EXPRESSIONS OF RESISTANCE, RESILIENCE, AND REIMAGINATION
Written by the 2018-2019 9th grade Ethnic Studies students at Roosevelt High School
This book was written by the 2018-2019 9th grade classes of Ethnic Studies at Roosevelt High School and printed in March 2020.
The views expressed in this book are the authors’ and do not necessarily reflect those of 826LA.
We support student publishing and are thrilled you picked up this book.
Las opiniones expresadas en este libro son las de los autores y no reflejan necesariamente las de 826LA.
Apoyamos la publicación de jóvenes autores y estamos felices que haya recogido este libro.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
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Editors:
Angelica Butiu-Coronado
Marisa Urrutia Gedney
Mirabelle Wostrel-Rubin
Cover Artwork: Angélica Becerra Garcia
Book Design: Rachel Mendelsohn
This project was made possible in part by support from the Vera R. Campbell Foundation
TIME TO HEAL
EXPRESSIONS OF RESISTANCE, RESILIENCE, AND REIMAGINATION
CONTENT WARNING
The individual narratives in this book may contain details on topics such as homophobia, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, self-harm, and suicidal ideations.
CONTENTS
I AM MY OWN VERSION OF BOYLE
The Story of My Life, Giraffe B. .........................................................66
The Harsh Truth, Steve D. ...............................................................69
The Beauty You Left Behind, Katherine H. .............................................71
When I Needed Wisdom, S.S. ............................................................72
The Hidden Truth, Rebecca O. ..........................................................74
Anxiety, Leslie S. .........................................................................75
Am I Someone..?, Anonymous ...........................................................77
Boyle Heights, Anonymous ..............................................................79
ONE OF MANY STORIES OF IDENTITY ..............................................................................82
One of Many, David M. .................................................................83
A Part of Me That’s Now Free, Leslie C. ...............................................85
This is Me, Sonia R. ......................................................................86
More of Me, Kimberly S. ................................................................88
The Culture of Maciel, Brian M. .........................................................89
The Real Me, Esmeralda R. .............................................................90
La Vida Mía, Marisol R. ................................................................92
The World and Me, Robert M. ...........................................................93
My Life, Evelyn S. ........................................................................95
My Beautiful, Colorful City, Angela A. ................................................96
The Sunflower that Follows the Sunlight’s Energy, Leslie H. ..........................97 Me, Myself, and I, Kaley O. .............................................................99 I PROMISE OUR FUTURE
LA Dreamer, Aurora ...................................................................101
Esto es Mi Vida. This is My Journey., Andrew C. ....................................103
Recall Where It All Started, Adrian J. .................................................104
Nobody Should Have to Change Their Name, Aaron M. .............................106
Being Yourself is What’s Best, Mario C. ...............................................108
Weeping Earth, Crystal G. .............................................................110
Dr. Mendoza, Valeria M. ..............................................................111
Guerrera, Lizeth M. ....................................................................112
Head in the Clouds, Angela H. ........................................................114
Untitled, Janeth C. ......................................................................116
Overcoming My Shyness, Andrea R. ...................................................118
INTRODUCTION
A HEALING-CENTERED SHIFT
Without hope, you can’t reimagine your life or the world. That is why the conversation is shifting from trauma-informed pedagogy to healinginformed. Humans naturally gravitate towards trauma and our negative experiences when we talk about who we are and where we come from, but it can be so heavy and dark to stay in the negative. Students already know that they’ve gone through difficult things. They might not have the language to call it trauma, but they struggle with the healing process, with letting go of what happened-as we all do.
We center hope and reimagination in the healing process by asking students to start from their assets and consider what they bring to the world—we ask them to celebrate their growth and emphasize that we are all in the process of becoming the best version of ourselves.
When we started our writing and publishing collaboration with 826LA in 2014, the professional development, theory, and approach in education was focused on addressing student needs starting with their trauma. Over the years, the lens shifted to a more socio-emotional theory, which gave us a new language of hope and healing. Dr. Shawn A. Ginwright, author, professor, and activist, writes about the ways in which youth in urban communities navigate through the constraints of poverty and struggle to create equality and justice in their schools and communities. His research reinforces and highlights the importance of healing, giving us the guidance we were looking for.
A trauma-informed practice conveys to students that they are their trauma,
but we don’t think that is true. We teach that students are more than their difficult experiences. We validate their lived moments and address the larger systems of oppression, but focus on healing our community.
Healing-centered engagement puts the agency back in the student’s hands rather than saying, you are a victim of this. Ginwright (2018) says, “A healing centered approach to addressing trauma requires a different question that moves beyond “what happened to you” to “what’s right with you” and views those exposed to trauma as agents in the creation of their own well-being rather than victims of traumatic events” (para. 12).
Traditional psychology focuses on healing the individual’s mind, but Ginwright emphasizes a critical social justice approach: when you work on yourself, you’re also changing the systems that cause harm. His approach is a perfect fit for Ethnic Studies, where a lot of the work is to transform and change systems of oppression.
We framed the narrative questions for this book with a healing-centered shift. Some of the questions in each prompt were: Where do you hope to be? How have you healed from this? How have you grown from this? Instead of focusing only on what happened to students we asked students to think about the positive assets in their lives like their culture, community, and family. We went beyond identifying an issue, and asked them to create a call to action: what can we do to start contributing to a change in that issue?
When we’re asking students to think about memories of struggle they also have the option to think about the memories of strength. Liberation and hope have to be tied in. Rather than looking at what disempowers them, we asked them to look at what empowers them. Thinking beyond the hierarchies of power like Trump, the government, or billionaires, we think about the power we have within us and the power we have as a community. We asked, who nurtures the power within you? Thinking about world events and movements led by young people, they recognized their voice has power, the potential for unity, and creation of change. They realized they are not powerless and there is always more they can hope for and reach for. We have seen great change in our classrooms as we start to use healing-
centered practices. It is sometimes hard for students to reflect on how they have grown from their experiences, but when they recognize their own resilience, it is amazing. It is not something, as young people, they are asked about a lot. “What’s wrong?” is the more common question and the conversation usually ends there. They may not have the tools to move away from the sad or negative emotions. Some don’t recognize trauma as trauma. Exploring the systematic history of oppression helps give them the language to discover the concepts behind systematic trauma.
It is hard for students to see themselves in a positive light. We often get responses like: I don’t know, I’m lazy, I’m a bad kid, I’m chill. It is hard for students to acknowledge themselves. When we shift the focus to healing, we shift the focus of self-perception. Their answers evolve to: I am a strong person and I am powerful because of what happened to me. We validate their small and big achievements in the language we use: I am proud of you today, I am proud of you for sharing. We share appreciation for each other, when students are sharing, and we build that into our practice.
As teachers, the collective healing makes us extremely reflective. We are constantly asking ourselves: am I creating a community and environment that they feel safe in? It is so difficult to build those relationships and have students be open and support one another. They are taught to be individualistic but we are challenging them to heal as a community and that is hard to create amongst teenagers and even adults. If they don’t feel safe in the classroom, they won’t feel safe to share their experiences. We hope this book will contribute to the decentering of trauma and a new focus on healing in all classrooms, creating more healing-informed educational spaces everywhere.
As practitioners of this work we realized we are also on our own journeys of healing practice. It is vital that we surround ourselves with people who recognize and support our growth through acknowledgement and encouragement and work together with our social workers to have allies in supporting students. We must continue to prioritize our own healing through what nourishes us: nature, running, reading, and acknowledging our own oppressions. At the center of Ethnic Studies is sharing stories; as we are asking students to share stories, it’s important for us as educators to
share too. Traditionally our stories have been erased and are not allowed to be shared—it’s a mode, we listen and we share.
Acknowledging that it is time to heal will help us build our collective thinking, this in and of itself is the pedagogy to create a more healinginformed space. The stories in this book will build the reimagination of our community. This book is the starting place. This is where we can start from, the roses instead of the toxins. Don’t focus on the concrete when you are the rose.
Ethnic Studies Teachers at Roosevelt High School, Boyle Heights, CA
Ginwright, S. (2018, May 31). The Future of Healing: Shifting From Trauma Informed Care to Healing Centered Engagement. Retrieved from https://medium.com/@ginwright/the-future-ofhealing-shifting-from-trauma-informed-care-to-healing-centered-engagement-634f557ce69c
THE LIGHT IN THE DARK
THROUGH TOUGH TIMES COMES A BETTER SOLUTION
ENRIQUETA ROSA
Dear Mom,
All my life I never knew about your past. All my life I struggled to calm my anger. All my life I avoided school work because it hasn’t meant anything to me and I have been too lazy. All my life I have been tired coming home from school and wanting to go to sleep. I was this way until I knew your story of sacrifice….
Your life in Culiacán, Sinaloa was not easy but you found a path to joy. You were raised in a large, energetic, fun, and hardworking family who worked for a better future and looked for the light in times of dark struggles. You were the youngest of your siblings and did not get as much attention as my tíos and tías. Since you were the youngest you always helped your mother, my nana, while the older ones worked to bring a bit of money. You never complained about helping Grandma and she wouldn’t ask for your help. You would do it without any hesitation. You would always clean the house, do the laundry, clean the rooms and bathroom, help make food, and after you would finish your homework. Now that my siblings and I are around that same age, when we get asked to help you we complain and hesitate to do it. We say to you in our sassy tones, “Why? Again? It ain’t my turn,” or “I didn’t make that mess, so why should I clean it?”
After hearing your story I see the world differently. Kids that grew up in the United States don’t care about school. They really don’t. Some drop out of high school before senior year, girls get pregnant and can’t attend school because their job is to now take care of their babies. Some kids, because they consume drugs or join a gang, don’t attend school anymore. The difference with kids who live in the United States who have the opportunity for more things like free books and a free education, is that you can be in a poor family but you’re always going to have someone who can help you. Those from Mexico are less fortunate; they don’t have a free education, they have to pay more than a thousand dollars each semester; they pay for books, their uniforms, and if they are poor, they can’t get help at all. In Mexico, kids care a lot about school, because they want a better
future than the one they have. Sometimes they stop attending school because of the lack of money to pay for their education. Other times they are forced to work to help bring money to their families.
You might be asking yourself, “How does this girl know this if she is from here?” You want to know how? My own cousins struggle and they’re trying their best to continue attending school. They have to go to school from 6:00 AM and come out at 2:00 PM, then go home and get ready to leave for work around 3:00 PM, and get out of work around 10:00 PM. They get back home around 11:00 PM, eat, shower, do their homework, and finish around 3:00 AM or 4:00 AM. They go through all this struggle to keep their education.
Understanding this reality made me know the real struggles of life. It got me thinking that what teenagers consider as hard, doing our homework or passing a class, really isn’t. Teens in Mexico have the real struggles. They try to continue attending school while having to help their parents and themselves, yet we have everything but we don’t appreciate it. Now I know your story of what some Mexicans have to go through to come to the United States to give their children a better economic life. Some children don’t take advantage of what they have, they just throw it away.
All your life you have wanted a future for us, wanted us to keep attending school. All your life you have motivated us to not give up, and to keep trying when things get hard. All your life you have come home from work tired, but you still have the energy to make food so we can eat, to clean the house, and to spend time helping us.
You don’t even have time for yourself because you are making sure we have whatever we need. I’ve seen you keep your head high when you feel down, and I learned all this from talking to you about your life in Mexico. You shared that for holidays you wouldn’t get toys but your friends would. You didn’t mind however, you were thankful for the bit of clothes you had, a roof over your head, and food- that was perfect for you. On Sundays everyone in town dressed nice but you didn’t have many clothes so you would wear the same dress every Sunday.
Life was hard for you as a child, but harder for you when you decided at the age of seventeen to come to the United States. Your memory of crossing the border made me feel a connection with you, a bond built between you and me. You said with pain in your voice that you crossed the desert, “con mis pies todos ensangrentados y mis rodillas también. Tanto que me caía y me levantaba.” Though the pain from your bloody feet and knees made you want to give up, you kept going because you saw other people run, fall, and not make it. You feared that would be you but you remained strong because of the group of friends you went with. “Pero gracias a Dios venía yo con ellos. Ellos me cuidaron todo el camino cuando yo ya no podía. Ellos me agarraban de la mano y unos a otros nos dábamos ánimo de que teníamos que caminar. Y no nos rendimos a quedarnos en el camino porque había coyotes, había culebras...Sabíamos que debíamos estar todos unidos. Todos juntos.” Listening to how your friends supported you and ensured that no one was left behind made me realize that real friends are not the ones who call you “bestie,” a real friend is someone who doesn’t leave you, even if it means putting their own life on the line. Not everyone’s journey ended well, though.
You went through a difficult time for us to have the future you didn’t have. We didn’t know how to appreciate it until we knew your struggles of wanting to finish high school and going to a university, but money was needed for that and there was no money. You had to drop out of high school and were not able to achieve your dream. You wanted us to achieve our dreams and complete yours too by finishing high school and attending university. At first we didn’t care but now we do. We want to show you it was the right thing for you to come to California by showing you that we are going to become someone in life. Thanks to you we don’t have to sacrifice like you did. Our life is easy and we should appreciate it. Thanks Mom, you are an angel. Thanks for giving us a better life by making sure we have what we need. Even if we ask for more, even if we might not deserve it, you offer it to us because you don’t want us to deal with similar struggles like yours. We love you, Mom.
Sincerely, Tu hija
MY BRIGHT LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS
SELENE G.
Thank you, Mom and siblings, for everything you have done. I am very thankful for you Ari, Andrew, and Ivan because you are there to play with me and make me laugh. Just like the time we fought over who would use the Xbox first and we started talking so loudly that people could hear us from outside. The way we start conversations, Ivan always has to speak so loudly as if he is screaming at us and we tell him to be quiet, that the neighbors can hear him. I can always count on you, Ari, to give me the advice I really need. Not to follow others and be a sheep, but to be myself. It was hard for me to go through life without knowing my father— knowing he is out there, but still not knowing the sound of his voice or the way his face looks. My brothers have always been there when my dad wasn’t, and I know they will always be there, just like the times they would take me to the park and watch over me.
My mom has and will always play the role of my father. She began to work at such a young age and now she works hard for her children. She worked nine hours per day and still had to feed my siblings and me, and do all the house chores all by herself. She worked hard to sustain us. She never gives up, never stops trying to give us the life she says we deserve. She gave my siblings and me the chance to live a better life than she did. My mother never finished her education, nor did she have a chance to live her best life as a teenager. She didn’t get to work toward her dream because she was busy worrying about family problems and her soon to be born child. I’m glad she didn’t give up on her kids, but instead decided to make our lives a bit better than hers. She dedicates her time to all of us. I know she cares when she sits down and talks to me, asks me if I am okay, or when she calls to check up on me. It seems like she doesn’t have much time for herself. She should use her own time to rest and sleep the hours she needs to sleep. Even when everything felt like it was over, my mom always found a way out of our problems. When we got our rent money robbed my mom didn’t just stay there and freak out, she went knocking on everyone’s door in the neighborhood to ask for some money to borrow. It was her perseverance that kept us going.
My family has always been the light in the dark. They are the ones who cleared the path for me, who didn’t block the way; instead they led the way out of my troubles. All the times they said, “I love you” gave me strength. Their hugs give me warmth and calmness. When friends come and go I know I am never alone because of them. I have hope and I never give up completely. Things that ate at me from the inside would grow back with the love of my family. In times when I thought it was all over for us and felt like we fell down, we got back up. We had to move from one place to another, never having a stable home, making it hard to make friends. I had to deal with bullying and had to save myself from being knocked down and made fun of. I was going through dark times but they were always there for me. We are so close that their pain has always been mine. Seeing them sad, angry, or miserable makes me feel the same. When I felt dejected, only my family was able to make me smile right away. I felt alone but they were there for me. There is no way to describe the love that one feels when it comes from someone in your family. It’s the strongest love you’ll ever receive.
A REMARKABLE MOTHER
JESSICA A.
Dear Mom,
I love you more than life itself. You’re my biggest priority because you are the one who supports me and encourages me to do well in school. I know life for you as a youth until now has never been easy. You had to leave school when you were only in sixth grade so you could look after your siblings. I look up to you for all the obstacles you have faced in the past years. I know coming to the United States wasn’t something you had to do, but you knew you would have kids along the way and you didn’t want them to go through the same difficulties as you did. I want to succeed in life so I can give you everything you deserve. I don’t put as much effort in school because sometimes I just don’t understand the assigned work, but when I think of you it makes me want to do my best.
There are times when it may seem that I don’t appreciate everything you do for my siblings and me. I know I don’t thank you enough for everything you do, but I appreciate you being a hardworking mother. I know my siblings and I are your biggest priority, and I could never thank you enough. Working at a food stand for nine hours doesn’t give you the type of money you would like, yet you always make sure to provide my siblings and I with a meal, clothing, and shoes. Throughout my fourteen years of life, you have been the only one who has never doubted me. You are resilient because after a nine hour shift, you still take time out of your day to ask your four children how their day was or just to check up on us. I am truly blessed to have you as a mother and a friend.
Seeing you struggle has made me realize that life has never been easy for you. I want to be the one who supports you. I’ve seen you struggle with the bills and I really want to be the one to lift them off your shoulders. I will finish high school, go to college, and study medicine so I can become a doctor. I will accomplish all my goals with your support, and I will take you out of that nine hour shift to be the one who supports you. You have raised me to be a strong and independent woman.
Sincerely, Jessica
FAMILY SERGIO N.
I am LA, California, from an energetic Mexican-American family
Where cumbias play out loud in my backyard on our birthdays or special events that happen eleven times a year
Where my mom pulls me out to dance and I don’t like it, but I do it to make her happy
Where Uncle Koala gives five minute long speeches and advice on being hardworking and succeeding in life and I listen and answer his questions
From a good neighborhood and a wonderful community that has clean streets
Good neighbors who check up on each other when they see others walking along the streets
I am the corner store Martin’s Mini Market, where kids go on Halloween to get some free candy, and where adults go for food supplies
I am the loud and scary sound that wakes me up in the middle of the night and keeps going for several minutes
I am my favorite TMNT toy that my mom gave me for my birthday which brought me joy when I saw it
I am my dad and uncles who tell me what to do and what not to do; they teach me that if I am failing in school it is okay, just work harder to get that good grade
I am my great grandma who we visit when we go to a festival as a family tradition
I am a tale my mom tells so I don’t talk to strangers; if I do, I won’t see her again From her saying, “I learned when I was a kid.”
I am from tamales my mom makes for Christmas, who’s scent makes my mouth water and tacos my dad makes for my birthday which bring me joy because they bring my family closer
I am the time my family and I went to the zoo and to Mexico
TRANSFORMATION AND RESILIENCE CAUSED BY VEGETABLES
ANGELICA L.
Dear Future Self,
If something terrible happened to anyone I love, I would be resilient. I became resilient because of what happened to my mom. She got sick without noticing but she did notice the pain she felt. I felt depressed the moment my mom came in the house and told us the bad news. It’s important to know this because this can happen to anyone who doesn’t eat healthily. I don’t want to see people feeling down; I want to see them enjoying their life. This took place four to five years ago and it was especially scary because it happened to someone I love.
It was challenging to face this situation because my mom was about to die. She hadn’t gone to the doctor in a long time, so they hadn’t checked how much blood she had left. My mom finally went to the doctor because of headaches, dizziness, and pain she had in her ear. This lasted for at least two months and she thought it would go away. When the doctor checked her by getting a sample of blood, he noticed that she did not have enough of it and she was diagnosed with anemia. “Anemia is a condition that develops when your blood lacks enough healthy red blood cells. Anemia is the most common blood condition in the U.S.” (Anemia Causes, Types, Symptoms, Diet, and Treatment). It’s important to know this because it’s common, so it could happen to anyone. Doctors told my mom they were going to keep her in the hospital, but she said no, because she wanted to go home to tell us that she was about to die. The doctors informed my mom that they could cure her, but that it would take three days. They injected needles into both of her arms and the blood would go through the tubes to the needle, and then inside her body. It took three days for the doctors to inject all the blood that she needed. After one week they would know if her body had accepted the blood they had injected.
I was worried when my mom came back from the hospital because she told me she still couldn’t do anything. She had to rest at home and lay down or
else the blood they injected would come out. As time passed I was so frightened that the blood would not adjust to her body, and that there was still a possibility that she might die. But that week passed and the doctor said she was fine. She was told to eat lots of vegetables, and to not stop eating vegetables because they are the one thing that helps you produce new blood and stay healthy.
The event affected my brother, my dad, and me because we weren’t used to eating vegetables. We hardly ate any because we did not worry too much about them. We didn’t know the consequences of not eating healthily. Since this happened to my mom, she makes us eat vegetables everyday, because she is scared that it might happen to one of us. She wants us to eat healthily and go to the doctor often. This is how I became resilient; I dealt with it by talking to my dad. After the week passed my dad said that everything was fine.
I also dealt with it by helping my dad out, taking care of my brother, and making food while he was working. I would take care of my brother until Dad came home at 4:00 PM. I did that so I could distract myself and not think too much about what doctors were doing to my mom. Instead I played with my brother. I completed all the chores because my dad came home tired from work, even though he did not want to show it. He still made us food and I helped him clean so he did not have to do that much. Looking back, I wish I had visited my mom and asked her how she was doing, it would have helped her feel happy. We missed school just to come see her and give her a hug. She would have felt safer because she was not alone. I would have stayed with her because I missed her. If things didn’t go well, at least I would be there to say goodbye. Fortunately, everything went alright and I felt relieved when the week passed.
Sincerely,
Angelica L.
Dear Baby Girl,
A MIRACLE CAME INTO MY LIFE
JESSICA S.
I don’t know how to say this to you but I want you to know you are one of the biggest blessings in my life. The day I found out you were going to be born I was happy. I knew you were going to be a big change for me, and I knew life wouldn’t be the same. I knew you were going to change me to be a better and loving person. It’s crazy how time goes by, I can remember when you were only a few weeks old. You were so small when you were born on May 14th, around 10:20 PM. Now you are already going to be one year old and are so big, starting to walk, and trying to talk.
You are the cutest creation ever. When you smile and laugh, you bring other people joy. You get happy when I hold you and we start to dance; you laugh and smile, sharing the time we have together. When I get home from school and you see me, you walk toward me for a hug and a kiss. I enjoy seeing you walk around with your doll, showing us how much you care about her.
There are times you annoy me so much. Sometimes I don’t know what you want when you cry and don’t want to eat or play on the floor with your toys, or go mimis. I just hold you, sing to you and wait for you to fall asleep. There are times you get mad because you are playing with your toys and I grab you to hold you and you try to bite me so I’ll let you go. One time you pulled my hair because you found it funny when I get mad at you. There are times you get mad because no one gives you attention so you play with your toys instead.
Through it all, you make me the happiest person. I thank God I get to watch you grow every single day of my life. I love you baby sister, and I won’t leave your side no matter what happens.
Love your big sister, Jessica S.
GROWING UP FAST
ESTRELLA L.
Dear Mom,
You are such a strong and dependable woman who would do anything for her loved ones. I aspire to be just like you when I grow up. You always try your best to get home quickly to spend more time with your children. Although you come home tired from your back-breaking job of sewing clothes all day you still come home with a smile on your face, happy to hear how our day went. Your childhood back in Mexico was not any easier. You had to grow up fast and by ten years old you were cooking, cleaning, and helping your parents with your younger siblings. When I hear these stories it makes me want to be a more responsible and respectful sister and daughter.
When you were eight or nine years old, your parents left for a nearby town to open up a shop. Since your four older siblings worked in another town you had to cook, clean, and tend to your four younger siblings as if you were their mom. You were balancing all of this on top of school. Your hometown was dangerous and filled with gangs. Your parents would only visit you and your siblings on the weekends. Sometimes there were days you felt scared because you thought something bad might happen to you or your siblings while your parents were away.
On one occasion your youngest sibling who was four years old at the time was stung by a scorpion. In your hometown, there was only one person who had the medication you needed. You ran to your aunt’s house to see if she could help. To your misfortune, the person who had the medicine ran out of it. Then your older brother came with a car and took your brother to the city. The doctors had to inject him with the medicine twice because of how sick he was. That day you were terrified that your brother would die without you being able to help him. After having to spend a few days in the hospital your brother was finally able to go home.
Hearing this story makes me think about how you raised my siblings and me. You always told us to love each other and help each other out. You
almost lost your brother and that’s why you don’t like to see us fight. Thank you, Mom, for teaching me the importance of family. I hope one day I can grow up to be as strong, loving, and responsible as you are.
Sincerely, Your daughter Estrella
MY WARM AND FUZZY LIFE
APRIL G.
I am from Los Angeles, half-Mexican and half-American From Boyle Heights where there are Mexicans everywhere I am the store on the corner, where I always get snacks I am from loud noises in my neighborhood; you’ll always hear dogs barking
I am a little pink bike that I rode every day until I grew out of it From a dollhouse that helped me forget my surroundings, and the bows my mom put in my hair I am my grandma who used to love cooking and my grandpa who would take me to get ice cream every Sunday I am my aunt who’s always there for me and treats me as if I am her daughter
From the color we pick to wear every year for Christmas I am, “Never give up in school,” and “I love you,” from, “Family never gives up on each other,” and I believe it with all my heart
I am the beans we have everyday and pancakes we eat every weekend I am the big frame that holds my aunt’s quince pictures, and an old clock that makes a lot of noise I am from a big, loud, and loving family.
THE ORIGIN OF MY FAMILY
DANIEL P.
All of our family has done something in the past to make our indigenous identity the one we have now. History is important to us because it tells us where we come from and how we arrived to the life we have now. Some people try to hide or even forget their history. Why, you ask? Because of your skin color or culture. That’s why history is important for us to learn, so I will tell my history.
We begin with my grandma who came to this country when she was only eighteen years old with the dream to make her life better. My grandma was no slacker; she worked hard as a waitress and God noticed that, and gave her a gift in the form of my grandpa. He was a nice man, he loved my grandma so much and they had a family of four kids: my mother Jackie, tío Johnny, tío Poncho, and tío Tono. They also adopted another boy, tío Wewe. Sadly my grandpa died before my brothers and I were born. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t dream of meeting him. My grandma was sad when he died, but she raised a family by herself, and was great at it.
Now my mother’s journey is next. Her life was rocky at times. She was born in Los Angeles to a big family, and had to do many chores. Later she went to school to become a dental hygienist. School was hard for her because she was bad at math but she kept going until she succeeded. She met a man when she was still in high school who got her pregnant. He was my brother’s dad, he was nice too, but sadly he died when coming back from Mexico. My mother mourned him. She had two children so she got a well paying job at the dental office, and life was good for her. Over the years she met someone whose name was Miguel. They had a child named Danielme. I was born in 2004 with autism but I am high functioning and have learned to accept myself. My mother has taught me many things in life, and I don’t know what to start with. I am grateful to her, and will never stop loving her as how long I live. She’s a good mother.
My family’s journeys define who I am in life by teaching me to be humble and kind. They also teach me what working hard in life is like. My dad showed me to work hard while in school. Life will give, in time. He and my
grandma showed me how to cook which helped me learn patience and balance. I am told that I owe a lot to my dad and grandma for teaching me, so I thank them for that.
My brother, Julio G. had some troubles and wanted to quit, but he did want to graduate from middle school so he buckled down and practiced reading until he improved. My other brother has a life like a roller coaster. He almost didn’t graduate with all the odds against him, but he still worked hard to get his degree. Their experiences showed me how hard life can hit you but what matters is if you can get back up from it.
My life is not that exciting, but I still need to tell it. I thank God for giving me a loving family. Let me tell you that life is hard. I am not sugarcoating it, and people who can’t take it don’t want to live. If there are teenagers who think life is hard, oh boy- you haven’t even seen how adults are! May God help you. Live life how you want to and don’t forget history.
This story was from me to you, to tell you what it means to have history. Some people resent their history, but when history is forgotten no one learns from the past. My history is a little sad but my family says that tragedy turns into strength in life, and they’re the ones who make those who passed away proud. I will carry this to my grave by telling the story that has never been told and be happy that history is being told by a new generation. Life is a journey, and at the end I will have no regrets, I will live it to the fullest. When someone tells the story of their life, you might learn something new about your family history, and how hard they work for you to get there. Never forget your history because your history can define you. I am the man I am today because of my history.
ALL ABOUT ME
PAULINA S.
I am from the United States and Mexico, from a violent but hardworking, lovely, and brave community
I am the basketball courts from my neighborhood
I am the smell of spicy Cajun shrimp cooked by my mom on the weekends I am the playhouse in my backyard
From Barbies and pillows
I am my outgoing mom and unsupportive dad
I am from my mother who stresses a lot
From eating pollo and tamales on Christmas, New Year’s, and every other family tradition
I am, “limpia tus calzones”
From, “Mi enemigo el amor”
I am pinto bean frijoles, maiz tortilla, and the carnitas we eat
I am the rosario hanging around my family’s neck
I am the shirt that reminds me of my first classic football game
I am who I am today because of the decisions I made yesterday
THE OPPORTUNITIES I’VE BEEN GIVEN
GLORIA P.
I am from Boyle Heights.
A girl born in a hard-working Mexican-American family
I am a girl whose family came to the land of opportunity. I am from waking up extra early on weekdays to help my parents work. I am proud to be part of a beautiful Mexican American family.
From never taking off that necklace that my parents bought with their hard work.
I am proud of where my roots originally came from. I am from waking up every morning to the noise of my mother making breakfast for my father before work, who would wait for him impatiently everyday, feeling heartbroken to see his overworked face.
From noticing that life is short so spend it with the ones you truly love I am someone who shows resilience no matter how challenging things can get
From standing up no matter how many times I fall I am someone who appreciates every little thing that is given to her no matter what it is, and never sees anything as lesser.
I am someone who believes that dreams really can come true, because in the country I live in, so many opportunities are given and I think none of them should be wasted.
I am proud to have the opportunities I do
I’m grateful for my parents’ support because thanks to them, I have the power to write this beautiful poem
Dear Mom and Dad,
ANONYMOUS
I am truly grateful for everything you’ve done for my siblings and me. I hope you realize how much you have worked for what you have today. I know I hardly show that I appreciate what you have given me but deep down, not many people can say they started their journey owning a little store in a corner somewhere in Mexico. You both started this journey twenty-one years ago. You have had four kids, but only three have been able to grow. You both put in a lot of effort for what you have and I wish I had the right words to tell you how much I love you both.
Dad, you’ve tried your best to see my siblings and me grow up. I remember you saying, “ I honestly never thought I would make it this far into your lives.” It amazes me how you work for so long and still manage to survive LA traffic, especially when you just want to get home and sleep like a bear for months on end. You are my role model because you started working at such a young age, and when you went to school you didn’t have shoes to wear, but you pushed through. When you wanted some water you had to walk for miles on end to just fill up a couple of gallons.
Mom, although we are not always on good terms because of our attitudes, I appreciate those times when you get out of work late and are tired but you still try to have a long and great conversation with me. I appreciate your hard work especially now that you have two shifts. Anyone else would be tired and worn out but you manage to do it. When I ask you why you do it you always say the same thing, “Because I want the best for my three kids– I want you to have things I didn’t.” You are my other role model aside from Dad, of course. You also started working at such a young age, and had to work for things you wanted like clothes, shoes, and certain foods that your mother couldn’t afford to buy on a daily basis.
Thank you both for your support, no matter what it is for. Thank you for all the random, “I love you” texts; they truly made my day at times. To make you proud I promise to graduate high school and college, and to be a great person in whichever community I decide to live in. I will teach my kids the religion you both were passionate about and tell them their grandparents’ story. I will make the best choices for myself, my future, and for you, Mom and Dad.
BETWEEN MY FATHER AND ME
MARIA S.
My dad is the person I connect to the most. I can trust him with everything and he gives me the best advice. I wanted to learn what experiences my father had while going to school. I wanted to make connections with his and my experience in school.
My dad spoke about having a lot of good communication with his friends and teachers without the distraction of cell phones. He used to play basketball with his six brothers and sisters during lunch at school. He emphasized that there are big mistakes that you could make and then regret it all. He didn’t graduate from high school, because he didn’t want to retake a math class, and he regrets it now. School was different and students were different then. They would communicate a lot more in person rather than using a phone, because there was no social media back then, and they would talk to each other a lot more than nowadays.
I asked him what year was his best and why. He said, “1984 because that is the year that I graduated from middle school at Stevenson and that was the best year, because I had fun that year.” I feel connected to this because I graduated from the same middle school. My last year in middle school was so important to me because all I wanted was to focus on was my grades. We had so many little parties to celebrate the end of middle school. I got to spend those parties with my closest friends. I also felt really connected to all my teachers that year. I felt like they also helped me culminate middle school.
I asked him if he looked forward to school here and why. He said, “Yes, because I wanted to progress, educate myself more, and be somebody in life.” This stood out to me because I want to educate myself in school to be somebody in life, and I want to have a good life with a good job. I want to become either a teacher or a doctor because I feel like I can talk to them when I need help. When it comes to my teachers, I can be open with them with my work and life problems. With doctors I can talk to them about my health problems, and I can be really open with them about myself, and I can trust them to be truthful with me.
“My goal was to be somebody in life. I always wanted to be a teacher, but sadly it never happened, and it never came true.” This surprised me, I know your dreams don’t always come true, because it’s hard to accomplish them. People sometimes think that dreams never come true. In my perspective, I believe if you put all your effort and heart into your dream it will come true. Giving up is an option but it shouldn’t be, you need to keep trying. Never stop until you reach your goal. My dad never got to become what he wanted because he gave up.
“Really, the only thing I would like to change… I regret not graduating from high school and I would like that to change, but sadly it can’t.” That is the reason I want to graduate high school, because if I don’t I know for a fact I will regret it. I am a person who cares a lot about school. My grades are my biggest focus as a student. I believe that school is very important and it should matter to people.
Talking to my dad changed my understanding of history. Now I know the history of everyone is important. It is not about something or someone famous or what many people know about. It is about what actually happened in the past with families, including my family.
What I learned about my father has strengthened my connection with my family, now I know what they went through in school. I know especially about my dad’s experience. It was honestly so unbelievable, nowadays it is so different with social media. Sometimes I wish life was how it was back then- everyone would communicate more in person than by electronics. Now that I have learned about my family’s past, I feel like I will tell my niece my past. The same way I learned who my parent really is, I can talk to my niece about my experiences.
I AM MY OWN
VERSION OF BOYLE HEIGHTS
A LOVE LETTER TO MY PARADISE
HAILEY G.
Oldies bumping from the car, cruising down Echo Park Ave. or Ithaca looking at the stars. Listening to Ralfi Pagan cry, “No soy de tí” or Brenton Wood quaver, “I Like the Way You Love Me.” You’ll see different types of foos, up in Elysian Park dressed in Dodger blues, tats, blue bandanas, and their white Cortes, brown and dark skinned kids running, getting ice cream, or picking flores. View of the skyline on the Eastside at the train tracks, dreaming of chasing paper, making money, making stacks. The smell of tacos de asada coming from down the street, while a man drinks a 40 on the porch just trying to beat the heat. Gunshots white tees and brown skinned thugs. Can’t even sleep in peace, without the fear of being six feet deep. Smell of weed and trees, fill the air and move with the breeze.
An horchata is the first thing I grab, the taste of cinnamon and ice, the coldness drips down my hand. Blue skies and teary eyes, blood stains and momma’s cries. Echo Parque and Boyle Heights, where your mentality is keep quiet or take flight. For years I grew in places like this, but there are certain memories that I sure won’t miss. Lord, my head hurts, things just seem to get worse and worse.
Smiley is a cover for me, ‘cause she’s my other personality. She hides what I’ve gone through, if I were to tell about it, you’d break apart too.
Tears shed. So you’d ask, “Then why is your name Smiley if you seem so blue?” Broken hearts and nights in the dark. Anxiety attacks, memories in my head stuck from the past. I grew from the pain, but my heart remains the same.
We live in a world where society ruins, and all kids know and see are gunshots and bullets. Kids grow up wanting to live their dreams, but their parents tell them it won’t be what it seems. They have no hope, so they use drugs and blades to cope. Nowadays we’re all heartbroken, our voices aren’t heard, we are all misspoken.
In the end you only really got you. You’re more than a street, or a hood or a crew. You’re worth more than what you think don’t run to the drugs or a drink. Pain is temporary, this is just a trail. So keep your head up, and keep on a smile. And one thing you gotta know, an outcome of violence, is something beautiful…
UNTITLED
JAMES C.
Growing up in Boyle Heights is a true Rose in Concrete scenario. Boyle Heights is an area full of beauty, yet so much ugliness at the same time. Behind the beauty of murals, landmarks, schools, and families lies the horror of drugs, gangs, taggings, and pollution. The only thing this world seems to be good at is focusing on the negatives, and that’s exactly what people do when they see Boyle Heights. When born in Boyle Heights, you are automatically born a minority with a target on your back, and a crowd full of people who don’t want to see you succeed. People in power, such as our president, label us all the same as dirty, immigrant Mexicans, gangbangers, taggers, or as a true disease to this country who need to go back to their own. As a community we can’t defend ourselves. Our own people are too busy harming or killing each other, and consuming overwhelming amounts of drugs and alcohol. But it’s time for a change.
It’s our job to grow as a community into this beautiful rose as we are all soldiers in this war for equality. We must shy away from all toxins and prove that Boyle Heights, and various communities throughout Los Angeles are not forces to be reckoned with. This all begins with the future generations in our community. The Chicano and Chicana youth have the ability to succeed in school, go to universities all over the country, and get powerful jobs such as lawyers, judges, governors, senators, and maybe even become president! We can make this country more diverse, and have the ability to fight back against the people who speak badly of us. We are a beautiful community full of culture and filled with so much potential. Be inspired, and inspire others to do good or make a positive change. Obviously we still have a lot of work to do before we transform into this beautiful rose, but we will get there. Then we will truly be able to appreciate life, as we will no longer have to receive so much hate, and gain the equality we truly deserve.
THE PRIDE IN MISTAKES
MARGARITA H.
I am the “ghetto place” of graffiti on freshly painted walls
I am the woman, the daughter, the sister, from a neighborhood that makes you work hard for a good life
I am from a place that people say is not good enough for them; this is not a place for people to live and there is no real life for you here They say this community has nothing to offer them, they say this community is a dead end; its not worth anything, and you should get out when you can, like there’s a plague going around They say this because they judged this book by its cover
I am from the school that people think gets you pregnant from the minute you walk in
I am the red, fresh smelling flower in my family’s garden, still blooming and correcting my mistakes
I am the lamp that’s still trying to find its place in my home; the simple, old lamp that still can’t seem to find its light, but holds a special place because Grandma gave it to me, though I don’t know where to put it.
I am the soccer player getting ready to start a new game
From a ballet dancer and gymnast who’s so close to sticking the landing and reaching her goal in the new routine
Where the only good and interesting thing in my life is learning how to appreciate life
I am the owner of a homemade furniture shop and a college student studying to be a teacher
I am Monica, the sister, friend, daughter, who never gives up Even when it gets very hard, she still finds a way to keep going and motivate you
From Christmas fiestas and hugging on New Years
From waking up early to grandma’s homemade cookies, hot and spicy tamales, new shirts and scooters; to getting ready for the countdown; eating grapes and ending up with string spray in your champagne
I am, “vas a ver cuando lleguemos a la casa” from, “ya ves, mensa,” every time I would not listen to my mom I am tamales mágicos that can only be made from my grandma’s old hands, and delicate churros that break once you pick them up I am the sister who always forgets something, like getting the wrong tacos for my brother
I am everything that I want to be and more. Yes, I fix my mistakes
I do that to be someone I am proud of when I look in the mirror I am my own version of Boyle Heights.
MESSAGE TO THE WORLD
SOLEDAD G.
I see this world sinking into an ocean full of hate
The hate consists of so much violence leaving no faith
It’s like ya’ll people can’t understand words anymore
How can I tell y’all I can’t live like this no more?
All this hating, crying, lying
And no more trusting or loving
Why can’t we just stop the violence?
Learn to truly love for once?
I wonder if people care
Are we all aware?
This world is making me go insane
All these people making the same mistakes
So many people hurting, but not many speaking up
Preguntándome: ¿Cuándo se acabará la violencia?
¿Cómo es que la gente crece con odio y sin amar?
Días pasan y parece que la gente no razona
¿Cómo es que no entienden que para vivir se necesita amar?
At night I cry myself to sleep wishing the hate would stop
Just seeing people always trying to be at the top
Sadly this is my reality
But then again, really?
Como quisiera que esto no fuera la verdad
Que este mundo no estuviera lleno de maldad
This poem is meant to make a change, but sadly your hearts are full of rage
We should learn from one another
Instead of hating on each other
Hablan y hablan y hablan del amor
pero lo único que hay es odio
One person sharing love Isn’t even close to enough
I wish this world would come together so we can end the suffering forever. Do we see the damage? No! We just take advantage Stop violence! Stop violence! Stop violence!
UNTITLED FABIAN R.
I am Boyle Heights where cars are roaming down 8th Street and kids are playing in the front yards and driveways.
I am from a first generation Mexican-American community, populated with mostly undocumented immigrants.
I am warm, tasty pupusas I buy on the weekends with frijol and queso at the corner of 8th and Rosalind where the neighbor sells them.
I am the loud music that my next door neighbor plays in the morning.
I am my first pair of very expensive Jordans that my tío bought me for my birthday when I was 7 years old.
I am from mini Lamborghini cars, WWE action figures, and mini skateboards that I would play with when I was bored and take to Sunrise Elementary School. Sometimes I would get caught with them and get in trouble.
I am Rosita, who would wake up as early as anyone can wake up, and start cleaning and listening to cumbia music. I am Chuy who is my height and likes to play rough with me, which is pretty fun because I sometimes play rough as well.
I am Lolita who is really short and I sometimes tease her just for fun, who always tell me to choose the right path that will benefit me.
I am from going to church on Christmas Eve afternoon and New Years morning.
My dream for this community is to be good friends with our neighbors and the people we know. No more violence so we all can enjoy Boyle Heights in a safe manner.
I AM WEIRDLY AN INTERESTING PERSON
JESHUA A.
I am from the great city of Los Angeles, from a small place called Boyle Heights
From the liquor store that everyone goes to after school
From a Mexican-American family of eight, where my obnoxious three little sisters are always fighting over toys, to my two older brothers who take me to the park every weekend to play basketball
I am my brother Felix who cuts hair and leaves everyone ready for prom the next day
I am from my mom yelling at me in Spanish, “The boogeyman is going to get you at night!’’ and “Clean your room!’’
I am from the tacos del pastor with guacamole and pineapple that I order from Tijuana
From the savory warm tortilla, to the juicy, fresh, and tender meat that makes my mouth water
I am from making tamales for Christmas
From biting into the soft dough, to the spicy meats that lay inside of it
I am from the smell of fresh lavender, the taste of rice and chicken, that when you put together, is like a food eclipse
I am the salty sunflower seeds that make my mouth jitter when they crack as I bite into them
I am the days sitting comfortably on the couch, watching the NBA finals on the television as I hear the noise of my siblings playing with their toys in the background I am the mini action figures I used to throw across my room, like the basketball and a remote control car, that I would crash into the wall all the time
I am my grandfather, Romulo, and my dad, Luis
who taught me how to be respectful towards others, who raised me to be the man I am today
From staying up until midnight to open presents on Christmas Opening big surprises that the family got me for being a “good boy”
I am the music that keeps every person in the neighborhood up at night because it’s too loud
I am the music that keeps everyone moving at the party as if it’s their last dance
I am the picture of my parents getting married, and a sculpture Jesus Christ whose bloody body reminds me of the torture and suffering he went through because of his religion
From the community that others see as ghetto and hopeless, but I see as home
MY LIFE AND THE WAY I SPEND IT
OSCAR V.
My name is Oscar V. and I live in Boyle Heights. Our community in Boyle Heights is not safe because there is violence in the streets at night, like murder. There is gun violence, like having guns on the streets and shootouts. I get so mad at the fact that people don’t even care about what is going on.
Our school in Boyle Heights needs cameras to make our school safe. People bring guns to school and want to shoot at students. It will cost people their lives. Do we have to decide to live or die? People, even teenagers, take drugs at a young age. Some teenagers take drugs but they don’t know that drugs damage and can even control your brain.
Even though people have problems in Boyle Heights they are mad that this community is not safe. The shootouts make their lives unsafe, and selling drugs in Boyle Heights makes our community more violent. People can’t control themselves from doing drugs or negative things in our community.
My life has been good. In the morning I get to choose a simple bowl of my favorite cereal, Frosted Flakes. Even when I feel so tired, I get to go to school. I listen to, “See You Again,” to wake me up to go to school. When I hear it I think of my grandparents back in Mexico. I remember meeting them for the first time when I was fourteen. That day was a huge gathering with our entire family. We celebrated them coming to the States by having a feast with our whole family. We always eat together.
I
AM SAM J.
I am Los Angeles, music and all creativity from the Sixth Street bridge to the Silver Moon Market on Fourth and Matthews
I am the graffiti on the walls and the skateboards carving up the pavement with each turn and flip-trick they perform
From the corridos my dad used to play, to the Elton John albums that would gather dust on the shelf
I am the smell of salt in the ocean and the savory taste of pan dulce from the bakery
From Boyle Heights to the Pacific Coast Highway
I am the Metro that travels from Soto to Chinatown from X-Lanes to the Little Tokyo plaza.
I am LEGO® Thanos and I need to balance the universe.
Fun isn’t something one considers when balancing the universe, but this does put a smile on my face
With all of my love, Sam J.
MEMORIES MAKE ME
NADIA A.
I am from Los Angeles, a colorful city with a lot of history and culture I am from a loving Mexican-American family from Boyle Heights where the lights shine bright at night I am the windows on the city buildings that reflect the light I am a daisy in the garden that grows and brightens up the neighborhood I am the picture on the wall that shows a happy family smiling at the camera
From blankets on the bed, to toys scattered on the bedroom floor I am from hard working parents who do everything they can for their family
I am my sister: intelligent, artistic, and helpful I am hoping for a better future
I am from the people who make tamales every Christmas, making a huge mess in the kitchen
I am from, “Do your homework first!” and, “Clean your room!” I am from loud church songs, praising every Sunday I am pozole and carne asada, food that brings the whole family to the table I am photo books that take me back to those special moments I am a girl who works towards what she wants I am discovering the world one step at a time.
CIRCLE OF LOVE
KEYLY M.
I am a Latina from El Salvador
From a community where everyone is always working two or more jobs, but still has time for family. I am from a family who follows their dreams of living in the U.S.; who wouldn’t leave us without eating; and for having a good education.
I am the waves from the oceans that had people surf on me
I am the sweet taste of coconut from the markets back home, and the smell of sweet strawberry shampoo in my new haircut.
I am from riding tricycles to riding bicycles with my friends when it’s a little sunny outside
From Barbies to parties and playing lotería and losing my money every time.
I am from my loving mother who always gives me a kiss on the cheek before I go to sleep, and a hard working father who works 24/7 coloring clothes, but also spends time with us by going to the beach, or just staying home and watching TV with us no matter how tired he is.
I am from my cousins who took care of me and played tag during the days and nights from always going to church and not saying bad words.
I am my parents’ voices saying, “Follow your dreams and never give up,” and “be kind to yourself, be proud of yourself because you matter to me,” which shows how much they care for me and how much they love me.
From the song, “Cuando me enamoro” by Enrique Iglesias which I listen to when I am sad
And the song, “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi which makes me feel happy and dance to forget everything.
I am from tacos down the street that taste like the most delicious food in the world, that go with the red spicy sauce and whose meat is sweet with tortilla
I am also from pupusas that have melted cheese inside with beans and sweet chicharron.
I am a golden bracelet my parents gave me on my second birthday to iPhones that I earned by getting straight As I am from a beautiful family who continues to give me their love when I am sad
A family who motivates me to go to college and not give up on high school when I get frustrated about my grades
I am someone who likes to use filters on Snapchat I am someone who wants to be a doctor and help my community I am someone who likes meeting new people I am Keyly M.
STRONG DIVINA Z.
I am a Chicana from Boyle Heights. I love my momma who is also my poppa because my blood dad is behind a fork. I like it like that. Mom is like my dad because she’s been there for me at sport events and everything that you can possibly think of.
I am from the projects where you stay distant from the end of the corner because they will be smoking or drinking there. You can’t cross the street because you will get hurt. My friends and I loved to play outside with the little kids from the projects. We would go in at twelve most of the time, take a shower, go to sleep, go to school, come home, and call everyone out. I loved it. I am surrounded by tagging, guns, drugs, no dad, factories, parks for cholos and not kids. That is where they did their job and sold, and had sexual relations. Cops coming in and out of my house looking for family or just to search for things and mess up our house. They will come when you’re not home and wait for you until you’re home. I am from robberies that happen as soon as the sun sets, to being homeless living in my mom’s truck. Red and blue lights in the corner of my eyes, gunshots in my ears, and scary unexpected scenes like my uncle getting stabbed.
I am from a well known family. My last name can either get you in trouble or get you help. They are a little bit scary. I am from bomb food with salsa and a bottle of Coke. From wonderful neighbors who make me happy, bringing us food, and letting me stay in their house when I get locked out. They’re my friends. From smells like weed and pigs, to feeling left out and bored, or a little lonely. It sounds like a circus in my house because there is a lot of screaming. I don’t feel like it’s my house. I sleep with my mom and little sister who is three months old. I wake up to her crying in my ear.
I am from visiting Pops behind bars in a big place with no windows. A dirty and musty place from the underground, dark and cold, sitting at a table coloring while he and Mom talk. Waiting in those long lines for three hours and only seeing him for ten minutes really made me sad. He was in Tijuana. I felt loved right there. He is a lifer in jail but I can’t see him anymore. He left me alone for a long time. I have no heart for him at all,
but when my mom talks about him I want to cry… but I don’t. Most of the people I love go away. That’s why I don’t get my hopes up anymore.
I am from waiting for my mom’s BBQs, pictures, and beautiful love. I am my sick grandpa; from throwing a plate at my head at the age of six, to seeing him fall in the bathroom dripping blood, then calling 911. Then my grandma had a stroke right after. I miss pushing my grandpa in his wheelchair. I miss his presence, his voice, his smile, his striped shirts. I miss going on the bus with him, his advice, and now he doesn’t even know my name. I still clean his glasses and feed him at the convalescent home. My grandma is such a hero. She’s seventy-eight and still works as a janitor. She’s been through worse. I am my wealthy yet humble grandma who I lived with for a long time. Thank you, because you’re amazing.
I embody Adam Z. whose best friend was will.i.am. Adam died from a gunshot right in front of me. I am from childhood parties on Christmas and annoying, funny, scary 4th of July’s when we all go crazy. I am not cute, I am annoying and funny. I am always being told, “Get out, leave me alone!”; “This isn’t your house!”; “I’m not your dad!”; “I’ll be home later,”; “I’m here.” I am from coming home late in the kitchen, trying to fix me a hot plate. I am from pretty good food, always eating good food, or just making food. I’m not doing good right now. My life dropped so quickly. I’m not going to say anything until next time.
MY WORLD AND ME JOSSELYN G.
I am Sinaloense and Los Angeles from the noisy streets of Boyle Heights from hearing people walk by the streets, cars honking, and loud hip hop
I am the smell of tacos on every corner tacos of asada with a squirt of lemon I am crispy fries from Jim’s Burgers and tasty frijoles from home
I am a speaker that plays loud Spanish music every Sunday morning from banda playing throughout the house every weekend I am the family portraits that hang on the walls of my house
I am a pink Barbie play house the pink bike I got for Christmas the pictures we would take with my toy camera
from family gatherings and dinners at home from going out to have fun every Sunday eating out at restaurants walking around the air-conditioned mall
I am my cousin who almost crashed her mom’s car trying to sneak out I am from a loud family of six
I am, “respect all adults at all times,” and, “do good in school so you won’t end up like me,” the lessons my mom always tells me
I am Josselyn G.
UNTITLED
ANDREW A.
There are two sides of the story, the Truth and what the government wants to be true. There are also numbers that represent us, social security, waiting in line, address. These numbers represent how to find us. The government isn’t bad because it’s the people who vote, and the people made the choice for the future generation. Police ain’t bad, it just happens that people make poor choices.
A REBIRTH
AMAZONS
DAISY B.
I am an Amazon. We women are Amazons.
We are just as strong.
We don’t have to follow society’s “gender appropriate” lifestyles or roles. We do not want to be a housewife, a maid, or a damsel in distress. We are breaking through the glass ceiling.
We have the strength to prove ourselves as equally deserving of the right to be seen and acknowledged for our success, no matter what.
We aren’t perfect but we are warriors, we fight for our rights and we aren’t quitters.
We are all beautiful and strong, we don’t have to wait for men to tell us that. We have to believe in ourselves that we are the ones capable of achieving our goals the minute the world turns against us we are going to lose hope on ourselves.
It’s time for us to believe in ourselves and stop giving a care of what the rest of the world has to say about us; only we know what matters. We have a voice that has to be heard; don’t let people shut us up and make us feel weak or scared of proving to them that we are capable of making a difference.
Men just think we aren’t capable of speaking up, that it’s alright for them to use us to do their dirty work, or to be used as a cover up story. Don’t let them take advantage of us. Don’t let them use us. Men seeing us scared and weak will only encourage them to do it again.
We are strong and brave and that is why we are known as Amazons. They may call us weak and ugly but they only say what they don’t see. They think all women are the same, that we are all going to make the same choices and the same mistakes, but they’re wrong. We may all be women, but we are all different. We make our own choices and mistakes. We are the
ones who choose to fix our mistakes or not.
No one chooses our lives for us. Only we can choose how we want our lives to be.
After all, you can’t judge a book by its cover.
Women are stronger than men could ever imagine. We give birth, we are the ones handling the responsibilities, and we are more useful than what we ever imagined.
Men think that we are only useful to be a housewife, to be used as a toy, and to be left as a scrap of meat for dogs to eat. No, we are not what men say we are. We have rights and we have our differences. We may be different but we are Amazons. It doesn’t matter what race we are, what matters is that we are actually making a difference. We are breaking through the glass ceiling and speaking up for our rights. We are changing the world. We have to make this change count in our society because we deserve the same respect as men.
I know we are capable of making a difference. I know we can change the world because we’re Amazons, we will get the respect we need.
A HARD LIFE GROWING UP WITHOUT MY FATHER
JASMINE G.
My life has never been easy. My school life from elementary to high school, and even before that has been difficult. I used to be so happy before but things changed when my parents divorced about eight years ago. That caused me a lot of pain growing up. As a fourteen year-old girl living in Boyle Heights, I looked back at that experience knowing it affected me and I will never forget it.
It all started when I was younger. My mom and dad split because my dad did some bad things. The only thing I can remember is my mom and dad arguing with each other constantly. My dad would be in and out of jail. It made me feel sad but what actually affected me was when my dad came home from being in jail.
My eighth birthday came around and I was so happy because I thought my dad had changed but he did not. At the time he did not live with me anymore because my mother had kicked him out. My dad called the house phone and told me to get ready because he was going to take me to Shakey’s Pizza for my birthday.
I was so happy to see my dad and hang out with him again. I got dressed and waited… and waited. One hour passes by, another hour passes by, and still my dad did not come. I called him and he picked up. I asked, “Daddy, where are you? I am waiting, Daddy, I am ready.” He responds to me with, “Sweetie, Daddy can’t take you. Sorry, I am busy with something for work.” I felt sad. I heard kids having fun in the background, and a woman. I told him, “I can’t do this anymore” and hung up. I knew he was lying to me. My mom and my older brother took me to King Buffet instead. I had fun, but not really. I made the best of it.
All the things I’ve said in this story hurt me and affected me in a way. I know that my mom and my older brother are important to me, even though my own father is not in the picture. I have other things I should feel blessed for and happy about. I have a father figure who has been there all my past years. My family gave me the love and the time that my father
never gave me. The person who gives me the most attention is my mom, who gave me life, and I love her more than my own father. This experience taught me to be stronger, knowing I can move forward without a father. To be honest, you don’t really need a dad– only a mother, an older brother, and maybe a father figure who actually loves you in some way.
Now I’m fifteen and my relationship with my father has started growing again. A few months ago my family and I went to the park to meet him again for the first time since the day he walked out. It was strange and weird because he wasn’t in my life for a long time but after that day my relationship with him has grown even better. He came clean to me about the whole truth of why he felt like he needed to walk out of my life. He got lost in a lot and it had an affect on me and my mother. He shared that he’s getting treatment, going to therapy, and getting help. His motivation was knowing that he wanted to see me again and he wanted to be prepared to make up for everything. He confessed, “I thought you were still going to be mad at me.” He gave me a chip as proof that he’s been sober for nine months and counting.
When my dad first left, his last words to me were, “I love you, Jass” and ever since then there had been a door that wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t tell anyone I loved them. When my father and I reconnected he cried and told me he loved me and apologized for everything. That gave me the courage to say those powerful words again to someone specific and to the people I took under my wing, like my best friend of three years, Serena C. I want to give her a special thanks for helping me get through everything and showing me I have people who love and care about me. I also want to thank my family for supporting me through all the rough moments when my dad wasn’t in my life- I love you guys. You mean the world to me.
I feel like my heart is back together again and my happiness came back to where it all started. I carry that chip because it motivates me to feel like I’m not alone. Every person has their own story and they can get through it in time. And this is my story, a hard life growing up without my father.
THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR
M.M.
When I look in the mirror, it’s hard to tell what I see. Sometimes I seem unrecognizable, from the way my hair is styled in two wild braids, to the dark circles around my eyes, showing my years of tiresome, endless work.
All of these are battlescars, choices that I made reflecting my growth. My growth from childhood to my personal growth from daily problems. All of these features on my body are battle scars.
I wasn’t always stuck up I didn’t always have a need to be the best or to challenge myself to write something that reflected myself I used to enjoy my time milling around wasting my days on fun, like playing dress up or taking time to visit family but I’ve learned from those days.
You can’t spend all your time having fun then you’re not ready for the hard part of life You’re ready to be babied and treated like a princess you’re not ready for the chaos outside of your fantasy I know this because I wasn’t.
I used to smile all day and wake up with a great start. I never felt the need to feel sad or angry until I got older.
Challenges came, people came, everything came It was as if life was wringing my insides out
trying to find what makes me tick trying to break me In the end I became resilient.
From then on, it was constant bullying from others, and myself. I was ready to leave my life behind and go do something else, something better.
I knew I never could I knew I had to try to make my life better try to make this life one from a story book with a happy ending, where I live happily ever after
I’d bury my nose in my books taking whatever information I could to improve myself, fix what mistake I thought I had, which in the end, were a gift.
I was picked on for my way of thinking for how I processed information, for how I looked, and my gift.
Every day someone had something new to make fun of and mock about me.
I was a specimen under a microscope to them a toy to play with until it was broken I was nothing more than a fly nothing more than something that had little to no value I came to accept it
I stopped worrying about what people thought. If I ever doubted myself I’d work myself till dawn taking on challenges that no one in their right might would do
I was all in my mind Meaning there was nothing to fear
If I ever got too personal, then to my room I’d go locking myself in distancing myself from any other human contact until I became indifferent about others’ issues indifferent about what they thought I was indifferent and I loved it.
That wasn’t life though It was not something to be proud of It was a stain I wore on my chest proudly when I shouldn’t have
I soon came to realize that the life I was living was a prison in my own head one I put myself in just so I’d never be hurt so I wouldn’t have to experience pain
It took every bit of courage I had to break open the cell door and let myself out When I did it was rebirth.
Everything made sense I realized I was going about life the wrong way, I didn’t have to distance myself I didn’t have to punish myself for the mistakes I made
I came into acceptance and allowed myself to venture out to do things that made me happy and gave me purpose
It was a gift I owe myself
a gift for the years of struggle I endured, because now I love myself
I love the way my skin breaks out I love the fat on my body I love the way my mind works and I love my personality
I love myself, flaws and all. No matter how cliche that sounds I can’t help but feel that way about myself Now I’m living a life instead of a hell and I have people alongside me, I love the Girl in the Mirror.
THANK YOU TO MY SUPPORT SYSTEM KINBERLY
P.
The day I told my parents they were shocked and angry. That was ten years ago, and since that day everything changed. I became more aware and fearful of every guy that came near me, I couldn’t trust them. I was scared and paranoid, because I thought every male was out to hurt me.
After nine years I decided it was time to get help. It was time for justice. It was time to heal. No more hiding in the shadows. No more keeping years of pain, anger, rage, and guilt. I now can finally get the help I deserve, share my story, and get the support I need to move on from this trauma that has affected me for so long. I go to therapy once a week now, and I honestly can’t explain the relief I’ve felt ever since I started. I’m finally opening up, and I feel like I’m getting rid of the big, heavy burden I’ve had for so long.
Some steps I needed to take in order to heal were first getting therapy and remembering that this event will not stop me from being who I want to be, or doing what I want to do in life. It will not change the fact that I still want kids who I will love and care for very much. This event will not define me; I am resilient and loving. I couldn’t have done it without the help of my parents and therapist. I’ll forever be thankful. The message of this story is that you should never keep such an event secret. Trust me, telling someone about the event will feel relieving and you’ll feel proud for standing up for yourself and showing the world you have enough courage to talk about it.
For people who face this I want you to know you are not alone. I want you to know you should not, under any circumstances, allow it to happen. Don’t feel like you should keep it to yourself because other people might not believe you. Don’t be scared to tell someone. I also want you to know you should never blame yourself for something like this, because it was never your fault. Please remember that.
THE STORY OF MY LIFE
GIRAFFE B.
It all started in sixth grade when I began to slack off on everything I did. I am Giraffe B. and I’m the youngest in a family of four. Before I was born, my parents were separated so it didn’t really affect me growing up. Even though they were separated I always saw my dad and when I wouldn’t see him, I would talk to him on the phone. But when I got to the sixth grade, everything began to change.
In sixth grade I wouldn’t see or talk to my dad as often. I never thought anything of it, I just thought he was out drinking with his friends. As time went by I began to get worried about him. When I would call him and he wouldn’t answer, I would ask my mom about him. Every time I would mention him she immediately changed the subject. One day I heard her talking to him on the phone so I told her I wanted to talk to him. She began to get nervous and told me he didn’t have time to talk to me.
Days passed. Her phone rang so she told me to answer it. When I picked up it was a machine, “Hi, this is Men’s Central Jail.” My heart dropped and I waited to see what would happen next. The next thing I heard was my dad. We began to talk and he asked me, “Do you know where I’m at?’’ I said, “No,” even though I did. He told me he was in jail.
The next day I went to school feeling sad and mad at everyone. I began to get in trouble, and not do my homework. I even stopped talking to my mom and brother. In school I would still hang out with all my friends but I also started hanging out with the “trouble makers.” In class I would kick the teacher, talk back to him, throw erasers, strawberries, water, and other things at him. One time he caught me putting a push pin on his chair so when he sat down it would poke him.
He called my mom for a conference and we talked to my counselor. I told her everything I was feeling and why I was being such a jerk to him. Even though I had someone to talk to, I still felt mad and sad so I kept being mean and behaving badly. I got so mad at my teacher I blocked his phone number and the school’s phone number on my mom’s phone so he wouldn’t
be able to contact her. Every day I would get in trouble but my mom wouldn’t find out, she thought I was being the nice and smart kid I used to be.
During the summer I would visit my dad and decided to go to therapy. I never told anyone. I always thought, “If you tell someone, they will judge you and call you crazy.” Therapy really helped me control my anxiety and act more like how I used to before.
In seventh grade my mom switched me to Magnet so I wouldn’t be with the same people. Halfway through the school year my dad came out of jail but he was deported. When I got home my mom was there (which she never is) and told me. I fell to the floor and began to cry really badly. The next day we went to TJ to see him and the entire way over there I was crying just thinking about him, and I didn’t talk at all. I began to feel depressed again.
I went to therapy again. I was just scared of everything and had so much anxiety. To this day I have so much fear of the world and so much anxiety I can’t control. I don’t go to therapy anymore but I wish I did. If you were to ask me what I learned from therapy I would tell you I learned to stay strong, and keep going in life. I haven’t seen my dad in two years but everyday of my life I think about him, look at pictures of him, and tell him I love him. I still go through things that put me down but I don’t let them get to me. I know everything happens for a reason and I have to stay strong.
I currently still feel sad, anxious, and mad when I want to talk to my dad. I have to remind myself that he’s not there. There are days when I don’t feel like coming to school, I just want to stay in bed all day long. When I feel like that I think of the promise I made to my dad: “I promise to finish school and be someone in life.” To be honest, if I hadn’t promised him anything I don’t think I would come to school and I’d just be a bad kid.
At this point in my life I know who cares about me. I know for a fact that my dad cares about me the most. He’s the biggest reason why I come to school and try to be a nice person. My mom also cares about me. I used to walk around with a smile, now I have to fake a smile just so that people
around me think I’m happy. Now I’m thinking about how to pass all my classes, and calm my anxiety and panic attacks. If you’re going through something similar, just know you’re strong and you will overcome it like I’m trying to.
THE HARSH TRUTH
STEVE D.
Projects: home of the rejects who be at each other’s necks
But keep it in your head instead There are bigger problems ahead
Like you trying to get your bread on the street One day it all built up, then you got beat now you resting easy since you under six feet And sadly it’s the usual story, but not for me
Where’s America, “The Land of the Free”? We can dream but everything comes with a fee so we can’t do anything without money Wow, 2019, we can’t accomplish nothing because it’s unfair due to the color of my skin So I have to put in my hundred and ten percent ‘cuz if I don’t I probably won’t make it to the end or will get mental disorders from being in the pen ‘cuz the schedule that’s in us is still the same from back when we were locked in the county jail with no bail on the road to fail or maybe, if we make it back to our kin we end up going back or start blowing smoke in the wind
Sucks to see my folk as a “minority” who just stuck in poverty with the government deporting us like we just property That’s why change should be our first priority
First, let’s start with changing ourselves instead of wishing everybody would go to hell if we change the way we think, go back to Love, it would look like a dove from up above. Kinda unexpected since we have a lot of problems to face but imagine a world with no race, where everybody can be themselves and not worry about others judging
personal space.
Just in case, try to help people in need by giving them a place to stay
If we weren’t filled with so much greed we’d probably be okay There’s no need to be killing each other over some dope probably won’t even have coke that’s killing our hope ‘cuz lately it’s the reason we falling down a steep slope and every time we look to the government, they say, “nope”
So I’m scared that at the end we’ll have nothing to hold What happens after we done falling and we fold? Is the government going to win all the control? But if we had Love it wouldn’t be the way it went since the odds we play wouldn’t have been bent Things would be fair, get help instead of jail time get your GED and make more than a couple dimes and not have to rob to pay for things, just listen to my rhymes My biggest advice is to keep your back on the wall try not to fall because if you do you’ll end up losing it all.
THE BEAUTY YOU LEFT BEHIND KATHERINE H.
My dad broke my heart before any other man could
My dad left before any other man could and had intentions that were no good
He left me wondering if it was my fault that he left and stole the image of living in a happy family, with two parents, like a petty theft
But him forcing my mother to take on the role of both parents was key to grow the inspiration of succeeding in life, out of me like a tree
My father’s actions taught me that I could blossom into a young thriving woman
His actions showed me that I deserve to be valued and my accomplishments should not be undervalued
My dad’s actions showed me that I deserve respect instead of having to face neglect
His actions showed me that I don’t need a man in my life and I’m not forced to become a wife
I can live happily without a man which I learned when he ran I can grow up to be whomever I’d like to be which may have been hard for him to see
My father taught me that I can take on conquering the world, little by little by working with other children and always telling the truth
His actions taught me that I should be kind, instead of acting like these other youth
Thanks to him, I am who I am today I am confident enough to believe in myself, instead of waiting around as if I were some prey
WHEN I NEEDED WISDOM
S. S.
When I was around nine years old my mom got deported. Obviously this had an immense impact on me and my siblings. It affected me but throughout that I still had the resilience to keep going with my life. This was a really difficult time because my mom was the only parent my siblings and I had, and not having her with us changed me entirely. I had to start living with an aunt and uncle here in Boyle Heights, which meant starting a whole new life with family I didn’t really know.
Since I was still very young, I needed my mom to be with my siblings and me. I still needed her wisdom to teach me right from wrong. I needed her to give me advice about life, school, and boys. I needed her to be present for special celebrations like my graduations. Every time there was any special occasion involving me, I always wanted my mom to be there to see how much I’ve grown and achieved throughout the years. Simple things that other mother-daughter relationships would have is what I desire the most. Not being with your parents is a fear every child has. Although my mother is still alive, it’s still not the same.
As time went by it started to get bad for my emotional well-being and I had to seek the help of a therapist. Talking to a therapist allowed me to open up and be consistent with myself and my problems, whether it was dealing with my mentality or realizing I needed to get better. I highly recommend seeing a therapist because it allows you to speak your mind without anyone judging, and helps you get into the depth of your problems or see what’s causing it.
My friends were also there for me and supported me. School also played a huge role in giving assistance and guidance. It gave me something to focus on to achieve great things. It’s unusual or rare for someone to actually enjoy school but I loved it. Not only was it a distraction but I liked being in class and learning new things. I could accomplish so many things like music and being in a band for almost three years. Music was not only a distraction and realization of having talent, but being in a band was like having another family to go to all kinds of events with. No matter how cheesy it
may sound, and this may only be my opinion, but overall it has brought happiness and pride into my life even if it may have been difficult or frustrating at times.
These things have positively transformed me and helped me cope with living without my mom. Instead of moping about it, shutting myself out, or negatively impacting everyone around me, I chose to get through everything and accustom myself to my new life. Overall, I wouldn’t have been able to get through this without the support from the people around me. Ultimately it has made me a stronger person and given me a glimpse of how life can be during times of hardships or marvelous times. Despite all of that, I still hope we all get together again. I dream of being the person who can overcome anything. This experience has made me the person I am today, whom I’m very proud of.
THE HIDDEN TRUTH
REBECCA O.
Dear Cheater,
I want you to know I can’t see you the same as I did before. You hurt me with your lies. You lied about that little girl and you lied about going to jail. The truth hurt me more than the lie.
The truth is that you cheated and got someone else pregnant. Why did you cheat, to hurt our family? I thought you wouldn’t be like one of those men who cheat. I thought our family was lovable and perfect. I never thought our family would be destroyed. When I found out you have another daughter, it broke my heart and made me feel like I lost everything! I honestly should’ve known from the first time I met her. She called you Papi and looked like me when I was younger. I thought our family was good and didn’t have problems, but I was wrong.
After I found out about the horrible mistakes you made, my perspective of you changed. I stopped seeing you as a dad and more like a stranger. The bond we had disappeared right after I found out about what you did. It felt like my heart was ripped out from my chest. Every time I think about what you did it makes me angry, sad, and lonely. I thought all these years you were a good person. You may seem like a good person but everytime I look at you or when my mother is talking about you, I know that you aren’t. I hate being around you so much. Now I feel uncomfortable and disgusted in your presence. Things may seem “okay” between you and I but trust me, they are not. I only have a relationship with you because I am forced to. I wish I didn’t have to be around you at all! I hope you realize now that we no longer have the relationship we used to have because you messed up our family.
Sincerely, Your “daughter”
ANXIETY
LESLIE S.
Anxiety
you can’t breathe there isn’t enough air in the world huffing and puffing
You are alone you are not visible the people around you are just walking minding their own business
Someone is talking to you but you can’t comprehend what they are saying Because in that very moment you feel Anxiety
It feels like you are in a dark place you can’t escape from you are stuck
As you try to find your way back you tighten up your fists and begin to feel the pressure traveling from your hand to your arm to your body alerting you to wake up and calm down or someone hugging you really tight making you feel the warmth of their body the sign of protection making you feel safe and at home
Anxiety
Some say it’s temporary Others say it’s a life-long mental illness
But I say just keep Breathing and Breathing and Breathing and Breathing
Anxiety
AM I SOMEONE..?
ANONYMOUS
I am “someone” who lies about liking the same shows and movies who pretends to know what people are talking about to fit in.
I am someone who draws colorful animations and people say, “you’re so talented”; “you’re very smart” even though I have F’s in all my classes Because I am someone who stopped caring about school someone who’s been body shamed for being overweight
I feel sad.
I feel like a failure to my family
I don’t like to wake up in the morning, it makes me unmotivated it affects me for the rest of the day and makes me moody
But, you know what? I am Someone
I am someone who plays the ps4 because video games have made me who I am today
I am someone who wants to be an animator when they leave high school Because of video games, I like anime and have so many stories to tell, and advice to give to kids
I am someone who writes songs who also relates to songs and cries and remembers fun memories from when they were a kid
I am someone who’s too weird to be a human I think I’m the next level of weirdness ...and I’m not ashamed of it
I’m not ashamed to talk about my feelings
I’m not ashamed to talk about my life and what I’ve been through, falling off a motorbike because I thought I knew how to drive or going through depression over my brother going to jail
I’m okay now
I don’t draw as often as I used to, I try to be careful of what I draw
I’m okay and I still have problems like everyone else does, like family things but I’m happy to be with someone who loves me for me
So, who am I? I am Zane, an artist who wants to be a famous animator who tells stories for fun, or a video gamer who does funny videos. I love you all.
BOYLE HEIGHTS
ANONYMOUS
A toxin in my life is bad vibes from anyone and everyone, usually not wanting me to succeed, and their commentary that makes me feel useless. Something that helps me through it is either listening to music that has inspired me or taking a moment to go outside and take a big breath of Boyle Heights tacos de asada from across the street. I remind myself that everything is going to be okay, and tomorrow is a new day.
If you’re going through a rough time and don’t know what to do; listen to your favorite artist, album, or band, and take a walk. Look at how wonderful the world is even though the world puts you in your worst nightmare. You have to thank them from what they have done because you will learn something new out of it.
My light at the end of the tunnel would be music like corridos– y’all already know! It has inspired me to get through tough times like family problems. There was a point where it had gotten so bad, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on my work. My family is still living, still arguing, but they are leading me down the right path to success. You’re going to regret it if you procrastinate on your work. I have and it’s tough to bring your grades up, do all your missing work, and turn everything in the next day. Despite everything I’ve been through I see my future self in a luxurious palace with a lamborghini, meeting my idols, and balling!
Even though I would feel bad about people judging me I started to play the guitar. Guitar was the only way I was able to make a positive change. I have also improved my communication with old friends and meeting new friends. It’s better to communicate with others because they can have your back; they can help you with homework or if you just need someone by your side.
Someone who has influenced me to do this was one of my oldest friends but he passed away. I have learned a lot from that person, they taught me to be the person I am now. One thing I do remember was when he told me not to be scared of anyone. Friends come and go, you have to fight for your
own because you were born solo and will die solo. This impacted me positively because I don’t let anyone bring me down. My parents or sister weren’t usually there for me but that person was. There has been some tough moments since then. When he left, a big part of me was left behind. Now that my sister is supporting me through this devastation, she taught me how to keep my head up. If I have a bad day she makes me laugh and helps me forget my problems.
ONE OF MANY
ONE OF MANY
DAVID M.
I’m one of many Latino teens who lives in Los Angeles. One of many Latino teens who is assumed to not care about the police brutality that happens in the streets. One of many Latino teens who is assumed to not care about the free education he receives. I’m one of many who lives in LA, a city known as one of the best in our nation. It’s the city with the clean beaches, the big fancy houses, Hollywood actors, the towering buildings, the vast amount of diverse cultures, and the many other amazing sites it has to offer.
Those are only the things that people outside of LA think of because it’s all the media shows. I wonder why the media does this. Maybe it doesn’t want to show the full truth of how the “clean” beaches have cans and wrappers lying on the shores, or the pollution that is depriving the people of air. Maybe it doesn’t want to show the fear that undocumented students have when they are being ripped away from their families by I.C.E. Maybe it doesn’t want to show the dread people have walking past street gangs and police who “protect and serve.” I finally know why the media does so. They don’t want to ruin the image of LA that it has been using to draw people to believe what it wants them to believe. That image the media makes of my city isn’t the real city I live in.
One afternoon my brother was heading out to buy a Mountain Dew. Shortly after he was stopped by the police and arrested because the police assumed he was a criminal. Only because he was a brown skinned Latino teen with a dragon tattoo. Even though he was released, our looks already alert police, and our actions could lead to something worse. I know on TV they say people will help, but years later there is still not a single change.
If people want to change the community of LA, we should first change how the media has blinded people by only showing them a bit of the truth. Instead, we should use the media to help open their eyes to the problems in our communities. If the media won’t help, we should use our own voices to awaken the people of LA. Hopefully we can come together to transform our community. I am one of many who does care about what happens on
the streets. I am one of many who does care about my education. I am one of many who wants a better future for our community, and will make sure that the problems we face become a thing of the past.
A PART OF ME THAT’S NOW FREE LESLIE C.
I am my own mind
I am not an object to be sexualized
I am not a slave to men’s laziness
I am a young Catholic, Hispanic, and bisexual woman who will do anything to achieve her goals of graduating college and not let “friends” intrude on her path
I am someone who has control of my actions and thoughts No one can control me from trying to make a change I am an independent female who will not let any man shut her up when trying to make a change
I am from a traditional family who let the man be the boss of the house I am from a religious family who doesn’t approve of their own flesh and blood being part of the LGBTQ+ community, but accepts outsiders who identify as queer
I am a young woman who is trying to change her family’s misjudgement towards love
I am a young Hispanic woman with dreams of being passionate in life and looking back to those who doubted her
I am a young bisexual woman who is not viewed as “a child of God” and has faced devoted religious people who don’t accept a girl for loving with all her heart because it’s a “sin against the words of God”
I am a young Latina woman trying to go to college and be a private investigator in a “man’s” career
I am someone trying to change the stereotype of women not being able to do a man’s job
I am confident, beautiful, and strong
“Be the change you wish to see in this world”
—Mohandas Gandhi
THIS IS ME
SONIA R.
I am from the mistakes that folks make, to the honorable actions that other folks take
I am the wrong and the right I am from a place called “Earth” where, if you are Mexican, you are targeted more than white folks
I am a household of seven people who mean a lot to me I am from Boyle Heights where some girls are known for teen pregnancy I am those girls who fight for their rights and stand up for who they are
I am from having to work hard for everything I have I am not giving up I am from trying my hardest to make my parents proud I am going to prove those wrong who judge and say Latinos won’t get their education
I am from being grateful that I have the chance to live another day
I am July I am from feeling as if my weight and height- even my looks- define who I am as a person But I am human
I am from a world where I feel like I have to fit in with others But I am unique
I am from the United States where folks think violence and harassment is okay But that is not okay
I am from waking up early to get ready so I won’t be judged for my appearance I am who I am
I am from Karina, my mother and Ernesto, my father
I am my two older sisters and one younger brother I am from a family of seven I am the love that is portrayed from one person to another
I am from the tears that many let out I am from the prayers for those who we loved that passed away I am the families of those in pain
I am from this ideal place we call “Earth” I am grateful for having a roof to live under I am from having all my necessities I am giving thanks to my parents for giving me food and clothes to wear
I am from living my best life day by day I am being grateful for the people I have I am from being myself and being self confident I am who I am—my ethnicity, race, age, and my appearance I am from the society we live in now I am the change that people want I am from loving who I am and where I come from This is who I am.
MORE OF ME
KIMBERLY S.
I am a Latina from Los Angeles from a community with gangs on the street but is not always full of violence
I am the park where children go to play and where teens go to talk and chill
I am the screams of children playing outside in the breeze, and the smell of blooming flowers
I am a golden chain hanging from a six year old’s neck from a childhood cart and a dusty old camera
I am the baby in the family
I am someone who does things her own way when people are confused who can procrastinate at times but works on accomplishing goals From a family gathering during special events
I am from, “Kimberly, be nice, don’t hit that with the broom” and,“Stop biting!”
From “Do-do-do-do-Dora, let’s go!”
I am pupusas and panes con pollo, eaten during special events I am a family picture with beautiful smiles but a few hurtful memories that sometimes come back
I am the person who can overcome any obstacle even though I’ve loved and I’ve lost even though heaven has gained a few more angels throughout my life
THE CULTURE OF MACIEL
BRIAN M.
I am from Latino Los Angeles
from my house that has mail coming out when you walk in where my family of five asks, “Want some huevos con chorizo?” with the light egg and spicy chorizo
I am from a house filled with the sounds of trumpets and the bass of La Banda El Recodo
from a very quiet place with awesome neighbors who, if you ask to borrow eggs from them they’ll give them to you
I am my computer that I break apart and rebuild, that I use for homework but balance it out with games
I am my PS3 that I spent all of my time with as a kid, and I don’t regret it because it was from my grandma and mom
I am my mom who makes cakes if we get A’s and B’s who says, “Never do a dumb thing, but if you do I will alway be there no matter what.”
I am the tamales rojos de puerco, with the soft masa and juicy meat, cooked for Christmas and the pozole rojo con mucho chile guajillo. The soup is so good, just thinking about it makes me hungry
From my family members and cousins having fun playing board games or Mario Kart on my birthday
I am the future computer engineer who will make my own computers I am going to college and making a lot of money from loving what I do and sharing it with my family I am big and handsome
I am all that I can be and more
THE REAL ME
ESMERALDA R.
I am from California and Mexico, where Latinos are created From Soto in Boyle Heights where you see a lot of people walking after coming home from work, and going to the market to buy food I am from Roosevelt High School, a well known school for its accomplishments when it comes to making sure students graduate and win in the game
I am someone who hears the lady scream, “tamales!” in the morning I am an American Girl doll with black hair from Spanish songs like corridos, bachata, zapateado Latin pop that you hear when you go to parties or turn the radio on the delicious tacos, burritos, tortas, y sopes de la esquina that are made with hot sauce
I am the type of Latina who defends herself from the community that tries to stop her from believing in herself and sometimes sees her as crazy
I am from a beautiful mom who works all the time and never gives up She comes home from work tired, yet still cleans the house, cooks for and stays up with her daughters She always gives good advice; likes to have fun; is always happy, positive, strong, and resilient
I am from a dad who works hard is always giving everything to his family; always positive, playing with his daughters after coming home tired from work, but has fun and never gives up
I am, “No te portes mal porque Santa Claus no te traerá juguetes esta Navidad”
“Portate bien o esa señora te va a llevar” From “Tienes el chamuco dentro de ti”
I am pozole and enchiladas
I am from big smiles and being happy I am from a Mexican family who is really crazy and makes delicious Mexican food
I am from going out with friends and texting them through social media
From going to the park to meet and socialize
I am from being in school, passing all my classes and talking I am the motivation, “Pass all your classes so we could be in the same class later on”
“Stay on topic and pass your quizzes.”
We are the type of people who don’t listen to what others tells us like when they told us soccer was a hard sport for girls to play We are from walking from school to our houses from playing sports after school and taking pictures all day
We are all from loud Mexican parents
We never give up and always find a way to get out of trouble
From, “Despacito”
I am Panda Express and enchiladas
I am from helping others and not being selfish, thinking about others and not only me
LA VIDA MÍA
MARISOL R.
I am Los Angeles and Mexican-American
From Boyle Heights where the smell of tacos starts at 7:00 PM
From Roosevelt High School where majority of Latinos go where there are Classic traditions of cheering crowds taking a knee for every fallen athlete red, white, and golden band uniforms that build my excitement as we play “Como La Flor” and hear the nice sound of flute
When you enter my lovely white house, you smell the caldo de pollo con arroz
I am from diademas that my grandma has always given me from those Barbies that you’d see in the toys section and your dad would say, “ya la tienes en la casa” when you were a little kid
I am a mother of this kid who is always asking for advice I am a proud father who tells their kids to never let someone make them think they are worthless
From playing La Loteria with family to enjoying la noche I am, “Niña, ven a hablar con tu abuela de Mexico” and, “Mija, ven a lavar los trastes”
From waking up in the morning to Vicente Fernandez singing, “ Grabé en la penca de un maguey tu nombre,” knowing that you are about to clean the entire house
I am those yummy tamales from Christmas and el pozole from New Years Eve that give an amazing smell to the house and los vecinos ask your mother what she’s cooking I am that moment on your birthday when you see all your family members together singing Las Mañanitas I am a proud Latina.
THE WORLD AND ME
ROBERT M.
I am a descendant of Los Angeles and Mexico from tacos city where my mom’s hot, handmade, soft tortillas are a tasty part of the tacos de lengua
I am chorizo and eggs where I can eat a burrito everyday When Natasha challenges me to eat the spicy salsa roja; “You ready?” “Yeah, I am ready.”
I am like a sponge absorbing good vibes and brightening my thoughts
I am the mariachi where guitars and trumpets play all night the song, Guadalajara
I am a high mountain that can see everything: the fireworks that light up the sky and I see the school, cars, sun, and the sky
I am a toy soldier from Star Wars and Galactica I fight for my family only
I am like my dad; unique, funny, and old-fashioned I am like my uncle; a joker, gamer, and resilient I am like my grandpa; smart, respectful, and thoughtful
I am unique from working class to a businessman I am smart and brave from AC/DC that rocks
where being crazy is fun
I am chorizo and eggs
I am big and handsome I am all that l can be and more
MY LIFE
EVELYN S.
I am Evelyn, Hispanic and from Boyle Heights. Where you see tagging on most walls, even on my garage. They look like messed up letters but if you’re from here you know it’s a gang symbol.
I am the oldest child and I have more responsibilities like cooking for myself and my two siblings when no one’s home. I am a happy person. I like making jokes out of every situation just to make others laugh. I am Legos from Disney and Universal. I am my mom and dad. My whole family says I look like my dad, with the same light brown eyes; but that I act like my mom, we have the same attitude. I am my sister’s twin who is my twin. Having a twin is like always having someone to be with. I make friends faster than my twin, I’m more humble and outgoing. I am, “Never give up’’ and, “Always try your best.” From “Summertime in the LBC”. I am homemade tacos and burritos that my family makes every weekend. They taste like lemon and spiciness- so they basically taste like a Mexican party in your mouth. I am from a loud and noisy family. I am feeling good. I am a very understanding person.
MY BEAUTIFUL, COLORFUL CITY ANGELA A.
I am Los Angeles
I am the Latino family from a diverse community
I am the sounds of traffic in the streets of Boyle Heights
I am the loud music you hear from next door from the kids playing outside, hearing them scream from excitement
I am the salsa dripping off my tacos and spicy tamales
I am the tasty chips that everyone loves to eat
I am the champurrado and hot chocolate everyone drinks with their families when it’s cold
I am from the fear of, “si no te duermes el cucuy te ve a llevar,” to, “si no dejas de llorar te voy a regalar”
I am from the old family pictures that hang from my walls to the traffic that everyone gets stuck in when they are on the freeway I am from the scary and funny stories we tell when we are bored
I am Angela
I am the girl who likes to listen to music, who loves to play the PlayStation
I am the girl who was told she can achieve anything through higher education
I am the girl who loves to play soccer and football
I am the Los Angeles that I grew up in, and the girl who likes to be me
THE SUNFLOWER THAT FOLLOWS THE SUNLIGHT’S ENERGY
LESLIE H.
I am Mexican-American
Birthed in the state of Arizona
I am raised in the low-income, strong, cultural, artsy community called Boyle Heights
I am a sunflower seed
I grow in the dirty contaminated, soil that sprouts in this place I call home: Boyle Heights
The one that sprouts her petals into the bright sun, growing and rising from the ground
I venture down a road with unforgettable sounds: teens screaming and laughing at their local high school Roosevelt
I am a person who you judge before you get to know her
I am someone you intentionally label as poor
I am not immature, dirty, or uneducated
Where I study and where I live does not define me. I define me
I am a cheerful kid
I am someone who thinks of others
I am like that character from “The Amazing World of Gumball”
I am Anais
I am an intelligent, compassionate, full of surprises, weird kid
I come from a playful, adventurous family, full of love
I am a daughter, a sister, a niece, and of course someone’s friend
I am always trying to help my family
I am always trying to cheer people up
I am that person who cares about their future
I am someone who wants the best, not only for herself but for her family
I am from a society whose eyes put us down I am an individual whose pressured over societal standards I am tired of being stereotyped by high class people, and by anyone
I lose control over my thoughts
It causes my brain to lose its stability and overwork itself I am done with everyone putting boundaries on people who want to be successful and change for the better I am willing to make a change for me as an individual and as a whole, with my community
With love and care, Leslie
H.
ME, MYSELF, AND I KALEY O.
I am from Los Angeles, California where it’s perfect in the relaxing places where I love to be alone From a calm neighborhood around my house
I am the fun roller coaster that has loops and spiral and likes to go incredibly fast When I go on a roller coaster I act kind of crazy because I’m enjoying myself and having fun.
I am the night that loves to see the stars brightly shine like someone who blooms with their beauty like my beautiful dog who is really special to me
I am someone who loves to have fun and explore places from Disneyland, the place that’s “The Happiest Place on Earth” where anything is possible to Santa Monica Beach where you can enjoy yourself feeling the breeze and smelling the ocean I would love to travel to other places like New York all the way to Fiji
I am my mom who’s a really nice and caring person to her family I am my nephew Mathew who likes to make older people laugh from one person to another
I am someone who never gives up I am a person who tries to achieve their goals and dream From, “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkson
I am like sushi, always wrapped around my parent’s embrace I am ravioli the smoothness of the pasta reflects my change into a teenager the ridges of the meat reflects my personality
I am nice, I entertain I am someone who loves to be myself I am Kaley O.
I PROMISE OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS WILL SEE THE SUNRISE
LA DREAMER
AURORA
Imagine moving to another country at fifteen years old; without your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother; not knowing when you will see them again. Imagine working everyday through the pain of missing your family and navigating a new language and education system.
Some people see Aurora and say, “Oh hey, there she goes, the girl from the swim team with a 4.3 GPA. She takes college courses and works at the 99 Cents Store. She must be very smart.’’ It seems like she does this effortlessly. What they don’t see are her sleepless nights working on her assignments, and the countless times she wishes for a hug from her dad or a, “te quiero,” from her mom.
While others know her as this overachieving girl, she understands the layers of oppression that characterizes her. She’s an immigrant woman of color from Boyle Heights. She came with nothing but the desperate desire for opportunity. Feeling like she can’t be herself because she’s afraid of being labeled as an outsider hasn’t prevented her from continuing to fight for a more equitable future. Some days she’s just tired. She’s tired of living under the idea that the only acceptable immigrant students are those with perfect academic records. She’s tired of feeling like she’s only worth it because of her academic achievements.
Aurora will be the first in her family to ever graduate high school and attend a four year university. When self-doubt arrives and she feels like giving up, she has to remind herself that she deserves all the opportunities that have been given to her. She belongs here. All her hard work has lead her to the University of California Berkeley. Being an example for her younger siblings has influenced her to overcome every obstacle that life has put in her way. She knows it’s not going to be easy but her mentality has changed and nothing will stop her.
Aurora believes in the power of example. She hopes to one day come back to Boyle Heights and give back to the community that received her with open arms. My main goal after graduating from college is to encourage
young people, especially people of color, to acquire a higher education. I believe in equal opportunities and think that it is something we can all achieve together. Education is something that can never be taken away. I want my actions to speak louder than my words. I hope to create an impact and inspire change. I am 100 percent confident that a higher education has a positive influence and will create an impact on those around me. I will benefit and empower my community through the power of example.
ESTO ES MI VIDA. THIS IS MY JOURNEY
ANDREW C.
“Don’t stop until you’re there. Don’t stop until you make it to the top.” This is the message I say to myself when I’m at baseball practice and feel as if my body can no longer endure what it’s going through. The pain in my legs after running, the soreness of my arm when I throw from 120 feet. But that doesn’t stop me from being dedicated to something I love. Thanks to my dad, Christian C., and my supportive family, I’m not going to stop for a long time. I want to shine until my heart stops.
While my family has been key in supporting my dreams, my Mexican identity has also shaped my goals in life. In our society people have a point of view that Mexicans like me are bad, lazy, and dirty people. All of the people who have this viewpoint are people of privileged groups. All of the things I have seen on the news and in the media have this certain viewpoint of us which has affected me. The people who have something to say are White privileged people. Those ideas let me know that some people don’t want to see us succeed or even have a chance at life. However, I don’t let these negative ideas affect me because I want to prove that a Mexican teen with goals isn’t going to let anyone stop him on his journey.
My dedication is what’s driven me to continue doing what I love ever since the age of four.
This helps me re-imagine my life because many people don’t suspect a Mexican boy to have goals or dedication. When my baseball team and I would go to Las Vegas or San Diego for baseball tournaments we would always play against White kids. They would just see us as Mexicans who didn’t know how to play the game. The parents of the kids would see us the exact same way; bad players just because of our ethnicity. I have never let something like that affect me or my dedication to the game. I have loved it ever since I picked up my first glove, ball, and bat. I know if I let something like that get to me, my dedication will start to fall apart. I do not want to let my family or my dad down. This makes me re-imagine my life because my dad has spent a lot of money on my baseball journey. I want to show him that I won’t stop because he sees my dedication. My ultimate goal is to play professional baseball in the MLB, I do not care which team I play for as long as I can say that I made it to where I want to be.
RECALL WHERE IT ALL STARTED ADRIAN
J.
Dear Future Adrian,
I want you to remember the moment we chose the path to attend college. We knew what we were signing up for, and we knew this path wouldn’t be easy. We knew this path would keep us awake for nights to get the work done, and if we failed we would be failing Mom and Dad. We knew we wouldn’t be able to afford paying the full ride. At any point our dreams could be taken away from us for having parents who were undocumented.
No one said we wouldn’t have classmates who would try to bring us down, only because they couldn’t be as great as us; or that we wouldn’t make mistakes along the way. But we knew that falling to our knees and crying from pain was not permitted. It was an obligation to stand up again, wipe our tears, and keep going. Keep going until the end, knowing that we stood up stronger than we were before. Learning to never give up on our dreams of becoming the first person in our family to graduate college: the same dream that Mom and Dad wanted for us.
We know Mom and Dad did everything to help us out, expecting only one thing in return from us– to be happy. They knew the price knowing they had to leave behind their parents, friends, jobs, and all the things they had worked for. They made it just for us so we can live happily. Never forget that Dad would do anything to help us out. He knew we wouldn’t have had the chance to have an education like here in the United States. He knew that if we were to go back, we would have to start working to maintain ourselves but he never forgot why he immigrated to the United States. He always put us above everything.
We knew that Mom always helped us out by being there every time we would get an award from school for doing well. During the two years that we were in SRLA, Mom was at the finish line of every race to hug us. I know for a fact, the reason why you didn’t give up on school was because Mom was there to support you in every step, just like she was there when we were taking our first steps as little kids. We knew she would always pray
for us. I don’t know if, by the time you’re reading this again, Mom is still with you, but I want you to remember the day you graduated from middle school she said to us, “It won’t matter if your Dad and I live off collecting bottles when we get old, but we will live happily seeing you living a good life.” I remember crying but I want us to use this as motivation to keep going. When we feel down and want to drop out of school, remember this quote and that Mom will always be on your side, even in the moments we can’t see her.
Hopefully we kept all those promises that we made to Mom, and we were the best role model we could have been for our siblings. We knew we would have to guide them and help them out so they could make it farther than we did, while never forgetting where we came from. Nunca olvides nuestros valores. Always be strong in our faith. Be proud of being Mexicano. Que nunca olvidemos el lenguaje con el que crecimos while singing along to songs by Bruno Mars, Ed Sheeran, and Luis Fonsi in the car.
Even though the person who has the title of our president doesn’t want us here, because in his eyes the only thing that we bring to America is violence. Never forget that he doesn’t know the reason why our parents came over; to give us a future they didn’t have. They were willing to put in the hard work to help us on a daily basis. I pray so hard that we don’t fall, that we stand strong and never give up on our dreams. Even though the numbers were against us to attend college, we made it through. I pray that we made the right decisions; the decisions that would help us get a well-paying job, that would make Mom proud, and make us the best brother in the world. But I guess I’ll have to wait until the time comes and see it with my own eyes. I am really confident everything went well for us because we had the best mother to guide us and teach us the best values that we could have received.
Sincerely, Yourself
NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR NAME
AARON M.
“Junior is a gifted person,” he hears it all the time. What the world expects of him, what the people closest to Junior expect is for him to be a symbol of his community. It’s hard. The community of people with bright futures only want the best of him, but he is the only one who really knows what it is he needs.
He needs to break out of the herd of youth who think they all want to make a difference by protesting and fighting in the world.
He tries to make his family proud by doing what he is asked, but to please them he sacrifices a bit of his own future, where he is living a life that he always dreamed of. A life where he gets to have his own job and live where he wants.
He is letting go of his own freedom.
He wants to be free from his expectations but the people don’t want him to be; they want him to work and live like everybody else. The people who work for the future make him act in ways that are supposed to show what the youth are made of, but Junior is not like everybody else. He is independent.
Junior tells people he wants to have his own future, where he loves who was meant to be, and cries when he wants to. They listen, yet his masters want him to do it their way.
He would do it his way but when he does they don’t understand his way of thinking.
Junior does things less organized and his family doesn’t like that. Being clumsy is in his nature and as bad as it sounds, he can’t help it. It worries them but as much as Junior cares about them, he cares just as much about his own future.
They don’t believe that. they think he is selfish even though they judge by the worst of him.
“Junior is a gifted person,” he gets it. People with talent, such as having a creative mind or having an inspirational voice, shouldn’t have to use it on something they don’t want to. It might be a waste of something good to cherish.
Junior may be stubborn, but that only means he is unashamed. No one should make his title perish. Nobody should have to change their name.
BEING YOURSELF IS WHAT’S BEST
MARIO C.
Dear You,
If you’re telling yourself, “Why am I even reading this? This is so boringOMG!” Well, let me tell you about my life-even though you didn’t askbecause life is a lesson. Trust me, I’ve been there, done that. Remember it was in middle school and you didn’t know what was happening. People didn’t exactly know you for who you wanted to be. After meeting new people at school you decided not to focus on graduation but instead on spending time with others, and having good relationships that helped distract you from fights, stressful tests, and- don’t forget- the one person you had your eyes on.
You didn’t pay attention in school and did not realize what you were there for. You really didn’t care at first, even when eighth grade came along. Second semester of eighth grade was not good. Your parents were receiving phone calls from teachers saying, “Su hijo no está poniendo atención en la clase. No está entregando la tarea. Por favor tenga una junta con los maestros.” Your parents told you, “Si no te pones las pilas, no te vas a graduar del ocho grado.” You didn’t think things through and it impacted you in a stressful way. You didn’t want to eat at home or do anything, especially not your chores.
The school year was ending and graduation was coming. Even though you were shook and feared punishment, your grades were getting better from staying after school with most of your teachers, but you realized you weren’t doing well in Math class. You knew you weren’t going to pass with the last few brain cells you had. So you gave up and didn’t graduate. You were really sad, seeing everyone walk across that stage without you. You felt disappointed when your mother told you, “Eso es lo que pasa cuando no pones atención.” You didn’t know that graduation would make her feel proud of you but things didn’t go as planned.
Summer! So happy (not really). You were mostly looking forward to high school. On the first day of school you were so happy, you actually wanted to
be a scholar. That same day everyone was blowing up your phone on Snapchat saying, “Where you at? We’re waiting for you. We have the same classes. Oh My God.” On the second day the P.E. teacher told you that you were going to take swimming for two straight months.
Do you remember your Ethnic Studies teacher? She was like your best friend because she was nice and cared about her students, including you, passing her class. She must have loved teaching because she did a great job. I know you miss her so much that you visit her almost once a week or probably more, who knows. She impacted you so much because she was the one person who really helped you focus by making you to go to her tutoring after school. Don’t let go or forget someone who loved and cared for you; always keep that person in your heart. Once you read this again you will probably be in college, reminding yourself that even though you didn’t do well in high school you still accomplished something: you made your parents and teachers proud.
WEEPING EARTH CRYSTAL G.
I am just a kid from East Los Angeles
Everyone says we don’t notice problems, but we’re the ones that handle them
We see what goes on but we’ve been quiet for so long
Our voices must be heard and we will be heard
We want justice for our Earth
Our Earth is dying and animals are becoming extinct
We need to take care of our home or else it will be gone in a blink
Our precious animals becoming extinct, just because of our greed
Killing animals for their fur?
What do you gain, other than them being gone in a blur?
Trees being cut down- what will help us breathe?
Our trees continue to get cut, the animals that live there die or leave
Why is no one helping?
Our Earth is weeping and yelping
This is not entirely our fate
But we must not be too late
People are starting to change
But do not perceive this as strange
Kids around the world are protesting for the better And I know we could succeed together
We will take action and survive
I promise, our future generations will see the sunrise.
DR. MENDOZA
VALERIA
M.
When some people walk in my Math class and observe me, they would think I’m quiet and shy. But if they walked into my house they would know I’m loud, fun, talkative, and not shy. Most people think girls can’t speak up, but I can if I really want to or need to. Even though I’m a Latina I am motivated and capable of being a strong woman. People may think that in Boyle Heights we can’t be anyone because it’s an impoverished area. But that pushed me to show my community that anything is possible no matter where you come from.
When I grow up I want to go to college to be a doctor. I want to be a pediatrician because I like little kids and I want to help them. I want to be a doctor so I can practice talking to people I don’t know like my patients. I have to associate with the little kids and their parents. When I get older and something is wrong with my family I would like to help them. Being a doctor can help me and my family because I will make a lot of money. If there are kids we won’t have to worry about taking them to the doctor, because I will be a doctor and they can come to me for help. My family won’t have to worry about money because I will make enough to feed my family, pay rent, and the bills.
GUERRERA
LIZETH M.
Being a shy person has been a part of me ever since I was a little girl. I remember receiving indirect bullying from my friends in first grade. They would pretend to like me but made fun of me for speaking Spanish when I wasn’t there. I was never able to defend myself because they were my only friends. I knew if I stood up to them they would stop being my friends and I would be alone. Ironically, I still felt alone even though I had many “friends.” No one was able to understand why I was so shy which made me hate myself for being different. I continued to pretend that I didn’t notice their comments.
I received negative reactions not only from my friends, but from my family as well. My parents, especially my dad, would get furious when I wouldn’t walk up to the paletero on my own to buy ice cream. Once my brother and sister came along, my parents would compare me to them because they could do things on their own that I couldn’t. “¿Por qué no puedes ser como ella? Tú eres más grande que él, ¿por qué no lo puedes hacer?”
These phrases followed me all throughout my childhood, and eventually they grew tired of yelling at me while I grew tired of being bullied by everyone around me for something I couldn’t easily control. This lead me to push myself even harder to speak to people in order to practice my social skills. Unfortunately my shyness still follows me to this day. If I go to the theater with my friend I’ll ask my friend to order the popcorn and the tickets for us. I can’t voluntarily talk to a stranger. I am only able to do it if I have no other choice. It feels embarrassing when I can’t do something so simple on my own. There have been numerous times when my friends push me to order on my own, and if I am feeling confident I’ll be able to do it. However, most of the time I have to tell them I can’t, over and over again until they give up and look at me with pity and disappointment. I feel disappointed and frustrated in myself, and begin to hate myself all over again for not being able to do this simple action that is done every day and every second by everyone around me.
Something that has helped me get through this is the thought of all the
new opportunities that are waiting for me. If I am able to join extracurriculars on my own, I will look more competitive when applying to college and they will know that I am no longer the shy person I was before. I know my parents would be extremely proud of me if I overcame this challenge and volunteered to be part of clubs where I could interact with new people. I know in the future, talking to strangers needs to come as something normal. I need to stop overthinking and get used to the fact that talking to new people will help me apply to jobs. As an adult I need to be independent, therefore, I need to learn how to do things on my own.
My older step-sister has become a role model for me. She used to be as shy as me. One of the reasons why we were not close is because we are both shy and never interacted with each other as little kids. When my dad came home with my sister he would encourage us to talk to each other since he rarely brought her to spend time with me. I was interested in getting to know her but she was a stranger and older than me, which was also very intimidating. Now that we’re both older she is easily able to strike up a conversation about how school is going and give me feedback on questions I have about college. She recently received her associate’s degree in Psychology, received many awards, and was invited to join the honor society at her school. Having been president for one year of a club called Latinas Unidas she learned to communicate with her peers and become more involved. Now she has a part-time job as a cashier at Old Navy where she has to interact with others daily. I aspire to be like her; I see her now and see no trace of her shyness. Instead of staring at each other from afar and avoiding conversation, she’ll ask me how school is going and encourages me to get a job like hers at Old Navy. My family and I have gone to visit her at her job and she easily communicates with her customers by helping them with what they need and by being well-mannered and polite. She’s constantly smiling and she’s able to project her voice so that her customers are able to hear her.
I know there are still many challenges waiting for me in the future that will help me grow out of my shyness. I plan to overcome this huge setback that has been stuck with me my whole life. I want to be the best version of me that there is.
HEAD IN THE CLOUDS ANGELA H.
I’ve learned to love the simple things in life
The things that people don’t give a second thought. Like driving
My dad in the driver’s seat, driving to the next house to work on in Calabasas, Simi Valley, or Moorpark
Wearing headphones, blasting songs that represent our disappointing generation who slowly but surely are speaking out
Lowering the window just a bit while we’re driving to the next location
I know we don’t have the best relationship but I appreciate these moments
There’s a hill on our hopefully, never ending drive that hill with a big smiley face, looking back at you smiling, and you smile back
One of the best moments is when it’s pitch dark- no sun coming up just yet but we’re up and awake watching the scenery that not everyone sees
I revolve around my friends how the Earth revolves around the Sun
I appear at night with my never ending thoughts but even if they are gone for the day they are still there
When I get tired and feel like I am almost a gone crescent, they are back
How Atlas holds up the Earth, my arms are burdened by the weight of countless thoughts
But my friends come. They hold me up. They nourish my soul
And I nourish theirs
I put their happiness before mine
And it’s worth it
I carry their weight on my shoulders, sinking me into the Earth
But they pull me back up to the clouds
Te prometo que voy a salir de la escuela y voy a tener un buen trabajo
Yo sé que unas veces se mira como si no quiero hacer nada y unas veces así es
Pero cuando todo se acaba te voy a hacer orgullosa
Le voy a echar ganas y cuando yo también soy más grande te voy a comprar una casa para que ya no sufran y no necesitan preocuparse si tienen dinero
Y no te preocupes cuando sea grande si voy a saber que voy hacer y le voy echar todo las ganas que tengo.
Te amo má.
Tu querida hija, your dreamer, and your Cygnus, Ange
UNTITLED
JANETH C.
Dear Future Self,
Tell me that all the hard work, sleepless nights, and early mornings paid off. Tell me that all the suffering that I’m going through now has a good outcome. Please tell me I’ve accomplished my dreams of graduating from a four year university, going on to become a lawyer or a doctor who helps people, and am making my family proud. I hope the dreams you’ve had ever since you were little, to have enough money and travel the world with your family, came alive. Please do not tell me I lost myself and let people change my perspective on what’s wrong or right. Please do not tell me I let people change my mind about what I wanted to be in life. Please do not tell me I let my family down. Do not tell me I proved society right when they said Latinos will never get anywhere, that instead I proved them wrong. Tell me that through all the mistakes I have made, I learned from them and was able to remain humble through them. With the mistakes that came after, I was able to grow from them.
Tell me that after everything my parents have done for me– waking up early and taking me to the bus; crossing the border so I could have a better life–was all worth it and I’ve made them proud. My family has always been supportive by making sure me and my siblings had everything we needed; school materials, clothes, our favorite foods like waffles and posole. Please tell me I took that support and was able to change people’s lives with it. That all the opportunities I saw, I took and now I am achieving. After everything my parents gave me, I was able to pay them back by taking them out of their minimum wage jobs, and getting them a new house in which they do not have to pay or worry about rent. I saw my parents suffer from not being able to pay rent to not having access to health services.
They went through a lot, having to work two jobs just so me and my siblings would have a better education and more opportunities in life to be what we desire. They had to work twice as hard as everyone else because they aren’t from here. Please tell me I was able to change Latino immigrants’ lives so that no other kid with immigrant parents had to go through not having
enough money for household essentials like a washer and dryer. Tell me I changed how society thinks about women and showed them that women don’t need a man to be successful; they can do it all by themselves. Women are just as good as men. Please tell me I’ve made a change for my community, where we made a home for the homeless, and had more gardens instead of old vacant lots where there is access to food for those in need.
Please tell me you are doing great things not only for you, but your family and the community. Make a great legacy out of our name and our story. Make our name remembered for our hard work and our humility. Show everyone that we did it. I hope we’re doing the best and that we’ve accomplished all our goals.
OVERCOMING MY SHYNESS ANDREA
R.
Most of my life it had been me, myself, and I. I was never a social person until I went to middle school and got into Leadership. I joined Leadership because I wanted to be able to socialize better with individuals, and I knew it would help me prepare for my future. Leadership taught me how to be brave and get out of my comfort zone.
In Leadership we had to do assemblies. The assemblies were to inform 6th, 7th, and 8th graders of the activities happening the following week. We had the audience play games so they could get involved during the assemblies. Leadership class helped me not feel nervous when doing a presentation. I learned techniques on how to conduct proper presentations like looking straight at the audience and speaking loudly and clearly.
I continue to improve my relationships with people. In the past I would not respond to people when they spoke to me. Now, if anyone asks me for help I help them. I am trying to be nicer towards everyone. My mom and nina (godmother) taught me to try and talk to people because this shyness I have will ruin my future opportunities. I shouldn’t be shy when I ask a teacher for help, otherwise, how would the teacher know if I need their assistance on a subject that I don’t understand?
I have increased my mental and emotional strength because I understand how to control my emotions in a healthy way. Don’t let all your anger and sadness out by punching the wall because all you are doing is making yourself suffer more. Instead, you should tell someone what is going on. Please don’t keep all your emotions in because there will be a time when you break down and it will be worse than it should have been. I am strong and I ignore my negativity and doubt. I can now enjoy my life instead of thinking of all my bad experiences.
I see myself as a future lawyer to encourage others to improve their weak points and believe in themselves. I want to be an example to others so they can see how a shy little girl managed to become a successful lawyer. The reason I want to be a lawyer is because I believe there are a lot of people
who are put into prison for not having proper representation. I want to help the innocent people get the equal rights they deserve. The legacy I want to leave for the future generation is to be an influence on the people who have the same struggles as me. The last advice I would give is that no matter how bad life might seem, sooner or later life will turn out to be great. Just don’t give up.
RECOGNITION
Thank you to this year’s volunteers who dedicated their time to supporting our students through each phase of their writing. The impact of your commitment resonates in the confidence our students embrace as published authors.
Adrian Barrientes
Anna Boudinot
Brooke Edwards
Debra Shrout
Debra Vilinsky
Isaac Weingart
James Liddell
Jenna Pittaway
Josephine Bloomfield
Judy Choi
Julia Guillen
Laramie Dennis
Michael Sokol
Nicole Zimmermann
Scott Feinerman
ABOUT 826LA | 826LA.ORG
TUTORING
From Monday to Thursday, students attend 826LA for free individual tutoring in all subjects. Once homework is completed, students read books from 826LA’s library and write stories based on a monthly theme. Students submit their writing for inclusion in chapbooks, which 826LA publishes throughout the year. To celebrate students’ hard work, 826LA unveils these chapbooks at book release parties, where students read their work to thunderous applause from their volunteers, families, and peers.
IN-SCHOOLS
Because not all students can come to us, 826LA brings specially trained volunteer tutors into under-resourced public schools. There, volunteers provide one-on-one or small group assistance with writing projects. 826LA works with teachers to craft all projects, which are designed to engage students while targeting curricular issues. In addition to visiting twenty schools in the Los Angeles Unified School District each year, 826LA has additional sites within Manual Arts High School (South Los Angeles) and Roosevelt High School (Boyle Heights), called The 826LA Writers’ Rooms.
WORKSHOPS
826LA’s workshops bring students together with artists, writers, and professionals for creative collaboration. Whether the subject is journalism or preparing for the zombie apocalypse, our workshops foster creativity while strengthening writing skills. This includes two long running workshops, our reading development workshop Barnacle’s Bookworms, and our Journalism workshop.
FIELD TRIPS
During the week, 826LA invites public school teachers and their students to our writing labs to participate in a morning of collaboration, creativity, and writing. Whether Storytelling & Bookmaking, Choose Your Own Adventure, Memoir, or Personal Statements, field trips at 826LA support teacher curriculum and student learning by offering a safe space for students to be their most imaginative and to work on their writing skills. In a few short hours, students brainstorm, write, edit their work, and leave with something tangible—a bound book or a revised essay—as well as a renewed confidence in their ability to tell their stories.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Jodie Evans, President
Henry V. Chase, Treasurer
Susan Ko, Secretary
Benjamin Au
Matthew Cherniss
Dave Eggers, Emeritus
Terena Thyne Eisner
Scott A. Ginsburg
Claire Hoffman
Susan Ko
Louis Lucido
Frankie Quintero
Eileen Shields
Sarah Rosenwald Varet
ADVISORY BOARD
J.J. Abrams
Judd Apatow
Miguel Arteta
Mac Barnett
Steve Barr
Joshuah Bearman
Amy Brooks
Father Greg Boyle, SJ
Stefan G. Bucher
Mark Flanagan
Ben Goldhirsh
Rebecca Goldman
Ellen Goldsmith-Vein
Spike Jonze
Miranda July
Catherine Keener
Keith Knight
Al Madrigal
STAFF
JOEL ARQUILLOS
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
MARISA URRUTIA GEDNEY
DIRECTOR OF IN-SCHOOLS PROGRAMS & COLLEGE ACCESS
SHAWN SILVER DIRECTOR OF ADVANCEMENT & EVENTS
BEATRIZ GARCIA SENIOR PROGRAMS MANAGER, MAR VISTA
LAUREN
HUMPHREY
INSTITUTIONAL GIVING MANAGER
CHERYL KLEIN DEVELOPMENT & COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER
Krystyn Madrigal
Katie McGrath
R. Scott Mitchell
Lani Monos
B.J. Novak
Miwa Okumura
Jane Patterson
Keri Putnam
Sophie Rabineau
Sonja Rasula
Luis J. Rodriguez
Terri Hernandez Rosales
Tara Roth
Brad Simpson
J. Ryan Stradal
Natalie Tran
Sarah Vowell
Sally Willcox
YOUTH ADVISORY BOARD
ECHO PARK
Alejandro R.
Andres M.
Gabriela M.
Gaby R.
Genessi
Jose R.
Natalie S.
Vince
MAR VISTA
Michael R.
Mirna R.
Nadia V.
Nasim Z.
Vanessa A.
MARIESA ARRAÑAGA
KUBASEK VOLUNTEER MANAGER
CARINNE MANGOLD
STORE MANAGER TIME TRAVEL MARTS
RACHEL MENDELSOHN DESIGN MANAGER
T SARMINA
PROGRAM MANAGER, WRITERS’ ROOM AT MANUAL ARTS HIGH SCHOOL
LATESHA ADOLPHUS
PROGRAM COORDINATOR, IN-SCHOOLS
RUSSEL ALTAMIRANO
PROGRAM COORDINATOR, WORKSHOPS IN MAR VISTA
ANGELICA BUTIU-CORONADO
PROGRAM COORDINATOR, WRITERS’ ROOM AT ROOSEVELT HIGH SCHOOL
MIKE DUNBAR
SENIOR PROGRAMS & OPERATIONS
COORDINATOR, FIELD TRIPS IN MAR VISTA
REBECCA ESCOTO
PROGRAM COORDINATOR, TUTORING IN MAR VISTA
PEDRO ESTRADA
PROGRAM COORDINATOR, TUTORING & WORKSHOPS IN ECHO PARK
