motel
Boston University for his doctoral study. It was there where
in Memphis, Tennessee. In the 13 years that he was active
King met his wife, Coretta Scott and completed his PhD in
as a civil rights leader, African-Americans made more
1955 at the age of 25.
progress towards racial equality in the U.S. than in the pre-
vious 350 years. His life and work continues to be honored,
That same year, King led the 382-day Montgomery
Bus Boycott following the Rosa Parks incident. During the boycott, King had been arrested, had his home bombed and was subject to abuse, but King continued to protest peacefully, inspired by both his Christian faith and the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi.
Racial tension remained high throughout the 1960s,
celebrated and remembered today.
70
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
Born in Ulm, Württemberg, Germany in 1879, Albert
Einstein was perhaps the most influential physicist of the
best known physics journals of the era, the Annalen
last century and was responsible for developing the theory
der Physik. In these papers, Einstein presented his most
of relativity. As a teenager, Einstein’s tutor, Max Talmud,
famous equation E=mc2, for the first time suggesting tiny
sparked young Albert’s interest in the nature of light which
particles of matter could be converted into large forms
led him to pen his first major paper “The Investigation of
of energy. Understanding the inadequacies of Newto-
the State of Aether in Magnetic Fields.”
nian mechanics, Einstein completed the general theory
of relativity in 1915. He earned a Nobel Prize for Physics
In the mid-1890s, Einstein’s father relocated the fam-
In 1905, Einstein had four papers published in the
ily to Milan, Italy. Albert however, remained in Munich to
in 1921. As Einstein traveled and spoke on his theories
complete his schooling, but soon dropped his classes and
internationally, he had become an assassination target of
rejoined his family to avoid being drafted into the military.
the Nazi’s who labeled his work “Jewish physics.” In 1933,
Albert completed high school in Aarau, Switzerland and
Einstein began a career at the Institute for Advanced
in 1896 enrolled at the Swiss Federal Polytechnic School
Study in Princeton, New Jersey. There he spent the rest
in Zurich to be trained as a teacher in physics and math.
of his life working on a unified field theory, attempting to
In 1901, Einstein earned his diploma and became a Swiss
unify the varied laws of physics.
citizen. After graduating Albert had difficulty finding a
teaching post, partially due to his low attendance rate in
aortic aneurysm but refused surgery, content with his life’s
classes, but accepted a position as a technical assistant in
work. Einstein died that next morning at the University
the Swiss Patent Office. While working at the patent office,
Medical Center in Princeton at the age of 76. His legacy
Einstein had the time to further some ideas he had during
continues on through his major accomplishments which
his studies.
remain stepping-stones for future scientific discoveries.
On April 17, 1955, Einstein suffered an abdominal
72
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Formed in Liverpool, England 1960, the Beatles forever
les’ first U.S. chart-toppers. More than 70 million people
changed the course of popular music and culture. They
watched their appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show on
are often regarded as the most influential band of all time.
February 9 and 16. In April, the Beatles held the top five
Their musical innovation was unmatched, each record
positions on Billboard singles chart. The Beatles became
they released was groundbreaking and new. Every rock
aggressively merchandised following their first movie, “A
and roll experiment can be traced back to their sound.
Hard Day’s Night,” in August 1964. In 1965 they had
toured the world, and set the record for the largest concert
Before becoming a global success, they played nearly
300 shows at the Cavern club in Liverpool. On Novem-
audience. The Beatles had become a global phenomenon,
ber 9, 1961 the group was spotted during one of their
and experienced tremendous success over the later course
performances by Brian Epstein, who would become their
of the decade.
manager two months later. The Beatles were rejected re-
cord deals by nearly every label in Europe until May 1962,
and personal differences. Despite their differences, they
when producer George Martin signed the group to EMI’s
came together to record Abbey Road in 1969, which
Parlophone subsidiary. In September 1962, the Beatles
became the Beatles’ best-selling album, at 9 million copies.
recorded, “Love Me Do” and “P.S. I Love You,” which
The Beatles broke up the following year, announced by
became their first U.K. Top 20 hit by October. Following
Paul McCartney on April 10, 1970. The public pleaded
their first European tour in October 1963, the Beatles and
for a Beatles reunion, but John Lennon was murdered by a
Epstein moved to London. “She Loves You” was released
mentally disturbed fan on December 8, 1980.
later that year, and became the biggest-selling single in
British history. In January 1964, EMI’s American Label,
and Roll Hall of Fame. In 2000, the Beatles became the
Capitol released Meet the Beatles (identical to the Beatles’
highest certified act of all time. Their music has since sold
second British album, With the Beatles). The album and
over a billion copies, and has left a monumental impact on
single “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” became the Beat-
culture.
The band began to disintegrate in 1968 due to artistic
In 1988, the Beatles were inducted into the Rock
74
“ … you can not fail, if you resolutely determine, that you will not.”
Abraham Lincoln is regarded as one of America’s great-
est heroes. He abolished slavery and preserved the Union
required his persistent nature. Prior to his inauguration,
through the U.S. Civil War. However, Lincoln faced many
seven southern states declared secession from the Union,
setbacks and obstacles throughout his life; his perseverance
an event that would force Lincoln to bring the country to
is what set him apart. Lincoln was born into poverty in
civil war. Although he was tragically assassinated in 1865,
a log cabin in Kentucky in 1809. In 1816 his family was
Lincoln’s ability to navigate the war, end slavery, and unify
forced out of their home. Two years later his mother
the country in it’s most divided moment, would leave a
passed away when he was only nine years old.
legacy of greatness celebrated and cherished to this day.
As an adult, Lincoln had two failed businesses, the sec-
ond of which would put him in debt for 17 years. Lincoln also was known to suffer from depression and experienced two nervous breakdowns in 1836 and 1841. His career in politics was equally decorated with failures, losing a total of eight elections in various political races before becoming president in 1860.
Even as president of the United States, Lincoln
76
“However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at”
The renowned physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawk-
By the mid-1970s, Hawking’s physical state was increasing-
ing, was born on the 300th anniversary of the death
ly deteriorating. Despite his debilitations, in 1974, Hawk-
of Galileo, January 8, 1942. Persistent in his pursuit of
ing famously discovered that matter in the form of radia-
knowledge, Hawking has dedicated his life to studying the
tion could escape from black holes, debunking scientists’
universe and how it works. Even at a young age, Hawking
previous notion that black holes were a vacuum.
would stare at the stars with wonder and curiosity. This cu-
riosity would lead him to study physics at Oxford Universi-
able to speak through a speech synthesizer controlled by
ty at the age of 17, and later cosmology at Cambridge.
sensors reading his cheek muscles. With the help of the
synthesizer, and various assistants, Stephen Hawking has
While studying at Oxford, Stephen began to notice
In 1985, Hawking completely lost his voice but was
issues with his physical health when he would occasionally
continued writing numerous books, scientific papers and
trip or slur his speech. For the most part, he ignored these
information for the non-scientific community. In 2018,
symptoms until 1963, his first year at Cambridge, when
at the age of 76, he passed away, having long surpassed
he was diagnosed with ALS and doctors gave him two
his life expectancy by more than 50 years, and leaving an
and a half years to live. The same year, Stephen met his
incredible impact on the science community.
wife, Jane Wilde, whom he would marry in 1965. Prior to his diagnosis, Hawking recalls having felt bored with life. School had been too easy for Hawking, and with very minimal effort he was awarded a first class honors degree in Natural Science after only 3 years at Oxford. Having the sudden realization that he might not live long enough to earn his PhD, Hawking found a new passion in his work and research.
78
“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”
Born in 1942 as Cassius Clay, boxing’s heavyweight cham-
Ali remained a prominent public figure due to his various
pion and philanthropist Muhammad Ali is widely regard-
philanthropic works across the world, and in 1998 was
ed as one of the most prolific athletes of the 20th century.
chosen as a Messenger of Peace by the United Nations.
Raised in Louisville, Kentucky, Ali began his training as an
amateur boxer at the age of 12. Six years later he compet-
a model of world citizenry and inspiration of greatness.
ed in the light heavyweight division at the 1960 Summer Olympics, taking home the gold medal. In 1964 he would knock out Sonny Liston and become the heavyweight champion of the world. With no shortage of self confidence, Ali often referring to himself as “The Greatest,” and always strived to live up to that title. Aside from the fame of his agility in the ring, Ali quickly became known for his bold public persona. He was outspoken about his views on the Vietnam War, and refused to fight despite being drafted. After battling the legal repercussions of his decisions, Ali returned to the ring in 1970. He experienced his first professional loss after 31 wins. In 1974, Ali fought the undefeated heavyweight champion, George Foreman, in the famous “Rumble in the Jungle.” Being seen as the underdog, his victory over Foreman silenced his critics.
Ali retired from his boxing career in 1981. In 1984,
he announced that he suffered from Parkinson’s disease.
Ali passed away at the age of 74 in 2016, and remains
80
“I believe we are here on the planet Earth to live, grow up and do what we can to make this world a better place for all people to enjoy freedom.”
Born Rosa Louise McCauley on February 4, 1913, in Tus-
Parks grew tired of giving up her seat and on December 1,
kegee, Alabama, her refusal to give up her seat on a public
1955, after a long day’s work, she refused to, and her brave
bus to a white passenger sparked the most successful mass
stance ended in arrest.
movements against racial segregation in history.
chapter of the NAACP began organizing a boycott of
Parks grew up with her grandparents, both former
On the night that Rosa Parks was arrested, the local
slaves. She attended a segregated school, and was forced to
Montgomery’s city buses and asked members of the
walk to school while white children were provided with a
African-American community to not use the city buses
bus. She left school in the 11th grade, and got a job work-
on December 5, 1955, the day of Rosa’s trial. Her trial
ing at a shirt factory in Montgomery. In 1932, at age 19,
found her guilty, and she was fined, but the Montgomery
Rosa met her husband Raymond Parks, who was an active
Bus Boycott continued for a total of 381 days. In 1956,
member of the National Association for the Advancement
racial segregation laws were declared unconstitutional by
of Colored People. In 1943, she joined the Montgomery
the Supreme Court. In combination with the efforts of the
chapter of the NAACP and served as the chapter’s youth
boycott, the city of Montgomery was forced to lift enforce-
leader and secretary to NAACP President E.D. Nixon.
ment of segregation on public buses. Rosa Parks went
During this time, buses in Montgomery were required to
on to receive many accolades during her lifetime, and is
have assigned seating, separating white and black passen-
remembered as a hero for equality.
gers, designating the front for white passengers and the back for African-Americans. As the bus would fill, the bus drivers would move back the sign and force black passengers to give up their seats to passengers who were white.
82
“Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”
Steve Jobs, the revolutionary co-founder of tech giant, Ap-
1985. Jobs eventually returned as Apple’s CEO and began
ple, was born in San Francisco, California on February 24,
the famous “Think different” campaign in 1997, a slogan
1955. As an infant, he was adopted by Clara and Paul Jobs
that Steve embodied through his innovative ideas and for-
and raised in Mountain View, California. As a boy, Steve
ward thinking. Steve aimed to create products that would
and his father would reconstruct electronics in the family
change the world. In his return to Apple, Jobs developed
garage, a hobby that would foreshadow the founding of
a series of culturally impactful products, all of which have
his iconic computer company alongside Steve Wozniak,
dictated the evolution of modern technology.
who Jobs met while enrolled in high school. After high
school, Jobs attended Reed College in Portland, Oregon
from a relapse of his previously treated pancreatic cancer,
for six months before dropping out. He then would spend
resulting in respiratory arrest. His tremendous legacy con-
the next 18 months crashing creative classes, including a
tinues to have a major influence on society’s relationship
calligraphy course that inspired his love for typography.
with and approach to technology.
In 1976, at the age of 21, Jobs reconnected with
Wozniak and started Apple Computer in the Jobs family garage. The duo is credited for revolutionizing the computer industry by creating smaller, cheaper, and more intuitive computers that were more accessible to everyday consumers. Apple’s first two products were met with tremendous success, but a few flawed products later, Jobs found himself being phased out of his own company in
In 2011, Steve Jobs passed away due to complications
“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.”
Born in Cairo, Georgia on January 31, 1919, Jackie
ident, Branch Rickey, to join the Brooklyn Dodgers. He
Robinson overcame racial prejudices and became the first
first played for the all-white Montreal Royals, a farm team
African-American athlete to play Major League Baseball
for the Dodgers. Despite enduring racial abuse, Robinson
in the 20th century. Jackie was the youngest of five chil-
found great success on the field and was shortly promoted
dren, and raised by a single mother in Pasadena. In high
to the Dodgers’ roster. On April 15, 1947, Jackie made
school, Jackie proved to be a tremendous athlete in foot-
his debut for the Dodgers at Ebbets Field, pioneering the
ball, basketball, track and baseball. He was named the re-
integration of professional athletes in America and coura-
gion’s MVP in baseball in 1938. When Robinson attended
geously challenging racial segregation. In his first season in
UCLA, he became the university’s first student to achieve
MLB, Jackie Robinson batted 12 home runs and assisted
varsity letters in four sports. Due to financial circumstanc-
the Dodgers with winning the National League pennant,
es, Jackie was forced to leave college just short of gradua-
and was awarded Rookie of the Year. Jackie set a league
tion. He eventually enlisted in the U.S. Army. Within two
record, stealing home 19 times in his career.
years he had been promoted to a rank of second lieu-
tenant. However, after refusing to give up his seat on a seg-
and diabetes complications. His defiance of racial inequal-
regated bus, Robinson was arrested and court-martialed.
ity, and incredible talent in baseball marks Jackie’s life and
His charges were eventually acquitted and Robinson
legacy as one of the most important in American sports
received an honorable discharge. In 1945, Jackie took up
history.
professional baseball. At the time, the sport was segregated so Robinson played for a team in the Negro Leagues. After one season he was approached by Brooklyn Dodgers pres-
He died on October 24, 1972 due to heart problems
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
Eleanor Roosevelt, born in New York City on October 11,
Cross during World War I, and became involved with
1884, was an outspoken leader and activist in numerous
activist organizations including the Women’s Union Trade
humanitarian causes. She was the niece of President The-
League and the League of Women Voters. In 1921, her
odore Roosevelt, and wife of President Franklin D. Roos-
husband was diagnosed with polio, leaving him paralyzed
evelt. Eleanor tragically lost both of her parents at a young
from the waist down. During this time, Eleanor stepped
age, and along with her younger brothers, lived with their
forward to help Franklin with his political career.
grandmother in Manhattan. As a child, Eleanor was shy
and awkward. She attended an all girls school in England.
transformed the perception of the first lady and proved
There, Marie Souvestre, the headmistress of the academy,
to the world that she was an important part of Amer-
promoted social responsibility and independence for wom-
ican politics. She delivered press conferences and was
en, which would further shape Eleanor’s perspective and
a champion of human rights. She focused on the poor,
values. At the age of 18, Eleanor returned to New York
stood against racial discrimination, and visited U.S. troops
City and became actively involved with social reform work.
abroad during World War II. After Franklin’s death in
She served as a volunteer teacher for impoverished immi-
1945, Eleanor was appointed by President Harry Truman
grant children at Manhattan’s Rivington Street Settlement
as a delegate to the United Nations where she helped with
House and joined the National Consumer’s League, which
the drafting and passing of the Universal Human Decla-
strived to end unsafe working conditions and labor practic-
ration of Rights, which she considered to be her greatest
es. In 1905, Eleanor married her distant cousin and future
achievement. Eleanor died in 1962 at the age of 78, and is
president, Franklin D. Roosevelt. Together they had six
remembered as a true American hero.
children, one of which passed away as an infant. Despite raising a large family, Eleanor volunteered with the Red
When Franklin became president in 1933, Eleanor
AMELIA EARHART
“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.”
Born in 1897, the famous Amelia Mary Earhartwas the
first female to pilot a solo flight across the Atlantic Ocean.
flight, Earhart announced she would attempt the same.
Growing up, her father’s incompetence in supporting the
Not quite making it to Paris, Earhart landed in Northern
family led Earhart to be driven to take care of herself. In
Ireland and was warmly greeted by local residents. She
1920, Earhart attended an air show in Long Beach where
became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic and
she took a plane ride and discovered a burning desire to
quickly was respected as an international icon. Earhart
fly. In 1921, Earhart purchased her first plane, and on
used her fame and celebrity status to dismantle negative
October 22, 1922 she broke the world altitude record for
stereotypes about women. In 1937, Earhart disappeared
female pilots, flying at a height of 14,000 feet. Less than a
over the Pacific Ocean during an attempt to circumnavi-
year later, on May 15, 1923, she became the 16th woman
gate the world by it’s equator. Today, she is remembered
to be issued a pilot’s license. Earhart’s family struggled
and celebrated for her incredible accomplishments in both
financially and lived primarily on an inheritance from her
her aviation career and in equality for women.
grandmother’s estate. The family ran out of funds in 1924 and Earhart was forced to sell her plane. After a brief hiatus, Earhart returned to aviation in 1927, the same year that Charles Lindbergh would take the first solo flight from New York to Paris. In 1928 Earhart accompanied Wilmer Shultz as a passenger on a flight to the UK and became the first woman aboard a transatlantic flight. It was considered too dangerous at the time for a woman to make the flight alone.
On the fifth anniversary of Lindbergh’s legendary
“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” Born in 1932, the iconic singer-songwriter, Johnny Cash,
hosting a TV series, “The Johnny Cash Show,” which
influenced and earned respect among artists and music
focused on showcasing contemporary musicians from Bob
fans worldwide due to his numerous hit records, memora-
Dylan to Louis Armstrong. He also used this platform to
ble performances, and compelling persona. His innovative
tackle social issues ranging from the Vietnam war to prison
sound was a blend of gospel, blues, rock and country. Cash
reform and the rights of Native Americans.
lived a complex life, which helped craft the layers and
shapes of his music. When he was 12 years old, his older
elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame. Despite deal-
brother died in a horrific accident which left a profound
ing with various health issues and complications, including
impact on the young Johnny Cash. It was around this
a double-bypass heart surgery, Cash continued to push
time that Cash became more introspective and spent time
forward with music and was inaugurated into the Rock
writing songs as an escape. In 1958, with his music career
and Roll Hall of Fame in 1992. Cash’s health became an
fully established, Cash fell victim to a nine-year period of
increasingly bigger issue through the late 1990s, but he
drug and alcohol abuse. In 1965, Cash was arrested for
continued making music and earning awards until a week
attempting to smuggle amphetamines concealed in his gui-
before his death, on September 12, 2003, a true testament
tar case across the Mexican border. That same year, after
to his exceptional dedication and excellence.
a serious auto accident and a near fatal overdose, his first wife divorced him. His life began a remarkable turnaround in 1967 thanks to a relationship with songwriter, June Carter, who helped him overcome his addiction and return to his Christian faith and values. The two married in 1968 and had several hit duets together. In 1969, Cash began
In 1980, he became the youngest living artist to be
“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” - NEIL ARMSTRONG
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” - JOHN F. KENNEDY On January 20, 1961, during the height of the Cold
President Kennedy delivered the same message through
War, John F. Kennedy entered the oval office as the 35th
what became one of his most memorable and famous
president of the United States of America. His legendary
speeches at Rice University, Houston, Texas. He pro-
inaugural address sought to inspire Americans to be active
claimed the importance of putting a man on the moon,
citizens in bringing the U.S. to be the world’s greatest
and declared that the nation would be the first to achieve it
country. The era of the Cold War had produced a high
within the decade.
level of competition between the U.S. and the USSR,
fueled by an arms race, a growing threat of nuclear weap-
On July 20, 1969, NASA’s Apollo 11 successfully landed
ons, wide-range espionage, and a clash of ideologies and
with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, becoming the first
values. One of the many ways this competitiveness played
two humans to touch lunar soil. The event was broadcast
out was through the infamous Space Race, a race in scien-
on televisions worldwide, as Armstrong took the first steps
tific advancement and exploration of a new frontier. At the
out of the spacecraft, famously saying, “That’s one small
time of Kennedy’s inauguration, many Americans believed
step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” The astronauts
that the United States was losing this Space Race to the
spent a total of 21.5 hours on the surface of the moon,
Soviet Union, which had already beaten us to launching
returning to earth on July 24. The incredible success of the
the first artificial satellite Sputnik, four years prior. In April
Apollo 11 mission was a fulfillment of Kennedy’s national
1961, the Russian cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the
goal, making the U.S. the global leader of space travel and
first man in space, prompting Kennedy to stand before
ending the Space Race with the USSR. This astounding
congress one month later and propose the nation commit
accomplishment is regarded as one of the greatest achieve-
to landing a man on the moon. On September 12, 1962,
ment in human history.
Seven years later, Kennedy’s dream became a reality.
94
“If you can dream it, you can do it.”
Walter Elias “Walt” Disney was born on December 5, 1901,
in Hermosa, Illinois. Walt Disney was one of five chil-
Studios was opened in Burbank. Disney’s $17 million Dis-
dren, four boys and a girl. His father was Elias Disney, an
neyland theme park opened on July 17, 1955, in Anaheim,
Irish-Canadian, and his mother, Flora Call Disney, was Ger-
California, with actor (and future U.S. president) Ronald
man-American. Disney attended McKinley High School in
Reagan presiding over the activities on what was once an
Chicago, where he took drawing and photography classes
orange grove.
and was a contributing cartoonist for the school paper.
of Tomorrow (EPCOT) in Florida was still under con-
In 1919, Disney moved to Kansas City to pursue a
In December 1939, a new campus for Walt Disney
In 1966, while Experimental Prototype Community
career as a newspaper artist. His brother Roy got him a
struction, Disney was diagnosed with lung cancer. He
job at the Pesmen-Rubin Art Studio, where he met car-
died on December 15, 1966, at the age of 65. Disney was
toonist Ubbe Eert Iwwerks, better known as Ub Iwerks.
cremated, and his ashes interred at Forest Lawn Ceme-
By the mid-1920’s, Disney and his brother Roy pooled
tery in Los Angeles, California. After his brother’s death,
their money and moved to Hollywood. Iwerks also relo-
Roy carried on the plans to finish the Florida theme park,
cated to California, and there the three began the Disney
which opened in 1971 under the name Walt Disney World.
Brothers’ Studio. The first animated shorts featuring Mickey were Plane Crazy and The Gallopin’ Gaucho, both silent films for which they failed to find distribution. When sound made its way into film, Disney created a third, sound-and-music-equipped short called Steamboat Willie. With Walt as the voice of Mickey, the cartoon was an instant sensation. 95
96
“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”
Born Diana Spencer on July 1, 1961, Princess Diana
ana and Prince Charles did not lead to a happily-ever-after
became Lady Diana Spencer after her father inherited the
marriage. The divorce was finalized in 1996. Even after
title of Earl Spencer in 1975. Following her initial educa-
the divorce, Diana maintained a high level of popularity.
tion at home, Diana attended Riddlesworth Hall School
She devoted herself to her sons and to such charitable
and then West Heath School. She was no stranger to the
efforts as raising awareness about the dangers of leftover
royal family, having reportedly played with Prince Andrew
land mines in war-torn Angola.
and Prince Edward as a child. In 1977, she became reac-
quainted with their older brother, Prince Charles, who was
Fayed, were involved in a car crash after trying to escape
13 years her senior.
from the paparazzi early in the morning of August 31,
1997. Fayed and the driver were pronounced dead at the
She married the heir to the British throne, Prince
While visiting Paris, Diana and her boyfriend, Dodi
Charles, on July 29, 1981. On June 21, 1982, Diana and
scene; Diana initially survived the crash, but succumbed to
Charles had their first child: Prince William Arthur Philip
her injuries at a Paris hospital a few hours later.
Louis. He was joined by a brother, Prince Henry Charles
Albert David—known widely as “Prince Harry”—more
who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never
than two years later, on September 15, 1984. Initially
met her, but felt they knew her, will remember her. I, for one, believe
overwhelmed by her royal duties and the intense media
there are lessons to be drawn from her life and from the extraordinary
coverage, she began to develop and pursue her own inter-
and moving reaction to her death. I share in your determination to
ests. Diana served as a strong supporter of many charities
cherish her memory.”
and worked to help the homeless, people living with HIV and AIDS and children in need.
Unfortunately, the fairy tale wedding of Princess Di97
Of Diana’s death, Queen Elizabeth II said: “No one
FINAL CHAPTER
DESIDERATA This is the final chapter. I wanted to share one of the best things I ever read with regards to giving and getting advise and having a moral compass to guide you throughout your life.
Over the years I have watched my three kids grow up, coached five sports, led several companies and participated in leadership positions at a variety of nonprofits. I have been married for over 25 years. I have been blessed with many successes and have also failed many times. I have seen some of the most amazing things and have witnessed some terrible tragedies as well. During these times, I have always tried to inspire people to do their best, to win gracefully, to accept defeat, to do the right thing, to help others and to never give up no matter what happens. Over the years there have been a lot of pep talks, a lot of advice and many motivational speeches.
Many years ago, when I first read Desiderata, I quickly realized that it had more practical advice than anything else
I had ever read. It is short, only 314 words; it has stood with the test of time, as it was written almost 100 years ago; and it applies to everyone whether you are rich or poor, young or old, highly successful or struggling to meet life’s challenge.
Several years ago at a meeting of about 100 business leaders, we were asked to reflect on several questions about our
careers and the nature of success. One of the questions was, “If you could go back to the first day of your first professional job, what advice would you give yourself ?”
I listened to people as they gave their answers, such as listen more, read more, don’t do this, do more of that and so
on and so on. I really didn’t hear anything unique or special and certainly nothing that I would think would make a huge difference. It was finally my turn and without hesitation, I said I would, “Read ‘Desiderata’ by Max Ehrmann every day, and send it to folks you care about and tell them to read it often.” Dead silence in the room and the discussion leader asked me to send it to him and he would email it to everyone. Within two minutes every person in the room had a copy and were reading it. After the session ended, numerous people came up to me and thanked me for sharing. Very power99
ful moment to say the least.
Over the years, I’ve shared “Desiderata” with family, close friends, and colleagues. Business, technology and lan-
guage may have changed dramatically since 1927, but the central message of “Desiderata” remains true today. I would like to end this book by sharing “Desiderata” with you. I hope you enjoy it and share it with others.
“Desiderata”, by Max Ehrmann Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
100
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
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Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
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About the Author:
Stephen D. Mayer Stephen D. Mayer was born in San Francisco in 1954, where he attended Riordan High School and then U.C. Berkeley. He is a CPA by trade, however, his entrepreneurial nature has lead him to be involved in starting over 18 different businesses. He lives in San Mateo with his wife, Patty, of over 25 years and has three children—Dylan, and twins, Kenzie and Nicola. He is a man of many traditions, including over 40 consecutive years of backpacking with his group of friends. For fun, when he turned 60, he completed an Ironman “because it seemed like a worthy goal”. Steve also enjoys writing, especially when his experiences can help someone else. This book is meant to take some simple concepts and relate them to life experiences in short stories.
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The Toughest Guy I Ever Knew And Other Short Stories A collection of thought-provoking stories on life, philosophy and humor sprinkled with bits of advice on business and life. Steve Mayer has been a practicing accountant and entrepreneur for over 40 years, having started over 18 businesses, including one of the largest accounting and consulting firms in the San Francisco Bay Area.
