ACADSA AiR Program Spring 2016
THE TASK OF ART IS NOT TO ELIMINATE SUFFERING BUT TO GIVE A VOICE TO IT, TO FIND A FORM IN WHICH IT CAN BE EXPRESSED. EXPRESSION IS ITSELF TRANSFORMATION; THIS IS THE MESSAGE THAT ART BRINGS. - Stephen K. Levine
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FORwaRd MANDATE To facilitate a research driven arts + design program whose goal is to raise awareness towards mental health issues while ofering students the opportunity to gain hands on pracical skills related to their ield of study.
WHAT IS IT? The ACADSA AiR Program is a pilot project developed by the ACAD Students’ Associaion. Each residency will have its own central theme related to mental health issues currently experienced by post-secondary students. •
Skin will focus on self-esteem, body-image and eaing disorders
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Melancholia will focus on depression, and anxiety.
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Vice will focus on addicive and compulsive behaviors.
Drawing on these themes, the AiR Program invites paricipants to explore concerns that are afecing postsecondary students in a creaive and innovaive way. The AiR Program asks students to collaborate on researching, developing, creaing and curaing an exhibiion that allows our community to safely explore these themes while ofering hands-on experiences that directly relate to the ields of art + design. Through group discussions, relecion, individual studio ime, criiques, and workshops this residency will provide a plaform for a diversity of creaive acivity that aims to raise awareness of the issues that are afecing the health +
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aBOuT ThE aCadSa aRTIST-IN-RESIdENCE (aiR) pROgRaM wellbeing of post-secondary students, while also connecing members from diferent disciples in the college. Arists working across all mediums who share a deep interest in these issues are invited to gather, brainstorm and create. Over the past year ACADSA has coninued to support student wellness through innovaive channels. The growth of the Arist-in-Residence (AiR) program provided an educaional experience for the student paricipants, and empowered them to educate and desigmaize mental health within our community in the creaive language that speaks to the ACAD populaion. For the irst ime, the AiR program incorporated a student mentorship opportunity for previous paricipants, ofering two senior students the chance to guide the residency. Opening up the doors to peer to peer mentorship not only educates the mentors, it strengthens the student community.
HOW IS IT FUNDED? The ACADSA AiR Program is part of a larger provincial wide iniiaive and is funded by the Alberta Campus Mental Health Innovaion fund. Students’ Associaions across Alberta have had the opportunity, through the Alberta Students’ Execuive Council, a provincial lobby group that ACADSA is a member of, to apply for funding in order to support mental health iniiaives on campus. Each associaion is asked to consider the uniqueness and strengths of their campus when applying for ACMHI funding and to create a program that supports and connects with their students’ interests. If you would like to know more about the ACMHI funding, ASEC, or the ACADSA Health + Wellness Program please do not hesitate to contact any member of the ACADSA team or visit www.acadsa.ca
Forward
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CONTENTS Madonna and Idol Seeking Answers Stress Eaters Bad Future Feels Ok Insanity of the Ego Where We Wait SQUIRREL! Conined and Apart Strangling Overgrowth the peing zoo Spilling Salt Mental Health & Addicions
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Leslie Anne Todd Ashley Slemming Darryl Sinclair Jordan Schinkel Conrad Marion Sinead Ludwig-Burgess Robin Koch Reeny Hua Candace Horsburgh Brandon Giessmann Ryan Daniel-Owen Annie Belley
Emergency Numbers & Resources 28 (Calgary Area)
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lESlIE aNNE TOdd The sweet image of Madonna and Child, ater Giovanni Baista Salvi da Sassoferrato (1609 – 1685), contrasts with modern technology, appropriated from Apple’s iPhone. Mary cradles the embodiment of the Universe on her lap, yet that litle blue rectangle is more compelling. The smart phone depicted here represents any addicive substance or behavior. It also acknowledges the newly recognized addicions to the internet, smart phones, and video games.
RESpONSE
What sweet moments of rest, connecion, beauty, or peace have been missed due to intolerance of boredom? Any addicive behavior is an escape from something we dislike. What is so intolerable about this moment?
As a First Year Student, it was thrilling and challenging to be in the Arist in Residence programs. There were so many irsts for me – working on art projects that would be exhibited, and overtly mixing my interests in mental health and art.
Some view addicive behavior as atempts to ill a spiritual void. AA, and all subsequent 12-step programs, grew out of a religious base. The ancient spiritual pracices such as silence, solitude, prayer and meditaion may yet have something to teach us about living today.
As a ‘mature’ student, I was impressed with my younger colleagues, at their aristry, and conidence. I am so pleased for them, how they are grappling with and facing their emoional well-being challenges in early adulthood. The group became more open as the weeks went by, leading to a great sense of support for, and celebraion of, one another during the installaion and show.
“Madonna and Idol” was about numbing myself out in over-work, television, and video games. Some young female viewers saw it as a comment on how precious our smartphones are, that we treat them like our own babies. Others thought the Arist’s Statement was a bit preachy; it was not intended so. Well, perhaps I was preaching to myself.
“The opposite of addicion is not sobriety. The opposite of addicion is connecion.” - Johann Hari
MEDIUM: ACRYLIC ON CANVAS
MadONNa aNd IdOl
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SEEkINg aShlEy SlEMMINg On a scale from zero to three, three being the most, in the past week how much have you felt litle interest or pleasure in doing things, felt down depressed or hopeless, felt ired or had litle energy, felt bad about yourself or felt like you have let down yourself or your family‌ Doctor’s oices are rarely if ever, in my experience, comfortable places to be. Counselling oices, as this art installaion is meant to mimic, can feel sterile, impersonal, and overall not as welcoming as they may intend to be. I created this installaion not as a mockery of our medical system or to detract from the beneits of seeking professional help, but rather to create a visual statement of the anxieies many of us face when seeking answers to our own very personal mental health quesions. No one is alone in facing these anxieies. No one is alone in feeling as though many of the systems in place to diagnose and determine treatment for mental illnesses are impersonal, agonizingly standardized, and in general do not make the paient feel at all comfortable or at ease with the quesions they have. And although the medical systems in place may not be perfect, I do believe that raising awareness about the journey involved in understanding mental health is what will help make individuals sufering with mental health related illnesses realize that they do not have to carry the weight of their quesions alone. Seeking help may not be easy, but keeping silent will not help us grow as a society of people who desperately need to defeat the sigma and create an environment where quesions surrounding mental health will not feel alienated.
RESpONSE When I was given the opportunity to paricipate in the AiR program this year, I began thinking about what I personally felt was important to say about mental health with my artwork since the residency is focused on raising awareness and breaking down sigmas associated with mental health. At irst it was diicult to pinpoint what I wanted to focus on within the residency, since there are so many relevant topics worth generaing discussion and awareness about. However, ater listening to other paricipants in the AiR program talk about their personal experiences with combaing mental health related conlicts, it encouraged me to relect on the shared experiences of mental illness and how as a community we can develop more awareness in order to break down the sigmas and prejudices which make seeking help for mental health related problems much more diicult. At that point I began to think about the imes when I have sought out answers to quesions I had about my own personal mental health as well as the mental health of my family members. I recalled many negaively-weighted memories of heightened anxiety when entering counselling spaces, doctors’ oices, or even when discussing mental health in living room spaces with family members or friends. It was at that point that I felt strongly about creaing awareness about the shared anxiety experienced by individuals who are seeking answers to their mental health related quesions, both in public and private seings. Through this residency I was able to explore the topic of mental health in an open and posiive environment along with a community of other arists who aided in expanding my understanding of the unique ways in which people experience mental illnesses, as well as the ways in which we can collecively break down the sigmas through generaing discussion and raising awareness, so that in the future seeking answers to mental health will not be the anxiety-inducing endeavor that it is today.
MEDIUM: MIXED MEDIA
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aNSwERS
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daRRyl SINClaIR Anxiety and stress are something that a lot of people feel on a daily basis. People feel stress and anxiety when they think about talking to their boss, or thinking about how to tell someone that they have a crush on them. I think that these feelings of stress and anxiety are normal, and it would actually be weird if you didn’t feel anxiety about those things. Now, imagine that feeling of stress when you think about having to stand in front of a group of people and talk about a projector worked really hard on and spent all night working on; imagine that stress and panic that surges through your body, but imagine that you feel that way about eaing your cereal in the morning. Imagine that feeling of panic and impending doom, but just because you are puing your shirt to get ready for the day. Think about that feeling of such anxiety that your palms get sweaty and you feel yourself freeze up, unable to even think, but imagine that you feel that way about every litle thing that you go through in a day; imagine that the idea of even breathing is someimes even enough to send you to that point where you think your heart is going to beat out of your chest because you just can’t handle what it feels like to even be alive. This is what living with anxiety feels like almost every single day. With my project I wanted to focus on something to be used as stress relief and to externalize your anxieies so that you no longer have to hold on to them. Anxiety is something that nobody should have to live with, so I wanted to create an object that will “listen” and absorb a person’s feelings, no mater what they are. Stress Eaters are anxiety dolls that have litle pockets in their mouths that will “eat” anything that you put in it. The main idea is that someone will write down what they are feeling anxious about and put it into the doll so that they no longer have to worry about that thing. Wriing down my feelings has always helped me to be able to cope with my anxiety. I think part of it is that wriing it down and creaing a tangible object makes it feel more real. Wriing is also a very repeiive and monotonous, yet introspecive task. The act of sewing, for me, is similar to wriing, in that it is very repeiive and meditaive, which allows me to focus and not think about my anxiety too much. Anxiety is something I feel almost every day, and I will not let it deine or rule me. But, it’s also important to know how to acknowledge when life is too much and let yourself take a break and write it down.
RESpONSE The Arist in Residence program was really fun and a great experience. Creaing work around mental health can oten be diicult, especially when I felt like I related to so many topics that I could’ve created my art around. I ended up picking melancholia and creaing work about anxiety. I sufer from a lot of anxiety and it is someimes hard to funcion. It is a crippling mental health problem and it was good to be able to talk about it openly in AiR. I feel like I’ve taken some steps to reduce the sigma of mental illness within myself and was able to feel more comfortable admiing that I needed to get help for my problem. As much as I am an advocate for mental health, someimes it’s easy to forget about your own mental health. It’s really easy to let your problems slip away unil they become too big someimes. It’s knowing when to reel yourself back in, take a good look, and admit that you need to put yourself irst before anything get out of hand. It was very interesing to see how people interacted with my piece in the AiR show. I wasn’t sure how people would react, or interact with my art since touching isn’t something that is common in art displays. I was very happy when I found so many litle notes in my Stress Eater. I mean, I’m not happy that people are feeling so anxious about stuf, but I was happy that people felt comfortable interacing with my piece. I think that people have a tendency to botle things up, which isn’t good. I want to encourage people to let go of the things that they are feeling anxious about. AiR was a good opportunity to hear from other people about mental illness. Someimes it is easy to be insensiive or to not think of how other people’s experiences with things are diferent from your own. I know that I feel that way someimes. The meeings with everyone else in AiR was good to see how other people coped with their illness or experience and frame it in a way that others may not have thought about. It was a good way to talk to other people and gain new perspecives. AiR was a comfortable place that made me think a lot about how we can try and reduce the negaive sigma of mental illness and brainstorm ways to help people. Overall, AiR was a really great experience and I would be willing to paricipate again. I would also encourage others to paricipate too, if the topic of mental health and mental illness are something that they are interested in. AiR was a good opportunity to create meaningful artwork and to paricipate in a show that people could see.
MEDIUM: FLEECE, FELT, AND BARLEY
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STRESS EaTERS 9
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Bad FuTuRE JORdaN SChINkEl Bad Future is a drawing work that combines techniques of trace, imprint, and collage to inluence the appearance of crudely drawn human forms. Elements of nervousness, melancholy, and humour imbued in these igures combine to produce an uneasy landscape of human empathy and personal struggle. The work illustrates an ambiguous and non-linear narraive; the viewer’s ability to freely associate and come to terms with what is missing creates an openly personal and inimate interpretaion, while characterisics of clarity and predictability are absent. This experience is intended to parallel certain elements of living with bipolar disorder, a perspecive and consideraion with which the arist approached this drawing. I have chosen to explore the topic Melancholia for my contribuion to the ACAD AiR program because of its impact on my own life. Myself and many loved ones have been impacted by mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and other illnesses far too common. By nature, many of these experiences are worsened by their confusingly dissociaive and abstract nature; a suferer is oten unable to seek help or refuge in dialogue simply because it is challenging or impossible to talk about or come to terms with the actual experience. My hope is that the current paradigm surrounding these topics can be shited into a realm where they are comfortably and openly explored in creaive contexts without sigmaic inluence, and Fear Bad Future and my paricipaion in the ACAD AiR program is my personal irst efort towards that goal. I believe that while diicult, it is possible to atain a level of empatheic understanding and awareness regarding mental illness through art when direct correlaions are established between a feeling evoked from a work and an arist’s consideraion for or experience with mental illness.
RESpONSE Mental illness as a whole is not an easy topic to tackle. The language surround it can be abstract and paricular, and for a suferer the experience can be diicult and triggering, The ACAD AiR Program ofered me a great opportunity to address these struggles and apprehensions within my own pracice. A theme within my work, someimes subtle and someimes not, has for a long ime naturally been mental strife and, by extension, my own experiences with bipolar disorder. The presence of these topics in my drawings especially came about as a result of my interest in human interacion in general, both on a psychological and physical level. In spite of this, its relaion to my own experiences with mental health struggles and mental illness speciically is something I acknowledge but chose not to address out of apprehension and fear – although it’s something that I’ve always felt is important to do. The experience gained through this program has given me a place to start in terms of exploring that side of my own expressions. I was given a structure which allowed me to not only observe and atempt to talk about aspects of bipolar disorder through the language of my own methodologies, but to observe my experiences and my resuling work in relaion to those of the other AiR paricipants.
MEDIUM: OIL STICKS, ACRYLIC, GRAPHITE ON PAPER AND PANEL
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CONRad MaRION
Much of my work is highly personal. I try to build pieces around issues that I have a irst-hand experience with - through that I can create work that maintains my desire to inject myself into my work. The current structure of my pracice atempts to acively engage with my personal place within the tradiional hierarchical structure of contemporary and tradiional masculinity in conjuncion with a highly romanicized wriing pracice. I explore these territories through a wide variety of projects, but most oten these exploraions manifest as video and photographic installaions
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detailing performances enacted by myself and, on occasion, a collaboraive partner. For this exhibiion, however, I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and create a sculptural piece. The topic I am working with is vice, a subject as universally relatable as it is destrucive. I wanted to chase that noion of destrucion and try to envision it in its most unvarnished form while sill staying true to my roots in text based work. I know that my work makes me feel invincible. I know that through my work I am coming to create or understand an idenity for myself that I have been pining ater for some ime.
FEElS Ok RESpONSE Though my ime in the AiR program was brief (in the grand scheme) I was hugely beneicial to my pracice. First, it allowed me a space to work with a topic I had never directly engaged in my work (vice). Vice has always been something that I danced around but never shone a light on directly. Perhaps for fear of that light being a litle too bright. In the AiR program I found a supporive group and a place of safe discourse about myriad topics. The program directors we a terriic source of direcion and extremely supporive. whether it was in our regular meeings or during one on one studio visits I felt like I had a strong support structure every step of the way from the genesis of my project idea up unil its compleion. The discussions around mental health issues as well as the current programs that exist at ACAD were very producive. It felt like our opinions and suggesions were actually being considered, most notably due to how proacive and excited Jeannie was in listening to problems some of the paricipants had faced at ACAD pertaining to their mental health and in turn ofering real soluions as well pitching ideas for future programs. In short, the AiR program was a really wonderful experience that greatly contributed to my pracice as an arist. It opened up avenues of thought and process that I had never really considered and brought them to the forefront of my pracice and resulted in the producion of a piece I am actually really proud of.
MEDIUM: ALUMINUM PIPE, BROKEN GLASS BOTTLES, COPPER FITTINGS, STRING
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INSaNITy OF ThE EgO SINEad ludwIgBuRgESS For my contribuion to the AiR program, I decided to focus on melancholia. Through my work I strive to communicate ideas that relate to temporality in dealing with anxiety and depression to further indicate methods of how to cope. The body has to listen to the mind so I feel it is important to be aware of our beliefs and thoughts which are relected in the physical body. I am intrigued in how we are in constant contradicion with ourselves with the inner dialogue we have consising of love based and fear based thoughts. In this piece I was deeply inspired by Burt Harding’s talk, “How to Heal the Fear Inside of You”, where he explains how love based thoughts are an expansion; fear based thoughts are a contracion and that life is always expressing itself in a movement of in and out, in and out. Contracion and expansion is happening all the ime. But someimes when this contracion (or fear) happens we believe it to be real and then it becomes frozen inside of us, which can result in anxiety or depression that has efects on the whole body. Acknowledging emoion as a movement of energy aids in the healing process. Seeing these states as temporary further encourages relinquishing the atachment to the selfdefeaing, limiing fear based thoughts that bind you. The steel spiral bases indicate how we are capable of spiraling out of control with the thoughts and inner dialogue we have within ourselves. The three igures reference body, mind and spirit situated at diferent heights to further imply lower and higher consciousness. I feel it is important to be aware of the physical and emoional body as well as the subconscious mind. It is vital to have communicaion between the subconscious and conscious mind to get to the root of the problem instead of trying to consciously analyze situaions. Temporality is further indicated through the form of the emancipated balloon like igures loaing midair. The message that I want to convey is that, in coping with anxiety and depression, one must be aware that these feelings, thoughts and states are temporary. From personal experiences of dealing with depression I know that it is not as easy as just changing your thoughts, although it is a start.
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Thoughts rise and thoughts fall, it won’t always be like this, so it is important to remember to not be atached to the fear based thoughts that no longer serve you.
RESpONSE My overall experience of being involved in the AiR Program was very posiive. I found the people organizing the residency to be very accommodaing, kind and welcoming to any ideas, thoughts or suggesions in working towards the show. They helped to create a very comfortable and welcoming environment to share ideas, propose ways to decrease or eliminate sigmas towards mental illness and bring awareness to mental health. I found Erin, Jane and Jeannie to be quite engaging in the meeings and were very kind in giving their ime even outside of the meeings for personal quesions related to the program. I found the meeing arrangements of having to meet every two weeks for about an hour to be quite pracical considering the busy semesters we all have as students. The ime alloted for us to get together was very reasonable and was great in terms of creaing a supporive peer group. The meeings were producive and encouraged a friendly environment to bring people together to vocalize ways to ind soluions for decreasing sigmas towards mental illness. It was really nice to engage in discussions with likeminded people that understand the downfalls of mental illness and sigmas, and that have an utmost compassion to ind soluions to bring more posiive awareness to these sensiive subjects. We also had a lot of opportunity to share more ideas through emails and social media to stay in touch and keep each other up to date on things related to the show which was great for everyone to be so connected. I feel that the show was very successful and that the Main Mall was a great space to have it in especially given the context of what the program was about in bringing this subject mater out into the public. I think the overall program was great and I am very proud to have been selected to be a part of the residency to raise awareness on mental health and to decrease sigmas towards mental illness.
MEDIUM: STEEL AND MIXED MEDIA
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whERE wE waIT ROBIN kOCh
RESpONSE
We stand in groups, we stand in lines. These impersonal interacions deining a lot of our ime. We stand alone, together. Our bodies deining ourselves. Each curvature compared to all the others. And compared to them I feel disigured, and dismembered. And their glances reassure this. Our ideniies built within the structure these glances create.
Being a part of the AiR residency confronted me with aspects of art and life that I usually tend to ignore. I consciously avoid puing too much of myself on display, but the program included discussions and exploraions that forced me to idenify things that make me uncomfortable and things that I struggle with. Dialogues were held within the group and within myself that brought me to consider aspects of aestheics, materials, environment, display, and potenial interacion. The importance of these elements increasing as I realized I was exposing personal thoughts and feelings. The program provided support within everyone’s process, and slowly introduced what we were geing into. I appreciated the inquiry and concern, and the regular conirmaion that everything was going to turn out great, before we even knew it would.
We are products of our environment. And my eforts to maneuver through them without hesitaion airms their thoughts; I am defecive. My limbs start quesioning themselves as if they had minds of their own, because they can’t rely on mine anymore. They try to disconnect from my alicions as I ask them to prove their existence. Quietly holding onto the places they’ve been in the past, even when they don’t want to go back, they quietly endure the places I take them, as I curse them in the process.
Every piece held a porion of the arist. The range of humour and viewer interacion coincided with the personality that presented it. Each person gave something to consider and a diferent way to consider it. We knew it wasn’t up to us to tell the enire story, but that each piece was essenial to the whole. And as a whole, the viewer was able to experience many diferent aspects of mental health and the efects it can have on individuals and the people around them.
MEDIUM: CERAMIC
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SQuIRREl! REENy hua
RESpONSE
The way I experience atenion-deicit hyperacivity disorder (ADHD) is unique to the skin that I’m in – hence, the chosen theme for this residency. As a visible minority and someone socialized as a girl, I am part of a demographic that is under-diagnosed with ADHD. This is because I exhibit symptoms in non-stereotypical and less detectable ways due to upbringing and geneics. As a result, I am alicted by the sigma behind ADHD because it dismisses and shuns my lived experiences.
This residency program is a big step in the right direcion when it comes to creaing a sense of comradery and relaing to peers about mental health issues. In doing so, we raise awareness to those who are unaware of our lived experiences while breaking down harmful sigmas that hurt our growth.
In the media, ADHD coverage usually tells of the following: •
That there is rampant abuse of ADHD meds among college students
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ADHD diagnoses and treatments are oten viewed as an excuse for bad parening
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It’s a boy’s disorder and is something that he grows out of
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That ADHD is not real and is a way for Big Pharma to pump drugs into our children
These stories oten centre around the idea that ADHD is made-up and that the medicaion is dangerous. In turn, people with ADHD are oten let quesioning the legiimacy of their diagnosis and wonder if they are simply lawed in character/intelligence rather than experiencing actual symptoms of a variant brain. We may reject medicaion for fear of addicion even though it is safe when used as prescribed and is well-documented as an efecive treatment. We are also taught that people with ADHD are a monolith and can only experience the disorder in one way (being hyper, misbehaved, male [insert: Dug the Talk from Dog Disney’s Up]). In reality, there are several ways to experience ADHD. Some experts say that SPECT scans show as many as seven classiicaions; the DSM-5 recognizes three.
My peers produced work that I found profound and impacful. Society teaches us to keep our sufering hidden and I was amazed by how courageously my peers presented work on very serious/vulnerable topics. It gave me a beter idea of the art I’d like to create in the future and that it’s really okay to share your deep hurts and laws. Focusing on ADHD was a good way for me to test the waters while bringing an integral part of my idenity to light. While I entertained the idea of creaing work that was more personal, I am more vulnerable and anxious than I am used to because I had just inished weaning of anidepressants. Since ADHD manifests itself the most in my schooling (ADHD + our industrialized educaion system = clash), my project brought up elements of my design major: ripped up design projects in a recycling bin. The squirrels came from internet culture stereotyping ADHD with a meme of Dug the Dog in Up yelling “Squirrel!” The squirrels are rummaging for Ritalin pills to ie the theme together. The artwork was essenially an invitaion to read the arist statement and to gain insight on the mater. All in all, this experience was a big YES and I am thankful for the opportunity to meet people I wouldn’t have otherwise met and connect to them through their art! I’d love to take part again and look forward to seeing future works.
MEDIUM: PRINT ON FOAM-CORE
When I embraced my diagnosis, my life was beter for it. At irst I worried about needlessly pathologizing my quirks and being a pill-popper, but having untreated ADHD uterly sucked in comparison. I sought treatment so that I can stop living apologeically. Now, I can simply be frustrated at myself for not keeping an eye on my ADHD without feeling like a complete waste of money, ime, and life.
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CaNdaCE hORSBuRgh I chose a iguraive sculpture ied in fabric, a reorientaion of body image. I’m an Arists that is interested in working with the body and creaing sculptures that have a skin like quality. The Air program was a great opportunity to meet others that were kind and expressed an interest in the well being of the group. I was able to express my anxiety and feel safe. I’m very happy to have been introduced to many resources and with aciviies that encourage trust and the development of a goal. The Goal in working together to produce a show of our artwork. My body lies Conined and Apart. Struggling with body image has been apart of me since I was a child, I created a body caste of my self and applied ied and knoted strips of material to the caste and pulled the body apart, and keeping the body atached with a single rope. This is a representaion of the constant struggle I feel. A distorion of what I feel when viewing my body. I’m conined by my limitaions and torn apart by my struggle with waning to be something else. Diets and Exercise are a constant struggle, the feelings and disappointment I feel when this goal of being the body Image that is constantly represented by media.
RESpONSE The Arist in Residence Program was introduced to me by a friend and member of the Air Program. I was surprized by the informaion and support I received in the program. I felt supported and encouraged towards openly discussing the diferent ways in which mental health is experienced within the group. In my life there is a mater of self love, care and compassion that is constantly a large part of my growth while paricipaing in the Air Program. The meeings and atending informaion sessions about what we or I see as mental health. I have struggled with my own body image for many years, and being comfortable in my own skin is a daily struggle. I think it is wonderful to get people to talk about our mental health, so there’s less sigma about it. Having and exhibiing our artwork on the topic of mental health is among the many helpful steps in bringing visibility to a sensiive mater of our mental health. The building of support within the group helped me to share my own struggle. Fostering trust and sharing ideas for the exhibiion was an exciing process in the making of my sculpture. The exhibiion we had showed a subjecive meaning of mental health through a range of arisic medium and content. The strength of the show, making mental health mater to all and so, opening the loor to a dialogue, which I felt happy to be a part of.
A poem: When every breath is taken Regardless of its heaviness It is consequenial Life goes on And everything will be okay
MEDIUM: FOUND FIBER
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CONFINEd aNd apaRT
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BRaNdON gIESSMaNN Exploring the link between noions of masculinity and mental health Strangling Overgrowth is an atempt at represening that relaionship ater a sexual assault. This constant lux of conlicing emoions and thoughts is oten overwhelming and frustraing, leaving the vicim in a posiion of doubt about who is to blame for their traumaizing experience. Considering the possibility you were manipulated and your body violated corrupts the idea that men are incapable of such, yet quesioning the validity of your feelings endorses the idea that a man is incapable of being raped; that he always wants it regardless. Uilizing the research and progress of previous work a triangle is used in juxtaposiion with the male igure, contoring and disruping his form to reference the mental state of one struggling with poor mental health, illness, and trauma. To discuss insecurity and the constant shiting of posiions is done through the applicaion of paint. By atemping to remove it you leave some things clear, distorted, as well as unseen. Similar to the emoions and experiences we share with others and even ourselves. Meanwhile this is done in contrast with welcoming and energeic colours, ideally to engage individuals to inspect what is taking place and recognize how dark thoughts and moments oten require efort to be noiced by others.
RESpONSE ACAD’s Arist in Residency program was a great opportunity to meet other students who were interested in creaing conversaions about mental health and illness. It’s an underlying topic of my pracice and I enjoyed entering a space where I could see how others were approaching the subject diferently through their own processes and experiences. Some of whom I don’t think I would have ever had the chance of talking to otherwise. Hearing others discuss their work, why they were making it, and what they hoped it might do was wonderful. I coninue to struggle with sharing how personal my own work can be at imes and this experience has helped push me to do that a litle bit more. Geing to ofer feedback on how we think systems of support could be improved for students was also interesing, and I hope the suggesions we heard and made somehow ind themselves being realized in the near future. ACAD does a decent job at ofering help to those who need it but I think access to those resources and creaing a more comfortable space could be improved. I’m not sure I could answer how those things could be done, but the residency allowed a group of passionate and empatheic individuals to collaborate on it, and I think the contribuions we all made were extremely valuable. In the end I was very proud of what my peers and I put into the community. I hope they were recepive to the messages conveyed and it evoked a sense of comfort, support, or moivaion. I know I’ve experienced all of those feelings during this residency and I plan on using them to coninue creaing spaces for these conversaions, ideally helping those struggling with mental health and illness to open up about the problems they are encountering so they can ind the strength and support to conquer them and coninue to grow.
MEDIUM: MIXED MEDIA
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ThE pETTINg zOO RyaN daNIElOwEN
Using the topic of Melancholia, the peing zoo is composed of three plaforms documening personal accounts of emoional and mental breakdowns. With no names and no direct links, I hope to create work that is a whispered autobiography. For this piece not only do I want to speak to my own relaionships with my mental health but I also want to speak to my relaionships with other people and more so how they were damaged or completely destroyed by what happened. The three plaforms tell three stories of relapses and I invite the viewer to stand on them. In my own pracice I speak oten on how my work exists within a place where something has already happened and the paricipants have already let.
The itle, the peing zoo, is adopted from a novel by the same name writen by Jim Carroll. The book bought for me from a used bookstore for $5.99 by a close friend in early 2012. She handed it to me following up with the fact that she completely despised the book and actually dog-eared the exact page when the whole story “began to suck” and the page was paired with an incredible note with the statement “read no farther if you want to live”. The book is about a man in late thiries, who has become a fairly famous star in the late 80’s New York art scene. Soon ater he sufers an emoional break down and Withdraws into his lot where his reality breaks and discussions of homosexuality, idenity, death, and mental illness all occur. Well, I haven’t read the book.
RESpONSE During my ime with the AiR program I felt I didn’t really connect to the content unil much later when I started actually developing the peing zoo. When I start to get bad I head deep into work to keep myself distracted from my mental health. For the AiR program I really wanted to meditate on all my breakdowns and focus of ideas of support structures. I believe the AiR program to be a really strong method to opening up discussion and really allowing arists to explore mental health. For me the process of developing the peing zoo was really based on meditaing on personal connecion to mental health and while I can say that it was extremely diicult to come to terms with many of the things that have happened, I thank the AiR Program for allowing me a space to discuss these topics comfortably in posiion where I will not be dismissed.
MEDIUM: ACRYLIC ON WOOD
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SpIllINg SalT
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aNNIE BEllEy I was diagnosed bipolar type one and admited to a pediatric psych ward two months before my 18th birthday. My psychiatrist told my parents that I was the most extreme example of mania he had ever witnessed. Alongside medicaion, the re-establishment of a rouine is the best way to come down from a manic episode, so the nurses at the Royal Alexandra Hospital worked hard to maintain consistency in my life on the ward. My days were repeiive to the point of monotony, and personal objects brought in by my family in the hopes of comforing me became cold and clinical upon being labeled with a personalized ideniicaion sicker, the same sicker that was placed on my medicaion and food trays. When I transiioned from the acute side of the ward to the recovery side, I was inally allowed to have my kniing needles. These, too, were promptly branded with the same ideniicaion label. I killed ime between electroconvulsive therapy treatments by kniing, allowing the rhythmic clicking of my needles to distract me. There was something meditaive and healing about the mindless, manual repeiion involved in kniing. Ater leaving the ward, repeiion followed me in the form of daily medicaion (1250mg of lithium, a mood stabilizer), and I resented every side efect that came with it. Eventually my psychiatrist lowered my dosage, and my hands no longer shook as a result of lithium toxicity in my blood. Four years of stability (and good behaviour) later, I’m taking only a quarter of my original dose. Now the side-efects are less severe, and I recognize the true value of my meds. I’ve grown to be comforted by them - they’re like a safety blanket… something that’s supposed to keep me sane. I rely on this comfort, so much so that when my psychiatrist suggested I was well enough to stop taking my pills altogether, I refused. I’m sill refusing. I chose to focus on the topic of Melancholia for this residency because, regardless of my emoional stability, I live in constant fear of a relapse. The things I once hated, like the forced rouine of the ward and the endless pills, have become strikingly more appealing than the prospect of succumbing to depression or mania again. For this piece, I knit a blanket in the likeness of my ideniicaion label from the ward and from my medicaion botles to relect the inherent comfort in repeiive acion. Sitch ater sitch, pill ater pill, it gets easier in ime, and with pracice, you get used to it. As efecive and relaively non-invasive as lithium is, prolonged use can be devastaing to one’s skin, liver, and kidneys. I can try to wrap myself in the comfort of my medicaion, but I know, deep down, that my body will thank me when I eventually take my psychiatrist’s advice, and start trying to maintain my mental health without the use of medicaion.
RESpONSE I applied for the 2016 ACADSA Arist in Residence Program for Mental Health Awareness because I know that millions of people sufer from a mental illness like I do. Mental health is slowly but surely becoming a topic of discussion, and I feel that it is my responsibility to contribute my story to the
conversaion. I’ve been mentally and emoionally stable for nearly 4 years now, and I know how important it is for society to see that it is possible to manage a mental illness with the right resources and support systems. I chose the topic of Melancholia as my research topic for this residency, because regardless of my stability, I sill deal with the fear of a relapse, as well as conlicing feelings towards my coninuous medicaion. These worries are a daily struggle for me, and I chose to channel those worries into my piece. A blanket is meant to provide comfort from its enveloping warmth, but for my paricular blanket, the process involved, more so than the resuling texile, was the primary source of comfort. Anyone who has knit before, or crocheted for that mater, knows that the process is so repeiive and predictable that it can become reassuring to the point of almost being boring. This aspect of kniing has allowed me to use this acivity as a sort of meditaion – a coping method. As wonderful as kniing and other meditaive aciviies have been in helping me stay healthy, I would struggle if I had to work at maintaining my mental health all on my own. I know that the main source of my stability is the support I receive from my close friends and family. Unlike a lot of people who sufer from mental health issues, I’m lucky to have amazingly supporive, present parents, as well as an older sister who quickly forgave me for all the stupid things I did while I was ill. I’m even luckier to have friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin, as well as a partner who accepts my past without judgment. Not everyone is as lucky as me. Not everyone has a readily available support system built into their personal life. What I have found to be most helpful about the AiR Program is that it works at building these kinds of support systems among peers, within a social seing. Our bi- weekly discussions involved telling our own stories, encouraging each other’s progress for our projects in the program, and sharing ideas for how to handle diicult imes in our lives. All of the advice shared was helpful, but even the simple knowledge that other people face challenges similar to mine was a huge comfort in itself, because it allows me to feel that I’m not alone. Mental health issues would be much easier to manage if every place felt like a ‘safe’ place, one where you’re not alone in your struggles. Universiies and colleges can be a stressful place for many people, and oten, one’s post-secondary insituion does not feel like a safe place to seek out help. One of our goals was to make sure that isn’t the case with ACAD. The discussions we engaged in as a group towards that goal - the goal of making our school into a place of support - felt incredibly proacive. The show we collaborated on, Tell Us How You Really Feel, felt like a irst step towards our goal because it helped in raising awareness among our peers. My theory is that awareness inevitably leads to discussion, and discussion will hopefully lead to more support, for anyone who needs it.
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CRISIS CENTRES/hOTlINES Police (non-emergency) Phone: 403-266-1234 Calgary Distress Centre Phone: 403-266-4357
RESOuRCES ON ThE aCad CaMpuS Campus Counseling Centre Phone: 403-284-7666 Campus Security Phone: 403-284-7672/403-680-1451
MENTal hEalTh & addICTIONS EMERgENCy NuMBERS & RESOuRCES (CalgaRy aREa)
Health Centre (SAIT Health Services) Address: SAIT CAMPUS (R41, Senator Burns Building) Phone: 403-284-8644
COMMuNITy RESOuRCES Calgary Counselling Centre Phone: 403-691-5591 Naive Counseling Services Phone: 403-237-7857
Distress Centre Counseling Phone: 403-266-4357 Access Mental Health Phone: 403-943-1500 Addicion Service Guide Phone: 1-866-332-2322
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TINA VIDAK (ina.vidak@gmail.com) DESIGN BY KIAH GUTOWSKI (kiah.gutowski@gmail.com)
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