A FOUNDATION OF

A FOUNDATION OF INTEGRITY IN PRESCHOOL

Our Values

When I began my writing on the topic of integrity in early childhood, I first thought about how I define integrity. I defined it as an attachment to personal moral and ethical values and being a better person today, in this moment, than I was yesterday. Acting within my definition takes an awareness of my emotions and energy/mood level, a sense of others’ emotions, a desire to contribute to the long-term sense of “good” in society and an openmindedness towards others’ opinions. This, for me, has become a practice, because in order to have integrity, we have to build the skills to evaluate our feelings and then think, act and speak in a way that is in balance. As Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do is in harmony.” When we are in harmony, our choices are thoughtful, our emotions are in check and we can then act with integrity from a secure stance. This involves presence and taking the time to respond to the things that happen in life rather than react. When we can act with integrity, that also brings contentment, a peaceful and calm demeanor.

“Children are not born with integrity or the behaviors we

associate with it, including humility, social responsibility, and the courage to stand up for what they believe is right. It is derived through a process of cultural socialization— influences from all spheres of a child’s life.” Marilyn Price-

Mitchell, PhD As I thought about integrity in our preschool environment, I realized that it is a crucial part of what I have been teaching young children every year throughout my career. In the Aberdeen Montessori environment,

teaching integrity is part of Grace and Courtesy lessons. These would also include guidance on how to greet one another, how to listen to each other and how to resolve conflicts, to name a few. Integrity in preschool comes from ongoing learning about emotions and how what we say and do affects other people. Children learn moral integrity by developing alongside other people, children or adults. That’s why, as adults, it’s so important to model the behaviour we would like our young children to learn. One of the greatest advantages for children in preschool is that their learning is reinforced by other students in the collective environment. The students are around the same ages (3-5) and are therefore in the same stages of development, helping them to interact with other students meaningfully. At a young child’s level, learning integrity is also a daily practice, but this practice begins with understanding and describing one’s emotions verbally. I always refer to this in preschool as “words to say”. Once children understand what they’re feeling, there is always a kind and clear way to express feelings to others in order to be understood.

“We’re not just thinking and acting creatures, we encounter life, and this has an impact on our hearts and our bodies and when that impact is really painful and we don’t have the skills to process our feelings, it can make it very difficult to think about facts and values…”Dr. Bashir Jiwani PhD.

Preschoolers learn that other people have emotions as well; they discover other children also have feelings and personalities which may be quite different from their own. When this knowledge is gained, it opens up their deeper sense of understanding and empathy. Once children understand their own feelings the they can start to think about themselves in someone else’s situation; how would you feel if this were you? In his TEDx Talk Chilliwack: Paving the Path to Integrity, Peace and Happiness, Dr. Bashir Jiwani PhD says, “...in order to live with integrity, we actually need the skills to be able to treat each other with care and kindness, to be able to listen to each other, to understand each other’s perspectives and then to show up with a view to collaborating.”

Also, “they [children] need the skills of being able to understand their own emotions and process their own emotions and need the skills to be able to support their friends…”

His theory in this talk is outlined as integrity = critical thinking + pluralism. Critical thinking is values, facts and emotions. Pluralism is our relationship with other people and the diversity that those around us can offer in our relationships. Preschoolers can navigate emotions and “words to say” in an inclusive, diverse and equal environment with classmates of different backgrounds, cultures and traditions.

I recently spoke with some preschoolers about integrity. My question was, “If integrity means doing the right thing, even when no one is looking, name something that you do with integrity.” Some thoughtful answers came back with very little hesitation, “keeping garbage off the ground because it makes the Earth sad”, “ I wait until the other person is finished speaking before talking to them”, “helping friends know the rules”.

To make thoughtful choices and opt to do the right thing, children need first to be able to treat each other and their environments with care and kindness. To say things that are unkind in childhood only comes from a lack of ability to listen to each other and understand each other’s points of view. Building relationships and connections with others builds an environment of trust and respect where it is safe to express anything that comes up and experience the learning alongside equals. I believe integrity is a cornerstone of peace. Maria Montessori believed that peaceful children will bring about a peaceful world.

By Candie Fraczyk, Preschool Coordinator