" I suspect my Spouse is Unfaithful" -- 919 Magazine article by Cathy Hunt, Gailor Hunt Divorce Lawyers

‘I Suspect My Spouse Is Unfaithful…Now What?’

ATTORNEY CATHY HUNT Discusses The Challenges Of Infidelity in Marriage

Marriages, especially long ones, have many seasons. As time goes on spouses can become disconnected.

It is unlikely that one spouse will not be faced with a situation where they could be tempted by another over the course of their marriage. Some people accidentally fall into the trap when reconnecting over social media or spending a lot of time with a co-worker.

There is no greater gut punch than the betrayal by a spouse. When faced with this type of betrayal, it is understandable to want to confront your spouse; however, the best course of action is to gather information of your suspicion. Many marriages survive an affair, but you will want to take steps to protect yourself in the event that you are forced to confront the dissolution of your marriage.

Look for signs.

Often people learn of an affair when a text pops up on their spouse’s phone or an email account is left open revealing the inappropriate relationship. However, often a spouse’s suspicion is not so clearly confirmed. People engaged in an affair routinely exhibit behavioral changes that indicate they are checked out of their marriage and their attention is focused elsewhere. Consider the following possible signs that your partner is not being faithful:

• There is considerably less intimacy or connection in your relationship. • Your spouse has a changed interest in their appearance, maybe losing weight and dressing nicer.

• Your mate is traveling more or working longer hours. • He or she becomes more critical of you.

• Your spouse seems to be picking fights over nothing. • Your spouse gets very defensive if you mention infidelity or affairs.

• Your spouse avoids you or does not want to be in the same physical space as you. • You find your partner has been lying to you about a variety of things.

CATHY HUNT, Family Law Attorney

Cathy Hunt, Gailor Hunt Divorce Lawyers

• Your spouse is secretive, changes their cell phone password, and never leaves it unattended.

• Your spouse won’t participate in marriage counseling.

• Your spouse abruptly expresses unhappiness in the marriage or wants to separate out of the blue.

In most cases, when you confront your spouse with allegations or even proof of infidelity, it will be denied. Consider taking these steps to confirm your unfortunate suspicion and to protect yourself if you expect your spouse is cheating:

Don’t say anything to anyone.

Adultery could affect alimony or custody in a divorce case. You don’t want to increase the risk that your spouse will know of your suspicion. That could prevent you from getting the evidence you need if you are faced with getting a divorce.

Gather evidence of the suspected affair.

PHONE RECORDS: Most all evidence of an affair is found on a spouse’s phone. Phone records will often show numbers that are called or texted repeatedly and at odd times of the day or night.

ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATIONS: If you’ve been given access by your spouse, you may want to look at emails or texts to see if there are communications that appear to

support your suspicions. Today people text much more frequently than they actually talk. Text messages are often quite revealing about the nature of the relationship. You would also look for any videos or photos that may be attached.

SOCIAL MEDIA: Social media is a great resource for information, whether it is your spouse’s Facebook or Instagram, the suspected affair partner, or others that may have posted photos or comments.

CREDIT CARD AND BANK STATEMENTS: These are a roadmap to where your spouse has been on a particular day, the location of the transaction, charges made and cash withdrawals. If you find suspicious charges, you can call to get more information, such as how many people were on a hotel reservation or whether there were other charges such as room service, spa, or restaurant charges.

WEBSITE HISTORY: People engaged in an affair are often secretive and delete the browsing history from their Internet searches. However, if you are able to look at the history it will often reveal inquiries regarding, sex, lingerie, travel, divorce, apps used for secret communications and other inquiries that may confirm your suspicions.

Collect financial records.

If there is a concern that your marriage is heading for separation or divorce, you should start locating records that may be needed in the future. You should gather three years of bank records, tax returns, insurance policies, and any investment or retirement statements. These can easily disappear when people are getting separated. It is better to get these documents while they are accessible in case you need them to protect yourself later.

If you discover that your spouse is being unfaithful, gather the evidence you may need if you and your spouse cannot overcome this marital challenge.

If you want to learn more please feel free to view our blogs and videos on numerous family law issues at divorceistough.com or contact Family Law Attorney Cathy Hunt at chunt@divorceistough. com.