REVEREND Ask

De Rev end,

I really hate using condoms, but the woman I’m dating insists that I do. She also doesn’t want to go on birth control. How can I make her understand that sex isn’t as good for me when I wear one?

Wild Willie

(MAN, 24)

I saw you over cocktails a few months back in Winooski in a black beanie. I am more curious if this is the first iSpy you have seen for you. Hope you have booked the flight to Italy and have a copilot ready for the ride. Hope this made you smile. When: Wednesday, December 14, 2022. Where: celebrating the holiday.

You: Man. Me: Woman. #915714

OGE/WALGREENS MEET-CUTE

We were leaving OGE at the same time, skis in tow. It was raining — we both groaned and smiled. A minute later, we saw each other again in the Walgreen’s lot, which we agreed is the best place to park for a quick run into OGE. Want to go skiing and show me the best runs? When: Tuesday, February 7, 2023. Where: OGE/Walgreen’s lot. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915712

RE: MISSING MY TWINFLAME

I needed time and space to become the best version of myself and to attend to matters I could never explain. Where I went, you could not follow. I tried to tell you tête-à-tête, but it wasn’t in the cards. I still keep that Jack close, and I keep warm with the thought of being in your arms. Soon. When: Wednesday, April 29, 2020. Where: the astral plane.

You: Woman. Me: Man. #915711

VTHOMESTEADER ank you for the iSpy! I’m still interested in checking out the paradise you have created in Hardwick, and I would like it if we can finish our novel we have started. If all goes well, perhaps I can be your Papa Ganoush! When: Tuesday, February 7, 2023. Where: un-Hinge.

You: Woman. Me: Man. #915710

BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES

Dear woman, I miss you. ough you are just three houses down the street, it seems you are 1,000 miles away. I miss you and would love to move beyond the past to a brighter future with you. Always! When: 2014 to present. When: Monday, January 30, 2023. Where: central Vermont.

You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915706

De Wild Willie,

Dude. What year is it where you live, 1973? If the person you’re having sex with wants you to wear a condom, then that’s what you do. No glove, no love.

If sex doesn’t feel as good to you when you’re wearing a condom, you’re most likely using the wrong kind. Condom technology is far more advanced than it used to be, resulting in all sorts of sizes and styles. ere’s tons of information available online about how to find the one that’s right for you. Check out condom-sizes.org, condomjungle.com or good ol’ trojanbrands.com.

Condoms don’t require a visit to a doctor or a prescription, and they aren’t all that expensive. ey don’t have any of the side effects of many female birth

You were drawing, super focused. IDK if you even noticed me, but I love how seriously you take your craft, and you’re sooooo cute! You: blue hair and septum piercing. Me: 30-y/o woman, overalls, backward cap. Sometime in the beginning of January on a Tuesday night. Come back to class! I go most weeks. We could draw each other. When: Tuesday, January 3, 2023. Where: Karma Bird House.

You: Man. Me: Woman. #915709

UNTAPPED, TOO NERVOUS TO SPEAK

Hi! I was too shy surrounded by my friends at Friday’s Untapped show to strike up a conversation. You kept checking people into the show, and my friends hung out at the bar. But you seemed like a lovely person and also someone who may possibly enjoy grabbing a beverage and conversation sometime? When: Saturday, February 11, 2023. Where: Winooski circle. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915708

REDHEADED WONDER, TAKE TWO

I saw you having lunch with two other women. I think I also saw you at Shanty on the Shore a few weeks earlier. If you are the same woman from the airport a few months ago with the white Mercedes, maybe we could have lunch together sometime. You name the place, and I’ll be there. When: Wednesday, February 8, 2023. Where: Grazers.

You: Woman. Me: Man. #915707

MUDDY WATERS SMILE

I saw you when I walked in around 4:30. You were sitting by the window in a multicolored crocheted hat. I had my hair in two pigtails, and you smiled at me on your way to the bathroom. You look really thoughtful and introspective.

I’d love to get to know you more. When: Friday, February 3, 2023. Where: Muddy Waters. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915705

CROSS-COUNTRY SKIER IN HUBBARD PARK

We crossed paths while skiing and chatted for a bit while I was waiting for my friend to catch up to me. I enjoyed talking with you! Care to meet up for a ski together? When: Friday, January 27, 2023. Where: Hubbard Park. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915701

We spoke briefly as you and your friend were about to leave. I asked you about talking in a place more conducive to conversation. Here’s another invite to talk. Interested? I could try and catch up with you again at Old Post but would rather see you elsewhere — dinner or drinks? I know your name; it starts with an M. When: Monday, January 30, 2023. Where: the Old Post. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915704

BRIGHT-EYED, ENERGETIC SUNFLOWER

You give me the goosebumps. Your eyes are light like water, but your mind is strong and driven — like a freight train. I can’t see myself anywhere else but with you. Why don’t we share some red grenadine? Down by the black, muddy river, perhaps. I hope you see me here, and I hope you see me today. When: Saturday, January 28, 2023. Where: close by, but I’d love to say “in my arms.” You: Woman. Me: Man. #915702

DENNY’S BEAUTY

You were our server this morning and told me to eat a pancake bite for you. When I offered you one, you said you couldn’t because you’re watching your figure. You don’t need to. I tipped you personally before I left. Would love to hear from you!

When: Wednesday, January 25, 2023. Where: Denny’s, South Burlington. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915700

TRADER JOE’S CASHIER QUEER

You: working at Trader Joe’s, shaggy haircut with brown, blond and purple. Me: buying almond butter, pink hair, wearing post-dance class sweats. You rang up my groceries and asked about my pink dye. I tried to play it cool, but when you said I had a nice laugh, I couldn’t meet your eye. Let’s bleach each other’s hair sometime? When: Tuesday, January 24, 2023. Where: Trader Joe’s. You: Genderqueer. Me: Woman. #915698

BELLA’S BARTOK AT ZENBARN

You wore a jean jacket. I wore a derby and the eye. We chatted after the show around the fire, and on our way to leave you told me your name. I regret not giving you my phone number. I’d love to reconnect sometime.

When: ursday, December 29, 2022. Where: Zenbarn, Waterbury. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915697 for control methods — such as headaches, nausea, weight fluctuations, depression and mood swings. I can’t blame your girlfriend for not being excited about her birth control options, which are all much more complicated than slipping on a condom when it’s go time. Not to mention dealing with the consequences if the best-laid plans fail.

Condoms are also very effective at preventing pregnancy with the added benefit of protecting against sexually transmitted diseases. As a person with a penis, instead of complaining, you should really be thanking your lucky stars that you got the easier end of the birth control stick. And remember: Sex with a condom feels better than no sex at all.

Good luck and God bless, The

Male mountain lion hunting for female mountain lioness to den up with. Wild but house-trained. Experienced. Does not bite hard. Likes to dig dirt. Will lick plate clean. Cat’s eyes. Scratch out a note and come over to see the home territory. #L1650

I’m a 75-y/o male seeking a female, 50-plus, to come and live with me to do housework and cooking. Help to take care of my two dogs and go for walks together. I have a nice house to share. #L1649

I’m a GWM seeking others for NSA fun. Looking for tops. I’m fun and adventurous. 40 to 60ish is preferred. Call or text. #L1643

You are a kind, clever, worldly woman who’s always down for a harebrained adventure or a night in streaming something you’ve seen twice before. I am an idiot, seeking another to be an idiot with. Be willing to commute. #L1648

54-y/o full-figured woman who wants love. I am pretty, confident and ready to be loved! In search of a male, 49 to 60, who will treat me well. Should like to travel, camp and make love in all places. Please write me! #L1647

I’m a 74-y/o male looking for a female to wine and dine. I have money and compassion. #L1641

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You are a man in his 60s who’s tired of online dating but still believes there is someone out there who will strike a chord deep within you. Someone expansive, alluring, interesting, reverent and irreverent. Reach out and find me. #L1646

58-y/o male seeking a fullfigured woman. You can be yourself and not worry. I love the company of full-figured women. I’m the guy who loves bigger women. Let’s see what happens. Write to me with a phone or text number. #L1645

I’m a 71-y/o W male seeking a very mature woman in her 70s or 80s desiring a sensual relationship with a passionate man. Maturity is your beauty and allure. Please give me a try, and maybe sparks will fly. Phone number, please. #L1644

We are three guys: two gay and one bi; one in his 40s and two in their 60s. We get together about once a week at my place in Burlington for men-to-men fun. Looking for another male to join us. If interested, leave a contact number. #L1642

I’m a male, 60s, bi, seeking another male. Any race, any age. I’m fit, clean, disease/ drug-free. Fun guy, open to everything, but mostly a bottom. Reply with phone and time to call. #L1639