Meet the Nichols Family a foster care story
T
he Nichols family is not very different than most Arizona families, except for their choice to foster. They will tell you they don’t have any special gifts that enable them to foster. It is simply their faith and willingness to meet a need. Their story includes many ups and downs, but it is a story of obedience to God’s calling. Damien and Hayden Nichols were the proud parents of four children. Their family of six seemed large enough to many of their friends and family, but to them it felt incomplete. When they found out they could not have any more children for medical reasons they began to consider adoption. Hayden explored her options, reaching out to Arms of Love Foster Care multiple times. She would call to get information and then life would take over. Finally the agency suggested they take a PS-MAPP class to help them decide if they were ready. Going into the foster care training class, they knew the one thing they were NEVER going to do was foster. They didn’t want the hurt of having a child they had grown to love leaving. However, God began to open their hearts through the information they were learning in the PS-MAPP classes. They heard about the desperate need in Arizona and the situations these children were removed from. They recognized that their reasons for not fostering were selfish, and after getting licensed decided to test the waters by fostering a baby. Enter Prescott. This little one came to the Nichols at just four days old. They had no idea how their lives were about to change. Baby Prescott was a tiny little girl with a huge mass of black hair. They formed an attachment right away. Any fears about not being able to love this child as their own were gone. It wasn’t easy, though. Their youngest, Caden, was six-years-old at the time, and they had forgotten what the infant stage was like. Also, baby Prescott had been exposed to drugs in utero, which added extra challenges. Their kids were excited about a little sister, although their oldest daughter, Tristen, (then 11-years-old) was nervous about the potential loss. Prescott quickly became part of the family and was loved by all. Hayden reached out to the birth mom and worked to establish a relationship. The two moms grew to love each other, something Hayden attributes completely to the Lord. They bought the birth mom a Bible and tried to encourage her, but her parental rights were severed by the state. The Nichols were sad for their new friend and for Prescott, but joyful at the idea of adopting their baby girl. Then the unexpected happened and their worst fears about fostering came true. Baby Prescott had a paternal aunt enter the picture. Despite their personal pain, the Nichols worked closely with the aunt to make her adoption of Prescott as smooth as possible. Six months later baby Prescott was gone. She had been with their family for one year – her whole life – and she had stolen their hearts. Their grief was extreme. Damien didn’t want to leave the house for four days. Their son Jaxon, who was extremely close to Prescott and blossomed while she was in the house, was withdrawn and sad. Everyone cried at the loss of their joy. Damien and Hayden didn’t think they could go on fostering. They considered closing their license. But once again, God began to work in their hearts. “Life is going to have suffering,” says Damien. Hayden adds, “Sometimes the best things in life hurt.” They realized their children were learning more through this experience than they could ever teach them *Photos by Abby Dennison Photography | abbydennison.com
on their own. God was building their character, helping them think of others more than themselves and stretching their entire family to be more like Him by caring for those He cares about. So within a month of Prescott’s departure they had a sibling group placed with them, a baby and a toddler. They loved these children as well. The parental rights were severed in this case, but these children went to their grandmother. They had a couple more short-term foster placements before Kaylee, a precocious two year-old. Kaylee had been severely neglected by her birth parents and had been in multiple foster homes already. Unlike the previous children in the Nichols’ home, Kaylee was already available for adoption. They were thrilled to care for a child who was available to become their own. However, Kaylee’s attachment issues and behavioral problems made things difficult. They asked themselves if they were equipped for this and if Kaylee was the right fit for the family. Damien and Hayden prayed and asked God what He would have them do. Damien thought it wasn’t an accident that Kaylee came to their home, and so of course this was who God had for their family. The kids fought for her too. They loved Kaylee and wanted to keep her. They have since adopted Kaylee, providing her with a forever home. Things are still up and down, but they love her and depend on God to give them the strength they need They are currently fostering another baby girl. This was yet another unexpected step God opened their hearts to. She came at four days old and was only supposed to be there for a few days. She’s now four months-old. Kaylee’s therapist told them the baby is good for her. Seeing the baby’s needs being met is helping Kaylee heal. They are nervous to walk through the same thing that happened with Prescott, but the risk is worth the reward. Baby Prescott is now three years-old. They keep in touch with the aunt, who says she is so grateful Prescott was with them for her first year because she is such a happy child. They were forever impacted, and so was she. God has revealed himself in so many ways through their foster and adoption story. “God has restored everything he’s taken, so every loss he has restored and then some. It doesn’t take away the pain. It doesn’t minimize the suffering. But it was worth it,” says Damien. Hayden encourages potential foster/adoptive parents that “God has so much more for you than what you can ask or imagine. He has been so faithful.” She also admits there is nothing special about them that allows them to foster, besides God’s help. “If I can do it, anyone can do it,” says Hayden. “We are a hot mess. We’re a normal family. All God wants us to do it say yes.” We hope you’ll step out in faith. For more information on fostering or adopting, please visit abcs.org/areyoucalled, or return the enclosed response card.
Ar m s of L ov e Fos t e r C a r e | (8 0 0 ) 6 7 8 -0 6 4 8 | w w w .a b c s.o rg/ fc |
1779 N. Alvernon Way Tucson, AZ 85712
real-life. up close. Meet the Nichols Family