A PERSONAL STORY
A PERSONAL STORY
VICAR FOUND GULTY OF ‘SPIRITUAL ABUSE’
WHAT DOES BEING ‘SPIRITUAL’ MEAN TO YOU?
A DISCIPLINARY tribunal has found the Rev Timothy Davis, vicar of Christ Church, Abingdon, Oxfordshire, guilty of spiritual abuse after he tried to stop a teenage boy from seeing his girlfriend.
SANDY PHILLIPS reflects on labels that are not always appropriate MANY people describe themselves as “spiritual” these days, but what does that really mean?
She told me I was doing the work of the Devil
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PSYCHIC NEWS | FEBRUARY 2018
Through the years, I have met many religious folk of all varieties and found that some were far from spiritual, with no empathy even for their own relations. Some are even racist, mean or cruel – yet still believe themselves to be good, upright and decent – and therefore “spiritual”. On the other hand, a person may be very spiritual – kind, thoughtful and working to improve others’ lives with no thought for themselves – yet they have no particular belief in any dogma at all. A lot of our behaviour and how we interact with others stems from childhood, of course. If someone had parents who were violent, uncaring and only put themselves first, then it is very hard for their children to be otherwise, as this was their role model. But other children do try to be different to what was meted out to them when they emerge later, rather like butterflies from their cocoons, and make good progress. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. My mother once had two nuns knock at her door on some noble quest. Being always gentle and friendly, she asked them in and offered some tea, which they accepted. They spoke to her about the word of God in the Bible. However, when she told them she was a Spiritualist they arose hurriedly, crossed themselves and departed! In their minds, she was someone with whom they should not be associated. I
bet it was the first cup of tea they had been offered that day but they could not acknowledge my mother’s openness or kindness at all. Later in my own life I too had a woman with “certain beliefs” come to the door with her little grandson. I invited her in and offered her a cup of tea and a soft drink for the boy. She also spoke about the Bible and what it could do for me. But when I said that I had spiritual beliefs, she told me I was doing “the work of the Devil” and quickly departed. Within a couple of weeks she returned with a Bible and opened it to a section which stated that I was practising the Devil’s work! Now, I do read the Bible occasionally and have come across this in I Corinthians 14: “Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. For … everyone who prophesises speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort….” Paul believed that an ability to foretell the future, for example, gives support and comfort and, in fact, there are several similar passages in the Bible about spiritual gifts. Underlying them all is the importance of using these gifts in conjunction with others and with love. So were those “religious” people necessarily loving and spiritual? Should we not all embrace and try to understand others of different faiths and
beliefs (or none)? Members of my family, who were very church-minded people, did not offer love or understanding to my mother and me. I was born without an acknowledged father, a matter my mother didn’t want to discuss. She was looked on as a ‘fallen woman’, the black sheep of the family, by my stepgrandmother and my mother’s sister, who were regular members of a church and also lived on church premises and looked after the church. I stayed there once with my cousins; we were not allowed to play with any toys or games on a Sunday and if we read a book it had to be one with religious text. We went to church Sunday morning, to Sunday school in the afternoon and to evening service. Now, at one time my mother and I had nowhere to live, literally. We had stayed in a hotel one night but the next night my mother hadn’t much money left so she went to her sister and told her the problems we faced. Not only did her sister show her out but also she didn’t even offer her a cup of tea or ask if she had enough money. Mum said she would have appreciated it if she had offered to take me in for a while until she found somewhere for us. That night, in some run-down place, I cried because I didn’t like having no home to go to. It must have broken Mum’s heart. In fact, a friend later took us in despite the fact that she lived in a council flat with her three children and wasn’t supposed to let others live there. My mother forgave her
sister, something I found extremely hard to do for a long while. So, who was the more “spiritual”, our family or my mother’s friend? And do we not all have a simple human duty to try to be kind, caring and helpful in all our relationships, whether they be with our relatives, our colleagues or even strangers? n Sandy Phillips is the author of The Narrow Doorway, an account of her extraordinary spiritual life, published by Local Legend (local-legend.co.uk)
He is the first to be found guilty of this offence, though recent research indicates that more than 1,000 British Christians have experienced similar behaviour. The tribunal found that the Rev Davis “sought to control” the boy’s life and relationships “by use of admonition, Scripture, prayer and revealed prophecy”. It also reported that nightly one-to-one mentoring sessions, lasting up to two hours, took place unsupervised in the boy’s bedroom. Reporting on the case in the Telegraph, religious affairs correspondent Olivia Rudgard said the clergyman moved in with the boy’s family and became angry when the teenager did not come to his services because he was with his girlfriend. “He called her ‘evil’ and her family ‘bad seed’ and ‘poisonous’, quoting Matthew’s Gospel to support his claims.” His mother said she did not try to end the relationship as “she was scared of going against God”. The tribunal preferred the evidence of the boy and his mother, declaring the Rev Davis to be an “unreliable” witness and finding him guilty of “abuse of spiritual power and authority”. A penalty will be decided shortly. The most serious punishment would be removal from office and being barred from working as a vicar again. In a separate report for the newspaper, Rudgard revealed that two thirds – more than 1,000 – of respondents to a survey, carried out by Dr Lisa Oakley of the National Centre for Post Qualifying Social Work at Bournemouth University, said they had experienced spiritual abuse in the past. They included members of Anglican, Baptist, Pentecostal and independent churches. n PSYCHIC NEWS | FEBRUARY 2018
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