Ab life magazine by AB life magazine

M A G A Z I N E

Issue No. 1 / Sept 2015

Male gender in God’s agenda Pastor’s Wives Appreciation

The Master 0f your STOP The world’s worst nightmare

Career inspiration Free yourself

BBR Awards

VISIT

WWW.ABLIFE.CO.ZA

Financial wellness 5 types of Relationships

Catch the fashion flow

This month in l

M A G A Z I N E

1. Church and ministry • Pastor’s wives appreciation. • Male Gender in God’s Agenda. • The role of a father in a church...

2. financial wellness 3. health • A world’s worst nightmare....

4. kids stories • A tale of a goat and turkey • The mirror

5. poetry • Knit me a jersey • Unless loves builds a house

6. relationships • 5 types of relationships

7. woman to woman • As a woman you be the of S.T.O.P • Free yourself

8. Carreers • Your background has nothing to do with your future

9. Fashion and beauty • Fashion flow

10. BBR awards 11. BIRTHDAY WISHES • September

Editor's note

T VISBLIIFE.CO.ZA W.A

Dear Beloved Readers Greetings and a warm welcome to our very first issue of AB Life Magazine! We thank God; we wouldn’t have made it to this point without him. Please take note that in the interim our magazine will be quarterly and on line. We are giving you a free gift of our first issue, going forward follow more information on our website on how to subscribe. It is my intention through this magazine to enthuse, awaken, stimulate and challenging you with Kingdom principles for a balanced life that guarantees true fulfilment. My focus is that every issue must be a call to action and I believe that this will be achieved and so much more will be shared going forward. The goal for each one of us is to have a kingdom mind-set which will keep us evolving, to our best possible lives so that we can be able to offer our best to others. What’s important is what you do with the time given to you by God and in that making sure that whatever you do it’s in line with your purpose. This first issue is filled with authors who are wonderful characters in their own right. We’ve chatted to Creseldah Ndlovu who is well known as “Mother Theresa” of Bushbuckridge Community in Mpumalanga – South Africa who shares her inner passion, dedication in serving her community, influences in living a life driven purpose and the 2015 BBR Awards she hosted. Looking in the Africa continent we are also bringing you fine details on an article titled “Male gender in God’s agenda” written by one of the best outstanding authors Dr. J Quartey which touches on root causes biblical perspectives, current challenges and also providing solutions to all men. Trust you me this will embolden men to understand their roles much better as God intended and taking responsibility and their rightful position fully. We have featured an inspiring and brilliant piece by Morongwe Raphasha – CEO of Ladies in Heels where she focuses on women, sharing her understanding about S.T.O.P. I know as you see the word S.T.O.P you wonder what is it all about, don’t waste time, self-discovery.

Also I was lucky enough to converse with the busy and delightful Radio Broadcaster and Content Producer Ndoni Radebe who focuses on how one can free herself/ himself. The magnificent Elijah Padi someone we’ve had our eye on for quite a while, who shows his mettle on being a relationship expect; in this issue he has injected us with knowledge on five types of relationships. Nokuthula Nsutsha a powerful lady who knows humble beginnings, who never allowed her background to determine her future, sharing with us in confidence her exciting career journey. As the say goes “money makes the world go round, we were humbled and honour to have a powerful article from one of the vigorous, intelligent lady Faith Dube on Financial Wellness. As we know that we cannot separate health from a balanced life, therefore we have one of the key health issue titles “the world’s worst nightmare” written by one of the shining stars coming doctor, an extra ordinary young lady whom I refer to as Dr “Dee”: Dineo Molefe. AB LIFE is also saying enough is enough why always appreciating Pastors only. We cannot discriminate or promote unfairness this is a must read article “Pastors Wife’s Appreciation”. Thanks to our team, writers for throwing in with us, and to our readers for making it all real. Also feel free to leave your comments on the website in terms of the articles to share your thoughts or ask questions or any information you may require from our magazine. KBO – KINGDOM BLESSINGS OVERFLOW on your life! Stay close, follow us on Face Book:www.facebook.com/www.ablife.co.za Twitter: @ABlife.co.za Email:info@ablife.co.za

Church & ministry

PASTOR'S WIVES APPRECIATION It’s becoming a serious concern how the church members relate to Pastor’s wives. There have been so many annotations which reflect unprofessionalism, unfairness, discriminatory from some church members when relating to Pastor’s wives. Mostly Pastors are celebrated so much and not their wives. The fact is, being a Pastor’s wife is one of the toughest callings in the ministry, being labelled as a remotest operation. Yet they still handle this with grace and smile while feeling neglected. Some are facing fatigue, stress and sense of loneliness due to all the sacrifices and challenges they go through and still not being appreciated. They always have to be open minded to their husbands unpredictable schedules. Always expected to understand the nature of their husband’s calling which pulls them to too many directions and this has an impact to their families. The fact is that each pastor’s wife is inimitable. But one thing that most of them have in common is that they have a significant and challenging God-given opportunity to influence the body of Christ in a church and the surrounding communities. But to step into the role of pastor’s wife, with all its conflicting expectations and ministry stress, pastors’ wives need a special grace, wisdom from God and to be appreciated. On the other hand in some churches it is even worse, they don’t give them the opportunity to use their gifts to serve but hence they are not respected and appreciated for their contributions. “She’s just the pastor’s wife,” some say. I believe that it is so unfair and wounding. On a serious note, no church member has the right to disrespect them neither to underrate them. She is called to use her gifts, relying on God’s strength to serve others. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in

all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen Peter 4:10-11 Tips on how to honor and celebrate your pastor’s wife 1. Pray for her 2. Don’t compare her with others 3. Celebrate her birthday, her children’s birthday, her anniversary etc. 4. Allow her to have family time 5. Encourage her 6. Support her husband 7. Love her in all seasons Love is the most best beautiful gift one can give. Let her know that you love her verbally and in action at all times. Don’t let your level of happiness at church dictate your depth of commitment and loyalty to her. WE CELEBRATE ALL THE PASTORS WIVES IN THE WORLD A SPECIAL CELEBRATION GOES TO MY PASTOR’S WIFE ELAINE SPONONO VISAGIE - RHEMA REVIVAL CENTRE - SOUTH AFRICA - MIDDELBURG. I HIGHLY CELEBRATE YOU SWEET MAMA, DYNAMIC TEACHER OF THE WORD. YOU ARE SO LOVING AND AMAZING. YOUR SWEET SMILE IS A MAGNET AND MEDICINE TO US. LOVE YOU FOREVER AND FOREVER HAS NO END! REMEMBER YOUR PASTOR’S WIFE LOVES YOU TOO; SHE DEVERSES TO BE LOVED AND CELEBRATED JUST LIKE YOUR PASTOR. LET’S CONTINOUSLY CELEBRATE BOTH THE SEED AND THE WOMB!

THE MALE GENDER IN GOD'S AGENDA THE MALE GENDER IN GOD`S AGENDER - THE MAKING OF THRIVING CHURCH BT: GEN 1: 1, 9-13,25 ( SPEAKS OF THE PRODUCTION OF ONES KIND) MALE DEFINED Biologically being the sex (either in Human, plants or animals) that produces fertilizable gametes (ova) from which offspring develop. • • • • • •

An animal that produces gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes (spermatozoa) A person who belongs to the sex that cannot have babies Without men, the church is dead! If the men are dead, the church is dead. We cannot have a thriving church without the men standing in their PLACE. WOMEN are THE BEAUTY of the Home, the church and the nation CHILDREN are THE FUTURE, the home, the church and the nation

•

MEN are THE PILLARS of the home, the church and the Nation.

WORD DEFINITION = THRIVING Booming, flourishing, prospering, prosperous ≈ successful 1. Grow vigorously = boom, expand, flourish ~ grow 2. Make steady progress; be at the high point in one’s career or reach a high point in historical significance or importance. • •

The church is good for men and when they avoid it, they suffer for it. Men are more likely to be arrested than women, die violently, commit and be victims of crimes, go to jail, be addicted and depressed. They also die more often on the job, have more heart attacks, commit suicide in greater numbers, and live shorter and poorer than women. If men want to avoid these pathologies, they must go to the church.

1. 2. 3. 4.

Men that go to church are more satisfied with life. Men that go to church have more marriage stability. Men that go to church gets out of poverty and penury. Men that go to church have greater happiness and self-esteem. 5. Men that go to church become better fathers. 6. Youngsters with religious fathers grow up more balanced and responsible. FACTS ABOUT MEN

• • •

When male energy is absent, creation does not happen. Men make things happen. Men expand the church and its influence in the world. (Check these out)

1. Men want Risk women want safety. 2. Men’s Expansionist Outlook Promotes the Church. 3. Men’s focus on the Outside World Promotes the Church. Men are always building things, creating things and subduing the earth. 4. Men’s creativity Brings Innovation to the Church (You can derive spirituality from women in the church, but you get strength from the men) 5. (Without the masculing spirit the church will turn inward.) 6. Men Bring Money to the Church when the Men are in their place in God. 7. Real Godly Men Attract Women Without dynamic, life-giving men, a church will eventually lose its women as well, especially the younger ones. 8. Men Bring Their Families to the Church • •

In the Bible, fathers led their children to the church, not the other way round. Kids that are taken to the church by mothers but not fathers are harder to keep in church.

BY: BISHOP J QUARTEY

THE ROLE OF A FATHER IN CHURCH AND AT HOME EPHESIANS 4:17-18 “This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart”: I believe we are entering into the exciting time in our Christian experience, but I also see much darkness prevailing over many believers’ mind. People are being blind of not knowing the reality of Christ within them, but to those who are rising in the realm of His Spirit they are walking in the reality of His power. God’s plan from the beginning is for Man-kind to walk in understanding beyond church; this is why when Paul is speaking

to the Ephesians he had already given them the entire view of God’s plan; His will and purpose for them but because the Ephesians walked in carnal nature they didn’t understand the plan and purpose of God. Most believers do not realize that one can be a Christian for many years and still be like a gentile in his or her mind having the understanding darkened; in this world there are only two sources of life where Man draws his character and this two sources are separated from one another, one can produce his character from carnal mind or you can produce life from the Spirit of God, the reason darkness is prevailing upon many believers minds it’s because many Christian

receive their understanding from carnal nature. PHILIPIANS 2:5 “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus” When we draw life from the Spirit of God our mind will be restored to the nature of Christ in order for us to think like the Lord Jesus Christ. The Almighty God is interested in using your mind in order for Him to bring his reality into your world because change begins from within. If you can allow the Holy Spirit to transform your mind you can have a divine change. The church of today is far from knowing God, I see many Spiritual Fathers don’t understand their spiritual sons; above all I want to thank God for His love towards us; in our time the Lord is raising Father’s who will teach

their children the ways of God. The reality of God is not in the flesh but in the Spirit when people begin to walk in carnality they miss the purpose of God, The reason why our hearts are blinded it’s because many people are walking in the natural without understanding the plan of God. One of the main ways God use to raise sons in his Kingdom is through fathers because a father is a symbol of God, this is why the spirit of Elijah must come and restore the hearts of father’s to their children, and the hearts of the children’s to their fathers. Fathering involves the loving heart and a good attitude in raising children’s. A father exhorts and comforts and implores, He also chastens

BY: APOSTLE E KAIMBI when his children does wrong. The pattern of our homes is the pattern of the kingdom of God; in our homes our children mostly does wrong and the parents are always there to guide them and support them. One day I attended a court case where a young man was charged with armed robbery and this boy was the only son to his parents. On the day of his sentence he was given twelve years in prison the father and the mother cried aloud “please pardon our son he is all we have”. Everyone in that court room looked at the young man as a criminal but his parents looked at the boy as a son regardless of the things he did. That’s how a true father should see his son and the church of today need true father’s who can raise sons without seeing anything wrong in them no matter how hard life can be and this can only happen when fathers draws their love from Christ. Today we can stand and say God is good because our heavenly father had to send His only son to come and die for us, for the voice of the Father is His son. My prayer for this generation is to see spiritual father’s go beyond natural love and love their sons from within. A father is always around for his son through thick and thin. His duty is to support his children physically and spiritually, after establishing his children through much encouragement a father does not forsake you when you fail or leave you when disagreement arise, a father not only goes with you into battles, he leads the way.

The church of today is under a spiritual attack because many fathers have given up on their sons to deal with misunderstanding that rise among them. Let me share with you what a true father did when he walked the earth Luke 5:1-3 And it came to pass, as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, He stood by the lake of Gennesaret, And saw two ships standing by the lake: But the fisherman were gone out of them, and were washing their nets. And he entered into one of the ship, which was Simon’s and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship. Notice that Jesus finds the fishermen in a state of idleness”. He saw the two ships standing by the lake, but the fishermen were gone out of them”. This was a prophetic figure of the spiritual condition of the men that He found, these fishermen where a figure of sons and Jesus was a figure of the father. They had a mighty spiritual calling of God upon their life, but they were not aware of it because the father was not present in their lives. They reduced themselves to a simple earthly life as fishermen and needed a father to bring the reality of their calling into manifestation. These men definitely believed in God and also believed in God’s prophetic voice, but they had convinced themselves into thinking that we can only be fishermen. But when Jesus came into their life as a father he made them understand that they were more than fishermen.

FINANCIAL WELLNESS

FINANCIAL WeLLNESS Have you ever thought how healthy you are financially? Do you ever ask yourself how rich people make it in life? Howdid they get it right? Well, these are the questions we should be asking ourselves everyday! I recently stumbled across three elements of Financial wellness which are: 1. Behaviour – How do we behave around finances or when blessed with financially? 2. Awareness – How aware are we of our behaviour towards finances? 3. Education – How much do we know about finances? Interesting isn’t it… We are going to embark on a journey towards understanding Financial Wellness and I trust that we will walk this journey together. On this first of many issues on Financial Wellness; let’s take a look at a few points that I feel would be a good starting point towards this long and hopefully fruitful journey.

BY: FAITH DUBE

Plan on saving money based on your budgetTake a close look at your budget and tell yourself you are going to save at least 10% of your net income. If your expenses won’t let you save that much, it might be time to cut back. Look for non-essentials that you can spend less on like eating out and entertainment. Set goals for yourself and every month try and tick off what you achieved for the month even if it’s one thing on your list of goals. Prioritize – I always say as people we need to learn not to prioritize our schedules but to schedule our priorities. That way we know what is important and what needs to be done first and what can take a back seat. If you can do this, you are well on your way to financial freedom and wellness. Remember by budgeting and planning, you are inspiring yourself to be better today than you were yesterday in terms of your finances and this helps you to keep improving day by day!

PLANNING AND BUDGETING

DIFFERENTIATING BETWEEN NEEDS AND WANTS

Life teaches us that the hardest thing about planning and budgeting in order to save our money is merely just getting started. As people we tend to think that budgets are meant for big companies and the corporate world and that makes it difficult for us to prepare our own budgets but that’s exactly where we need to start in order to save money and use that saving to pursue our financial goals. So, where do we start?

Economics 101 teaches us clearly that a need is something you

Know and Record your expenses – The first step is to know how much you’re spending. Keep records of everything you spend on in a month. That means all your groceries, toiletries, lunch at work, fuel, bond payments and so on. Categorize these and have totals for each category Draw up your budget – You now know how much you spend so you build a budget making sure that you do not spend more than you earn and there is still a little something you put in a savings plan for emergencies. Remember to include those unforeseen costs that just might happen for example your tyre bursts and has to be replaced!

have to have – cannot live without; whereas a want is a that something you don’t really need but would like to have. This is as big a hurdle to our financial wellness as is not knowing how to budget and plan. Remember one thing – The Bible makes it clear that we are stewards over our money and it further says that money is a seed that God has given us so how do we make sure that we are good stewards? Ask yourself – Do I really need to have this? If your answer is no or you can do without it then rather don’t have it and invest your money in better things instead. Ask yourself – Is it too much? How many people do we see everyday who live in these huge tripple storey mansions and its only a couple with two kids and half that house they do not use? This would make you say I

think a big house is too much for me – all I need is a nice ordinary house then I do not have to take out a huge bond – Saving cost! OR Do you really need to finance a 7 seater SUV and you are still in the planning phase of starting a family – not really! Saving cost! Choose to have things you need than those you could do without! HAVING CONTROL OVER FINANCES Do you sometimes feel like you’re living from paycheck to paycheck and there is more month than money left at the end of the month? Well, regardless of how high your income is, what really matters is how much you make compared to how much you spend. If you’re earning R2,000 and spending R1,000 a month you’d probably be less financially stressed than a person making R5,000 and spending R6,000 per month. Here are a few tips to help get you back in control over your finances: 1. Figure out where your money is currently going – you can’t manage what you don’t measure; check how much you are spending and on what – takes us back to planning and budgeting. 2. See where you can cut back – Check where you might spend less. Check whether you can’t renegotiate the interest rates on your credit cards or whether you need them at all. Check if you are paying for insurance coverage, services, memberships, or subscriptions you don’t really need? Can you be more efficient with your energy and water use to cut down on utility bills? Simply switching off your geyser when not in use and showering instead of bathing could save you thousands of Rands. 3. Set priorities – Make sure you prioritize things like your mortgage or rent payment and your car payments over unsecured debt like credit cards. The last thing you want is to lose your home or car. Not paying your credit card bills will hurt your credit score but will also make your creditors more likely to be willing to negotiate an affordable payment plan with you – try it! 4. Give yourself an allowance – Have you ever thought of paying yourself before paying anybody else – now that’s a have to do! For those of you who are married and always argue about how the other partner spends money, try this one out – it works wonders because then you both have an allowance which you can spend or save as you wish and that means you do not touch money that is set aside for important things. It also creates a healthy competitive relationship as you will want to see who saves their portion of the allowance better than the other! 5. The whole idea is to get control over your financial future. After all, you know how hard you work for your money. Don’t you want to make sure it’s working hard for you?

DON’T BE ENSLAVED TO MONEY – LET IT WORK FOR YOU A well known activist, Bantu Stephen Biko, once said, “The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.” By this he meant you are as oppressed or enslaved as you allow your mind to believe it! The same applies with financial wellness and freedom. If your mind is not liberated you will always be a slave to money instead of money working for you! Too many people feel that they are drowning in debt, they are slaves to money. What they do not understand is that if they could give themselves time to understand the facts they could be free from debt and experience financial freedom. Ask yourself the following: Is my life unpleasantly restricted because of debt? Are many of my daily activities being limited by financial obligations? Am I exercising self-discipline in my financial decisions (do I avoid impulse spending)? Do I feel my lack of money is causing me to feel like a slave to my obligations? Don’t be depressed if you don’t like some of your answers – it just means you need to make some changes to achieve the life you want.Remember if you are free from debt you are free to live! Successfully becoming free from debt is easily within your grasp no matter how deep you are in debt. Start small – start reducing your debt little by little, as you watch those debts shrink you gain confidence about your financial wellness. Stop spending money you cannot afford to spend – peace and freedom are worth more having than material things Stop spending money you do not have thereby creating more debt Choose your future – Say no to being a slave of money. BUDGET BUYING I always used to ask myself why do banks refuse to give people loans if the repayment will be more than 15% of their net income until I realised they are saving people from themselves! Budget Buying – When was the last time you shopped around for cheaper quotes on anything you consider buying? This must be your lifestyle; Check your budget for affordability before buying anything you need to buy. Determine if it’s a need or a want Check for specials, sales, mark downs when doing your shopping Ask for re-quotes on insurances As you make the above your lifestyle – Financial wellness becomes your middle name.. God Bless

ADVERTISING

health

THE WORLD's WORST NIGHTMARE: OBESITY Who is to blame, the food, the technology or the modern trend of food consumption? Well! In any case the overwhelming growing rate of people who are assuming a weight that which is above the normal average is turning the tables of world’s health system. Obesity is a medical disorder involving an excessive amount of fat accumulating in the body. It isn’t just a cosmetic concern but a risk factor to ample diseases and health problems. WHO IS OBESE? A person is considered obese when his/her body mass index, a measurement obtained by diving a person’s

weight by the square of the person’s height, exceeds 30kg/m2. This is a classification according to WHO (WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION). CAUSES Obesity is a direct consequent of the following factors: Increased consumption of calories: Unlike the olden days, modern trends brought new ways of producing food products more alluring, tasty and a diversity of food typeseven the way they are cooked’ as opposed to the 17th and 15th century. This, together with the affordability and accessibility of food

products, people tend to consume more food than in the past, thus, increasing the overall intake of calories. The present ways of storing food parcels has not only increased shelf lives of products but has greatly added obesity causative agents to an already exhaustive list of risk factors of this condition. Sedimentary lifestyle Perhaps the development of technology has been the greatest achievement in increasing the capacity and improving the living conditions of human kind. However, as every action has an equal but opposite reaction technology has brought along with it few of its own challenges which

include the following: TV and video games have markedly reduced the physical engagement of children in daily activities. Children today prefer to spend hours watching TV or playing with their cellphones other than heading outdoors to playing grounds or getting active. The evolution of washing machines, dishwashers and cars and e.t.c created a time saving phenomenon from our daily chores allowing us to have more time to ourselves but it also appear to have reduced our physical activity. Thus, instead of walking down the road to shopping centers people are now using cars to their provisions. Genetic predisposition.

BY: UPCOMING DOCTOR DINEO MOLEFE

Some people are genetically exposed to obesity. Medical conditions Certain medical conditions predispose people to obesity. For example, endocrine disorders such as Cushings syndrome, metabolic disorders (Insulin resistance diabetes) and many more Life style choices Certain lifestyle choices such as alcohol beverage intake, smoking and different diet have an effect on the development of obesity. Lack of exercise and increased fast food consumption are also lifestyle choices predisposing individuals to obesity. WHY IS IT A PROBLEM? Health Effects: Obesity has various health consequences which are attributable to the effects of increased fat mass. Certain medical conditions are a direct result of obesity for example; atherosclerosis, coronary heart diseases, hypertension, stroke, diabetes mellitus and ample of others. Psychological Effects: The worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s image of a sexy person has posed an incredible challenge on a self-defining image of many women and man, especially those that are obese. As a consequent, most women, man and children tends to have reduced self-confidence and ultimately have a very low self-esteem. Living in this highly confidence

demanding world becomes a horror to escape from each and every passing day. HOW CAN WE SOLVE IT? Establishment of effective healthy eating and weight-loss campaigns. This will not only prevent people from being obese but it will also help manage conditions dependent on lifestyle modification for management, such as hypertension. Parents should limit the hours spend on TV and Video games by their children. Playing outdoor games with kids and allowing them to choose their favorite games will increase their physical activity and exercise capacity. Individual should make it their priority to incorporate daily workouts as part of their everyday routine. A person can never stress enough the significance of a balanced diet. There are over thousands of diets some based on peoples blood groups, careers, and so on that one can choose that which best suite his/her status. Treatment of underlying conditions can give one a chance to defeat obese state. Development of programs that educates people how to eat healthy based on their socio-economic background. Drawing up of legislature to restrict certain amount of calories in food products. In conclusion obesity is not only a bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s figure state but a medical and mental state devastating issue that still needs severe hammering. Exercise, eat right and stay obese free

kids stories

A TALE OF A GOAT AND A TURKEY Once upon a time a turkey and a goat were on their way to a big animal meeting in a little farm called Rotten Egg. On their way there they started fighting and calling each other names. The goat asked the turkey, why do you have such a long and fleshy nose? The turkey looked at him angrily and said “firstly this is not called a nose dummy, it is called a snood and secondly I have it because I’m a male”. Still it looks ugly “replied the goat with a belittling accent. Well it’s not yours and you don’t have to worry about it. Why do you have such ugly eyes and smell like a skank, asked the turkey. The goat just looked at the turkey and said “be careful birdy-birdy, you might be roasted tonight”. Is it a threat asked the turkey, no it’s a warning my dear. So just make sure you sleep with one eye opened or the farmer will find you dead tomorrow ready for roasting. You won’t dare said the goat, don’t tempt me the turkey replied. You see this horns “pointing at them with a cheeky face” they are so sharp they will penetrate through your skin like a sword. Well as they concentrated on fighting, they did not hear a dog coming. It looked at the two of them exchanging harsh words and it started barking. They all got a fright and the goat started running and then the turkey followed. The dog started chasing them. As the turkey is not a fast runner he was very tired and he said to the goat “we need to stop and fight”. The goat said what? not now birdy. The turkey said “I know we were fighting but it’s time to join forces here. How are you intending to stop that pit bull, mm tell me, said the goat. Please stop so that I tell you what I think. The goat stopped and said “make it quick”. Ok, here is the plan “We need to use our strengths that is all that we have. I will puff up my body and spread my tail feathers, and start with my gobble sound. You can hide

underneath my feathers as we walked towards that pit bull, when we are closer to that bully dog you will come out and poke him with your horns. Ok let’s go for it said the goat. They partnered and executed the plan. After the goat poked the pit bull with his horns the pit bull ran away. Hurray! We have won, we have won they screamed and celebrated. From that day forward the goat and the turkey became good friends. That’s collaboration kids. When we join forces we can win any battle. BY: MORONGWE RAPHASHA

The Mirror Majola was a young boy born and raised in the deep rural area. Growing up in a very cultural family where he was taught to cook and clean and to take care of his family at an early age. His father will beat him up if anything gets lost in the house even if he knows nothing about it. His reason for beating him up was that he wants him to become the man of the house in his absentia. Though he was raised with respect he develop anger thinking he’s father hated him or he wasn’t his really father. In all that up bringing he had a dream he knew he wanted to be a successful businessman when he grows up. Time came for him to relocate to the city to leave with his aunt. His life dramatically changed as he was exposed to the city life where everything was happening so fast. Leaving with a drinking and smoking aunt was not easy for him as he was not use to this kind of life but there was nothing he can do because life seems different from the village. He was exposed in going out at night as the aunt will send him to buy alcohol and cigarette for her. His aunt would force him to take a sip of alcohol every time when she was drinking. As a young and humble boy he was he would do as he was ordered by his elder. After all the chaos in the house he would go to his room before he sleep, he will stand in front of the mirror and look at himself and see a Leader, God fearing successful businessman. His dreams and vision were never shuttered by the environment he was under. Majola lost his path as he change school and has new friends, he started drinking mixing with wrong crowed. As handsome as he was he started having many girl friends because he wanted to fit-in, absconding school and lost respect. Neighbors started to notice change in his lifestyle and reported his behavior to his school teacher as he was loosing respect of himself. His teacher forced sense in his mind as he was becoming a trouble maker. That was a wake up call for him and he realized that he has lost respect for elders and his dreams no longer matters to him. One evening he stood in front of the mirror after a long time, the reflection he saw was not the man he has become he could still see the young God fearing and successful businessman. He worked very hard to complete

his studies has he could have seen the world waiting for him in silence. He successful finishes his studies and move from his aunt’s place to another city, where his dreams and vision were waiting for him. Because of the experiences he had with his previous people he met in his life has made him be the man he always wanted to be. The same humbly man reflected on the mirror every time he looked at himself that what he was and became. MORAL OF THE STORY: You are what you want to see or become, you are not your parents reflection Nor background or upbringing. You are your own reflection not anyone’s Shadow. Believe in the person you see on the mirror in whatever Circumstances good or bad. Hold on to you inner-self. BY: APOSTLE E.S NKOSI

poetry

KNIT ME A JERSEY When I was young I called it a crush Because 5days of 7days in a week I crushed in you on every corridor My sketch book bright like art with your name Yes your name shamelessly bold Staining the other pages with grace As I lay awake next to him I dream of you Man this affair is as cold as sin Please neat me a jersey So I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t die in the coldness of your knowing heart His kisses are so stale I wonder if yours are As warm as the passion burning my dreams I wonder if you are dreaming of me Now am old I call it an instance cold fantasy Visits me every other day of the 365days To warm your place In my heart just for a night Please knit me a jersey So that I can never be cold again BY: MBALI KHUMALO

UNLESS LOVE BUILDS A HOUSE Unless love builds a house, they who build it labour in vain. They toil in pain. They are like Cains. Yes Cain... They murder their own sisters, lashing them with sweet scented deciet. Mocking them with feigned love. Living them with sworded seeds. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Yet again love is lost yet a child is born He said suffer to bring the children unto me. But by who? When the builders laboured in vain because love was feigned. Our palms did fit, our smiles were timeless. Our lips locked as though we were measured to be. We were always just that close but love was closed. So we laboured in vain and toiled in pain. Believing that perhaps if we finished building, love would not matter. I am a precious stone laid aside and hidden by hurt. I need my heart to dovetail with my fantasy so we can be a reality. I want to love you enough to crucify my wants for your needs. Perhaps one day time will stand still but still i will need time to heal the scars in my soul and maybe i will feel. I’ll pick the cards and deal, yes diamonds are exceptional, spades are worth more points but i’ll hand you hearts only because unless love builds a house, they who build it labour in vain. When love reigns, pain will be extinct. Mirror mirror on the floor i don’t mind if I am not the fairest of them all because see beauty is deceptive and it disappears. That’s why i will clothe myself in love. My love, i will be a reflection of what you see God as, your Godess. I wanna possess true love and pose as the only symbol of love’s character. Love will build this house, my heart. BY: SAMUKELISIWE MELODY MSIBI

relationsh

hips

5 types of relationships Male defined Five types of relationships by Elijah Padi We all want to have extraordinary and fulfilling relationships with those we hold dearly. Relationships can sometimes be complex, challenging and even arduous. Sometimes we leave our partners thinking they are the worst ever until we take a wrong turn and meet some “Jeepers creepers”, it is only then we realise that our partners were not bad after all. Think about it — maybe you are bored with your familiar routine, but that doesn’t mean you should get rid of it. Don’t lose something you have for something you think you want. As the famous adage goes “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” I believe that it is important to always know what you have lest you lose it. In order for you to create a fulfilling and extraordinary relationship, you have to know what kind of a relationship you are in. Now let us explore the five kinds of relationships. The Consummate: A glorious relationship full of love and passion. This is what a relationship is all about. This is where couples are experiencing fun, spontaneity, intimacy, excitement, passion, closeness, and devotion. When you are in this position you are experiencing utopia and you don’t want it to end. You are always in a happy mode, there is never a dull moment between you and your partner. Together you are always focusing on what you want and not what you fear. Your relationship takes precedence, and your partner is the most important person in your life. You see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. This is your “Phenomenal Relationship.” The Laggard: A relationship with love, but little or no passion.

The Devoid: This is where you are planning your escape. Now you’ve had it; enough is enough. You are tired of lying to yourself and your partner. You are still with your partner, but you were in the companionate relationship for so long that now you’ve got your finger on the button. Any slight mistake, you are out. You don’t feel committed to making the relationship work anymore. Maybe you are waiting for the kids to grow a bit, or go to college, maybe you are waiting for finances to get better, or maybe you are waiting for him or her to become financially stable etc. This relationship is devoid of love, friendship, or romance. It is in fact characterized by procrastination, accusations, fear, sadness, stress, and lying. Your life is slipping away. You can’t take it anymore; you need a change right now. The Loner: You are out of a relationship, but want to be in one.

Here you have a great relationship with your partner, you are deeply in love and want to be with each other. However, you no longer have the passion, juice, fun, and excitement you want. You feel more like family members than lovers. Maybe you used to have passion in the past, but now it has deteriorated due to being comfortable and complacent, or maybe you never had it in the first place. It is important that you focus on moving up to the consummate relationship. The Companionate: A relationship with not much love and not much passion. Here couples live together and are comfortable with each other, however there is no deep emotional involvement. There may be a bit of friction between the two of you, as neither of you feels very loved or wanted, or possibly you have each found ways to meet the majority of your needs outside of the relationship. The great majority of your attention, focus, and interest is on work, hobbies, children, friends and family, and not on your partner. The danger with this kind of a relationship is that, you may feel your partner is a good person – not good enough to get excited about, not bad enough to leave him. The relationship has deteriorated badly, and will only get worse as time goes by, unless you become cognizant of what is happening and turn it around.

This is a self-love moment. You have either never been in a committed relationship before, or you’ve just made your escape, or you have just been dumped. You may have been in this relationship for some time, concerned about repeating the experiences of the past relationship. You may be feeling lonely, neglected, cheated, hurt, and maybe less important, but this is where you find an opportunity to make things better for yourself and your future partner. You have enough time to reflect, and to clarify the kind of relationship you want and the kind of shifts and actions that will get you there. If you are still getting over the loss of a previous relationship, be sure that you don’t start a new relationship with destructive beliefs learned from the previous relationship. Do not rush yourself, don’t condemn yourself, and never be hard on yourself. It is important that whatever you do now will take you immediately to a consummate relationship. Now that you know about the different types of relationships, isn’t it time to create a fulfilling and extraordinary one? Before you do that, it is important for you to ask yourself the following questions: 1. What is your ultimate vision for creating a phenomenal relationship? 2. Which of the five types of relationships are you in currently? 3. If you are in a relationship, is your partner in the same type of relationship as you? How do you know that? 4. If you are not in the consummate relationship, what is preventing you from taking your relationship to that level? 5. What beliefs, behavior patterns, or emotions are preventing you from having a phenomenal relationship? 6. What fears, beliefs, or past memories can you transform, to go to the level of a consummate relationship? In our next issue we will explore the seven powers of creating a fulfilling and extraordinary relationship. “Ordinary people build normal relationships, extraordinary people build phenomenal relationships.” BY: ELIJAH PADI

woman to woman

AS A WOMAN YOU MUST BE THE MASTER OF S.T.O.P! Self-love - Tolerance - Openness - Politeness (S.T.O.P), these are powerful words to live by as women today. It will benefit you as a woman to familiarize yourself with these words and practice them daily. They will make your life a whole lot easier and very interesting to live. As a saying goes “life it’s a choice” so is practicing Self-love – Tolerance - Openness - Politeness. As women we need to be honest with ourselves and others. My father once said to me “honesty” is one element that will stop people from digging, because they will realize that there is nothing to look for in that closet. If you have nothing to hide, you will not worry about where you might have slipped. Where does it all start? It starts with this four imperative elements: S - Self Love Self-love talks about loving yourself on a daily basis no matter what. It is having the ability to be yourself and be content with what you can do and what you cannot do, what you have and what you don’t have. You begin appreciating your strengths and weaknesses and really come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you can’t change. It is about falling in love with you all over and all over again. As women we need to unconditionally love ourselves, I mean in totality - love the person that you are, love how you talk, walk, laugh, love the body that you are in, love taking care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. What I’m trying to say is stop comparing yourself because immediately you compare yourself you lose something special about yourself. As women we are nurturers by birth, hence we need to overflow for others to be nurtured. Simply put we cannot give someone something that we don’t have inside of us. Just like Newton’s 3rd law of motion “for every action there is an equal and opposite re-action”; meaning whatever you give to world you get the same thing back.

share with all of you. He said to me “Openness will make you flourish, blossom and grow like a turnip in summer”. We need to be open enough to accept criticism because you will never grow from a homogenous group, I can guarantee you that. I always say “feedback is breakfast for champions”, whether negative or positive it doesn’t matter, what matters is what you do with the feedback you received. If you want to flourish and grow into some one dynamic open up to some honest people and ask them for feedback about yourself. To learn new things you need to be open for that, don’t fool yourself, you can’t know everything and you can’t be everything, it doesn’t work that way. As women we need to understand that there is nothing wrong with being open and vulnerable, instead we should build such strong relationships with each other and create an environment that is conducive to support each other daily. I know what you are thinking right now - “they are going to use it against me!” Don’t worry, openness will give people nothing to gossip about as what they are looking for its already publicized. If you don’t practice openness you will feel disappointed and resentful because you will not get what you need, simply because the other person will not know what you need. When women suffer, and they feel like they aren’t being seen, they close off completely. From me to you, be open, don’t try and hide things, don’t try and be the brave one, allow those cracks to be seen. We all know you are not a super woman. Most importantly, open your mind, open your heart, open your house and everything you have in order to grow yourself and the women around you; you have absolutely nothing to lose. P - Politeness So how you treat yourself, you will treat others the same way. Just work on being the best you. T - Tolerance We need to be tolerant of each other as women. The issue here is addressing the ego and pride that we have. Tolerance is being able to appreciate and embrace diversity and the ability to live and let others live. You are born with the ability to exercise a fair and objective attitude towards those whose opinions, practices, religion, nationality and so on differ from yours. You just have to consciously think and practice it until it becomes a norm. As women we are the shapers in this country, now if we can stop competing and start complementing and tolerating each other, then we will win every battle we are faced with. Don’t use your own experiences to formulate opinions about other women, get to know them better first, give them a chance, you might be surprised. It is very important that you don’t allow self to come in play here, don’t even play that card ever. As women we need to guard against intolerant behaviour and create an inclusive environment where all women can grow, develop, thrive and be the best that they can be. O - Openness My father has taught me one valuable lesson that I must

You lose nothing by being polite to another woman. As nurturers and shapers we contribute a bigger percentage in grooming and raising future generations. Stop disempowering yourselves by thinking being rude is the answer, no its not, not in this time and age. Rudeness will cultivate arrogant, proud and irresponsible future generations. What I’ve observed over the years is that women treat each other badly; however they treat the opposite sex differently. I am not sure where this behaviour comes from but we cannot allow it to continue. As women we need one another; stop looking down on others because situations change with time just like the weather. You never know when you will need that same person that you’ve treated badly. Don’t under estimate anyone, because everyone has potential. It is expected of you to be polite, I’m not saying don’t be assertive. I am saying treat another woman like you will want to be treated. We are all beautiful, dynamic, special, wounded, unbalanced, challenged, vulnerable, but hey, life is too short! Just like a mirror, you can only see as much as it reflects. Apply yourself fully and give life your best shot, this world needs women like you. You are the best, when you are YOU. BY: MORONGWE RAPHASHA

BY: NDONI RADEBE

FREE YOURSELF One day I came across this peace of writing from the legend “Bob Marly” it really made me think, taking me back to some past flashes of the relationships I’ve had. I found myself in deep thoughts with so many questions coming through my mind. Let me share it with you. Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself

that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or a walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” Then the questions came flooding my mind, but what happens when you feel like you are losing that special

person, when you have so much to share but you just can’t seem to connect anymore, and when you are so broken and what you need is just that one word from him. When everything seem like its falling apart. What do you do after he has made you vulnerable to love again and he’s nowhere to be found? What do you do with all the questions that fills your mind and don’t seem to have answers. What do you do with all this love, the hopes, the memories....How do you begin to understand what is happening when you don’t even have a clue. How do you see the light when everything seem to be dark all of a sudden? How do you calm a wondering heart that seems to be torn each and every day....How do you face the fear of being let down, how do you deal with all the confusion, how you hold on when you don’t know what you are holding on to, should I let go, how do I walk away do I really have to? Aha! I know you feel me now. Once in a lifetime you find yourself trapped here isn’t it? Maybe you are currently trapped here. I have news for you, only YOU can free yourself! No matter how much you cry, who you talk to, it’s not going to change the situation nor ease the pain. Now I’m here to say, wipe the tears sweet heart, look yourself in the mirror and DECIDE to free yourself from pain of losing that which you loved the most. Accept that it’s no longer part of your life you need to move on. If anyone can decide what’s going to happen in your life right now, it’s you. You have the keys to lock and unlock your heart. You have the power to decide who comes close to you. No one decides for you what to wear every morning but yourself. Now wear your make up, wear your smile, looking good outside will influence the inside. Pick yourself up woman. Free yourself.

CAREERS

Your Background Has Got Nothing to Do With Your Future! Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your family background? I was raised by a stepfather and my mother who were both unemployed and uneducated but fortunately they supported us as children to attend school. It was never easy to be raised by unemployed parents with no source of income. In some instances one had to go to school without anything to eat and that was a challenge. How did you make a living while growing up with unemployed parents? One day I remember visiting my primary school principal to explain the situation at home that, sometimes we had nothing to eat. It was then that my school principal decided to let me do some chores at her cottage, I would wash dishes, fetch water from the river and she will compensate by giving me food to eat and buy school uniform when there was a need. In 1994 when I was 16 years of age I started my high school where I was able to work at a cotton farm

during weekends and school holidays to buy myself school uniform and I was able to use money to pay for my school trips. This experience taught me to be a responsible child and that helped in shaping the way I see life. What was your first job after grade 12? After completing my grade 12 at Gugulesizwe High School in 1998, with no money to further my studies, the better option was to get a job and I got my first job in 1999 as a domestic worker. To me that was the greatest achievement than continuing working at the farm (I was never choosy but I took every opportunity that came my way). As the first born child at home I was able to assist my mother to raise my siblings and pay for their school fees. Within 6 months I got another job at a wholesale where I was employed as a cashier, the career opportunities at the wholesale were so limited that I started looking for another job. In 2000 I was employed by a furniture

Never too old to study? The company offered me a study assistance to further my studies. I started doing my Training and Development Certificate and HR Diploma at Maccauvlei Training Institution. When the opportunity was given to me I never wasted it but I made sure that I fully focused on my studies and worked hard at the same time to balance both my part time studies and work. I had to make choices and befriended like minded people with higher goals and ambitions. After completing and graduating in 2009 at Maccauvlei I worked hard for the next promotion at work which I got.

shop where I was so committed and worked hard that I did not stay long as the cashier. I was within few months promoted to senior clerk then to credit manager. What did you do to keep your job and ensure further promotions? The furniture shop closed down early in 2003 and I came to look for work in the mining industry of Gauteng. It was like a dream come true when Gold Fields offered me a job as a temporal senior clerk under the Talent and Skills Development Department. Knowing my background I did all in my power to be an outstanding performer amongst all temporally employees. I stayed behind and worked late to ensure the all tasks given to me were completed and up to date. I got recognized through my commitment and hard work and my supervisor recommended that I should be permanently employed as a senior clerk under Talent and Skills Development Department. I got employed permanently and part of my job was to capture and do filing of Individual Career Development Plans, Performance Management Contracts, and Course Bookings. Gold Fields had so many career advancement opportunities and it was now up to me to take initiatives and I realize that my personal development was my own responsibility. I never waited for anyone to push me but I took initiative to approach my supervisor and had discussions with her about furthering my studies and enquired about getting financial assistance from the company.

Never stopped wanting to be at the Top I then registered with Vaal University of Technology in 2009 for my B-Tech in Human Resources Management. The B-Tech degree studies at Vaal gave me the competitive advantage amongst others at work, my career began to take shape, and I was given an opportunity to act on a HR Superintendent position in 2011 and I got the position. Lessons learned in life? At the end of 2011 I was asked to be the speaker at the Women in Mining Annual Seminar in February 2012 with ITC company at Gold Reef City, this was a greatest success. To me this brought a realization that your background has got nothing to do with your future. One other thing that I have learnt is that you can either choose to rise above your circumstances or blame your background for your failures Companies are doing so much to present opportunities to those who are looking for opportunities. We all have been given equal opportunities in this life and it is up to us to take them. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your source of energy and endurance? Through it all I could not have achieved these things without Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s abundant grace and faithfulness. I know that all things works together for those who love the Lord and it shall all come to pass. I still continue to grow in my faith in the Lord, believing in myself and having confidence that â&#x20AC;&#x201C; even the sky is not the limit, all you have to do is to choose to move higher in spite of your circumstances and have the vision of where you want to be in your in future. BY: NOKUTHULA NSUTSHA

fashion & beauty

BBR Awards

The Bushbuckridge awards

HOST CRESELDAR NDLOVU

The Bushbuck ridge awards were initiated by the *Creseldah Education Foundation* in association with *Bushbuckridge Local municipality* in honour of Mandela Day. The awards showcase, celebrate and profiles Bushbuck heroes who have, despite their challenging circumstances, made a remarkable contribution to the empowerment and development of our Bushbuckridge region. These individuals go out of their call of duty to make a difference with some of these initiatives creating jobs for both the initiators and community members at large.

Objectives include: â&#x20AC;˘

To showcase, celebrate and profile our heroes who have, despite their challenging circumstances, made a remarkable contribution to the empowerment and development of our Bushbuckridge region.

â&#x20AC;˘

To honour Mandela day and encourage the community to always do good and a leave legacy.

BIRTHDAY WISHES

Apostolic Ministerial fellowship BIRTHDAY WISHES GO TO: Apostle Stanley Afoakwa Evangelist Peter Donkor Pastor Emmanuel Domson

20th September 21th September 26th Spetember

May God bless you with all the things you desire, may you reach a tad more higher and get all that you truly desereve in life. We pray that every path you take becomes a free obstacles. Every step you take becomes elevated towards success. Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blessings on you on your special day. The eyes of the Lord are upon you the righteous Psalm 34:15 With love and appreciation we celebrate you Bishop J. Quartey and the AMF house