WhO AM i?

Alanie Mendez

an everyday ritual to search for Life wake up, get dressed, stare in the mirror. a robotic way of life—how comical. search parties sent for a familiar reflection, instead what stares back is a husk of a human. fingertips tracing features, just to make sure your physicality is true. the familiar taste of disgust in your throat. the pang of fear you know all too well. an off-key laugh pushing its way out of you. a painted smile to feel any more normal. counting of eyelashes, freckles, and moles. everything is where it’s supposed to be. a flash of realization in the reflection across from you, you don’t recognize yourself.

What changed?

rubbing your eyes to be sure they aren’t playing tricks, pinching yourself to make sure you can feel, it doesn’t feel right.

What happened here?

Who stares back at me?

a tilt of your head, a last attempt and understanding—

“Who am I?”