ACCESSline, Iowa's LGBT+ Newspaper, November 2010 Issue, Volume 24 No 11

Paula Cole

Englert Theatre, Iowa City Friday, November 19, 2010 8pm

17th Annual CAAP Benefit

Grant Wood biographer touring Iowa

November 12: Pre-Benefit Party at Kings & Queens Tap, Waterloo

R. Tripp Evans, author of the new Grant Wood biography Grant Wood: A Life, will be touring Iowa during November 2010 with stops across eastern and central Iowa.

November 13: CAAP Benefit at the Five Sullivan Brothers Convention Center, Waterloo

Reviewer Comments:

TTFor details see ad on page 2

“Evans’ book is much more than a biography — it is also a lesson in looking and seeing…. a valuable contribution to this country’s cultural history, and one that shows the insidious homophobia that has often shaped that history. This is a splendid, beautifully written book.” – Doug Ireland, Gay City News Editor’s note: ACCESSline is co-sponsoring the special dinner event at Schera’s Restaurant and Bar in Elkader, Iowa on November 13.

TTArticle page 17. Special event ad, page 22

The pop-folk icon talks new album, hits, and the gays who love her to bits

UI TransWeek 2010 November 14-17, 2010

by Chris Azzopardi Folk-pop hits—and hairy pits—put Paula Cole’s name at the forefront of the late ’90s golden age for female singersongwriters. It wouldn’t have been that decade without the Dawson’s Creek song, her ubiquitous “I Don’t Want to Wait,” and the staple “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?”

Cole disappeared for many years afterward, reemerging with 2007’s jazz-tinged Courage. Just last month she released its follow-up, Ithaca, her fifth album.

Outside of a Massachusetts coffeehouse, Cole spoke to us about the new disc, sucking at social networking, her growing gay following—and yes, even her armpit hair.

TTRead the interview on page 12

Jonathan Wilson Page 7

Paul Cole Interview Page 12

The University of Iowa’s student and community group TransCollaborations and the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Resource Center (LGBTRC) are proud to present the second annual UI TransWeek.

This year’s line-up of educational and outreach events will include film screenings, poetry, lectures, workshops, and discussions that explore and deconstruct gender from multiple and intersecting racial, class, ethnic, and spiritual perspectives. The week of events is scheduled for November 14th-17th, 2010

TTDetails on page 33

Grant Wood Biographer Tour Page 17

What’s Inside: Section 1: News & Politics

From the Editor: “I’m Right Here” Iowa News US News World News “Christian Terrorism” by Jonathan Wilson “Attention all incestuous Iowans” by D’Anne Witkowski Creeps of the Week “No, it is you who should be ashamed” by Arthur Breur

Section 2: Fun Guide

Entertainment Picks for November Deep Inside Hollywood Paula Cole - Interview by Chris Azzopardi Partying Hard: “Don’t mix...” by Joshua Dagon The Outfield Recurring Events, Statewide Hear Me Out (Music Reviews) Grant Wood biographer touring Iowa Heart Healthy Soup The Gay Wedding Planner Cocktail Chatter: Planter’s Punch / Brass Monkey “Greetings from Thailand” by Rachel Eliason Book Worm Sez: I Was Born This Way Comics and Crossword Puzzle

Section 3: Community

The CENTER Sweet Equality Cedar Rapids Unity First Friday Breakfast Club: Kathie Obradovich Minor Details by Bob Minor Inside Out: “Getting to Ellen” by Ellen Krug Queeries: Lessons in LGBT etiquette UI TransWeek Business Directory Snap Shots from The CENTER

Ellen Krug Page 31

Business Directory Page 36

3 4 5 6 7 7 8 9 11 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 17 18 23 25 26 26

29 29 29 29 30 31 32 33 36-37 38

ACCESSline Page 2

Section 1: News & Politics

NOVEMBER 2010

NOVEMBER 2010

PUBLICATION INFORMATION Copyright © 2010 ACCESSline P.O. Box 2666 Cedar Rapids, IA 52406-2666 (319) 550-0957 www.ACCESSlineIOWA.com editor@ACCESSlineIOWA.com ACCESSline is a monthly publication by Breur Media Corporation. The paper was founded in 1986 by the non-profit organization ACCESS (A Concerned Community for Education, Safer-sex and Support) in Northeast Iowa.

Arthur Breur, Editor in Chief Q Syndicate Rex Wockner News Service Contributors: Travis Bouska; Doug Brenner; Joshua Dagon; Rachel Eliason; Renee Evans; Beau Fodor; Ellen Krug; Photography by Gayle; Mary M. Thome; Lynda Waddington Jonathan Wilson; Sandy Vopalka

All rights reserved. Original material printed in ACCESSline (with the exception of information from other sources) may be “lifted” for use in other publications so long as proper credit is given.

Publication of the name, photograph or likeness of any person, business or organization in ACCESSline is not to be construed as any indication of sexual orientation. Opinions expressed by columnists do not necessarily reflect the opinions of ACCESSline, ACCESS or the gay and lesbian community. Letters to the editor may be published. We cannot be responsible for errors in advertising copy.

We welcome the submission of original materials, including line drawings and cartoons, news stories, poems, essays. They should be clearly labeled with author/artist name, address, and phone number. We reserve the right to edit letters and other material for reasons of profanity, space, or clarity. Materials will not be returned. A writer’s guide is available for those wishing to submit original work.

Advertising rates and deadlines are available at ACCESSlineIOWA.com. All ads must be approved by ACCESSline’s editorial board.

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 3

From the Editor: I’m Right Here!

USED TO BE It used to be Americans could talk badly about homosexuals without any fear of someone judging them for it. No “selfrespecting” person would ever admit to being homosexual (or bisexual, etc.), and therefore, any “self-respecting” person could say whatever hateful, ignorant, rude, or even downright evil thing they wanted to on the subject.

After all, “homosexuals” were a vague, distant “someone else” out there, who one might see photos of—perhaps photos of them being arrested for, say, peacefully congregating at a bar—but they would never be someone standing right there in the same room.

So no matter how nasty a statement was made, it was not being made about someone real to the speaker. LGBT people were a concept to hate and to fear, not real people.

Things have changed. A bit, at least.

Today there are very visible gay people “right here” in all walks of life. We have out, proud, and mega-successful talk show host Ellen DeGeneres. We have Anderson Cooper (subtle and classy as he is), one of the major faces of news-giant CNN. We have Rachel Maddow (sometimes slightly less subtle, but every bit as classy) on MSNBC. Top TV programs have well-respected out stars like Jane Lynch, Portia DiRossi, and Neil Patrick Harris—as well as a number of openly gay, positively portrayed characters on many shows. We even have transgender people appointed to government posts by the President of the United States!

Nowadays, Americans see that gay people are not scary, shadowy threats, but are instead real people with real feelings and real lives and real impact on society.

PEOPLE VERSUS A CONCEPT

I honestly don’t believe that Arkansas School Board Member Clint McCance wanted real people to commit mass suicide when he posted these hateful words on Facebook [presented as posted, typos included; expletives censored]: Seriously they want me to wear purple because five queers killed themselves. The only way im wearin it for them is if they all commit suicide. I cant believe the people of this world have gotten this stupid. We are honoring the fact that they sinned and killed thereselves because of their sin. REALLY PEOPLE.

ACCESSline Wants To Hear From You! Send in photos and reports of your events... especially benefits and conferences.

Please send us information on any of the following: • Corrections to articles • Stories of LGBT or HIV+ interest, both in and outside of Iowa • Letters to the editor • Editorials or opinion pieces • Engagement and wedding ceremony announcements or photos • Questions on any topic we print • Photos and writeups about shows, events, pageants, and fundraisers Please email us at Editor@ACCESSlineIOWA.com. You may also contact us at our regular address: ACCESSline PO Box 2666 Cedar Rapids, IA 52406-2666

ACCESSline reserves the right to print letters to the editor and other feedback at the editor’s discretion.

… being a fag doesn’t give you the right to ruin the rest of our lives. If you get easily offended by being called a fag then dont tell anyone you are a fag. Keep that sh** to yourself. I dont care how people decide to live their lives. They dont bother me if they keep it to thereselves. It pisses me off though that we make a special purple fag day for them. I like that fags cant procreate. I also enjoy the fact that they often give each other aids and die.

If you arent against it, you might as well be for it. …

I would disown my kids they were gay.

They will not be welcome at my home or in my vicinity. I will absolutely run them off. Of course my kids will know better. My kids will have solid christian beliefs. See it infects everyone.

What I believe is Mr. McCance never— not once in his entire life—was chastised for telling a gay joke, or for calling someone “queer” or “fag”. He probably had never met or worked with an openly gay person. This was locker-room testosterone trash-talk at its worst, just another example of the vicious verbal vomit that leads gay children to first hate and then kill themselves. But McCance is not some horrific monster—he was still just thinking of LGBT people as a concept, not as real flesh-and-blood people “right here”.

AMERICA: FREEDOM & FAIRNESS

Now, in some places—like the Middle East and parts of Africa—there are whole populations who honestly believe that gay people should be killed just for being gay, regardless of whether they even engage in same-gender sexual activity.

Just in October, a Ugandan newspaper listed the names and addresses of the 100 “top” homosexuals in the country with a blatant call to “hang them.” A bill introduced there in 2009—partly thanks to American evangelical “experts” on making someone “ex-gay”—calls for killing homosexuals and punishing individuals who know of homosexuals but do not report them to the police.

So the whole world is not a tolerant place for gay people. It definitely is not. But America should be different.

Why? Because Americans believe in two significant concepts: Freedom and Fairness.

Freedom means we are free to be who we are according to our own conscience, free to

live how we want and worship how we want; we are free to pursue our own interests and free to associate with the people we choose.

Fairness means being given an equal chance at opportunity in life, and the concept runs deep and wide in the American heart: fairness in sports; fairness in business dealings; fairness in legal protection.

THE NEW STRATEGY FOR HATERS

In order to keep up the hateful speech (and avoid the painful task of facing one’s own prejudices) it is now “in vogue” to camouflage one’s prejudice in pious robes of religion.

After all, one cannot be a bigot if they are merely standing by the tenets of their faith, can they? And, of course, one can now cleverly accuse LGBTs and their allies of being “intolerant” because they are not letting Christians profess their “deeply held” faith.

Eventually, we can hope that anti-gay speech in the guise of religion will eventually be as outdated—and as socially unaccepted— as claiming that women should be subservient to their husbands. The Bible says that too, after all! Some people still say such things, but the vast majority of people now think that such ideas are ridiculously out of date.

IT GETS BETTER

So as we continue to be open about who we are, things will continue to get better. As we continue to share ourselves through the wonder that is social media and continue to be good neighbors, good friends, and good family, things will continue to get better.

Over time, most people will stop saying hateful and hurtful things about someone just because they are different. Oh, there will always be the crazies like the Fred Phelps clan, the FRC, and the AFA. But most people know the difference between a concept and the flesh-and-blood person standing in the room with them, “right here.”

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ACCESSline Page 4

Section 1: News & Politics

NOVEMBER 2010

Corporate Personhood

IOWA NEWS

On Tuesday, November 16th at 7:00 pm Mr. David Cobb will be in Cedar Rapids, Iowa to speak about the Move To Amend Movement.

ACCESSline editor Arthur Breur (third sign from the right) at the Homegrown Justice Tour rally inside the Linn County Courthouse on October 27, 2010. Approximately 150 people were in attendance. Photo: Lynda Waddington

The political battle over same-sex marriage rights is far from over Hundreds of thousands of out-of-state special interest money was spent during the 2010 election on television, radio, print advertising and political robo-calls, all aimed to oust three of the seven Iowa Supreme Court Justices who ruled on the Varnum v.

Brien case.

Among the biggest spenders were the New Jersey-based National Organization for Marriage, the Washington DC-based Family Research Council, and the Mississippi-based American Family Association.

Part of the anti-judicial effort included a state-wide “Judge Bus Tour” over the four days of October 25-28, featuring Iowa’s own US Congressional Representative, Steve King.

Mr. King’s speech included much of his usual rhetoric about the Iowa Supreme Court’s decision on Varnum v. Brien: “legislating from the bench”, “judicial tyranny”, “taking away Iowan’s right to vote”, and others. New to his talking points on the subject was a vague reference to the ancient Greek city-state of Sparta and how same-sex marriage will lead to children being “raised in warehouses.”

Countering the anti-retention effort was the Homegrown Justice Tour, which arranged rallies in the same cities as the Judge Bus Tour, mostly offset by 30 minutes to reduce the chance of overt confrontation between the sides.

In Cedar Rapids at 12:30pm on Wednes-

About twenty people showed up to see US Rep. Steve King speak at the “Judge Bus” whistle stop at Green Square Park in Cedar Rapids, October 27, 2010.

Photo: Arthur Breur

day October, 27—less than one week before the election—approximately 150 people gathered in the Linn County Courthouse in downtown Cedar Rapids to rally in support of retention. Speakers at the event included: former leader of the Iowa Federation of Labor Don Rowen; Iowa Board of Regents Member, Ruth Harkin; and Cedar Rapids attorney and self-declared “small-government Republican,” Bill McCartan. McCartan’s speech included the following warning and message of hope: “Where will we hide if the independence of our judiciary is destroyed on Tuesday?

Where will we hide when we go before the court and it is simply a matter of which side is more popular? Where will we hide when it is a matter of which side has donated the most money to the judge that will hear our case?

The people who are running that bus around this state—who claim to be for freedom!— would tear down the institution that secures all of our freedoms. I don’t think that is going to happen. Iowans are descent people, and they don’t like what under-lies the message on the side of that bus. More importantly, Iowans are smart people, and they know what the word freedom really means.”

Shortly after, at approximately 1:30pm, the Judge Bus pulled up to a crowd of approximately 20 people (plus press and about 10 peaceful protesters), at Green Square Park in downtown Cedar Rapids.

Event cancelled to prevent appearance of “judicial campaigning”

A pro-retention event in Iowa City, sponsored by the University of Iowa’s “Outlaws” group, was cancelled after the judicial guest speakers decided it was best for them not to attend. The decision was made so as not to bring the appearance of “judicial campaigning” to the Iowa general election.

The purpose of the Outlaws is “to provide a common forum for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons interested in the law, and to provide for a climate of mutual support, protection, and professional advancement.”

This movement is designed to raise awareness about the problems of Corporate Personhood which began in 1886 when the Supreme Court ruled that Corporations can claim the rights of persons.

Since then there has been a steady claim by corporations to claim more and more human rights. Recently we have witnessed yet another claim in Citizens United v FEC, where the Supreme court sided with the wealthy elite against the interests of the American people.

Corporations can now spend unlimited money to buy our elections. Our Democracy is at stake and we are the ones who must assume the responsibility to address this problem.

Mr. Cobb will speak briefly and then there will be a question and answer session with the opportunity for small group discussion.

If you are concerned about this issues, want to know more or are just curious we invite you to attend and participate.

For more information on the Move To Amend Movement go to: movetoamend.org

If you are interested in helping to form a local “Move To Amend” group please contact: Judith Pedersen-Benn at 319-364-4709.

Refreshments will be provided.

“I think that if we can’t defend marriage, that it becomes very hard to defend life. Marriage is the crucible by which we pour all of our values and pass them on to our children, and that is how the culture is renewed each time. So, if we lose marriage—for instance, if our children are raised in warehouses, so to speak.

There have been civilizations that have tried to do that. The Spartans did that. They took the children away and taught them to be warriors. It’s a good way to defend a country, but not much of a way to run a civilization. So, I’m afraid if that happened—if we lose the marriage, we lose the home, we lose the nuclear family then we can’t teach our values. We won’t be able to teach our faith. We won’t be able to teach life. We won’t be able to teach our Constitutional values either. That’s why I’m afraid it’s going to be very, very difficult to defend life.”

— Part of US Rep. Steve King’s “stump speech” used on the “Judge Bus” tour, October 25-28, 2010.

NOVEMBER 2010

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 5

US NEWS news analysis by Rex Wockner HRC scorecard: Congress is polarized

The new edition of the Human Rights Campaign’s “Congressional Scorecard” has found an increase in both “highly supportive” and “highly anti-LGBT” legislators.

HRC said the findings reveal a “stark polarization.”

“A strong and devoted group of anti-LGBT legislators continues to stymie the progress LGBT people deserve,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “The fact that the first ever vote to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in the House of Representatives was countered by a filibuster in the Senate illustrates the landscape.”

In the House, 145 members received a pro-gay score of 90 percent or better, compared to 128 members in the previous Congress. Senators scoring 90 percent or better this year rose from 32 to 36. However, the number of senators receiving a zero score from HRC climbed as well, from 16 to 32. The number of House zeros remained unchanged.

“As more and more Americans support equality for LGBT people, some members of Congress are showing real leadership while others are digging in their heels to cater to an anti-LGBT fringe constituency,” said HRC Legislative Director Allison Herwitt.

The scorecard is based on votes and co-sponsorships regarding hate crimes, gays in the military, employment nondiscrimination, tax equity, same-sex marriage, same-sex partner immigration, HIV treatment, needle exchange, and the Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor Supreme Court confirmations. For full results, see hrc.org/scorecard.

Gay ban back in force

The Obama administration resuscitated the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell gay ban Oct. 20 by convincing the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to temporarily stay an injunction by a federal district judge in Riverside, Calif.

U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips had found the ban unconstitutional and barred any further use of it worldwide effective Oct. 12. In response, the military stopped kicking out openly gay and lesbian servicemembers and began letting open gays and lesbians sign up to enlist.

But the Obama administration—which

says it strongly opposes DADT—immediately began fighting to bring the ban back to life, ultimately succeeding eight days later.

The Justice Department argued that an abrupt end to the ban would be harmful to the military in myriad ways. Judge Phillips was wholly unconvinced and refused to stay her injunction. The 9th Circuit, on the other hand, issued a brief stay—until at least Oct. 25—while it considers issuing a longer stay.

The administration also said it wants Congress, not the courts, to end the ban. The House of Representatives voted to end the ban earlier this year but the Senate refused after a filibuster by Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz.

There is no indication that the Senate will change its mind when it returns to Washington for the lame-duck session following the Nov. 2 elections, even though the DADT repeal measure is part of the bill that funds the entire U.S. military for next year. McCain’s filibuster also left the overall military funding measure unpassed.

“Really, what’s in my heart right now is it’s going to be really hard for me to vote for Barack Obama,” prominent gays-in-the-military activist Dan Choi said in an interview.

Choi re-enlisted in the Army at the Times Square recruiting station in New York on Oct. 19 only to see his plans stymied a day later.

“They told me (on Oct. 22) that they’re shredding my papers…to protect my Social Security number,” he said. “Call me a one-issue person, but this is really pissing me off. When Congress has a law that’s unconstitutional, it’s the job of the courts to call it unconstitutional.

That’s Civics day one. Obama’s giving Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

For him to do that at this point is upsetting, it’s disgusting.”

GetEQUAL director Robin McGehee called the government’s successful push for a stay “a travesty.”

“This … brings the military’s discriminatory Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell law back from the dead,” she said. “It is a travesty that after numerous attempts, President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder will go down in history as the administration that breathed life back into Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The lives and careers of openly gay and lesbian servicemembers are now back in the crosshairs of our government, and a renewed commitment to discrimination falls squarely in the hands of this White House.”

Servicemembers United Executive Direc-

GetEQUAL director Robin McGehee. tor Alexander Nicholson said he’s hopeful the stay will last just a few days.

“An objective look at the evidence before the court clearly indicates that ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell would not harm military readiness, but would rather enhance it,” he said.

Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese called DADT’s resurrection “a sad day for all Americans.”

“Today’s decision only furthers our resolve to send this law to the dustbin of history and also draws a spotlight on the administration to make good on their pledge to end these discharges that damage our national security,” he said.

Servicemembers Legal Defense Network Executive Director Aubrey Sarvis said the stay dumped the ball back in the U.S. Senate’s lap.

“Gay and lesbian servicemembers deserve better treatment than they are getting with this ruling,” he said. “We now must look to the Senate next month in the lame-duck session to bring about the swift certainty needed here and to repeal this unjust law that serves no useful purpose.”

Meanwhile, Defense Secretary Robert Gates issued a new directive Oct. 21 severely restricting who can OK a DADT discharge.

For the time being, only a three-man team consisting of Pentagon General Counsel Jeh Johnson, Undersecretary for Personnel Clifford Stanley and the secretary of the Army, the Navy or the Air Force can decide to fire a gay or lesbian servicemember.

Some news reports interpreted the directive as a de facto moratorium on DADT discharges.

NY GOP governor candidate talks trash about gays

­Carl Paladino, the Republican candidate for governor of New York, sounds like an oldschool homophobe.

First, on Oct. 10, he said: “I didn’t march in the ... gay pride parade this year. My opponent did. And that’s not the example that we should be showing our children, and certainly not in our schools. And don’t misquote me as wanting to hurt homosexual people in any way. That would be a dastardly lie. My approach is live and let live. I just think my children and your children would be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family, and I don’t want them to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option. It isn’t.”

The following day Paladino went on the Today show and dug in his heels, telling Matt Lauer: “They wear these Speedos and they grind against each other and it’s just a terrible

thing. ... Would you take your children to a gay pride parade? I don’t think it’s proper for them to go there and watch a couple of grown men grind against each other. I don’t think that’s proper. I think it’s disgusting.”

Video 1: tinyurl.com/nogrind1.

Video 2: tinyurl.com/nogrind2.

In an Oct. 12 editorial, The New York Times called Paladino’s comments “bigoted” and “shockingly irresponsible,” given recent anti-gay hate crimes and the spate of gay teen suicides.

“A week before Mr. Paladino’s comments, police say three men in the Bronx were tortured by a group of attackers who believed they were gay,” the newspaper wrote. “On Oct. 1, Rutgers University held a memorial service for a student who killed himself after police said his sexual encounter with a man was broadcast over the Internet by two classmates. For Mr. Paladino to choose this moment to make his utterly gratuitous remarks suggests at the very least an extraordinary level of insensitivity.”

Later Oct. 12, Paladino issued a statement that said, in part, “I sincerely apologize for any comment that may have offended the Gay and Lesbian Community or their family members.”

GetEQUAL zaps Obama in Miami

Disagreement over whether White House banned gay vet from event GetEQUAL attempted to confront President Barack Obama in a three-pronged zap of a fundraiser at NBA star Alonzo Mourning’s home in Miami on Oct. 11. A fourth component of the protest allegedly was thwarted by the White House.

As the presidential motorcade drove into the Coconut Grove estate, activists held large signs demanding that Obama “End the discharges now” and announcing, “We’ll give when we GetEQUAL.” The president reportedly rolled down his window and waved to the protesters.

A bit later, activists boarded boats and got as close as possible to the events as Obama spoke on the estate grounds. They blasted bullhorns and loudspeakers from a yacht covered with a banner that said, “Stop the discharges!”

The White House press-pool reporter accompanying Obama made note of the disruption in her fourth dispatch.

The group also set aloft weather balloons carrying their logo and URL. A plan to confront Obama inside the fundraiser was thwarted when the White House refused to let Anthony Woods attend the pricey soirée, according to GetEQUAL’s version of events. Woods is a Democratic former congressional candidate who was fired from the military under the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell gay ban. “(Woods) was the guest of Itzel Diaz who was told to send her information over to the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) by the deadline on Friday at 5 p.m.,” said GetEQUAL spokesman Brad Luna. ”Itzel spoke with the DCCC RSVP contact and was told there was room, that she simply needed to send her info over by the deadline—which she did—and it would be

TTUS NEWS continued page 10

ACCESSline Page 6

Section 1: News & Politics

NOVEMBER 2010

World News by Rex Wockner Euro court strikes down Russian ban on gay pride parades

In a stinging rebuke to Russia’s pervasive homophobia, the European Court of Human Rights on Oct. 21 ordered the nation to stop banning gay pride parades.

In a group of cases brought by Moscow Pride founder Nikolai Alekseev, the court ruled that former Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov’s yearly bans of gay pride violated guarantees of the European Convention on Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms in the areas of freedom of assembly and association, right to an effective remedy and prohibition of discrimination.

Russia must pay Alekseev 12,000 euros ($16,800) in damages and 17,510 euros in costs and expenses.

The court rejected Moscow’s many excuses for the bans, which included the alleged need to protect public order, health, morals and the rights and freedoms of others—as well as the desire to prevent riots.

In reality, Luzhkov had vowed to never allow a gay pride parade in Moscow no matter what. He called gay parades “satanic” and “weapons of mass destruction,” and called gay people “faggots” (“gomiki”). “(T)he main reason for the bans on the gay marches had been the authorities’ disapproval of demonstrations which, they considered, promoted homosexuality,” the court’s registrar said in a summation of the ruling. “In particular, the Court could not disregard the strong personal opinions publicly expressed by the Moscow mayor and the undeniable link between those statements and the bans. Consequently, the Court found that, as the Government had not justified their bans in a way compatible with the Convention requirements, Mr. Alekseyev had suffered discrimination because of his sexual orientation.”

Alekseev said the Euro court decision is binding on Russia and he hoped new Moscow Mayor Sergey Sobyanin would offer no resistance.

However, on Oct. 22, the Russian Ministry of Justice reportedly appealed the ruling to the ECHR’s Grand Chamber.

“This decision is a major victory for us because no judge, no lawyer and no politician will any longer be able to tell us that the bans of our events were lawful,” Alekseev said. “This decision is the first to recognize that the Russian law on freedom of assembly contradicts with the European Convention.

It is a gift to all democrats and human rights activists in Russia.”

“We declare October 21 the Russian LGBT Liberation Day and we will celebrate it every year from now on with public demonstrations,” he vowed.

Louis-Georges Tin, president of the Committee for the International Day Against Homophobia, said: “A new chapter is about to be opened in Russia and we hope that this decision will make history the arrests, fines and harassment that LGBT rights defenders faced since 2006…The (European Union) countries represented in Moscow have now no excuse not to bring the same political support to Russian Pride organizers as in other Eastern European countries.”

European Region of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association—ILGA-Europe.

“The Turkish government is turning us trans people into criminals, for no other reason than existing,” said GATE co-director Mauro Cabral. “We are the crime.”

Nikolai Alekseev. GayRussia.ru photo Small groups of LGBT activists defied Luzhkov’s bans each of the past five years, provoking him to send riot police to arrest and sometimes beat them. The small gatherings also were routinely attacked by anti-gay hooligans.

Leading British activist Peter Tatchell, who was pummeled by anti-gay protesters in Moscow in 2007, said: “This ruling is a major rebuke to the disgraced former mayor of Moscow, Yuri Luzhkov, and to his authoritarian allies in the Russian government…This is an astonishing victory. Nikolai and his small band of daring LGBT activists have taken on the might of the Russian state —and won…He is a real pioneer and hero.”

ILGA-Europe confab starts Oct. 28

Europe’s top international LGBT organization opens its 14th annual conference Oct. 28 in The Hague, Netherlands.

The gathering of the European Region of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans & Intersex Association will run through Oct. 31.

“This a unique opportunity for LGBTI activists from across Europe to get together and discuss common problems and challenges, share experiences and best practices on tackling discrimination and advancing equality and human rights for LGBTI people, as well as celebrating achievements and sketching future projects, strategies and tactics,” said spokesman Juris Lavrikovs.

Keynote speakers include a member of the Dutch House of Representatives, a former Amsterdam deputy mayor, a Swedish government anti-discrimination boss, and a member of Denmark’s Parliament, among other Euro luminaries.

IGLHRC blasts Turkey over trans arrests, attacks

Turkish prosecutors must investigate attacks against five transgender rights activists by police in Ankara and drop charges against the activists, the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission and other organizations said Oct. 18 in a letter to Turkey’s interior and justice ministers.

The activists from the Ankara-based transgender organization Pembe Hayat were detained by police in May; beaten, kicked and pepper-sprayed; then later charged with resisting police.

The letter also was signed by Human Rights Watch, COC Netherlands, Global Advocates for Trans Equality, and the

Baja marriage ban frozen for now

A proposed same-sex-marriage ban in Mexico’s Baja California state may not be a done deal.

The constitutional amendment was passed Sept. 29, the last day that the National Action Party (PAN) had control of the Chamber of Deputies.

The next move was to send the amendment to the state’s five political subdivisions—the municipal councils of Ensenada, Mexicali, Rosarito Beach, Tecate and Tijuana—for ratification. The councils then would have had a month to approve it, reject it, or do nothing, which would count as approval.

But the amendment has yet to be formally published and forwarded to the councils. That’s because on Oct. 1, the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) took control of the Chamber of Deputies, taking the seats they won in this summer’s elections, and the PRI seemingly has not made the amendment a priority.

Should the PRI continue to delay sending the amendment to the councils, that will push the ratification procedure beyond Dec. 1, when the PRI also takes control of the councils, which they won in the summer elections.

There is no time limit on how long the Chamber of Deputies can mull whether the amendment is ready to be sent for ratification, said Armando Rodríguez, pride coordinator in the state capital, Mexicali.

While it’s not clear that the new PRI deputies and councilors are supporters of same-sex marriage, the party did campaign for the gay vote in the summer elections.

The amendment would both ban samesex marriage in Baja state and seemingly prohibit recognition of same-sex marriages from Mexico City, where they are legal. If the amendment indeed bans such recognition, that could violate the federal constitution.

About 200 LGBT people took to the streets of Mexicali, capital of Mexico’s Baja California state, in cars and trucks and on motorcycles Oct. 16 for a combination pride caravan and protest against a pending state constitutional amendment that seemingly aims to ban recognition of legal same-sex marriages from Mexico City. Photo by Rex Wockner The federal Supreme Court ruled this year that Mexico City gay marriages must be recognized nationwide.

In an interview, Rodríguez said: “The amendment has yet to be published. Practically, they have it in the freezer. We can’t take legal or juridical action as long as the amendment’s not written on paper. Nonetheless, we are negotiating with the new deputies to see what legal approaches we are going to pursue.”

“Given that the party that now has the majority (of seats in the state’s elected bodies) during the campaign promised to help the causes of the Baja California gay community, we are now looking to know their posture,” he said. “They are now supersaturated with topics like finances, but we already have proposed agendas and are hoping for a round of dialogue with them very shortly.”

“We are also looking to the state humanrights ombudsman to file a case of unconstitutionality against the amendment (with the federal Supreme Court) because this amendment violates the first article of the Constitution of the United Mexican States, which says that no person can be discriminated against by reason of color, religion, sex, preference, etc.,” Rodríguez said.

On Oct. 16, about 200 LGBT people took to the streets of Mexicali in cars and trucks and on motorcycles for a combination pride caravan and protest against the amendment.

Several participants said there is a chance that the amendment may never advance to the municipalities for approval.

NOVEMBER 2010

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 7

“Christian” Terrorism by Jonathan Wilson It was reported in The Des Moines Register on August 23, 2010, that Kim Lehman, a National Republican Committee member from Iowa, had alleged that the President of the United States is a Muslim. When pressed, she premised her accusation on a speech he gave some time ago in Egypt in which (1) he said he is a Christian, and (2) he acknowledged that his lineage on his father’s side was Muslim and he could, therefore, appreciate the Muslim world view in a somewhat unique way.

For my money, such an accusation is a bit like accusing him of being an adult male, an African-American or a Christian—so what, if it’s true? Other than to her perverse brand of Christian, any of those three characteristics, of themselves, would be—should be—irrelevant to his qualifications to be President.

In the present political climate that appeals to un-American theocratic principles, however, the accusation that our President is Muslim becomes relevant among some poor students of American civics and history lessons, and those who pander to them. Also, for my money, they should be the targets of a revived Congressional Committee on Un-American Activities. These folks give the historic Tea Party a bad name.

They contribute to giving America a bad name around the world as well. Next thing you know they’ll be threatening to burn copies of the Quran.

Oh, that’s right! They’ve already done that—in a nation that supposedly prides itself on religious freedom embraced by its founders.

But that’s not my biggest problem with who call themselves Republican and Christian. the views expressed by Lehman. In the same Her brand of perverted Christianity and Repubarticle, she was quoted as saying, “I am strictly lican have become synonymous terms. As far a Christian. I believe that. I stand by that. I’ll as I’m concerned, only her ilk—the unfocused, die by that.” Are you kidding me?! I don’t the angry, the ignorant, and the not-too-bright know this woman, but I’m confident of one who are nonetheless able to find their way to thing about her: if a Muslim (American citizen the polls—will be voting for Republican candior not) made a comparable statement in support dates in November. If you don’t readily believe of his/her faith, she’d consider that person a me, consult the text of the Iowa Republican terrorist. And, truth be Party platform. Among known, anyone of either “I am strictly a Christian. other thoroughly nutty faith tradition who would such as I believe that. I stand by that. propositions, express such a sentiment opposing imposition of is, in my mind, a short I’ll die by that.” Kim Lehman Muslim Shariah law in step from actually being the United States, they a terrorist. It’s only a logical, easy extension advocate for getting rid of the federal agriculof such a sentiment to say that if I’m going to ture and energy departments, the federal and die for my faith, I might as well take out some state education departments, the Occupational non-believers with me.

Safety and Health Administration (OSHA), If you’re really nuts enough to die for your and the International Revenue Service (IRS). unprovable religious convictions, you’re nuts The test, mind you, is not whether you think, if enough to kill some innocent bystanders as elected, they’d actually be able to accomplish well. And this woman lives right here among those things. The test should be whether or not us in Iowa and lays claim to respectability as a that’s the direction you would like to see taken member of the National Republican Commit- in our public policy. tee. Laying claim to it and deserving it are Law-abiding American citizens who decidedly different. I think she’s an embarrass- appreciate, celebrate, and are not threatened ment. For many years, my law firm colleague, by the diverse mosaic that makes up the actual Steve Roberts, was a member of the National fabric of our population today, will ignore at Republican Committee. He and I differed on our peril the declared direction of modern-day countless topics to be sure, but he, to his credit, Republicans. was actually respectful and respectable.

And to think that I used to call myself Sadly, Lehman is not alone among those a Republican. But, I used to claim I was

Attention all incestuous Iowans by D’Anne Witkowski Attention all incestuous Iowans. Your true of us.” dream is coming true. Soon you’ll be able to “And we were definitely friends before marry the object of your incestuous affec- we were lovers,” he says. tions. Since that’s how incest works: just “But more importantly than that,” says two people in love, oppressed by blood. It’s Sharron, “before we were friends we were like Flowers In the Attic on Broadway, only brother and sister.”

Broadway is real life.

“If it wasn’t for the This is all thanks Of course, to Hicks incest and Iowa Supreme Court, to the Iowa Supreme homosexuality are pretty much we wouldn’t be married Court. No, they haven’t Mike says. the same thing in that they’re today,” legalized incest. But And then, in unison: they will. After all, they horrible and disgusting and “Thanks, Iowa Supreme made it legal for homos against God or whatever. But in Court!” followed by clip to marry each other, so the reality-based world where of the pair kissing. On the incest is next on the rational people live, they are not lips. Eww! marriage agenda. At Look, as far as least that’s what Tim the same thing at all. parody videos go, it’s Hicks promises. And he actually pretty good. The would know since he is apparently insane. production level is pretty high, the actors Hicks is a member of Cornerstone World know how to say their lines (though they Outreach in Sioux City, a church facing IRS could have used a bigger make-up budget. I scrutiny for its rabid campaign to boot the mean, come on. It’s hot under those lights. A three members of the Iowa Supreme Court little powder would’ve gone a long way, that’s up for retention in 2010. Apparently it’s a all I’m saying), and it’s a clever premise. violation of federal tax law to mount a politiAs far as arguments go, well, that’s cal campaign from the pulpit. But hey, it’s not another story. The whole “slippery slope” God’s law so they apparently don’t have to argument is a crowd favorite among anti-gay follow it. folks wanting to keep homos from marrying When he’s not blowing his sax for the each other. And while it may be fun to imagine Cornerstone Praise Team, Hicks appar- all of the horrible things that gays marrying ently likes to make videos under the moniker might wreak on society, it just doesn’t hold Creative Media Solutions. One of his latest, up under scrutiny. which is up on YouTube, features “Mike and To quote Andrew Sullivan, “If you want to Sharron” in a spoof on the eHarmony ads. argue that a lifetime of loving, faithful commit“We were made to be together,” Mike ment between two women is equivalent to says, his arm around Sharron. “But there incest or child abuse, then please argue it. was a time when society would not allow us It would make for fascinating reading. But to be married.” spare us this bizarre point that no new line He continues, “You have to be friends can be drawn in access to marriage—or else before you’re lovers.” everything is up for grabs and, before we Sharron chimes in, “That’s definitely know where we are, men will be marrying

their dogs.”

Of course, to Hicks incest and homosexuality are pretty much the same thing in that they’re horrible and disgusting and against God or whatever. But in the reality-based world where rational people live, they are not the same thing at all.

But in order to see that you can’t just dismiss gays and lesbians as bunch of sexcrazed lunatics hell-bent on destroying marriage. You have to be able to see gays and lesbians as actual human beings capable of love and same-sex couples deserving of the protections that come with a legally recognized marriage.

My guess is that Hicks isn’t capable of this. The Iowa Supreme Court is, however, and that’s screwing up the “homos are the worst” narrative. Sadly for Hicks and Co. that’s the only story they know.

straight too.

As the Bible says, the Truth sets us free.

Voting, on the other hand, helps keep us free.

Jonathan Wilson is an attorney at the Davis Brown Law Firm in Des Moines, and chairs the First Friday Breakfast Club (www. ffbciowa.org), an educational, non-profit corporation for gay men in Iowa who gather on the first Friday of every month to provide mutual support, to be educated on community affairs, and to further educate community opinion leaders with more positive images of gay men.

It is the largest breakfast club in the state of Iowa. He can be contacted at JonathanWilson@ DavisBrownLaw.com or 515-288-2500.

“Dear God, please allow the IRS to attack my church, so I can take them all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.”

— A prayer by Reverend Cary K. Gordon, pastor of Cornerstone World Outreach church in Sioux City, as he waged an open political campaign against Iowa’s Supreme Court justices who were up for retention this year, despite legal restrictions on political campaigning by non-profit organizations.

ACCESSline Page 8

Section 1: News & Politics

NOVEMBER 2010

Creep of the Week by D’Anne Witkowski Saline School Board

Board member Chuck Lesch said that since Michigan doesn’t include LGBT folks I think we can all agree that bullying is in the state non-discrimination laws, Saline bad. No one likes to be bullied—well, OK, shouldn’t have to either. some people do, but not, like, for real; that’s High school science teacher Tom Fredwhy they have a safe word—and no one wants erick boldly spoke out against the change, their kids to get taunted and harassed while worrying that banning discrimination they’re at school. against gays would “lead to future cases of But if there’s one thing worse than discrimination.” bullying it’s anti-bullying. Because everyPOW! That’s the sound of Frederick body knows that “anti-bullying” is really just blowing your mind. code for “promo-homo” and is an attempt to Think about it: Fight fire with fire, right? indoctrinate children to hate Jesus and love In other words, fight discrimination with leather daddies and bull dykes. discrimination. As Dan Savage wrote, “If you So congratulations to the Saline School ban discrimination against LGBT students Board in Michigan for voting against adding then you’re going to wind up discriminating “sexual orientation, gender identity and against the people who want to discriminate gender expression” to the school district’s against LGBT students.” non-discrimination policy. And double And those people usually claim that it’s congratulations for holding this historic a God-given right to think homosexuals are vote just days after a 19-year-old killed disgusting, awful people and to treat them himself after attending as such.

POW! That’s the sound of a city council meeting in As Superintendent Oklahoma where person Frederick blowing your mind. Scot Graden told AnnArafter person stood up to bor.com, without changsay how terrible gay people were. ing the policy LGBT students could technically Why did the Saline School Board vote 4-3 be discriminated against by school employees to keep LGBTs out of their non-discrimination without recourse. He gave the hypothetical policy? Well, they already have an anti-bully- example of a student getting cut from the ing policy, which supposedly covers that. volleyball team for being a lesbian.

“We already have a policy in place,” But come on, it’s one thing to put “no said board member Paul Hynek, who also ass kicking” in an anti-bullying policy. It’s acknowledged that “we don’t live in a toler- another to put into writing that LGBT folks ant society.” will get a fair shake in your school district.

Late September Hynek claimed, “The It’s like putting out a welcome mat for the root of the problem is bullying; we need to queers. Next thing you know, LGBT riff-raff get that under control.” Surely getting bully- will infiltrate the school. ing under control couldn’t possibly start And as more and more schools adopt with adding “sexual orientation, gender inclusive non-discrimination policies, people identity and gender expression” to the non- are going to expect more from principals discrimination policy. I mean, to teach kids and school board members who don’t do a not to bully LGBT students it couldn’t possibly damn thing to help LGBT kids until it’s time matter whether the school district is willing to say, “So sorry for your loss” to parents at to acknowledge that LGBT students not only a kid’s funeral. exist but are also worthy of protection against Thank you, Saline Board members, for discrimination. standing up against such a world.

“I do feel that people have been bullied and harassed,” Hynek told AnnArbor.com.

“But I’m thinking they’re not the only group in the high school that gets bullied and It feels like every time we check the news harassed.” It is, after all, well known that a this month there’s a story about yet another group cannot receive protection until they are young person taking his or her life in order to the only group getting discriminated against escape anti-gay bullying. It’s heartbreaking. for who they are.

And not just for the gay community.

Matt Barber

Even Matt Barber of the rabidly anti- saying that, you paranoid, deluded freak. gay Liberty Counsel expressed his sorrow: Although, now that you mention it: “Anyone with a heart Telling a young person grieves deeply over these So let me get this straight who is being bullied for needless suicides.” gay (while most (no pun intended): bloodthirsty being Amen to that. Hey, of the adults in his life we might not agree on gay militants are actually stand idly by!) that A) everything, but at least celebrating the fact that these he is broken and should we all have something in ashamed of feelings kids killed themselves because feel common: a heart. he cannot control, and B) it’s good for the cause?

Or do we? he pretty much deserves “Unfortunately— getting bullied until he though not surprisingly—extremist ‘gay’ gets right with a god who can’t magically “fix” pressure groups, like the incongruously his sexual orientation no matter how hard be named ‘Human Rights Campaign,’ Ellen prays… Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good DeGeneres and other liberal activists are recipe for suicidal desperation. shamelessly exploiting these tragedies as a And that isn’t good for anyone’s cause. means to achieve their own selfish political ends,” Barber continues.

Wait, is he saying that gays are actually happy about all of this?

Hopefully by the time you are reading “It makes me physically ill to watch as the this, Michigan assistant attorney general HRC and other ‘gay’ militants lick their chops Andrew Shirvell is out of a job. Shirvell and rub their hands together over the tragic recently took a paid leave of absence after suicides of these troubled, sexually confused his favorite hobby became subject of a media young men,” Barber says. “Before they were frenzy. That hobby? Stalking and harassing a even laid to rest, the radical homosexual lobby gay college student. pounced leveraging these suicides to demand That student, 21-year-old Chris that government codify each of their extrem- Armstrong, is the University of Michigan ist, social engineering demands.” student body president. Shirvell maintains a So let me get this straight (no pun blog called Chris Armstrong Watch that tracks intended): bloodthirsty gay militants are the student’s every move, obsessively followactually celebrating the fact that these kids ing Armstrong and his friends in real life killed themselves because it’s good for the and on Facebook and Twitter. Shirvell’s blog cause? includes a photo with a Oh, I get it—gays Something tells me that Nazi swastika-adorned don’t have hearts. Only flag superimMike Cox wouldn’t have been rainbow human beings have posed over Armstrong’s hearts and Barber so hot to go on national TV on face along with the word clearly doesn’t see defense if the object of Andrew “resign.” homos that way. Because Shirvell also holds Shirvell’s scorn was, say, black one-man in his world, gays don’t “protests” actually exist. They’re or Latino or Jewish. against Armstrong. In just “sexually confused early September, a friend young men” who didn’t love Jesus enough. of mine witnessed Shirvell standing outside “God’s message to young people strug- of Armstrong’s house holding a sign with the gling with same sex temptation or to those rainbow flag swastika photo on it. The whole who feel the shame that naturally accompa- thing was so bizarre she thought it might be nies sexual sin is that suicide is never the way part of some kind of fraternity hazing stunt. out,” Barber offers. “But there is a way out. Not an actual adult man’s real life.

It comes first through belief in Jesus Christ, Shirvell claims that he’s just a concerned and then through confession of sin; finally, Christian UM alumni, but it’s clear that his repentance.” main problem is the fact that Armstrong is In other words, Barber’s message to gay. gay teens is that they’re yucky sinners who On Sept. 4 Shirvell posted to his blog, simply need to pray real hard to get the gay “Parents of University of Michigan freshmen out of them. Never mind that being gay isn’t beware: the University’s first openly ‘gay’ something you can pray away. student body president, Chris Armstrong, is But for folks like Barber it isn’t about actively recruiting your sons and daughters actual people with hearts. It’s about a sinister to join the homosexual ‘lifestyle.’” Shirvell and faceless “gay agenda.” And anyway the later claimed that the aim of a party thrown real victims of this whole gay suicide mess at Armstrong’s house at the beginning of are Christians. the school year “was to liquor-up underage Ellen DeGeneres recently said, “There freshmen and promote homosexual activity are messages everywhere that validate this in an effort to recruit them to the homosexual sort of bullying and taunting and we need lifestyle.” to make it stop. We can’t let intolerance and In mid-September, Armstrong filed for ignorance take another kid’s life.” a personal protection order against Shirvell.

Barber was then kind enough to translate Because the dude is totally creepy. If you need this “from liberalese to plain English” for us, any more proof, all you have to do is watch telling us that Ellen is saying the equivalent of: the totally self-awareness-lacking interview “Public defense of God’s express, self-evident Shirvell did with Anderson Cooper, in which and unequivocal design for human sexuality he claims that he’s involved in a political must be stopped under force of law. Propo- campaign and is not doing anything wrong. nents of the Judeo-Christian sexual ethic are Because, you know, hanging out in front of a murdering ‘gay’ kids with their words.” kid’s house and videotaping him at 1 am is Now, I can’t speak for DeGeneres… Oh, totally normal “free speech” stuff. what the hell, I will: No, she’s not. She is not TTCREEPS continued page 10

Andrew Shirvell

NOVEMBER 2010

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 9

No, it is you who should be ashamed by Arthur Breur

Thanks to Pam Spaulding (pamshouseblend.com) for sharing this post by Debra J.M. Smith, who I am sure must think of herself as a concerned, caring Christian. Unfortunately, the woman only proves the point that Ellen is trying to make in the video, and just furthers the damage Ellen is trying to stop.

“Don’t encourage kids to do that which goes against their own conscience, and they won’t have to deal with the tremendous embarrassment of it, when found out.”

The irony is obviously lost on Smith that she is promoting the idea that being attracted to a person of the same sex is something to be ashamed of.

What she does not understand is that teens are not being “encouraged” to act on their same-sex attractions.

Quite the opposite, every day they are being told by people like Debra J.M. Smith that they are participating in

“unnatural behavior”.

She is clueless to the fact that it is, in fact, our conscience that is telling us that we should be showing affection for a person, and it is natural for people like us to feel attracted to someone of the same gender—just as it is natural for someone heterosexual to be attracted to someone of the opposite gender.

There should be absolutely no shame or embarrassment for a person expressing an affection that they feel for another person, regardless of gender. And if it is mutual affection, there should be no shame in its mutual expression.

No, it is people like Debra J.M. Smith who should be ashamed, for perpetuating the idea that these children we have now lost had anything to be embarrassed or ashamed about—the very idea that led them to take their own lives.

“Ellen Degeneres Take Your Rightful Blame Promotion of Homosexuality Largely To Blame For Deaths: Perhaps if there were less people making out that homosexuality is normal, then many of these kids would not dabble in it, get sucked into it and have their lives ruined by it to begin with.

Fact is, if it really was normal, other than the embarrassment of having a kissing scene on the internet, the young college student would not have been so greatly embarrassed to the point of killing himself. I believe that these people who are on TV and in the schools promoting this unnatural behavior, are largely at fault for the teens who are killing themselves. It is like encouraging people to look at child-porn on the internet, and then when a person gets busted and his life is ruined, blaming the people who point the fingers and say things. Don’t encourage kids to do that which goes against their own conscience, and they won’t have to deal with the tremendous embarrassment of it, when found out.”

— Debra J.M. Smith, October 2, 2010, on her blog, DebraJMSmith.com, in response to the “It Gets Better” video by Ellen DeGeneres.

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ACCESSline Page 10 SScontinued from page 8

CREEPS The Cooper interview video has gone viral and Shirvell comes across as a total sociopath. It’s kind of sad, actually, that Shirvell apparently has no one in his life to grab him by the shoulders and say, “Don’t go on TV or the whole country is going to see that you are insane.”

Since that interview, plenty or people— like the nearly 15,000 fans of the Fire Andrew Shirvell Facebook page—have been calling for Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox to get rid of him. Instead, Cox did his own interview with Anderson Cooper, saying that Shirvell is just exercising his First Amendment rights.

It should be noted that Cox is no friend to LGBT Michiganders, so it’s no surprise that his office would employ folks who have an antigay agenda. It should also be noted that sexual orientation is not covered under Michigan’s civil rights laws. Something tells me that Cox wouldn’t have been so hot to go on national TV on defense if the object of Shirvell’s scorn was, say, black or Latino or Jewish.

“I have done NOTHING immoral OR illegal,” writes Shirvell on his blog in late September. “And, to all my vicious, anti-Christian detractors out there… I have a message for you all: this watch site is here to stay. Get use (sic) to it.”

And yet, as of October 1, Shirvell’s blog was no longer public. Let’s hope his job follows.

Ann Coulter

Perhaps it was Ann Coulter’s very public referral to former Democratic presi-

Section 1: News & Politics dential candidate John Edwards as a “faggot” correct here). that nabbed her an invitation to address a So, wait—is Ann Coulter saying that conservative gay group, or maybe it was her civil rights only apply to black people? recent essay extolling the virtues of Ronald Apparently so. According to TPM, she told Reagan and his battle against “government “the crowd that the 14th Amendment only endorsement of homosexuality.” applies to African-Americans and that it Whatever the reason, Coulter, every- does not, in fact, apply to women, LGBT body’s favorite anti-gay fag hag, appeared people or other minorities.”

September 21 at her long-awaited Homocon Kind of makes me wonder if she’s actugig: a fundraiser for GOProud, a group of ally read the 14th Amendment. gay conservatives. Anti-gay right-wingers Keep in mind that Coulter was made were aghast that Coulter would speak to part of the event to lighten things up with such a depraved group her, um, humor. and some lamented “The gay left has “Marriage is not a civil that she’d gone over to done their best to take right. You’re not black,” Coulter all the fun out of polithe dark side. But they needn’t have worried. told the group. “Blacks must tics, with their endless Even when talking to a be looking at the gays saying, list of boycotts and group of homos she has Homocon is ‘Why can’t we be oppressed protests. no problem not being going to be our annual like that?’” very nice to homos. effort to counter the ‘no “Marriage is not a fun police’ on the left,” civil right. You’re not black,” Coulter told said GOProud Chairman of the Board Christhe group. “Blacks must be looking at the topher Barron. “I can’t think of any consergays saying, ‘Why can’t we be oppressed vative more fun to headline our inaugural like that?’” party then the self-professed ‘right-wing Ha, ha, ha. Get it? Because gays are all Judy Garland,’ Ann Coulter.” rich and can afford to hire high-profile guest Really? You can’t think of a conservaspeakers for their big, fat, gay parties in New tive that’s “more fun” than Ann Coulter?

York City. Silly gays, always pretending to Maybe that means there really aren’t any have problems bigger than where their next “fun” conservatives. martini is coming from. Oh, and also there But what do I know? I’m a humorless are no black gays. LOL. WTF? member of the gay left doing my best to It was “one of a series of racially insen- take all the fun out of politics, because of sitive remarks that pervaded her speech,” how the gay left doesn’t appreciate how reported Talking Points Memo. This should hilarious it is that gays can’t get married. come as no surprise since Coulter is widely And don’t forget the side-splitting debate perceived to be a racist bitch (and yes, I around “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” And the laffs realize that “racist bitch” is not a strong about hate crimes legislation, or the fact enough term, but I’m trying to be politically that in many states it’s OK to fire someone for being gay, or deny them hospital visitation rights or a place to live. Stop, my sides.

No, seriously. Stop.

But hey, at least we’re not black, right?

Am I right? (Cricket chirping.) Guys? What’s the matter? Was it something I said?

Sigh. I guess I just don’t have Ann Coulter’s silver-tongued wit.

NOVEMBER 2010 SScontinued from page 5

US NEWS sent to the White House for clearance. They informed her that she would hear back from them at 11 a.m. (Oct. 11). However, when they did not call at 11 a.m., Itzel phoned them and was informed that they were both denied access by the White House.”

But DCCC National Press Secretary Ryan Rudominer contradicted that version of events.

“Ms. Diaz called on Friday and said she may be interested in attending the event with a guest,” Rudominer said. “However, Ms. Diaz did not confirm attendance, payment was not submitted and no information was provided for vetting.”

GetEQUAL cofounder Robin McGehee said Obama will be seeing more of the group.

“President Obama has failed to deliver on his campaign promises to the LGBT community, and we will continue to remind him of that failure,” she said. “If the president is going to travel around the country asking for our dollars and our votes, then we are going to travel with him and insist that he first give us some of the hope and change he promised.”

McGehee said Obama should immediately sign an executive order halting discharges under the DADT gay ban, which has been struck down by a federal court in California.

At the moment, an injunction from the court forbids the government from making any use of DADT. The Justice Department on Oct. 14 asked the judge to suspend the injunction while the government appeals it.

The Pentagon is presently conducting a study on how to formally end the ban. A measure authorizing its repeal passed the House of Representatives this year but failed to pass the Senate.

It is unclear whether the repeal authorization will be considered again between the November elections and the time new House and Senate members take office in January.

Assistance: Bill Kelley

“We must stop pandering to the pornographers and the perverts who seek to target our children and destroy their lives. I did not march in a Gay Pride Parade this year. My opponent did. And that’s not the example that we should be showing our children and certainly not in our schools. And don’t misquote me as wanting to hurt homosexual people in any way. That would be a dastardly lie. My approach is live and let live. I just think my children and your children would be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family. And I don’t want them to be brainwashed into believing that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option. It isn’t.”

— New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino, Sunday, October 10, in a speech to Hasidic Jewish leaders in Brooklyn.

“Carl Paladino’s statements are unfortunate and show he lacks an understanding of what it means to be gay. I think gay men and women—my neighbors and your neighbors—would be much better off and much more successful if they were allowed equal rights and the option of getting married and raising a family. I don’t want New Yorkers to be brainwashed into thinking that ignorance is an equally valid and successful option. It isn’t.”

— Gregory T. Angelo, chairman of the Log Cabin Republicans of New York State, in response to comments by Carl Paladino

ACCESSline’s fun guide

Our Picks for November 11/5-11/10 Des Moines Community Playhouse: Duck Hunter Shoots Angel 11/12 Kings & Queens Tap, Waterloo: CAAP Pre-Benefit Party 11/13 Five Sullivan Brothers Convention Center, Waterloo: 17th Annual CAAP Benefit (& After Benefit Party at Kings & Queens Tap) 11/13 Schera’s Restaurant and Bar, Elkader: Grant Wood: An Evening (meet the author, dinner, book reading/signing) Scheras.com 11/14 Gallagher Bluedorn, Cedar Falls: Bonga & The Vodou Drums of Haiti 11/16 Sondheim Center for the Performing Arts, Fairfield: Street Beat 11/18 US Cellular Center, Cedar Rapids: The Radio City Christmas Spectacular featuring The Rockettes 11/19 Holland Center, Kiewit Hall, Omaha, NE: Dee Dee Bridgewater

11/19 Englert, Iowa City: Paula Cole

11/20 Orchard Green Restaurant, Iowa City: David Zollo 11/20 US Cellular Center, Cedar Rapids: Cedar Rapids Rollergirls (“What Happens in Derby Stays in Derby”) 11/21 Piano Lounge, Iowa City: Iowa City Pride Wine Tasting Fundraiser 11/26 Adler Theatre, Davenport, IA: Shinedown 11/26-12/12 Civic Center of Greater Des Moines: Mary Poppins 11/27 Sondheim Center for the Performing Arts, Fairfield: Sweet Dreams: A Patsy Cline Tribute 12/1 US Cellular Center, Cedar Rapids: Hancher presents Fiddler on the Roof 12/4 301 N. Johnson St, Iowa City: The Quire’s Winter Concert

Deep Inside Hollywood by Romeo San Vicente The Mississippi Hate Prom is coming to TV You may remember earlier this year when Mississippi high school student Constance McMillen sued for the right to take her girlfriend to her prom. You may also remember that not only was she subjected to intense bullying but that her school canceled the prom rather than allow her to come as she was, then turned around and set up two proms, one for the “normals” and one for McMillen and the special ed kids. You couldn’t really ask for a more dramatic and insane scenario, so it was only a matter of time before the TV movie about the subject went into production. And that TV movie will be produced by cool Hollywood power-gays Craig Zadan and Neil Meron. No title, no cast, no nothing just yet. But it’s happening.

And when it finally airs, the creepy, anti-gay people can just sit around wondering why they didn’t get more flattering screen time.

Anderson Cooper wants to be the new Oprah

The version of silver fox Anderson Cooper you see on Anderson Cooper 360 is the all-news, all-the-time guy. But watch him interact with Kathy Griffin or talk Real Housewives with Ellen and you’ll see a fluffier side of the CNN anchor. It’s clearly a side of himself he wants to indulge on the air. And why not get paid to do it? In other words, somebody wants to fill Oprah’s empty chair.

That’s why in fall 2011 you’ll get even more Cooper than you ever thought you wanted.

He’s going to host his own, as-yet-unnamed daytime talk show that will focus on social issues but also celebrities and other soft topics. Now, the real news is will he officially come out to help promote it? Will he just live the openly-not-talking-about-sexualorientation life he’s perfected instead? And will any of that matter when he’s got NeNe from Real Housewives of Atlanta on his couch and they’re gushing about how much they love each other? Stay tuned.

Sara Rue Learns The Rules

Anyone out there watching the CBS sitcom Rules of Engagement?—Anyone?

Well, it may not be must-see viewing for a lot of the lesbian and gay TV audiences out there, but someone is certainly tuning in. They’re halfway to a hundred episodes at this point, which means the inclusion of a new gay character is nothing to sniff about. And that’s what’s about to happen.

Sara Rue, former star of Less Than Perfect and Popular, will join the cast as a lesbian surrogate mother. Does that mean she’ll be carrying a fertilized egg for stars Patrick Warburton or David Spade? Or someone else? Who knows. Romeo just learned that this show even existed, OK.

Rampart full of lesbian crushes

The new film Rampart, currently in pre-production from director Oren Mover-

Anderson Cooper.

man, has a serious pedigree. It’s about the LAPD’s notorious Rampart division in the 1990s, the same one that served as inspiration for Training Day, and it has a script from L.A. Confidential’s James Ellroy and Moverman. Moverman is also responsible for the Oscar-nominated The Messenger and is currently working on an adaptation of the William S. Burroughs novel Queer. So this is no TV movie. It’ll star Steve Buscemi, Woody Harrelson, Ben Foster and Ice Cube. But what the lesbians are going to like is that it also stars Sigourney Weaver, Robin Wright, Anne Heche and Cynthia Nixon, two of whom are formerly or currently in same-sex relationships and all of whom have more than a few lesbian fans. Actually, the fact that there are even going to be four women starring in a dude movie like this is news that should make anyone happy.

Neil Patrick Harris, director?

Neil Patrick Harris has already done everything else in show business short of escaping Houdini-style from a locked trunk at the bottom of a lake—and don’t count out that option yet, given his lifelong interest in magic tricks—including directing television and stage productions. So the next step on the ladder is feature films. His first project for Fox 2000 is Aaron and Sarah, an indie comedy about a geeky guy and a popular girl who meet as freshmen in high school and become best friends. (Look, it could too happen.) Together they weather four proms and a funeral before—can you guess?— finally realizing what was standing right in front of them the whole time. Emma Roberts and Josh Hutcherson will star in what could very well turn out to be the (500) Days of Summer that’s allowed a happier ending. And starring people who aren’t so old.

Hobbit ON

All that angst. All that negotiation. All that director drama. But now it’s official: The Hobbit is happening and Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings trilogy) will, indeed, direct. The bad news is that it’s going to be in that annoying 3D, but the good news is the TTHOLLYWOOD continued page 16

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NOVEMBER 2010

Paula Cole Interview by Chris Azzopardi The pop-folk icon talks new album, hits, and the gays who love her to bits

by Chris Azzopardi Folk-pop hits—and hairy pits—put Paula Cole’s name at the forefront of the late ’90s golden age for female singersongwriters. It wouldn’t have been that decade without the Dawson’s Creek song, her ubiquitous “I Don’t Want to Wait,” and the staple “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?”

Cole disappeared for many years afterward, reemerging with 2007’s jazz-tinged Courage. Just last month she released its follow-up, Ithaca, her fifth album.

Outside of a Massachusetts coffeehouse, Cole spoke to us about the new disc, sucking at social networking, her growing gay following—and yes, even her armpit hair.

Folk-pop hits—and hairy pits—put Paula Cole’s name at the forefront of the late ’90s golden age for female singersongwriters. It wouldn’t have been that decade without the Dawson’s Creek song, her ubiquitous “I Don’t Want to Wait,” and the staple “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?”

Cole disappeared for many years afterward, reemerging with 2007’s jazz-tinged Courage. Just last month she released its follow-up, Ithaca, her fifth album.

Outside of a Massachusetts coffeehouse, Cole spoke to us about the new disc, sucking at social networking, her growing gay following—and yes, even her armpit hair.

So the album’s Ithaca—is that where you’re living right now?

No. I live back in my hometown of Rockport, Mass., and Rockport really is my Ithaca—my home and the place I’m coming back to after a long bout in the world slaying dragons and all that. I did live in Ithaca, N.Y., when I was very young. We lived in a trailer park and it was kind of a tough time for my family, so it represents some place of inner fortitude for me.

How personal is the album for you?

It’s really an important album for me.

These songs—the vast majority of them anyway—were written while I was going through the divorce, and I was just so lucky to have music to turn to, some place to help me heal. These songs just demanded to be written.

You go through periods of drought as a writer, and you don’t know when the mystery will hit, and that mystery—that beautiful muse—was very alive for me in this period.

Were they written over a long period of time then?

Well, I was stuck in divorce court for two years, so they were certainly written then—and also, after. I made Courage while I was coming off a long hiatus, a long time away from the music business. And that was necessary. But I needed help with Courage. I needed co-writers, because I was this kind of broken bird.

With Ithaca I wanted to get back to my process that defined the work of the ’90s for me, where I wrote my songs 100 percent with a highly personal process. I wanted to be involved in production again, because I’m a music geek (laughs).

Do you feel acclimated now with the way the business has shifted in the last decade with social networking sites and such?

(Laughs) I pretty much suck at social networking, and I suck at promoting and photo shoots, and I have to go and confront those weaknesses. I really am much more of an introvert, but I need life with music in it and I need to make a living with my music. It’s the only thing I want to do. I’m in a groove of being in the world again, of not being such a hermit. I feel like I’m an anomaly though—a 42-year-old white woman aiming for a second career.

There’s no pressure from the label to Tweet or Facebook?

They’re making me! They’re standing over me with a whip! (Laughs) I’ve never Tweeted—am I saying the verb correctly?

Yes, that’s correct.

It just sounds so much like twat. I just can’t f*cking take it seriously (laughs). I’m not going to discuss my latest bowel movement.

It’s just so ridiculous to me.

What I do is all there at the live shows.

If they’re interested, just come to the live shows. I’m really proud of that. I mean, I’m a writer but I also really need the live shows. I would be a horribly bitchy and anxious person if I didn’t have music to help me through this life. I need it as much as I need air.

Do you feel like you’re obligated to play “I Don’t Want to Wait” on tour?

Oh yeah, but that’s OK; it’s like an old friend. And that song plays itself. It’s always fun, it’s always uplifting. It’s an important part of the set.

Any regret because of its association with Dawson’s Creek?

(Laughs) It’s mixed. On one hand I feel like it’s outrageous for me to complain because that song paid for my living off the road and taking care of my asthmatic child.

That song gave me a living, so I’m incredibly grateful for it. But it is very weird. I’m a committed musician with my college degree in music for God’s sake, so it’s kind of disgusting that I’m compartmentalized and stigmatized by these moments really—a moment of a hairy armpit at the Grammys or the Dawson’s Creek moment or my two hit songs.

The hairy pits moment was a big deal.

It’s all fine. It’s all good fun. It’s all passed now. And it’s all not very important either, is it? But I guess it’s just funny, and I was just too stressed to roll with the joke at the time. I was on a plane to Europe and overworked and just stressed out. I was also pretty naive; I had never watched the Grammys, and then I was on it. I was very unprepared.

You didn’t know you were supposed to shave your armpits?

Well, I just didn’t think it would be so

Paula Cole performs at the Englert Theatre in Iowa City, Friday, November 19, 2010 8pm

noticed. I don’t know what I thought. I don’t know what I think of it even now. I don’t think I’m anymore prepared for the Grammys now than I was before (laughs).

But anyway, it’s very weird to be defined by that when I consider myself a very committed musician. But that’s OK, because right now I have a chance at a second, more authentic career—and how many artists really have that chance?

I feel very fortunate. A lot of artists that are my peers, my age, don’t even Paula Cole. Photo: Fabrizio Ferri have record deals anymore. They’ve sold more albums than Any idea why now? me, but they might not be inspired to write Gosh, I find that they know a lot of the or as prolific or as full of acid and fire in rare B-sides, and I’m a real singer with a big their bellies. And I am. range and it’s such a generalization—and I You have quite the lesbian follow- don’t want to generalize—but they do love ing. their females with big voices, and I’ve got Yes, I definitely have my lesbians, and that. I’ve got a big ol’ voice.

I also have my men—my gay men followI feel like, also, I am perhaps a story ing—and I find that that’s the most quickly of empowerment because I am once again growing of my fan base now. Since coming picking myself up by the bootstraps—and back with Courage, I’m finding a lot more we all need those messages, right? We need young gay men at my shows now. those positive affirmations.

NOVEMBER 2010

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Partying Hard: Don’t Mix Rum While Driving... No, Don’t Mix

Driving AND Rum...Or, Don’t Dum and Mixed Diving... Um... by Joshua Dagon Have you ever woken up early on a Sunday morning on a cement floor in an orange jump suit and paper slippers? Have you then noticed that you’ve been laying in your own drool while a man named Ricky Bob, who served with Jesus in Korea, tied your ankles together with the stitching from his colostomy?

Thankfully, I can say that hasn’t ever happened to me. His name was just Ricky.

No seriously, I haven’t ever been arrested for drunk driving, or driving while generally sedated, or any such infraction.

I’ve heard quite a few similar stories, though, from poor unfortunate acquaintances who believed that they would diffuse the affects of tequila if they consumed it with vitamin water. That’s a bad thing to believe. Drunk driving can not only kill you but also innocent people, which might include a bus full of orphan nuns. (There’s just no way to put a good spin on that. Trust me.)

Nowadays, driving while chemically lobotomized can ruin your life. First, there are the fines, which I understand are a tad higher than law school. Also, your driver’s license gets suspended for at least three months, during which time you will be forced to either walk or ride a bus where the use of deodorant is prohibited by law.

If you’re caught driving during the suspension you will certainly go to an actual jail, which is just like the HBO series “Oz,” except with other inmates who aren’t as polite as they rape you.

It’s not a crime to get drunk except, in some states, if you’re in public or teaching dental surgery. All the government asks is that you not operate a motor vehicle and/ or maim anyone. If you choose to take a cab to and from the bar it can be helpful to the economy and you’ll make friends with a taxi driver—unless you do something in the backseat of which they disapprove, such as snort cocaine and/or vomit. (I heard that from a friend; I’ve never vomited in a cab.)

Personally, I’m terrified of what could happen if I drive while mentally impaired, either from consuming a central nervous system depressant, such as alcohol, or from watching back-to-back episodes of “The Vampire Diaries.” So, I very often simply walk to the bar across the street from my home—I live in Las Vegas: yes, there’s a bar across the street from my home. Sure, it’s a sports/sushi bar for members of transsexual biker gangs, but the margaritas are only four dollars and there’s a digital jukebox with five million songs of which eleven—all of them

by Lady Gaga—are played over and over. My neighborhood bar is also very convenient in that, if I’m drunk, I can easily get home because the green light at the crosswalk is slow enough for me to crawl.

Sometimes I go to bars or clubs from which it’s too far for me to crawl home.

However, when I go to such a place I never ever drink, except when they let me inside.

Even then I don’t always buy drinks. If I don’t, though, and one of my friends notices that I’m still able to pronounce consonants, they’ll purchase drinks for me without asking. If someone pays good money for a Rum Monkey Fizz it’s irresponsible not to drink it. After all, there are children in Africa who are sober.

After consuming enough tequila shooters to fuel a Cessna, however, I do have options for getting home, not all of which involve sexual favors—although that is, as each of us know, the most practical choice.

One option is, as stated above, a taxi cab. If I’m at a very trendy club, however, I leave and walk to a location where I don’t have to stand in line for a cab until Ground Hog Day. It never costs more than ten dollars for me to get home, plus a five dollar tip so the driver doesn’t break any of my bones.

This way I don’t have to worry about being stopped at a sobriety checkpoint, where police now use a breathalyzer gun that detects the alcohol fumes in your car from a quarter mile away.

“… The economy can recover from an economic downturn, but society cannot thrive long-term if we abandon the moral absolutes evident in the laws of nature as expressed by nature’s God. Eventually, with hard work and determination, we will climb out of our current economic condition. However, if we fail to take action to defend marriage, which is one of the founding pillars of a healthy society, we can never regain our former stability as a state … I wanted to send you a copy of this petition to remind you that marriage is an important issue, and to ask you to clearly state your support for passing the Iowa Marriage Amendment if you haven’t done so already. The people you are asking to vote for you deserve to know exactly where you stand.”

— Chuck Hurley, President of the Iowa Family Policy Center, in a letter sent to all state-wide and legislative Iowa political candidates prior to the 2010 election. Editor’s note: Mr. Hurley seems blissfully ignorant of the fact that the “laws of nature” could be argued to include polygamy (e.g., lions, gorillas, etc.) and polyandry (e.g., ants, bees, etc.), not to mention the occasional eating of ones young.

“Moral absolutes” seem to be missing entirely from “natural laws” as they actually exists, say… in NATURE.

“Sir, would you roll down your window, please?”

“Okay.”

“Sir, have you been drinking tonight?”

“I’ll have a fresco chicken burrito supreme and a Rum Monkey Fizz, please, Mr. Jack-in-the-Box-lookin’-head-man.”

“Sir, please step out of the vehicle.”

If your Blood Alcohol Level (BAL) is above .18—or as low as .08 if you live in Guam—then you will automatically go to jail to meet Ricky Bob. In twelve states, if convicted for driving while alcohol impaired, you are required to install an “ignition interlock” in your car, which is a mechanism on the dashboard into which a driver has to blow before the car will start.

If you have an ignition interlock in your car and have had a drink or brushed your teeth, then your car will not start and you’ll have to wait in the bar parking lot until you are sober or killed by teenagers with automatic weapons hidden in their hoodies. So, of course, a smart person would do the only rational thing: pay the teenagers to blow into the ignition interlock.

Even though the breathalyzer gun won’t work if you’re just high on cocaine, it’s still not a good idea to drive in that state.

“Sir, would you roll down your window, please?”

“Okay.”

“Sir, have you been drinking tonight?”

Novelist Joshua Dagon is the author of Into the Mouth of the Wolf, The Fallen, and Demon Tears. For more information, please go to www.joshuadagon.com.

To contact Mr. Dagon, please e-mail him at jd@joshuadagon.com.

“Dude! My teeth are totally numb!

Seriously! Feel ‘em!”

I’m not a person who constantly drinks to excess. In fact, my moderation is somewhat excessive. Still, even moderate drinking can render a person unfit to operate a motor vehicle, but not, I’ve learned, unfit to mix a great Rum Monkey Fizz. Also, keep in mind that, in regard to fashion, an orange jumpsuit and paper slippers is so 2006.

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The Outfield by Dan Woog Straight talk on gay softball

As a youth, Henry Belanger didn’t play on many teams. But in his 20s he realized he loved softball—the camaraderie, the competition, the intricacies of the game.

Now—after six years in Boston’s Beantown Softball, the largest gay softball league in New England—it is an integral part of his life. “I wish we could practice three times a week,” he says.

It’s a typical gay-man-and-gay-sports story.

Except Belanger is straight.

Henry Belanger. Photo: Patrick Lentz Photography His day jobs are associate editor of the Good Men Project and owner of a contracting company. His path there included an all-boys Catholic high school (where he “never heard of anyone being out”), and New College of Florida, a small, liberal institution that was “as opposite to my high school as possible.” Belanger lived with a gay housemate and had plenty of gay friends.

But until 2004, when a friend asked if he wanted to play softball, Belanger had no exposure to gay sports.

The friend later mentioned it was a gay team. That was fine; the key for Belanger was that tryouts were not required. In college he’d played on a recreational squad “behind my 60-something philosophy professor,” so the chance to be on a team—at his favorite spot, first base, no less—trumped the fact that he’d be in a minority, sexuality-wise.

(League rules permit three straight players per team.)

At first, Belanger was reluctant to tell his straight friends that he played gay softball. (His father was the last to know.) But it didn’t take long to get over the fear that they’d think he was actually gay. They saw how much fun he was having. (And when he got married, that settled that.)

Besides, he was adding to his roster of buddies. His teammates became good friends—and because, each season, some players left for new teams while new ones arrived, within a few years Belanger knew nearly everyone in the league. The three diamonds behind Harvard Stadium became like another Boston sports institution: Sam Malone’s Cheers bar.

Belanger grew to appreciate gay softball so much that in 2006 he decided his contracting company should sponsor his team. When the squad split in two (some players wanted to move to a higher division), he sponsored both. (One team vetoed his suggestion for a carpentry-related name: The Hammerin’ Homos.)

Belanger’s firm specializes in high-end finishes. The stereotype of gay men flocking to remodel their homes did not hold—but he made enough through the couple of jobs his sponsorship brought in to break even on the cost.

But making money off gay men was not the reason Belanger sprung for jerseys. He genuinely liked the sport, the league and the team. And the competition.

“The better teams in the gay league would absolutely wipe the floor with the straight teams I’ve played on and against,” Belanger says. “They can really hit the ball.

And they’ve got crisp infields.”

(There is also, he notes, “a lot more grab-ass and crotch-adjustment in straight softball.”)

Some players were a bit too competitive for his taste—one team is coached by “a chain-smoking lesbian who takes gay softball really seriously (and) runs a tight… profanity-laced ship”—but overall, Belanger revels in what he sees as the league’s proper balance between playing to win and playing to have fun.

Most teams “aren’t out to prove their toughness or to pretend like they’re playing major league baseball,” he wrote in a story for the Good Men Project. “When someone bounces into a fielder’s choice with the bases loaded, or runs into an out, they don’t give the guy dirty looks. And they don’t relegate the guy to the end of the bench.”

Belanger calls that “a healthier attitude” than he’s seen in straight softball leagues.

“When you get all these ex-college players together, it can be really intimidating,” he says.

Belanger describes gay softball as “one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I’ve gotten together with good people—and had fun.”

Still, he is not above casting a straight man’s eye on his gay sport.

“I loathe Broadway musicals, and theater generally, and my wardrobe consists almost exclusively of jeans and T-shirts,” he wrote on the Good Men Project website.

“Nonetheless, next weekend I will get together with a few dozen gay men for a few hours of hot, sweaty action. It will probably be in the 90s, but we’ll all be wearing leather.

“When I get home at the end of the day, I’ll be filthy and so exhausted I’ll be unable to perform for my wife. I might even phone a buddy or two and brag about my exploits.

“I am a straight man. A straight man who loves gay softball.”

And wants the entire world to know all about his love.

Safe athletes at Bucknell

Men’s lacrosse was the last team Sean Coyne thought he’d see at Bucknell University’s gay dance party.

But that’s where they were last spring.

They came not to mock the event, but to have a good time. Later, several players thanked

Sean Coyne Coyne for inviting them.

He was a fellow athlete—a track star— but the gulf between Coyne and the laxmen loomed large just a few months earlier. The atmosphere on the lacrosse team was far from gay-friendly.

It wasn’t much better on the track squad, surprisingly, when Coyne arrived in 2006. A highly recruited runner and hurdler from Freehold, N.J., he picked the prestigious liberal arts school for its stellar academics and gorgeous campus, plus the good vibe he got from fellow track recruits.

Coyne had known he was “different” since Catholic grammar school (though he did not have a name for it then). At his public high school he realized “this was real.” But to avoid dealing with the reality of being gay, he submerged himself in activities. Coyne took AP classes, was active in the National Honor Society, joined the Latin Club and had a part-time job.

“I kept as busy as possible so I wouldn’t have to explain why I wasn’t seeing someone,” he explains. It was a classic—and literal—case of running away.

When he got to Bucknell, he stayed in the closet. The locker room door seemed firmly shut to gays. The team environment was crude. There were always gay “jokes,” with track athletes putting each other down as “fags” or “homos.”

But Coyne was not a quitter. He told himself he was better than the teammates making unsuspecting comments. He stayed, and ran.

That spring he came out to his best friend, a fellow hurdler. It was inadvertent— the teammate had seen an IM on Coyne’s computer—but he felt less anxious when his friend supported him fully. Slowly, Coyne came out to more teammates. Yet, the antigay locker room comments continued, and he felt powerless to stop them.

As a junior, he grew more comfortable.

He told two captains that their homophobic language perpetuated a negative team culture. They understood. Almost instantly, the slurs stopped.

Emboldened, Coyne joined a club associated with Bucknell’s Office of LGBT Awareness. He became a speaker in the “Safe Space” peer education program, presenting LGBT issues to fraternities and sororities. But he was not part of the Greek system, so when he was offered the chance to work with the athletic department he shifted his focus.

He tailored his presentation to the athletic issues he was so familiar with. For example, he described the difficulty of cooperating on the field while feeling marginalized off it, and discussed the effect anti-gay TTOUTFIELD continued page 15

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NOVEMBER 2010

ACCESSline’s STATEWIDE Recurring Events List The following list is provided by—and corrected by—ACCESSline readers like you. If you would like to add an event, or if you notice a mistake in this list, please email editor@ ACCESSlineIOWA.com.

Interest Group Abbreviations:

L: Lesbian G: Gay B: Bisexual T: Transgender D: Drag +: HIV-related M: General Men’s Interest W: General Women’s Interest A: General Interest K: Kids and Family

Sunday

1st and 3rd Sunday of the Month, TANGO LESSONS AT CSPS, 3-6pm, at 1103 3rd St. SE, Cedar Rapids. Cost is $5. Everyone welcome; no partner or experience necessary. For more info, call Elie at 319-363-1818 or e-mail epsa@aol.com.

[LGBTMWA] Every Sunday, GLBT AA, 5-6pm, at First Baptist Church at 500 N. Clinton St., Iowa City. For more info about Intergroup and Alcoholics Anonymous call the 24-Hour Answering Service at 319-3389111 or visit the AA-IC website: http://aa-ic.org/.

[LGBTMWA] Every Sunday, L WORD LIVES: L NIGHT, 7PM, at the Firewater Saloon, 347 South Gilbert St., Iowa City, 319-321-5895. The night will start with Season 1, Episode 1 of the L Word... because a good thing should never die. FoLLowing the L Word wiLL be a Drag King show at 9:30pm No cover. Tel, 319321-5895. [ L B T W D ] Every Sunday, THE QUIRE: EASTERN IOWA’S GLBT CHORUS REHEARSALS, 6-8:30pm, at Zion Lutheran Church, 310 N. Johnson St., Iowa City.

Membership is open to all GLBT folks, as well as allies who support the community. There are no auditions; you only need to be willing to attend rehearsals regularly and learn your music. The Quire prepares two full concerts each year in the winter and spring, and occasionally performs shorter programs at events in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area. The Quire is a member of Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses (GALA), and has developed a reputation for excellence and variety in its concert programs. For more info, visit http:// www.thequire.org/. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Sunday, QUEER GUERRILLA BRUNCH, Locations around Iowa City to be announced each week. LGBTQIs & Allies gather for Sunday brunch to celebrate community and create visibility. Sign up for future brunches on Facebook at http://www. facebook.com/group.php?gid=120517046371 [ L GBTMWA] Every Sunday, RAINBOW AND ALLIED YOUTH, 8-11pm, The Center, 1300 Locust, Des Moines, IA 50309. Social group for Queer youth 25 years and under [ L G B T ]

Monday

1st 2nd Monday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG NORTH IOWA CHAPTER MEETING, 7pm, at First Presbyterian Church, 100 S. Pierce St., Mason City.

Meetings are held the First and Second Monday (alternating) of the month. For more info, call 641583-2848. [ L G B T M W A K ] 1st Monday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG QUAD CITIES CHAPTER MEETING, 6:30pm, at Eldridge United Methodist Church, 604 S. 2nd St., Eldridge.

For more info, call 563-285-4173. [ L G B T M W AK] 4th Monday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG WAUKON/NORTHEAST CHAPTER MEETING, 7pm, First Lutheran Church, 604 West Broadway Street , Decorah, IA 52101. in the Fellowship Hall at First Lutheran Church, Decorah. 604 West Broadway Street. (563) 382-2638‎ [ L G B T M W A ] Every Monday, DES MOINES GAY MEN’S CHORUS REHEARSALS, 7-9:30pm, Plymouth Congregational Church, 4126 Ingersoll Avenue, Des Moines, IA . For more information about singing with the Chorus, contact Rebecca Gruber at 515865-9557. The Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

[GMA]

Every Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday, HAMBURGER MARY’S WEEKLY HAPPENINGS at 222 Glenbrook Dr. SE, Cedar Rapids, off of 1st Ave. Mondays – Charity Bingo at 8pm with a special guest hostess; Tuesdays – Kid’s Night; Wednesdays – Game Night; Thursdays – Mary-oke with Nic from 9pm to 1am; Fridays – Drag Show at 9pm (all ages) and 11pm (21 and over); Saturdays – Open Mic Night followed by Drag Show at 9pm (all ages) and 11pm (21 and over). For more info, email hamburgermaryscr@mchsi.com or visit www. hamburgermaryscr.com. [ L G B T M W A K D ] Every Monday Wednesday Thursday Saturday, GLBT ONLY AA MEETINGS IN DES MOINES, 6pm - SAT 5pm, at 945 19th St. (east side of building, south door). [ L G B T M W A ]

Tuesday

2nd Tuesday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG AMES CHAPTER MEETING, 7pm, Youth and Shelter Services Offices, 420 Kellogg Ave., 1st Floor, Ames, IA 50010. Meets in the Paul Room of Youth and Shelter Services at 420 Kellogg Avenue, Ames. For more info, call 515-291-3607. [ L G B T M W A K ] 2nd Tuesday of the Month, GLRC OF CEDAR RAPIDS BOARD MEETING, 6:30-8pm, Cedar Rapids, IA . at 6300 Rockwell Dr, Cedar Rapids.

Meetings are open to the general public. For more info, call 319-366-2055 or visit: http://www.crglrc. org/. [ L G B T M W A ] 2nd Tuesday of the Month, SPIRITUAL SEEKERS, 7-8:30pm, Iowa City, IA . at Trinity Episcopal Church, 320 E. College St, Iowa City. Spiritual Seekers is a group for people of all faiths, or of little faith, who wish to make deeper connections between their sexual identities and the spiritual dimension in their lives. Meetings include discussion of specialized topics, telling of pieces of our faith journeys, and occasional prayer and meditation. (On the 4th Tuesday of each month, the group gathers at a local restaurant for food and fellowship.) For more info, contact Tom Stevenson: tbstevenson@mchsi.com or 319.354.1784. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, OUT (OUR UNITED TRUTH): A GLBT SUPPORT GROUP, 7-8:30pm, Peoples Church Unitarian Universalist, 600 3rd Avenue Southeast, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401. For more info, call 563-359-0816. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, ACE INCLUSIVE BALLROOM, 7-8:30pm, Old Brick, 26 East Market Street, Iowa City, IA 52245. All skill levels are welcome. American social dance, Latin, a mix of dance from the last 100 years. For more info, contact Mark McCusker at iowadancefest@gmail.com, 319-621-8530 or Nora Garda at 319-400-4695, or visit http://iowadancefest.blogspot.com/. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, ARGENTINE TANGO, 7:30-9:30pm, Iowacity/Johnson Co Senior Center, 28 South Linn Street, Iowa City, IA 52240. Practice and open dance. A donation of $1-2 per person is requested for use of the Senior Center. For more info, contact Karen Jackson at 319-447-1445 or email kljedgewood@msn.com. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, KARAOKE IDOL, 9pm, Studio 13, 13 South Linn Street, Iowa City, IA 52240.

Drink specials and great competition! Visit www. sthirteen.com. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, ACE HAS FACE THE MUSIC & DANCE, 7-9pm, 26 E Market St, Iowa City, IA 52245.

All skill levels are welcome. Tango, Waltz, Disco, Country, American social dance, Latin, a mix from the last 100 years. Join on Facebook at http://www. facebook.com/group.php?gid=372454708295. For more info, contact ACE experiment at 319-8538223. [ L G B T M W A ] First and Third Tuesday, YOUTH FOR EQUALITY, 4-6pm, The CENTER, 1300 W Locust St, Des Moines, IA 50309. A service and action group for youth who identify as LGBTQI and their allies.

Open to all students in grades 5 through 12. [ L G BTMWA]

Wednesday

1st Wednesday of the Month, CEDAR RAPIDS CHARTER CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN BUSINESS WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION, For more info, visit charter-chapter.tripod.com. [ L W ]

TTEVENTS continued page 28

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OUTFIELD comments have on recruits who may be gay—or have gay relatives or friends.

Some coaches supported the effort.

Others dragged their feet. They were in the middle of their season, they said, or they wanted to wait until the following year, when new freshmen arrived.

The first team Coyne addressed was his own. Both the men’s and women’s track squads soon voted—unanimously—to make their teams “Safe Spaces.”

In the 2009-10 school year, Coyne presented to 10 teams. Besides the track squads, five others— women’s lacrosse, men’s and women’s swimming and diving, women’s field hockey and women’s crew— voted unanimously to be “Safe Spaces.”

Forty men’s lacrosse players favored the idea. Two dissented.

“The idea really hits home,” Coyne says. “You figure, ‘Why shouldn’t we be a safe space?’ Everyone might not agree 100 percent, or be a big ally, but they get it. And it’s huge for them that the message comes from a fellow athlete.”

Despite the dissenting votes, men’s lacrosse “got it” more than most other teams. One night last fall, Coyne took guest speaker Brian Sims—an attorney who as an out captain in 2000 led his Bloomsburg University team to the NCAA Division II national championship—to a bar. The lax stars were there. A heartfelt discussion followed – leading soon after to the gay dance party they attended and enjoyed.

Last spring, Coyne graduated with a degree in animal behavior. He’s now at the University of Chicago, working toward his masters in human development. His goal is to earn a Ph.D. Though he’s gone, Bucknell’s “Safe Space” athletic program is in good hands.

Coyne’s former roommate—a gay track athlete— taking the program over, with two females. One is a lesbian water polo player. The other is a soccer player—and straight.

Who better to speak to athletes about homophobia than fellow competitors who care about the issue? And who cares if they’re gay or straight? They just have to shoot straight.

God, gays and games

Gay, lesbian, bi, trans, straight—it doesn’t matter. If you’re an American and you watch big-time sports, you can’t avoid seeing religion too.

A football player scores a key touchdown, and then points his finger to God in the sky. A winning pitcher thanks the Lord for the win. Basketball teams sponsor special “Faith Nights” for their fans.

What in God’s name is going on?

Tom Krattenmaker—a Portland, Ore. journalist and member of USA Today’s board of contributors who writes frequently on religion in public life—figured he’d find out. The result: Onward Christian Athletes: Turning Ballparks into Pulpits and Players into Preachers.

The book—published earlier this year—is an incisive, example-filled look at the often-overlooked, seldom-examined ways in which sports and faith converge.

Krattenmaker believes that “spontaneous” displays of faith are actually part of a well-organized effort—orchestrated by

Tom Krattenmaker “a network of evangelical chaplains and sports ministry organizations”—to unite the powerful institutions of religion and athletics.

Of course, wherever religion pokes its nose, it smells homosexuality. Inevitably, athletics and Christianity converge to create a tangled homo hornet’s nest.

“Anti-gay sentiment is where sports, culture and politics intersect,” Krattenmaker says. “The opposition to gay rights is part of the Christian right rhetoric. And sports as a whole can be homophobic too.”

Though Krattenmaker devotes only a few of his 210 pages to specifically antigay examples, the ones he chooses are chilling.

For example, Ron Brown—an assistant football coach at the University of Nebraska, and former statewide director of operations for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes— wrote a column for the FCA magazine. The football coach focused on women’s sports, decrying the influence of lesbianism (he called it “the elephant in the room that needs to be addressed”). Brown declared that Christians in sports had an obligation to fight homosexuality.

Or take Campus Crusade. The parent organization of Athletes in Action says that “indulgence in any lifestyle or pastime that is illegal or scripturally questionable or forbidden”—let’s say, oh, homosexuality— “may result in termination” of its employees or associates.

Then there’s Tony Dungy. The Indianapolis Colts’ Super Bowl-winning coach stood front and center during Indiana’s political struggle over gay rights.

In a speech accepting an award from the Indiana Family Institute, Dungy said, “We’re trying to promote the family, family values, the Lord’s way. Just like I’m trying to win on the football field the Lord’s way. I’m on the Lord’s side when I’m on the field, and on the Lord’s side when I’m off the field.”

Good lord.

“It’s a complicated tangle of relationships and influences,” Krattenmaker admits, referring to the religious right and sports.

“Teasing out precise causes and effects is a difficult exercise.” But it’s an exercise that must be undertaken, he says.

“So many Christian professional athletes have said ignorant, harmful things,” Krattenmaker notes. (Star pitcher John Smoltz once likened gay marriage to marryTTOUTFIELD continued page 28

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NOVEMBER 2010

Hear Me Out by Chris Azzopardi KT Tunstall, Tiger Suit

this (de)tour de force, she sounds more natural than she ever did doing the whole ballad thing, and she mostly dodges them on Tiger Suit. Songs that could’ve played as folk waltzes are given a whipping verve here—either striking harder with crunchy guitars (“Difficulty”) or sweeping with a momentum-building melody, like with the stunning “Lost,” where Tunstall sounds as crisp as Stevie Nicks. Just like the legend she aspires to, Tunstall finally proves she’s ready to be one herself.

Grade: B+

Maroon 5, Hands All Over Suddenly KT Tunstall sees who she wants to be—and it isn’t the folk-pop musician circa 2006, when she made a big, gay splash with the girl-power galvanizer “Suddenly I See.” After 2007’s Drastic Fantastic sent her back into oblivion, the Scottish soulstress roars back with feisty flavor and an eagerness to ditch the oversaturated “singer-songwriter” genre. Linda Perry, the superproducer who also helped Pink shift from R&B pin-up to pop-rock badass, aids Tunstall’s transit into what she calls “nature techno.” The sound switch is evident from the first track, “Uummannaq Song,” with its African tribal beat and chanting chorus that picks up like a swooping wind blowing through the desert.

Her throaty rasp is wisely framed to fit organic, danceable grooves, especially on “Come On, Get In,” which borrows DNA from her biggest hit, “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” Throughout

chorus and glossier sheen, it eases them into a dancier direction that goes full-on funky town with its follow-up, “Give a Little More.” Bursting with pep and oozing sexiness from Levine’s elastic pipes (the line “you make it so hard” could go so many ways), it’s as retro gay as the Scissor Sisters. The song’s also insanely catchy, but catchy doesn’t mean creative—and Hands All Over, even with producer Robert John “Mutt” Lange (the man behind Shania Twain’s hit trove), makes only simple strides to move Maroon 5 past their brand of procedural funky pop. Their most valiant attempt comes during a shameless crossover collaboration with country music’s Lady Antebellum on “Out of Goodbyes,” a snoozer that falls right in line with the other forgettable, cliché-riddled love songs on the easy-to-dismiss last half, like “How” and “Just a Feeling.” In fact, of all the ballads, “Never Gonna Leave This Bed” is the only one that doesn’t send you to slumber—how’s that for ironic?

Grade: C+

Also Out

Being as hot as frontman Adam Levine can only get you so far—it can’t hone a hook or write a pile of potential radio smashes. But as a band, Maroon 5 can, as they repeatedly have on pop hits so catchy they’re like big wads of bubblegum that your subconscious stepped in. That’s how “Misery,” the quintet’s first single from their third album, is made, too; with its beyond-infectious

Nellie McKay, Home Sweet Mobile Home The singing chameleon sheds another layer of skin on her fifth album, going cross-culture and beelining for Jamaica. Both “Caribbean Time” and “Unknown Reggae” get their islandvibe on, with McKay revisiting the playfulness that defined her debut. She’s also plaintive on the gorgeous “The Portal,” political on “No Equality,” and packing swagger on the jazzy feel-good “Dispossessed.” “I’m feeling like a cool cat with a cabaret hat”, she sings. Because, well, she is one.

SScontinued from page 11

Tilda Swinton bathes in Blood

Ever heard of Erzsebeth Bathory, the 16th-century countess who is reported to have seduced, tortured and murdered over 600 young women because she believed that bathing in their blood would make her live forever? Isn’t she already everyone’s favorite historical lady-vampire/serial killer? Well, if you’re not up to speed on her legend, then Tilda Swinton is going to fix that, when she stars in The Blood Countess (Die Blutgrafin) as Bathory. German director Ulrike Ottinger will take on the strong personalities of Swinton, French star Isabelle Huppert and cult hero Udo Kier (Suspiria), and reports are that the film will lean toward the vampiric end of the story.

Not to worry, though, because with actors

John Legend and the Roots, Wake Up! Give the neo-soul crooner credit for wanting to change the world—and even more for dedicating an entire album to it. By adapting Legend’s milky voice to civil rights-era songs, and especially by way of the Roots’ hip-hop treatment, the socially conscious sentiments are zapped with new life. The singer clocks some of his best vocal work, especially on the brooding 11-minute opus “I Can’t Write Left-Handed,” and kills with a Nina Simone cover. Moving stuff, for sure.

Chris Azzopardi can be reached by email at chris@pridesource.com.

“Don’t let them win. … I hated high school … but if you can get through it, there’s a whole world that exists beyond people treating you badly.“ — Adam Levine, frontman for the rock band Maroon 5, in an “It Gets Better” public service announcement on YouTube, October 10, 2010

“I used to lay in bed and go, ‘How will I come out, will I or won’t I come out?’ … You were at the height of your fame and you came out, and that just blazed a trail for me. It really did, it made it so much easier for me what you did.”

— Jane Lynch (on the Ellen DeGeneres Show on September 15, 2010) to Ellen DeGeneres.

HOLLYWOOD potential for a powerhouse cast. Now here’s where it all turns into speculation: the word is that Dr. Who star David Tennant is up for a role, as is Michael Fassbender (Inglourious Basterds), and that Martin Freeman (The Office, Hot Fuzz and the current BBC series Sherlock) is being eyed as Bilbo Baggins.

Obviously some, but not necessarily all, characters from the earlier films will appear, but there will be Gandalf. At the moment, Sir Ian McKellen is listed as merely “rumored” to play that part on his IMDB page, but who else could step into those robes? Name one person. See? It’s impossible. And making this happen fast is definitely on the agenda since there’s the possibility of a February 2011 start date.

Brandon Flowers, Flamingo Imagine Bruce Springsteen and the Killers, which Flowers heads, making a baby—in other words, this solo project. Western flourishes and vague religious themes can’t free him enough from his quartet’s glam-rock essence, even when he’s pitching changeups like “Only the Young” and “Hard Enough,” a duet with Jenny Lewis.

The rest isn’t half bad either, but Flowers is so invested in selling himself, he gets away with more than he should.

Tilda Swinton. Photo: Magnolia Pictures.

and subject matter like this, the Twilight crossover audience looking in vain for something approaching a love story will be a tiny sliver of a Venn Diagram. Meanwhile, there exists the promise of Tilda Swinton bathing in a blood-tub, which is something everyone can probably agree will be worth buying a ticket to see.

Glee’s Jane Lynch and Lea Michele work the microphone

They’re going to hide their faces but not their voices. The two Glee stars are each working on animated projects even as they continue to shoot the second demanding season of the elaborate musical TV show.

Lynch is playing against type for hers,

voicing the role of sweet, kind Aunt May Parker on the upcoming animated series Ultimate Spider-Man. Lea Michele, on the other hand, is stepping right into diva-red slippers as Dorothy Gale in the feature film Dorothy of Oz. The musical film features a mostly male voice cast, including Patrick Stewart, Dan Aykroyd, James Belushi, Hugh Dancy, Oliver Platt, Kelsey Grammer and Martin Short. And while some of those gentlemen can sing, none of them are most well-known for that talent, so this is definitely going to be a showcase for the young lady when it finally hits theaters sometime in 2012.

Romeo San Vicente’s favorite Oz characters are those apple-pelting trees. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

“Waking up with someone you love and spending every day with them and having a child. I love her. She is the best.”

— Actress Jane Lynch when asked “What is the best part of being married?”

by SheKnows.com. Lynch married Dr. Lara Mebry, a clinical psychologist in Massachussets in May, 2010.

NOVEMBER 2010

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ACCESSline Page 17

Grant Wood biographer touring Iowa R. Tripp Evans, author of the new Grant Wood biography Grant Wood: A Life, will be touring Iowa during November 2010 with stops across eastern and central Iowa.

Editor’s note: ACCESSline is co-sponsoring the special dinner event at Schera’s Restaurant and Bar in Elkader, Iowa on November 13.

Iowa Public Radio (10am) Davenport, IA: Figge Art Museum (7pm); 225 West Second St. (book signing at Figge, 5:30-6:45pm)

Reviewer Comments: “Evans’ book is much more than a biography — it is also a lesson in looking and seeing…. a valuable contribution to this country’s cultural history, and one that shows the insidious homophobia that has often shaped that history. This is a splendid, beautifully written book.” – Doug Ireland, Gay City News “Evans unravels the strings of myth and invention that wrapped around Wood...

In the end, he has given us a portrait of an artist that, like his famous painting, has been reinvented and misunderstood for decades.”

– James Polchin, Lambda Literary

11/7 Des Moines, IA: Des Moines Art Center (2pm); 4700 Grand Ave, Levitt Auditorium Ames, IA: Iowa State University (7pm); Morrill Hall Auditorium, Room 2019

11/4 Iowa City, IA: Interview with Charity Nebbe,

11/5 Iowa City, IA: Prairie Lights Bookstore (7pm); 15 South Dubuque St.

11/8* Des Moines, IA: Ritual Cafe, sponsored by OneIowa (6pm); 13th St. between Grand and Locust 11/9 Ottumwa, IA: Bridge View Civic Center (7pm); 102 Church St.

11/10 Eldon, IA: Eldon Library Hall (7pm); 608 West Elm Street

11/11 Cedar Rapids, IA: Veterans’ Day Program, Teamsters Hall (10am); 5000 J St NW Cedar Rapids, IA: book signing at Veterans Memorial Coliseum (12pm); 50 Second Avenue Bridge (May’s Island) Cedar Rapids, IA: Cedar Rapids Museum of Art (7pm); 410 Third Ave SE

11/13* Dubuque, IA: Dubuque Museum of Art (1:30pm); 701 Locust St. Elkader, IA: SPECIAL EVENT: Schera’s Restaurant and Bar; 107 S Main St; www.Scheras.com – see ad page 22.

Co-sponsored by ACCESSline Newspaper.

(Books will be available for purchase at the event.)

- 6pm meet and greet - 7pm four-course Iowa-inspired dinner with the author, reservation required - 8pm book reading and signing, no reservation required 11/14 Anamosa, IA: Anamosa Public Library (2pm); 600 E First St

R. Tripp Evans is Professor of Art History at Wheaton College in Massachusetts. He is the author of Romancing the Maya: Mexican Antiquity in the American Imagination, 1820-1915 (2004). He received his doctoral degree in the history of art from Yale University and has served as a visiting lecturer at Yale, Wellesley College, and Brown University. He and his partner, Ed Cabral, live in Providence, Rhode Island.

Fall is Here, Time for a Warming Bowl of Heart Healthy Soup by Dr. Michael Fenster family are rich in potassium, manganese, copper, folic acid, vitamin B1 (Thiamin) and vitamins A and C. They are also a great source of fiber.”

Warm up your day with this easy and elegant soup.

Dr. Michael Fenster,MD, interventional cardiologist and chef, shares his Roasted Butternut Squash Soup with Tomato Coulis and Tarragon & Poblano Chili Oil, proving healthy does not mean bland.

We all want to eat better but most of us think that eating healthy means boring, bland foods. Not so says Michael Fenster, chef, practicing cardiologist, and health columnist for the Tampa Tribune. “When talking to audiences about healthy eating or fighting obesity, I am constantly asked two questions: ‘what should I eat?,’ and ‘does it taste good?’ My answer is always the same: eat as much fresh, unprocessed food as you can and yes, eating healthy can taste very good.”

Fall brings a great harvest of fresh, seasonal vegetables. Michael’s Roasted Butternut Squash Soup with Tomato Coulis and Tarragon & Poblano Chili Oil is heart-healthy, easy to make, and absolutely delicious.

“Winter squash, like other colorful veggies, are rich in carotenes. Carotenes are the compounds that give winter squashes like butternut and pumpkin and carrots their yellow, orange or red colors. They are powerful plant components that have demonstrated a potential benefit in cancer prevention and in reducing the development of cardiovascular disease and diabetes. These members of the Cucurbitaceae

Roasted Butternut Squash Soup with Tomato Coulis and Tarragon & Poblano Chili Oil

Makes 16 8-oz servings 100 Calories per serving; 3g fat; 160 mg Sodium; 15g Carbohydrate; 4 g Protein Butternut squash has a fantastic, subtly sweet earthiness that echoes autumn. This creamy soup uses a combination of classic soup pot vegetables and chicken stock to form a backdrop to highlight these flavors. Honey and maple syrup add a flavorful sweetness without being cloying. The roasted poblano chilies bring a touch of heat to offset that sweetness and add an element of the wood fire; a particularly potent fall scent. The herbal tarragon and splash of sweet roasted tomatoes in the coulis remind us of summer’s bounty; fading but not quite yet gone. This soup is a perfect transition through the gamut of flavors and sensations as summer yields into fall. By roasting the squash, you scent your home with a whiff of fall that no Yankee Candle can match. You’ll also have a powerhouse of nutrition to use the whole week long (it freezes well, too).

Michael recommends using homemade chicken stock to eliminate the large amounts of sodium, other additives and preservatives found in store-bought stock.

• 2 (about 1 pound each) butternut squash • 1 Tbs butter • 2 Tbs oil • 1 tsp salt

• ½ tsp pepper • 1 cup sweet onion (rough chop) • 2 carrots (rough chop) • 2 ribs of celery (rough chop) • 2 leeks (white part only) (rough chop) • 1 shallot (rough chop) • 2 cloves garlic (rough chop) • Juice of 1 lemon • ½ cup white wine • 2 qts chicken stock (or vegetable nage for vegetarian version) • 1 Tbs maple syrup • 1 Tbs honey • Roasted Grape Tomato Coulis (recipe follows) • Roasted Tarragon & Poblano Oil (recipe follows) • Roasted corn for garnish (recipe follows) 1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2. Peel, seed and roughly chop the squash.

Place in an oven proof baking dish and lightly cover with 1 Tbs oil, salt and pepper.

3. Bake for about 30-35 minutes or until tender. Remove the squash and allow it to cool.

4. In a large heavy bottomed pot, add the butter and remaining oil. Sweat the vegetables for several minutes; do not allow them to brown.

5. Add the lemon juice and the white wine.

Allow the wine to cook off until almost gone.

6. Add the chicken stock, maple syrup and honey. Bring to a boil and simmer for 45 minutes.

7. Then in small batches in a blender or food processor, or using an immersion blender, blend the soup until it is smooth and creamy throughout.

To serve, place the soup in the serving dish. Drizzle with the tomato coulis and the tarragon & roasted poblano chili oil and garnish with fire roasted corn.

Roasted Grape Tomato Coulis • 1 pound sweet grape tomatoes • 1 Tbs tomato paste 1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2. Place the tomatoes in an oven-proof dish and lightly drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast for about 20 minutes, until the tomatoes just start to split.

3. Transfer to a food processor and puree.

Run the pureed tomatoes through a fine sieve and add in the tomato paste

Tarragon Poblano Chili Oil

• 1 ounce fresh tarragon • 1 red pepper • 6 poblano peppers • ¾ cup olive oil 1. To roast the red peppers and poblano peppers, place them over the hottest part of a grill or directly over a burner flame or under a broiler. Allow the skin to char and then allow the peppers to rest sealed in a zip loc bag. After a few minutes it will be easy to remove the skins.

2. Slice the peppers and remove the seeds.

3. Remove the leaves from the tarragon and discard the stems.

4. Place the peppers in the food processor along with the tarragon and oil. Puree.

5. Strain the puree through a fine sieve and reserve the oil.

Roasted Corn Garnish • 2 ears of corn, roasted • Juice of 2 limes

Remove the kernels from the ears. Mix with the lime juice.

Recipes © Michael Fenster Photographs © Jennifer Fenster www.WhatsCookingWithDoc.com.

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NOVEMBER 2010

The Gay Wedding Planner: True Southern Belles by Beau Fodor Saturday Afternoon, on October 16, 2010, right before sunset, with warm Indian Summer breezes blowing and Zen wind chimes twirling in the background, Amiee Michele Sadler married her life partner Andrea JurDeka Armstrong, both of Nashville, Tennessee, in a simply elegant and organic wedding ceremony, officiated by the Reverend Tim Lord.

A custom and personalized photoshoot

by Gayle Onnen of Photography by Gayle completed the picture-perfect autumnal wedding. As I fought back tears, witnessing yet another young couple believing

in their love and themselves—enough to make this cross-country journey with a pioneering spirit—I thought to myself, “Against ALL odds, theses two beautiful young brides had the wedding we all should be entitled to.”

After just four and a half weeks of planning, a very modest budget, having to say a tearful goodbye (“We’ll be back home as soon as we’re married” to their four year old daughter, Blair), and then a long 18-hour drive from the Blue Ridge Mountains, well… the Brides finally arrived and spent their wedding weekend as guests

at the Suites of 800 Locust, in downtown Des Moines, enjoying the Hotel, skywalk, spa services, room service, champagne brunches, meeting and making new friends all while sharing their personal journey and stories and attending a very special OneIowa event the night of the wedding!

Their “back story” is one of the most motivating and truly humbling I’ve ever shared part in.

And know these woman will someday be allowed to “pay-it-forward.” I don’t think I’ve ever met two more gracious and grateful ladies!

Beau,

I don’t know where to start because thank you isn’t nearly big enough to express the over whelming gratitude I feel in my heart and soul towards you. There’s a lot you don‘t know. While I realize the back story didn’t matter to you because you jumped out on a limb for us, sight unseen walking on blind faith. Even so, I wanted you to know.

My mother and father were both judges. My father graduated from Harvard University for his undergraduate degree in divinity studies and then Vanderbilt Law School for his Juris Doctorate. He was Nashville’s first African American night court judge. My mother graduated summa cum laude from Tennessee State University with a degree in Chemistry and then got her Juris Doctorate from the University of Detroit Mercy. She was the first African American Juvenile Court Judge and General Sessions Judge in Tennessee.

While both of my parents are highly educated and ‘accepting’ of other people—my mother marches in the pride parade to support her friends and co-workers, my father does pro bono work for the ACLU and HRC—they hate my lifestyle. My father sings in the church choir, feeds the homeless, and runs bible study and is one of the most homophobic men you will ever meet. My mother used my “alternative lifestyle” to take my daughter from me before she was two years old. She didn’t want her subjected to my “devious and perverted” lifestyle. Needless to say, they were not supportive of our marriage.

Andrea’s family is the complete polar opposite. Her father is serving a life term for murdering a police officer during a failed robbery when Andrea’s mother was three months pregnant with her. Her mother is a recovering crack addict currently raising Andrea’s six nieces and nephews ranging in age from two to twelve years old. She is raising them because Andrea’s sister can’t stay clean long enough to keep food in the house for them. While her mother is completely supportive of us she can barely afford to support herself and her grandchildren. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t afford it.

I work forty hours a week if not more, trying to make ends meet. Andrea works as a crew member at Arby’s, making $7.25 an hour working barely 12 hours every two weeks. I do event planning and graphic design on the side when I have time between school and work to have a little extra. While things could be worse, we are barely making it.

We’ve always wanted the security of being married but figured it would never happen for us. We knew our best shot was with my school check. We planned to rent the car and head for the corn fields. We knew we had $1000 and four days. Originally we planned to cross the border, have quick ceremony in our hotel room and spend the rest of the weekend in the pool.

When you called Friday I was in the bank wondering how we were going to finish the trip and where we were going to stay. We had the hotel room reserved but my debit card was frozen. I was able to get some cash out of my account but no hotel was going to let us have a room with no credit card. When you told us about the suite I cried. Beyond the excitement of staying in the best hotel in Iowa, we would not be sleeping in the car.

When we made it to the hotel and had trouble checking in I just knew it was all too good to be true. When I walked back in and everything was resolved I almost cried again. Then, like magic, there you stood like my fairy god father.

You gave us the most magical, elegant, romantic and beautiful ceremony I have ever seen other than on TV. I know weddings are your life and ours cost you more than any other but the difference you have made in our lives is priceless.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Unless things change in a big way soon we won’t be having a ceremony in February. At first that hurt me. Then as I was clicking through all of the wedding web sites I have saved and crying about the reception I’m not going to have and the dress I don’t get to wear I clicked back to your blog and remembered fairy tale you made come true for us and realized, I didn’t need anything else. You gave us it all, and I cannot thank you enough.

All my love and gratitude,

Amiee Michele Armstrong

Beau Fodor is an Iowa wedding planner who focuses specifically on weddings for the LGBT community. He is also the host of the new docu-reality show “BRIDES & GROOMS”, which is co-produced

by Pilgrim Films and Coolfire Media, and will be premiering this winter on cable television. Beau can be reached through iowasgayweddingplanner.com or gayweddingswithpanache.com.

Top: Amiee Michele Sadler and Andrea JurDeka Armstrong.

Bottom: Reverend Tim Lord officiates.

Photos: Photography by Gayle

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True Southern Belles (continued)

“There are no words for how magical our experience was. Beau and his team made the most special day of our lives better than we ever imagined.” - Amiee & Andrea Armstrong Photos: Photography by Gayle (www.gayleonnen.info)

The “STEAMPUNK” wedding of the year! by Beau Fodor Steampunk is a sub-genre of science fiction, alternate history, and speculative fiction that came into prominence during the 1980s and early 1990s. …

“Google” it and enter a whole new world...

It also was the theme of Andrew Martin and Cole Fuller’s nuptials on Saturday, September 18th, at 504 East Locust in the East Village, directly below the steps of

Iowa’s Capitol Building!

The venue—the entire 3rd floor of an old F.W. Woolworths’ department store—could not have been a more perfect setting.

The programs actually set the stage, and the art work on them was personally created for the boys by Ashley Stabenow.

Andrew’s Mom, Kim, looking stunning

in her vintage dress, was a fabulous co-host with Cole’s parents, Michael and Candy, and from the moment the Violinist, Ellie Davenport, began to play, everyone was totally into the theme.

And I felt like I had been transported back to the past and I was on the set of “Somewhere in Time.”

Reverend Mark Stringer officiated beautifully, and a poem read by Allison

Fisher had everyone, myself included, fighting back tears.

A fabulous vegan buffet dinner was catered by Felix and Oscar’s of Des Moines and an open bar, tended by our handsome and charming mixologist Jonathon Edge, made everyone very comfortable.

The Grooms had the wedding of their dreams—that was actually out of their dreams...

Andrew Martin and Cole Fuller (upper left), whose “steampunk” wedding was Sep. 18th 2010 on the 3rd floor of the old Woolworths’ department store in downtown Des Moines.

Photos: Photography by Gayle (www.gayleonnen.info)

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Cocktail Chatter by Ed Sikov Look, darling! A cocktail just for us!

The puppies were in residence that weekend, which meant the rest of us gorged on calorie-free eye candy, since the boys were untouchable. The best we could do was smell them.

Robbie had a distinct personal funk that shifted a little from day to day: top notes of salt water with middle notes of two rank men—Robbie and the previous night’s trick. Kyle, on the other hand, always smelled faintly of Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap, which blended with his naturally sweet disposition to create aromatically the ideal playmate, soulmate, best friend, husband and ultimately survivor, weeping over the grave even as he inherits the fortune. I had a major crush on him.

CNN’s prepster-geek reporter Jack Fogg showed up, too, along with his glorious boyfriend, Sammy. Dan came straight from the airport (conference in Cleveland) in a stressed, must-be-medicated state.

And with the angel of cocktail creation smiling upon us, it was Craig’s weekend as well.

If you found yourself in a Tarantinodesigned slaughterhouse with a large enough beam balance, you could hang Craig on one hook and the rest of us on the opposite end, and Craig would still remain on the ground. Not really, but in the Pines, Craig felt like (and frankly looked like) a mastodon. But he adored the beach and loved our house, so he braved the stares and not-even-stifled laughs of skinny, giggling twinkies who didn’t have a quarter of Craig’s wit. He dismissed them Bugs Bunny-style as “maroons.”

We were all in the living room late on Saturday afternoon when Craig, as though by instinct, launched into one of his routines: a frightfully accurate imitation of a certain glamorous 1950s song belter.

He ran through bits from It’s Always Fair Weather and Kismet, and even the song she sings (uncredited) in Bette Davis’s—Mr. Skeffington. I was, as usual, enthralled and applauded at the end; Dan grinned with joy.

Craig’s Dolores Gray was phenomenal. He even claims to have coached Lypsinka.

Jack and Sammy were polite but clueless. Kyle said, with wide-eyed wonder, “Wow! You’re really good! Who was that?

She’s amazing!”

At which point Robbie stood up, stretched dramatically to show off his chilired treasure trail, and announced, “Why do bitter queens love clownish women from old movies nobody else cares about?

I’m too young for this. I won’t be back for dinner.” And out the door he strolled.

“Asshole,” said Kyle. Dan seethed. Jack and Sammy kept their mouths shut; they probably agreed with Robbie but were too polite to say it. I was offended across the board—for Craig, for old movies, for the late Dolores Gray—and was paralyzed with outrage. “Robbie’s hot,” Sammy observed.

Jack threw a pillow at him.

“Eureka!” Craig declared. “I have just invented a cocktail to celebrate the revelation that Robbie is an agent of Satan. I always thought there was something suspicious about that flaming red hair. Gents?

Who would like a Bitter Queen?”

“What goes into a bitter queen?” Kyle asked innocently.

“Nothing! That’s the problem!” Craig batted back.

Here’s Craig’s incredibly simple and quite delicious recipe. We collectively added the descriptive details during a slightly sodden dinner:

The Bitter Queen

1. Take last night’s martini glass with the dregs still in it, and toss the dregs in the sink. Don’t rinse out the glass.

2. Add a bit too much Jameson Irish Whiskey and three or four dashes of Angostura Bitters.

3. Plunk a single, pathetic ice cube into the glass. For the full effect, drink it alone.

Variation: “The Bitter Old Queen”: use Jameson 12-year Special Reserve.

They Hate Me. They Really Hate Me! I was trying not to take it personally.

Really.

OK, I was taking it personally. Why else had they all called to say they’d be at the house in time for dinner on Friday but no earlier? Therefore no cocktail hour(s).

I admit it: I’m an out-of-control control freak. I was making a perfect meal: Bobby Flay’s barbecued salmon; Israeli couscous, which I was spiffing up with saffron and grill-roasted red peppers; and a salad (from a bag—I can be lazy about salads).

We would start with Pernod from the freezer, and dessert would be a delightfully thick and creamy drink made to order.

Then it hit me: they were avoiding what I claimed was that week’s “cocktail du weekend”! I’d stupidly sent out an e-mail claiming that I’d found an obscure drink recipe and would be making it on Friday.

It was called the Booger.

It was, of course, repulsive: half part banana liqueur, half part coconut rum and half part Midori. As if this combo wasn’t wretched enough, Boogers get topped off with Baileys Irish Cream. Shake with ice.

Strain. Drink. Vomit.

Bogus Boogers drove them away! The puppies, Robbie and Kyle, both said they were meeting friends for drinks at low tea (wasn’t I their friend?). Craig preferred Top o’ the Pines; he was meeting Paolo there for martinis. Even Dan said he was stopping at BarHarbor for a Campari and soda before coming home. Did none of them have a sense of humor? At least Kyle apologized before bailing on me.

Dan arrived around 8:30. “Where are the snot shots?” he asked pleasantly. A growl was my reply. He turned away from me toward the stairs, and I lost it. “Do you really think I’d make that shit?” I barked.

His face took on that stricken look he gets when I bawl him out for something he doesn’t understand. Then I felt guilty. “It was just a joke, sweetie. A bad joke. You know me. Would I ever make a Booger?”

“You just might,” he said, “as some sort of revenge.”

The other guys staggered in around 9:30, all totally plastered. The barbecued salmon was gummy. The couscous

clumped. Only the salad was any good, and that was because it was still in the bag. I was seething. We ate in silence. The puppies were too drunk to talk; Craig was too caught up in his food; Paolo was visibly frightened of me and my temper; and Dan knew he was already on thin ice. We both hated dinners like this; we called them “Night of the Living Drunks.” So I refused to make the “cocktail du weekend.” The Brandy Alexanders would have to wait.

The Brandy Alexander

It’s strictly a dessert drink. Never order one before dinner, or everyone will think you’re too young to know any better or, if you’re over 30, you simply have god-awful taste.

• 2 parts brandy • 1/2 part dark creme de cacao • 1/2 part or more heavy cream • Nutmeg (optional) 1. Mix brandy, creme de cacao and cream in a shaker filled with ice. Put on top and cap and shake shake shake—create some froth.

2. Strain into a martini glass and sprinkle a little nutmeg on top. I’m the type who keeps whole nutmeg in a glass jar and uses a little nutmeg grater; McCormick’s is almost as good, though not nearly as pretentious.

Ed Sikov is the author of Dark Victory: The Life of Bette Davis and other books about films and filmmakers.

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This is my belief. If or when churches behave in an immoral way, we are bound by conscience to speak up on it. If they disseminate misinformation about gay persons, we are bound, by conscience, to challenge them on it. Religion must be moral. We have a right to demand this of religion. We should not give any church or sect a pass to be immoral.

- Author Anne Rice on Facebook, October 9, 2010

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Greetings from Thailand by Rachel Eliason I chose to have my sex change done in Thailand for many reasons. I give these reasons out judiciously according to my audience.

For my family, who has many concerns about my health and well being, I emphasize the doctor that I have chosen. He has thirty-some years experience and is ranked one of the top in the world. For this kind of procedure the surgeon’s skill is paramount.

For people at work and more casual acquaintances—the short reason is money.

Even using one of the top surgeons in the country, I am paying about half what I would stateside. That doesn’t include ancillary costs, like hotel and food. (I have to

My Doctor is a busy guy; he’s got several patients staying at this hotel as I write. We greet each other in passing in the lobby or about the grounds. A young Indian woman with her face heavily bandaged beckons to me in the lunch room. She tells me in broken English that she had her SRS four years ago. She is back for facial feminization surgery.

“Dilation, it’s a pain, no?” she asks and I nod. We bond.

Through the loneliness of being a thousand miles from home, I feel another kind of connectedness. I am part of not just the local Trans community, but the world. Despite our difference skin color, language and culture, we recognize our

“The Grand Palace in Bangkok built in 1782, is the official residence of the King of Thailand.” (Wikipedia; photo: Wikimedia Commons) stay close to the surgeon’s office for about a month total, so it adds up.)

For the ACCESSline readership, I would like to share one of the deeper motivations: I am a romantic. This is important for three main reasons: One, I am a neo-pagan. In ancient times most major life changes were marked by periods of separation. Think of a young Native American boy going on a vision quest, or the still-practiced tradition of keeping the bride from the groom on the wedding day, and you get the point. I believe setting aside mundane concerns for a few days—or up to several weeks—allows a person (and the community) to adjust to the new role. My trip here serves much the same purpose. This is, to say the least, a once-in-a-lifetime change for me and I want to make the most of it.

Two, being far from home is lonely, but it also prevents mundane life from interfering with my recovery. I try to stay focused on the present, as I won’t be here again: I journal, I meditate, and I make the most of this.

Three, I am a member of the Trans community. We have always been willing to travel. Christine Jurgensen, America’s first Transsexual went to Europe to have her surgery. Alicia Brevard and many of her generation went to Monaco. Now Thailand is the Mecca for transsexuals wanting SRS.

commonality. We are all Trans, all here for one purpose.

There is a reason why Thailand is the new Mecca. It has partly to do with the right combination of technology and economics.

Thailand is a rapidly developing country.

The medical care is first rate, equivalent to any in the western world. The economy is still growing and the U.S. Dollar goes a long way.

The deeper, more prevalent reason is cultural. Trans people have a long history in Thailand. It’s a history that runs back some 2,600 years, 600 years before Christ, when the Buddha taught a new spiritual philosophy based on compassion, acceptance and tolerance. In Thailand 97% of the population follows the Theravada sect of Buddhism. Its primary scripture is the Tilipitika, a long recording of what the Buddha had to say on numerous subjects.

One of those things, buried deep within the text, was the Buddha’s views on sex.

Buddha taught that there were four of them—that’s right, four distinct sexes.

There were two we recognize immediately, male and female. The third is also a no-brainer once you think about it: intersex or hermaphrodite. Finally there is a fourth, a word that can only be approximately translated as “gender anomalous”; or perhaps more colloquially, as transgender. In the party districts of Bangkok and Phukket they are called “Kathoey” or lady-boys. In more

dignified circles the term commonly used is “Sao Praphet Song” literally “a different kind of woman.”

The Buddha also provided a reason why some people are born either intersex or transgender. He said it was karma. In more intellectual circles this can lead to some debate about past life actions and transgressions, but the Thais seem to approach their religion with far more simple devotion than intellect. To them, Karma means you were born that way.

You can’t be held responsible for what you might have done or not done in some past life. Besides, to avoid your karma would be almost sacrilegious here.

They allow room for the kathoey, but also for many of the other variants in gender and sexuality. It’s just not a big deal here. I had read about this in articles and books, and I wanted to see it for myself. If I was going to have surgery, I wanted my recovery to be surrounded by people who might accept that I wanted this surgery in the first place.

So here I am, and I have seen it now with my own eyes, it’s quite something. It’s one thing at the hotel, where so many Trans people come and go. More remarkable still, was the first trip that my travel companion Kelly and I took to the mall. There in TescoLotus (think Wal-mart mixed with Hy-vee) I spotted one young Trans woman working behind the makeup counter. In America, this would draw looks, but not here; here it all seems so normal.

Not to mention the fact that many men wear make-up here. The waiter in the hotel restaurant really knows how to make his gorgeous eyes pop. On my second trip to the mall I watched two workers, one male, one female, casually helping each other get their face on for the day.

Meanwhile back in America we are faced with a string of LGBT youths that have committed suicides. Suicides prompted by a level of harassment, bullying and discrimination that seems almost impossible here. I remember their pain from my own childhood. It doesn’t take much to be singled out. The tiniest transgression of gender norms can do it, the way you walk, the way you stand, etc.

Here I see women with short hair cuts, and boys with long heavily styled locks. I see young men in make-up, wearing feminine tops with blue jeans. It is very ambigu-

“Nong Tum is arguably the best-known kathoey (male-to-female transgendered person) in Thailand. She is a former Muay Thai (Thai boxing) champion and has also worked as a model and actor.” (Wikipedia; photo: Wikimedia Commons) ous; style trumps gender, and nobody even bats an eye.

As I recover I spend much of my time in my hotel room surfing Thai TV. No pop or youth-centered show would be complete without at least one incredible effeminate boy in the cast, and not as a joke or token member either.

Without knowing much of the language I have no idea how many Trans women I have seen on TV here. Some are obvious, they make no attempt to raise their deep voices, or hide their size. But many blend in so well that you would have no idea. I have tried to ask the few English speaking Thais I know, but I don’t get far their either.

“Mai Pen Rai” is the usual answer, “It’s no big deal”. They really just don’t care.

In just a couple of weeks I will be on my way back home to America. My purpose here is accomplished and life awaits me. I would like to bring home a souvenir for each and every one of you—I just don’t know where I can get my hands on this Thai acceptance, nor am I sure how to get it through the airport.

I am sure if I could bring even a tiny bit of this attitude home with me, it would make America a better place for everyone.

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Book Worm Sez by Terri Schlichenmeyer “I Was Born This Way”

by Archbishop Carl Bean (with David Ritz) ©2010, Simon & Schuster, 264 pages $24.00 / $32.00 Canada

You have your father’s eyes.

Some say you looked more like Mom when you were little, but you favor Dad now. Same hair, same laugh, same sense of humor.

And the thing is, there isn’t a lot you can do about it. You are who you are.

In the new book “I Was Born This Way”, Archbishop Carl Bean (with David Ritz) tells about his childhood, careers, and God’s love and acceptance.

Young Carl Bean never really knew his father, and he barely knew his birth mother. Born and raised in a poor area of Baltimore, Bean was basically raised by a village of “warm and wonderful women.”

Across 1 Dry as a bone 5 Orgasms, e.g.

11 Islamic leader 15 Publisher of same-sex couples’ legal guide 16 Forbidden fruits 17 Expressed, as farewell 18 Possible model for 56-Across 21 Number of deadly sins 22 Birthright seller 23 Mary Tyler Moore’s costar Ed 24 Prufrock poet’s monogram 25 Hans Christian of fairy tales 28 Early man’s opening 29 Rainbow flag site 31 Osso ___ (veal dish) 33 Oona, who was a possible model for 56Across 36 Audrey, who played 56-Across 39 Old Italian coin 40 Understated 43 Buffalo’s lake 44 St. Teresa’s town 46 Police incursion at Stonewall 47 Brian of figure skating 48 Horror maven Craven 49 Where some major arteries go 52 Split one in the locker room 53 “You bet!”

54 Trivia 56 Breakfast at Tiffany’s heroine 62 West Side Story girl 63 Fateful day

He says that he was a girly little boy, soft and feminine, and he was attracted to other boys at an early age. He believes that those who raised him must have known about those feelings, but nothing was ever said.

Bean was loved, and that’s what he knew.

The shining point of his life was his godmother’s mother, the woman Bean called Nana. She cared for him, took him to church, and made him happy, but when he was just three years old, Nana died and life changed drastically. He was taken in by his godparents, who loved him but didn’t seem to like him. Shortly after that, Bean was sexually assaulted by an “uncle”.

Though various abuses continued well into his teens, and though Bean had fully acknowledged his gayness, he maintains that he was cherished and accepted— especially by the unaware wives of his abusers.

Fortunately, he found solace in God and in song.

Q-PUZZLE: “Tru Character”

64 Use a rubber 66 Atlas enlargement 67 “Is so!” rebuttal 68 Pyle of Jim Nabors 69 Be nuts over 70 Untouchable head 71 Type of queen

Down 1 Existential woe 2 Edna and Arnold, to Harvey 3 Cole Porter classic 4 Starting scale notes, for Maria 5 RR terminal 6 Like the hard way 7 Put down

Bean sang in good times and bad, for audiences of none or many. Because he knew that God is love, most of his favorites were gospel songs that Bean sang in the church choir. He was encouraged and tutored, and when he was old enough, he moved to New York City to pursue a gospel music career, quickly making a name for himself on the gospel circuit. He followed that with a disco career and a top-selling record.

But at different points in his life, Carl Bean was homeless, which showed him what God truly wanted him to do. After his musical career ended, he started a church and opened his arms to the LGBTQ community. He began an AIDS outreach program through his ministry. He “became unconditional love.”

Though it sometimes drags a little— particularly in the mid-section—“I Was Born This Way” is a wonderful biography that’s curiously soothing to read.

Author Carl Bean is brutally honest in telling his story, which is both sweetly idyllic and frighteningly horrifying. Still, despite the nastiness he endured, he manages to convey a sense of calm and comfort, and a peaceful demeanor. That makes this, oddly, more like a hug than a book.

Readers looking for Heavenly succor will find it in Bean’s reassuring teachings, while others will be merely treated to a unique memoir. If you’re up for something good, “I Was Born This Way” is worth laying eyes on.

8 Whale finder 9 ___ operandi 10 U-turn from NNW 11 Peters out 12 Principal presentation for Stephen Pyles 13 One who screws around 14 Like bell-bottom jeans 19 As a whole 20 Accumulated, as debts 26 Producer Meron 27 Heed a master 30 Milk-colored gem 32 Good buddy 33 Leave marks on the back 34 Center of activity 35 Edvard Grieg, for one 36 Pleasure seekers 37 Love, to Amelie Mauresmo 38 Uncool sort 41 Like a pale face 42 Hobby-shop purchase 45 Slobber all over, so to speak 47 Like busy folks 50 Direct ending 51 Drag queen’s accessory 53 More cunning than a cunning linguist?

55 Leather band 56 Backup date?

57 Estimate ending 58 Garfield’s pal 59 Part of Mapplethorpe’s equipment 60 Liberace fabric 61 River of the Singing Nun’s country 62 Jenny portrayer on The L Word 65 The Gay ‘90s, for one • SOLUTION ON PAGE 28

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PHOTOGRAPHER

QUAD CITIES: MASSAGE

IOWA CITY: INSURANCE

CEDAR RAPIDS: WINE & GIFTS

FREELANCE WRITER

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OUTFIELD

EVENTS

ing farm animals.)

“It’s gotten to the point where being Christian almost means being anti-gay,” Krattenmaker continues. “That’s not compassionate or smart. And it is harmful to both Christians and gays.”

Sports and religion are two of America’s most traditionally conservative institutions.

However, Krattenmaker says, “Lately the religious right has begun shifting its focus nationwide away from social issues, to causes like environmentalism and AIDS.” Yet religious sports figures remain behind the curve.

“The form of Christianity we see in sports is very skewed,” says Krattenmaker.

“It’s an incomplete Christianity. When fully expressed, Christianity is across the board.

It’s not confined to one form of the political spectrum.”

Still, Krattenmaker warns, one should not paint the entire religious-right-in-sports movement with one brush.

Athletes in Action, he says, has recently become “leery” of being viewed as anti-gay.

“They know the culture is changing. They realize that if the Christian right focuses too much on that issue, they’ll be left in the dust. That’s encouraging.”

And Krattenmaker is quick to trot out a Christian right hero: Reggie White.

The 12-time All-Pro earned the nickname “The Minister of Defense” as much for his work as an evangelic minister as for his hard-hitting play on the defensive line.

He appeared in newspaper ads urging gays and lesbians to “cease” their homosexuality, and called being gay a sin.

But, Krattenmaker says, “few people understand the enormity of what happened after his career.” White said he was “prostituted” by religious people. Yet because of the “enormity of his heroism in the Christian/ sports pantheon,” Krattenmaker says, there has been little acknowledgment of that renunciation of some previous statements.

White died in 2004 of cardiac arrhythmia, age 43.

“I’m encouraged,” Krattenmaker concludes. “Change is inexorable. It’s happening at a deep level. American culture is changing in a positive way. And sports will be dragged along.”

Dan Woog is a journalist, educator, soccer coach, gay activist, and author of the “Jocks” series of books on gay male athletes.

Visit his website at www.danwoog.com. He can be reached care of this publication or at OutField@qsyndicate.com.

1st Wednesday of the Month, WOMEN’S SACRED CIRCLE, 6:30-8pm, Prairiewoods Franciscan Spirituality Center, 120 E. Boyson Rd, Hiawatha, IA 52233. This group is for women who are interested in gathering for spiritual growth. The direction and activities of the group are determined by participants. $5 per session.

For more info, visit www.prairiewoods.org. [ LW] 1st Wednesday of the Month, CONNECTIONS’ RAINBOW READING GROUP, 7pm, Iowa City Public Library Meeting Room B, 123 South Linn Street, Iowa City, IA 52240. For more info, contact Todd at: faunides@yahoo.com. [ L GBTMWA] 2nd Wednesday of the Month, STONEWALL DEMOCRATS, THE GLBT CAUCUS OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY, 6:30-8pm, Hamburger Mary’s CR, 222 Glenbrook Dr. SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52403. For more info, contact Harvey Ross at linnstonewall@gmail.com or call 319-389-0093.

[LGBTMWA] 2nd Wednesday of the Month, WOMEN FOR PEACE KNITTERS, 7-9pm, Hiawatha, IA . at Prairiewoods, 120 E. Boyson Rd., Hiawatha. Knitting, crocheting, and discussion. For more info, call 319-377-3252 or go to www. womenforpeace-iowa.org. All ages and levels of needlework skills welcome. Come knit for charities. [ L W ] Every Wednesday, HOT MESS EXPRESS, 9:30pm, Des Moines Social Club, 1408 Locust St., Des Moines, IA . The hottest most messiest citizens of Des Moines providing a comedic look at the hottest most messiest current events around the world. Featuring: Paul Selberg, Rachel C. Johnson, Kelley Robinson & Tyler Reedy [LGBTA] Every Wednesday, TRANSFORMATIONS IOWA, 7-9pm, The Center, 1300 Locust, Des Moines, IA 50309. TransformationsIowa is a Transgender support group. It is open to all ranges of the gender spectrum, male to female, female to male, cross dressers, drag queens, gender queer, questioning, as well as friends, significant others and allies. [ T D ] Every Wednesday, U OF I GAY LESBIAN BISEXUAL TRANSGENDER AND ALLIES UNION MEETINGS, 7-9pm, Iowa City, IA . at the Penn State Room #337 of the Iowa Memorial Union, U. of Iowa campus, Iowa City. For more info, visit http://www.uiowa.edu/~glbtau/ or e-mail glbtau@uiowa.edu. These meetings are open to the public. [ L G B T M W A ] Second Wednesday, OUT NETWORKING, 5:30, Des Moines Social Club, 1408 Locust St, Des Moines, IA 50309. A social, business, and philanthropic networking organization for anyone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, questioning or supportive. The group presents year-round events focused on business, culture, community, and philanthropic subjects. [ L G BTA]

Everybody’s journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.

— American novelist James Arthur Baldwin (1924– 1987)

Thursday

1st 3rd Thursday, EVENINGS FOR SPIRIT, 6:30-8:30pm, West Branch, IA . at SpiritHill Retreat, 604 Cedar Valley Road, West Branch. First, third, and fifth Thursdays of each month. Women gather at SpiritHill (or other locations) to share our spiritual experiences, visions and longings.

The evenings include time for sharing and time for silence. Laughter, tears and singing are often shared as well. No specific spiritual practice is followed. This event is always open to newcomers. For more info, call 319-643-2613, or e-mail spirit-hill@earthlink.net. Calling in advance is highly recommended to confirm the location for the specific month of interest. [ L W ] 2nd Thursday of the Month, OPEN MIC WITH MARY MCADAMS, 7-9pm, Des Moines, IA. at Ritual Café, on 13th St. between Locust and Grand, downtown Des Moines. Visit www. ritualcafe.com. For more info, e-mail mary@ marymcadams.com. [ L G B T M W A ] 2nd Thursday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG OMAHA/COUNCIL BLUFFS CHAPTER MEETING, 7pm (6:30pm social time), Omaha, IA . at Mead Hall, First United Methodist Church, 7020 Cass St., Omaha. For more info, call 402-2916781. [ L G B T M W A K ]

3rd Thursday of the Month, OPEN MIC HOSTED BY KIMBERLI, 7-10pm, Cedar Rapids, IA . at the Blue Strawberry Coffee Company (now open after the flood), 118 2nd St. SE, Downtown Cedar Rapids. Signup at 6:30pm or by e-mailing flyingmonkeyscr@aol.com the week prior to the open mic. [ L G B T M W A ] 3rd Thursday of the Month, LGBTQI YOUTH MOVIE NIGHT AT THE CENTER, 6:30-10pm, The CENTER, 1300 Locust, Des Moines, IA . This is part of the LGBTQI youth program, anyone 24 years old and younger is welcome. Come down spend the evening with your friends and make some new ones. 515-243-0313 [ L G B T + ] 3rd Thursday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG DUBUQUE/TRI-STATE CHAPTER MEETING, 7pm, Dubuque, IA . at St. John’s Lutheran Church, 1276 White St., Dubuque. For more info, call 563-582-9388. [ L G B T M W A K ] 3rd Thursday of the Month, CONNECTIONS GAME NIGHT, 7-9pm, Iowa City, IA . at Donnelly’s Pub, 110 E. College St., in downtown Iowa City.

[LGBTMWA] 4th Thursday of the Month, PROFESSIONAL WOMEN’S NETWORK (PWN), For more info, visit www.pwn.org, e-mail pwn@pwn.org, or call Shelley Woods at 319-981-9887. [ L W ] 4th Thursday of the Month, THE GLBT READING GROUP, 7:30pm, Cedar Rapids, IA . Red Cross Building at 6300 Rockwell Dr. NE, Cedar Rapids. The group is open to new members; contact crglbtreadinggroup@yahoo.com for further info. [ L G B T M W A ] 4th Thursday of the Month, except months like November, PFLAG CR, Linn Co and Beyond, Meets at People’s Church (in Cherry Room) 6:30 p.m., 600 3rd ST, Cedar Rapids Iowa 52401,Contact Person: Diane Peterson, Phone: 319-362-9827(Email ddpeters57@gmail.com for alternate dates.)

Every Thursday and Friday, SHANNON JANSSEN, 6-10pm, Cedar Rapids, IA . Dawn’s Hide and Bead Away, 220 E. Washington St., Iowa City.

Shannon performs a variety of music including original songs on the Grand Piano in the hotel’s beautiful atrium. No reservations required. [ L GBTMWA] Last Thursday of the Month, DRAG KING SHOW, 9pm-2am, Studio 13, 13 S. Linn St, Iowa City, IA 52240. The show starts EARLY at 9pm, so all you fans under 21 (meaning 19 & 20) can come for a jam packed hour of show! Your kings will also have another photo signing with awesome king swag! Plus, a SECOND mini show after the signing!!! $3 Bomb shots, $2 Calls and Domestics, and $1 Wells and shots! Cover is only $3! [ L G B T D ]

Friday

1st Friday of the Month, FAIRFIELD ART WALK, Fairfield, IA. For more info, visit www.

FairfieldArtWalk.com. [ L G B T M W A ] 1st Friday of the Month, GUERRILLA QUEER BAR MEETUP!, Tired of the same old bars? Crave the idea of bringing your queer and straight friends together in a fun, new environment?

We’re descending upon an unsuspecting straight bar and turning it into a gay bar for the night. To join in: join our Facebook group, Google group or Twitter feed. You’ll receive an email the morning of each event with the name of a classically hetero bar and the meeting time. Call your friends, have them call their friends, show up at the bar and watch as it becomes the new “it” gay bar for one night only. Visit http://groups.google. com/group/iowa-city-guerrilla-queer-bar. [ L GBTMWA] 1st Friday of the Month, FIRST FRIDAY BREAKFAST CLUB, Sherman Place, 1501 Woodland Avenue, Des Moines, IA 95030. The First Friday Breakfast Club (FFBC) is an educational, non-profit corporation for gay men who gather on the first Friday of every month to provide mutual support, to be educated on community affairs, and to further educate community opinion leaders with more positive images of gay men. It is the largest breakfast club in the state of Iowa. Hoyt Sherman Place, 1501 Woodland Avenue, Des Moines, IA 95030. Contact Jonathan Wilson at (515) 288-2500 or email: info@ ffbciowa.org [ G B ] 1st Friday of the Month, DAWN’S COFFEE HOUSE, 5-8pm, Iowa City, IA . Dawn’s Hide and Bead Away, 220 E. Washington St., Iowa City.

First Friday of every month between February 6 and December 4. Music and light snacks

NOVEMBER 2010 are provided. Proceeds from the door are split between the non-profit of the month and the store (to cover the cost of snacks). Any other donations received go 100% to the non-profit. $3 cover. For more info, phone 319-338-1566. [ LGBTMWA] 2nd and 4th Friday, DRUMMING CIRCLE, 7pm, Cedar Rapids, IA . Unity Center of Cedar Rapids, 3791 Blairs Ferry Rd. NE, Cedar Rapids.

Every 2nd and 4th Friday of the each month. For more info, call 319-431-7550. [ G M ] 3rd Friday of the Month, OLD-TIME DANCE FOR ALL, 8pm, Iowa City, IA . A Barn Dance 12 miles east of Iowa City at Scattergood Friends School. A Barn Dance 12 miles east of Iowa City at Scattergood Friends School. Admission is $5.00 per person. Singles and couples, beginners and veterans welcome. The music is live, and all dances are taught and called (that is, prompted while the music is playing). Note: (1) same-sex couples are common at these dances, (2) they’re no-alcohol, no-smoking events, (3) every dance is taught, so beginners are welcome, and (4) people can attend alone or with a partner. People of a variety of ages show up, and the atmosphere is friendly and inclusive. For more info, phone 319-643-7600 or e-mail treadway@netins.net.

[LGBTMWA]

Saturday

4th Saturday of the Month, LESBIAN BOOK CLUB, 7pm, Davenport, IA . is reading books by or about lesbians. Non-lesbians are welcome to attend. All meetings are held at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 3707 Eastern Ave., Davenport.

For more info, call 563-359-0816. [ L ] 4th Saturday of the Month, TANGOVIA, 7:30pm, Iowa City, IA . join area tango dancers at the Wesley Center, 120 N. Dubuque St., Iowa City. Enjoy a candlelit evening of dance, hors d’oeuvres, and conversation in a relaxed atmosphere. Cost is $5. Partner not necessary. Beginners welcome to come at 7pm for an introductory lesson. For more info, call Gail at 319-325-9630, e-mail irelandg@gmail.com, or visit www.tangovia.com. [ L G B T M W A D ] Every Saturday, WOMEN FOR PEACE IOWA, Noon to 1PM, Collins Rd NE & 1st Ave SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402. hosting Weekly Street Corner Vigils for peace, rain or shine. Meet at the corner of 1st Ave. and Collins Rd. SE (in front of Granite City Brewery), Cedar Rapids. Show your support for our troops by calling for their return from Iraq. For more info, e-mail khall479@aol.com. [ LGBTMWAKD] Every Saturday, BAILE LATINO: SALSA, CHA-CHA, MERENGUE AND BACHATA LESSONS, 3:30-5:30pm, Cedar Rapids, IA . taught

by Gloria Zmolek, at CSPS, 1103 3rd St. SE, Cedar Rapids. No experience or partner necessary.

All ages welcome. No sign-up required. $5 per person requested. For more info, contact Gloria at 319-365-9611 or visit www.crsalsa.org. [ L G BTMWAKD]

“The difference between my position right now and Harry Truman’s was that Congress explicitly passed a law that took away the power of the executive branch to end this policy unilaterally. So this is not a situation in which with a stroke of a pen I can simply end the policy.”

— President Obama during a “town hall” style meeting on October 14, 2010, regarding his not signing an executive order to stop Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

ACCESSline Page 29 Section 3: Community An Invitation for Partnership First Friday Breakfast Club:

NOVEMBER 2010

by Beau Fodor, Board Co-Chair, The CENTER

Kathie Obradovich

The National LGBTQ CENTER AWARENESS DAY this past September, and “National Coming Out Day” this October brought much needed visibility and credibility to the LGBTQ Center in Des Moines, Iowa. The news stories, feedback, phone calls and drop-in visitors made October 2010 the busiest month at the CENTER to date.

Thanks to CENTERLINK, (LGBTcenters.org) the National organization for LGBTQ Centers world-wide, founded in Washington, DC in 1994, the Center and

Our speaker on the First of October was Kathie Obradovich, the Register’s political editor, who treated us to a fairly bleak forecast of the mid-term elections a month away. (“I’m assuming you’re all Democrats?” she asked—”Does anyone who isn’t want to raise his hand?”)

Basing her remarks in part on the Register’s Iowa Poll, of which she was editor before becoming a columnist, she noted that below the top three races, the contests all still look competitive. But she didn’t see how Governor Culver could overcome former Governor Branstad’s apparent lead: even the voters’ muchreported anti-incumbent sentiment hasn’t much relevance in this case because “what we’ve got here, in effect, is two incumbents.” Nor does anti-incumbency do a lot for Roxanne Conlin against Senator “Chuck” Grassley, because Iowa voters are basically so conservative [as it relates to change]—“comfort is important to Iowans,” she said—that if it ain’t hugely broke, they ain’t inclined to fix it. Iowans appreciate that both of their senators have very significant seniority in Washington, and Roxanne has not been able to make headway against the economic and political benefits of that reality. At least the House race between Third District incumbent Leonard Boswell and former Urbandale mayor Brad Zaun may be closer to a toss-up.

Asked about the next presidential

Boards training I received earlier this fall in Portland, was immediately put to good use in Des Moines.

We re-evaluated the needs and services the CENTER provides, re-forming a new Board of Directors (and bringing in more diverse and “pioneering” Board members), working with the David Bohnett Foundation for a new computer and media center, redecorating and refurbishing eight offices and community spaces, doubling grant applications, and TTCENTER continued page 30

Sweet Equality celebration

Nov. 12, 5:30-8pm, Des Moines Local celebrities and professional bakers from around the state will satisfy your sweet tooth at One Iowa’s third annual Sweet Equality—a celebration of marriage equality with delectable desserts. On November 12 from 5:30-8pm at Forte (615 3rd Street) in Des Moines, professional chefs, local celebrities and businesses will come together to show off their skills in the name of equality.

The annual dessert competition features professional chefs and local celebrities facing off for the coveted “Sweetest Thing” and “Best Presentation” awards.

Awards are given in both the professional and celebrity baking categories. Winners in the professional category are decided by public vote, and a panel of local media personalities will judge the celebrity category.

The event also features a cash bar, music and more! Tickets for Sweet Equality are $35 and can be purchased by emailing Amanda@oneiowa.org or calling

Amanda at 515-288-4019 ext. 214.

This competition was created to raise awareness of businesses and individuals who support equality in Iowa. With the April 2009 Iowa Supreme Court decision in favor of the freedom to marry, Iowa is starting to see the economic advantages of equality. A recent Williams Institute study estimated $160 million in new spending on weddings and tourism in the state over the next three years.

All proceeds from this event will go to One Iowa Education Fund, a 501(c) (3) organization. All donations to Sweet Equality are tax deductible.

Cedar Rapids Unity Cedar Rapids Unity Board Elections Nov 16th

The election of Board Members for Cedar Rapid Unity will be held in the Sendak Room at the Cedar Rapids Public Library, Westdale Mall. The meeting will begin at 7pm, Tuesday, November 16.

Nominations will be made from the floor.

All persons present will be able to vote. If you have any interest in being part of the Cedar Rapids Unity Board or wish to have input into those elected to the Board, this is the place to be.

Cedar Rapids Unity Community Thanksgiving, Nov 20th Join your other “family” to celebrate a Community Thanksgiving on Saturday, November 20th. CRU will be providing the turkey, plates and silverware. Please bring a dish to share. This will be held at 1pm at Christ Episcopal Church at 220 40th St NE in Cedar Rapids.

Kathie Obradovich. Photo: Arthur Breur election, Obradovich cited the extraordinary importance of “retail politics” in Iowa, i.e., face time. Iowans expect to see and talk in person with their candidates.

As an aside, she noted how much she loves her job right here in Des Moines: “Where else,” she asked, “could I get up in the morning, head out my front door and walk two blocks to my neighbors’ back yard in Beaverdale—and meet and question President Obama himself?”

About Kathie Obradovich

Kathie Obradovich is The Des Moines Register’s political editor, a post she assumed in June 2009, succeeding David Yepson—a previous FFBC speaker. “Kathie earned this role by covering politics and government in Iowa for 20 years,” remarked Register VP and Editor Carolyn Washburn (yet another FFBC speaker), TTFFBC continued page 32

ACCESSline Page 30

Section 3: Community

Minor Details: Why Obama Became the Religious Right-Wing’s Devil by Bob Minor Back in November 2008 we saw the perfect storm for the religiously addicted I described in When Religion Is an Addiction. Their “Christian” president who was dealing their high of being right was ending his eight-year term.

He hadn’t dealt the ultimate fix they’d needed. The economic and military conservatives who took advantage of these needy religious conservatives had no interest in doing any more than using them to further their corporate take-over of America.

Yet, the 20% of Americans who make up the addicted could not dump their dealer. Even at the lowest in Bush’s approval, that number always kept believing, no matter what he really dealt them.

The 2008 elections were their hope for a stronger fix. Then the Republicans nominated John McCain – far from the religious right-wing’s champion.

In January 2007, fundamentalist kingpin James Dobson said: “Speaking as a private individual, I would not vote for John McCain under any circumstances.”

“I am convinced Sen. McCain is not a conservative and, in fact, has gone out of his way to stick his thumb in the eyes of those who are,” Dobson emphasized in a statement read on Laura Ingraham’s nationally syndicated radio show a year later. “He has at times sounded more like a member of the other party.”

But their new savior arrived when McCain tapped Alaska governor, rightwing fundamentalist, Sarah Palin as his running mate. She was the one who would “energize the base,” that is, bring back their high. Thus, she would begin to threaten him.

No matter how ill-informed, no matter how wacky, they had to believe in her, just as they had in Bush. She was a “Christian” whom they could not believe would do them wrong.

Her election would be the living, emotional proof they were desperate for that there was a God who would vindicate them. She turned out the addicted in the way that McCain could never do.

What was riding on the 2008 presidential elections for them was so much more than the rest of us could imagine.

It wasn’t just any election or a Republican win but the vindication of their own righteousness, of the truth of the cause they bet their lives on.

Believing fully by now that it was tied to government and political successes, rallies, political action, and election night victories were necessary to overcome their feelings of failure. Since Bush’s election, it was no longer sufficient for them to believe in the Divine – government had to ratify their righteousness.

The right-wing’s campaign against Barack Obama painted his election in apocalyptic terms. Though those outside the mindset couldn’t believe the rhetoric, for those inside, none of it was an exaggeration.

Those Republican operatives who knew better, needed the religiously addicted right-wing and so fanned the

flames of the hell-fire predicted to come with a Democratic victory. The addicted had to be stoked to overcome possible letdown feelings of the Bush years.

Then the worst happened. Democratic control of the Congress and a President who, no matter who he was or what he did, was not them, succeeded before they could be raptured away from the tribulation. This triggered all the unhealed issues and fears they were trying to deny, from racism to sectarian religionism.

To the observer, it all looked crazy.

And it was – the crazy reaction of the addict whose stash was threatened.

Liberals, including the new administration, felt that they could be addressed rationally, and that concrete proposals that would help the very people so reacting would provide evidence that would bring enlightenment to the addicted. It was an enabler’s fantasy.

Denial was rife. If we just reason, understand, be nice, accommodate, and compromise with the addicts, they’ll give up their search for a high and become clean and sober participants in our efforts.

The Republican Party knew how to take advantage of such liberal beliefs.

Make Democrats compromise with us so that their accomplishments are watered down. Then don’t vote for the results so that the weakest bills won’t succeed publicly.

They also knew that the religious right-wing addicts saw the issues in black and white terms and so were loathe to stop them from doing so. Obama was other, and that meant evil.

Obama became the black face of all that was evil. Reid and Pelosi were there too, but the demonic had manifested itself in Obama’s stimulus and “Obamacare.”

To the outsiders and enablers it got even crazier. To the corporate interests encouraging the “Tea Party” mobs, religious right-wingers and other authoritative personalities were useful to put Obama’s face on evil.

Addictions are progressive, remember. So, the old means of feeling righteous don’t work the way they did before.

So, it was necessary in order to keep the addiction in place to portray the President as the personification of everything evil. He had to be the devil, Hitler, a stereotype witch doctor, a Communist, a Socialist, a Fascist. Whatever was evil, his face was on it.

And the righteously indignant sought dealers from all over to run as Republicans. The old Republican leadership thought they could control it. But they, too, were not recognizing the depth of the addiction and were drug along to survive.

And here we are. Enablers still want to compromise with the addicts. They don’t want to do what it takes to intervene.

And the addicts get all the attention.

They run the show while the clean and sober react.

But dealing with addicts is different than dealing with those who respond to

Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org. rationality, compromise, and good will efforts.

It doesn’t mean being mean. It means taking a stand as a healthy, non-enabling human being.

There are compassionate ways to confront an addict and to prevent the addiction from damaging the rest of us further. That assumes we won’t remain in denial.

And there’s no space to discuss strategy here except to note that the last chapter of When Religion Is an Addiction, entitled “Toward an Intervention” is still relevant.

NOVEMBER 2010 SScontinued from page 29

CENTER re-focusing on Youth and Senior on-site programming. We are also home to many LGBTQ groups, for their monthly meetings, such as the Iowa Corn Haulers, Transformations, P-PLAG, PITCH, Sunday Night Youth Group and The Dykes of the Round Table!

We are now in the process of forming an “Advisory Board” (re: Community Committee) asking YOU to put in your “two-cents” worth, or be a part of this new group, to help us be the best and most supportive to OUR community, locally and even state-wide, via “satellite centers” coming soon in Iowa City, Mason City, and Dubuque, and, most importantly, to help keep us from making the same mistakes of the past.

In moving forward, we need to respect the past, but look to the future, bringing in new energies. And make the changes necessary to be the best we can be in Iowa.

Thankfully, those previous issues and individuals that were the problems have been resolved and removed, and just as our Governor, Chet Culver, personally told me Sunday night about my work with the LGBTQ CENTER, that “WE MUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD”, and “show how progressive and inclusive Iowa can be.”

(He also mentioned the “Nay-Sayers” and bitter old “resentments”, that, if we still continue to listen to, will keep us in the dark ages....)

Here at the new LGBTQ CENTER, we hope our mission, values and impact resonate with you. We are at the beginning of a fabulous new and long journey, and need your support.

So, if you have ANY ideas, thoughts, questions or input, AND would like to be part of one of the BEST LGBTQ CENTERS in our great nation, please visit our website at www.equalityiowa.org or e-mail us at thecenterdm@gmail.com!

This is YOUR LGBTQ CENTER. Be a part of it!

“…YOU have to be strong and pay attention to the positive and in doing so you will push through and you’ll rise up and you will live your life to the fullest. It gets better but its up to you.“ — Adam Lambert in his video for the “It Gets Better Project” on YouTube

NOVEMBER 2010

Section 3: Community

ACCESSline Page 31

Inside Out: Getting to Ellen by Ellen Krug Many years ago, when I was still a boy and married, my two young daughters and I sometimes spent sunny Sunday afternoons lying on our backs on the deck behind our beautiful house, gazing upward, heads resting on faded wood. In the sky top openings between the oak and hickory trees, puffy white clouds would float by, slowly changing shape in the time it took for them to cross the horizon.

Our mission was to find the things— animals, buildings, people—that the clouds resembled.

“I can see a dragon with steam coming out its back, Daddy,” my youngest daughter once said. Not to be outdone, the oldest shouted, “There’s a cloud that looks like Marshmallow,” the name of her beloved stuffed bear.

More clouds came by accompanied by more shouts of images from our collective imaginations.

We would giggle and feel good. A father with his daughters, at peace, and for a while, none of us needing anything more.

Those days were idyllic. I truly wished I could bottle them, capture the moments forever in a glass jar, only to open the jar later, when I needed strength, a vivid reminder of why I had to stay a boy. They were the days that kept me married, the moments that I lived for, the times that I held close to my heart when the nagging voice in my head told me that I needed to leave, that I needed my own life to be me, a woman.

As all of us know, it is not easy being torn, when you are pulled one way by those you love and pulled in a completely opposite way by yourself, whom you need to love.

In the end, as I’ve written here before, the voice, my voice, won out. I left my wonderful wife and two daughters because one has to live as who they are, regardless of all the pain and hurt that may bring. Still, I so miss my three girls

and the home that we had made.

Recently, I found myself again lying on my back staring at clouds overhead.

This time, it was in a surgical bay of a small modern hospital in Scottsdale, Arizona. Smartly, someone had decided to paint blue sky and fluffy white clouds on ceiling tile in the surgical waiting area.

I was at that hospital for my sex reassignment surgery. Yes, the big surgery, the one that every transgendered person hopes to have.

As I lay on a gurney waiting for the anesthesiologist and my surgeon to arrive, those clouds were overhead. For a few moments, seeing the clouds took me back to the summer days with my girls, and all my fears and doubts about the surgery disappeared. I found myself smiling, looking for images in the clouds, thinking of my daughters.

My surgeon is a guy named Toby Meltzer. He is about my age, a short man with a wonderful smile. He is reserved and his demeanor is one of kindness and caring. He arrived at the hospital by bicycle, and he had warned me that he would look a bit disheveled. He was right.

With beads of sweat on his forehead and matted hair, he asked how I was doing.

I told him I was fine, that I was ready, that it was time to get on with the next stage in my life. He smiled, patted my side and started to walk away. I yelled to him, “See you on the other side.” He turned and smiled again, and I sensed that no one had ever quite said that to him before.

The anesthesiologist, a guy in his early sixties named “Dr. Best,” (I am not making this up) soon appeared. He too had bicycled in from his house. I related that my most recent anesthesia (where I had awoken only to tell the surgeon “F--- you”) was not as pleasant as I had hoped. Dr. Best assured me all would be well. He was, after all, the best.

And then I waited, laying there in

As I lay on a gurney waiting for the anesthesiologist and my surgeon to arrive, those clouds were overhead.

For a few moments, seeing the clouds took me back to the summer days with my girls, and all my fears and doubts about the surgery disappeared. I found myself smiling, looking for images in the clouds, thinking of my daughters.

the surgical bay listening to the hustle and bustle of nurses and doctors as they prepared people for their respective surgeries. Going back to those summer days of cloud watching with my daughters, I would never have guessed that someday I’d be lying at a hospital waiting to have surgery to change me from boy to girl.

That was too big a thought, too radical, too much to envision. I could never be that brave, I had believed.

What a journey it has been, I thought, laying there in Scottsdale.

After what seemed like a lifetime waiting on that gurney (and maybe that’s exactly what it was), a nurse wheeled me into the operating room. Seven hours later, true to his word, Dr. Best awoke me as if I was finishing a good sound sleep—without grogginess or nausea and without obscenities shouted on my part.

As I awoke, I experienced a sense of euphoria, a feeling from left field, something other than the pangs of regret that I thought might be present. No, this was a total sense of completeness, something that I had never experienced before. “Wow,” I said to myself. I had finally gotten to the place I needed to call home: to Ellen.

Soon, Dr. Meltzer came by and I grabbed his hand with both of mine.

“Thank you for making me complete,” I said, crying. He smiled that cute smile and humbly told me I was welcome.

I looked back up at the ceiling, to the

clouds. I heard my daughters’ voices in my head, exclaiming, “Look Daddy, look!”

I then glanced down at the carefully placed ice packs and said to myself, “Look Ellen, look! You have made it.”

In an instant, I was thankful for all that had happened in my past life and entirely hopeful about what would come in my new one.

Ellen Krug is a writer, lawyer, human.

She was a trial attorney for 28 years before realizing there is more to life. She is now on sabbatical to write a book, and if that does not work out, to wait tables. She is parent to two adult children and hoping for the best, despite the odds. She can be reached at EllenKrug75@gmail.com.

ACCESSline Page 32

Section 3: Community

Queeries LGBT Etiquette by Steven Petrow “We want to help other kids fight bullying”

Q: It’s been so upsetting to the queer kids at my middle school to hear about all the teen suicides lately and the awful bullying going on. One guy I know got punched in the face recently and his Facebook page was smeared with homophobic comments like “faggot.” What can we do to help our friends?

A: That’s really admirable that you want to reach out to other kids in trouble.

This recent series of high-publicity gay teen suicides has lots of people asking that same question: “What can we do?” And while the answers at first feel overwhelming, my advice in this situation is quite clear: It’s everyone’s responsibility to help fight public and private expressions of homophobia and transphobia, especially when violence is involved or could be anticipated.

The truth is that you and your friends may already be doing the two most important things: Being yourselves and supporting each other. But there’s always more.

In the case of your friend at the other school, you could certainly help him if you suggested that he talk to his parents or school officials about reporting that assault—yes, he was assaulted.

I know that can be hard to do, but you can’t stop bullying unless he (or she) is called on it.

That Facebook mess is an example of how “direct” confrontation has its place: Without saying anything threatening or targeting individuals by name, go ahead and post some supportive messages on the guy’s page. Make sure that lots of your other friends do that too. You can also report the individuals making the hateful comments to Facebook, who will cancel their accounts.

paramour on the premises?

If you step back from the situation a little, however, you’ll realize that the best thing that could happen would be for Barry to let you know that he’s going to fess up to his partner—so that 1) you don’t have to, and 2) you won’t have to have a guilty conscience about saying nothing to your friend. With any luck, Barry will reach out to you with this plan. But, if he doesn’t, call him and let him know “what a good idea” you’d think it would be for him to “do the right thing.” Obviously, the implied threat is that if he doesn’t speak up, you will, but I wouldn’t actually say that.

Still, Barry may call your bluff by not saying anything.

Then, I’d fold and sit it out on the sidelines because you’re really in a no-win situation. If you turn Barry in, there’s the slight possibility that your understanding of their monogamous status was wrong in the first place—or that sharing this information wasn’t what your friend would have wanted. Perhaps, ignorance may be bliss for him.

Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that couples often do “kill the messenger” in a charged situation like this. If these two fellows get through this rough patch and back to trusting each other, there’s a real possibility they will both view you as interfering or as a troublemaker. If in the end, if your friend does find out that you knew about his philandering partner and didn’t say anything, tell him the truth: That was Barry’s responsibility.

Yikes! What’s up with Stan that he invited you over while he still has a paramour on the premises?

“My best friend’s lover is fooling around”

Q: The other day my friend, Stan, invited me over for drinks. When I got to his apartment, Barry, who is partnered with my best friend, had just come out of the bedroom wearing a towel. It was really awkward and Stan was shocked that I know Barry and his partner.

Barry and my best friend have been together for years and their relationship is supposed to be monogamous: Do I tell my friend, yell at Barry—or just keep my mouth shut?

A: Yikes! What’s up with Stan that he invited you over while he still has a

“Dad just told us he’s gay”

Q: On National Coming Out Day, my father recently told the family that he’s gay. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say back to him. What would you have suggested?

A: In a dream world, you’d be genuinely happy for your father and shout “Mazel tov” or “Congratulations” and give him a big hug. And it would be but one supportive voice among many, with warm wishes from friends, colleagues and other relatives alike. But if that’s not in your heart right now, at the very least I’d suggest you thank your dad for being open and honest with you and tell him that your love for him has not changed.

Most LGBT people—yes, even our fathers and mothers—fear rejection more than anything else when they’re coming out.

By the way, it’s not too late to take my advice and speak with your dad.

Steven Petrow (gaymanners.com) is the author of “The Essential Book of Gay Manners & Etiquette” and a regular contributor to Huffington Post and GayWeddings.com. Send him your questions: ask@gaymanners.com

“This policy will end, and it will end on my watch. But I do have an obligation to make sure that I am following some of the rules. I can’t simply ignore laws that are out there. I’ve got to work to make sure that they are changed.”

— President Obama during a “town hall” style meeting on October 14, 2010, regarding his not signing an executive order to stop Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

SScontinued from page 29

FFBC upon Obradovich’s appointment. “Born and raised in Iowa and with those years of perspective, she is uniquely suited to carry on the responsibility of the four Des Moines Register political columnists who preceded her.”

Obradovich first joined the Register in 2003 as its political editor, directing coverage of Iowa’s first-in-the-nation presidential caucuses, the Iowa Statehouse and Congress. She collaborated with online staff in planning and executing online political coverage, oversaw the reporters who provide content and coordinated their efforts with those of photo, video and data staff. She has been the lead editor of the award-winning Iowa Poll, developing questionnaires and coordinating reporting of the results. Before coming

NOVEMBER 2010 to the Register in 2003, Obradovich was Des Moines Statehouse bureau chief for Lee Enterprises’ five daily newspapers, including the Quad-City Times in Davenport. She worked at the Quad City Times from 1987 to 1993, where her jobs ranged from night cops reporter and various city, county and court beats, to assistant city editor and regional editor.

Obradovich’s honors include Iowa Associated Press Managing Editors first-place for online special project for Iowa caucus coverage, Des Moines Register employee of the year, and Gannett Newspaper Newsroom Supervisor Award. She grew up in Ames and is a graduate of Iowa State University with a bachelor’s degree in journalism/mass communication. You can contact Kathie Obradovich at kobradov@dmreg,com, (515) 284-8126, and follow her on Twitter @kobradovich.

“President Obama, as long as the actions of your administration continue to tell LGBT people that they are less than equal citizens, that they do not deserve to marry the person that they love, that they do not deserve to serve openly in the U.S. military, that they can still be fired from jobs because of who they are, how can you promise these kids that ‘it gets better?’ Thank you for recording this message. Please follow up your words with actions. Set the example you say is so important.”

— Andy Towle on his blog, TowleRoad.com, in response to President Obama’s October 20 “It Gets Better” video.

NOVEMBER 2010

Section 3: Community

UI TransWeek 2010:

Imagining Inclusive Authenticity November 14-17, 2010

Iowa Memorial Union, Black Box Theater The University of Iowa’s student and Workshop by S. Bear Bergman: “A community group TransCollaborations and Re-Introduction to the Only-Mostlythe Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Dead Art of Chivalry” (Now! With Resource Center (LGB200% More FemiTRC) are proud to presnism!) ent the second annual UI Wednesday NoTransWeek. This year’s vember 17th 3-5pm line-up of educational Iowa City Public and outreach events Library, Room A will include film screenLecture by S. Bear ings, poetry, lectures, Bergman: “How Our workshops, and discusExpanding Undersions that explore and standing Of Gender deconstruct gender from Is Destabilizing multiple and intersecting Sexual Orientation” racial, class, ethnic, and Wednesday Nospiritual perspectives. The week of events is vember 17th 6:30-8pm scheduled for November 14th-17th, 2010.

UI Main Library, Shambaugh AudiUI TransWeek provides excellent op- torium portunities for our academic and cultural For more information about this community to be more inclusive. Given event, please contact Elizabeth Krause, the enormous success of the first annual Staff Advisor for TransCollaborations by UI TransWeek, this year’s event promises e-mail Elizabeth-krause@uiowa.edu or to enliven our campus and community by phone at 319-354-3716 . TransColconversations about what it means to be laborations may be reached by e-mail inclusive of all genders, how other aspects at transcollaborations@gmail.com Alof identity interact with gender, and more ternately, you may also contact Adam broadly - how gender affects us all. All Lewis, Manager of the LGBTRC by e-mail events are free and open to the public. For at adam-m-lewis@uiowa.edu or by phone more detailed information about these at 319-335-7123. events and the artists, performers, and lecturers, please visit the UI LGBTRC web- TransWeek 2010 was made possible site: http://imu.uiowa.edu/lgbt-events by the generous support from: Associated Residence Halls; Campus Progress; Executive Council of Graduate & Professional Students; Hillcrest Hall Association; ROAR; The Carver College Film Screening & Discussion of of Medicine Office of Cultural Affairs and Two Spirits Diversity Initiatives; The Department of Sunday November 14 th 4-6pm American Studies; The Department of UI Latino & Native American Cultural Gender, Women’s, and Sexuality Studies; Center (LNACC) The Native American Council; University Community Potluck & of Iowa Student Government; Women’s Candlelight Vigil Resource & Action Center Monday November 15 th 6-8pm Everyone is encouraged to attend all UI Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender University of Iowa sponsored events. If Resource Center (LGBTRC) you are a person with a disability who “Gendered Expressions” Poetry and requires an accommodation in order to Film Clips from Andrea Gibson & participate in this program, please contact Kortney Ryan Ziegler the Office of Student Life in advance at Tuesday November 16 th 7-9pm 319-335-3059.

Events scheduled for UI TransWeek 2010:

ACCESSline Page 33

An Emotional Rollercoaster

by Travis Bouska

Happiness, hope, solidarity, commitment, fear, anger and sadness, how is it that all of these emotions can be experienced in such a short time? I would like to take this opportunity, to share with you the way I experienced all of these emotions in under a week.

It began Wednesday, October 20, in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I received an invitation to attend the Candlelight Vigil, held along 1st Avenue in remembrance of the recent teen suicides and to help raise awareness of bullying in general. Struggling with the decision of whether to attend or not, I finally decided to make the drive to show my support.

Driving alone, I thought about where I was going, who else would be there, and what impact this would have on my life. To be honest, I questioned myself as to why this event was taking place and would it really “change” me?

Once there, I participated in the vigil outdoors and then made my way back to Hamburger Mary’s. Inside, insights were shared regarding the recent string of teen suicides. I sat quietly listening to these stories being shared, and I couldn’t help but get goose bumps.

To think that individuals at such a young age felt like there was no other option but to take their own life—it seemed unfathomable. At one point, many in the room could be seen shedding tears, including myself. As more stories were shared, I

continued to think to myself, “I’m glad this doesn’t happen where I live.”

I left that night with a renewed enthusiasm and thankfulness for the wonderful friends and family I have—for support.

Little did I know, two days later, I would encounter my own experience with a hate crime.

It seemed like a normal day; I went to work, had dinner with a friend, attended the local high school’s football game and then decided to visit friends after. It was like any other time we have hung out; sitting in the garage with the doors closed to stay warm and carrying on conversations about nothing significant at all. Simply put, just friends having a good time.

Much to my surprise, along with that of the four other individuals present, I soon became the target of what played out to be a horrific event. An unwarranted physical and verbal attack seemingly based solely on my sexual orientation. This individual entered the garage, uninvited, and immediately tried to attack me. Two of my friends whom are both female, were able to get themselves between myself and the attacker, but not before he hit me once in the head.

They continued to struggle with this man physically for approximately 20 minutes, trying to get him off of and away from me. To add to an already unsettling situation, I considered myself helpless. At the time of the attack I was still on crutches, healing from three broken bones and two TTEMOTIONS continued page 35

ACCESSline Page 34

Section 3: Community

NOVEMBER 2010

NOVEMBER 2010 SScontinued from page 33

EMOTIONS fractures suffered in a car accident. The entire time this man was livid with rage, continually screaming that he was going to “kill you, you gay motherf---er” and “the next time I see you in public, faggot, you’re dead.” He continued shoving and pushing my two friends around. He ended up with his shirt ripped off and scratches covering his chest and arms from their attempts to protect me from him.

A police report was taken, witness statements received and charges filed. The man that attacked me is currently facing charges of first degree burglary, which is a class D felony, as well as assault charges for violation of an individual’s rights.

Turns out his attack on me was motivated by my having previously reported to the police that I witnessed a vehicle driving erratically, and that had later caused an accident; the vehicle had been driven by this guy’s friend.

It is unclear at this time whether a plea agreement will be reached with his current charges or if the case will go to a jury trial.

I have voiced my personal opinion to the County Attorney encouraging a jury trial and pushing for the full enforcement of penalty allowed by law.

I have seen angry people before, I have seen irrational behavior, and I have seen people attack others without provocation, but I have never seen this level of rage and hate directed at someone simply because of who they are. It was sickening and terrifying. The hope, happiness and solidarity that I had experienced two days

Section 3: Community earlier were gone. I felt alone, scared and emotionally torn. When I crawled into bed that evening, I thought about the things that were shared in Cedar Rapids; the young teens that took their own lives.

That night, I felt a connection to those individuals. After what I had just experienced earlier, I too felt like nobody cared; I had no reason to live and feared what tomorrow would bring.

On Saturday I attended mass at my church along with one of my best friends, who was also present during the attack.

We had the opportunity to listen to an amazing sermon from a Catholic priest about “Human Dignity.” He stressed the importance of treating ALL humans the same, being accepting of everyone and not judging anyone. As I tried to understand what had happened the night before, I turned to the words in his message. It sounded so simple to do, yet many struggle with it every day: love one another. In a time when the Catholic Church is trying so hard to define marriage, this Priest was standing up for everyone, including me.

His commitment to unity and universal acceptance was very clear. Finally I was starting to get back those feelings I had experienced on Wednesday.

I still struggle everyday to comprehend what happened the night of the attack. I feel as if a part of me was taken away by that individual. I leave my house wondering if everything is safe; will I run into him at the post office, the gas station, and the grocery store? I’m constantly on edge.

However, I also have a better understanding of why I made that trip to Cedar

Rapids. That evening has taken on a whole new meaning for me and I am forever thankful that I was able to be part of it. The attack was truly a life changing experience, which I hope no one else has to endure.

That is why, at a time like this, the support of a community is so important. Actions are being taken to prevent this individual from hurting anyone else, but others still need to be educated on the importance of acceptance.

As a fellow human being you have to respect an individual’s rights. None of us are any better than anyone else based on our race, age, gender or sexual orientation.

Your sins are no less than those of others and neither are mine. God formed each of us, and has put us on this earth for a specific purpose.

Our hope for the future is to educate everyone on the importance of acceptance, so that people realize, that while you do not have to agree with those differences, you do have to respect an individual’s right to be different. You have to allow them to live their lives, with the basic human dignity that is given to each of us when we are born into this world. People need to be made aware of situations like this and realize that crimes like these do happen, even in your own backyard.

It is my hope that by sharing my story I can touch at least one person, and cause them to consider how their actions affect others. Ultimately, I hope to bring about a positive change in their perception of those who are different from them. Then, I believe I will have been able to take something positive, and move forward, from such a horrific event.

ACCESSline Page 35

"Schools would never bring me in or any gay adults in. And their parents are often homophobic, which adds to their distress and isolation. It occurred to me that I was waiting for an invitation and waiting for permission, and I didn’t need anyone’s permission anymore because of YouTube and digital video and Twitter and Facebook. I could post a video and look into a camera and directly address these kids before they commit suicide, instead of feeling bad after they commit suicide.”

— Dan Savage to Entertainment Weekly, October 4, 2010, regarding the launch of the "It Gets Better Project" on YouTube.

ACCESSline Page 36 DIRECTORY NOTICE

The ACCESSline community directory is updated each issue.

LISTINGS ARE FREE. Information about new listings must contain a phone number for publication and a contact (e-mail address, land address, or website) for our records. For more information or to provide corrections, please contact

Editor@ACCESSlineIOWA.com or call (319) 550-0957.

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005 www.victoryfund.org.

202-VICTORY [842-8679] Human Rights Campaign National political organization, lobbies congress for lesbian & gay issues, political training state and local www.hrc.org 1-800-777-HRCF[4723] Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund I I E. Adams, Suite 1008, Chicago, IL 60603 www.lambdalegal.org 312-663-4413 Fax: 312-663-4307 National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) 1325 Massachusetts Ave NW, Ste 600, Washington, DC, 20005 www.ngltf.org / taskforce.org National Organization for Women (NOW) 733 15th ST NW, 2nd Floor Washington, DC 20005 www.now.org 202-628-8669 PFLAG National Offices 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005 info@pflag.org - www.pflag.org 202-467-8180

STATE ORGANIZATIONS Equality Iowa P.O. Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125 www.equalityiowa.org 515-537-3126 Faithful Voices Interfaith Alliance of Iowa’s marriage equality project. www.faithfulvoices.org Imperial Court of Iowa Non-profit fundraising & social, statewide organization with members from across the State of Iowa.

PO Box 1491, Des Moines, IA 50306-1491 www.imperialcourtofiowa.org Iowa Chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) Janis Bowden, President, IA NOW janleebow@aol.com PO Box 41114, Des Moines, IA 503111 Iowa Gay Rodeo Association (IGRA) 921 Diagonal Rd, Malcom, IA 50157 polebender60@yahoo.com 641-990-1411 Iowa PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gay) State Council PO Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125 www.equalityiowa.org/PFLAG 515-537-3126 or 641-583-2024 Iowa Pride Network 777 Third Street, Suite 312, Des Moines, Iowa 50309 Pridenetwork.org Executive Director: 515-471-8062 Outreach Coordinator: 515-471-8063 LGBT Youth in Iowa Schools Task Force PO Box 1997, Des Moines, 50306 515-243-1221 One Iowa 500 East Locust St, Ste 300 Des Moines, IA 50309 515-288-4019 Fax: 515-244-5846 www.OneIowa.org Stonewall Democrats of Iowa 5 Creekside Ct Mason City, IA 50401 Contact: Harvey Ross HRoss007@aol.com 319-362-3099

Ames First United Methodist Church 516 Kellogg Ave, Ames, IA 50010 Contemporary worship Sat. 5:30; Sun at 8:30 and 11:00am. www.acswebnetworks.com/firstunitedmcames/ 515-232-2750 Living with HIV Program 126 S. Kellogg, Suite 1 Ask for Janelle (Coordinator) 515-956-3312 ext 106 or I -800-890-8230

Section 3: Community ISU LGBTA Alliance GLBT Support, Activism, Social Events, Newsletter East Student Office L, Memorial Union, ISU 2229 Lincoln Way, Ames, IA. 50014 alliance@iastate.edu http://www.alliance.stuorg.iastate.edu 515-344-4478 Lord of Life Lutheran 2126 Gable Lane, Ames 50014 Services Sundays at 9:00a.m.; Wed. 7:00pm.

515-233-2350 PFLAG Ames Youth and Shelter Services Offices 2328 Bristol Drive, Ames, IA 50010 2nd Tuesday, 7pm www.pflagames.org 515-291-3607 Romantics Pleasure Palace 117 Kellogg Street, Ames, IA 50010-3315 http://www.romantixonline.com 515-232-7717 United Church of Christ-Congregational 6th & Kellogg Ames, 50010 Sunday Continental Breakfast, 9:00am; Sunday School, 9:30am; Worship, 10:45am. uccames@midiowa.net.

515-232-9323 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Ames 1015 Hyland Ave. Services: 9am and 11am, Sunday www.uufames.org uufa@aol.com 515-292-5960 Unity Church of Ames 226 9th St. Sunday service and Sunday school 10:30am.

Wednesday mediation 6:30pm, . www.websyt/unity/ames Daily dial-a-blessing 515-233-1613

Arnolds Park, Okoboji, Spencer, Spirit Lake The Royal Wedding Chapel 504 Church Street, Royal, IA 51357 712-933-2223 www.TheRoyalWeddingChapel.com Wilson Resource Center An Iowa Great Lakes area gay-owned nonprofit community based organization.

PO Box 486, 597 W. Okoboji Rd., Arnolds Park IA 51331-0486 F.JosephWilson@aol.com. www.wilsonresource.org 712-332-5043

BURLINGTON Arrowhead Motel 2520 Mount Pleasant St Burlington, IA 52601-2118 319-752-6353 www.arrowheadia.com HIV/AIDS Screening @ Des Moines County Health Department in Burlington 522 N 3rd By appointment between 8:00am to 4:30 319-753-8217 Confidential RISQUES IV (adult store) 421 Dry Creek Ave, West Burlington, IA 52601 (319) 753-5455 Sun - Wed 8am-Midnight Thurs - Sat Open 24 Hours www.LoversPlayground.com Steve’s Place 852 Washington St, Burlington 319-754-5868 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Services start at 10:30 am 625 N 6th St, Burlington, IA 52601-5032 (319) 753-1895 - www.uuburlington.org

Cedar Falls - Waterloo Adult Cinema 315 E 4th St Waterloo, IA 50703-4703 (319) 234-7459 Black Hawk Co. Health Department Free HIV testing (donations accepted); MW, 1:00pm to 3:00pm; Thurs, 1:00pm to 4:45pm 1407 Independence Ave. (5th fl) Waterloo 50703 319-291 -2413 Cedar AIDS Support System (CASS) Service, support groups & trained volunteers for persons with HIV/AIDS in Waterloo/CF call Elizabeth or Karla, 319-272-AIDS(2437). cvhospice@forbin.net Cedar Valley Counseling Services Promoting personal growth and development in a strengths-based environment Joan E. Farstad, MA, Director.

319-240-4615 www.cvcounseling.com farstd@cvcounseling.com.

Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. In Lutheran Center 2616 College St, Cedar Falls, IA 319-415-5747 mcdinoiwa@aol.com www.episcopalcampus.org

Community AIDS Assistance Project (CAAP) Funding for special personal needs, community projects, and small grants that are AIDS related.

PO Box 36, Waterloo, IA 50704 LGBTA Support Group at Hawkeye Community College Call Carol at 319-296-4014 for time & location of meeting chedberg@hawkeyecollege.edu Iowa Legal Aid Free civil legal service available to low income persons who qualify under income/asset guidelines.

607 Sycamore, #708, Waterloo, IA 50703 1-800-772-0039 or 319-235-7008 Kings & Queens Tap 304 W. 4th St, Waterloo, IA www.//myspace.com/kingsandqueensspace 319-232-3001 Romantix Waterloo (Adult Emporium) 1507 La Porte Rd, Waterloo, IA 50702 319-234-9340 http://www.romantixonline.com/ Stellas Guesthouse 324 Summit Ave, Waterloo, IA Private B&B, Overnight accommodations for adults only.

319-232-2122 St. Lukes Episcopal Church 2410 Melrose Dr, Cedar Falls, IA 50613 www.st-lukes-episcopal.org Services: Sunday 8:00 & 10:15, Thurs 11:30 319-277-8520 Together For Youth 233 Vold Dr, Waterloo, IA 50703 www.TogetherForYouth.net 319-274-6768 UNI-LGBTA Alliance-Student Organization 244A Bartlet Hall, University of Northern Iowa Cedar Falls 50613 lgbta@uni.edu 319-222-0003 United Church of Christ Cedar Falls 9204 University Avenue, Cedar Falls 319-266-9686 Unitarian Universalist Society of Black Hawk County 3912 Cedar Heights Dr, Cedar Falls, IA 319-266-5640

Cedar Rapids/marion Adult Shop 630 66th Ave SW, 319-362-4939 Adult Shop North 5539 Crane Lane, 319-294-5360 Cedar Rapids Unity (Formerly GLRC of Cedar Rapids) Support, social activities. lnfo@crglrc.org, cedarrapidsunity.org or write to PO Box 1643 Cedar Rapids 52406-1643 Call and leave a message—all calls will be returned. 319-415-1511 Christ Episcopal Church “We have a place for you.”

220 40th Street NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404 319-363-2029 www.ChristEpiscopal.org Club Basix Open 5pm to 2am M-F, Sat & Sun 3pm-2am 3916 1st Ave. NE, Cedar Rapids www.clubbasix.com 319-363-3194 Coe Alliance Education, activism & fun for GLBTQ and straight students, staff and people from the community.

Coe College 1220 First Ave NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402 For information contact: coealliance@coe.edu or Erica Geers, faculty advisor at 319-861-6025 CSPS Legion Arts Contemporary Arts Center 1103 3rd St. SE info@legionarts.org 319-364-1580 Faith UMC 1000 30th Street NE, Cedar Rapids, 52402 Pastor Kathy Moore Sunday services at 11:00am. www.crfaithumc.org 319-363-8454 Foundation 2 Crisis Counseling 24-hour telephone crisis counseling. f2crisis@aol.com or www.f2online.org 1540 2nd Ave. SE Cedar Rapids, IA 319-362-2174 or 800-332-4224 Hamburger Mary’s 222 Glenbrook Dr., Cedar Rapids, IA 52403 319-378-4627 www.hamburgermaryscr.com Linn County Public Health 501 13th NW Free confidential HIV testing, 319-892-6000

Linn County Stonewall Democrats 2nd Wednesday of every month, 6:30-8 p.m.

The LGBT Caucus of the Democratic Party, meets at Hamburger Mary’s, 222 Glenbrook Dr. SE, behind 2nd Wind off of 1st Ave SE in Cedar Rapids. For more info, contact linnstonewall@ gmail.com Rapid AIDS Grant Wood Area Red Cross 3600 Rockwell Dr NE, Cedar Rapids, 52410 319-393-9579.

People’s Church Unitarian Universalist A welcoming congregation.

600 Third Avenue SE 11am Sunday. 319-362-9827 PFLAG CR, Linn Co and Beyond Meets at People’s Church (in Cherry Room) 600 3rd ST, Cedar Rapids Iowa 52401 Contact Person: Diane Peterson Phone: 319-362-9827 6:30pm on the 4th Thursdays except months like November. (Email ddpeters57@gmail.com for alternate dates.)

Stonewall Democrats of Linn County Contact Roy Porterfield royboycr@mchsi.com 319-362-5281 Tri-ess, Iota Kappa Phi Chapter P.O. Box 8605, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52408 We are a transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. www.yahoo.com/group/Tri-essIotaKappaPhi www.tri-ess.org, 319-390-6376 E-mail: Georgia georgia523@yahoo.com E-mail: Judy marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Unity Center of Cedar Rapids “A center of positive, practical Christianity.”

3791 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids www.unitycr.org - (319) 393-5422

CLINTON Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Clinton 309 30th Avenue North, Clinton, IA 52732 (563) 242-4972 - uuclinton.org Sunday services at 10:30 (year-round) Where YOUR spiritual and ethical journey is welcome! Rev. Ruby Nancy, minister

Council Bluffs, Omaha(Ne) AIDS Interfaith Network 100 N. 62nd, Omaha, NE Call Br. Wm. Woeger 402-558-3100 Broadway Joe’s 3400 W Broadway Council Bluffs, IA 51501 712-256-2243 Citizens For Equal Protection 1105 Howard St, Suite #2, Omaha, NE 68102 www.cfep-ne.org info@cfep-ne.org 402-398-3027 Council Bluffs NOW Write PO Box 3325 Omaha, NE 68103-0325 DC’s Saloon 610 S. 14th St., Omaha, NE Open everyday 2pm-1am, western/levi/leather.

402-344-3103 Diamond Bar 712 S. 16th St., Omaha, NE 10am - 1am, M-Sa, closed Sun 402-342-9595 Front Runners/Front Walkers Walking/jogging club.

P.O. Box 4583, Omaha, NE 68104 402-496-3658.

Gilligan’s Pub and Grill 1407 Harney, Omaha, NE Everyday 4pm-1am.

Friday and Sat. After hours 12-4am 402-449-9147 GLBT Rainbow Outreach Omaha Serving GLBT community in eastern Nebraska and western Iowa. Excellent message and info. Also office for Imperial court of Nebraska.

1719 Leavenworth St, Omaha, NE www.rocc.org 402-341-0330 Heartland Gay Rodeo Association (HGRA) (Midwest Division of the International Gay Rodeo Association) PO Box 3354, Omaha, NE 68103 www.hgra.net - 402-203-4680 HGRA serves both Iowa and Nebraska Imperial Court of Nebraska P.O. Box 3772, Omaha, NE 68103 402-556-9907 L.E.O. (Leather Engineers of Omaha) Educational-social group for Gay Men with interest in Leather Lifestyle. Meets 2nd Saturday at Gilligan’s Pub at 7:00pm.

L.E.O. PO Box 8101 Omaha, NE 68108.

The Max 1417 Jackson at 15th, Omaha, NE 68102 6 bars in 1 402-346-4110

NOVEMBER 2010 MCC Omaha 819 South 22nd P.O. Box 3173, Omaha, NE 68103 Sun 9 & 11 am Wednesday “ReCharge” Worship, Wed 7pm 402-345-2563 PFLAG Omaha Mead Hall, First United Methodist Church 7020 Cass St. (Omaha) 2nd Thursday, 7, 6:30 Social time 402-291-6781 River City Mixed Chorus Gay/lesbian chorus PO Box 3267 Omaha, NE 68103 Call Stan Brown, marketing 402-341-7464.

Romantix Council Bluffs (North) (Adult Emporium) 3216 1st Ave. Council Bluffs, IA 51501-3353 http://www.romantixonline.com 515-955-9756 Tri-ess Chapter, Kappa Phi Lambda Chapter Omaha, NE 68107 We are a transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. www.tri-ess.org, 402-960-9696 E-mail: Judy marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Romantix Council Bluffs (South) (Romantix After Dark) 50662 189th St, Council Bluffs, Ia 51503 http://www.romantixonline.com 712-366-1764 Youth Support Group for GLBT Youth 13-21, meets twice monthly.

Omaha, NE 402-291- 6781.

Decorah Decorah Human Rights Commission Contact: City Clerk 400 Clairborne Dr, Decorah 563-382-3651 Meetings: First Tuesdays, 5:30pm Luther College Student Congregation Contact Office for College Ministry 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101 563-387-1040.

PFLAG Northeast IA (Waukon/Decorah) First Lutheran Church 604 W Broadway St, Decorah, IA Meetings: 4th Mondays, 7pm-9pm in the Fellowship Hall Call Jean @ 563-535-7680 PRIDE Luther College Diversity Center, 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101 Contact Chris at 563-387-2145 or Melanie at 563-387-1273 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Meets alternating Sundays at 10:30am, Decorah Senior Center 806 River St Call Bill at 563-382-3458.

Des Moines AIDS Project of Central Iowa Free HIV testing, prevention supplies, care services, food pantry, information.

711 E. 2nd, Des Moines, IA 50309 515-284-0245 Blazing Saddle 416 E 5th St www.theblazingsaddle.com 515-246-1299 Buddies Corral 418 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA 515-244-7140 The CENTER 1300 Locust The new LGBT and progressive place to be. thecenterdm@gmail.com Facebook: The CENTER & Equality Iowa www.equalityiowa.org 515-243-0313 Church of the Holy Spirit-MCC Pastor Pat Esperanza Sunday service 10:30am at the 1st Christian Church 2500 University, Des Moines chsmccdmia@aol.com 515-287-9787.

Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus 515-953-1540 PO Box 12269, Des Moines, IA 50312 dmgmc@mchsi.com www.dmgmc.org.

Family Practice Center Safe, supportive LGBT health care.

200 Army Post Road, Ste 26 www.ppgi.org 515-953-7560 First Friday Breakfast Club Educational breakfast club for gay/bisexual men. Meets first Friday of each month.

Contact Jonathan Wilson for meeting topic and place.

Jonathanwilson@davisbrownlaw.com 515-288-2500

NOVEMBER 2010 First Unitarian Church 1800 Bell Avenue Services Sundays at 9:30 & 11am 515-244-8603 The Gallery (adult store) 1000 Cherry St Des Moines, IA 50309-4227 (515) 244-2916 Open 24 Hours www.LoversPlayground.com The Garden 112 SE 4th Des Moines, IA 515-243-3965 Wed-Sun. 8pm-2am www.grdn.com Gay & Lesbian AA & AI-Anonymous Mon. 7 pm; Tues. - Thurs. 6 pm; Sat. 5:30 pm at Drake Ministries in Ed. Bldg. 28th & University Gay and Lesbian Issues Committee 4211 Grand Avenue, Level-3 Des Moines, IA 50312 515-277-1117 Iowa Affirmation Lesbian/Gay United Methodist Thoreau Center, 35th & Kingman Blvd.

Write Affirmation PO Box 1726, Des Moines, IA 50309 Java Joe’s Gay friendly 214 4th St. 515-288-5282 Lavender Victory Fund Financial assistance for women in need for medical emergencies. lavendervf@aol.com Le Boi Bar 508 Indianola Rd, Des Moines, IA Liberty Gifts 333 E. Grand Ave., Loft 105, Des Moines, IA Gay owned specialty clothing, jewelry, home decor.

Libertygiftsonline.com 515-508-0825 MINX Show Palace 1510 N.E. Broadway Des Moines, IA 50313 Open 9am - 2am, M-Th; 9am - 4am, F-Sat. 10am -9pm Sun. 515-266-2744 National Association of Social Workers (NOW) (Nat’1 Organization of Women in Des Moines) http://www.meetup.com/locale/us/ia/desmoines North Star Gay Rodeo Association of IGRA, Iowa Division of North Star NSGRA@NSGRA.org or 612-82RODEO Rainbow Union, Drake University Contact Sara Graham ru@drake.edu Ray Perry Law Firm 515-279-2244 Free Initial Consultation PFLAG Des Moines 515-537-3126 or write 3520 Grand Ave #51, Des Moines, IA 50312 Plymouth Congregational UCC Church and the Plymouth GLBT Community 4126 Ingersoll Ave. 515-255-3149 Services at 5:30pm Sat, 9am & I lam Sunday. www.PlymouthGLBT.com Polk County Health Department Free STD, HIV, and Hepatitis B & C testing.

HIV. Rapid testing also offered.

1907 Carpenter, Des Moines, IA 515-286-3798.

Raccoon River Resort Accommodations for men, women, or mixed in campgrounds, lodge, Teepees or Treehouses. Reservations: 515-996-2829 or 515-279-7312 Ritual Café On 13th between Grand and Locust. ritualcafe@aol.com Gay owned great music, awesome food and coffee.

515-288-4872 Romantix North Des Moines Iowa (Bachelor’s Library) 2020 E. Euclid Ave, Des Moines, IA 50317 www.romantixonline.com 515-266-7992 Romantix 1401 E. Army Post Rd. Des Moines IA 50320-1809 http://www.romantixonline.com/ 515-256-1102 SOFFA Iowa (Significant Others Family Friends and Allies of people who fall under the Gender Variant umbrella) Monthly meetings held at The CENTER, 1300 Locust contact Jaye at: (515)779-5185 thecentersoffaiowa@gmail.com Spouses of Lesbians & Gays Contact Ruth Schanke, 515-277-3700

Section 3: Community St. John’s Lutheran Church 600 6th Ave “A Church for All People.”

Services Sat 5pm, Sun 7:45, 8:45 & 11am.

See web page for other services.

515-243-7691 www.stjohnsdsm.org TransformationsIOWA Monthly meetings for the female to male, male to female, transgender community, cross dressers, gender queer, questioning, and their significant others. For location and info, email Jayden at thecenterdmtrans@gmail.com or call 515-779-5187 Trinity United Methodist Church 1548 Eighth Street Services Sundays at 10a.m.

515-288-4056 Urbandale UCC An open & affirming congregation.

3530 70th St., Urbandale, IA 50322 515-276-0625.

Walnut Hills UMC Join us at 8:30 or 10:30am for Sunday worship. Sunday classes and group studies are at 9:30am.

12321 Hickman Rd. Urbandale, IA 50323 515-270-9226.

Westminster Presbyterian Church 4114 Allison Ave. www.westpres.org Sunday services 8:45 and 11am. Of note is their Gay Lesbian Straight Affirmation small group ministry. 515-274-1534 Word of God Ministries Join us at 3:30 for Sunday Worship at 3120 E. 24th St, Des Moines, IA Mailing address: PO Box 4396, Des Moines IA 50333 515-276-6614 Women’s Culture Collective (WCC) A lesbian social group.

Des Moines, IA www.iowawcc.org Zanzibar’s Coffee Adventure Open daily. Gay-friendly 2723 Ingersoll, Des Moines, IA 515-244-7694.

Dubuque Adult Warehouse 975 Jackson St., Dubuque, IA 563-588-9184.

Dubuque Friends Worship Group (Quakers) Tired of being rejected by your church?

Tired of following church pronouncements that smack of homophobia? Join us at an unprogrammed meeting on Sunday at 10am.

Open and Affirming St. Mark’s Community Center 1201 Locust Street, Dubuque, Iowa 52001 563-556-3685 for info and directions Dubuque Pride Monthly social group, meeting for meal and conversation. www.dubuquepride.org Dubuque Regional AIDS Coalition Direct services, education. HIV+/AIDS support group and family/friends support group. Contact Kay Auderer or Connie Sprimont, Mercy Health Center. 563-589-9606.

PFLAG Dubuque St. John’s Lutheran Church 1276 White St. 3rd Thursday, 7pm 563-582-9388 Q Bar East 90 Sinsinawa Ave, The Strip, East Dubuque, IL 61025 qbar.east@gmail.com Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Dubuque 1699 Iowa St., Dubuque, IA “The uncommon denomination.” Adult religious education meets Sunday at 9am before general services at 10am. www.uuf-dbq.org. 563-583-9910

Fort Dodge Romantix Fort Dodge (Mini Cinema) 15 N. 5th St, Fort Dodge, IA 50501-3801 http://www.romantixonline.com

Grinnell Saints Ephrem & Macrina Orthodox Mission. Welcoming worship in the Eastern Christian liturgical tradition.

Sunday services at 10am. (Affiliated with the Orthodox-Catholic Church of America.)

1226 Broad Street, Grinnell, IA 641-236-0936 Stonewall Resource Center Open 4:30pm to 11:30pm, Sun through Thurs and by Appointment.

Grinnell College 1210 Park Street PO Box B-1, Grinnell, IA, 50112 srcenter@grinnell.edu 641-269-3327

INDIANOLA Crossroads United Church of Christ (UCC) An Open & affirming congregation. Services: Sunday 10:30am, Summer worship: June, July, Aug, @ 9:30 am, worshiping in the Lounge at Smith Chapel, Simpson College, corner of Buxton and Clinton. Mailing address: P.O. Box 811, Indianola, IA 50125 515-961-9370.

Iowa City AA (GLBT) Meetings Sundays 5 - 6pm at First Baptist Church, 500 North Clinton Street. For more info, call IC Intergroup Answering Service, 319-338-9111 Congregational Church UCC An Open and Affirming Congregation Sunday Worship 9:15am (July & August) 30 N. Clinton St. (across from Ul Pentacrest) 319-337-4301 - www.uiccic.org Counseling Clinic Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender sensitive and supportive counseling for individuals, couples, families and groups. Sliding Fee. 505 E Washington St., Iowa City, IA 52240 319-354-6238 Counseling and Health Center Client-centered therapy.

Les-Bi-Gay-Trans always welcome.

616 Bloomington St, Iowa City, IA 319-337-6998

U of I Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Staff & Faculty Association c/o WRAC 130 N. Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 319-335-1486 Unitarian Universalist Society of Iowa City Inclusive and free religious community nurturing intellectual and spiritual growth and fostering ethical and social responsibility.

10 S. Gilbert, Iowa City, IA Sunday services: 9:30am & 11:15am. www.uusic.org 319-337-3443 United Action for Youth (UAY) A GLBTQA youth group providing support and counseling for teenagers and young adults processing sexual identity issues. Meets Mondays 7-9pm at UAY 410 Iowa Ave. Iowa City, IA 319-338-7518 or Teen Line, 319-338-0559.

The Ursine Group Bear Events in the Midwest.

PO Box 1143, Iowa City, IA 52244-1143 319-338-5810 Vortex Gifts 211 E. Washington, downtown Iowa City 319-337-3434

Crisis Center 1121 Gilbert Court, Iowa City, 52240 319-351-0140

Women’s Resource Action Center (WRAC) Leads & collaborates on projects that serve U of l and the greater community, offers social & support services, including LGBT Coming Out Group.

University of Iowa 130 N. Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 319-335-1486

Emma Goldman Clinic 227 N. Dubuque St, Iowa City, IA 52245 319-337-2111or 1-800-848-7684.

Adult Odyssey (Adult Video Store) 907 Iowa Ave E - 641-752-6550

Faith United Church of Christ 1609 De Forest Street, Iowa City, IA Services Sundays at 9:30am 319-338-5238 GLBTAU-U of lA Student support system and resource center, info, activism, events, and other community involvements.

203 IMU, University of IA Iowa City, IA 52242-1317 glbtau@uiowa.edu 319-335-3251 (voice mail) Hope United Methodist Church Worship Service at 9:30am.

2929 E. Court St., Iowa City, IA Contact Rev. Sherry Lohman. 319-338-9865 Human Rights Commission (City of Iowa City Human Rights Commission) 319-356-5022; 391-356-5015; 319-356-5014 Fax 319-887-6213 humanrights@iowa-city.org ICARE (Iowa Center for AIDS Resources & Education) Practical & emotional support, youth programs, information, referrals and support groups.

3211 E 1st Iowa City, IA 52240-4703 319-338-2135 Iowa City Free Medical Clinic Free & strictly confidential HIV Testing.

2440 Towncrest Dr Iowa City, Call for appointment 319-337-4459 Iowa City NOW PO Box 2944, Iowa City, IA 52244 for information & meeting times/places Iowa Women’s Music Festival P.O. Box 3411, Iowa City, IA 52244 319-335-1486 Men Supporting Men HIV prevention program exploring issues that gay/bisexual men deal with on a daily basis.

Discussion Groups, Educational Series, Safer Sex Workshops, Book Club. Contact Andy Weigel, email: aweigel@co.johnson.ia.us 319-356-6038, Ext 2 New Song Episcopal Church 912 20th Ave, Coralville, IA Sunday services at 10am.

Rev. Elizabeth Coulter, Pastor Rev. John Harper, Associate.

319-351-3577 Pride Committee WRAC 130 N. Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 Bridget Malone - 319-338-0512 Charles Howes - 319-335-1486.

Romantix Iowa City (Pleasure Palace I) 315 Kirkwood Ave, Iowa City, IA 52240-4722 www.romantixonline.com 319-351-9444 Studio 13 13 S. Linn St. (in the Alley) Iowa City, IA Open 7pm ‘til 2am, daily 319-338-7145 Thich Nhat Hanh based “Mindfulness” meditation and study group Iowa City Public Library, Sundays 1 to 2:30pm Usually Room E 319-354-4065

Marshalltown Domestic Violence Alternatives/ Sexual Assault Center, Inc. 24 hour Crisis Line: 641-753-3513 or (instate only) 800-779-3512

MASON CITY

ACCESSline Page 37 Mary’s On 2nd 832 W. 2nd St. Davenport, IA 563-884-8014.

MCC Quad Cities - Svcs Sat 5pm, Sun 11am Bible study Wed 7pm 3019 N Harrison, Davenport, IA 52803 Call 563-324-8281.

Men’s Coming Out/Being Out Group Meets 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 7pm.

QCAD.OutForGood@GMail.com 309-786-2580 PFLAG Quad Cities Eldridge United Methodist Church 604 S.2nd St., (Eldridge) 1st Monday, 6:30 pm 563-285-4173 Prism (Augustana College) Augustana Gay-Straight Alliance Augustana Library 639 38th St, Rock Island, IL Contact Tom Bengston 309-794-7406 Quad Citians Affirming Diversity (QCAD) Social & support groups for lesbian, bi, and gay teens, adults, friends & families; newsletter.

309-786-2580 Community Center located at 1608 2nd Ave, Rock Island.

Quad Cities Pride Chorus.

At the MCC Church in D’port, 7pm Wed. qcswede64@aol.com Call Don at 563-324-0215 Rainbow Gifts www.rainbowgifts.net 309-764-0559 T.R. Video Adult books & video 3727 Hickory Grove Rd, Davenport, IA 563-386-7914.

Venus News (Adult) 902 W 3rd St, Davenport, IA 563-322-7576

SHENANDOAH

Cerro Gordo County Dept. of Public Health 22 N. Georgia Ave, Ste 300 Mason City, IA 50401.

Free confidential AIDS testing. 641-421-9306

PFLAG Shenandoah 712-899-2743

PFLAG North Iowa Chapter 1st Presbyterian Church 100 S. Pierce.

1st/ 2nd Monday (alternating), 7pm 641-583-2848

Am. Business & Professional Guild.

Gay Businessmen.

Meets last Sat. of the month; ABPG P. O. BOX 72, Sioux City, 51102 abpguild@yahoo.com

Mount Vernon Alliance Cornell College 810 Commons Cir # 2035 alliance@cornellcollege.edu www.cornellcollege.edu/alliance Contact person: Glynnis 319-895-5874

NEWTON PFLAG Newton UCC Church, 308 E 2nd St N 3rd Thursday, 7pm 641-521-7436

Pella Common Ground (Central College) Support group for GLBT students and allies.

Contact: Brandyn Woodard, Director of Intercultural Life woodardb@central.edu 641-628-5134

Quad Cities AIDS Project Quad Cities Info, education & support. Ste 360 1351 Central Park West Davenport, IA 52804 563-421-4266 Augie’s Tap 313 20th St, Rock Island (IL) Noon - 3am daily. 309-788-7389 Black Hawk College Unity Alliance Serving GLBT community at Black Hawk College.

6600 34th Ave, Rock Island, IL 309-716-0542.

Connections Nightclub 822 W 2nd St, Davenport, IA 52802 563-322-1121 DeLaCerda House Provides housing and supportive services, advocacy and referrals for people living with HIV/AIDS. P.O. Box 4551, Rock Island, Il. 61201 309-786-7386.

The Hole-In-The-Wall A Private Membership Men’s Club Located 3 miles east of Galesburg, IL just north of I-74 at Exit 51 309-289-2375 www.HoleInTheWallMensClub.org Holy Spirit Catholic Faith Community Meets one Sunday per month for Mass at 6:30pm at MCC-QC 3019 N. Harrison St, Davenport, IA Mailing: PO Box 192 East Moline, IL 61244 For more info, call 309-278-3359

Sioux City

Grace United Methodist Church 1735 Morningside Avenue 712-276-3452.

Jones Street Station (Bar) 412 Jones St. Nightly 6:00pm to 2:00am.

712-258-6922 Mayflower Congregational Church.

1407 West 18th Street Call 712-258-8278.

Morningside College Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Alliance Contact Professor Gail Dooley, Advisor Morningside College GSA 1501 Morningside Ave. Sioux City, IA 51106-1717 dooley@morningside.edu 712-274-5208 PFLAG Siouxland PO Box 1311, Sioux City, IA 51102 siouxlandPFLAG@aol.com Romantix Sioux City (Adult Emporium) 511 Pearl St, Sioux City, IA 51101-1217 712-277-8566 St. Thomas Episcopal Church Service Sun 10:30am 406 12th St, Waverly, IA Rev Mary Christopher 712-258-0141 Western Iowa Tech. GSA widemal@juno.com for info.

Zaner’s Bar 3103 N Hwy 75, Sioux City, IA 51105 Monthly drag shows & events; hometown bar for Imperial Court of Iowa’s Western Chapter zaners-sioux-city@hotmail.com 712-277-9575

Waverly Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry.

717 W. Bremer, (St. Andrew’s Episcopal) Waverly, IA www.episcoplcampus.org 319-415-5747 Gay, Lesbian Bisexual Student Alliance Wartburg College, Waverly, IA 50677 Contact Susan Vallem 319-352-8250 St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church 717 W. Bremer We welcome all to worship with us on Sunday at 10:30 am. Bible discussion Wed. 6:45pm Rev. Maureen Doherty, Pastor 319-352-1489

ACCESSline Page 38

Section 3: Community

Snap Shots from The CENTER: Sandy Vopalka Welcome to The CENTER’s “Snap Shot”.

EQIA reenergized itself about twenty months ago and began work one project that turned into The CENTER. As Equality Iowa (EQIA) and The CENTER move in a new direction we will be providing a snap shot of our work and those involved with the work. To reach us in the mean time: www.equalityiowa.org or call 515243-031 This month we will start with a brief overview of the woman that initially started Equality Iowa and has been there since the start of The CENTER – Sandy Vopalka: I’m Sandy Vopalka. I was born December 24, 1961 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I grew up the oldest of three children brought up in a rich Czech culture. My great-grandparents on both my mother and father’s side immigrated to Cedar Rapids. Many of the Czech customs and culture shaped our family life.

School was rough. I had learning disabilities, I was overweight, my clothes were not fashionable , I didn’t have many friends, I was bullied and I was a bully at times.

These issues coupled with family issues of alcoholism, domestic abuse, divorce, incest and a blended family made the early years a challenge. Alcohol abuse was a way to cope through high school and college.

I came out as a lesbian when I was eighteen as I finished high school and headed to college. I attended Methodist colleges

majoring in Theology and Recreational Therapy. As I worked through college I found out this path was not well suited for an out lesbian. Just days before my 25th birthday, I was injured at work; my lower back and neck were permanently damaged.

Despite my debilitating pain and disability I completed my undergraduate degree and Master’s degree in Human Development & Gerontology.

I have been a part of the LGBTQI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning/Queer, Intersex) community for 30 years and have been doing some type of grass roots organizing for most of those years. I started Equality Iowa (EQIA) in 2003, and worked on the changes to the State civil rights’ code which passed and became law in 2007.

June 1st, 2009 EQIA made sure the doors were open for The CENTER. Despite a rough start The CENTER has been opened seventeen months now. We serve an average of 120 people a month. We currently have nine regularly scheduled programs and with plans for four to five new ones to start soon.

Because I know what it’s like to have NO place to feel space, feeling like you are all alone and no one cares I feel there is a strong need for The CENTER to provide a safe place and a voice to all of the LGBTQI community including the un- and underserved.

All of these things have played a role in shaping who I am today. My passion and involvement has sometimes overshadowed the others that have been and are involved

Sandy Vopalka and Beau Fodor, Halloween 2010 at The CENTER

with The CENTER. I know that they are a big part of keeping The Center open.

And we would not be where we are today without them.

We are currently reorganizing the Board of Directors who will oversee The CENTER. Now’s the time for the community to jump in and be part of The CENTER. You can become part of the advisory board of The CENTER, donation time or money, or if asked serve on the Board of Directors for EQIA.

NOVEMBER 2010

“One of the things that has shaken a lot of gays and lesbian who are adults, who grew up and moved away and live in big cities [is] it feels like it’s getting better. And it absolutely has gotten better to be gay and lesbian over the last forty years. What we really haven’t been aware of until these suicides woke us up is that it’s getting worse in these small towns or exurbs.

And the only people who are gay or lesbian in those places typically are young adults. The one truth when you watch these videos is: ‘I grew up in small town wherever, and then when I graduated, I got the hell out of there.’ Who are we leaving behind and what’s the cultural climate they were left behind in?”

— Dan Savage to Entertainment Weekly, October 4, 2010, regarding the "It Gets Better Project" on YouTube.

NOVEMBER 2010

Section 3: Community

ACCESSline Page 39