Nature Seems to be Running Just Fine by 826nyc

stories written by 11th and 12th graders at academy for young writers

NATURE SEEMS TO BE RUNNING JUST FINE stories written by 11th and 12th graders at academy for young writers

826NYC Books 372 Fifth Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11215 Nature Seems to be Running Just Fine ÂŠ 2020 by 826NYC and the authors. All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. First 826NYC edition 2020 Manufactured in the United States of Brooklyn 978-1-948644-56-3 The writing in this book was produced in 2019-20 school year at 826NYCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s In-schools Publishing Project at Academy for Young Writers. The classes were run by Maryann Aita with the support of Sean Mattio and Dave Weber. Designed by Jenna Stempel-Lobell Edited and proofread by Christopher Ahearn, Carly Schnitzler, Allison Singer, Lauren Stefaniak, Lala Jackson, and Shelby Solla. Printed by Bookmobile This program is supported, in part, by public funds from the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs in partnership with the City Council, The Jane Friedman Anspach Family Foundation, The Hawkins Project, The Minerva Foundation, The Resnick Family Foundation, The Rona Jaffe Foundation, and The Susan Stein Shiva Foundation. The following individuals have provided donations to support our programs: Aziz Ansari, Ray and Ami Carpenter, Sarah Connolly, Amir Mokari, Tammy Oler and Ehren Gresehover, David and Lori Schnadig, Jason Sinay, Alyson Stone, Maura Tierney, and Ted Wolff and Anne Clarke-Wolff. Additional support comes from the National Endowment for the Arts. To find out more about how National Endowment for the Arts grants impact individuals and communities, visit www.arts.gov.

826NYC is a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting students ages six to eighteen with their creative and expository writing skills and to helping teachers inspire their students to write. Our services are structured around our belief that great leaps in learning can happen with one-on-one attention and that strong writing skills are fundamental to future success.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

11TH GRADE Adam Mobley Jr. Chenicia Cummings Emmanuel Ward Iesa Mann Infinite Clovie Isaiah Kearse Kahleel Clark Kayla Davila Maira Zapata Phillip Davilar Rivaldo Griffiths Shaqua Hill Solia Connell Tajuddin McLaughlin Taylor Milligan Zaniah Garner

1 3 5 7 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 23 25 26 28

12TH GRADE Aaliyah Vidal Ahmai Chaney-Smith Ajanae Foster Alberto Rio Rodriguez Amber Rivera Anastaija Dejesus Angel Medina Brandon Prisco Chastity Rios Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;andre Stowe Dayja Brooks Deondre Burkett Dushawn Smith Faith Cummings Georgia Alexis Isaiah Foster Ishana Grant Isiaih Watkins Jaelah Jackson Juliana Bonilla Justin Decoteau Kamahri Hunter Kayla Williams Kelly Flores Hernandez Khadeejah Woods Kyra Ogarro Niya Hamiel Nyasia Logan

33 35 37 39 41 42 44 46 48 49 51 53 54 56 58 60 62 63 65 66 68 70 72 74 75 76 77 79

Ousman Barry Phillip Davilar River Figueroa Roemello Cummings Saâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;nique Jackson Sabine Francis Shania Ciego Skyla Thomas Tamia Johnson Tatiana Joseph Taya Dickinson Tevonne Cooper Tolani Adeyemi Tyriq Lieu Ken-Pen Valerie Mintz Xavier Person

80 82 83 85 88 90 92 94 96 99 101 103 104 106 108 110

Acknowledgments

111

A NOTE TO THE READER June 2020

Writing during uncertain times is never easyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but hearing the voices of young people during those times is incredibly necessary. At 826NYC, we believe in the power of creative writing: to help students write their paths forward, undefined by circumstance. In 2020, students at the Academy for Young Writers faced many challenges: moving to online learning; not being able to connect with friends, family, or teachers; shifting graduations to a webcam and livestream. These circumstances were difficult, but their teachers encouraged them to share their thoughts, fears, and hopes, and these young writers rose to the occasion. These are their stories. Some of this found work are just glimpses into the writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; minds. Others are larger narratives, examining what dystopia means to them. Many are stream-of-consciousness ideas and feelings. Soliloquies that speak to being at the cusp

of adulthood. Stories with narrators that range from feeling helpless to hopeful. Nature Seems to be Running Just Fine is a response to a moment in time. We look forward to reading more from these young authors as they continue to use writing to process the present and to imagine a brighter future.

11TH GRADE

HOPE IS THE CONSTANT By Adam Mobley Jr

Black, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the color I see the most. From the fires that constantly ripped through buildings, the smell of things being burned ranges from wood and plastic to materials used to make the buildings we used to live in. People. They protest the government 24/7. The yelling and sounds of breaking glass are constant. The occasional person gets a gun off of an officer and rings off a few in the air to start an uproar in the cluttered streets. The protests are happening because they want us to work for low wages and make statues in their honor. They want us to give up our children to be trained to patrol the streets and for an army to conquer other cities, states and countries. They are the government. Three men who fought their way to the top and now are neglecting their power. It started as an equal rights movement and they were the leaders and now they are leading us against one another. People on the streets get together for protesting even then, you could never be too close. We argue and fight. We steal 1

from one another. We hurt each other. All while fighting under the same cause. I look outside at the building being burned during the riots. I want to riot, but I can’t. I don’t have the heart to look an officer in the face and tell them no. Especially when they could vaporize me in an instant. If you turn around the people turn on you. Factions take to the streets after buildings burn to claim it. Officers watch as we stab each other in the back. They don’t care as long as we don’t get close to or pass the barrier separating our government from the people. The officers try to recruit kids since many aren’t being given up and some of them don’t even make it back with what would’ve been their replacement. It’s crazy out here. The debris that lays around after the occasional bombing when there is a scarce amount of fires. I watch everything. I don’t react, I just watch. I watch as we fight to not become servants for our government. Instead we are their entertainment. They watch us through CCTV footage and read about us in notes made by officers. No matter how many protests turn into riots and buildings burn nothing changes, and it won’t until we work together but we can’t. The factions, religions and withdrawn can’t get together. It’s all a competition. If we the people win, what will happen? No one knows but deep down they hope. That’s all the people have is hope. Hope in a gloomy, dark, crippling society. Hope is the constant in this society full of variables. Yea, it’s hope and I am hopeful as I watch another fire roar through a building.

SAVING COLOR by Chenicia Cummings

It was always dark here and you always had to have the lights out by a certain time. We all lived in the same houses with the same gray paint on them as well as the same size and model. Everything was literally a carbon copy of each other in this neighborhood. The only color outside had was the trees and maybe some f lowers if you could get them to grow. There were no particular smells here and it was always quiet. To put it simply it was just plain boring with no color or anything fun in sight. Everything was the same. It was as though we were all the same people doing the same thing every day. I wish things could go back to the way they were when you were allowed to be yourself instead of following all these rules. I have seen many try to be different and the outcome is always the same. You either die or go to prison and it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem worth the risk. Inside your home is the only place you get a little bit of freedom. One day however I will 3

have enough strength to be who I truly am until then I will suffer in silence and so will the others around me. One day, however, this changes. A new girl named Violet comes to town and is determined to change the dullness and darkness that the town before her reeks of. Normally people like Violet are taken care of quickly but this was not the case this time. Violet wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like the others; she was more smart and cunning. She was very particular about her plans and was determined to fix this little town even if it kills her. I met Violet at school and was somewhat happy that she wanted to add more color to this gray town. I did, however, warn her that doing so would not be an easy task. We soon discovered that not all the houses in town were painted gray, however the ones with color in them were in a restricted area. For the first time in a long time I laid my eyes on color. I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t believe that it still existed. From that day on I was determined to join Violet on her journey on making this town colorful again.

DIFFERENT by Emmanuel Ward

All the sounds of people are gone. Nature seems to be running just fine. It actually looks beautiful outside but it’s unnerving because of the lack of people and sound that normally comes from a loud city environment. I don’t miss tastes much because I’ve been eating pretty often. I would say that it smells pretty much the same. The most unnerving part about all of this like I’ve mentioned before is the lack of sounds. It’s almost like people outside my house have gone extinct. What’s more unsettling is that every time I do hear a sound, it’s just ambulance noises. It seems almost like the grim reaper. It’s really unsettling. It makes things feel eerier when the only sound you hear is one associated with danger. It’s like waking up one day and realizing everyone is gone; except they aren’t and, in reality, everyone is just overcome with fear because something they don’t understand is threatening their average routine of everyday life. 5

I feel like all of this makes it feel like the world really is ending. The fear of the people and the paranoia of the uneducated play a huge part in this whole thing. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s basic human nature to be afraid of something you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t comprehend. Unfortunately, most of our society is made up of people who listen to what the media spoon-feeds them. Or people who reject help from those with knowledge. Everyone just seems complacent with our current state of life and it bothers me that it just seems like the world is ending. Everyone is just waiting for the next problem in this world and it is truly disturbing that people are ok with this.

THE SLEEPING APPLE by Iesa Mann

Sirens, crying, the news talking about people dying, all these built up assignments, I’m thinking like I’ll soon stop trying. All these sounds but the city is still silent. It’s like we are all stuck in a cage underwater but only a selected few are drowning. But I hear these sirens thinking they’re gonna help pull us outta here but hey, they’re just happy they aren’t inside next to dying people. Wait, what do I hear, it’s the civilians on the surface. I hope they’re not breaking rules making us lose hope. Groups and groups are keeping it away. We need this key to get out of this cage but the government is just gonna keep it away.

MESSIAH by Infinite Clovie

A place with sunny skies that block the darkness from space, a place of love everywhere and filtered information, a place where things always seem to improve but never really do, a place where children of all colors, shapes, and sizes play but only one set of parents sit at home and pray. In this place there is a man named Messiah who sees what others refuse to see. Messiah knows the truth like many others do but he is not afraid to speak up. Messiah knows that people like him are being targeted and he feels that he needs to do something. Messiah is a man with values, a man with respect for others, and most importantly a man with morals. Messiah is not afraid of those who want to destroy his image and kill him because he believes there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Messiah is a part of a group of people labeled by society and called the darkened ones. The darkened ones are a group of people that are born with darker skin color than the majority of society. The darker ones make up 85% of the 8

world’s population but because of what everyone is taught by the world government they think they only make up 3% of the world’s population. This misinformation leads the darker ones to believe they are powerless and is the main reason why the other colors attack them and face no consequences. One day Messiah was walking to the store in his hometown of Florence, South Carolina, when a couple of kids around his age began to follow and throw rocks at him. Messiah turned around only to realize that the kids who were throwing rocks at him and laughing were white. This angered him but he had to remember what his mother always told him: “If they try to harm you, run, do not engage with them because if you are caught by one of them they might take you away and there is nothing anyone can do about it.” Messiah remembered these words but he was angry and tired of being picked on by the other colors so he turned around and ran up to one of the boys and sucker punched him as hard as he could. The kid that Messiah hit fell on the ground and was not moving. The other colors the kid was with ran away screaming for help and Messiah took off running in the other direction with a huge smile on his face. This is when Messiah knew he wasn’t powerless after all.

JUST KEEP SMILING by Isaiah Kearse

Bright. Bright colors, bright people, bright skies, bright smiles. Happy music, fragrant food all around. It’s all fake. I know this. So do they, but we can’t change it. They’re watching. It’s been like this for years now. It’s painful, but we can’t stop, ever. We have no choice. We have our jobs, and everyone does theirs. It works. That’s good, right? The smiles of others are supposed to make you smile, right? They’re supposed to be infectious. Well, they are, but the smiles you see nowadays are more . . . malignant. They no longer signify happiness, but tension. I keep my smile on while in public in fear of being singled out . . . but in these moments of privacy, when I’m home, away from the windows, I can drop it without fear. None dare to drop their smiles in public, for fear of being seen by them . . . the wardens. It was an idea introduced by the world leaders after World War III wiped out 70% of the population. Smiling, government-enforced smiling. Government-enforced happiness. If everyone is happy, 10

there’s no reason for wars. Everyone is given what they need, and everyone works for the advancement of humankind, no payment required. Those who drop their smile, who refuse to ignore their selfishness and drop their smile . . . well, we don’t know what happens to them. But as long as you cooperate, you’ll be fine. And don’t stop smiling. I have to hide this now . . . I fear what my family may do if they find this journal of mine . . . -Isaiah

THE COASTMEN by Kahleel Clark

Since 1600, the coastmen have caused death in many different ways, like plagues and murder. In 1600, the coastmen created slavery to build their own countries. They dragged people from their homes in other countries because their own wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work as hard. Ever since then, the Eyes (people dragged from homes) have been beaten, killed and disrespected. In the year of 2365, marking nearly 800 years of enslavement, the Eyes were emancipated, but they had nowhere to go so they just stayed in the country they were enslaved. Now, they are trying to build a life with barely any rights. The new year is what the coastmen call it 3005. It is a new age; they left back all of their barbaric rules, policies and groups except that the government is run by the same people who first enslaved the Eyes; they were the Zinns. The Eyes got their name from their country being filled with people who watch things but never do anything. 12

Coastmen got their name from the place they come from, which is the Gold Coast. Ever since then, they have been in a silent war. The coastmen have been systematically trying to get rid of the Eyes but tensions have been f laring ever since the summer where an Eye was wrongfully killed by the so-called Boys in Red. The government is set up and run by the rich and is immensely corrupt. The government is extremely intelligent; they keep things hidden from the people so fear won’t destroy their society. They are also corrupt when it comes to equality. The country is somehow one-sided even after all it’s been through. The country is more lenient when it comes to coastmen because the country is run by coastmen. The government won’t admit the wrongs their country has done to people, especially the Eyes.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF CORONAVIRUS by Kayla Davila

No barber shops or

People have to stay 6 ft.

hair salons or nail salons

from each other.

are open due to the coronavirus.

Everyone has to wear masks

Everything stands out to

at all times especially in supermarkets

me especially the lack of

If you didn’t have one, you couldn’t go in. people on the streets.

I feel like as of right now, we are living in a dystopian future because basically people have a fear of the outside world because of the coronavirus. People are suffering because they can’t go outside or they are suffering from the virus.

There is absolutely no type of freedom

You can’t travel to other

because either you stay home or you

countries or states and if

risk your life by going outside.

want to come back into

the U.S. you can’t.

One thing I would like to talk about is social distancing because literally no one is following it. They feel as if just because you wear masks, you can’t get the coronavirus. You still can and people fail to realize that. So many people can’t wait to go outside, but yet they are outside not social distancing and they are the reason why the governor keeps extending the shutdown for us to stay in the house.

NO SOUND by Maira Zapata

New York City, or should we say what’s left of New York City these past few months, our empire, our city, has gone through some tough times. Every day more and more it becomes more of a dystopian society. From viruses, economic problems, quarantine, scarce food, and daily needs products important to our living. The streets of New York are empty, like they said before, it looks like the “apocalypse.” People are staying home from the fear that’s being put out here and for the fear of turning into one of them. This changes our society and our city, making us completely isolated, scared, bored, and anxious. The city doesn’t have a sound anymore, it has lost its passion. I miss the taste of freedom, I miss the taste of summer, I smell sickness circulating around me spreading like the wind, lights turning on and off not knowing when we would see the light. Some suffer, some just walking, some just realizing it is too late to go back on time. All I hear is this loud noise 16

that won’t stop coming by, when I look at it I worry and I question but when I don’t, I think there’s hope. I hate that noise, but it comforts me too, it makes me cringe. It also is annoying like banging two pots against each other or matter fact scrubbing them, but that’s New York City. I wonder when it is going to be over. Is this going to change our future completely? Sometimes I feel like we might have a chance to get things back on track or think, “Would it get worse?” It all depends on us or it all depends on our government. What are we to them and why are things happening now? Is this a signal or is this a set up for us to be deceived by them or for them to emulate another plan toward us?

CHANGING CITY by Phillip Davilar

In my opinion, I feel the city sounds much different. There’s a bland taste to things now and the energy obviously isn’t there anymore. Some tastes I miss are ice cream and, of course, several restaurants that are now temporarily closed. The air is better because not so many cars are polluting the air with gas anymore, but overall I feel it’s better this way.

[PICTURE NOT FOUND]

This is a visual of how NYC train stations look when it is off lockdown or if no coronavirus was in the air at all. 18

[PICTURE NOT FOUND]

This is a visualization of the effects of â&#x20AC;&#x153;social distancingâ&#x20AC;? on a train that usually gets packed still even due to coronavirus.

I feel like during this time people have gotten closer to family and even closer to people they least appreciate. I understand the negative situation going on, but the way it is now is best. This keeps everybody safe and has everyone keeping distance from strangers as well.

THOUGHTS by Rivaldo Griffiths

Miss how it used to be—touching, hugging and chasing down these beautiful girls. Like I can’t even play basketball—I CAN’T PLAY BASKETBALL. We’re living in a time of separation, not because we want to—god knows I don’t—but we have to do it for our own health. This city isn’t how it used to be. We are the city that never sleeps, but I guess we are all sleeping now, aren’t we? I can’t go out to eat, lucky I have some A.1. sauce in my house. Sorry to the ones whose parents can’t cook. But is this crisis a good thing? It’s showing the f laws in our government healthcare and we ain’t polluting the earth, with much fresher air. On a coast, sun shining and the wind slowly going against the ocean water, relaxed with breeze blowing against your body.

State of mind relaxed, happy not really thinking or worrying about anything. The physical space: Silent, empty, rotten. Abandoned, rusted, old, dangerous. The world is a dog eat dog world or get killed, fear runs the city, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not safe to be alone, have to be a part of a pack to feel and stay safe. A way out, a place with no disease, a safer place thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s organized, where you have a family and work, go for a late night jog, a lawful place.

DYSTOPIAN FUTURE By Shaqua Hill

Everything is closed More peaceful Quiet Boring Empty Favorite restaurants being closed Less communication Social distancing

PANDEMIC by Solia Connell

A couple of high school seniors go away on their last trip for the summer before they start college. They go to New York and adventure out. Three months later they return home to Hawaii, only to be greeted with a pandemic caused by a deadly virus. The government is the one who sprung this awareness upon us. They’re the ones who made the laws and keep us informed with fear that—some way, somehow—this Pandemic will end, they just don’t have a date yet. They control where we are able to go and how long we are able to spend a day. The laws were made to help everyone stay safe and not get infected by the virus. The laws help everything run smoothly and even then, there was only a short time period that citizens had to learn and obey these rules. Those who refuse 23

to follow suffer more than the pandemic itself has made us suffer. 1. Six feet distance at ALL TIMES. 2. Essential jobs are to be open and active to the community until told otherwise. 3. Schools and other spaces with large gatherings are closed until further notice. 4. MASK and GLOVES are to be worn at all times. 5. All residents are to be home or indoors at 8pm every night. Everyone has to wear their mask to protect them from the virus. And due to the pandemic, there is a shortage of food supply. Because of the pandemic, no large groups are allowed which caused schools and other educational spaces to be closed and students are doing remote learning virtual communication.

THE GIRL I NEVER HAD by Tajuddin McLaughlin

I am blessed, all is well, something I find myself saying to remain positive and optimistic about what could come after the constant pain, heartbreak, lust, and failure I’ve experienced in my youth, still young although it feels like a lifetime ago I was that kid in the classroom sitting behind the most beautiful lifeform any god or creator could ever put in my life yet you weren’t in it. Let’s take a trip back in time. Like the first diamond put into the jewelry store I didn’t have what it took to get.

SIRENS by Taylor Milligan

CHANGES: -- The city is much more calmer and the streets are empty -- The air is much fresher -- Violence has decreased a little -- People are losing their jobs -- The weather has been changing IMAGES: -- loneliness -- Ambulances During this time, loneliness is my image because that is how I feel from being away from outside activities. The reason I said ambulances is because thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all you hear now that people are being infected and getting sick.

MY THOUGHTS: We are currently living in a world right now where there is a big wall from where we live to where we wanna go. The society is trapped and that causes more problems. I am currently thinking that this might be our permanent life for the rest of this year. Is the situation that we are in now a way to kill off society? Or is this a sign that we all need to step up as not only a society, but help the government get in the right state of mind? I take this emptiness that we are currently seeing in the streets as motivation to learn new stuff and to invest in yourself. So the loneliness that we are all facing is a blessing in disguise to learn more about yourself, and as for the ambulance sounds that are going off every five minutes, that is a message to us that we must continue to follow directions so we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t end up in an ambulance.

TIMES SQUARE by Zaniah Garner

This is Times Square during COVID-19 and it shows the way this pandemic has took a toll on our community. We are so used to being lively and being able to go outside and have fun, however due to the circumstances we are in, we are forced to be limited to certain things we can do. Times Square is what makes New York and it doesn’t even seem real that we have to go through this. Going outside and seeing everyone be cautious and having to wear a mask is sometimes scary as you never know what you can contract. Nobody can spend time with their families and it has caused a disconnection in our life, as you must stay away from a certain amount of people. The city does sound different. You don’t really hear cars outside and when you do there’s barely any cars. It’s sad seeing how empty busy blocks used to be and shows us how this crisis has put us in a stance where we have no choice but to react this way. 28

I miss going to the movies and tasting buttery popcorn and a cold slushy drink. I miss going on dates with my boyfriend and hearing the commotion of the cars in the city. I miss seeing people sell stuff to you outside and trying to convince you to buy what they have to offer. I miss the busy city and having to swerve fast moving cars. I miss the original NYC we are all used to. I miss going to try different foods with my friends and going on dates to different cultural restaurants. It smells better than usual, as there are not many factories and stores running polluting the air. I feel like this is a good and bad thing as we can get the city back healthy before we allow more people to contract this virus. The city will never be back to normal, there will be many changes such as school systems and I believe it will allow us to stay away from many people at a time. There wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be many places you can go and you must do certain procedures before you actually go.Things will never be the same and it makes me sad because Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m still young and canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do everything I want to do because corona has caused everyone to go into panic and has been one of the biggest spreads in such a small amount of time.

12TH GRADE

A DREAM, A CALLING, OR HAPPINESS? by Aaliyah Vidal

To be or not to be that is the question Is it my future to indulge in the arts of study or sacrifice my body for the greater good, that is the question Oh, how my heart has yearned for independence which college could have bestowed upon me Though my conscience tells me otherwise Sacrificing my pockets just to provide unknown education is a foolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s errand Knowledge is something even a small child could grasp for I yearn for power I yearn for power, I yearn for power, I refute weakness 33

Though my colleagues around me are rejoicing over college it reminds me of my dying dream OH, DAMN IT ALL FOR MAKING ME QUESTION MY CHOICES Let my mind be at peace and let my heart be accepting of my woeful thoughts Perhaps a dream I once called a dream has been overrun by a potential calling? Unless this is my heart making me speak damn nonsense ALL I WISH FOR IS PEACE, PEACE I SAY I desire a life I will f lourish in and a me I’m truly proud of That is all I ask, dammit For now I will sit in my world until I’ve found my true calling But I pray that my decision will give me happiness

A BOY AND A GIRL by Ahmai Chaney-Smith

Preface Whether it is to be or not to be, the latter of which I lived with, I do not know where I was at the time of my discovery. I do know that my decision was reached after much deliberation, nothing like the first shot that a trained sniper takes when their enemy is in clear view on the battlefield and visibly unguarded. While my initial reasons for pursuing such matters included admiration, after sometime this turned into an overt fondness that was only mutual brief ly, as brief as a candle light on the day of celebration and shortly after put out by the receiver of everyone’s attention. The girl was water. I viewed her as a necessity, Both mind and vision blinded-cecity. But how can a person be water? “You won’t find anyone like her,” 35

I told my friend. What I had seen was simply a unique blend The past is a blur to me because I am a changed beat— Though in the past, to my mind, I defer. Sure like a deferential plant she might have been kind. I say deferential because as I type, the plant in my backyard covers an area of grass con shade that I could relax in; I say might because that same shade blocks the grass from the sun. Too many calls, so my time declined. Too many calls declined, so I resigned. I moved on to someone. Without that I wouldn’t have made this rhyme.

Random Thought It is too obscure, Night’s breakfast not dinner. Wow I did not peep, Could drink milk after then asleep. Still, I love morning eggs.

SOCIAL DISTANCE SOLILOQUY by Ajanae Foster

To be or not to be that is the question. Whether it is nobler to stay at home and be alone Or to go outside and be with your friends. Just as I wander desperate like a sad puppy. I think to myself, “Am I really going to stay in this house forever and just be as sad and low as XXX?” I suffer the slings and arrows of this battle of freedom. But I never let it stop me. For it to be known that I’m able to make my own decisions. ‘Tis the communication to be wished Aye, there’s the rub! I try my best to have a social life and continue with great effort in communicating with friends and family. My social life is very important to me and I need to be able to express myself 37

the best that I can. Or my life would be â&#x20AC;&#x153;cold ice coldâ&#x20AC;? as what Drake would say. Being in this house causes deep sadness more than ever.

FIND THE RIGHT PATH by Alberto Rio Rodriguez

To Be or To Not Be is the question. I’ve thought about whether to give up or keep trying, But sometimes there are other options that you couldn’t come close to imagine Having the need to have faith or hate, is such a hard decision. When you believe, the impossible becomes possible College is almost there for me, but stressing about other things isn’t gonna get me there. I have to keep working hard for the things I want Losing my motivation, is like giving up on myself and others too. It is always good to have a great mindset But sometimes it could also lead you to the wrong path That’s why I’m gonna keep moving forward, until I find the right path 39

Like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve said before and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll say it again, Patience is the key to success.

SOLILOQUY by Amber Rivera

To be or not to be that is the question The very least of thoughts that are left in thee tiny penny Whether its my conscience or the sins of the henny I can’t get out the first glance of your impression We find ourselves in a dismal place that is essential Like the suffering and trials of the Tudors But is it really that important to be potential In this world, I’ll walk out that door Why is it hard to do the wrong instead of the right Thus conscience does make cowards of us all Concluding that I won’t lose my sight Farewell my savior, for I have to take the fall

NEW YORK OR NEW LIFE by Anastaija Dejesus

To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether it is nobler to live in New York or f ly down south and start a new life In this house feeling hot and annoyed, what is the best decision for me to lie to rest with? Will I be as successful as Jay and B Or like Justin Bieber and Selena? Down south is so much dedication but New York is so much motivation Which of the two will help me win instead of lose? ‘‘Lord, we know what we are, but know not what we may be.’’ Nevertheless I shall try my best somewhere that fits me like a muscle man’s vest 42

Although New York rings with opportunity, it also f loods with high prices Just living is a price of debt Down south might be affordable, with much more space, but it is also where many natural disasters tend to take place New York is where my family stays but down south has better days Thinking of this might drive me mad but in the end all I want is to be glad I think Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made a decision, somewhere along the lines of staying or going Never settles with me but if my family wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go then I must stay Covid killed too many, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be damned if I go far away without creating more memories, since those are the only things that actually stay. May God be proud of all the decisions I make After all, every decision I make is a blessing in disguise that I shall take. 43

SLUMBER by Angel Medina

I lay here under my large blanket opening my eyes from the dark to stare at the clear white ceiling. My body wanting to sink back into the bed and dream for a while longer. The breeze brushing through the window onto my forehead sticking out from the blanket. If I stay in bed a little longer, I can get back the sleep I missed last night, but if I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do my homework, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll fail and never graduate. The bed is my comfort, my safezone. I want to be the human armadillo hiding in its shell. Do I want to face the sins and labor of the real world or escape into Wonderland? 44

Slumber is a necessity for the body, but education is preparing for life. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always later in the day or tomorrow to complete my duty. My bed calls me to her, begs me to stay with her. Ultimately our amazing night together must come to an end. There will always be tonight and the next. I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be lazy, my future depends on it.

ENJOY YOUR YOUTH by Brandon Prisco

All my life I have been living with my parents but everything just seems different. I remember the smell of bacon going through the house when I was younger and eating it with no problem at all, but as I get older every day even my taste for things is different. Everything is moving so fast sometimes I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hold on to the moments I feel are most important to me. I guess this is what a new chapter in life feels like as a young man into an adult. As much as my inner child wants to stay home with my parents, I must keep pushing and get my own place of living, show them I can hold myself on my own. 46

I miss being a kid. There was so much I was able to do with no worries, life was great but I wished I would have listened when my parents said enjoy your youth while you can because the real world can get rough. Truth be told they were right. I am currently making the hardest decisions in my life. Do I want to stay in my parents home and be their little baby forever? Or do I go on into the real world as a man and start handling things on my own? Like a real man supposed to. As a young man involved into adulthood I finally made my decisions during this fall. I am going off to college on my own and I am making my own living. I am thankful for all my life lessons to be where I am now. I am finally making everyone proud.

SOLILOQUY by Chastity Rios

To be or not to be, that is the question. Toying with the barrier between life and death Fear arouses, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m left with my decision. Should I be or not be? Love suppresses fear or so they say, decisions, decisions To wash the pain away. I was always told I make the worst decisions, One wrong move and I am no more. But what if this is my best decision yet? I contemplate on the hard wooden f loor. Then I was graced with a thought, no, a miracle, no, a blessing Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll stay, I accede Because my dog will miss me.

SOLILOQUY by D’andre Stowe

To be or not to be that is the question. Whether I should sleep a little longer and feel like refreshed, Or should I listen to Kanye West and get up and start my online classes. Is it worth my energy? Will I feel accomplished when I am done? Or is it just bull**** and time wasting. I’ve been doing this for almost my Whole life & I feel the same, What or Where is this feeling? Or does it Just arrive when I am complete I need to know why exactly should I leave This comfortable space I linger in for only 6 hours and lose this good feeling Just so I can get on this stinking laptop and repeat something I wouldn’t need 49

When this “school” phase is over. Maybe just maybe it will come in handy someday I hope at least because what’s the purpose then? Just so I can make my family and Friends happy? To show others that I can do whatever I put my mind to? To receive A piece of paper and not walk this stupid stage I’ve waited all my life to? Well if these Are the reasons why I should wake up . . . I guess I need to wake up extra early so I can Get to it :) .

MORNINGS by Dayja Brooks

To be or not to be? That is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler to wake up and make thy mother coffee, Or to stay in bed longer. Suffer the claws and heat of the foul mouth beast that awakens. Words feeling sharp as if spears have gone straight through my heart, So while I can be laying in heaven feeling clouds under me As I sleep through the chaos roaring around me. Agony pouring out from the bottle I contain in my heart. Leaving nothing but a bliss and whimsical feeling. But alas, I feel the beast’s presence in my heaven as it turns into hell. My clouds turn into fire from thy wrath Aye, this is a tragedy I do not wish to embark on again. A beast must not rage war but be tamed and treated as delicate as a woman’s heart. So I will make thy coffee as the beast slumbers, 51

When awakened hell will not be under us but paradise will be in front of us. Only caffeine will tame the beast.

COLLEGE SOLILOQUY by Deondre Burkett

To college or not to college That is the question I would not wish to go to college because I would like to rest Relax and eat hot ramen To sleep and feel the soft pillow on my cheek. To sleep and never be woke Ahh there’s the rub, to never see something different It’s like staying asleep for your whole life. There’s a whole world of reality that I have yet to experience So much life that there’s left to see Ohh but I have to study again with boring teachers and Consume my time like rats in a sewer. Now it is time to crawl out the manhole covers and learn Like a colony of rats Learn to avoid cats

ACHIEVEMENTS by Dushawn Smith

Every day I sit here thinking about one thing. Why am I wasting my valuable time with you people of AFYW, is it even worth it? I know it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, I know personally that hours on this laptop to get that diploma means and does nothing for me except distract me from my own personal achievements. Every day sitting on the couch, reading pointless documents, writing stupid essays, and, no offense Dave, but sending in those Hamlet clips. Just stuck inside watching my mother leave for work and come back to see me in the same place as earlier just with a migraine. Feeling anxiety hearing her keys open the door because the school has brainwashed her into thinking this actually is important or beneficial in any kind of way. Random men calling her to alert her about my attendance like they can actually give me a late pass at the moment. The joke is that the easiest classes in school are now the hardest on the laptop and the annoying teachers find new 54

ways to be more annoying. Farhana and Lindsey just won’t stop with the pointless assignments like they’re forcing us to not do anything useful with our time. What if I just fail? What if I focus completely on my business because regardless of what a paper with my name on it says at the end of all this it wouldn’t just give me good fortune. Or what if I’m the only one thinking the right way, everybody struggling for nothing right would soon see the vision and standpoint I have on school. I wasted 12 long years for that piece of paper and now you people are talking about sending it to me through email . . . Keep mine or it’ll go straight to Spam. After all this is over just tell me “Good job” and send me on my way. The only reason I still do this work is so y’all stop calling and complaining to my Mom and Dad. It makes everyone look down on me and try to question my ambition. It’s sad because once my life is great I won’t have to care to uplift any of those useless scholars. I just pray everyone’s diploma doesn’t let them down when we achieve it . . . At least that’s how you adults talk about it.

MY SOLILOQUY by Faith Cummings

the metal fan blows steadfastly in the corner of my room, creating a white noise to drown out the morbid thoughts in my head about whether to hang on to life’s thread the need to live and experience the fruits of life combat the need to be rid of this pain my curls slide over my swollen red eyes and the bridge and tip of my now-red nose i catch a glimpse of my disheveled appearance in the mirror and wonder why why a choice of such magnitude would rest on my shoulders like heavy boulders i stand like atlas with seemingly the weight of the world on my shoulders… creased with pain and regret—my mind leaps to the possibility of a jubilant life 56

in my deepest subconscious shedded of this skin that is so melancholy a chance to start over once this temporary peril has passed; my dwelling—a paradox to the agony in my head is filled with joyous memories pictures that ref lect perfect moments in time of utter content the past that exists in my brain is so contrary— the only thing roaming the labyrinth of my mind is treachery. but i can’t decide to swallow the bitter poison of deceit just because of the belief that by sliding into the next dimension my anguish will be cured. ‘tis only a hope. by ending my anguish i will only ignite anguish’s wildfire in others paining them to even think of me and my remnants after i’ve gone but the idea of vanishing sounded all too sweet to my suffering soul— the confusion all became clear when a message lit up my phone’s screen “i love you. i’m here.”—this brought all the clarity that was needed temporary perils are just that, temporary; life is what we make of it. i chose to make it the most.

SOLILOQUY by Georgia Alexis

To be or not to be that is the question Whether to spend my life teaching, or solving murders ‘til eternity Smelling the beautiful scents of a summer evening Walking the busy streets of Brooklyn full of people Watching these people travel home from a long day’s work, I began to contemplate... When it’s my turn, what job will I be coming home from? Should I push a room full of kids beyond their limits like a coach? Or should I investigate crimes like Sherlock Holmes? Since my youth, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher With a mini whiteboard and toys for students, I would turn my bedroom into an imaginary classroom But what if I cannot handle a real classroom full of real kids? And what about the low compensation? That is where a homicide detective comes in 58

Solving murders and crimes is a very interesting career And the high compensation is a plus But being a detective means long hours, seeing dead bodies and possibly putting myself in danger Being a detective may seem easy on television but is it really? Is it really worth the high compensation? As I traveled home from working a long day with kids I realized I would work with kids without even getting paid I realized that teaching is for me My heart says teaching, and who would ever go against what their heart says?

2013 by Isaiah Foster

Snowfield outside, bullets flying but really just flurries outside A white wonderland, the ground consumed A boy in bed sound asleep, “ZZZZZZ” . . . right, take back the “sound asleep” piece A boy rises up from his bed, awake he is. He is me, we are the same The day after the eve of Christmas, the only holiday more important than my birthday “Good morning, Isaiah.” I’m greeted by my mother. I greet her back and admire the Tree we put up Christmas got different as I aged From Presents under the tree to ordering what we wanted The Question f loating around the atmosphere but hasn’t entered mine yet “What console do you want?” ... I felt like I was in a Pokémon game and there were three 60

Poké Balls in front of me I couldn’t progress until I made a decision, time wouldn’t resume until I made a decision Nintendo Wii U, Xbox One, PlayStation 4 Time resumed and no decision was made, I panicked “Well? What do you want? Your sister is at the store right now, you have to make a decision” I despise being told to make a decision on the spot, I normally think everything out Batman timing I went with my inner child which yelled in excitement at the thought of childhood favorites such as the famous speedy blue blur, Sonic the Hedgehog The Italian plumber who wears overalls and a red cap, Mario The boy from Hyrule who wears green and carries a sword and a shield and is always on a new adventure, Link And Smash, which is the game that put them together along with the addition of characters from many other franchises The unanswerable question now slapped me in the face with an obvious answer Nintendo, the reason why I even got into gaming Watching my sister play Donkey Kong and Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64 Then when I got to play . . . I didn’t know what was going on but I enjoyed it “Bring home a Switch” My decision was made Fin 61

AP LANG by Ishana Grant

To be or not to be, that is the question. Should I wreak havoc with my controversial opinions? Or should I stay hushed like a peaceful baby in slumber? My opinions are never taken lightly Even when I convey them ever so slightly. They see Cain and I see Abel. The picture I painted of myself Is the person that knows the impacts of her words But my mind sees differently I guess I painted the picture wrongâ&#x20AC;Ś Should I suppress my opinions once again? And disregard them like they do not matter. UGH! Conscience does make cowards of us all And loses the name in action. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll think about this again tomorrow.

POWER SOLILOQUY by Isiaih Watkins

To be or not to be that is the question. Lay up in the house no job in the 30 years with no job Or get up and start becoming the world fighter ruler of outworld almost like a god A unknown man that help you and tells you the netherrealm Be better get stronger if you lost or win and take from that Or fell off be weak and not try again brush that under the rug The world we live in is so undecided, while Trump sits there laughing at us taking all the power, so why do we sit acting like nothing happened? Whether it is nobler to . . . Man and power of . . . 63

It takes good and evil against . . . . . . overland and mindset of it How did it start? How one man created all of these things! (The problem) That withholds the scorns of time . . . Those who do not see does make cowards of us all, And lose power made by the same people and now they are better than us

MY CHOICE by Jaelah Jackson

To be or not to be that is the question To be a Binghamton Bearcat or a UAlbany Great Dane The decision is dire but I know who I must accept Binghamton, my dear cash cow Offering me $24,817 The couch has become my throne and it has swallowed me whole I could hear the little voice in my head saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hit yesâ&#x20AC;? Excitement coursed through my body and I had no other choice I did it...but kind of by accident As I hit yes, I thought it was merely confirmation for their EOP program I actually hit yes on my enrollment Forget the UAlbany Great Danes For I am a Bearcat

LEAVE OR STAY? by Juliana Bonilla

Seeing my sister for the first time, I was walking my dog outside. The trees were swaying back and forth due to the wind. The sun was shining on my face. Deciding what I was doing for college. I was in a school inside a classroom filled with kids and it was bright. Should I stay here in New York or go live in North Carolina? If I leave I won’t see my sister or my family, whom I haven’t been away from for 18 years. But if I leave I have an opportunity to grow as a person. I can follow my goals. I’m super scared to be up on stage. I get scared of judgement but maybe you guys can help me decide what I should do. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and it’s been nothing but respect and living life. Both our families know each other. We both have spent holidays with each other. His 66

mom lives in North Carolina and my mom lives here in New York. What should I do? There are many colleges here that are good but over in North Carolina, there are also many amazing opportunities. They have an amazing veterinarian school and near it they have a shelter and animal hospital that I can help out to give me a good opportunity. I will be leaving my family, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard because both offer amazing choices. What should I do?

MEDIA SOLILOQUY by Justin Decoteau

To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether it’s extravagant to teach my brothers what’s right or wrong Or to lie in my bed all day. I’m as responsible as Deku from Class 1-A Or as lazy as Garfield on Mondays. To be the type of person who lead people to the right direction like Naruto Or to be the type of person who relied on others’ opinions like Greg Heff ley. To be or not to be that is the question. Whether it’s important to obey the rules like Captain America Or to follow my own beliefs like Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon. 68

But, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m valued to be my own type of person, A person who can think of both himself and those around him, A person who can help protect others while protecting himself, And thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the type of person I want to be.

THE MOVIE OR THE TV SHOW by Kamahri Hunter

-----

To be or not to be that is the question Let me begin to teach my session Arguably by learning my own lesson Whether I lay in solitude along with the darkness thinking of the enjoyment I would have with watching that horror movie Or instead only satisfying my entertainment lightbulb for the night with the TV show and calling it a day If I were as enthralled with the TV show in my sight I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be so contradicted with the movie displaying on my computer screen to the right To know that the pathway of blood and gore is what my f lesh, mind, and body desires It is like visualizing God creating the earth in the beginning 70

-- Why must my mind be a void of darkness hearkened to the will of evil -- Consuming the nutrients of the human body as such of a insect or a weevil -- But the name â&#x20AC;&#x153;psychopathâ&#x20AC;? is not defined based on what you enjoy viewing -- What you watch is tolerant enough for your mind of clouds to start becoming gray -- As the rain pours it soaks the ground and the permeability is your sanity -- I AM SIMPLY NOT CRAZY -- I just want to be fed with the food that I like -- This means that my heart is tied to the movie -- I will turn off the TV and begin my zealous journey

DISNEY by Kayla Williams

To be or not to be that is the question As I walk through Magic Kingdom, I think about my future It’s the Fourth of July and everyone is wearing red, white, and blue I hear the birds chirping and I see the f lowers glistening in the sun Where exactly do I want to be Is it somewhere tropical or shall I stick to what I’m used to I’ve always dreamt of living in a beautiful, warm place But growing up I’ve only experienced this for about three months per year I continue to think and soon it gets dark The rides and attractions light up beautifully like the stars in the sky Should I really start my life here I mean there’s always something fun to do here like going to amusement or water parks 72

And the weather never really gets cold and when it’s hot there’s always a breeze But still I worry I don’t want to leave my family behind because who knows when they’ll need me Also I’m not used to this environment, so will I be able to handle it I continue to think while I leave Magic Kingdom Is this the place for me or not I step back into my hotel room and as I lay down in bed watching the fireworks, I realize there’s no place I’d rather be

FUTURE by Kelly Flores Hernandez

To be or not to be that is the question To be a scholar or to be a failure To be better than my family or to be a disappointment I wake up hearing the birds chirping Wondering the future that comes Don’t know whether to go or stay I look at the life now and see that I am not little anymore The girl who used to ride on the bike with her dad Has to soon go away Mom, Dad, I love you even if I don’t show it I promise you your baby girl will start to notice Class of ‘24 in the making and you will be proud, just name it

CHOICE by Khadeejah Woods

To Be Or Not To Be Is The Question Whether it is smarter to stand at the window and cry Or get up and go get me a snack My stare as blank as a white sheet of paper Should I let these decisions get the best of me Or should I take a stand for myself as Rosa Parks did? My stare as blank as a white sheet of paper Should I just ship myself back to itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s maker? (jk, jk I love my life) Whether it is smarter to save my money and stay home Or go into debt and get out of here Suffer the slings and arrows of choosing a school Tis a consummation to be wished Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And lose the name of action 75

TRAPPED by Kyra Ogarro

Being in quarantine is like being trapped in a cage, 1 There’s no way to escape, that’s when my mind goes Blank. Not even online school could pull me through to clean the slate going outside is the way. The question is Why does it have to be this way? 5 Bored in the house, bored in the house, bored;

It feels like I’m trapped, got nowhere to go, 7 COVID-19 affected us all, but why can’t it go back to how it was before? Damn this curse of a disease! Now I can’t have a ceremony to send me off on a journey We have so worked hard for. This may sound 11 like a poem, but at least I gave it my all.

HOME by Niya Hamiel

To be or not to be is the question. New York City the big streets, the bright lights, this city is so beautiful but is this city for me? As I lay in bed wondering what I should do for my next move. Do I stay here after Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m done with school? Or should I travel somewhere different to get a better feeling. New beginnings, new chapter in my life sounds good to me some Where safe and sound a town where I can call home from Now on. A place where I can lay my head down at night and Say this is home but then, what if I am home? Walking down The streets as I hear kids laughing, playing around, families Are outside BBQing, having a great time. As I lay down Wondering day by day what should be my next move I start to think to myself no need to rush when 77

You are ready and financially stable, then your Time has come, as of right now enjoy your life Keep working harder, achieve your goal, spend Time with your family, then I made the decision To call this place my home because I am home where I belong.

BRAIN by Nyasia Logan

I think I am going insane Nobody to blame but my brain I blame you for all my pain All my strains and all my migraines Because of you I can’t do my duties today Because of you I can’t see my beauty portrayed No matter what I do Nothing seems to permanently destroy you I can take all the pills in the world Yet you still win in the end because I would be in the underworld Never thought I say this before But you win there’s no fighting with you anymore

TO DO THE ARDUOUS by Ousman Barry

To be or not to be whether its go and do bad things or go do productive things In an illusion are demons trying to get into your head Should I try even when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arduous Or Give up and be a Contemptible In illusions Demons want to get into ur mind. Your mind can be strong and powerful and there are things u may never know Whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good to struggle . . . Struggle may seem unpleasant It can assist u on what life like . . . But you and your Mind can fight against it 80

Are they trying to capture me!? Ghost and Devils f ly into my mind May I do the right thing and fight them? Or cowardly let them take over? I picture battling the demons with swords . . . I would win a great battle . . . And let my mind be free

THOUGHTS by Phillip Davilar

To be or not to be that is the question If thy say I’m relentless, I shall slay his hand A easy kill, I’m a call of duty match full of greats, But those who trespass against me are not my mates. Whether they try to count me out I’m an underdog, but I achieved greatness They slayed my only way of freedom My best friend, my go getter, my heart Under control of my thoughts they punch me down to not be up. I fight and break up the mold of defeat shall I share my thoughts or kill the owner of this transition of evil. Cross me once you’re out cross me out is a kidnapper Him and his men should have died hereafter.

DREAMS by River Figueroa

As I lay where dreams come to life, a nightmare is where I exist. There is no escape from that reality, how ever shall I face it? Floating away from a true identity, beloved, well-known peers would admire me longer Be drawn and confront it, results in betrayal. As I sing this song with somber, the believers wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t listen, ref lection of their vices The confidantes would dance in celebration of the truth Keep secret and bemuse those whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve known the virtues But if thy held onto philophillia of thy lineage, Thy self made the water of the womb thicker. So desperately want the thick, Rich blood of the covenant and be an unadulterated creature Both cannot coexist in those deemed non-believers, Turning away can bring the true identity Suffer being alive for the bitter end of thy grave 83

Or be content with living for true peace of thy own Dreams are meant to be reality, No longer exist nightmares of familiar Stockholm syndrome True identity is my only identity.

MY SOLILOQUY EXHIBITION by Roemello Cummings

Should I go to college or should I not go to college? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the question. College could be a waste of time or it could be the best thing I ever did, who knows? I could be wasting my money on college instead of doing something else with my money like creating a business. Look, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what will happen but either option can go either way, good or bad. I think about it like this: I can go to college, have the best time of my life, create a lot of memories, meet new people, get out of my comfort zone, have a good major, get good grades, have a job that pays me good, and have a nice family. Or I can go to college and have the most boring and stressful experience in my life, not meeting many people because I 85

spend all of my time working to pay for college and studying for exams, not being able to get out of my comfort zone because I’m always busy, have a good major, get good grades, and still end up with a shitty 9-5 job that I don’t like because I don’t have enough experience for the job I want, and still live with my grandparents. But when it comes to starting a business I can work a 9-5 job straight out of high school, save some money to start an online drop shipping business to sell products online. I pay a mentor which turns out to not be a scam so they show me how to create and run the business. Within 6-12 months I’m making at least 15K a month, able to travel the world, meet new people, and create new memories that will last with stories I tell my children when they grow old. Or that idea can go south: I can finish school, work at a 9-5 job that I don’t like, save up some money to start a business, use most of the money I saved to pay for a mentor, they turn out to be scammer so I lose out big time. After that I lose all motivation to create a business. I never learn to do anything like a trade. Now I’m 30 still working at a 9-5, living in a shitty apartment in a bad neighborhood with my baby mother and our child with lots of bills and child support to pay. 86

Now I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t save any money to start the business even if I wanted to. So when I choose my option I think that going to college is the best option because I can still start a business after and have something to fall back on.

THE DECISION by Saâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;nique Jackson

A fight between Two choices, Also a fight between water and fire like an Avatar. Sitting in my room, staring at the white walls falling into a loop. With the light sound of a ticking from a clock, or is it my imagination? The sound of complete silence started to weigh in on making the once ticking sound disappear, Maybe it is my imagination. The candle burning put a vanilla smell, calming at every deep breath, I kept touching and f lipping going through my financial aid packets for my two top choices College A was visited and full of life; it was spacious, and closer to home than college B. But college B offered more financial aid and is much smaller than college A. 88

College A was a higher outta pocket cost than college B, but college B has a lot of mystery to it, but also seems dull, while college A seems so full of life and adventure. It was an intense decision, one that would make and break my future learning career. Which would I choose college A or college B? The pros and cons were neck and neck for each college, I was starting to overthink it or maybe I wasn’t overthinking enough. WHY COULDN’T IT BE SIMPLE? Why couldn’t it be like picking a piece of candy? Or like picking a show to watch on netf lix? This one decision had so much riding on it but I knew which one would make me happy, and I always told myself do what makes Sa’Nique happy; so I made Sa’nique happy and picked college A.

TO BE INDEPENDENT OR DEPENDENT by Sabine Francis

To be or not to be is the question, Whether I should ask for help when I feel need it Or not even bother to dump my problems on people who have their own issues. I know I can’t keep everything to myself or it’ll all build up, But then again people will judge you and use your downfalls as leverage in the future Ugh! Look at this room, a bag of clothes on the f loor, Mail and shoes everywhere, and no space to move around. And I can’t think straight with all this clutter . . . All of this needs to be cleaned up today!!! Where do I even start? Anyways, back to the question Why am I overthinking this? Usually, when I ask, the anxiety builds up and eventually just disappears, But then I hear their criticizing tone of voice and it reappears, 90

Which then causes me to ask myself, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why did I even bother?â&#x20AC;? I think I might just save myself the internal embarrassment And deal with the situation . . . Alone.

NYC SOLILOQUY by Shania Ciego

To live or not to live In New York City That is the question. Looking out the window, watching cars drive by and the wind blow through the trees. listening to New York by Alicia Keys playing in the background cars honking a funky beat. smelling grass. NYC is a beautiful place, but is a dangerous place to live. There are many crimes and gang violence going on. NYC is the big apple but Paris is the city of love. A romantic date in a restaurant near the Eiffel Tower 92

NYC is filled with different cultures, Music and food but different cultures are everywhere you go. NYC has occupied streets but there are a lot of lit activities to do. I see all black nothing at all I´m pacing, and I hear different voices in my head telling me that, “It’s my choice, my life.” NYC is a great place to raise a family, you don’t need a car to travel, but I lived in NYC for years. I asked my family for advice majority of them agreed it’s time for me to go on an adventure see the rest of the world, before settling down. To worry about myself do what makes me happy NYC will be like a support system.

SOCIAL DISTANCE by Skyla Thomas

To be or not to be is the question. Whether it’s beneficial to get out the bed and get my life together or continue resting. My eyes are so heavy but the birds I hear having a meeting outside my window and the pinging alerts of my teachers adding assignments to Google Classroom coming from my phone won’t let them close. I just keep thinking to myself over and over, “Just get up, just get up.” Instead of my blanket feeling like a soft sleeping aid, it feels like the blanket of quarantine depression. Okay. I’m going to get up, but do I really want to be bothered with the realities of life? Oh and the most dreadful of all—homework?

Although if I do get up and catch up on life I won’t have to worry about these same homeworks later and I can clean my room! But my bed is just so comfortable and I have a lot of time on my hands obviously. Yeah, I’m just going to stay in bed, one more nap won’t hurt! By the time this thing is over I’ll be a pro at social distancing for real.

BREAKING THE FAST: A BREAKFAST DILEMMA by Tamia Johnson

To eat this, or to eat that, that is my struggle. Shall I enter the kitchen to hear my family’s thunderous banter, becoming a Scrooge of sound, And retreat to my safe haven with food in hand, Or keep my eyes closed to not acknowledge the Sunday morning light assaulting my vision And ignore the question that will be, unfortunately, heading my way? “What do you want to eat?” A dreaded inquire that my indecisive self cannot truly defeat. Food and I are in a thousand-year war. I have declared my independence long ago like the Americans did to Great Britain, But food knows his opponent very well and challenges my fussiness to the extremes. He is aware of my favorites, likes, and dislikes. 96

He knows when I’m about to complain and whine. Yet, he always presents a plate full of the unknown and disgust. And he laughs as I eat anyway because not disappointing people is a must. For I am no Jesus, since I cannot turn water into wine. But I wish to stay faithful to exploring my edible horizons as he is to God. No matter! I must decide as the world’s weight is now on my shoulders. Clack! Clack! Clack! A horse trotting this way? No, it cannot be. Oh no! The slapping of slippers against a wooden f loor Means Mom is coming right this way towards my door! I sit up from the bed quickly, head spinning faster than Earth on its axis. I must narrow down my options for the hourglass has little sand left. Eggs with cheese, a contradictory meal of mine. Cheese, a lovely delicacy straight from the Lord’s plate. But I will always tell Sam-I-Am that I do not like green eggs (but I do like ham). To my eyes, nose, and tongue, they are a disgrace. Yet, the cheese hides the whiteness of the eggs, making me forget I despised them in the first place. Prepare for the controversy and unorthodox For cereal, to me, is a mere snack and not breakfast. 97

Yes, it tastes sugary and sweet with diabetes abound. The problem lies in the plain milk, which I will forever hate. Simultaneously, it is tasteless and unpleasant. That bothers me so, Which is why I say the cereal must go. Bacon, a worthy contender with the heart of high blood pressure and salt intake. Although smoked to perfection, seemingly without a f law, I know in my heart that is truly wrong. Bacon and I, estranged lovers tragically separated by this sovereign of unjust pain, Brought by what my mouth has conceived, the wisdom tooth. The crunch of each bite is akin to chewing needles and glass, sending my mouth af lame. Now Bacon and I part ways. What a shame, what a shame.

NEW BEGINNINGS by Tatiana Joseph

To be or not to be is the question. As I lay in my bed wondering whether I should go away to college or not. I think about what new beginnings would be like on my own. I then feel this strong breeze pass through my window. As I continue to wonder whether I should go away to college or not, I start to think about what going away to college would be like. If I go away for college, that will give me a good start on adulthood. I would have a better college experience. But that will be a lot of money spent on a dorm. And if I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go away to college, I will be saving more money but I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a good experience on what adulthood would be like for me. 99

Struggling with what decision to make. I then walk to my motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room. As she lays on her bed, I ask for her input. She tells me that life is short and not to rush into anything that I may not be ready for. So I took her advice and decided to stay home for college and enjoy the precious time that I have with my family. I realized in the end that eventually I will face adulthood but just not yet.

100

“DON’T BE A BUM TAYA.” by Taya Dickinson

What to be, what to do is the question. Whether I want to be a chef, babysitter, or a chemist Whether it’s nobler to be a chemist Or be a bum, the choice is mine. Laying in my dark room Suffering from a brain fart like a baby trying to poop for the first time. I envision myself being a chef Years later, I envision myself being a babysitter Years later, I envision myself being a pharmaceutical drug chemist I hate school. I hate school more than anything. Why on earth would I want to do something that takes years of school? 101

I thought to myself, is this the life I wanted? Or do I want to be a bumâ&#x20AC;Ś Laying in my dark room again, I thought about it. I want to be as rich as Bill Gates. I want to play with drugs all day, not do them :) Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve decided to be a pharmaceutical drug chemist, not a bum :) Aaaand a dancer on the weekends. The end. <3

102

PANDEMIC SOLILOQUY by Tevonne Cooper

To be or not to be, that is the question Should I wear the mask to go to the store or not? Should people suffer the slings and arrows of others who are reluctant to wear masks or take arms against a sea of troubles, and protect others However, it is my right to wear a mask. People are promptly dying and many families are crying due to corona I want to protect my family and friends from getting sick If I get the virus I am okay, I am extremely young anyway! Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, no mask for me at all I agree that putting on a mask is vital to all The clear choice is to put on a mask and save the world from this disease!

103

DURING QUARANTINE by Tolani Adeyemi

Should I or should I not, that is the question Whether â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;tis better to start working out again or relax and enjoy the quarantine. As I lay there on my bed, phone in hand staring at the empty space in the middle of my room I think to thyself, with this newfound free time should I work on my body For Michael B. Jordan is who I wish to embody, but I feel shoddy. My arms are as f limsy as spaghetti and my beach body is not ready. Working out would solve this, but at what cost? Forcing thyself into strenuous acts I will begin to feel lost But thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the worst, for working out would take time from my Netf lix. However, it would be unproductive to choose TV over athletics. 104

Aye, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the rub, Does choosing desire make me a cub? You know what, to hell with your criticism whether or not constructive I choose to enjoy my free time being unproductive.

105

HUNGER by Tyriq Lieu Ken-Pen

To be or not to be that is the question Whether it is nobler to make myself something to eat Or sit in silence, relaxed by my concession I have no energy to leave my room But eating something may regain my strength Aye, there’s the rub! My hunger overwhelms me comparable to that of Atlas So it is decided I shall leave my bed to make a sandwich Right after I update my status Walking to the kitchen is like walking on a treadmill You feel like you are going somewhere But in reality you are stationary Alas I reached the kitchen but what sandwich should I make? Should it be a grilled cheese Or a PB&J Or maybe I should try something fancy No, I’m as lazy as a billionaire’s last-born child 106

So I shall just make a PB&J The ingredients were rather easy to find I start to spread peanut butter on a slice of whole wheat bread It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t until I put jelly on another slice that I notice the difference of texture The smooth texture of the peanut butter andâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; No, this is making me hungrier, I must eat now The sweetness of the jelly complements The f lavors and textures of the bread and peanut butter I feel like Gordon Ramsay But I am happy to finally relinquish myself To the deep anguish called Hunger

107

BREAKFAST SOLILOQUY by Valerie Mintz

To be or not to be, that is the question. While cooking in the kitchen couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t decide what to make me some Eggs, turkey bacon, or pancakes Or make a simple easy meal to eat like oatmeal The oatmeal is a healthier choice to eat for breakfast But the smell of eggs, turkey bacon, and pancakes cooking it on the stove The oatmeal takes less time to cook and if you not really that hungry But eggs, turkey bacon, and pancakes took a long time to cook and I want the food right now! I want just want to make a decision right now But who can I ask to help me make this decision Let me go ask someone in my house So there I go and ask my sister 108

Which breakfast should I make I tell her the problem and she say which one is more easier by the way I have to leave soon So I say oatmeal so then I made some oatmeal and walked out the door afterwards.

109

SOLILOQUY by Xavier Person

To be or not to be that is the question. Whether it be more proficient to lay and wait till the last moment, or to get up and do work so I can lay up for however long I want. The first step is always the hardest. Like your first leap always seems the farthest. Staring at the blank sheet with my mind ablaze. As I try to make my words sharp enough to cut the paper like a mental blade. I could make these things happen if I just got out of bed. Because even if I wanted it done it’s still just in my head. Realizing I’m at a stalemate unless I move. I get up & open up the laptop and get in my groove. After finishing my work I can lay down again so I’m in a good mood. 110

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

826NYC works with classes of students and teachers on creative writing projects across New York City. During the COVID-19 pandemic, our staff worked with eleventh and twelfth graders from Academy for Young Writers to write about what dystopia means and create soliloquies from their hearts. Nature Seems to be Running Just Fine is a compilation of the original work of these students. A huge thank you to our Teaching Artist Maryann Aita. Your support, encouragement, and quick thinking to pivot this project to a digital space gave our students the courage to share scary and moving stories in an unprecedented time. We are particularly grateful to Sean Mattio and Dave Weber for their support of this project. Your hard work and dedication give your students the space to grow as writers and thinkers without backing down from a challenge. Thank you to Principal AAden Stern for bringing us into Academy for 111

Young Writers and for his support of the program throughout the year. At 826NYC we depend on the dedicated volunteer editing and design cohort that make our publications a reality. Thank you to Jenna Stempel-Lobell for designing such a beautiful book for our students. To copy editors and proofreaders Christopher Ahearn, Carly Schnitzler, Allison Singer, Lauren Stefaniak, Lala Jackson, and Shelby Solla for their thoughtful reading and edits to each of the student’s pieces. A big thank you to The Rona Jaffe Foundation, The Bay and Paul Foundation, The New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, The Resnick Family Foundation, and the National Endowment for the Arts for their generous support, which allows us to publish our students’ work. Thank you especially to the 826NYC staff for their behind-the-scenes support of this project, from curriculum development and the book-making process to volunteer recruitment. Finally, thank you to the eleventh and twelfth grade students at Academy for Young Writers for taking risks with your writing and sharing your words with us. Writing can be challenging, especially when so much is going on in the world. Your dedication to your craft and your stories shines through in these pieces. We are all excited to see what books you’ll produce in the future!

112

826NYC LOCATION AND LEADERSHIP

826NYC and The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co. 372 Fifth Ave Brooklyn, NY 11215 718.499.9884 www.826nyc.org STAFF Joshua Mandelbaum, Executive Director Aarti Monteiro, Director of Education Nico Garbaccio, Volunteer and Programs Manager Thais Vitorelli, Programs Coordinator Corey Ruzicano, Programs Coordinator Summer Medina, Community Engagement Strategist Jesusdaniel Barba, Programs Coordinator Lauren Everett, Communication & Fundraising Coordinator Chris Eckert, Store Manager Sonya Moore, Retail Associate BOARD OF DIRECTORS Tammy Oler, President Ted Wolff, Vice President Ray Carpenter, Treasurer Michelle McGovern, Secretary Michael Colagiovanni Laurie Malkin

Amir Mokari Arjun Nagappan Katie Schwab Danielle Sinay Andrew Sparkler Liza Steinberg Alyson Stone Maura Tierney Thom Unterburger Kathryn Yontef

826NYC PROGRAMS AFTER-SCHOOL TUTORING We offer free tutoring four days per week for students ages six to eighteen. Students work with volunteer tutors in small groups to finish homework assignments, complete independent writing projects, and to read independently, in pairs or in groups. We serve students of all skill levels and interests and work with parents and teachers to create independent learning objectives and support plans for struggling students. EVENING AND WEEKEND WORKSHOPS We offer writing-based workshops that provide in-depth instruction in a variety of subjects that schools often cannot include in their curricula. These workshops cover topics such as college entrance essays, comic bookâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;making, creative writing, journalism, poetry, and filmmaking. All workshops are taught by teaching artists and are limited in size to ensure that students receive plenty of individual attention.

IN-SCHOOL SUPPORT FOR TEACHERS The strength of our volunteer base allows us to provide in-school support to work with students in New York City classrooms. We recognize that large class sizes make it increasingly difficult for teachers to provide individualized feedback and guidance on research and writing. We send volunteers to the classroom to assist teachers with providing this essential one-on-one support. HOSTED FIELD TRIPS 826NYC welcomes classes from public schools for mornings of high-energy storytelling activities. Our most popular field trip is our Storytelling and Bookmaking project, in which elementary school students write, illustrate, publish, and bind their own books in a two-hour session. At the conclusion of this trip, each student leaves with his or her own copy of the book and a newfound excitement for writing. Our other field trips cover topics such as memoir writing, screenwriting, and more. STUDENT PUBLICATIONS Through our writing workshops and after-school tutoring program, our volunteers work with students to help them create stories, poems, and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;zines. Because we believe that the quality of studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; work is greatly enhanced when they are given the chance to share it with an authentic audience, we are committed to publishing student works. By encouraging their work and by guiding them through the process of publication, we make abundantly clear that their ideas are valued.

Empty train stations. Fire and darkness. Isolation. These are only some of themes explored in Nature Seems to be Running Just Fine, a collection of dystopian narrative stories and soliloquies written by 11th and 12th graders at Academy for Young Writers. Throughout the school year, students worked on a variety of creative writing projects, and now, finally, the best of their work is in your hands.

Proceeds from the sale of this book benefit 826NYC, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting students, ages six to eighteen, with their creative and expository writing skills, and to helping teachers inspire their students to write.