OR ARTISTS TO FOCUS BRIDGING THIS GAP, CREATE OKE AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE, AS WELL AS AN AWA UT YOU WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TELL THA ADDICTION HAS AT TIMES BEEN A HEARTBREAKING S THE MELANCHOLIA RESEARCH TOPIC DEMONSTR MEANS ALONE IN THIS BY CONNECTING AND HAVIN GUE AS A GROUPED FORCE AND NOT AN INDIVIDUA RNS INTRODUCING THEMSELVES AND DESCRIBING T OURSELF, AND MENTALLY CHECKING OUT. I BEGAN IOUS FORCE THAT SNEAKS UP WITHOUT WARNING O HAVE A DIALOG WITH THESE PARTS OF MYSELF. C RIENDLY, EXCITED, FUNCTIONING; YET MOST OF THE TO GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN. THERE HAS BEEN AN AT HAVE BECOME. THE AiR PROGRAM WAS LIKE A GEN ORE OF A CODE FOR SPEAKING ABOUT PERSONAL M G, I SUDDENLY FELT EXTREMELY VULNERABLE. I BEGA D SIZES AND IT IS IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT THE ASE OR HANGNAIL ALL DESERVES TO EXIST IN ITS O OUT MENTAL ILLNESS AT THIS INSTITUTION FOR A W MING TECHNIQUES TO IMITATE SKIN-LIKE QUALITIES RENT’S FOOTSTEPS. AND ALSO HARD WHEN SOMEO THAT HOPEFULLY, WE SPARKED SOMETHING IN THE JECT WAS ON VICE AND THE CAUSATION OF ADDIC N HAS AT TIMES BEEN A HEARTBREAKING PROCESS. EALING WITH SUCH A HEAVY WEIGHT JUST BY LOOK ITION, THEN WHY AREN’T WE TALKING ABOUT IT? R
MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE ALBERTA COLLEGE OF ART AND DESIGN STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION It has been an incredible experience to be able to see all that a community like ours has been able to accomplish when we come together to support one another, and to share in each other’s’ success. ACADSA is grateful to the Alberta Campus Mental Health Innovation Fund (ACMHI) for the support of the Artist-in-Residence Program as it has empowered us to create initiatives that embrace the unique qualities of our campus, and to engage our community in ways that are relevant and meaningful to our students. The reception of the A-i-R Program has inspired us to relect on how we as an organization can support mental health and well-being on our campus, and how we can push ourselves to think outside the box in terms of how we build awareness towards these issues. Having had the fortune to have worked on the Health + Wellness program for the past two years, I can say without hesitation that the growth and momentum of this work will continue to expand, and the possibilities that arise from this program are exciting and endless. Moving forward I would hope to see new faces, new partnerships and new ideas coming together to foster a safe, inclusive, and welcoming environment where members from within and outside of the ACAD community feel comfortable and conident sharing their experience of mental illness. It is through empowering one another that we will be able to raise awareness towards the value of an educated society that provides support for those and their loved ones who are struggling with these challenges, and ensures that accessible resources are continually built and strengthened within our communities. It has been a privilege to have been able to play a part in this incredible program, and I wish all the best to this community in the coming years. “THe TASk oF ART IS noT To elIMInATe SuFFeRIng buT To gIve A voICe To IT, To FInD A FoRM In WHICH IT CAn be exPReSSeD. exPReSSIon IS ITSelF TRAnSFoRMATIon; THIS IS THe MeSSAge THAT ART bRIngS.” – Stephen k. levine Sincerely,
Sarah grodecki President Alberta College of Art + Design Students’ Association
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THE ACADSA artist-in-residenCe PROGRAM is a pilot project developed by the ACAD Students’ Association as part of the 2014-15 Health + Wellness Program. This initiative is part of a larger provincialwide student led movement where student advocates across Alberta have had the opportunity to develop unique programs to support mental health awareness campaigns, programs, and special projects on their campus. In order to provide meaningful opportunities to ACAD students, ACADSA developed the Artist in Residence Program to address issues that many postsecondary students face during their education career. The themes were selected based upon the philosophy that this program was meant to be as inclusive and broad as possible in order to allow for students to expand their creative skill set and incorporate their creative practices into the themes of the residencies.
The themes for the 2014-15 year were Skin, Melancholia, and vice which asked the participants to focus on their relationships to self-esteem, body-image and eating disorders; depression and anxiety; and addictive and compulsive behaviors. Drawing on these themes, the AiR Program invited participants to explore concerns that are affecting post-secondary students in a creative and innovative way. Students were asked to collaborate on the research, development, and the curation of an exhibition, allowing the ACAD community to safely explore these themes while simultaneously offering a hands-on experience that would directly relate to art, craft and design studies. Through group discussions, personal relection, individual studio time, critiques, and workshops, this residency provided a platform for a diverse range of creative activity that aims to raise awareness of the issues that are affecting the health + wellbeing of many post-secondary students, while also connecting members from different disciplines in the college. Artists working across all mediums who share a deep interest in these issues were invited to gather, brainstorm, and create.
HOW IT IS FUNDED
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Students’ Associations across Alberta have had the opportunity, through the Alberta Students’ executive Council, a provincial lobby group that ACADSA is a member of, to apply for funding in order to support mental health initiatives on campus through the Alberta Campus Mental Health Innovation fund. each Association is asked to consider the uniqueness and strengths of their campus when applying for ACMHI funding and to create a program that supports and connects with their student body. If you would like to know more about the ACMHI funding, ASeC, or the ACADSA Health + Wellness Program please do not hesitate to contact any member of the ACADSA team or visit www.acadsa.ca.
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PReSIDenT’S MeSSAge FoReWoRD
CONTENTS 4 7 8 10 13 14 16 18 21 22 25 26
Here It Comes Again JAne CHRISTenSen brigandine JennIFeR HARTleY Altered State AnnIe belleY You Have His eyes DenISe TRuong It Just Hasn’t been good for Awhile RYAn oWen everyone’s been Paying Attention To Me Since before It Was Appropriate JennIFeR SCHeIReR Perfect lARISSA CoSTellA Charlie kARIn MCgInn Alchemy of Repetition MARIA noWAk With each Self-Surgery I become less Convinced That What I Am Digging For Can be Removed SARAH kellY before There Was Silence RobIn koCH The larimar Collection CADenCe bReTT
LEFT TO RIGHT: ANNIE BELLEY, MARIA NOVAK, JENNIFER HARTLEY, WELLNESS CO-ORDINATOR JEANNIE GORRIE, ROBIN KOCH, ACADSA PRESIDENT SARAH GRODECKI, RYAN OWEN, JANE CHRISTENSEN, LARISSA COSTELLA, KARIN MCGINN, DENISE TRUONG
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HEREITITCOMES COMESA HERE Jane Christensen
one never feels as alone as when trying to articulate the bleakness, loneliness, dread, despair and isolation of mental illness to those who do not suffer from it. It is impossible to fathom that anyone could understand the strange world that Jane frequently inhabits. Jane’s artwork is her main outlet to portray these complex emotions, to share what cannot adequately be put into words. In this piece, her feelings are reconciled, regarding the fears experienced when knowing depression is on its way, thus - the title, “Here It Comes Again.” The top of the piece represents the movement and routine of everyday life; the depression is there, lurking in the corners of Jane’s mind. As one spirals down in the work, both literally and iguratively, the eye is drawn to where the depression begins - darkness, fear, chaos, a mass of emotions whirling about. Jane illustrates how quickly the melancholy can appear and hopes her audience can gain an insight into the devastation that depression can bring so suddenly into one’s life. This intense experience affects the life of the sufferer, but also all of the people they care for. Most importantly, each of the houses represent people who endure and believe they are alone in their circumstance; in reality, there are so many who suffer in solitary silence from depression. Jane aims to encourage others to know how vital it is to step out and be honest; appreciate who you are and know you are not alone. In recognition comes recovery.
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resPonse
My experience with the AIR program has been an integral part of my artistic and personal learning process. Working through the program I have learned more about myself, how I manage my mental health and what helps me best through it, but most importantly I have connected with others who share my struggles which has been the ultimate gift. I have learned I am by no means alone in this by connecting and having honest, real, conversations with not only people struggling with mental illness but also my peers. It has started a conversation about mental illness and that is so important to furthering awareness. I was most struck by this through not only our meetings with each other, but the most impactful moment for me was the AIR Program opening. not only did I feel proud of myself, but also of the fellow people in this program with me. It was empowering to see us not ashamed but open and honest about our struggles with mental illness. This experience is something I shall carry into the future with me by not feeling ashamed and sharing my struggles to help not only me but others from not feeling alone.
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JENNIFER HARTLEY
Jennifer’s current practice focuses on wearable art and its relationship to how the wearer is portrayed, specifically how they are transformed when they become a part of the work. by using the form of armour, Jennifer chose to present self-care as a shield and protection from mental illness. In this piece, there is a strong contrast between the material of ceramic and the subject matter of mental illness. by its nature, ceramic is both fragile and incredibly resilient to the weathering forces on earth, which she feels mirrors mental illness. Speciically focusing on anxiety and depression, Jennifer wanted to show the balanced nature of mental health, and how once these disorders set in, their effects are long lasting, and seem impossible to reverse. Representation of different body parts on each scale (the nose, stomach, brain, eye, hand, ear, and heart) focuses attention on the fact that anxiety and depression are physical disorders that affect the whole body in addition to the brain. The stigma that mental illness is a choice or the result of laziness needs to be replaced with proper care, understanding, and open ears.
BRIGANDINE BRIGANDINE BRIGANDI RESPONSE
When I applied for the AiR program, I was excited to open a dialogue about mental illness with the ACAD community. There has been an atmosphere of acceptance about mental illness at this institution for a while but opening an uninterrupted conversation on the topic was a huge step in post-secondary mental health awareness. Having an anxiety disorder myself and a few brief encounters with depression, I felt like I could bring some important topics to the discussion. However, it was important to me that I understand how mental illness affects others in my peer group. I began having conversations with my friends about their experiences with anxiety and depression, and how they perceived its effect on their body, mind, and life. Although mental illness affects each person differently, I became aware of a similarity between many that I talked to, which is that anxiety and depression feel like a malicious force that sneaks up without warning and attaches to you and like a parasite, feeds off of your energy. The notion that mental illness can be viewed as an external force is a good way to explain the disorders to someone who is ignorant on the topic, and it also makes ighting the illness feel manageable. For example, one technique in therapy is to imagine mental illness as something physical, whether it be a monster, a cage, a slime, or an anxious, younger version of yourself, and then decide how to best deal with that opposition. In addition to learning more about mental illness and how it affects others, working with other artists at the college has given me to opportunity to see how mental illness is viewed from outside perspectives. The other work that has been made for the show is of such a wide variety of materials and concepts that it has shown how universal the topic of mental health awareness is.
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annie belleY
Annie’s experience as a young adult diagnosed with bipolar disorder has greatly informed her practice. Her work explores the role her mental illness plays in deining her identity, and is very personal. The portrayal of mental illness as a universal, general phenomenon that tends to focus solely on the negative, and she believes that in portraying her own personal account she is avoiding the generalization of mental illness that has led to its stigmatization. For Annie, the reality of living with bipolar disorder differs greatly from the ampliied, misinformed way it is often portrayed in our culture. Mania and depression, while both very different, are terrifying states to ind yourself in. Annie grew up viewing depression as just another mood that was synonymous with sadness. It was talked about so little that her knowledge of it never developed further than this, to the point that, well into her teens, depression seemed like some excuse people used to get out of responsibilities. Annie was so misinformed, along with everyone around her, that when her own depression hit, nobody could igure out what was wrong. Depression is not simply sadness. For Annie, depression was no longer recognizing herself. In fact, she felt like the furthest thing from herself: weak, terrified, and lost. Feeling like the smallest thing could break her, and she felt like the qualities that make her who she is, were lost in fog. Annie chose to create a self-portrait out of thread, because of its symbolic fragility and intangible quality. both of these words, ‘fragility’ and ‘intangibility’ describe Annie’s mental state during her depression, much more accurately than ‘sadness’ can. In providing her personal vocabulary, she is displaying the complexity and reality of mental illness, which differs so greatly from what we are often persuaded to believe.
resPonse
I applied for the ACADSA Artist in Residence Program because mental health awareness is something I’ve been passionate about for a few years now. This passion is generated by my journey with my own mental illness. I chose the melancholia research topic because, though I wanted to deepen my understanding of the subject, depression and anxiety are illnesses I was already quite knowledgeable about. As a result, the sheer amount I learned on the topic over the course of the program was unanticipated. What was even more surprising, however, was the source of my learning. The bulk of my research was statistical, involving reading numbers like “In Canada, only 1 in 5 children who need mental health services receive them.” While information like this is upsetting, this research mostly just reinforced what I already knew about depression and anxiety - whereas meeting with the rest of the students in this program every
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ALTERED ALTERED other week enlightened me. Watching the progress of their projects, hearing their different interpretations of their topics, and seeing their passion drive their work opened my eyes to just how far mental health awareness has come. Therefore, the biggest shift in my perspective regarding depression and anxiety came from my peers in this program. before the AiR program, I felt like I was somewhat alone in ighting a useless battle: a battle where a lot of people are thinking about mental health issues, or experiencing them, but hardly ever talking about them. Just my own experience of watching people shift their weight uncomfortably or avoid eye contact upon listening to my own story of mental illness was almost enough to discourage me from sharing, and ultimately, raising awareness. but I felt extreme support during the Air Program meetings. not only did the other members listen attentively to my story, they willingly shared their own stories in return. What also became clear to me, particularly during the Take With Plenty of Water show, is that people are more likely to listen when a message is paired with engaging visuals. viewers were attracted to the pieces in the show, and their curiosity lead them to read the attached artist statements. A SAIT student studying to be an electrician approached me during the show to shake my hand and tell me that he had only come to ACAD to meet with a friend, but that my piece spoke to him. being able to reach someone outside of the art community was encouraging to me. Hearing others, such as my peers in the Air Program, be open about the effect mental illness has had on their life, or the lives of those around them, is evidence to me that the hardest part of mental illness issues are soon to be behind us. It’s impossible to solve a problem that doesn’t get talked about. now that everyone’s talking, we just have to get people to listen. My experience with the SAIT student was encouraging because it suggested to me a irst step in getting people to listen to mental health issues; we have to get them to see the issues irst. I believe that my peers in the Air Program and I achieved this with our pieces, and that hopefully, we sparked something in the world of mental health awareness.
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You Have His eyes is a short animation illustrating the life and dreams of a young girl whose father is a high functioning alcoholic. The girl is based off of Denise, when she was twelve. When her parents broke up, she spent a lot of time sleeping and trying to perfect lucid dreaming, thinking that if she could control her dreams, she would be able to control time and make her dreams last forever. The girl’s method of escape is sleep, in the same way her father’s method of escape from work and bills is alcohol. She personally never thought very highly of alcohol and never met anyone who was more attractive drunk than sober. Denise still stays away from alcohol as she is afraid people will see her the way she sees other people who are drunk. Denise named her animation You Have His eyes, as her mother would always compare her appearance to her dad’s. However, the girl in Denise’s’ animation can’t escape the fact that she’s related to her father. It’s dificult wondering if you’ll follow your parent’s footsteps, and also hard when someone you used to care so much about reveals themselves to be a monster. Despite Denise’s dislike for the substance, she doesn’t want this animation to try and shoo people away from alcohol. She wants people to think critically about why they’re drinking, whether it’s just to let loose or to check out.
denise truong
resPonse
I think the AiR Program was interesting. I hadn’t had an opportunity to animate in a while, and I’m glad the residency let us choose our own medium and pushed the theme of body image, anxiety, and compulsions. It’s given me a chance to explore my thoughts on alcoholism and my parents. You Have His eyes was a nice way to step out of my comfort zone when animating. I’d never done any hand drawn frame by frame animation before, and I think the outcome was decent. great practice aside, I was a little afraid of exploring alcoholism, because I don’t think I have much experience besides an aversion to it. I always found it hard to relate to people who found it enjoyable to be intoxicated. I tried drinking half a glass of whiskey midway through this project. It was awful, heheh. not incredibly awful because of the taste, but because of the way I felt afterwards. I feel awful about not being able to let go. I just can’t understand the concept of letting go of yourself, and mentally checking out. I don’t think I want to understand that in the end. besides alcoholism, exploring my relationship with my parents, mainly my father, was a lot easier I think. My dad was always distant, and loud, and angry. I think it was just the stress of work. My mom subsequently would always remind me he is still my father, and I should care for him. I think we’re a lot better now, but I still don’t see my dad very much. I think I clariied and explored my opinion on alcohol throughout this project.
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YOU YOU HAVE HAVE HIS HISE E
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B F
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IT IT JUJUST HASN’ BEEN BEEN GOOD GOOD GOO FOR FOR AA WH WHILE RESPONSE
RYAN OWEN Ryan is a drawing major focusing on mixed media & performance-based installation, focusing most of his practice on the creation of a persona and a response to mental health disorders. Through the creation of a persona he was able to remove his disorders and instead display them to the public while also removing himself from them. Ryan has accomplished this by developing a piece of wearable art that embodies these disorders and the performance is often derived of me reinforcing these ailments on to him. This idea was then developed into a persona called “Cloud Head”. During the creation of these three pieces Ryan found himself developing a further understanding of his own mental disabilities and depression. It also opened up a way for Ryan to come to terms with these parts of himself. While these pieces have a rather whimsical appearance as it’s easy to relay idioms such as “head in the clouds” and has a degree of approachability. The pieces embody a much darker dialog of anxiety, mental disorders and depression. These pieces are a representation of the varying headspaces of mental health and provide a response to mental health disorders and allow a dialog between the clouded slumped forms and the viewer. With It Just Hasn’t been good for Awhile, Ryan wanted to present a form of sprawling clouds with a heavy weight to them. Please keep Medicated, I wanted to present a more ridiculous look at a headspace of a medicated individual. In You Just Aren’t good At These kind of Things another cloud with the appearance of a weight relates to ideas of anxiety. The names of these three pieces are developed from dialogs of depression between those around Ryan and his own thoughts.
My original idea was to work with panic attacks and design wearable garments that embodied those feelings. I based initial designs and concepts on very structured garments with armor based additional pieces made from plaster. Then I completely dropped it. I instead focused my mind on what I intended to represent not only for the public but also for myself. I’ve developed a conversation with clouds and what they could potentially represent other they the whimsical correlation they are prone to. This led me to make the cloud heads. During the creation of the three pieces I developed for the AiR program I really built an understanding of my mental disorders and myself. As I endlessly needle felted my time away, I began to have a dialog with these parts of myself. each cloud head began to embody a personal interaction with my issues with depression and anxiety. Through the AiR program I have developed a further understand of my relationship to mental ailments such as depression and anxiety. I further expanded my relationship to the Cloudhead persona. The AiR program was one of the strongest experiences in my early career as it created a space for mental health, body issues, and addiction to be discussed. The AiR program helped me to question my ways of dealing with depression and anxiety while also bringing awareness to the issues presented. even in an environment such as ACAD many of the issues discussed were actually still quite taboo and were rarely understood. During the period of time Take With Plenty of Water was up I had several people approach me to discuss the issues brought forth in the show. Some even discussed what a gutsy move to create these pieces and even offered me ice cream (true story). by developing a residency such at the AiR program we open up the way to discussions on mental health, body issues, and addiction for the students. It also allowed several artists of varying mediums to meet together and discuss the issues presented by the AiR program to gather and consider. by having the AiR program the ability to discuss and create awareness on the issues central to the AiR program.
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EVERYON EVERYONE’S EVERY BEEN PAYING BEEN PA PAYING ATTENTION ATTENTION TO T TO ME SINCEM ME SIN SINCE BEFORE BEFORE IT WAS IT W WAS APPROPRIATE APPROPRIATE APPROPR JenniFer sCheirer
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Everyone’s been paying attention to me since before it was appropriate, is a collection that focuses on an immortalization of the physicality of a being through a visual interpretation of fear, discomfort, and tenderness. This body of work has been created using cast impressions of my fingerprints and palm, as well as fold forming techniques to imitate skin-like qualities in metal. Throughout childhood Jennifer had learned that the idea of individuality, as perpetuated by society, is of less value than the ability to transform into a pre-ordained archetype. With the clone-like ideals in place, Jennifer set to work in molding herself into what she imagined to be the “correct" version, in theory. The self-image that resulted was undoubtedly disastrous and she was stuck in a perpetual state of self-degradation and dissatisfaction. This discovery of self and falling into its own path has led to more than a couple revelations; each teaching Jennifer that she is the sum of all her parts, no aspect less pertinent to the development of her own person and each memorable in their own right. “She quietly expected great things to happen to her, and no doubt that’s one of the reasons why they did.” — Zelda Fitzgerald
RESPONSE
The ACADSA Artist in Residence program was a thoroughly positive experience for myself as both an artist and as someone interested in bringing awareness to different issues involved with mental health. The encouragement to focus on a speciic topic among the three that were provided: Skin, vice and Melancholia, gave each participant a gateway to provide insight in their own particular fashion. each topic was laced with enough variation that the diversity throughout the program was a vast exploration of topics and subject matter that individuals brought in from their own experiences. The contributions ranged from personal experiences with mental health issues, to positive healing work that others contributed in a way that complimented the heavier subject matter. This program has served as a very unique vessel in allowing me to explore an area of my practice that I had only begun to wonder about previously to this experience. My topic, Skin, focused on the subject matter involved with body image and the mental health issues surrounding a more physical perspective of the topic. The AiR program was like a gentle nudge to go on a mental hike through some past experiences, pushing me to piece together the reasoning and background of contributing factors that have molded me into the individual I have become. This was especially viable in the sense of looking into my artistic practice and the thought behind much of my passion and drive as a jeweller. I am motivated by the construction of an end result through small, tedious tasks, each of which as important as the last.
My pieces that I contributed to the show, created during the program were titled: “everyone’s been paying attention to me since before it was appropriate.” The primarily bronze jewellery pieces were created through a combination of lost-wax casting of impressions of my palm and ingertips, as well as through fold-forming techniques, accented with tourmaline, rubies and rhodolite garnets. The idea behind taking direct impressions of parts of my body, as well as mimicking the look of lesh in metal, is to immortalize the physicality of a being through a visual interpretation of fear, discomfort and tenderness. The reason for going about this interpretation in the manner that I have chosen is to create a sentimental bond between the individual and the experience. Whether bad or good, each mark, scar, ingerprint, crease or hangnail all deserves to exist in its own right. The smallest of things can make the biggest impact on an individual and I am working to facilitate the validation of each small experience. The importance of each part is beyond just the pure physical presence, it is the construction of a much bigger entity out of all these small pieces that make the whole entity complete and resolved. The overall experience of ACADSA’s Artist in Residence Program was extremely enlightening. The show was put together smoothly and the conversation that was stirred through the depiction of the topics by each individual artist was expansive and vital to the overall artistic community and student body at the Alberta College of Art + Design.
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larissa Costella
larissa is currently in her fourth and final year as a Painting Major. Desserts are her subject matter of choice as they are representative of home, comfort, and familiarity, and can act as a trigger for nostalgia. baking and sharing of treats is her family’s go-to signiier of special occasions, and their remedy for all troubles. There are times however when passions can turn into obsessions and her own comforts can evolve into personal issues of perfection, anxiety, indecision, and regret. Her work strikes a balance between these emotions by portraying a comforting image which has underlying tones of discomfort or anxiety, and unexplained inner feelings. This is achieved by altering the already familiar image in some way, either through scale, or use of text. larissa’s goal with her work is to produce an image of familiar subject matter that appears playful and whimsical from the colours and formal aspects, yet closer
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analysis of the content reveals a deeper personal message. This particular painting deals with larissa’s own internal struggles with perfectionism. over the past few years, she has been faced with more and more responsibilities and decisions. Due to selfinduced pressure to maintain “success” and live what larissa considers to be a “perfect” life, all decisions have become life-deining and important. For fear of living with regret, the act of making decisions (big or small) can sometimes leave her paralyzed with anxiety, stressing over trying to make the perfect choice. by over-thinking her future, and worrying too much about her past, larissa forgets to enjoy the present moment. With this painting, the assorted cookies are a metaphor for those simple decisions in life which are ultimately not a big deal, and are supposed to be comforting and enjoyable. However, our inner thoughts and worries fool us to think that there is a perfect choice, and if we do not choose it, we choose unhappiness.
RESPONSE
Participating in the AiR Program provided me with a safe space in which to explore how to explain my own personal issues with mental illness to a public audience. It has helped me to realize there is no shame in admitting you have mental health issues, and also that these issues appear in an array of strengths and sizes. Despite what causes each of our individual feelings, we can all relate to each other on some level, and understand the emotions with which we are struggling. The program has helped me personally by providing me with a prompt for discussion amongst my peers and instructors, allowing me to talk about my own issues by relating them to my artistic practice. This is helpful in that I feel like I can separate myself from my own feelings of insecurity so that I can talk about them, turn them into something more interesting, and in a way, poke fun at them! I have been compelled and inspired by the other artists in the group who use their personal inner traumas as inspiration for their art, turning their very real and probably dificult feelings into something beautiful. experiencing this has shown me that I need not be ashamed of my own thoughts; in most cases people will respect you more for being raw, open and honest, rather than trying to conceal your quirks. by talking about the meaning of my piece for the show and explaining it to people as they walk by my studio, I have become more conident about my thoughts and how to explain my anxieties. More importantly, I have learned through these discussions that other students can relate to my own issues!
For the majority of the program, I felt conident and pleased with the way things were going. upon hanging the show and displaying my statement next to my painting, I suddenly felt extremely vulnerable. I was worried what other students would think of me, and worried that my problems were too small to be taken seriously. However I learned that problems come in all shapes and sizes and it is important to talk about the little ones too! I got a lot of positive feedback from viewers, not just on my painting but on my statement as well, which made me feel much better. I think that all the pieces in the show benefited greatly from having that little bit of writing to explain what the artist was intending with the work. being a part of this program gave me the nudge to show a side of me which I often hide from others because I am embarrassed by it. The AiR program gave me an excuse to embrace my negative thoughts, and even prompt discussion about them. For some reason, when someone is dealing with a mental illness, there tends to be an aspect of shame and an outlook from others that “it’s all in their head�, making it easy to get over. This is not true. by making mental illness more approachable, we can eliminate those embarrassing thoughts attached to it, and not feel as discouraged from it. My issues with anxiety will probably never be fully resolved; it is a dilemma with which I will always live. However the more I investigate and discuss it, the more accepting I can become of it. Instead of feeling disappointed or sorry for myself, I can push through, hopefully learn from it, and move on.
PERFECT PERFECT PERFEC 17
Karin MCginn
CHARLIE CHARLIE CHARLI
karin creates mixed media pieces that intersect drawing, sculpture, and installation. Her current ield of research is an exploration into experimental narrative forms. Her piece, Charlie, is a personal response to a loved one’s struggle with addiction. Watching the immediate and crippling effects of addiction has at times been a heartbreaking process for karin. In trying to understand her loved one’s addiction and compulsive behaviors, she simulated her loved one’s physical need as mechanical and without conscience. In this work, karin has imagined a vacuum cleaner as an embodiment of the compulsive physiological need for drugs. once switched on a vacuum cleaner can’t stop until it’s turned off again. This piece the personiication of an everyday object conveys the emotive narrative that underlies addiction. using a familiar household item translates a closeness to home. This installation piece may simulate a domestic environment but it is only an illusion. like a prop that sits on a stage, the vacuum cleaner looks real on the one side, but from the other side the wood materials and supports are exposed. This surreal environment echoes karin’s own personal sentiment in dealing with this tragedy; having a loved one with an addiction is like keeping a dirty secret. Charlie is a street name for cocaine.
resPonse
The AiR Program is an artist in residency program consisting of ACAD students from diverse disciplinary practices. The mandate of this program was to create artwork in response to mental health issues experienced by post-secondary students. My focus for this project was on vices and their causation of addictive and compulsive behaviors. My overall experience as a member of the AiR residency program has been a very positive one. At the irst meeting I realized that I didn’t know any of the other 11 artists in the program. I was nervous and unsure about whether or not I’d be able to open up to strangers regarding my personal connection to “vices”. I chose this topic because recently a close family member had come out about his addiction and the news had been weighing on me heavily.
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I’d hoped this program would provide me an opportunity to navigate this dificult subject matter in a safe environment. That day as each student took turns introducing themselves and describing their project ideas, it became clear to me that every artist there was using their chosen topics of vices, body issues, and mental health issues in a personal context. I believe that by exposing ourselves (and knowing how hard it was) created a shared empathy within the group. During the research stage, I learned that mental health issues and addiction are intrinsically linked. often, people with addictions have underlying mental health issues and use vices as a means to escape or medicate. I also learned how addicting drugs such as crack are and that relapse is part of the healing process. I read testimonials from family members dealing with their loved ones with addictions and felt the enormity of my family’s situation. Approaching my topic was challenging, given the close proximity to my subject matter, I instead chose to focus on the physiological actions of a drug user. I depicted an inanimate object (vacuum cleaner) to interpret my subject matter; this allowed me a space to interpret vices without exposing too much of my own story. During our weeklong exhibition Take with Plenty of Water I received a surprising amount of interesting feedback regarding my piece Charlie. one of my peers conided in me that she was also experiencing a similar situation in her family. The exhibition deinitely provided a platform to talk about dificult issues. I understand that people (including myself) are reluctant to discuss mental issues and addiction even though it is all around us. The AiR residency program was extremely effective in bringing awareness to mental health issues within our post-secondary institution. As a result, I feel better informed and more comfortable speaking about mental health issues with my peers.
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MARIA NOWAK
As a result of a spontaneous interest in a basic mineral, Maria has built her whole artistic practice revolving around the element of salt and her ability to manipulate it, experiment with it and help reine it as a material that holds much potential for aesthetic beauty and curiosity. Her experimentation with boundaries of the material has been described as alchemic in its fusion of chemistry and ine art. The element’s transformation reaches past its physical characteristics and goes on to comment on our existing familiarity with a common element and how it can be made unfamiliar and what responses that inspires. The very first process that resulted in this existing body of work were curious experiments and as Maria has continued her work she has found herself unable to stop experimenting. The need to continue pushing the materials boundaries have persisted for nearly a year to the point of integrating itself into her work routine and daily habits. This insistent habit has transformed into a certain need which has at times overwhelmed Maria because of the feeling that she needs to continue for the simple reason to keep it going. In this residency Maria tried to focus of the repetitive nature of her process and, habits in relation to the work and so she displayed a small reelection of the results of those repetitive actions and mentalities. Through the opportunity provided by being a part of the Artist in Residence project located within ACAD I have had the unique experience of being engrossed in a group of classmates belonging to different disciplines, different years within the college and different elements of mental illness. The residency’s mandate of bringing together a large array of artists who not only live with mental illnesses but also are eager to help deine and educate about them through their art was one that had enriched my standing as an artist. I was worried in the beginning that my work and words would have a lesser authority with my residency partners due to my outstanding lack of any of the hailing mental ailments. In the past I have suffered panic attacks, social anxiety and issues with my body image and self-worth, but never anything more than is a natural dose through your years of adolescence. My main experience
RESPONSE
comes from my exposure to mental illness through my education about it and my friends who do live with it. I do not suffer from depression, body dysphoria, major anxiety or bipolar disorder: all ailments that were present within the circle of participants of the residency. From our irst meeting I was worried I had somehow cheated my way into their ranks as a ‘healthy’ participant whose only real interaction with mental health was through my empathy and education. My worry also stemmed from my work’s ambiguity in relation to the topics deined by the residency mandate. I found myself only able to really apply to one; vice, which incidentally was also the most open one. I did respond to its deinition of obsessive habits within my own conines of my work’s process and my need to constantly be repeating the same action in order to create. More than once I had felt trapped within my self-declared mission to continue pushing and challenging just one element and so I found myself focusing on exploring that in hopes of finding something to bring forth with clarity to the greater discussion proposed by the residency. What happened instead was as the residency continued I found myself responding not to my work or myself or the opportunity for dialogue and validation through those elements, but instead becoming aware that my main strength as a participant was in being a part of the dialogue as a grouped force and not an individual voice. The experiences I had while working with members from all different departments and years enriched my own associations with my work; the discussion brought forth during critiques leading up to the show informed my understanding of personal relationships to mental health on a very unique level; and simply participating in the forum created by our show gave birth to my inal understanding that my position within the residency was never invalid. My concern of being too ‘healthy’ was in fact informed by the general stigma against mental illness that the residency wanted to reform. Through my participation I myself went through reeducation in regards to mental illness while also being a part of the forum. on this very personal level, the residency was a complete success for me, just as much as it was on a bigger scale. I witnessed exceptional discussion throughout the school campus in time the residency was active and even more so during the reception of the show.
REPETITION REPETITION 21
WITH EACH WITH EACH SELF-SURGERY SELF-SURGERY SELF-SURG I BECOME LESSLES I BECOME LESS CONVINCED CONVINCED CONVI THATTHAT WHAT I AMI AM WHAT DIGGING FOR CAN DIGGING FOR CAN BE REMOVED BE REMOVED sarah KellY How long will one persist in eviscerating oneself in a quest to ind the root of the problem before inding that the menace staring up from the bottom, recognizable through all distortion, is none other than the surgeon themselves.
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H Y S D M N
RESPONSE
over one semester, my experience with the AiR program has not only given me time to work on a project for an exhibition, but I also appreciate how it has formed a bond between participants who may have not known each other well prior to the program. because the group was focused on forming an exhibition together, we would connect frequently to talk about ideas, critique work, or the actual show, and I found this to be the part I looked forward to most. While the program initially started with categorizing different kinds of mental health awareness issues, it quickly progressed into a widening the discourse due to everyone’s varied personal experiences with mental illness. Whether mental health issues are experienced by the participants or someone in their life, we all found we could relate to the topics we spoke about, and that reafirmed why it is important to have an exhibition about it.
Mental health issues can be a very isolating thing to deal with alone, especially when speaking about it feels taboo or even reduced and dismissed in certain contexts. In creating a piece for this program, I was made to think about how I would express my personal experience directly rather than abstractly through a different kind of artwork and I realized that many artists use their practices as ways of processing these feelings without ever addressing them separately. The reason for this could be because we have been trained to use a different language that is more of a code for speaking about personal matters, and there is rarely an opportunity to distill exactly what this is. The AiR program provided the opportunity for artists to focus bridging this gap, created a platform for the awareness to be shared, and I think this method of re-familiarizing with our mental health is important in an arts education.
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RESPONSE ROBIN KOCH
Robin is in her third year of study at the Alberta College of Art + Design. Robin’s main area of focus is in Print Media. Her current work explores the movement that we are restricted to within Western society, subtly dictated within what we perceive as freedom. Robin’s ideas stem from research on social theories and material culture. She is interested in the way our physical and emotional landscapes are impacted and constructed by this culture. Initially Robin was going to use familiar processes within her Print Media practice to display this subject, but was compelled to explore different avenues of process and display. using video displays a greater sense of time and space, and fulfills the ability to capture the movement that the elements create. The reduction of form and content within this work develops the need for interpretation and a greater understanding of the context. Removing the evidence of human activity within the video invites the viewer to place themselves as the subject matter within the audio context.
BEFORE BEFORE THERE THERE WAS WAS SILENCE SILENCE
being a part of the AiR program brought awareness to my process and intentions within the work. I felt the need to take every part of project into consideration so that it would effectively display the concept, and communicate with an audience. I approached this assignment with concentration and earnest intentions toward the subject matter. It was important to be familiar with anxiety and depression and have an interest in exploring it in a visual context. As I began to take part in program I intentionally separated my emotional influences from my work, because I knew it would be too overwhelming to I envelope myself in it. I also felt that the display of my own experiences would result in the exclusion of some of the audience. Within this consciousness I constructed the environment piece by piece, constantly and thoughtfully assembling the materials throughout the last four months. This program was also a great learning experience and exploration of health and wellness within a familiar environment. It gave us the opportunity to create work with a group of people that were presenting similar topics, and work with materials to convey them instead of with explicit facts. It pressured us to create work that would provoke an emotional response, as well as an awareness and connection to each subject. We covered topics and issues that almost everyone deals with on a regular basis, or have so in the past. We took these subjects and turned them into visual conversations; discussions that continue through the process and exhibition. The display of these works will hopefully bring a larger awareness and a broader recognition of things people struggle with. It was cool to see everyone in their processes; the development of ideas and elaboration of the subjects they chose. It was evident that there was a lot of personal exploration and research conducted. It’s a challenging process; exposing thoughts and feelings that we might usually try to hide, and sharing intimate experiences and what we might perceive as weaknesses. My own research provided me the ability to draw on information that I could use as elements within my work. I watched documentaries on anxiety and depression, which created an informative dialogue and caused its own level of anxiety within this display of “malfunction” and “dissociation”.
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THE THELARIMAR LARIMAR resPonse CadenCe brett When given the opportunity to participate in the AiR Program, Cadence knew her goal in the project was to create a piece that would positively impact every person who viewed it. based upon her interest in the metaphysical healing properties of crystals, Cadence sought to recreate not only the visual aesthetic of a stone, but the healing properties as well. Wanting to use a stone that she thought would provide a moment of stillness for the viewer, one that holds the feeling of suspension. Cadence chose the crystal larimar, as the relationship between healing qualities, physical qualities, and visual aesthetic so closely interweave one another. larimar is a nurturing stone, one that is known to provide balance, tranquility and peaceful energies. Found in the volcanic rocks of the Dominican Republic, larimar’s appearance resembles the beautiful relective waters its location is known for. In order to embody these qualities, Cadence wanted to stay close to the elemental source of the stone: water. She took a series of underwater photographs, using lights to create the relective patterns unique to larimar. And so, Cadence presents The larimar Collection, hoping it brings you a moment of stillness, peace and tranquility.
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The AiR Artist in Residency Program was not what I was anticipating. I entered the process with the expectation that because of my personal experience with mental health illness, I would simply be sharing my knowledge and experience through my work. Instead I found it to be an opportunity to challenge my own perception and understanding of, not only what mental wellbeing is, but who it affects and when. upon reflection of the experience, I’ve realized that I have my own stigmas attached to mental health. I went into the AiR Program expecting to help raise awareness about mental health and the impact it has on our society. Having both experienced and witnessed the impact of mental health on my life, I felt quite knowledgeable about the topic. I was surprised to ind my own stereotypes greatly outweighed all the information I thought I knew about mental health. Simple expectations as to what a depressed or mentally ill person looks like was the largest of my personal stereotypes. Through discussions and critiques, other people participating in the program shared their own experiences. Some of the stories, experiences and mind-sets were quite dark, but you would not have been able to tell that that person was dealing with such a heavy weight just by looking at them. In fact, I found the majority of the group to be quite the opposite of my expectations: smiling, friendly, excited, functioning; yet most of them had this other side to themselves that rarely received concern. Most of the time it’s hard to tell if a person is in emotional pain. I feel we as a society have gotten really good at hiding any sort of vulnerable emotional display. If we can’t even see it, how can we know it’s there to be taken care of? This realization is what had and will continue to have the biggest impact on me. If so many of us are dealing with this condition, then why aren’t we talking about it? I’m happy to have been a part of the AiR Program and the opportunity to talk about and raise awareness for mental health.
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Crisis Centres/hotlines Police (non-emergency) 403-266-1234 Calgary Distress Centre 403-266-4357 Calgary Communities Against Sexual Abuse 403-237-5888 Protective Services 911/2-5050
resourCes on the aCad CaMPus Campus Counseling Centre location: Main Mall http://www.acad.ca/counselling 403-284-7666 Campus Security 403-284-7672/403-680-1451 Health Centre (SAIT Health Services) SAIT CAMPuS (R41, Senator burns building) 403-284-8644
CoMMunitY resourCes Calgary Counselling Centre 403-691-5591 native Counseling Services 403-237-7857 CCASA (Sexual Abuse/Assault) 403-237-5888 Distress Centre Counseling 403-266-4357 eastside Family Centre 403-299-9696 Calgary Family Services 403-205-5244/403-269-9888 Access Mental Health 403-943-1500 online Resources http://www.helpguide.org http://www.cmha.ca http://su.ualberta.ca/services/psc/ http://uofa.ualberta.ca/current-students/counselling FoR MoRe InFoRMATIon, vISIT ACADSA.CA
PHoTogRAPHY bY TInA vIDAk (tina.vidak@gmail.com) DeSIgn bY MATT MoHR (mohrdesign.ca)
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MENTAL MENTAL HEALTH HEALTH & ADDICTIONS & ADDICTIONS EMERGENCY EMERGENCY NUMBERS NUMBERS & RESOURCES & RESOURCES (CALGARY (CALGARY AREA) AREA)
THE AIR PROGRAM PROVIDED THE OPPORTUNITY FO SSURED US TO CREATE WORK THAT WOULD PROVO EXPERIENCES AND MIND-SETS WERE QUITE DARK, B HING THE IMMEDIATE AND CRIPPLING EFFECTS OF IT’S A CHALLENGING PROCESS I HAVE LEARNED I AM BY NO M BEING A PART OF THE DIALOG THAT DAY AS EACH STUDENT TOOK TUR UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF LETTING GO OF Y OICE. ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION FEEL LIKE A MALIC NDLESSLY NEEDLE FELTED MY TIME AWAY, I BEGAN TO E THE OPPOSITE OF MY EXPECTATIONS: SMILING, FR SS. NOW THAT EVERYONE’S TALKING, WE JUST HAVE RS THAT HAVE MOLDED ME INTO THE INDIVIDUAL I RAINED TO USE A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE THAT IS MO D DISPLAYING MY STATEMENT NEXT TO MY PAINTIN EARNED THAT PROBLEMS COME IN ALL SHAPES AND AD OR GOOD, EACH MARK, SCAR, FINGERPRINT, CREA E HAS BEEN AN ATMOSPHERE OF ACCEPTANCE ABO Y FINGERPRINTS AND PALM, AS WELL AS FOLD FORM IFFICULT WONDERING IF YOU’LL FOLLOW YOUR PAR RAM AND I ACHIEVED THIS WITH OUR PIECES, AND E THE VARIOUS AVENUES. MY FOCUS FOR THIS PROJ IMMEDIATE AND CRIPPLING EFFECTS OF ADDICTION VE BEEN ABLE TO TELL THAT THAT PERSON WAS DE IF SO MANY OF US ARE DEALING WITH THIS COND