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Top 5 things this Divorce Lawyer wants you to know about Divorce
Top 5 Things this Divorce Lawyer wants you to know about Divorce
Special to 919 Magazine
Marriage and divorce are both common occurrences. According to the American Psychological Association, healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health, and they are also good for the mental, physical, and social needs of children.
However, divorce lurks in the back of the minds of even the happiest couples. Why? Although reported divorce statistics are imprecise at somewhere between 40-50 percent, everyone knows someone who has gotten a divorce.
As someone who has represented divorcing couples for almost 25 years, Cathy Hunt, Partner at the law firm of Gailor, Hunt, Jenkins, Davis, and Taylor, shares her unique perspective on the common causes, costs, and protections against divorce.
THE MOST COMMON CAUSES OF DIVORCE
Adultery is a common theme in divorce, and social media has opened a door for easy contact that has not always been available. Sometimes people fall prey to the attention and excitement they get when someone new shows interest.
Money and finances are also a common problem in marriages, especially when it causes an imbalance of power between the wage earner and a stay at home spouse – even if that arrangement was by agreement. When there is an imbalance of power, either spouse is vulnerable to attention they might receive from someone who sees them in a different light. However, if they
could fast forward to the fallout that results to families, children, finances, and futures when there is a divorce, they might think twice before opening that door.
BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT IN PROTECTING YOUR MARRIAGE
If you want to protect your marriage, make it your first priority and not something you try to salvage after years of putting in less than your best effort. Divorce often occurs when spouses take their marriage for granted. If you fail to nurture your relationship, it leaves it vulnerable to intrusion and potentially destruction. People falsely assume that their spouse will always be there regardless of how they behave or treat them.
There is often a martial loafing that occurs over time. If you want anything to thrive it requires diligence. A marriage is no exception. Purposely investing your time and attention in your marriage in a meaningful way is one of the best ways to protect your marriage. In addition, accept that that at some point all spouses will be faced with some type of temptation. Being aware of that fact and being on guard in advance makes it easier to avoid the Facebook friend request that you should not accept.
CATHY C. HUNT
G A I L O R , H U N T , J E N K I N S , DAVIS, TAYLOR, AND GIBBS PLLC
THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER
Given that the divorce rate for second marriages is higher than the divorce rate for first marriages, evidence supports the fact that the grass is not always greener on the other side. When the honeymoon ends, and everyday life resumes, one or both of the parties has been through the divorce ringer and has likely come out with half of their assets, a lot of debt or expense from the divorce, and often children that are navigating two houses and the aftermath of what once was their home. What previously seemed like an exciting new life may end up not looking so appealing when dealing with the aftermath of a divorce.
WHAT WILL IT COST
Costs in a divorce are all over the map and hard to predict. The more you fight, the more you will pay in legal fees. In all cases, there will be the same amount of money that will now be supporting two different households. If you agree that each of you will take 50 percent of the assets and you can agree how to divide them, your cost will be less.
If you can’t agree, and you have to pay lawyers to negotiate or litigate the distribution, it will cost more and maybe substantially more. The same is true regarding custodial schedules and whether one party needs financial support. At the end of the day, any agreement you reach on your own will be the devil you know. Courtrooms are very unpredictable, and you will have more control over your outcome and your costs by making concessions and coming to an agreement that your lawyers can memorialize in a binding and enforceable agreement.
HOW ARE ASSETS DIVIDED
In North Carolina, the presumption is that assets will be equally divided. All marital assets and debts will be valued, and the net of the two constitutes the value of the marital estate. Assets are distributed to each spouse such that the parties receive an equal amount. Sometimes that means that one spouse may have to equalize the distribution through a cash payment or transfer from a retirement or other financial account.
If one or both of the parties owns a business, the business is an asset of the marital estate and will most likely need to be appraised to calculate the value. A business is usually distributed to the spouse that can most effectively run the business. If the business is one of the more valuable assets in the marital estate, the other spouse has to receive an equal value through other assets, such as a house and other financial accounts.
Retaining a divorce attorney who can settle a case is as important as hiring one who is an experienced litigator. Good experienced lawyers will try to negotiate a fair settlement and only engage in litigation as a last resort.
For more information, contact Cathy C. Hunt at Gailor, Hunt, Jenkins, Davis, Taylor, and Gibbs PLLC at chunt@divorceistough.com or 919-832-8488.
Cathy C. Hunt
919-832-8488
