THE GRYPHON THE MAGAZINE OF ABERDEEN HALL 2020/2021
FEATURE ARTICLE
MEET THE NEXT GENERATION THESE GRADE 12 ABERDEEN HALL STUDENTS ARE READY TO NAVIGATE OUR RAPIDLY CHANGING WORLD WITH PASSION AND PURPOSE. PAGE 08 TEACHING EXCELLENCE | INSPIRING FUTURES | SHAPING CHARACTER PAGE 1
IN THIS ISSUE
ALUMNI UPDATE ......................................................
Page 18
DONOR SUPPORT .....................................................
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IT’S ALL ABOUT THE OLIVES ........................................
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Page 24
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR ..........................................
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FAST FACTS .............................................................
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OBSTACLES AND OPPORTUNITIES ................................
Page 04
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFITS OF HELPING OTHERS .....
Page 06
HOPE AND HEALING: SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING IN THE JUNIOR SCHOOL ..............................
NEXT GENERATION OF CHANGEMAKERS........................
Page 08
PROCESS OF ROUND ROCKS .......................................
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TRANSFORMING THE ORDINARY INTO THE EXTRAORDINARY ........................................
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BECOMING A DOLPHIN PARENT...................................
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INTERVIEW WITH MS. TIFFANI ....................................
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INTERVIEW WITH MS. REBECCA ..................................
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FROM SHANGHAI TO KELOWNA JESSICA CAI SHARES HER JOURNEY ............................
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Photo credit: 360° Immersion
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
A funny thing happens when you
obstacles, the growth that comes from change, and about...
do a job you care about. You dig
olives (yes, olives. Thank you Mr. Oz).
deeper, driven by curiosity and
They are lessons worth remembering. Today we find ourselves
passion, and sometimes, you do
caught up in the not just local, but global currents of social,
things that scare you.
political and cultural upheaval - all magnified by the Covid-19
This is my third publication as
pandemic. As a school, the asking of questions and, the pursuit
‘Editor’ with Aberdeen Hall, but
of answers is the essence of our mission and as a community,
my first time writing a foreward,
Aberdeen Hall is leaning into this global change in the pursuit of
which scares me. But as this is the
a more just, equitable, sustainable and globally relevant future.
transformation issue I decided to put my fears aside and go for it. In this issue our staff and faculty are
Erin Jones
talking about transformation in their own lives and the lives
Director of Publications and Social Media
of their students. They talk about the opportunity in
ABERDEEN HALL
SCHOOL LEADERSHIP
FOUNDED IN
FAST FACTS 2004
18
CLASS SIZE AVERAGE
47
PRESCHOOL
285
104
675
Head of School
Grant Ozechowsky
FACULTY & STAFF
High School Principal, Deputy Head
Lisa White
Director of Finance and Human Resources
STUDENTS 2020/2021
Ashley Bryden
Middle School Principal
Casey Turnpenny
274 355
JUNIOR SCHOOL
Tiffani Weaver
High School Vice Principal
Director of Preschool
Lindsay Grieve
Paul Bienvenu
Director of Operations
High School Vice Principal
Christina Ullyot
Director of Admissions, on maternity leave
Stephen Acree
High School Vice Principal, University Guidance
Crystal Kolodziej
Braeden Pistawka
HoS Assistant, Director of Parent Communications
Laura Hazeldine
Director of Publications and Social Media
Middle School Vice Principal
Erin Jones
52
GRADUATING CLASSES TO DATE
STUDENTS IN THE CLASS OF 2021
Our graduates have been accepted to:
Canada
Simon Fraser University
University of Victoria
St. Norbert College
University of Waterloo
Blanche Macdonald Centre
St. Francis Xavier University
University of Arizona
Thompson Rivers University
Vancouver Film School
University of Alberta
Western University
UK
USA
in Ireland
Acadia University Capilano University
British Columbia Ministry of Education
Langara College
Federation of Independent Schools of BC (FISA)
Jaime Hill
Junior School Vice Principal
7
Canadian Accredited Independent Schools (CAIS) Candidate
Independent Schools Association (ISABC)
Junior School Principal
SENIOR SCHOOL
TOTAL ALUMNI
ACCREDITATIONS & MEMBERSHIPS
SAT Testing Site
Chris Grieve
Dalhousie University Emily Carr University Guelph University McGill University McMaster University Mount Allison University Mount Royal University Okanagan College Queen’s University Ryerson University
University of British Columbia University of British Columbia Okanagan University of Calgary University of Lethbridge University of Northern British Columbia University of Ottawa University of Regina University of Saskatchewan University of Toronto
Royal College of Surgeons
Belmont Abbey College
Queen’s University Belfast
Concordia University
St. Andrews University
Wisconsin
University of Buckingham
Cornell University
University of Exeter
Emerson College
University of Edinburgh
Missouri S&T
University of Liverpool
Parsons School of Design Post University
Other International: Tokyo University PAGE 3
OBSTACLES AND OPPORTUNITIES
PAGE 4
wrote down his thoughts almost daily,
solutions for staff, students and faculty
including this:
and financial support for families in
“Our actions may be impeded...but there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting.”
need, and maintaining the highest
And then he concluded the thought with this:
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Most of what will happen in the future
EACH OF US, AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE, HAS FACED GREAT CHALLENGES IN THE PAST YEAR. There have been obstacles faced by Aberdeen Hall, threatening its ability to deliver on the expected high standard of
is out of our control, but we do control how we react. I give high marks to all our teachers, administrators and leadership for preparing in advance should the pandemic take a turn for the worse. Aberdeen Hall does not aim to take actions that are good enough, we
education while maintaining the health
instead strive to be the best we can be.
of students and staff. We are grateful
The Aberdeen Hall Board of Directors
for a supportive community who have come together to face the demands that life during a pandemic has presented thus far. Simply managing the new and constantly evolving rules mandated by the government and the reality of a pandemic has been a challenge. Great demands have been put on all Aberdeen
receives regular updates from our Head of School, Chris Grieve, on the preparations he and his staff have
Dealing with Covid-19 has been demanding, but what is perhaps most impressive is how our kids have responded. They have been asked to take on new responsibilities, including heightened cleanliness, wearing masks, keeping a distance from their peers and moving only within their cohorts. From what I hear, their ability to adapt and follow the new protocols has been excellent. We can be optimistic about the future because we have seen how our students and school staff have responded to obstacles in the past: with resilience, determination, hard work, thoughtfulness, and kindness to others. Armed with these characteristics, we will overcome what comes next. It has not been easy, but evolving and improving never is. This is perhaps one of the great lessons for our children to take away from the pandemic. Good things come when we face and overcome obstacles.
A great deal of work has been done which, hopefully, will never need to be utilized. However, should the situation demand it, Aberdeen Hall is prepared to
that there will be more.
This preparation comes in many forms,
Almost 2000 years ago, perhaps the
including the development of online
lasted over 15 years. As a leader, he
healthy and continues to thrive.
turn for the worse in our community.
overcome the obstacles as they come.
Aurelius, also faced a pandemic that
Aberdeen Hall remains financially
made should the pandemic take a
Hall constituents, and we should expect
greatest of Roman Emperors, Marcus
level of fiscal responsibility to ensure
programming, teaching students how to use new tools and follow new procedures, introducing mental health
By Tyler Bollhorn, Board Chair PAGE 5
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFITS OF HELPING OTHERS
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“ The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” In tough times, providing therapy for others can be excellent therapy for ourselves. With the uncertainties and isolation that we are encountering during the pandemic, there is one therapy that has no downside. Reaching out and helping others is one of the most satisfying and rewarding endeavours we can undertake and can be one of the activities we choose for our own care. This, I believe, is an important life lesson for students. The genuine, lifelong benefits of supporting those in need has a self-fulfilling and positive effect on the psychological health of the giver. For starters, giving to others has no prescription and it is boundless. It often creates a healthy perspective, generates gratitude (the trump card of all emotions), and has been shown to improve physical wellness.
“Studies show that any act of altruism — a selfless act for others — is connected to positive physical and mental effects. According to the Cleveland Clinic, this includes lower blood pressure, increased self-esteem, less incidence of depression, and lower stress levels...” Jessica Wernbrger
“A 1999 study led by Doug Oman of the University of California, Berkeley, found that elderly people who volunteered for two or more organizations were 44% less likely to die over a five-year period than were nonvolunteers, even after controlling for their age, exercise habits, general health, and negative health habits like smoking.” Jill Suttie Dr. Stephanie Brown from the University of Michigan also found a strong correlation between assisting others and having better-quality personal health. She conducted a longitudinal study of 423 couples and found that those who helped others lived longer.
Mahatma Gandhi
also include taking a genuine interest in how others are feeling. Courtesy, respect, introspection, and empathy all play a significant role. This can include a timely hello, or a genuine effort to simply listen. During conversations, I often find myself guilty of attempting to try and solve “the problem” (which may not exist!) instead of just listening. Our teachers are a unique group of individuals, who are known for their ongoing dedicated support of our students. This is not always easy. It takes energy, patience, and a form of resilience that is truly special. When I ask parents and friends about the teachers who had a really beneficial impact on them, they often fondly remember teachers who had a special gift in this area.
Generally speaking, prolonged isolation for anyone, at any time, is detrimental to health. I have been working with members of our community to explore how teachers and students might be able to assist those who are isolated. At Aberdeen Hall, we have a tradition of practicing and celebrating “small acts of kindness” and have seen first hand the positive contagion effects. Our teachers, staff and students are reminded to role model these behaviours when possible. Acts of kindness do not have to be in the form of cards or chocolates, but can
By Chris Grieve, Head of School
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THE NEXT GENERATION OF CHANGEMAKERS
THEIR FINAL YEAR HAS BEEN FAR FROM WHAT THEY IMAGINED, BUT IT HAS UNITED THESE GRADE 12 STUDENTS IN SPIRIT AND RESOLVE. HERE’S WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY ABOUT LEARNING TO OVERCOME CHALLENGING TIMES AND THEIR HOPE FOR A BRIGHTER TOMORROW.
COLBY YURKIW
The unexpected changes presented
How long have you been a student
influenced a year of adjustments. Every
at Aberdeen Hall?
I have been a student at Aberdeen Hall for 8 years. 2020 has been a year of transition in
many ways. How do you feel you’ve
personally changed or grown over the last year? PAGE 8
early in the year have certainly day interactions such as learning and interacting with our peers became challenging but through innovation and hardwork, we persevered. Personally, I have become increasingly independent and learned to utilize the resources available to me. Whether it’s practising mindfulness, going for walks, learning
to cook, or developing a workout
should address students’ individual
environment, and innovate to create
routine, 2020 has certainly been a year
needs and continue to support them
new systems and infrastructure. I plan
of personal growth and development.
throughout. Every student has been
on dedicating substantial efforts to
What changes have you seen in
affected differently by the events
reducing harm to the environment, as
society as a whole that you think
occurring around the world, and having
the negative effects of many companies
are a result of the political and social
support at school is crucial for academic
are increasingly becoming permanent.
upheaval we’ve experienced this
success and mental stability.
As the effects of global warming
year?
What do you think are the major
continue to destroy our environment,
over the next five years?
to influence change no matter how
The United States presidential election in addition to the coronavirus has caused extreme social and political unrest. In regards to political upheaval, society has progressed in spreading awareness and dealing with systematic racism which has lingered for years. With new movements around the world, awareness has been spread, and as a result, society has sincerely benefited. Although many of these events have taken place in the United States, the changes made
challenges the world will be facing In the next five years, the world will be progressively recovering from the effect
of the pandemic. Ideally, a vaccine will be something integrated into society, and the virus will be a thing of the past. Also, I believe the world will be progressing away from political and social unrest, and our lives will be rid of issues posed by laws, elections and pandemics. Speaking of the future, what are your
have influenced Canada greatly. In
post-secondary plans?
addition, society has had to deal with
I plan on pursuing either engineering,
a situation that was unexpected and abnormal. The pandemic has caused social and political change, and called for extreme preventative measures to be put in place. Such measures cause inconvenience and unrest, and as a society, we must evaluate our behaviour and act in the best interest of not only ourselves. How can we as a school ensure that we are doing all we can do to change
and grow along with the changing times?
commerce or a dual degree which combines the two in my post-secondary education. I am undecided as to which
To Aberdeen Hall’s future grads, I implore you to appreciate and take in every day of school until the end. Take every opportunity, and put yourself out there without worrying what others will think. Life is too short to please everyone, and your high school experience is something you will never forget. Continue leading our sports programs and developing our school into an even better place for learning, friendships and community. Do not take anything for granted.
interested in UBC, Western and Waterloo. In addition to academics, I plan to play volleyball in post-secondary if possible, which will be a great progression from Team BC. What are your career aspirations? How do you see yourself contributing
Although I am uncertain of what type
on the current situation, the school
for future AHPS grads?
University. In Canada, I am currently
job of addressing issues presented
spreading knowledge and awareness
Do you have any words of wisdom
aspirations of attending Stanford
to your community?
and political issues. In addition to
big or small.
university I will attend, although I have
As a school, we have done an amazing from the pandemic, as well as social
I believe it is necessary for everyone
of engineering I plan to pursue, longterm I aspire to own my own company. As a result, I will be able to effectively make necessary changes related to the
DILAN SIDHU How long have you been a student at Aberdeen Hall?
I have been attending Aberdeen Hall PAGE 9
since Grade 3, making this my tenth
is in many cases the determining factor
year at the school.
of future successes.
2020 has been a year of transition in
What do you think are the major
personally changed or grown over
over the next five years?
many ways. How do you feel you’ve the last year?
Given the circumstances presented this year, I have had the opportunity to grow as a person with regard to mental health.
challenges the world will be facing Considering the many changes that came with the pandemic, I believe it will
be a struggle for society to accept this different approach to everyday living as
While self-isolating and learning online, I
the new norm.
was able to gain a better understanding
Speaking of the future, what are your
of how important mental health and wellness is. As I advance through my final year of High School during the pandemic, this new appreciation has helped me tremendously- giving me the ability to prioritize myself while still finding ways to enjoy my senior year at Aberdeen Hall. What changes have you seen in
post-secondary plans?
I intend to continue my educational journey by attending university either
ANASTASIIA KORSHUNOV How long have you been a student
in Ontario or BC, where I will complete
at Aberdeen Hall?
my Bachelor of Science degree.
I have been a student at Aberdeen Hall
What are your career aspirations?
for the past 4 years.
How do you see yourself contributing to your community?
society as a whole that you think
After completing my Bachelor of
upheaval we’ve experienced this
2020 has been a year of transition in
many ways. How do you feel you’ve
personally changed or grown over
are a result of the political and social
Science degree, I would like to attend
the last year?
medical school in order to achieve my
year?
life-long career aspirations of becoming
2020 has been a difficult year for many,
Because of this year’s political and social upheaval, due to many situations including the effects of self-isolating and lockdown and the American election, a noticeable change in the discussion of mental health and self-educating has
a doctor. In this position, I see myself contributing to my community by ensuring and assisting everyone to be in their best health whether that be physically or mentally. Do you have any words of wisdom
been seen within society. Furthermore,
for future AHPS grads?
all the uncertainty that came with the
My biggest suggestion for future grads is
pandemic has shown society that it is okay to not know how things will turn out in the end.
to not let stress get to you because this is your last year of high school, so you should enjoy every minute of it. I would
How can we as a school ensure that
also suggest that you take advantage of
and grow along with the changing
12/AP classes and tutorials because
we are doing all we can do to change
what the school offers in terms of grade
times?
universities will not offer you the same
As a school, we can continue to check in with the student body to provide support and awareness for mental health, as it PAGE 10
support and guidance.
including me. It was shocking that the ordinary things that I used to do every day suddenly became forbidden. The world is rapidly changing. However, I am still able to find some benefit from it and learn many important life lessons. For example, since I had to finish my Grade 11 year online, I learned how to better practice independence and use outside resources to deepen my understanding, something that will serve me well in my post-secondary education. I was also able to make valuable connections with my teachers through the numerous Zoom tutorials that I attended. The pandemic and other challenges this year made me realize that it is possible to find the positive in every situation, no matter how difficult it might seem at first. I believe that if we stick together
and stay strong, the hardships of this
and the challenges that we have been
on exchanges to countries like Scotland,
year will soon become just a memory.
facing. The students are following the
Singapore or Russia to gain valuable
What changes have you seen in
rules regarding mask-wearing and social
experience and knowledge that might
society as a whole that you think
distancing, which shows an exemplary
be unique to certain places. Since at this
are a result of the political and social
level of maturity. Due to safety concerns,
time, travelling abroad is not the best
upheaval we’ve experienced this
if they are showing symptoms, students
option, I am also looking for more local
year?
are often absent from school, which
alternatives by researching different
has been a source of stress for many.
specialized programs in Canada.
However, the teachers have done an
What are your career aspirations?
This last year I’ve noticed people expressing their opinions very openly and strongly on a variety of topics, and I see that being partially linked to the pandemic and maskwearing. Since the beginning of the pandemic, it has become mandatory to wear facial masks or coverings. Many individuals viewed this as an infringement of their rights and were not following the recommendations. In the US, wearing a mask (or not), seemed to be a partisan act, with one party showing clear reluctance to mask-wearing. The opposing views on this topic emphasized the political divide in American society, with both constituents and party-leaders openly expressing their beliefs. Locally, I often see people protesting on the streets and encouraging people to accept their point of view. Personally, I believe that unnecessary disobedience is causing nothing but a divide between people and in extreme cases violence. I think that if we all followed the rules, we would be able to beat the pandemic much faster.
amazing job of posting the assignments and instructions online, so that no one gets left behind. The school counselor assistance has been very helpful for many since the start of the year. The new changes are not easy, and having someone trustworthy to talk to makes this time a lot less difficult. What do you think are the major challenges the world will be facing over the next five years?
How do you see yourself contributing to your community?
I am planning on going into electrical engineering at UBC, which is a degree that will open many doors and provide me with career opportunities in different fields. I am not exactly sure where I would want to work, but I know for a fact that I would like to do something that improves the world in one way or another. I am considering working in the
I am hoping that the pandemic will be
healthcare industry, for the government
in the past soon; however, readjusting
or towards developing a software that
back to “normal” will be a long journey.
would improve the lives of citizens.
In my opinion, the hardest part will be for
Home automation is something that
people to keep their guard up regardless
fascinates me, and I believe that further
of the statistics because that would
extending it would be beneficial to the
prevent a third or even a fourth wave.
elderly, and to people with disabilities
Many people miss the activities that
and special needs.
we were able to do without worrying
Do you have any words of wisdom
about masks, and I am sure everyone is eager to live an ordinary life, but that could have negative consequences. It is important to stay responsible, and slowly but surely, the challenges will be in the past.
How can we as a school ensure that
Speaking of the future, what are your
and grow along with the changing
for future AHPS grads?
Graduating during the pandemic has taught me the importance of being grateful for what I have at any given moment. Now, the most ordinary things that the grads of previous years got to experience will not be the same
we are doing all we can do to change
post-secondary plans?
times?
After I graduate high school, I am
perspective. My words of wisdom for
planning on going to a Canadian
future AHPS grads would be to take
university to study electrical engineering.
advantage of as many opportunities
While I am working towards my
as possible. Now, looking back on the
bachelor’s degree, I would love to go
things that I experienced and how much
I think that the community at Aberdeen Hall is very supportive and understanding of the current situation
for us, which truly puts everything in
PAGE 11
more well-rounded it made me, I am
due to the increased tension the global
very grateful that I got the chance to
climate has caused. The economy has
volunteer for numerous establishments,
suffered, the US election occurred,
plan school events, play on school
and Covid-19 has altered the lives of
sports teams and learn new things on
everyone. As a result, people seem to
school trips. Participate, step out of
be increasingly anxious.
your comfort zone, and live as if every
How can we as a school ensure that
day is your last! I promise it will all be worth it in the end!
we are doing all we can do to change
and grow along with the changing times?
The world is always changing and will never be still. Therefore, the school must always be able to adapt and be open to changes to keep up with the world around it. What do you think are the major
Covid-19 will certainly be a great
many ways. How do you feel you’ve
increasingly deteriorating environment
Personally I’ve grown in my understanding
at Aberdeen Hall?
coming years.
Since September 2018
Speaking of the future, what are your
the last year?
Over the past year, I have learned the
personally changed or grown over the last year?
will also be of great concern in the
personally changed or grown over
2020 has been a year of transition in
to face over the next few years. The
How long have you been a student
many ways. How do you feel you’ve
at Aberdeen Hall?
This is my sixth year at Aberdeen Hall.
challenge that the world will continue
2020 has been a year of transition in
How long have you been a student
challenges the world will be facing over the next five years?
ISMAIL OMAR
KADIN LOUGH-MORELLI
post-secondary plans?
I plan on attending university to study mathematics or computer science. What are your career aspirations? How do you see yourself contributing
of what people need in life and how I can help them achieve it. In this last year, more than ever, people have needed community and others around them who can be empathetic and supportive when they are going through something difficult. I strive to be someone that people feel safe with and can confide in, and I make myself available to help
value of the company of those around
to your community?
me. I have missed seeing my peers, but
I plan to work in mathematical modeling,
times they are having.
contributing to the community by
What changes have you seen in
I have spent a lot of time with my family and realized how much I value them. What changes have you seen in
society as a whole that you think are
a result of the political and social upheaval we’ve experienced this year? Society seems to have become more restless over the past year, I suppose
PAGE 12
providing predictions and simulations of the real world.
them to get through whatever hard
society as a whole that you think are a result of the political and social
Do you have any words of wisdom
upheaval we’ve experienced this
for future AHPS grads?
year?
Don’t worry too much.
Everyone in the world had to change their lifestyle at least a little this year, due to one of the many different situations we have faced. One of the changes
in society I’ve noticed is the growing consideration many people now have for others with regards to health restrictions, race, age, and various other differences they may have previously unintentionally overlooked. It’s inspiring to see that the world and our communities have come together, grown stronger, and begun to fix the things that were previously broken in our society. How can we as a school ensure
that we are doing all we can do to transform and grow along with the changing times?
One of the key things to remember is that students need to be heard. I understand when measures are put in place for our best interest, and yes of course many of them are necessary, but it’s important to ask the student body what they think is needed to make sure everyone is comfortable in their learning environment. What do you think are the major challenges the world will be facing
Speaking of the future, what are your
design and structural engineering. I
Right now I am in the middle of finishing
through coaching, like many of my
post-secondary plans?
my applications to a couple of larger schools, such as the University of Toronto, The University of Waterloo,
hope to contribute to my community mentors have, or through volunteering in other ways. Do you have any words of wisdom
and the University of British Columbia.
for future AHPS grads?
I’m also looking into the possibility of
My only advice is not to stress too
playing post-secondary basketball at a few smaller universities and colleges in BC. I would complete a transfer program of some sort so that I could play a few years of post-secondary basketball before moving onto one of the larger universities mentioned to complete my engineering degree. Either way, I plan on going into engineering and later specializing in architecture and design as well. What are your career aspirations? How do you see yourself contributing to your community?
After post-secondary I plan on finding a
much about your future. I know it’s a hard ask and trust me I stress all the time, but don’t waste your time thinking about every little aspect of your life, and every little way it can go wrong. Apply to your universities or colleges or whatever it is for you, set yourself up for success, and give yourself as many options as possible when deciding how you are going to live your life. Once you close a door it’s hard to open it back up, and you never know when you’re going to want to completely change your direction and go through a different door.
career within the realm of architectural
over the next five years?
I think that due to the effects of Covid-19 many things have been brought to light about our society that were not apparent before. Things like mass discrimination and implicit bias are so ingrained in our society that they have existed outside many of our conscious awareness. However, these biases are real, that has really been brought to light this year, and I think we are more aware of our own biases than ever before. Because of this, I think there are going to be many changes to our political system and our social structures over the next five years to overcome these adversities.
Congratulations to the class of 2021. Their determination and resilience have given us great hope for the future and they have proven that they have what it takes to be successful, no matter what.
PAGE 13
PAGE 14
Photo Credit: Melissa Carl
TRANSFORMING THE ORDINARY INTO THE EXTRAORDINARY “Good morning! How are you today?...Mask on, don’t forget to sanitize your hands!” It’s a greeting that
that when so many parts of our lives
can be frustrating. And in times such as
are ever-changing and unpredictable,
these, where so many things feel new
walking into a place each day where
and difficult, it can be easy to feel that
you can absolutely count on a few
these little hallmarks of adolescence
certainties helps to ground both our
are overwhelming. But what if we
teachers and our students. So we start
considered these mundane things to
countless times each morning. As
with the basics, when you can count on:
be gifts of normalcy rather than added
students slow down, shift their bags
• being greeted by your name and with
stressors? What changes could be
precedes an exchange that happens
to one side and pump sanitizer onto their hands, we chat about hockey practice, what video games they’re into right now, how their studies are going...just ordinary things. But it’s within these seemingly ordinary moments where I think the extraordinary lies. As we’ve navigated the unique challenges of Covid-19, it feels like the ordinary has become so elusive. Something to crave. Something to strive for. As the school year started and we entered into another chapter of the unknown, our Middle School team made a commitment to be anchors for ourselves and for our students. To stick to the “good stuff”; the connection, the relationships, the solid lessons, the simple joyous moments. To journey back to the ordinary, if you will. Being intentional about what is most important for the children under our care, each and every day, leads us to examine what our most basic needs are at the present time. We consider
smiling eyes • seeing the familiar, caring faces of your peers and teachers • learning in an environment where people care about your progress • having guaranteed connection points with people who are “in your corner” homeroom teachers, Ms. Nydr, Mr. Pistawka, Ms. Bryden...
...it can feel like the roots holding your tree branches down while the wind, and the world, whips around you. That is, the ordinary can feel like the extraordinary.
created by that shift in our mindset? As we head into another period of change and unpredictability in our journey through this pandemic, I ask you to join me in considering where you can find the extraordinary...it may be lying right in front of you in the subtle moments of your lives.
Hiding in plain sight; the extraordinary in the ordinary.
Science Fair projects, worries about friendships changing, proficiencies on progress reports, struggles for independence and the associated missteps; these are all very regular things that monopolize so much of our energy and attention. These very regular things can be hard, and they
By Ashley Bryden, Middle School Principal PAGE 15
There are numerous challenges international students face when they study abroad; from adapting to the local culture and integrating into a new school, to adjusting to a new home environment and using English as a primary means of communication. When you think that most of our international students face these milestones at 14 and 15 years of age, it’s amazing that they cope so well - and all while being apart from their own family. Add to this the expectation of succeeding academically in a second (or third) language and the pressure of wanting to fit in with their peers…. it’s an enormous undertaking. While the parameters of these experiences are unique to each individual, there’s no doubt that we have a stellar group of resilient young people in our midst. One teen who has successfully made the transition is Grade 11 student Jessica Cai. Passionate in embracing opportunity and determined in her pursuit of personal goals, Jessica’s experience is one example of the extraordinary accomplishments that are found throughout our halls. Two years ago this young luminary
FROM SHANGHAI TO KELOWNA
JESSICA CAI SHARES HER JOURNEY PAGE 16
made the 9,227 km trek from Shanghai, population 24 million, to Kelowna at the tender young age of 14. Inspired by a west-coast BC summer camp when she was 10 years old, Jessica was fascinated by ‘this whole new world’ and had her heart set on one day returning for a Canadian high school education. In Grade 8 and with her parents’ support, Jessica and her father spent a month researching schools in Canada, considering such factors as academic excellence, accommodation options, environmental and
geographical
considerations, population density and English immersion opportunity. Having
their support has been integral to her successful transition to life in Canada. This relationship has also fostered a greater appreciation for, and closeness to her own parents. She realizes how much her parents have sacrificed in giving her this opportunity, and she is extremely grateful. Jessica’s parents are proud of their daughter’s accomplishments; of the life skills she has acquired and how she is exploring and adapting to opportunities on this amazing journey. Like our international students, the spent Grades 6 through 9 living in
in the fragile underworld of the Cody
a boarding school in China, Jessica
Caves and hiked the 7 hour Rim Trail
knew she wanted to live with a local
at Cathedral Provincial Park. During
family and fully immerse herself in the
this time with her host family, Jessica
Canadian cultural experience. After a
has transitioned from being raised as
comprehensive search across Canada,
an only child to becoming a big sister
the Cai family chose Aberdeen Hall.
to three younger ‘siblings’, and has fully
Fast forward two and a half years, during
integrated as a much-loved member of
which time Jessica has made incredible
their family.
strides in just about every area of her
In reflecting on her transition since
life. Special accomplishments include
coming to Abderdeen Hall, Jessica
achieving Aberdeen Hall Honour Roll,
expressed that self-discipline has been
joining the Student Council, participating
crucial for success and without her
in peer mentoring and and acing
parents to rely on, she has had to become
the IELTS test (university language
more proactive, take more initiative
requirement). She is also a member
and become more organized; “Being
of the Kelowna Youth Symphony
independent helps me significantly
Orchestra, and an active volunteer with
when it comes to school work and
the Kelowna Art Gallery and the BMO
daily life”. It isn’t always easy however
Marathon.
and international students find their
Together with her host family, Jessica
own coping mechanisms to deal with
has experienced the quintessential
challenges. Jessica noted that for her,
Okanagan lifestyle; planting, harvesting
“an indispensable quality is courage.
and processing fruit and vegetables
Every one of us has experienced the
grown in the family garden, making jam
difficulty of integrating into local life.
and baking bread (from a yeast starter
Being brave encourages me to speak
she cultivated from apple seeds!) and
out in public and stay active in group
weekends spent canoeing, camping and
discussions.”
fishing throughout the interior of BC.
Jessica describes her host family as
Most recently, Jessica went spelunking
‘THE BEST’ and acknowledges that
transition for their parents isn’t without challenges. When I met Jessica’s mom and dad on a trip to Shanghai and presented them with a framed photograph of their daughter with our Head of School, her father held the gift in his hands, gazed silently at the image of his only child, and a tear rolled down his cheek. International study involves transitions on many levels and for many people. It ‘takes a village’ to nourish, support and empower our students. Aberdeen Hall and the entire school community is truly an amazing village.
By Elaine Crebo, International Coordinator PAGE 17
ALUMNI UPDATE Photo Credit: Aberdeen Hall
Ali Grieve
AHPS Alumna 2016 Western University Richard Ivey School of Business - 2020 agi@deciem.com
Alexandra Grieve
After graduating from Aberdeen Hall in 2016, I traveled cross-country to London, Ontario, where I spent the next four years at Western University. During my first two years, I studied Consumer Behaviour at the Dan Management School with my focus on attending the Richard Ivey School of Business, a goal of mine since Grade 11. Although Ivey was no walk in the park, it was the experience of a lifetime, and I am extremely grateful for my education at Aberdeen Hall which prepared me for it. From case competitions, 48Hour reports, and reading over 500 business cases, Ivey opened my eyes to the world of business, but even more so focused heavily on character development, something PAGE 18
I will always be thankful for. Before I knew it, it was the Spring of 2020 and I was graduating with my Honours of Business Administration through a Zoom call with 600 of my classmates. Although it wasn’t how I imagined it, I will be a moment I will always remember. This past summer I moved to Toronto, along with some of my great friends from Aberdeen Hall, whom I see regularly. Once settled, I began searching for employment in a very intimidating and daunting job market. I spent time speaking with LinkedIn connections, organizing many coffee chats, and even networking with Aberdeen Hall parents. From having an internship at RBC during university and being interested in marketing at school, I truly had no idea where I would end up. Thankfully, in September, I was offered a job that was the perfect fit for me. I have begun my career with DECIEM, a global beauty company, known for their brand “The Ordinary.” I am a Partnerships Associate, supporting their retailer partnerships across North America. I am so grateful to be a part of an amazing company and being in an industry I am personally very passionate about.
Lauren Taylor AHPS Alumna 2015
University of British Columbia Bachelor of Science - 2020 (Psychology and Computer Science) Thompson Rivers University Faculty of Law 2020 - present London.Tay@aol.com /londonlaurentaylor
I graduated from UBCO this spring with a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology and Computer Science. While at UBCO, I worked as a resident advisor in student housing and volunteered in multiple psychology research labs studying university and high school youth behaviour and personality.
I am involved in the Pro-Bono Students Canada program which is an organization that provides free legal services to low-income citizens and notfor-profit organizations. I am currently placed into a family law project with a Kelowna Charity organization. Being able to be hands on from the start has been an amazing experience.
Since graduating, I have started my first year of law school this September at Thompson Rivers University. My future career goals had always been to pursue the legal field in one way or another. I started with an interest in youth justice, family law, or generic civil litigation, but I
During my spare time, I work with Bryce (Alumni 2016) at the Flask Social House, through social media, menu design, and other daily operations throughout the restaurant.
am keeping an open mind through all my classes and letting my interests guide me towards a direction. The full year is being delivered virtually, but upper years and professors are doing a great job providing a sense of community and connection between everyone in the law faculty from different locations throughout Canada.
University of Victoria Bachelor of Commerce - 2019 University of Birmingham Birmingham Law School 2019-present
Simmy Sidhu AHPS Alumna 2014
simmyksidhu@hotmail.com
After graduating from Aberdeen Hall in 2014, I moved to Vancouver Island to start my undergraduate degree. I attended the University of Victoria where I completed my business degree after four years. Upon completion, I considered applying to law schools overseas as I wanted to gain international experience. Ultimately, I felt that attending an institution in the U.K made the most sense as I possess dual-citizenship and also because of the commonality that the Canadian and
This photo is from the university graduation that my family and close
friends threw for me, since we couldn’t have an in-person ceremony on campus. If any Aberdeen Hall students are looking to pursue a degree in science, psychology, or law, or want to know more about University life at UBCO, I’d be happy to answer any questions!
British legal systems share. In the fall of 2019, I was very eager to make the move to England where I attended the University of Birmingham. However, due to the pandemic, I flew back home to the Okanagan in March and completed the remainder of my academic year online. Presently, you can find me at Aberdeen helping out as a monitor and after-school homework club helper. In tandem with working part-time, I am completing my second and final year of law school remotely. While there is much uncertainty moving forward, I am very pleased to be home and back in touch with the Aberdeen Hall community!
PAGE 19
ALUMNI UPDATE [CONT.]
Reece Walsh AHPS Alumnus 2015
University of British Columbia Bachelor of Science, Honours - 2020 University of British Columbia Master of Science 2020 - present
Shay White
AHPS Alumna 2014 University of British Columbia Bachelor of Management, Honours - 2018
Chartered Professional Accountant Candidate Shay.White@ca.gt.com PAGE 20
After graduation from Aberdeen Hall, I started my post-secondary studies at the University of British Columbia (Okanagan Campus). During my time at university, I spent the first three summers as a student researcher at Interior Health under the senior medical physicist. My concluded findings on CT machine quality control, resulted in a published paper and acceptance as an oral talk at the Canadian Organization of Medical Physicists Annual Scientific Meeting. At the start of the following university term, I was also selected as part of the UBC Multidisciplinary Research Projects in Health Initiative, which involved the design and creation of a camera capable of visualizing X-rays in medical scenarios. The resulting findings from this project ended up winning top poster at the UBC Interdisciplinary Health
conference and being published at the American Association of Physics and Medicine Annual General Meeting. Concurrently with the research project, I was also hard at work completing my honours thesis on application of artificial intelligence to whiteboard handwriting recognition. With both of these projects coming to a successful resolution in early 2020, I was able to graduate with my Bachelor of Science Honours in Computer Science in June of this year. Presently, I’m nearing completion of my first term at UBCO, as a Master of Science student, where my focus is aimed at automating Canadian blood labs through application of artificial intelligence.
After graduating from Aberdeen Hall in 2014, I pursued my Bachelor’s degree in Management with a specialization in Accounting and graduated from UBC Okanagan with Honours in 2018. During my time at university, I was able to get involved with the Management Student
Since graduating from UBCO, I have worked for Grant Thornton, an accounting firm here in Kelowna specializing in providing audit, tax and advisory services to dynamic privately owned and public sector organizations. In September 2020, I was able to
Association on campus as well as JDC West which hosts case competitions throughout Western Canada. My time at Aberdeen Hall certainly helped prepare me with the time management and public speaking skills I would require throughout my time at university; skills that continue to be an asset in the workforce. I will always be grateful for the experiences I had at Aberdeen Hall as they shaped me into the person I am today, and I will always remember the amazing community and support I had throughout my schooling.
rknwalsh@gmail.com
successfully complete the Common Final Exam (CFE) and am in the process of finishing my required experience to officially become a Chartered Professional Accountant (CPA). Over the summer, I was also able to get into long distance running and completed two half-marathons (albeit virtually – so a great activity to do in a pandemic, I’d say!). I am excited for what the future holds and am so grateful for opportunities to keep in touch with the Aberdeen Hall community.
R DON OU O
H
. . . u yo NO R S
O
D
S
THAN K
k n a Th T
R
S
T
O
R
WITH STRONG DONOR SUPPORT, OPPORTUNITIES ABOUND FOR OUR STUDENTS. A
NK S
T O
OU
Your annual, capital, and legacy GIFTS help make Aberdeen Hall the very best it can be - now, and in the future.
To be part of our culture of philanthropy contact Kylee Wilson, Admissions and Development Coordinator kylee.wilson@aberdeenhall.com
aberdeenhall.com/giving/online-donations
PAGE 21
Mr. Ozechowsky (R) with his father Ozzie (L) and son Braeden (AHPS 2020).
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE OLIVES When I was in high school I read Kafka’s novella “The Metamorphosis’’. It’s a tragic tale of a young man who woke up one morning only to discover he’d changed into a giant insect. At the time, I’m pretty sure I didn’t have a clue what the metaphorical transformation was all about.
Now, after years of reflection, I think I have a better understanding of what the story means to me. Olives.
My metamorphosis did not involve “monstrous vermin.” It was olives that transformed me. Let me explain. My father was a businessman, and my family moved PAGE 22
around a bit when I was young. We hopped from Montreal to London, then to Ottawa and finally Toronto. For a while it felt like I was always saying goodbye to friends, and hello to strangers. I was the new kid a lot. When we moved to Toronto, it was already the summer. Most of the kids on my street were gone, visiting their cottages or working summer jobs. It was a bit lonely. So I gravitated a bit to books and video games. I think my father saw this. Now, he was a busy guy, travelling around the country all the time, so he wasn’t always home. But when he was, he spent his spare time puttering in the garage. Inevitably, he would holler into the house, “Scruff”, (that’s what he called me) “Scruff, can you help me in
the garage for an hour?” So, with a grunt of disapproval I would step away from my Apple II computer games and head out into the garage. Sawdust hung in the air like a curtain, and the smell of power tools and grease assaulted my nostrils. And there, I would
hold lumber, sweep dust and search for Phillips screwdrivers for what felt like an eternity until my mother called us for dinner. Eventually summer turned to fall, and I headed off to high school. I made some friends, and life moved on. Soon my free time was devoted to street hockey, football and the occasional Dungeons and Dragons game. For me, the garage time dwindled. But my father still came into the house every Saturday night with sawdust in his hair. The days stretched
to months, and years passed by. One day, near the end of my Grade 12 year, Dad came into the kitchen. “Throw on some shoes Scruff, I need your help” I groaned, because that’s what teenagers are supposed to do, and shuffled mournfully down the driveway. We drove 3 hours north that day, leaving the concrete and car exhaust of the city and entering the lakes and forests of cottage country. On the way, Dad told me that we were checking out some lakefront property that he and my mother were considering building a cottage on. Now, it is important to note that I was pretty close to the end of high school, and university was beckoning me on the horizon. Building a cottage at this point was not very high on my list of priorities. Nonetheless, we spent that afternoon trudging through the overgrown forest by a bug infested lake in the Muskokas. I remember the ominous clouds of blackflies that swarmed us relentlessly, I recall horseflies the size of Volkswagens, and I can still feel the slapping sting of pine branches scraping my face as we scrambled through the brush. Eventually we found the lake, and we took a seat on a large outcropping of rock that jutted into the water. The air was still. And I sat for a while with my father looking at the sunlight as it glimmered on the surface of the lake, warming my face. Somewhere in the distance a loon wailed, and the call echoed eerily around the water’s edge. We sat in solitude. My dad reached into the bag he had squirreled away someplace, and pulled a jar of olives. They weren’t fancy, and I had never really developed a taste for them. Nonetheless, we sat
together, in the quiet, enjoying each other’s company, staring at the lake and eating olives. After a while, my father turned and asked “What do you think Scruff, should we buy it?”
That’s when it hit me. He valued my opinion. I was just a kid, but my ideas mattered to him. It was like a wave of pride swelled within me as I told him, “Sure, I think this place would work great, dad” and I popped the last olive into my mouth. Soon I headed off to university, and the cottage slowly took shape. Dad spent less time in the garage, and more time up north building decks, and installing floors. I didn’t spend a lot of time up there. I was busy with the intricacies of my own life. Days stretched into months, and years passed by. My father passed away about 5 years ago. At the funeral his friends shared their stories, they discussed his sense of humour, they told stories about how helpful he could be. They discussed his legacy, his successful business, and the cottage he built with my mother.
I guess what this taught me is that people don’t always remember what you teach, what you look like, or how popular you are. They remember how you made them feel. All those days in the garage, and that afternoon by the lake, my dad made me feel valuable. Somebody believed in me, and that mattered. Knowing this helped me make the transformation from an insecure boy, to a more confident young man.
That’s a lesson I will never forget. As we navigate what has been a challenging 2020, this message has never been more important. Making the transformation from child, to teenager, and into an adult can be tricky for all of us. Fortunately, our school has been founded on the premise that students learn best when they feel valued, when they trust their teacher, and when they know that someone believes in them. I hope that all our students understand that their teachers care for them, that they are special, and that they are part of a supportive community as they make their own transitions in life. I also hope that there’ll be lots of olives in their lives… and no giant insects! Thanks Dad.
However, the most powerful memory for me was the afternoon, sitting on that rock, with those olives. The day my father taught me that I was important, that my opinions mattered, and that he believed in me. Today, when I have doubts, when I worry about what decisions I have to make, I’ll crack a jar of olives. That same old wave of pride washes through me, and the world feels a little bit less scary.
By Grant Ozechowsky, High
School Principal and Deputy Head PAGE 23
HOPE AND HEALING: SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING IN THE JUNIOR SCHOOL By Casey Turnpenny, Junior School Principal and Laura Hazeldine, Junior School Vice Principal
PAGE 24
Photo Credit: Melissa Carl
Often during Admissions interviews,
every child in our school is our parents’/
classes that are based on character
we like to ask: why Aberdeen Hall? The
guardians’ most precious commodity,
education, self-esteem, leadership,
response we hear most often relates to
and our goal as educators and leaders
and the attributes that make each of
the families’ interest in joining a special
is to ensure that every single one of
our students wonderfully unique. We
community, the kind that is unique to
our students feels valued when they
also offer small-group social-emotional
independent schools like our own. They
walk through our doors. Each student’s
learning sessions to students who need
like the idea that their child will grow
social emotional health and well-being
some extra support and attention. We
up at a school alongside positive adults
is at the forefront of every decision that
find these sessions to be incredibly
and peers, where they are recognized,
we make and every conversation that
rewarding and powerful and ensures
championed, supported, and loved.
we have.
that our students have a space where
Hearts first, then minds.
How are you doing?
they can express themselves in a
When we received the announcement in the summer that school would be back onsite in September, we were thrilled! We knew it would be challenging, but we also knew that despite the challenges, it would be tremendous, wonderful, and incredibly important. Our Junior School community had been apart for too long, and we were full of excitement that having everyone together again would fill our buckets with hope and healing. Our current state of the world has proven to be challenging in so many ways, but we collectively made a decision that we were going to meet these obstacles head on and embrace the positives that are just waiting to be discovered. We teach and encourage a growth mindset each and every day within our school community, and there is no question that this is the time when we need to put this into practice more than ever before. How do we make our student life as vibrant as ever? How do we show our students that they are physically and emotionally safe? How do we ensure that our students leave every day feeling happy and proud of what they have achieved at Aberdeen Hall? The answer to these questions is that we lead with our hearts. We know that
Do you have everything that you need to be successful today? Is there anything we can do to support you? These are daily conversations that take place in our hallways, and are the foundation for building meaningful, lifelong connections with our student
comfortable setting. We sincerely hope that your children have enjoyed their time at school over the past few months, and that you and your family have noticed the healing benefits of having them on campus. We encourage you to reach out and share with us YOUR bright spots; your “WHY” for continuing to be a part of the Aberdeen Hall community! We love having you here.
community. To ensure a safe and welcoming space is created for our young learners, the emphasis on social-emotional learning is intertwined into every facet of life in the Junior School. The “Gryphon Code” is an Aberdeen Hall program that teaches our young Gryphons about the British Columbia Core Competencies. These are sets of intellectual, personal,
Casey Turnpenny
and social and emotional proficiencies that help our students grow as educated citizens. We believe that students who practice communication skills, are critical thinkers, and demonstrate a strong work ethic, will become strong contributing citizens in their school, in their community and in their surrounding world. Additionally, we support our students’ social-emotional development through our Health and Career Education
Laura Hazeldine
PAGE 25
PROCESS OF ROUND ROCKS By Becca Nydr, School Counselor
When I asked her why she loved round
the loss, collect the pieces, and
rocks so much, she said, “Think of
figure out what’s next. Despite what
how much they go through to get that
Cinderella’s fairy godmother would like
way. Rocks aren’t formed like that; it
us to believe, it actually takes time (and
takes years and years of tumbling and
often discomfort) to navigate the bumps
bumping against things, years of water
and weathering of transformation.
running by, and years of weathering for
Very few that have visited my office
a rock to become round.” She liked the idea that people are like rocks, and that sometimes on our journey there are bumps and tumbles that cause pain and discomfort, but hopefully it all leads to
have asked why the rocks adorn the table, but if anyone does, I’m happy share my mom’s theory on people and round rocks.
something really beautiful in the end. My mom’s words have stayed with me. Photo Credit: Aberdeen Hall
In my office, I keep three round rocks beside the big cozy chair nestled in the corner. I find the smooth surface of a rock calming and its solidness grounding in a time when everything feels nebulous. But that’s not the only reason I have them in my office. All throughout my childhood, my mom collected round rocks. I never understood her fascination with them, but whenever I went on vacation or to the beach, or anywhere rocks might be, I searched for them. I knew that they mattered to her. When I came back from the beach, I would unload my pockets with the rocks I had found. Through this, I discovered that round rocks—true round rocks—were quite rare. PAGE 26
The round rocks in my office serve as a reminder of my hope for where the students I counsel will go one day. The experiences that they share with me—the pain of a break up, a fight with a friend, all those bumps and tumbles of life—are shaping and transforming them. My job is to hold space for the pain, validate their feelings, and empathize with their experience. In addition, I also try to gently remind my students of hope; that adversity and hardships are a part of the process of shaping character, building resilience, and paving the way for transformation. Sometimes, there are big divots and pieces that break off, and maybe it feels like moving forward is an impossible task. That’s where I believe counselling can help: it provides a place to mourn
The round rocks in Ms. Nydr’s office remind us that hardships are part of the process of shaping character.
Photo Credit: Stesha Jordan Photography
BECOMING A DOLPHIN PARENT TRANSFORMING FROM TEACHER TO PARENT WITH THE ADVICE OF DR. SHIMI KANG By Christina Ullyot, Director of Admissions [currently on maternity leave]
** Article written prior to Christina and Dane Ullyot becoming proud parents.
“A parent’s brain is exquisitely sensitive to every aspect of their child’s voice, smell, facial expressions, body language, and physical touch more than any other being.” Dr. Shimi Kang As I approach the next chapter of my life
privilege of getting to know so many
some require more guidance and
(parenthood), I find myself wondering
children!
reminders and others seem ingrained
what I could or should be doing in
Evidently, each child is unique. Some
to ‘follow the rules’.
find academics challenging and others
About to embark on this journey myself,
excel in the classroom. Some find
I decided to step back and reflect on the
friendships difficult and others seem to
big parenting question: “How do I raise
magnetically attract peers. Furthermore,
a healthy, happy, and self-motivated
preparation. Having been an educator for the past 10 years at Aberdeen Hall, 5 years in the classroom and 5 years in Admissions, I’ve had the absolute
PAGE 27
child?”. The task ahead seems colossal
obesity and even nearsightedness.”
yet I remain optimistic that I can create
Although we know it to be true, the
a well rounded, firmly grounded and compassionate human being (or so I hope). I am very curious about the age old debate of nature vs. nurture and how much my actual parenting skills will affect who my future child becomes, so I decided to turn to the advice of Dr. Shimi K. Kang. Shimi joined us at Aberdeen Hall February 2019 and presented to students, parents and teachers alike. Her presentation was extremely well received so naturally, her #1 National Bestseller “The Dolphin Parent” was my first stop. Dr. Kang writes, “for both mother and father (or partner)...parenting literally changes how the brain is wired. [This] super sensitivity to our children is partly why parenting is so hard.” Right away, I too could relate to the feeling (or
above is still shocking. I wanted to dig deeper into how to best help my child avoid the above stressors. Dr. Kang explains her belief of the 2 types of parents: The Tiger Parent and the Dolphin Parent, and how our parenting style does affect to a great extent who our children become.
The Tiger Parent Well intentioned but ultimately damaging, this aggressive parenting style is led by the misguided belief that life is ultimately a competition. Other terms you may have heard of include “helicopter”,”bubble wrapper” “lawn mower” or even further “snow plow”
predicted feeling) between following
parents.
your intuition amidst the fear of being
Essentially, Dr. Kang describes
the best parent possible. She goes on to outline the following statistics… “By 2020, depression is on track to be the number two cause of disease in the Western world and would be second only to heart disease. Prescription drug abuse is among the top health problems in the developed world, with youth in college being the fastestgrowing subgroup. More young people die of suicide than homicide and war combined. Around the world, we’re seeing a rise in children suffering from stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, and addiction. We’re also seeing a rise in children with ‘overexercise’ injuries and concussions from sports, as well as ‘overstudying’ problems such as PAGE 28
this parenting style as those who are fully dedicated and loving but
The Dolphin Parent Guides rather than directs and encourages rather than instructs; dolphin parents teach by example. Dr. Kang describes these parents as those who provide free time, engage and provide opportunities for play, favour community and contribution, are mindful of participation in their child’s activities (homework, friendships, sports etc.) and model good habits themselves (drinking water, fuelling with food, exercising daily, demonstrating breathing and mindfulness, limiting their own screen time and practicing healthy sleep habits). I knew right away after reading her book that I would naturally tend to be a tiger; after all, I am an A type personality, thrive on structure and chose a profession where you are responsible for teaching others. However, I knew that diving into understanding “Dolphin Parenting” was
interfere too soon by not allowing
innately the right thing to do.
their child to fail. They control the
Here are my biggest takeaways on how
environment and behaviours of their child by micromanaging each move (ie: hovering over infants, completing children’s homework, over-scheduling their extracurricular activities and even determining career paths for young adults). This is done to ensure obstacles do not get in the way of their child’s so-called “success”. But can we truly celebrate success without failure? As Dr. Kang rhetorically asks, how do we ensure our children are balanced in an unbalanced world? Smart yet happy, practical yet passionate, safe yet independent and ambitious yet altruistic, without being so involved?
to become a Dolphin Parent:
Dolphins • Aren’t on the prowl; don’t constantly compete with other species • Focus on play, exploration, sleep, exercise and social bonding (they are truly joyful and clever creatures!) • Are self-reliant yet socially connected; compassion to other pods or even other species and have been known to protect humans from shark attacks and to rescue beached whales • Band together and focus on community such as swimming in
packs to predict themselves from
• Make learning fun!
act on what they know and ultimately
predators
• Provide select positive reinforcement
feel great joy when their children are
• Remain adaptable; adapt to feed on local prey if required
Dolphin Parents therefore... • Use statements and behaviours that foster internal control for the child/ (ren) • Ask permission before giving advice • Ask open-ended questions • Change speaking/listening ratio • Review and rate benefits & drawbacks with their child/(ren) • Use statements and behaviours that emphasize commitment and support for their child/(ren) • Motivate by focusing on importance and confidence
for positive behaviours
healthy, happy, self-motivated and truly
• Avoid excessive or empty praise or
successful. They adapt to change and
emphasizing the process not the
support their children in realizing their
outcome
true potential.
• Let their child/(ren) try before stepping in or providing feedback • Help break down a problem rather than solving it • Allow and encourage reasonable risks • Do nothing! Let your child experience natural consequences
As I navigate the metaphorical parental waters myself this Fall for the first time, I look forward to using these principles and commit to remaining open about parenting discussions, continued growth & learning and lots and lots of reflection. I welcome any tips and advice
To conclude, Dr. Kang outlines that
while also understanding that failing is
dolphin parents have to choose the
part of the process. Most importantly,
dolphin way. They pay attention to
if I do become a Siberian Tiger Mama,
the special bond they have with their
please let me know!
children and use it to guide their children rather than control them. They
DECEMBER 2020 UPDATE Just over one month into being a parent,
Newborns require constant attention
tummy time etc.) Luckily, they say you
and of course, I have more questions
and without the ability to reach out to
can’t spoil a newborn so for now we
than answers!
you or describe what they need you
will continue to enjoy snuggling and
First off, as all the other parents/
become a dolphin parent naturally;
buy time until the tougher parenting
reading their every move and cry to
decisions come our way. Thank you
learn hunger cues vs. sleep cues. At
for your continued support.
guardians out there know, there is no adventure quite like raising a child. The love you feel for your child right away is absolutely indescribable and the work (albeit challenging and exhausting), is by far the most rewarding role you’ve ever played.
the same time, you are challenged not to be a tiger parent right away as well by allowing them to navigate the world around them by experiencing things they may not enjoy right away (baths, car seats, doctor’s appointments,
In The Dolphin Parent, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, expert in human motivation, and mother of three, Dr. Shimi Kang provides a guide to the art and science of inspiring children to develop their own internal drive and lifelong personal aspirations. Dr. Kang spoke at UBCO to a full house of Aberdeen Hall
Christina Ullyot
parents in February 2019. PAGE 29
AND we had to memorize the lines, lots of lines. I only practiced once and I memorized them. We had recess and PE and centers… but we haven’t had centers yet. We have a kitchen in our class and everyone wants to play in it, it’s fun. Ms. Tiffani: In Preschool you were given an award for your humour, are you still funny? Alice: Yes, kind of. Ms. Tiffani: Can you tell me a joke? Alice: How did the peacock cross the road? Ms. Tiffani: Hmmm, I don’t know, how? Alice: On a silly bus. Then. Ms. Tiffani with her 2018/2019 Preschool Class, Alice pictured bottom centre
INTERVIEW WITH MS. TIFFANI she took on the role of a big sister. She would look out for her classmates and step in if someone needed help putting on their shoes or cleaning up a mess. She loved to express herself through painting and brought laughter to the classroom each and every day. Now. Alice is now in Kindergarten with Ms. Baker and doing exceptionally well.
I had the pleasure of teaching Alice Preschool for 2 school years; she recently graduated into Kindergarten. I popped into her class to ask if we could sit and chat about transitioning into Kindergarten, and it was the highlight of my week. She sat with me, dressed as a little green alien from her holiday production, and we caught up, just like old times. In Preschool, Alice was compassionate, curious and independent (from the moment she started at nearly 3 years of age). In her family, she is the youngest sibling of 3. In the classroom, however, PAGE 30
Ms. Tiffani: Hi Alice, it is SO nice to see you, I sure miss you upstairs in Preschool! How old are you now? Alice: 5. Ms.Tiffani: So that puts you in grade 3 or 4? Alice: Noooo Kindergarten!! Ms. Baker is my teacher, she always teaches us new things. Ms. Tiffani: What does she teach you? Alice: She teaches us about Art, and does stuff on the board... and tests... spelling tests. Oh, writing! I write all the time. I write in the morning, at school and at night, I write sentences. Ms. Tiffani: Wow! That’s impressive, Alice! So if writing is your favourite subject, what is your second favourite? Alice: Playing. Ms. Tiffani: What did you do in Kindergarten today? Alice: We are doing a play. The aliens sing all of the songs
*Laughter* Ms. Tiffani: What do you remember about Preschool? Alice: I remember when I was crying for mom and you helped me. Ms. Tiffani: It can be tough to start a new chapter in life; did it get easier? Did you end up liking Preschool? Alice: I ended up loving it, and you. I didn’t want to leave. I also remember being picked to go on stage to do magic tricks. Ms. Tiffani: Yes, for the 50th Day of Preschool! That was such a hoot, I was laughing so hard I was crying. Alice: Ya! And I remember working; the primary colours are red, blue and yellow. And on our special day, we got to paint and do the calendar and be the leader. We celebrated birthdays and did the around the world song and ate treats. We had wheels once. Ms. Tiffani: Wagon Wheels? Alice: Yeah, I didn’t like them. Ms. Tiffani: Neither do I. I don’t much like marshmallows. Alice: Oh I do! I like them in s’mores... I also remember the leprechauns that left sparkles and messes all over and we tried to trap them but we never caught them, they played tricks on us and left us sparkly cookies on the last day. Ms. Tiffani: Those leprechauns made an awful lot of messes for us to clean up! Ms. Tiffani: Have you changed much
since graduating to Kindergarten? Alice: I don’t know… kind of.. yeah. Ms. Tiffani: What has changed? Alice: My writing and ummm I’m taller. I am taller than everyone in my class. Ms. Tiffani: So are you driving now then? Alice: No. You have to be like 16 to drive. Ms. Tiffani: What was your favourite part of Preschool? Alice: Having you. Ms. Tiffani: *Gush* Awe, shucks, will you come back to Preschool? Alice: Yes. But I’d be really tall. I could teach.
you’ve been in Kindergarten.
Kindergarten is Math.
Ms Rebecca: How old are you? Rosie: 5
Ms Rebecca: Tell me about your Kindergarten teachers. Rosie: Ms Baker is my science teacher and my healthcare teacher. I don’t know her favourite colour but she learned how to do beautiful art because she painted our spaceship background.
Ms Rebecca: What grade are you in? Rosie: Kindergarten Ms Rebecca: We spent two years together in preschool and had so many fun times with our class. What is your favourite memory from Preschool? Rosie: Hmmm this one is hard, I think that my favourite memory was hanging out with you a lot.
Ms W’s favourite colour is actually purple, and I know she loves teaching, not because she told me but because it’s in her face. She works so hard she needs a break. I don’t know Mrs O’connor’s favourite colour, but she is really good at spelling and math, she’s really amazing! Ms Rebecca: What’s something different about your class now? Rosie: Instead of having a board we have a smart board for everything. We use it alot, alot alot. We use it for sounds, writing, math, everything you can think of! Ms Rebecca: Have you made new friends in Kindergarten? Rosie: Oh yeah, Senna is my new friend, we like spending time together.
Then. Ms. Rebecca with her 2018/2019 Preschool Class, Alice pictured bottom left
INTERVIEW WITH MS. REBECCA Rose was in my Preschool class for two years from 2018-2020 but was always wise beyond her four years of age. Everyday she brought vibrancy to the classroom through singing, kindness and love of learning. Rose always had a way of making others feel good about themselves by giving regular compliments and cheering everyone on. My classroom is downstairs next to the Kindergarten class and It’s so nice to see Rosie continue to shine at school! Ms Rebecca: Rosie it’s so nice to see you! I’m so excited to talk to you and catch up with all the new things happening since
Ms Rebecca: What skill did you learn in Preschool that you still use today in Kindergarten? Rosie: I learned to read in preschool and now I read big books. I learned to calm myself down in preschool and I still do it all the time. I remember when I used to sit in the rocking chair in Preschool when I needed to calm down and I remember going to Ms. Tiffani’s class and teaching the other kids ways to be calm.
Ms Rebecca: Do you think you have changed now that you are in Kindergarten? Rosie: Well the thing that is different about me is that I have more responsibilities and I’m more trustworthy. Ms Rebecca: Is there anything else you want to tell me? Rosie: Well I’m learning to write Farsi, I’m learning to speak French a little bit and a lot a bit and I go to PE class in the dome because now that it’s too cold out we can’t really go to the field.
Ms Rebecca: What was your favourite activity from Preschool? Rosie: Reading. Ms Rebecca: What is your favourite activity/subject in Kindergarten? Rosie: My favourite thing to learn about in
Now. Rosie is now in Kindergarten with Mrs Wiesenthal and is as wise and outgoing as ever.
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