Bob Vander Plaats: Matthew Morrison: As Gay As He Gets Creep of the Week interview by Chris Azzopardi The nationally syndicated column “Creep of the Week” honored Bob Vander Plaats as the “Creep” for the week of April 14, 2011, due to Mr. Vander Plaats’ decision to promote the idea that homosexuality is “a public health risk.” From the column: “At a March 24 tour stop, ThinkProgress asked Vander Plaats to clarify the Iowa FAMiLY Leader’s position on the health risks of homosexuality. His answer was unambiguous: ‘It is a public health risk.’ ” “Creep of the Week” is written by D’Anne Witkowski and is one of the nationwide columns included in ACCESSline each month. The column is described as follows: “With so many enemies to the LGBT community, who could choose just one? Sarcastic and hilarious columnist D’Anne Witkowski tells readers who to direct their hate at each week with ‘Creep of the Week.’ This column spares no one, targeting everyone from homophobic evangelicals to lying politicians and even the occasional group who tries to boycott a gay-friendly business or blame LGBTs for natural disasters. Witkowski’s biting commentary is sure to bring readers back each week to see who made it to the top of the LGBT [creep] list.” (See this month’s “creeps” starting on page 8.)
Tip Top Cakes:
more than weddings On its third year, Tip Top Cakes was the winner of last year’s Best Cakes category in the Eastern Iowa 2010 KCRG A-List; it is currently a favorite to win in this year’s competition as well. Tip Top Cakes also specializes in pies, pastries, and most baked goods.
TT
Because of your musical-theater work and Glee
TTMATTHEW continued page 12
Save the dates for PRIDE MONTH in Iowa June 3-5 Cedar Rapids Pride June 3-5 Quad Cities Pride June 8-13 Sioux City Gay Pride Week June 10-13 Capital City Pride, Des Moines IA June 17-19 Iowa City Pride June 23-26 Camp Pride, LV Campground, Coggon IA June 24-26 Heartland Pride, Omaha NE
Other Area Pride Events June 10-13 Milwaukee Pride Fest June 24-26 Chicago Pride June 24-26 St. Louis Pride Fest June 25-26 Twin Cities Pride
Story on page 18
Page 6
Matthew Morrison doesn’t mind being the gayest straight man you know. The 32-year-old actor recently called being a member of a gay boy band in the 2003 film Marci X the “gayest thing” he’s done in his career. And that’s saying a lot—he’s currently starring on Glee, playing hot choir-club head Mr. Schuester. His part on the musical-comedy hybrid follows years of Broadway work on shows like Hairspray and The Light in the Piazza, which earned him a Tony nomination. Now, after becoming a big deal and an even bigger teacher crush, Morrison ventures out on his own with a solo debut and summer tour. We spoke recently with the man behind Mr. Schuester, chatting about some racy photos involving a gay twin and his “chicken,” the Glee girl he’d date, and the importance of the show’s father-son relationship.
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Page 15
Matthew Morrison. Photo by Brian Bowen Smith.
What’s Inside: Section 1: News & Politics
Advertising rates College GSAs in Eastern Iowa by Jake Hewett NOH8 Open Shoot, June 4, Des Moines Celebrating two years of marriage equality US News World News Remarkable by Jonathan Wilson NOM hacks its own Facebook page Creeps of the Week Minor Details: “Re-Using the Religious Right for 2012” Talking to Legislators by David Twombley
Section 2: Fun Guide
Entertainment Picks for May Deep Inside Hollywood Partying Hard: It’s the ‘50s Again, Sort Of The Outfield Cocktail Chatter Recurring Events, Statewide Hear Me Out (Music Reviews) The Gay Wedding Planner Diversity Chorus Spring Concert, May 9 The Quire presents “Lux Aeterna” May 14 This Mother’s Day (recipes) Out of Town: Hwy 1 - Los Angeles to San Francisco Book Worm Sez: Concierge Confidential Comics and Crossword Puzzle
Section 3: Community
3 4 4 4 5 6 7 7 8 9 9 11 11 12 13 14 15 15 18 18 23 23 25 26 26
Council Bluffs Community Alliance Calendar 29 First Friday Breakfast Club: Zach Wahls 29 Ten Ways to Start a Conversation about Marriage 29 Queeries: LGBT Etiquette by Steven Petrow 30 Wired That Way:Viewpoint Discrimination 30 Inside Out: “Discussing the plumbing” by Ellen Krug 31 Twenty Questions, a 10-part transgender series 33 Ed Kelly: I’m proof that God changes hearts and minds 34 Business Directory 36-37 The Positive Project 38
Page 23
Page 25
ACCESSline Page 2
Section 1: News & Politics
MAY 2011
Section 1: News & Politics
MAY 2011
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ACCESSline is a monthly publication by Breur Media Corporation. The paper was founded in 1986 by the non-profit organization ACCESS (A Concerned Community for Education, Safer-sex and Support) in Northeast Iowa.
Arthur Breur, Editor in Chief Q Syndicate Rex Wockner News Service Contributors: Bruce Carr; Joshua Dagon; Rachel Eliason; Dr. Michael Fenster; Beau Fodor; Jake Hewett; Ed Kelly; Ellen Krug; Bob Minor; Brett Edward Stout; David Twombley; Trish Varnum; Jonathan Wilson
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ACCESSline Page 3
From the Editor: Conversation Starters I have long held the belief that open communication and discussion is the best way—perhaps the only way—for us as individuals to gain acceptance with our family members, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances (and politicians, preachers, and the occasional socially conservative radio talk show host...) In my own experience, however, just starting a personal conversation with someone—say, with my police officer father when I was a senior in high school, for example—was incredibly daunting. It often took me outrageous amounts of planning just to broach the simplest of subjects, like mentioning that I wanted to spend time with a friend who was also gay, or to go to an event at the local Center, or that the skate night I was going to was specifically a “gay” thing. I must admit, in my adolescent selfabsorption, it never occurred to me how hard it must have been for my family members to open up communication with me. Oh, obviously I knew that the entire subject of my sexuality was difficult for my parents to deal with; but I thought it all a matter of them just not wanting to talk about things—I never imagined that perhaps they didn’t know the questions to ask… or that they might have been afraid of offending me for asking… or that they might have had just a little bit of worry about the answers
I might supply. So a conversation starter would definitely have helped, and I know it would still help many people. Fortunately, such a thing now exists! This entire “awkward communication” quandary is the motivation behind a great little book entitled Queer Questions Straight Talk by civil rights attorney Abby Dees. This tiny gem (coming in at under 100 pages) is surprisingly full of insights and ideas wrapped around the goal of providing someone completely unfamiliar with lesbian, gay, or bisexual people—or worse, someone with lots of preconceived ideas that are often just silly or ignorant—with a great place to start. (Note: the author does include transgender questions, but due to her own admittedly limited exposure to the T questions, seems to have felt she would be doing a disservice if she represented the book as providing equal coverage to the Ts in LGBT.) The book is arranged into different general topics, such as “Identity” and “Stereotypes.” In each section she provides a summary of the issue and some examples of preconceptions, personal experiences, and suggestions for how to approach the subject at hand. Then, simply enough, she provides questions—questions she solicited and gathered from friends and family and
co-workers and straight people and not-sostraight people. They are literally conversation starters for those who might not know where to begin. Every possible kind of question is in here—from innocent day-to-day questions to the obnoxious WTF? questions that many of us are tired of hearing. Intermixed with the questions are some of the answers people provided her. These example answers are sometimes witty and sometimes profound, but always very real and very spot-on. To all of this, the author adds the following, very important advice for folks on both sides of the conversation: • Only ask the questions you are ready to hear the answers to. • Only answer the questions you feel comfortable answering. • Channel your inner Emily Post (respect the person with whom you are having the conversation). • Remember that the point is not to get everyone to agree, but to understand. So if you know someone you’re pretty sure wants to talk, but who might not know how to safely start the conversation...
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ACCESSline Page 4
Section 1: News & Politics
MAY 2011
College GSAs in Eastern Iowa NOH8 Open Shoot on June 4 by Jake Hewett
4/19/11: Kirkwood Community College — Choosing the right college can be a difficult thing for many young people. When looking at colleges, most high school and transfer students look for schools that will help them further their careers and help them become successful adults. For some students, the safety and comfort a given college provides can be the defining factor when making a decision on where to go. Kids belonging to the LGBT community should know that there are at least ten colleges in Eastern Iowa that have become leaders in making sure everyone, regardless of sexual identity, can find a place to fit in. These schools include The University of Dubuque, Clarke, and Loras College in Dubuque; Wartburg in Waverly; UNI in Cedar Falls; and Kirkwood and Coe College in Cedar Rapids; University of Iowa in Iowa City; and Cornell College in Mount Vernon. Each college is unique in its own way. Each college has a Gay-Straight Alliance to help LGBT students feel extraordinarily welcome and has staff members on hand who are always there to help incoming students adapt to college life. This year, each college held its own drag/ diversity show (the three Dubuque schools held one big one) to help represent the rising gay population in each of these communities. But beyond the shows, the students and faculty at all these schools come together to make college life much easier for their LGBT students. As a member of the Kirkwood Unity GSA here at Kirkwood in Cedar Rapids, I have personally experienced a feeling of acceptance and belonging and have often felt like I’m making a difference on my campus. Through the GSA, I’ve met a variety of people that I wouldn’t have met if the GSA didn’t exist. I can honestly say that I have a transsexual friend, a genderqueer friend, a pansexual friend, and even an asexual friend.
The GSA has let us all come together to fight off homophobia in the school through a number of events. We’ve been pretty active this year; we’ve attended pride events such as the Queer Leadership Summit in November and the Gay-Straight Alliance Conference on April 23rd, both in Ames. Some events we’ve hosted in the last month include the 3rd Annual Drag Show on April 18th and our Kirkwood LGBT Equality Day on April 12th. The LGBT Equality Day invited students to wear purple in support of Kirkwood’s gay population and also educated students on issues of homophobia and self identity with a quick seminar where some of our GSA’s defining members spoke to the college at large. All of these college’s Gay-Straight Alliances are working on making Eastern Iowa a more fun and safe place to be a college student and each one hopefully help said students become successful leaders for future generations of LGBT kids. Through fun events such as the drag shows and leadership rallies, we hope to become a more prevalent group on our respective campuses and obtain the equality and respect we so rightfully deserve. It’s a long road, but as long as LGBT youth are active and strive to achieve greatness, I believe they will be successful. Future students who are looking for a good college to feel accepted, respected, and appreciated and who want to make a difference can’t go wrong with any of these fine institutions.
Iowa celebrates 2nd anniversary of marriage equality
Trish Varnum speaks at Cedar Rapids Unity’s celebration of the two-year anniversary of marriage equality in Iowa at the Piano Lounge in Cedar Rapids on April 3, 2011. Two years ago on April 3rd, in a small room at Hotel Fort Des Moines, six couples and three children waited to find out what the rest of Iowa had already knew—the ban on same sex marriage was ruled unconstitutional. Last month, organizations across Iowa
celebrated the historic occasion. One such event held by Cedar Rapids Unity was a wine tasting at the Piano Lounge in Cedar Rapids. An assortment of wines was provided by Cedar Rapids’ First Avenue Wine House. In attendance at the event were plaintiff couple, Kate and Trish Varnum, Linn County Supervisor Linda Langston, and One Iowa Regional Organizer Liz Bennett. Entertainment was provided by two performers: ACCESSline editor Arthur Breur (who happens to also be a talented pianist and composer); and singer/songwriter/ pianist Aaron Albright, who traveled all the way from Des Moines to perform at the event. Approximately 30 guests joined us to recognize the importance of this milestone to gays and lesbians throughout the state. Cedar Rapids Unity would like to thank the event sponsors and everyone who attended.
NOH8 Campaign Founders Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley will headline the 2011 Matthew Shepard Scholarship Awards Dinner on June 3, 2011. The NOH8 Campaign is a photographic silent protest created in direct response to the passage of Proposition 8 in California. Photos feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 and similar legislation around the world, with “NOH8” painted on one cheek in protest. Two years since its inception, the NOH8 Campaign has grown to over 8,000 faces and continues to grow at an exponential rate. The campaign began with portraits of everyday Californians from all walks of life and soon rose to include politicians, military personnel, newlyweds, law enforcement, artists, celebrities, and many more. The Awards Dinner is Friday, June 3, 2011, at 5:30pm at the Hy-Vee Conference Center in West Des Moines. More information is available at mssdinner.eychanerfoundation.org.
Open Shoot
On SATURDAY, JUNE 4TH the NOH8 Campaign will set up our studio in DOWNTOWN DES MOINES, opening up the opportunity for all the NOH8 supporters in IOWA to join the campaign for the very first time! The shoot is scheduled to begin at 10AM and will continue until at least 1PM. We will do our best to make sure everyone who arrives in line by 1PM will get their photo; even if that means staying late! The line moves quickly, so don’t let the RSVPs intimidate you. :) In addition to the Open Shoot, NOH8 Campaign founders Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley will headline Iowa’s 2011 Matthew Shepard Scholarship Awards Dinner at the Hy-Vee Conference Center in West Des
Moines, Iowa on Friday, June 3rd. Attendees of the Awards Dinner can add a ticket for a solo portrait to their Dinner Registration. People with a ticket can get their photo early from 9AM to 10AM or attend the open shoot. Details about the Awards Dinner are available at mssdinner.eychanerfoundation.org. Anyone that would like to join the NOH8 Campaign is asked to wear a plain white shirt to mat ch the look of the signature NOH8 photos. SOLO PORTRAITS: $40.00 COUPLE & GROUP PORTRAITS: $25.00 per person Celebrity Photographer & NOH8 Co-Founder Adam Bouska will be working around the clock to photograph 5-10 frames for each person that comes through. The final selection he chooses will be retouched and made available to you in about 4-8 weeks through the website: NOH8Campaign.com
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO?
ARRIVE BETWEEN 10 AM AND 1PM at Capital Square (next to Nolan Plaza and the Civic Center) 400 Locust Street, Downtown Des Moines * COME CAMERA READY * * WEAR WHITE * * POSE & MAKE A STATEMENT! * Once you arrive, the NOH8 Campaign will apply the NOH8 temporary tattoo to your face, and we will also supply you with the silver duct tape for the photo. Funds raised by the NOH8 Campaign will be used to continue promoting and raising awareness for marriage equality and anti-discrimination through NOH8’s interactive media campaign. This includes bringing the campaign to other cities around the country, as well as compiling the images for a large-scale media campaign. Under consideration is the expansion of our campaign to other media, including television and radio broadcast, billboards, and magazines. Contributions are also used to cover the daily operations and maintenance necessary to run this rapidly growing campaign. The NOH8 Campaign is an approved 501(c)(3), donations will be tax-deductible up to the amount allowable by law.
MAY 2011
Section 1: News & Politics
ACCESSline Page 5
US NEWS news analysis by Rex Wockner Media seek intervention in Prop 8 case
The media at the oral arguments in the Prop 8 federal case last December at the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco. Photo by Rex Wockner The media are seeking intervention in the Proposition 8 case to urge the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to release the 13 days of video from the U.S. District Court case in which Prop 8 was declared unconstitutional. The trial was recorded to help Judge Vaughn Walker write his decision, and attorneys also played back snippets of the trial at later points in the trial. Walker seemingly “sealed” the recording from other uses. In recent public talks about cameras in the courtroom, however, Walker, who retired from the bench in February, has played a brief clip from the video, which led to a new flareup about the recordings. A copy of the video was given to Walker on a disk drive along with his other material when he retired. The gay side now wants the recordings made public, the other side wants them to stay sealed and for Walker and the parties to the case to turn over any copies—and now a group of media companies has asked the 9th Circuit to make the recordings public. The Los Angeles Times, McClatchy Co., CNN, In Session (Court TV), The New York Times, Fox News, NBC News, Hearst Corp., Dow Jones & Co., The Associated Press and KQED say that the public and the media have a First Amendment right of access to court records and proceedings, and seem to suggest that the parties who want the Prop 8 recordings to remain private have failed to meet “their heavy burden to justify that sealing.” Walker’s strikedown of Prop 8, which amended the state constitution in 2008 to re-ban same-sex marriage, is on appeal to the 9th Circuit.
The case has been delayed because the people who were sued—including California’s governor and attorney general—have no interest in defending Prop 8. As a result, the people who put Prop 8 on the ballot have intervened in the case to defend it, but it’s unclear at this time if they have legal “standing” to defend the amendment in federal court. The 9th Circuit recently asked the California Supreme Court for its opinion on the “standing” question. The California court is not expected to answer until late this year at the soonest.
Maine marriage-battle leader thought ads contained hyperbole
Dueling doorhangers in the 2009 Maine marriage fight. Photo by Rex Wockner The man who led the successful 2009 campaign to effect a voter veto of Maine’s law that legalized same-sex marriage thought the campaign’s ads contained hyperbole. The law passed the Maine Legislature and was signed by the governor but was put on hold until the election. Voters then repealed it by 53 to 47 percent in November 2009. In the upcoming documentary “Question One,” clips of which have been released online, Marc Mutty is shown during the campaign saying: “(W)e use a lot of hyperbole, and I think that’s always dangerous. You know, we say things like ‘Teachers will be forced to.’ Well, that’s not a completely accurate statement and we all know it isn’t, you know? … Let’s look back at our ads and see what we say. And I think we use hyperbole to a point where, you know, it’s like, Geez.” Video: tinyurl.com/hyp1ad. Mutty also says: “This (campaign) has been awful. I hate it. … All we can hope for is
that people heal, that I heal, that we all heal.” Video: tinyurl.com/q1trai.
Obama seems to say work on marriage is not finished
children and youth. “Child welfare experts agree that adoptive parents should be judged by their character and their ability to raise a child, not on their marital status or sexual orientation,” said HRC Family Project Director Ellen Kahn. “It’s shameful that politics trumps the needs of children.”
Speaking at a Democratic National Committee event April 20 in San Francisco, President Barack Obama seemed to say that his administration’s work on gay marriage is not finished. Two recurring LGBT-rights measures The president was talking about admin- were introduced in the U.S. Senate and House istration accomplishments and added, “And of Representatives in April—the Employyet our work is not finished.” Someone in the ment Non-Discrimination Act and the Uniting audience then shouted American Families Act. “gay marriage.” Obama ENDA would ban Obama: “We put two paused, made a facial discrimination on the wise women on the Supreme basis of sexual orientaexpression and hand gesture that seemed to Court, including the first tion and gender identity say “for example,” and Latina Supreme Court justice. in workplaces that have then repeated, “Our more employees. (Applause.) And we rolled 15 orUAFA work is not finished.” would give Here’s the White House’s back ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ so U.S. citizens and permatranscript: that everybody can serve their nent residents the right Obama: “We put sponsor a same-sex country regardless of who to two wise women on permanent partner the Supreme Court, they love. (Applause.) And for U.S. residence—a including the first Latina then we dealt with pirates— right that is available to Supreme Court justice. binational (laughter)—and a pandemic. opposite-sex (Applause.) And we spouses. rolled back ‘don’t ask, You forgot about that. An “Thousands of don’t tell,’ so that oil spill. We’ve been pretty committed same-sex everybody can serve are needlessbusy. And yet our work is not couples their country regardly suffering because less of who they love. finished. It is going --” of unequal treatment (Applause.) And then Audience member: “Gay under our immigrawe dealt with pirates— tion laws, and this is marriage.” (laughter)—and a an outrage,” U.S. Rep. Obama: “Our work is not Jerrold Nadler, D-N.Y., pandemic. You forgot about that. An oil spill. finished…” (Applause.) said in announcing We’ve been pretty busy. UAFA’s introduction. And yet our work is not finished. It is going Human Rights Campaign President Joe --” Solmonese said: “Our nation’s discriminatory Audience member: “Gay marriage.” immigration laws force binational same-sex Obama: “Our work is not finished. families to decide between breaking up or (Applause.) It is going to take—it is going to living in exile. No American family should take more than a couple of years. It is going face this decision.” to take more than one term for us to finish According to the National Gay and everything that we need to do. (Applause.)” Lesbian Task Force, at least 25 nations allow Video: tinyurl.com/wrkfin. residents to sponsor same-sex permanent partners for legal immigration, including Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Iceland, Israel, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland and A bill banning employment discrimi- the United Kingdom. nation based on gender identity cleared ENDA and UAFA may face a tough road Hawaii’s Legislature April 19. Transgender in Congress, in part because Republicans people already were protected in the areas of control the House of Representatives. housing and public accommodations. Laws similar to ENDA exist in 21 states Gov. Neil Abercrombie is expected to sign and Washington, D.C., for sexual orientathe bill. Twelve other states and the District tion and in 12 states and D.C. for gender of Columbia protect transgender people from identity. discrimination.
Gay bills introduced
Hawaii protects transgenders
AZ governor signs antigay-adoption bill
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed a bill April 18 that requires public and private adoption agencies to give primary consideration to placement with a married man and woman unless other factors make it not in a child’s best interest. The Human Rights Campaign denounced the new law, calling it a “major defeat” for
Delaware Legislature passes civil-union bill, governor to sign
Delaware’s Senate and House of Representatives passed a civil-union bill April 7 and April 14 respectively. The Senate vote was 13-6. The House vote was 25-16. The measure grants same-sex couples the state-level rights, benefits and obligations of marriage, and recognizes same-
TTUS NEWS continued page 10
ACCESSline Page 6
Section 1: News & Politics
World News news analysis by Rex Wockner Groups lobby Obama to attend UN AIDS meeting
Fifty global health, human rights and religious organizations have called on President Barack Obama to attend a United Nations High-Level Meeting on AIDS in June in New York City. At the gathering, member countries are expected to commit to new actions to combat AIDS on a global scale. “Your attendance will send a bold message that the United States commitment to the global AIDS response remains steadfast and will help to leverage high-level representation from other governments to develop a real plan for the next phase of the response,” the groups said in a letter to Obama. Signers included AIDS Foundation of Chicago, AIDS Project Los Angeles, American Jewish World Service, American Social Health Association, Catholics for Choice, Center for Reproductive Rights, Gay Men’s Health Crisis, Global Forum on MSM and HIV, HealthGAP, HIV Law Project, National Association of People with AIDS, National Minority AIDS Council, SisterLove in South Africa, Treatment Action Group, and many other groups.
Montenegro government supports pride parade
Montenegro’s government is supporting the nation’s first gay pride parade, scheduled for May 31. Deputy Prime Minister Dusko Markovic said in a meeting with activists that the march has “full institutional support.” In a statement posted at gov.me, the government said, “By supporting what is to be the first LGBT rally ever staged in Montenegro … the Government demonstrates its commitment to European values of tolerance, equality and social inclusion.” The Podgorica police chief also attended the meeting and, according to the statement, “said that the law enforcement authorities will make every effort to ensure full safety of participants and maintain public order during the rally.”
Two government officials have joined the parade’s steering committee “to help with the logistics for the event,” the statement said. Montenegro was part of the former Yugoslavia.
LGBT people stage Day of Silence ‘flash mob’ in St. Petersburg
Around 50 people from the Russian LGBT group Coming Out took part in a public Day of Silence action April 16 in St. Petersburg. Photo courtesy of Coming Out Around 50 people from the Russian LGBT group Coming Out took part in a public Day of Silence action April 16 in St. Petersburg. Organizers said they were protesting “against the silencing of discrimination, humiliation and violence faced by LGBT people and their allies.” They put posters on university bulletin boards and faxed information to government officials, university deans and media outlets on April 15. Then they taped their mouths shut and staged a “flash mob” the next day on the main boulevard Nevsky Prospect, distributing around 1,000 leaflets. “The reaction of most people during the campaign was positive to the extent that some passersby even joined the flash mob,” the group said. “A minor run-in with the police ended on a friendly note, with the police and the participants taking photos of each other.” There are videos at youtube.com/user/ ComingOutSPb.
Activists urge Hungarian president to veto new constitution Hungary’s Parliament approved a new constitution April 18 that defines marriage as between a man and a woman, and omits sexual orientation from an anti-discrimination provision’s list of protected traits. The Hungarian LGBT Alliance called on President Pál Schmitt “not to sign the new Constitution into law, and to give a new opportunity to the Parliament to adopt a truly modern, European constitution … instead of a political pamphlet motivated by homophobic prejudices.” The board co-chair of the European Region of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association, Martin K.I. Christensen, called on European Union institutions “to interfere with what appears to be a conscious move against principles of equality and nondiscrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation enshrined in the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights and the EU freedom of movement directive.”
Dutch university gives transgender man new diploma
MAY 2011
Colombian court gives gay couples more rights Colombia’s Constitutional Court on April 13 extended property inheritance rights to unmarried and same-sex couples by revising Civil Code articles that limited such rights to married couples. The court said its decision was not meant to alter the nation’s concept of family as the union of a man and a woman for purposes of procreation.
Same-sex marriage bill introduced in Uruguay
Buoyed by the legalization of same-sex marriage in next-door Argentina, activists in Uruguay have arranged the introduction in Parliament of a bill to legalize same-sex marriage. The measure was introduced by a member of the ruling Frente Amplio (Broad Front) coalition, Deputy Sebastián Sabini of the People’s Participation Movement party. “We are optimistic about the bill being voted into law, since the Frente Amplio has the majority needed to do so,” said Álvaro Queiruga of the activist group Black Sheep Collective. “Also, a few opposition MPs have stated they are in favor of the bill.”
Irish partnerships begin
The president of the executive board of the University of Amsterdam, Karel van der Toorn (right), presented transgender activist and alumnus Justus Eisfeld with a new diploma reflecting his correct gender April 6 in New York City. Photo by Richard Koek The president of the executive board of the University of Amsterdam, Karel van der Toorn, presented transgender activist and alumnus Justus Eisfeld with a new diploma reflecting his correct gender April 6 in New York City. Van der Toorn was in New York, where Eisfeld works for Global Action for Trans Equality, on a business trip. Eisfeld underwent gender transition after graduation from the university. Approval to issue the revised diploma came in November via a ruling from the Dutch Equal Treatment Commission. The decision also applies to other Dutch transgender people.
Gay and lesbian couples began entering into civil partnerships in Ireland April 5. The law took effect Jan. 1, but requires couples to give three months’ notice prior to tying the knot before a registrar. Civil partners receive marriage rights and obligations in matters such as taxes, pensions, property, tenancy, inheritance, alimony, immigration and social benefits. To end a partnership, a couple must go before a court and prove they’ve not lived together for two of the last three years. The law also recognizes foreign samesex unions and provides some rights for unregistered couples who have lived together for at least five years. Justice Minister Dermot Ahern called the law “one of the most important pieces of civil rights legislation to be enacted since independence.”
Liechtenstein OKs registered partnerships
Liechtenstein’s Parliament has passed a registered-partnership law that will take effect in September. The tiny European nation is between Switzerland and Austria. All political parties supported the law, which could be, but probably will not be, subjected to a voter referendum, activist groups said. Same-sex couples registered under the law will have the same rights as married people except in areas such as secondparent adoption, artificial insemination and surrogacy, according to the European Region of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association. Assistance: Bill Kelley
MAY 2011
Section 1: News & Politics
ACCESSline Page 7
Remarkable by Jonathan Wilson The Sanctity of Our Marriages
against it (the failure of Vander Plaats and his ilk to master fifth-grade civics to the contrary notwithstanding). You could kick every participating Justice off the Court and it Perhaps it will cut down a bit on the wouldn’t reverse the Varnum decision. That phone calls if I discuss in this column the sanc- would require another case, and that would tity of same-gender marriages performed be years away. during the two or so years that they have As a consequence of the Varnum decibeen legal. The backlash—punctuated by the sion, same-gender citizens of Iowa and other non-retention of three Iowa Supreme Court states have flocked to Iowa courthouses and Justices who participated churches to get legally in the unanimous deciFolks who are afraid of hitched. More power to sion that concluded the Not surprisingly, water don’t get agitated until them. constitutional guarantee detractors have put up of equal protection actu- they find themselves in the quite a fuss. Defining ally means equal—has path of a rising tide. Then they sexual morality as that generated considerable occurs within the get quite vocal, but nothing which angst among those who bounds of heterosexual thought the decision was they do has any impact on the matrimony, and clingbinding and final. tide. We are seeing, as are our ing to the myth that Here’s the fact: the people are uniquely detractors, the crest of a wave gay decision was binding promiscuous among and is final. The deci- of history in favor of making human beings, they sion made same-gender the gay thing a non-issue. have resisted the law marriage the law of the change and cast about land in the state of Iowa. The non-retention for avenues to un-do it. of three participating Justices doesn’t change There are theoretical ways that can be that. The decision was no less binding accomplished. The most obvious, short-term because it was called an “opinion;” that’s approach would be to ignore the fact that this what all such decisions of the Iowa Supreme will ultimately be decided by the US Supreme Court are called. Such decisions are neither Court interpreting the US Constitution, and advisory nor casual. They do not require the to amend the Iowa Constitution to provide Legislature to do anything. The Iowa Code that—in the future—“marriage” must be does state the law, but subject to the decisions limited to the proverbial one-man and oneof the Iowa Supreme Court regarding consti- woman. That approach first requires the tutionality. And that’s as it should be. concurrence of both houses of the Iowa LegisIf any statute—such as the one dating lature two years in a row. Thanks to Senator from 1998 that reserved the rights and Gronstal and the Democratic-controlled Iowa privileges of marriage for straight couples to Senate, that’s not going to happen this year, abuse—is declared a denial of equal protec- so the first of the required two years couldn’t tion by the Iowa Supreme Court, that’s that. possibly happen until next year, the second There’s no appeal to the US Supreme Court, in the following year, and a ballot initiative there’s nothing a disgruntled Legislature put on the ballot not until 2013. That’s the can do to un-do it, there’s nothing at all a “worst case” scenario. single house of the Legislature can do, and Put that up against the fact that the most no executive order of a Governor will prevail recent Iowa Poll found that the majority of
Iowans—fair-minded as they are—already favor gay marriage. Give public opinion three more years of gay marriages not having a discernable, adverse impact on straight marriages or the welfare of our state, and our detractors definitely will have their work cut out for them. Pretending for a moment that the worst case scenario were to materialize—the proposition to write discrimination against law-abiding, tax-paying, gay citizens as an exception to the Equal Protection Clause were to be put on the ballot, and it were to be adopted—what then for those legally married during the five years that same-gender marriage would then have been legal? In my professional opinion, nothing would change for those marriages. They would remain legal and just as sacred as they were or weren’t before such a misguided, short-sighted, and mean-spirited constitutional amendment. While such an opinion is admittedly somewhat speculative, the legal principle has been previously broached in California regarding gay marriages performed after the California Supreme Court legalized them and the ignorant passed Proposition 8 to amend the California constitution. While the battle rages over that decision, virtually no one is suggesting that the intervening marriages will be impacted by the outcome. And regarding the probable outcome, assuming that the Prop 8 case gets to the US Supreme Court on its merits, the prognosis remains remarkably positive. Remember, it was a conservative US Supreme Court that surprised me and many others during the Clinton Administration by striking down Colorado’s [state constitutional] Amendment 2 that had sought to discriminate against the civil rights of LGBT citizens. Folks who are afraid of water don’t get agitated until they find themselves in the path of a rising tide. Then they get quite vocal, but nothing they do has any impact on the
Early in April, Louis Marinelli— founder of the anti-gayProject Marriage and a staffer at the National Organization for Marriage (NOM)—decided to hack his own website. That’s right, Marinelli deleted the entire NOM Facebook page, leaving some 290,000 ‘fans’ dangerously free from anti-gay propaganda (note:. Why would Marinelli do such a thing? In a statement explaining the purge, and his resignation from NOM he says that “after several months of internal conflict” he came to the conclusion “I do in fact support marriage equality.” This change of heart, according to Marinelli’s blog “Two Cents and a Couple of Copeks”, began last summer while on NOM’s 2010 summer of Marriage tour. Counter-protesters in Atlanta, Georgia “became real people for me”. Yes, you heard that right. His great epiphany was that LGBT folks are in fact people; real people with real lives, lives that he was hurting. As the tour wrapped up, Marinelli began to communicate with Marriage Equality supporters on line and on Facebook. As his personal views on marriage
marriage equality. The first is simple humanity. Those who oppose gay marriage have often never met an openly gay couple. Realizing this struggle was not an idealogical struggle, but real human struggle changed the whole nature of the debate for Marinelli. Secondly supporters for marriage equality NOM’s new Facebook page, only up to 2,949 “likes” as of May 1. were willing to open a dialogue with him, willing to discuss the issue with applause. He has just done one of the most him in an open and non threatening way. courageous and difficult things any human Finally those people emphasized civil can do. He has admitted that he was wrong. marriage, which does not threaten the Thank you, Mr. Marinelli. religious right, or force them to have gay marriages in their church. Sources: Whatever comes next I think we http://louisjmarinelli.com/ should first all give Mr. Marinelli a round of http://bit.ly/iYRuTr
Jonathan Wilson is an attorney at the Davis Brown Law Firm in Des Moines, and chairs the First Friday Breakfast Club (ffbciowa.org), an educational, non-profit corporation for gay men in Iowa who gather on the first Friday of every month to provide mutual support, to be educated on community affairs, and to further educate community opinion leaders with more positive images of gay men. It is the largest breakfast club in the state of Iowa. He can be contacted at JonathanWilson@ DavisBrownLaw.com or 515-288-2500.
tide. We are seeing, as are our detractors, the crest of a wave of history in favor of making the gay thing a non-issue. In the lifetime of the Baby Boomer Generation, the current struggle is going to be old news—so “last century.” If you’re out and don’t believe me, call home. Almost no matter who answers the phone—mom, dad, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, niece, nephew, whomever—they’re straight and allies, every one. We live in a representative democracy; you do the math. If you want to preserve your marriage, spend less time worrying about what the government will or won’t do and more time working on your marriage.
NOM hacks its own Facebook Page by Rachel Eliason began to change he looked back at the Facebook page he had helped to build and realized “I was surrounded by hateful people”. In his blog Marinelli is quick to point out that he still supports the right of Catholics and other Christian denominations to keep “holy matrimony” between one man and one woman, as faith dictates. However he says “that has nothing to do with civil marriage.” Marinelli’s defection from the ranks of NOM has the blogosphere buzzing. LGBT websites are ecstatic with this proof that some people at least can change. NOM is in full damage control mode as Marinelli’s new blog provides greater insight into the ‘propaganda team’ (Marinelli’s words not mine). Supporters and detractors alike have flooded his site. The main post alone had so many comments that it nearly crashed my web browser twice before I could get it to load properly. It remains to be seen if this will be a singular event, or if cracks are starting show in the anti-gay marriage front. His story does, however, clearly highlight three effective strategies in our fight for
ACCESSline Page 8
Section 1: News & Politics
MAY 2011
Creep of the Week by D’Anne Witkowski Bob Vander Plaats
That’s why I think we need to speak the truth the whole thing’s a joke. ness of our force at risk at a time our nation is once in a while.” Unfortunately Wilson and his ilk aren’t in three wars with worldwide instability.” Okay. First of all, I don’t know what the kidding. They are super worked up about And by “back on track” he means kicking New York Health Department ad he’s refer- this. It’s all too much, too soon, too hot, and homos out, not letting them in. Because trainring to, but I have no doubt that the NYHD and too fast. ing people and then deciding to give them all reputable health departments nationwide Wilson said in a statement of his opening the boot just because they’re gay doesn’t base their health warnings on information remarks at the hearing, “I was troubled by undermine combat readiness at all. gleaned from anti-gay fringe groups like the process employed to repeal the law the Family Leader. That just makes sense. known as ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ this past Secondly, I don’t know fall. I feel the repeal In his eyes all gay people was rushed through what Vander Plaats Have you punched a gay middle-schoolmeans by “the Journal are the same: sick, depraved the Congress without er for Christ today? Well, you’d better do it of Medicine,” because review and fast, because Barack Obama is trying to take sex-havers with no regard adequate there are several. consideration of the full this God-given duty and religious right away Here’s something I for their health or the heath extent of the implica- from you. do know: homosexual- of their partners. tions of repeal.” It’s no secret that LGBT students get ity is not a public health Also, the only bullied at school. In fact, it’s no secret that threat. The “homosexual lifestyle” that people who feel this process was rushed kids who get bullied at school are often Vander Plaats refers to is not really a thing. are people who weren’t impacted by DADT accused of being LGBT, even if they aren’t. See, in his eyes all gay people are the same: and haven’t been paying attention for the And while a lot of folks think that all of this sick, depraved sex-havers with no regard for last, oh, decades. The military has a long and bullying is really not conducive to learning, their health or the heath of their partners. undistinguished history of discharging gays others, like the Liberty Council’s Matt Barber, Vander Plaats takes the behavior of the most and lesbians, ruining their careers and, in apparently thinks it’s just a trial by fire to promiscuous, most reckless gay people and numerous cases, their lives. If anything, the determine who is righteous. deems that the “homosexual lifestyle.” It’s as United States took far too long to address As you may know, the White House if I were to point at Charlie Sheen and claim this injustice. recently held an anti-bullying summit which that he was the epitome of the “heterosexual And just what are those implications provoked outrage amongst the anti-gay right. lifestyle” (which, of course, he is). Wilson feels have not been adequately On his Faith and Freedom radio program, But looking at individual people, which reviewed and considered? The fact is, the Barber likened anti-bullying programs to is what gay people are, is a lot of work. Much implications are hardly as dire as those in a “Trojan horse,” saying that all of this talk easier to lump them all together and write favor of DADT would about “safe schools” them off as a bunch of sex lepers. like you to believe. You Anti-bullying programs was really code for a As far as I can tell, the real health see, the implications “homosexual activist concern for Vander Plaats is that gays make are only dire if you are unfair to Christians. political indoctrination him sick. think that homos are Forcing Christians to not bully agenda and a curricusex-crazed lunatics with their gay and lesbian class- lum of pro-homosexual depraved morals and no propaganda.” social skills who can’t mates is unChristitutional, or That’s right, folks. help themselves around whatever. Anti-bullying = pro-gay. people of the same sex. And not just supporting Gays don’t join the military to hook up with gay students, but mandating homosexuality. guys. There are websites for that. You’ve got two choices: a school where kids I doubt any gay person has ever enlisted are total violent a--holes to each other or a with fantasies of showering with groups of peaceful school where everyone’s gay. naked muscle men and traveling “Pricilla, The fact is, anti-bullying programs are Queen of the Desert” style through exotic unfair to Christians. Forcing Christians to Middle East locations. In reality, it’s more like not bully their gay and lesbian classmates is being packed into Humvees with sweaty guys unChristitutional, or whatever. who haven’t showered or changed their socks “We have a situation that this creates in a week and watching fellow soldiers take where those who they accuse of being the dumps in irrigation ditches alongside roads bullies become the bullied,” Barber laments. in the desert. You know, the sexy stuff. “People with traditional values, Christians, To Wilson, letting gays serve is a tragic kids who happen to believe what every major result of political maneuvering. “I believe world religion, thousands of years of history the lame duck session was undemocratic in and uncompromising human biology hold to that dozens of defeated Congressmembers be true, that sexual behavior is appropriate Oh, Joe Wilson, shut up. adopted a law with significant consequence,” within the bonds of marriage between a man I’m sorry. That was childish. Then again, he said. “It was an insult to the principles of and a woman.” that’s apparently the level of discourse representative democracy.” Barber is, I think, confused about what Wilson operates on. He is, after all, the guy Last time I checked, it was still within it means to be bullied. No one is saying that who shouted, “You lie!” during the president’s the rights of Congressmembers to pass kids can’t believe what they want about gays. address to Congress two years ago and legislation while still in office. And if, as polls But it shouldn’t be acceptable to make a gay became an a--hole folk hero to anti-Obama showed, 67 percent of Americans favored a kid’s life a living hell just because your pastor nuts everywhere. repeal, that sounds like democracy at work to says gays are evil. And now he’s whining and stomping his me. Of course, maybe Wilson is of the belief Shawn Akers, Barber’s co-host, points feet over the repeal of the anti-gay military that majority rule should only apply when out that if you really wanted to stop bullying policy “Don’t Ask, Don’t voting to deny rights to you’d work to “grow Judeo-Christian ethic.” Tell.” Letting gay people “Even if you disagreed with someone’s Gays don’t join the military gays and lesbians. serve in the military “We must get the lifestyle, the Judeo-Christian ethic would be without having to lie to hook up with guys. There are process for considering the first to tell you you’re not going to bully, about and hide who websites for that. the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, you’re not going to beat up, you’re not going they are is too much Don’t Tell’ back on track to abuse anybody,” Akers says. for folks like Wilson and his fellow House and ensure that our military is truly prepared Ah, so the problem is that kids aren’t Republicans who are supporting a bill to to allow the open service of gays and lesbi- Christian enough. It couldn’t have anything stop the repeal. ans,” Wilson continued. “We must ensure to do with so-called Christian groups like, say, The House Arms Services personnel that we do not make a mistake by allowing the Liberty Council, portraying LGBT people subcommittee held a hearing about repealing the repeal to move ahead when there is any as sick and damaged that contributes to the the repeal on April 1, which is fitting since possibility that it will put the combat readiTTCREEPS continued page 10
Matt Barber
A common talking point of anti-gay activists is that being gay is a public health risk. Whether trying to derail anti-discrimination legislation, protesting against letting gays marry each other, or trying to shut down a GSA at a local high school, the argument that gays are a bunch of sickos in the most literal sense is not far behind. Because if gays can be portrayed as a bunch of perverts spreading their homo germs everywhere, that’s just one more way to dehumanize them. Enter Bob Vander Plaats of the Iowa Family Leader, a longtime foe of LGBT people, who is wrapping up a four month long Capturing Momentum Tour, a 99 county trek across Iowa to raise hackles of conservative voters. The “momentum” stems from the anti-gay right’s “successful” 2010 ousting of Iowa Supreme Court justices who voted in favor of marriage equality. Vander Plaats and his ilk are hoping to ride that momentum all the way to dismantling marriage equality in the state. And part of how Vander Plaats plans to do that is by playing the “public health risk” card. This isn’t a surprise coming from a man who has likened homosexuality to polygamy and incest, suggesting that if we let gay people marry we’ll have to open up marriage to a “dad that wants to marry his son” and a “bisexual [that] wants to marry a man and a woman.” But that doesn’t mean he should get a pass to paint all gay people with a wide, diseased brush stroke. At a March 24 tour stop, ThinkProgress asked Vander Plaats to clarify the Iowa Family Leader’s position on the health risks of homosexuality. His answer was unambiguous: “It is a public health risk.” But hey, he says, it’s not the Family Leader that is making that claim, it’s the New York Health Department. “They’ve put out an ad basically highlighting all the dangers of the homosexual lifestyle, that you’re this many times more (likely) to get this particular disease or this many times more (likely) to get this other type of disease. Now, they conclude with ‘practice safe sex.’ But they’re almost taking our talking points. Because anybody, the Journal of Medicine will back us up on this, that this is a risky lifestyle, a health risk lifestyle. If we’re teaching the kids, ‘don’t smoke, because that’s a risky health style,’ the same can be true of the homosexual lifestyle.
Joe Wilson
MAY 2011
Section 1: News & Politics
ACCESSline Page 9
Minor Details: Re-Using the Religious Right-Wing for 2012
by Bob Minor
their religious vision at heart. It’s a scam, certainly, as Thomas Frank pointed out in Peter Montgomery, a senior fellow at 2004 in What’s the Matter with Kansas: How the People for the American Way Foun- Conservatives Won the Heart of America. dation, is closely following the current We’re not talking about stupid or courting of the religious right-wing by the powerless people when we analyze the Koch-funded astroturf group, Americans religious right-wing. It’s just, frankly, for Prosperity. The Koch brothers see to that they’re easy marks who desperately it through this grassroots Tea Party front needed this well-honed scam to be true group that their anti-workers agenda back then as they need it to be now. moves forward by provoking its very “Right-wing Christians were ripe for victims to cover for them. the picking by economic conservatives who Meanwhile, fresh from the Jack may or may not have agreed with rightAbramoff bribery scandal, Ralph Reed is wing Christian doctrines but embraced this back to promote his Faith and Freedom new political strategy that could further Coalition, a partnership of the religious the high of righteousness upon which right-wing and the ostensibly secular Tea right-wing believers were dependent.” Party for a get-out-the(When Religion Is an We can expect the media to Addiction, 2007) vote operation aimed at the 2012 elections. trot out the idea that “values Back then the NeoReed is again promising Conservative gang voters” are the key to the next that included Newt to turn out the religious right-wing vote for the election. It’s a trope promoted Gingrich, Dick Cheney, GOP. by the right-wing itself that Donald Rumsfeld, and In March, Reed’s McCain had few was endlessly repeated by John organization hosted the religious beliefs in over-hyped Iowa gather- corporate media’s analysis of common with them, ing of GOP presidential the 2000 and 2004 elections and none that would contenders. And Tim central to conserin the same way they now be Phillips, the president vative evangelical of Koch’s Americans continually over-inflate the altar calls. But their for Prosperity, was a threat of tea-partiers. message discipline panelist for the religious told them what to say, right’s “Awakening Conference” in April at what not to say, and how to manipulate Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University. familiar right-wing religious symbols. We can expect the media to trot out They fed “W” just enough religious the idea that “values voters” are the key language, and used the right images, to to the next election. It’s a trope promoted allure the religious right-wing into thinking by the right-wing itself that was endlessly Bush was of their ilk. And no matter how repeated by corporate media’s analysis of Bush let them down, they so needed to see the 2000 and 2004 elections in the same him as a good Christian, that they could not way they now continually over-inflate the be fact-based. threat of tea-partiers. Topeka’s notorious hate-preacher Using the religious right-wing by Fred Phelps is just the extreme case of economic conservatives to do their bidding this broader religious right-wing need. in creating oligarchy is nothing new. And To get attention and justification for his it’s very easy to do, given the insecurities, otherwise forgettable, insignificant little fears, and victimhood promoted by right- crew of family members, which he can no wing religious leaders and teachings. longer get from the local media, he must As we watched it come to a head during conceive of ever more obnoxious, more the Bush era, members of the religious attention-getting protests. right-wing are eminently usable targets And Phelps gets his attention needs for those who can convince them they have filled when he does. Ask the nobody Florida
preacher who last September threatened to burn a Q’uran—and then in March after the month of media attention died down, did so—how he gets his attention needs met. FOX continues to know how to take advantage of the religious right-wing’s need for attention and affirmation. Giving them undo publicity and heft, its thoroughly secular, or at best loosely Christian, pundits like Bill O’Reilly find cover for FOX personalities’ transgressions, sexual exploits, and off-color language. There’s nothing like a come-to-Jesus, story for them. And Newt is doing his best to exploit their need for a savior alongside his third wife, arguing in books strategically named Rediscovering God in America that he’s an expert at real evangelicalism—or is it Catholicism (whatever works)? There’s more neediness than ever among the religious right-wing after the election of the personification of its enemy in 2008. The fact that a March Harris poll found 14% of Americans (24% of Republicans) agreeing that Obama might be the anti-Christ, fits with estimates of the percentage of Americans who are authoritative personalities and use religion addictively. Anti-Christ or Alien symbolism reinforces the radical religious right-wing’s crusade to defeat Obama at all costs and why the secular economic conservatives will be able to use the religious right-wing again. David Koch and his brother aren’t known for their religiosity. Neither is Grover Norquist, the radical economic conservative who wants the federal government small enough to drown in a bathtub, who joined the board of the right-wing gay Republicans called GOProud, and whose group received $60,000 from a Charles Koch-headed foundation. But Norquist was also was on an Awakening Conference panel to promote conservatives doing the legwork for “limited government.” So, no matter what we’d rather think about these sincere religious people, to make a difference we’re going to have to remember that we are dealing with a pathology that feeds their use of religion.
by David Twombley
but he admitted he is beginning to change his beliefs on the subject. He bases his opposition to marriage equality on his very conservative religious beliefs; my insistence that this is a civil matter, not a religious one, appeared to fall on deaf ears. We talked for nearly 45 minutes. Did I expect a sudden epiphany on his part? Of course not. I do feel, though, that putting a human face on this issue, and reconnecting with me as a former teacher and friend when he was growing up, was incredibly important. One of the most wonderful things for me in my coming out has been the fact that I can be honest about who I am, how many God made me -- for whatever reason -- and that I AM still the "David Twombley" he knew. Is Joel bigoted on this issue? Of course he is. Is he a "bad person"? Of course he is not.
Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org. We’re not just talking to people with an intellectual misunderstanding. This means we have to accept that we are talking about, and to, people who are getting psychological needs met through political affirmation of their religious beliefs. We have to understand that this comes from a deep down unbelief, a fear that their god (and so they) might lose. It explains why both the political and religious right will lie, cheat and, yes, steal to save the world from the Anti-Christ, whether they see that as Obama or not. And it means our task is to continue to model what it is like to believe in progressive values such as equality, compassion, and community, but not enable their psychosis. Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org.
TALKING TO LEGISLATORS: Changing one heart and mind at a time Long before I became a plaintiff in the Varnum case, I was an instrumental music teacher for 37 years, mostly in Osceola, until my "retirement" in 2000. During my career, I had the opportunity to instruct and work with many students. As many teachers can attest, a few students in my experience stand out, for many reasons. One such student was Joel Fry, who still lives in Osceola. I had the pleasure of working with him from his seventh-grade year until his graduation from Clarke Community High School. Joel was a bright, talented, funny and caring individual, far more mature than the average junior high student, and I was privileged to have worked with him. Last fall, Joel was elected as a Republican to the Iowa House of Representatives for the first time. In that capacity, he was
one of those who voted to start the process of amending Iowa's constitution to prohibit same-gender marriage as well as civil unions. I sent him an email, asking if we could meet and discuss his position on this matter, and he agreed. Joel was gracious, and seemed sincere in his greeting. We had a nice "catch up" with each other and he told me again how much I meant to him as his band teacher. He also said he knew I was the same person he had so respected, and how torn he was when I came out to him nearly 10 years ago, because he couldn't understand why I had "chosen that path." At this point we turned to a more serious discussion of the whole issue. I told him, of course, that I no more chose my orientation than my eye color. His response was that whether or not a person is born gay or "chooses" it is an unresolved discussion,
Joel and his wife have four young children. I asked him how he would feel if one of them were gay. He had no response, I am sure he thinks their "Christian" upbringing will prevent this -- now he knows it didn't work for me. We all have the power to be who we are, to live our lives with dignity and honor, regardless of sexual orientation. We can make a difference by being honest with ourselves and with all others with whom we come in contact. History and enlightenment are on our side; we have to continue the "good fight" at every opportunity, and the truth will set us free. David Twombley and his spouse Larry Hoch were plaintiffs in the Varnum v. Brien court case that paved the way for marriage equality in Iowa. They continue to be instrumental in the fight to protect the freedom to marry in Iowa.
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CREEPS bullying against them. So when a Christian kid gets the urge to beat up one of these disgusting queers, Judeo-Christian ethic steps in and says, “You leave that godless piece of trash alone,” and everything’s fine. Most enlightening was Barber’s suicide prevention strategy. He says that sexually active teens, gay and straight, are more likely to commit suicide than their chaste peers. “We’ve had this spate of kids who have committed suicide and some of them it has been apparently because they have been bullied. A handful have actually also been kids who self identified as gay or lesbian,” Barber says. “Kids who are engaging in homosexual behavior, I think often look inward and know that what they are doing is unnatural, is wrong, is immoral, and so they become depressed and the instances of suicide can rise there as well.” So Barber, spinning some of that JudeoChristian ethic magic, is essentially arguing that since gay kids are twisted and wrong, it’s no wonder they want to off themselves. If anything, bullies are really just doing gay kids a favor. “What Obama should be teaching rather than promoting the LGBT agenda that pushes pre-marital sexual activity, be it homosexual or heterosexual,” Barber continues, “is advocating on behalf of abstinence education and encouraging kids to remain pure until marriage. That is the best way to prevent kids who are engaged in sexual behavior from committing suicide.” Abstinence education as suicide prevention tool. Very novel. Very sure-to-work.
Section 1: News & Politics What could go wrong? Keep in mind that gay people, for the most part, can’t get married. Which means there’s no room in Barber’s equation for them. And that’s exactly how he wants it. Anti-bullying programs are a problem precisely because they acknowledge that gay kids exist. And if gay kids no longer have to hide in the shadows, it’ll be a lot harder to convince them that they’re horrible and damaged. And the more gay kids who feel like they actually matter, the harder it’s going to be for Barber and his ilk to lie about who and what they are, which is, of course, the “(anti-gay) activist political indoctrination agenda.”
William Donohue
Are all Catholic priests child molesters? No, of course not. Are some Catholic priests child molesters? Yes, indeed. But you know what? There are child molesters in schools and in other religious organizations and stuff, so we should really just forget the whole thing with the priests and leave them alone already. Or so says Catholic League President William Donohue in an April 18th piece on the Catholic League’s website. The gist of the piece is that everyone’s being too hard on priests over this whole abuse thing, and anyway it all happened a long time ago and the fact that most priests aren’t molesters is proof enough that this is no big deal. And anyway, Donohue writes, “(M)ost of the abuse occurred during the heyday of the sexual revolution, from the mid-1960s to the mid-1980s.” You know, “sexual revolution,” when everyone was way
MAY 2011
cooler about child molestation. not pedophilia.” Oh, yeah, and that it’s a gay problem, not Whoa, wait a minute. Considering a pedophile problem. puberty begins between 8 and 13 for girls Donohue writes, “The refrain that child and 9 and 14 for boys, Donohue’s claim that rape is a reality in the Church is twice wrong: it’s all good in the hood just because the let’s get it straight—they weren’t children abuse doesn’t meet the “clinical definition and they weren’t raped. We know from the of pedophilia” is not only misleading, it’s (2004 sexual abuse study commissioned by pretty sick. Because that certainly meets the the U.S. Conference of criminal definition of Catholic Bishops) that Donohue isn’t the first to pedophilia, something most of the victims have that Donohue never been adolescents, and blame the abuse scandal on a acknowledges. He just that the most common few bad homo priest apples. blames it on the gays. abuse has been inapThis is, of course, propriate touching (inexcusable though this not new territory. Donohue isn’t the first to is, it is not rape).” blame the abuse scandal on a few bad homo Wow. These weren’t kids, huh? Interest- priest apples. And if you think homosexualing because adolescence begins at age 12. ity and pedophilia are the same thing, it’s Call me crazy, but I consider a 12-year-old a a pretty convenient conclusion to come to. child. My guess is that it’s not uncommon to One that tidily assigns blame and allows consider 12 to 15 pretty solid child territory. you to avoid answering some very difficult In fact, I bet that Donohue would be pretty questions. It’s pretty easy to see why folks quick to call two 12 to 15-year-olds having like Donohue cling to it. sex with each other children. But if they’re Donohue bemoans the “assault on being sexually assaulted by a priest then priests as child abusers” and says that the they’re all grown up, I guess. Whether they Catholic Church did nothing wrong with want to be or not. how it handled the abuse scandal because Oh, and just because the most common they were just trying to be compassionate, type of abuse was “inappropriate touching” rehabilitating molester priests and then that doesn’t mean that no children were sending them off to new dioceses. What raped. I’m not sure how many child rapes it others call a massive cover-up, Donohue calls takes for Donohue to count them as real or a “therapeutic approach.” significant, but I’m going to out on a limb here “What accounts for the relentless attacks and say that even one is way too many. on the Church?” Donohue asks. “Let’s face it: Donohue goes on to say, “The Boston if its teachings were pro-abortion, pro-gay Globe correctly said of the (2004 report) marriage and pro-women clergy, the dogs that ‘more than three-quarters of the victims would have been called off years ago.” were post pubescent, meaning the abuse did Right. Because anyone who is bothered not meet the clinical definition of pedophilia.’ by clergy abuse obviously just has a wacky In other words, the issue is homosexuality, liberal agenda.
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US NEWS sex civil unions and marriages from other states, treating them as Delaware civil unions. “I congratulate everyone who worked so hard to make these rights real and look forward to signing this bill into law,” Gov. Jack Markell said April 14. “When it came to this legislation, it was clear that it was about rights, it was about opportunity and it was about time.” Seven other states have similar laws, and five states and Washington, D.C., let same-sex couples marry. Five additional states recognize people married in other states and countries as married. Same-sex marriage is legal in Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont and Washington, D.C. Same-sex marriages from elsewhere are recognized as marriages in Maryland, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island and California (if the marriage took place before Proposition 8 passed). Eleven other nations allow same-sex couples to marry—Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and Mexico (where same-sex marriages are allowed only in the capital city but are recognized nationwide). The states with civil-union laws that grant all marriage rights are California, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Nevada, New Jersey, Oregon and Washington. The Hawaii and Illinois laws were passed recently and have not come into force. Five other states have gay-union laws that extend some
rights of marriage: Colorado, Hawaii (an older law), Maine, Maryland and Wisconsin.
Chicago elects 2nd gay alderman
Chicago voters elected the city’s second openly gay alderman April 5. James Cappleman will represent the 46th Ward on the North Side. Gay Alderman Tom Tunney has represented the heavily gay 44th Ward, just south of the 46th, since 2003. In the Illinois state capital, Springfield, voters also elected an openly gay alderman April 5. Republican Cory Jobe will represent the city’s 6th Ward.
Gay demographer estimates U.S. LGBT population
Gay demographer Gary Gates from the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy, a think tank at the University of California, Los Angeles, has attempted to estimate the number of American adults who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Gathering information from existing population surveys, Gates came up with a figure of nearly 9 million. The research suggests that 1.7 percent of American adults identify as gay or lesbian, 1.8 percent identify as bisexual and 0.3 percent identify as transgender.
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ACCESSline’s fun guide
Our Picks for May
5/3-5/8: Civic Center of Greater Des Moines: YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN 5/5 - 5/13 Studio 13, Iowa City: RIVERSIDE STAY GIVEAWAY 5/6 7:30pm Gallagher Bluedorn, Cedar Falls: CRÈME DA LA CRÈME 5/7 Kings & Queens Taps Nightclub, Waterloo: Lyme Disease Benefit Show “Under Our Skin” 5/7 Eagles Club, Dubuque: WE’RE BACK DRAG SHOW (HOSTED BY STEPPING OUT PRODUCTIONS) 5/11-5/22 Temple Theater, Des Moines: MY MOTHER’S ITALIAN, MY FATHER’S JEWISH, & I’M IN THERAPY 5/13-5/28 Theatre Cedar Rapids: THE LION THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE 5/13 Faith United Methodist Church, Cedar Rapids: MARY McADAMS IN CONCERT 5/14 7pm Zion Lutheran Church ELCA, Iowa City: THE QUIRE, MORTEN LAURIDSEN’S LUX AETERNA 5/14 Old Market, Omaha NE: New Braska Festival 5/14 2pm Englert Theatre, Iowa City: CIRCA, 61 CIRCUS ACTS IN 60 MINUTES 5/15 The Sands, Des Moines: THIRD ANNUAL PRIDE VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT 5/15 Studio 13, Iowa City: MISS PICKLE DRAG THING 5/28 Lower City Park, Iowa City: FIFTH ANNUAL RAINBOW FUN RUN AND WALK 5/28 Veterans Memoiral Stadium, Cedar Rapids: ORCHESTRA IOWA / JEANS & CLASSICS, “THE MUSIC OF BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS, EARTH WIND AND FIRE, AND A BIT OF CHICAGO.”
... and for June
6/2-6/5 Civic Center of Greater Des Moines: CHICAGO 6/3 Hy-vee Conference Center, West Des moines: Matthew Shepard Scholarship Awards Dinner 6/9-6/19 Mason City Community Theatre: CRIMES OF THE HEART
Deep Inside Hollywood by Romeo San Vicente Watch Out, Betty White’s going to punk you
Betty White. Photo: Touchstone Pictures. NBC wants to be back in the Betty White business. And who can blame them? The 89-year-old spent seven seasons with The Peacock slowly becoming a gay icon on Golden Girls and is still riding the hottest career wave she’s ever had, thanks to an Emmy win for hosting Saturday Night Live. Now the network wants her to play practical jokes with Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, a show that will feature seniors pranking young people on hidden camera. This might all sound like a geriatric Punk’d but the actual inspiration is a European series called Benidorm Bastards, which operates on the same old-tricks-young premise. Given the face recognition factor, it’s unlikely that Betty herself will be pulling the stunts—it would be a little distracting to have Betty White just insert herself into your day-to-day life, after all—but a brave team of other 89-yearold actors are about to finally get their big Hollywood break.
MTV plans to Savage U
It really does get better, at least for Dan Savage. MTV has committed to 10 episodes of the author/columnist’s sex advice show, Savage U. It will follow Savage as he tours around the country visiting college campuses on a speaking tour and taking questions from students. Now remember, this is a man whose weekly column encourages readers to address him as “Faggot,” so the show probably isn’t going to be an adorable Dr. Ruth (or even Dr. Drew) experience. Savage’s trademark is blunt talk mixed with humor and occasionally some controversy (just Google his name and “fat people” for the most recent public shouting match some of his plus-size readers are waging), so brace yourself for the experience. That is, whenever MTV gets around to airing it. Meanwhile, could someone make it required viewing for young people hoping to audition for 16 and Pregnant?
Cherry Jones classes up REM
No, the Emmy-winning actor Cherry Jones didn’t join Michael Stipe’s band. She has, however, signed on for a new pilot on Fox with the same name. Creator Kyle Killen, who was the showrunner on 24 (the show responsible for Cherry’s Emmy), has a new project in the works called REM. It’s an Inception-like series set to star Jason Isaacs as a detective
who emerges back into consciousness after an accident, only to discover that he’s living in two parallel realities. In one of them he has killed his son and in the other he has killed his wife. Intervening in this no-win scenario is a psychiatrist, to be played by Jones. If the pilot goes to series it’ll be yet another heavy drama for the acclaimed actor, which kind of begs the question of when Jones will be tapped to do some comedy. May we suggest a story arc where she appears as Sue Sylvester’s love interest on Glee or replaces Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men? Think of the possibilities.
Restless for Restless? Be patient.
Gus Van Sant-ophiles can breathe a little easier. There’s nothing wrong with Restless. There was a little confusion when the Milk director’s latest low-budget arthouse drama was pulled from the Sundance Film Festival schedule and from its early 2011 release date. But now it’s a potential entry at Cannes and looks to be coming to theaters this fall. As reported earlier, the film returns Van Sant’s focus to very young subject matter and very blond casting, with Jane Eyre/Kids Are All Right/Alice in Wonderland star Mia Wasikowska playing a girl with a terminal illness who develops a somewhat Harold and Maude-like relationship with a moody young man (Henry Hopper, son of Dennis). And as for the delay, it may simply be that given Milk’s Oscar success, distributor Sony Pictures Classics is trying to position the film in a prime award season slot. Couldn’t hurt.
Ellen is going to Sing You Home
Jodi Picoult’s new novel, Sing You Home, has a new (future) home: multiplexes. That’s because Ellen DeGeneres has obtained the rights to make it into a movie, which she’ll do as producer alongside gay Hollywood power players Craig Zadan and Neil Meron. The book, which debuted earlier this month in the No. 1 slot on the New York Times Bestseller List, is about a lesbian couple struggling to have a baby. It’s all still in the getting-toknow-you phase, so there’s no cast and no director and no script. But this isn’t Picoult’s first time having her work adapted for the screen. My Sister’s Keeper, starring Cameron Diaz and Abigail Breslin, also began life as a novel by Picoult. One sticking point that Ellen might keep in mind: she’s still complaining about how that one turned out, accusing director Nick Cassavetes of, in her words, “lying to my face.” So tread lightly on that original material, Ms. DeG.
When Evil Queens collide
No, the story of Snow White isn’t specifically gay. But it does prominently feature an Evil Queen, which—as any gay man will
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the fun guide
MAY 2011
Partying Hard: It’s the ‘50s Again, Sort Of by Joshua Dagon A brand new club opened here in town this weekend. I, of course, couldn’t miss the festivities, which would undoubtedly include attractive men and copious amounts of intoxicants. Normally, at such functions, I tend to begin with the intoxicants as, for some reason, the number of attractive men attending these club openings have a propensity for multiplying as the night progresses. In fact, by the time I’m starting on my third or fourth tequila shot, the crowd has become considerably more attractive. That effect usually proves to be somewhat exponential. Go figure. It’s rare that a new club opens. We are creatures of habit, my friends and I, often “debating” at which establishment we should spend our Friday or Saturday night. Nevertheless, we invariably end up at the same bar. “I want to try some place different this week,” a pal-o-mine usually always suggests sometime early on a Friday. “As long as the music doesn’t suck and the crowd isn’t too old and they don’t want too much of a cover charge and there’s decent lighting and the line to get in isn’t too long and the crowd isn’t too young and the drinks aren’t too expensive and there aren’t a lot of tourists and they don’t pump all that fog onto the dance floor and the bartenders are friendly and I don’t have to stand in line for the men’s room and there’s no drag show and have I mentioned that the music shouldn’t suck?’ We invariably end up at the same bar. This new club turned out to be fairly enjoyable. The attendance was high—not literally, as far as I could tell, gosh-darn-it— and apparently in a buoyant humor. The
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MATTHEW role, do people often think you’re gay? I’ve been singing and dancing since I’ve been in fifth grade so I’ve gotten that quite a bit in my life. Being one of few straight guys in theater, how did you use that to your advantage when it came to the ladies? The odds for me were definitely in my favor, being surrounded by beautiful female dancers and being the person that they could actually, you know, be with. (Laughs) So it was a great time in my life. I really took advantage of it for a while in my younger days on Broadway, but aside
size of the assembly was daunting, however, making the acquisition of a cocktail somewhat difficult. Worse still, my first margarita was horrible; it tasted like a mariachi player threw up. I found another bartender and had him re-pour my cocktail, which turned out to be acceptable. Of course, I had to wait in line again, which seriously cut into the time I normally use to cruise guys, but if I don’t get a good margarita before I begin that process then, really, what’s the point? I’m something of a connoisseur when it comes to margaritas. They’re made with strong tequila and then, I think, some other stuff. I don’t actually pay too much attention to the other stuff; as long as my drink doesn’t taste like laundry detergent then we’re good to go. The new club’s decor was charmingly themed in a retro type fifties kind of automotive premise with part of the atmosphere reminiscent of a quaint dinette—as though, in the 1950s, folks brought their 1953 Pontiac Chieftain in to have the tires rotated and then stayed for root beer floats and some chili fries. The booths were generously upholstered in dark, cherry red vinyl. Small chrome cocktail tables were peppered throughout the space. Large emblems of vintage car models decorated the walls. The music was
contemporary, which was wise, I believe, as the choice to blare Connie Francis and Wilson Pickett, although thematic, could have been counterproductive. Even given the decor the atmosphere wasn’t too retro; none of the cocktail waiters were on roller-skates and I didn’t see one leather jacket. Absent also were any throngs of greasers waiting in the parking lot ready to bash any fruity-looking patrons. It’s ironic that a gay club should endeavor to portray the era that produced such schoolage educational films as “Boys Beware”—which was actually produced in 1961—that featured classic lines like “One never knows when the homosexual is about.” Homosexuality was, technically, illegal during the 1950s in the United States. In fact, same-sex sexual activity has only been legal in all fifty states since 2003. [I’m not making that up; I got it off of Wikipedia.] So, I personally find it appropriate that a fiftiesthemed nightclub should prosper early in the twenty-first century, if only to thumb our proverbial noses at those homophobic weenies of the mid-twentieth century who couldn’t tolerate two guys with ducktail hairdos and lettermen sweaters sharing a smooch now at then at the drive-in while watching The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms and debating who was cuter, James Best or
Homosexuality was, technically, illegal during the 1950s in the United States. In fact, same-sex sexual activity has only been legal in all fifty states since 2003. [I’m not making that up; I got it off of Wikipedia.]
from all that bulls--t, I love being on the gayest show on TV. It doesn’t bother me; I wear it as a badge of honor to be accepted and loved in that community. There are several steamy pics of you on the Internet, including ones of you in polka-dot underwear with a plushy little poof on the private. Yeah, that’s my chicken. (Laughs) It was for a thing called Broadway Bares, a big fundraiser. And if I knew at the time how much flack I would get for those photos I probably would’ve never done it, but it raised a lot of money that night for AIDS. There’s another picture out there of you—or someone that looks like you—getting cozy and smoochy with
Anderson Cooper’s alleged boyfriend. That’s not me. It looks very much like me. It does, indeed. Your doppelganger? Yeah, I know. Thank you for making out with Anderson Cooper’s boyfriend, whomever you are. (Laughs) But his ears are different, and he doesn’t have the mole on the side of his face like I do. Do rumors bother you? They used to, but it happens so much now that you have to shut it off. I know my own truth, and that’s what you have to live with. Which Glee girl would you have dated in high school? I would’ve been the Quinn guy. I actually pretty much did date Quinn in high school. I dated the homecoming queen and she was very religious, and I went to church with her all the time. Was your girlfriend in the celibacy club, too? Uh, well, we weren’t having sex, so yes. (Laughs) Speaking of sex, let’s talk about the first single from your new album, “Summer Rain.” Yes! Sex on a roof. Tell me how the song came about. It’s a true story—me and my ex-girlfriend, who was actually a Broadway dancer (laughs), on the roof of my apartment. It was a beautiful summer day, and then it just started raining—and the moment just kind of took us and we just, you know. This was in New York City, where there could be 1,000 people watching
Novelist Joshua Dagon is the author of Into the Mouth of the Wolf, The Fallen, and Demon Tears. For more information, please go to www.joshuadagon.com. To contact Mr. Dagon, please e-mail him at jd@joshuadagon.com.
Kenneth Tobey. (Kenneth Tobey). For the most part, I think the new nightclub will do quite well. The drinks are cheap and strong. The bartenders are great-looking. The place is shiny and clean. The theme is novel and historically cathartic. Have I mentioned that the drinks are cheap and the bartenders are great-looking? Cool. Just covering the true priorities.
you on top of the roof, but we didn’t care. A lot of people think that song is just about having sex on a roof, but for me it was being young and in New York and in love. If the 16-year-old version of myself would’ve known I would’ve had a moment like that in my life, I would’ve been very happy. (Laughs) I bet. There’s a line that references Lover’s Lane. What’s the last thing you bought from there? Bought from Lover’s Lane? Is that a store? Oh yeah. Lover’s Lane is a sex shop. (Laughs) Ohh, no! Oh my god. That’s crazy. I didn’t even know that. I wrote it as, in the ‘50s you go to lovers’ lane, kind of like going to a lookout mountain in your car and making out and stuff. Oops. Guess it has two meanings now. (Laughs) (Laughs) I guess so! I’m glad I know that little tidbit of knowledge. You know, public sex might be trickier for you now. Yeah—I still do it. Who cares! (Laughs) No, I can’t do anything in public anymore. Honestly, I’m really happy that I—I feel bad for some of the kids on my show. I mean, they’re not kids, they’re all in their 20s, but I really got to live out my 20s in New York and do whatever I wanted and not be in the public eye, and now I’m such a homebody that I don’t really have any problem with that anymore. I feel lucky that I really got to experience my life like that. Glee has tackled important issues like gay bullying, drinking, teen sex,
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the fun guide
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The Outfield by Dan Woog Three boys’ gay high school blog
For a high school athlete who was so terrified of being gay he contemplated suicide, coming out was huge. But Robert Scott did it—and, within a couple of months, he was blogging nationally about his life. Welcome to the gay youth world, 2011-style. At 14, Robert felt cursed by his feelings for guys. He identified as a jock; he played football, basketball and soccer, and ran track and cross country. There was no way, he told himself, an athlete could be gay. For three years he wrestled with his demons. At 17, he met Ben Newcomer and Brad Usselman through TheGYC.com, a gay teen site. They too were athletes—soccer and track—and though all three lived in different parts of the country, they soon became good friends. Robert, who lives in Memphis, even met Ben at a soccer tournament in North Carolina. Brad had an idea: starting a blog. There was nothing online specifically for young athletes struggling with their sexuality. He contacted Jim Buzinski, co-founder of the OutSports.com website. Jim understood the importance of the teens’ idea and provided important help, from organization to grammar. One goal, Brad said, was to “change people’s perceptions that openly gay athletes would be ostracized from their sports team.” Another was to “build a grassroots movement with my generation” aimed at gaining equality. Referring to gay athletes, Ben added, “Gay people who fit in shouldn’t feel like they have to just because they can.” The blog—called “Walk the Road,” referring to young people exploring their sexuality together (bradrobertben.wordpress.com)—drew nearly instant feedback. A closeted Missis-
sippi State fraternity member told his own agonizing tale, and concluded: “Many Southerners see the typical gay guy as one who runs around in high heels dressed in makeup. However, I can see from you and also myself, we are further from that image than one can be.” A college swimmer emailed the three, and they posted his story. He explained that he is still in the closet because he believes others will define him solely by his sexuality, even though that’s only one part of who he is. That’s exactly the message Robert, Ben and Brad impart. They blog about music, school and their sports teams. They write poetry and upload videos. Sometimes— not always—they post stories about their own experiences as gay teens, or pass along emails that other gay jocks have sent. Publicity on OutSports led to a surge of interest. Olympians, college athletes and people of all ages—sports fanatics, and those who only wished they could play— contacted the trio. Gareth Bale—a 22-year-old Welshman who plays for Tottenham Hotspur in the English Premier League, and a rising international soccer star—sent an encouraging word. “His shout-out really boosted our spirits,” says Robert. Still, when the blog began Robert was not out to his parents. “I was afraid the people around me would judge me if they ever found out,” he recalls. His parents did soon find out—and Robert’s fears subsided. He put his last name on “Walk the Road,” and began a steady coming-out process with friends. The blog and coming out became intertwined. “Hearing so many enlightening stories inspired me to continue telling people close to me,” Robert says. “I had known so little of all the gay athletes there really were in history,” he continues. “Since creating the blog, my eyes have been opened to successful gay athletes
“I had known so little of all the gay athletes there really were in history,” he continues. “Since creating the blog, my eyes have been opened to successful gay athletes of today and the past.”
of today and the past.” “I also realize how much our society is progressing. It’s almost scary how much the youth of today really don’t care for discrimination against anyone who is gay. Even one of my teammates knows now, and we’ve become best of friends since he learned.” Meanwhile, the boys blog on. Last month Brad wrote about the upcoming track season: his first since coming out to his teammates. Noting that all successful programs are built around supportive athletes, Brad wrote: “Some LGBT athletes feel that their coming out will take away from the team dynamic that has been built. I have heard from some people that this happened to them on their own sports team, even so far as to the team being divided over the issue. I am lucky to say, though, that my team sees past my sexuality.” “They see all of the hard work I am putting in every practice in order to achieve the best that I can. I am happy to say that even though my mind went through the worst possible scenario that could take place hundreds of times before I came out as well as after I came out, it all turned out well…There is no time limit on when you have to tell people, just do it when you are ready.”
Ty Nolan’s gay sports content
Wrestling was big in Oklahoma, where Ty Nolan went to high school. His brother and sister were involved in rodeo—another big sport. Yet Nolan chose his own path. He became an American Indian dancer. With three-quarters Native American blood (Tiwa and Sahaptin) he enjoyed donning leggings and feathers, and performing in powwows. What he did is sometimes called “straight dancing.” Nolan laughs at the irony. He is gay. After college in Florida, he moved to Arizona. A former boyfriend subscribed to Compete Magazine. “We are gay sports,” the tagline proclaims. Though Nolan did not consider himself an avid sports fan, he was intrigued to learn the publication
was headquartered just a mile from his Tempe home. With his background in writing and communications— Nolan is a former college professor and educational consultant, working in areas like AIDS and sex education— he became a blogger on Compete’s website. The magazine, website—and now a radio show—cover sports in a gay-related way. But it’s not all gay, all the time. “Being gay is not someone’s only identity,” Nolan explains. “Some of what we do is just what any sports fan would like to see.” Nolan posts at least once a day. He tries to make his stories fun—and is always looking for an interesting angle. He points to Oscar Pistorius, a double-amputee sprinter from South Africa who is the new model for Thierry Mugler’s cologne A*Men. Nolan’s blog post quoted Women’s Wear Daily: “Pistorius’ thighs and carbon fiber artificial limbs come coated in a futuristic chrome cladding.” “It’s not exactly gay,” Nolan says. “But there’s a gay overtone.” Another story—not gay really, but certainly one with appeal to LGBT readers— examined women’s full-contact football. Nolan highlighted a player he considered particularly compelling: a Boston woman whose day job is microbiologist. Some posts are clearly gay-related: a profile of British rugby star (and straight ally) Ben Cohen, with three striking photos. A piece on a female-to-male college basketball player. A story on New York Rangers star Sean Avery’s “bromance” with out Bravo executive Andy Cohen. (Avery has said he would fly anywhere to stand in the locker room alongside any high school hockey player when he comes out to teammates.) Nolan points with particular pride to a story on an African-American athlete with two black lesbian Muslims as parents. That had plenty of depth and breadth. Yet other posts have nothing to do with sexuality: the New York Yankees pitching rotation (the fattest in baseball), for example, and a story on a high school wrestler who forfeited a state tournament match rather than face a girl. Blogging for Compete has been an education, Nolan says. “As a small, feminine-
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ACCESSline Page 14
MAY 2011
Cocktail Chatter by Ed Sikov The Marlene Dietrich
It was 2:40 a.m., and I was alone. Dan had flown off again—this time to Tucson and Albuquerque—on a zip-trip for some clinical trials his company was running on an Alzheimer’s drug in which Dan had no confidence. It was a useless trip for a useless drug, and he was miserable about going. I said, “Forget about it.” I ought to know better; of course he didn’t laugh. No, he gave me yet another stern lecture about how Alzheimer’s jokes aren’t funny. “Oh, but they are!” I replied. “As long as you don’t forget them.” Anyway, I should be used to sleeping alone, given all of Dan’s work travel, but I’m not. I hate it. I don’t sleep well without him. Mostly I toss and turn and then lurch zombie-like into the kitchen and eat what’s available. I once scarfed down a whole can of Spam during one endless, hungry night. Hey, I always keep it on hand in case of nuclear attack or dirty bomb. I’m patriotically paranoid, so shut up about Spam. But that night I wasn’t hungry. What I
craved was music—one particular song. My iPod was on the nightstand, so I was right on time when I got the earbuds in, found the song and pushed “play”: “It’s a quateh ta thwee/ Theh’s no one in the pwace/ But you and me. So set ’em up, Joe/ I gotta wittw stowy/ That you oughta know…” Yes, it’s the great Harold Arlen-Johnny Mercer song, “One for My Baby,” as sung in 1959 by the still-aknockout-at-58 Marlene Dietrich. Dietrich may be unique in that she appears to be the only Hollywood star to have a classic cocktail named for her. (There are other star-themed cocktails, including the Hi-Ho, named for the Lone Ranger’s rallying cry to his horse—but they’re scarcely classics.) The Marlene has but three ingredients— lots of rye (or Canadian if you must), a touch of orange curacao and a couple dashes of bitters. But like Dietrich and the allure she created by way of lenses and celluloid, her cocktail is much more entrancing than the sum of its parts. The mini-splash of curacao
I once scarfed down a whole can of Spam during one endless, hungry night. Hey, I always keep it on hand in case of nuclear attack or dirty bomb. I’m patriotically paranoid, so shut up about Spam.
and the even tinier dash of bitters bring out the rye’s gingery quality—a spicy essence rye doesn’t have on its own. And like Marlene herself, the cocktail is easy to make. Billy Wilder (Sunset Blvd., Some Like It Hot) used to get Dietrich going at dinner parties by asking her to talk about her sexual exploits. Well, she’d begin, I did this guy and that gal and this gal and that guy…Wilder would coax her into revealing extremely intimate details, Marlene was happy to oblige, and the other guests would fall stone silent, too stunned to speak. At which point Wilder, who always had a punchline ready to roll, would ask the table faux-innocently, “Are we boring you?” So there I was, wistening—er, listening—to Marlene, over and over again, in darkness. Since there was no one in the place but she and me, I made myself a Dietrich and drifted off to sleep as soon as I downed the last spicy drop.
Our preseason housemates brunch, at which we divvy up holiday weekend and say mean, funny things about people who aren’t there, had taken a wretched turn; I’d offended the only African-American in the group. Before my thoughtless faux pas everyone was high on thoughts of the new season, helped along by my new brunch cocktail, the Spring Splash. (So simple, so refreshing… What would it feel like getting thrown in my face?) Even the evil Robbie kept his mouth shut. Kyle was still playing the impossibly gymnastic “Sonny” to Craig’s all-grown-upBaby-Huey “Daddy,” but he couldn’t be there. Just as well. With the room seemingly frozen, I glanced over at Dan, who had a panicky look. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but the real sight of your partner having a nervous breakdown sparks many more. The words that first leapt to mind were “splatter picture,” “Mau Mau” and (I couldn’t help myself) “spooked.” I could see Dan’s mind working: my sick sense of humor would finally send all our housemates packing, we’d have no rental income anymore, we’d have to take in laundry, and the whole dumb-to-begin-with beach house folly would bankrupt us. Sean cut through it by launching into a guilt trip so pure that he’d had obviously perfected it through painful experience. Sentences began, “Do you have any idea of how sickening…” and ended with such personally damning touches as “…especially coming from someone I thought was my friend.” I was sorrier than a starving cat in the rain. “I’m ashamed, Sean,” I began just as the front door opened and a hyper fireplug of a man stormed in brandishing a cell phone and booming, “I’m there I’ll call you later I’m Phil Levine sorry I’m late did I miss anything?”
Our preseason housemates brunch had taken a wretched turn; I’d offended the only African-American in the group.
The Marlene Dietrich • 3 oz rye (or Canadian) • 1/2 tsp of orange curacao • 2 dashes of Angostura bitters or to taste 1. Pour ingredients in a cocktail shaker filled with ice; shake; serve. 2. After midnight, or any time, you can also make it on the rocks, but don’t tell anybody.
Stick Foot In Mouth, Shake, Serve “There’s something you should know about Phil Levine,” Jack Fogg declared with that manly voice that made everything he said sound like a teaser for one of his popular exposes on CNN. He was bringing his old—where else?—Harvard bud Phil in as a housemate. “He’s a rice queen,” Jack’s delicious boyfriend, Sammy, blurted through a mouthful of Chipper’s signature fruit salad. “That be racist,” I said off-handedly. “No, that ‘be racist,’” Shea said a little louder than strictly necessary and with an edge so sharp I could have cut my tongue out with it, which not coincidently happened to be what I wanted to do. The room became a comedy routine as the boys all suddenly tried to look busy. Craig studied a plate of lox as if it miraculously formed the image of Stokely Carmichael. Chipper and Paolo scrutinized the rug. My playlist was set to “Doris! Doris! Doris!” The song: “There I Go.”
The Spring Splash
• 2 parts premium orange juice • 1 part low-sodium tomato juice or V-8* • 1 part Absolut 1. Mix all three ingredients in a pitcher without ice. 2. Chill in the fridge. 3. Serve in tumblers over an ice cube or two. Do nothing to water it down. *Note: The lower sodium juice is crucial. The incredibly high salt content of regular tomato juice gives this drink a funky, off taste that you will regret. At 1:30am a certain kind of man can get away with tasting a little funky. The drinks you serve at brunch cannot.
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer. — Mark Twain
the fun guide
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ACCESSline’s STATEWIDE Recurring Events List
The following list is provided by—and corrected by—ACCESSline readers like you. If you would like to add an event, or if you notice a mistake in this list, please email editor@ ACCESSlineIOWA.com.
Interest Group Abbreviations: L: Lesbian G: Gay +: HIV-related D: Drag W: General Women’s Interest
Sunday Every Sunday, GLBT AA, 5-6 PM, at First Baptist Church at 500 N. Clinton St., Iowa City. For more info about Intergroup and Alcoholics Anonymous call the 24-Hour Answering Service at 319-338-9111 or visit the AA-IC website: http:// aa-ic.org/. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Sunday, L WORD LIVES: L NIGHT, 7PM, at the Firewater Saloon, 347 South Gilbert St., Iowa City, 319-321-5895. The night will start with Season 1, Episode 1 of the L Word... because a good thing should never die. FoLLowing the L Word wiLL be a Drag King show at 9:30 p.m. No cover. Tel, 319-3215895. [ L B T W D ] Every Sunday, THE QUIRE: EASTERN IOWA’S GLBT CHORUS REHEARSALS, 6-8:30 PM, at Zion Lutheran Church, 310 N. Johnson St., Iowa City. Membership is open to all GLBT folks, as well as allies who support the community. There are no auditions; you only need to be willing to attend rehearsals regularly and learn your music. The Quire prepares two full concerts each year in the winter and spring, and occasionally performs shorter programs at events in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area. The Quire is a member of Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses (GALA), and has developed a reputation for excellence and variety in its concert programs. For more info, visit http:// www.thequire.org/. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Sunday, QUEER GUERRILLA BRUNCH, Locations around Iowa City to be announced each week. LGBTQIs & Allies gather for Sunday brunch to celebrate community and create visibility. Sign up for future brunches on Facebook at http://www. facebook.com/group.php?gid=120517046371 [ L GBTMWA] Every Sunday, RAINBOW AND ALLIED YOUTH, 8:00pm-11:00pm, The Center, 1300 Locust, Des Moines, IA 50309. Social group for Queer youth 25 years and under [ L G B T ] Every Wednesday, LEZ TALK (LIVE TALK SHOW), 9pm, Des Moines Social Club, 1408 Locust St, Des Moines, IA . New talk show in the Capital City, Des Moines, IA. This show is hosted by Lezzies and made for ALL people. We have successfully secured a slot (we said slot) at the DMSC Wednesdays 9pm! Talk about must see TV! [ L G B T + A ] Second Sunday, LGBT MOVIE NIGHT, 2 p.m., Johnson County Senior Center, 28 S. Linn St., room 202 , Iowa City, IA 52240. A series of narrative and documentary movies focusing on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues with informal discussions afterward. An encore screening and discussion of each movie will be offered on the following evenings to accommodate more participants. The selections will share with the audience some of the traumas and successes experienced by the LGBT community throughout history, as well as center around gay love stories and the universal search for meaningful relationships. For more information, or to request a favorite title, contact the series organizer, Elsie Gauley Vega, at 319-337-4487 or jgvega@hotmail.com. [ L G B T ]
Monday
1st 2nd Monday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG NORTH IOWA CHAPTER MEETING, 7 PM, at First Presbyterian Church, 100 S. Pierce St., Mason City. Meetings are held the First and Second Monday (alternating) of the month. For more info, call 641-583-2848. [ L G B T M W A K ] 1st Monday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG QUAD CITIES CHAPTER MEETING, 6:30 PM, at Eldridge United Methodist Church, 604 S. 2nd St., Eldridge. For more info, call 563-285-4173. [ L G BTMWAK] 4th Monday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG WAUKON/NORTHEAST CHAPTER MEETING, 7
Hear Me Out by Chris Azzopardi Kimberly Caldwell, Without Regret
B: Bisexual T: Transgender A: General Interest K: Kids and Family M: General Men’s Interest
PM, First Lutheran Church, 604 West Broadway Street , Decorah, IA 52101. in the Fellowship Hall at First Lutheran Church, Decorah. 604 West Broadway Street. (563) 382-2638 [ L G B T M W A ] Every Monday, DES MOINES GAY MEN’S CHORUS REHEARSALS, 7pm-9:30pm, Plymouth Congregational Church, 4126 Ingersoll Avenue, Des Moines, IA . For more information about singing with the Chorus, contact Rebecca Gruber at 515-865-9557. The Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. [ G M A ] Every Monday Wednesday Thursday Saturday, GLBT ONLY AA MEETINGS IN DES MOINES, 6 PM - SAT 5 PM, at 945 19th St. (east side of building, south door). [ L G B T M W A ] Monday, DIVERSITY CHORUS REHEARSALS, 7:00 - 8:30 p.m., Westminster Presbyterian Church, 4114 Allison Ave., Des Moines, IA 50310. Des Moines Diversity Chorus welcomes new singers, begins 02/07/2011. No audition required. Singing with meaning since 1997! Call Julie Murphy at 515-2553576 for more information. No cost to members. Rehearsals continue on Monday evenings through 5/2/11. [ L G B T M W A D ]
Tuesday
2nd Tuesday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG AMES CHAPTER MEETING, 7 PM, Youth and Shelter Services Offices, 420 Kellogg Ave., 1st Floor, Ames, IA 50010. Meets in the Paul Room of Youth and Shelter Services at 420 Kellogg Avenue, Ames. For more info, call 515-291-3607. [ L G B T MWAK] 2nd Tuesday of the Month, CEDAR RAPIDS UNITY BOARD MEETING, 6:30-8 PM, Cedar Rapids, IA . at 6300 Rockwell Dr, Cedar Rapids. Meetings are open to the general public. For more info, call 319-366-2055 or visit: http://www.crglrc.org [ L GBTMWA] 2nd Tuesday of the Month, SPIRITUAL SEEKERS, 7-8:30 PM, Iowa City, IA . at Trinity Episcopal Church, 320 E. College St, Iowa City. Spiritual Seekers is a group for people of all faiths, or of little faith, who wish to make deeper connections between their sexual identities and the spiritual dimension in their lives. Meetings include discussion of specialized topics, telling of pieces of our faith journeys, and occasional prayer and meditation. (On the 4th Tuesday of each month, the group gathers at a local restaurant for food and fellowship.) For more info, contact Tom Stevenson: tbstevenson@mchsi. com or 319.354.1784. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, OUT (OUR UNITED TRUTH): A GLBT SUPPORT GROUP, 7-8:30 PM, Peoples Church Unitarian Universalist, 600 3rd Avenue Southeast, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401. For more info, call 563-359-0816. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, ACE INCLUSIVE BALLROOM, 7-8:30 PM, Old Brick, 26 East Market Street, Iowa City, IA 52245. All skill levels are welcome. American social dance, Latin, a mix of dance from the last 100 years. For more info, contact Mark McCusker at iowadancefest@gmail.com, 319-621-8530 or Nora Garda at 319-400-4695, or visit http://iowadancefest.blogspot.com/. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, ARGENTINE TANGO, 7:309:30 PM, Iowacity/Johnson Co Senior Center, 28 South Linn Street, Iowa City, IA 52240. Practice and open dance. A donation of $1-2 per person is requested for use of the Senior Center. For more info, contact Karen Jackson at 319-447-1445 or e-mail kljedgewood@msn.com. [ L G B T M W A ] Every Tuesday, KARAOKE IDOL, 9 PM, Studio 13, 13 South Linn Street, Iowa City, IA 52240. Drink specials and great competition! Visit www.sthirteen. com. [ L G B T M W A ]
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Kimberly Caldwell was never crowned “American Idol,” but her debut sounds like she was—meaning, it’s as going-throughthe-motions mediocre as those who walked away with the title. The season two contestant can sing—and she does so like she’s Kelly Clarkson living in Melissa Etheridge’s body. (Remember Caldwell’s version of “Come to My Window”? Awesome.) But that throaty wail and inviting tone only gets her so far with these 11 forgettable songs. “Desperate Girls & Stupid Boys,” the only sign that her producers know a good hook, is high-powered pop with a zooming chorus that’s from the Clarkson cookie-cutter. It’s impossible not to compare the two, since both sing so well they could sell just about anything—but cuts “Heart Like Mine,” “Naked” and “Hotter Without You” are so grade-school shallow that Caldwell comes across as a really good singer singing really bad songs. She can kill a ballad, as she does on the generic commit-already cut “Say Love,” and get down with her funky-rock self on “Going Going Gone,” but Caldwell’s more one-dimensional than a stick figure—and she co-wrote the songs! Typical of Without Regret: “I’m better off, I’m moving on/What you did to me was wrong.” If Caldwell’s voice wasn’t so good, we’d suggest doing the same. Grade: C
Panic! at the Disco, Vices & Virtues
Start panicking (at the disco, or wherever)—Ryan Ross isn’t writing for the
band anymore, and it’s just not the same without him. Now only a twosome (singer Brendon Urie and drummer Spencer Smith), the hipsters reclaim the exclamation point and replace the quirky retro-pop of Pretty. Odd. for pretty ordinary. Almost immediately, and definitely by the time “Hurricane” comes three songs in, Vices & Virtues echoes their debut, 2005’s A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out. What’s missing, though, is the mall-rat snap of Ross’ lyrics, now replaced by emo clichés and second-rate sayings. “Memories” and lead single “The Ballad of Mona Lisa” are proof they haven’t lost their touch when it comes to seizing heads with a bombastic hook that reels and rocks and sounds big enough to take over the world. “Let’s Kill Tonight,” which leans on ’80s electronica, is daft trippiness that would probably sound better if you were stoned. Drugs won’t help the dud “Trade Mistakes,” however. It’s simply awful filler. And the ballad “Always” is a high—a cute love song that, even with clacks and horns, breaks up the in-your-face flamboyancy. It pulls back just in time, before the album goes sound crazy on “Nearly Witches,” which mixes kitsch, orchestral madness and a children’s choir. It’s the oddest moment among too many ordinary ones. Grade: B-
Also Out Lisa Lampanelli, Tough Love Nothing or no one walks away unscathed from Lisa Lampanelli’s lacerating bite. Not Michael Jackson. Not Haiti. Not gays. In the “Queen of Mean” comedian’s latest stand-up show, released as a CD and DVD (with five bonus clips that were “too hot for Comedy Central”), she dishes out more stereotypes and, before going into a one-woman celebrity roast, concludes that “once you go fruit, your place will look cute.” Whether she’s yakking about leaving the dark side for a white man (with big nuts) or self-insulting— referring to last year’s memoir as her “nonbestselling autobiography”—it’s not tough to love Lisa.
Deep Dark Robot, 8 Songs About a Girl What’s going on? Simply what it says— eight songs about a girl. The debut of supersongwriter Linda Perry, a hit-honer for the likes of Pink and Christina Aguilera, and Fatso Jetson drummer Tony Tornay—as the Deep Dark Robot duo—is musical therapy. There’s fury and fear, sadness and regret. And the two non blondes don’t serve it with a spoonful of sugar. This is raw, dirty stuff that hurts. Perry’s voice shifts from raucous wail to eerie whisper, singing beautifully on “You Mean Nothing to Me,” but the heartbreak never lifts—even when she’s bitching out her ex on the last track. Chris Azzopardi can be reached by email at chris@pridesource.com.
Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself. — George Bernard Shaw
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HOLLYWOOD tell you—are plentiful in the queer forest. So what’s better than one Evil Queen? How about two, clawing each other’s eyes out for box-office take? How about three? That’s what’s going to happen when dueling liveaction adaptations hit the big screen starting in 2012. There’s Snow White from director Tarsem Singh, which features Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen, The Social Network’s Armie Hammer as the Prince, and possibly Saoirse Ronan in the title role; and then there’s Universal’s Snow White and The Huntsman, set to star Kristen Stewart as Snow and Charlize Theron as the apple-bearing-witch/ queen. Meanwhile, Disney has already been planning a live-action reboot of its classic titled The Seven, to be set in 19th century China and its dwarves reconceived as martial arts warriors/protectors of the cursed princess. One question: Who says creativity is dead in Hollywood? One more question: Is anyone in charge learning lessons from the failure of Red Riding Hood? Hope so.
Carey Mulligan and Michael Fassbender feel Shame
If Inception co-star Tom Hardy has any competition in the Hot Brit Gay Crush Olympics right now, it’s Michael Fassbender (Jane Eyre, Inglourious Basterds). And Fassbender, along with An Education Oscar nominee Carey Mulligan, is about to appear in the next film from up-and-coming director Steve McQueen (note to readers: that would be the U.K. art star, not the late American action film star—same name, different guys). Titled Shame, it’s about a man facing his own sex addiction—details on the gender object(s) of his habit are currently unavailable—and how his sister reacts to that struggle. The film follows McQueen’s acclaimed feature debut, Hunger, and a decidedly gay-ish short called Bear that consisted of two men wrestling. And no, in spite of that subject matter, McQueen himself isn’t gay. Confused yet? Maybe its 2012 release will clear things up.
Hanks adds Julia Roberts and George Takei to his Crowne
Arguably the coolest and among the most beloved of all former original Star Trek cast members, George Takei can add Tom Hanks to his list of admirers. The 73-year-old actor will appear next in Hanks’ latest directorial effort, Larry Crowne. (Talk about taking your time, it’s only Hanks’ second directing job after 1996’s That Thing You Do.) Reports are that the movie is about a man reaching middle age and realizing that he has to go to college and start over. In other words, it’s about practically everybody these days. Nia Vardalos co-wrote the script with Hanks, and Julia Roberts will co-star. Takei will join a roster of featured players including Oscar nominee Taraji P. Henson, Bryan Cranston, Pam Grier, Wilmer Valderrama, Cedric The Entertainer and Vardalos. And here’s welcome news—it’s planned as a summer release, a welcome grown-up alternative for the July 4th weekend.
the fun guide This week in Amber Heard news What was that you heard about coming out harming an actor’s career? Sure, every performer deals with different circumstances, but take the case of up-and-comer Amber Heard, who recently butt-kicked her way across the screen with Nicolas Cage in the goofy, underappreciated Drive Angry. After coming out with the equivalent of a shrugged, “Oh, hey, yeah, I’m a lesbian and who cares,” the Maxim magazine model-like Zombieland actor has only seen her star rise. She’s just completed The Rum Diary, based on a novel by Hunter S. Thompson and starring Johnny Depp, Aaron Eckhart, Giovanni Ribisi, Richard Jenkins. And she’s about to star in the certain-to-be-trashy thriller The Applicant, about a prep school senior obsessed with getting into Yale who seduces and ruins the lives of an admissions director and professor. Moral: in fiction and in Hollywood, talent is great (and Heard has it) but hotness doesn’t hurt.
Matt Bomer’s White Collar moonlighting
Matt Bomer. Photo: New Line Cinema. The Internet makes gay actors’ personal lives much more complicated. Old ideas about “the closet” almost make no sense anymore when a gay actor doesn’t necessarily hide his sexual orientation but also doesn’t speak to the press about it. Is he out? Not out? Does it matter? Whatever your opinion on the subject, here’s what maybegay-maybe-not-gay-because-he-won’t-say White Collar star Matt Bomer is doing next: a futuristic sci-fi thriller called Now. And the ensemble cast is nothing to sneeze at either—a gang of young ones that includes Olivia Wilde, Alex Pettyfer, Amanda Seyfried, Justin Timberlake, Cillian Murphy, Johnny Galecki, Vincent Kartheiser and former America’s Next Top Model contestant (and The Kids Are All Right co-star) Yaya DaCosta. Why so youth-obsessed? Well, the plot is a riff on Logan’s Run, set in a future where the aging gene has been shut off by science and only money buys you extra life. Sounds like the daydreams of a lot of gay guys, actually. Still in production, expect this one for Halloween. Romeo San Vicente believes in aging attractively. He can be reached online at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.
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the fun guide
The Gay Wedding Planner by Beau Fodor Tip Top Cakes: more than weddings
Adam Kopfman is an artist. But instead of a beret, he sports a more practical hairnet. A necessity really, as Adam’s art is edible. As the owner of Tip Top Cakes, Adam is the go-to guy for Iowan brides and grooms who want the centerpiece of their wedding to be a delectable masterpiece. On its third year, Tip Top Cakes was the winner of last year’s Best Cakes category in the Eastern Iowa 2010 KCRG A-List; it is currently a favorite to win in this year’s competition as well. Tip Top Cakes also specializes in pies, pastries, and most baked goods. His innovative wedding cakes are customized for each couple’s style, whether that is traditional, whimsical, or elegantly modern. Adam says, “I like creating edible art that is not only amazing to the eye, but to the palate too.” With flavors like Maple Bacon, White Chocolate Raspberry, or Chocolate Cake with Raspberry Horseradish, Adam’s cakes are at once dramatically different and delicious. Perhaps this can be attributed to Adam’s background in drama. While going to college to earn his BA in Theater, Adam struggled to decide which passion would
come out on top, his cakes or the stage? Eventually Adam came to feel like the baking world picked him. He channeled his flair for the dramatic into his edible art, and he says, “I have found I can have the best of both worlds.” Though his business is young, it is thriving. While Adam’s 13 years experience as a cake designer and expert baker made this possible, his dedication to the craft and his originality made it inevitable. Adam has studied with bakers from Food Network Challenges and designers for Martha Stewart magazine. He has used their expertise and techniques as inspiration to create an eclectic style and taste all his own.
Jeremy Nelson and Adam Kopfman Adam was married to his partner Jeremy in Iowa City in 2009, after being together seven years.
MAY 2011
Diversity Chorus Spring Concert: “We Can Make A Difference!”
Spring Concert Beau Fodor is an Iowa wedding planner who focuses specifically on weddings for the LGBT community. He is also the host of the new docu-reality show “BRIDES & GROOMS”, which is co-produced by Pilgrim Films and Coolfire Media, and will be premiering this winter on cable television. Beau can be reached through iowasgayweddingplanner.com or gayweddingswithpanache.com.
Monday, May 9, 7pm Trinity United Methodist Church 1548 8th Street, Des Moines FREE
Spring Concert Selections Friday, May 20, 7:30pm Scottish Rite Park retirement residence 2909 Woodland Ave, Des Moines Performing selections from the Spring 2011 concert FREE “We can all make a difference in our community! Trinity United Methodist Church has been doing so in the Des Moines community for over 100 years. “The Diversity Chorus was invited to present our 2011 Spring Concert in their newly renovated, 100 year old sanctuary. The space is beautiful, the acoustics are great, and the music is inspiring, but more importantly, we will be highlighting the work that this diverse, inclusive congregation has done in partnering with the community over the years to fight hunger, loneliness and prejudice. “Featured with the Chorus are vocal soloist, Tim Tate; instrumental soloists, Audrey Husted and Lee Hood; and the Diversity Chorus Brass.”
About the Chorus
What’s the best thing about
being involved with someone of the same sex? “Sharing clothes!” — Alyssa “We’re both from Mars.” — Ryan “I completely understand her PMS.” — Nicole Quotes from the book “Queer Questions Straight Talk” by Abby Dees
The Des Moines Diversity Chorus is a one-of-a-kind choral group in the greater Des Moines area, focused on encouraging respect and appreciation for people through music. The Chorus was organized in June 1997, and is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, receiving support and funding from a variety of individuals, grants and corporate gifts.
Mission
The Chorus is committed to exploring and embracing the many facets of the diverse community in which we live. Our music reflects the traditions of Iowa’s ethnic, social and cultural groups. By welcoming all singers, sharing its wide variety of music, and inviting other artists to be a part of its concerts, the Chorus gives visibility and voice to performers of varied ethnic, racial, religious and sexuality backgrounds who otherwise might not be heard by all.
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The Quire presents Morten Lauridsen’s “Lux Aeterna” May 14 A universal symbol of hope, reassurance, goodness and illumination
allow the audience to be treated to some romance with the wistful “When I Fall In Love” and “Georgia on My Mind” as well as a medley of Beatles’ tunes, including the toe-tapper “When I’m Sixty-Four”. “We wanted to give the audience a broad scope of what The Quire is capable of,” said Kurt Juhl, the group’s other co-director. “We’re certain,” Juhl said, “that the audience will not leave disappointed.”
May 14, 7pm at Zion Lutheran Church, Iowa City IOWA CITY, IA April 25, 2011 – For their annual spring concert, The Quire, Eastern Iowa’s GLBT Chorus, will present “Lux Aeterna”. Morten Lauridsen himself called his work “an intimate work of quiet serenity centered around a universal symbol of hope, reassurance, goodness and illumination at all levels”. An orchestra will accompany The Quire on this piece. The concert will be on Saturday, May 14 at 7 p.m. at Zion Lutheran Church, 310 N. Johnson Street, Iowa City. There is no charge for the concert, but a free-will donation will be collected.
About The Quire
The first half of the concert will consist of the five movements of Lauridsen’s masterful requiem. “A requiem,” said co-director Marlys Boote, “is a musical movement to honor those in our lives that we have lost. To perform this piece will allow the members of The Quire to honor
friends and family, including one of our own, John Karn, who passed away last winter.” The requiem will pull the listeners in with its quiet melodies and chant-like symmetry. “The group always enjoys the opportunity to sing with an orchestra,” added Boote. The second half of the concert will
proper blood clotting), folate, vitamin A and C. And most importantly, in this soufflé it is indescribably delicious and perfect with a glass of bubbly. Finish this off with a few strawberries dipped in Chambord Ganache and rolled in her favorite topping. Keep the bubbly coming for this one, too. It’s just what the doctor ordered for Mom!
utes until puffy and firm. 8. Remove from the oven and sprinkle Parmesan cheese over the top of each soufflé. Break the top of each soufflé, and spoon in the warm Hollandaise Sauce. Serve immediately.
The Quire is a not for profit chorus for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons and their allies. The group aims to promote a positive image of these communities through excellence in choral music. Membership is open to anyone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered as well as to anyone who is respectful and affirming of these communities. For more information, please visit The Quire at www.thequire.org.
This Mother’s Day Give Her Everything Under the Moon! Dr. Michael Fenster, MD, F.A.C.C., FSCA&I, PEMBA, helps you give Mom the ultimate gift of health with a heart-healthy full moon brunch menu
Asparagus Parmesan Soufflé with Hollandaise
This year the spring was welcomed by a special full moon, the perigee, or super moon. Since the orbit of the moon is elliptical, there are times when it is closer; the time it is closest is known as the perigee and this year was the closest the moon has been since 1992. Ancient lore recounts how plants grown and harvested under the full moon were imbued with an extra potency and vibrancy. So we gathered some traditional harbingers of spring, who with that extra shot of moonshine deliver spring in a spoon. Asparagus is one of the first springtime vegetables. The tender shoots are a great source of saponins. These compounds have both an anti-inflammatory and anti-tumor properties. Consumption of saponins is also correlated with improvements in the regulation of blood pressure and blood sugar. Asparagus is also a source of a unique carbohydrate compound, a type of polyfructan, known as inulin. Unlike other carbohydrates, inulin passes almost completely intact all the way to the large intestine, where it is broken down by our native, beneficial bacteria. This is associated with potentially better nutrient absorption and a potential lower risk of colon cancer. In addition, asparagus is a great source of vitamin k (a vitamin necessary for
Makes two 8oz. servings 180 Calories; 9g Fat; 10g Carb • 2 teaspoons unsalted butter, softened to grease ramekins • 1/4 cup fine breadcrumbs to dust ramekins • 4 large egg whites • 8 ounces prepared asparagus; peeled, blanched* • 1 leek, white part only, roughly chopped • 3 Tbs grated Parmesan cheese + 1 Tbs for dusting • 3 large egg yolks • 1 tsp salt • ½ tsp fresh ground pepper • 1 tsp lemon zest 1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. 2. To prepare the asparagus, peel the stems to remove the outer, stringier fibrous part. Place the asparagus in salted, boiling water for 30 seconds. Remove and place in an ice bath to stop the cooking process. Roughly chop. 3. Using the softened butter and breadcrumbs, grease and coat each 7oz ramekin. 4. Using a stand mixer beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form. 5. Place the blanched asparagus and leek in a food processor and puree. 6. Combine the egg yolks with the asparagus and leek mixture, Parmesan, lemon zest, salt and pepper. Fold in 1/3 of the egg white mixture to lighten the egg yolk mixture. Then gently fold the egg yolk mixture into the remaining egg whites. 7. Fill the ramekins with the batter, wiping along the top edge. Bake for ~ 15-18 min-
123 Hollandaise
Serving Size 3/4 oz 110 Calories; 12g Fat; 0g Carb • 1 stick unsalted butter (8Tbs) • Juice of 2 lemons • 3 egg yolks 1. Combine the lemon juice and egg yolks. 2. Melt the butter in a medium saucepan. 3. Temper the egg yolks by adding the melted butter, a little at a time to the yolks, whisking constantly. When half the butter has been added, combine the egg yolk-butter mixture with the rest of the melted butter in the saucepan. 4. Stir over medium low heat until the sauce thickens, about 3- minutes.
Chambord Ganache Covered Strawberries
Serving Size 4 berries 80 Calories; 6g Total Fat; 8g Total Carbohydrate • 1 oz (2 Tbs) of butter • 7oz of heavy cream • 8 oz fine chocolate, chopped • 2 Tbs Chambord (or any other liqueur flavor you like) • 1 pint fresh strawberries 1. Melt the butter and heat the cream together. Bring the mixture up to a boil. 2. Pour over the chocolate and allow to sit for 1-2 minutes. Whip together and add the liqueur. 3. Dip the strawberries in the Ganache. If you have any additional toppings like toasted coconut or crushed macadamia nuts roll the dipped berries in these and let set for several minutes or refrigerate until needed. Copyright Michael Fenster Photos by Jennifer Fenster
ABOUT MICHAEL FENSTER, MD, F.A.C.C., FSCA&I, PEMBA Michael Fenster combines his culinary talents and Asian philosophy with medical expertise, creating winning recipes for healthy eating. He is frequently asked to present live cooking demonstrations as well as giving numerous radio interviews on health and food shows both nationally and internationally. Michael is a certified wine professional and chef, receiving his culinary degree from Ashworth University where he graduated with honors. He has worked professionally in kitchens prior to entering medical school and maintained his passion for food and wine throughout his medical career. Mike helped manage the award winning Napa Alley in Roanoke, Virginia, and hosted a local cable TV cooking show, “What’s Cookin’ with Doc” in Dublin, GA. He has written columns for NewsLine.net; SheKnows.com, is a regular columnist for the culinary magazine Basil, as well as a member of their Council of Chefs and a monthly health and fitness contributor to The Tampa Tribune. Mike’s heart healthy recipes have are reprinted in newspapers and magazines across the country, and he regularly cooks up healthy meals on the nationally syndicated television show “Daytime.” Michael Fenster, MD, is a Board Certified Interventional Cardiologist, currently on staff with the Cardiology Specialists of Florida at Hernando Heart Clinic. He has participated in numerous clinical trials and spoken nationally on a variety of cardiovascular topics to audiences ranging from lay public to peer presentations at the American Heart Association and American College of Cardiology meetings. He has also published numerous professional peer reviewed articles and served as an Assistant Professor of Medicine at North East Ohio University College of Medicine (NEOUCOM). Michael recently graduated summa cum laude from Auburn University’s Physician’s Executive MBA program. Michael holds a JuDan (10th degree black belt) ranking in Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu, which he has studied over the last three decades. He lives in Spring Hill, Florida, with his wife Jennifer. His book, BECOME A GRASSROOTS GOURMET will be published in early 2012. To see cooking demonstrations with Michael Fenster and more recipes, visit www.WhatsCookingWithDoc.com.
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Out of Town: Hwy 1: Los Angeles to San Francisco by Andrew Collins It’s true that most who travel between the West Coast’s largest gay meccas, Los Angeles and San Francisco, do so by way of a simple one-hour flight. But there’s a great reason for driving between these two cities, and not even by way of the most direct route (along I-5). The often narrow and windy coastal route, using Hwy. 1 and—optionally—portions of the faster U.S. 101—takes a minimum of 10 hours to drive. But this roughly 450-mile tour passes through some of the most spectacularly scenery in North America, from soaring coastal palisades to vineyard-studded wine country. If you’re an ardent road-tripper, you owe it to yourself to make this drive at least once in your life. I’m providing a blueprint for making this tour south to north (starting in coastal L.A.), with several overnights. It’s perfectly fine to plan your trip from north to south. Whatever you decide, allow yourself at least three days to make this trip, and aim for a week if possible. You could easily spend two weeks on this adventure and never run out of cool things to see and do, especially if you tack on some days at either end, around Los Angeles and San Francisco. Be aware that most rental-car companies charge a $100 to $150 drop-off fee (or a higher daily rate in this range) for picking up a car in one city and returning it in another. Alternatively, you can make this a round-trip drive (for a quicker return, take I-5 through the San Joaquin Valley—the drive takes between six and seven hours). Start your journey in the coastal section of L.A.—the neighboring communities of Venice Beach and Santa Monica have much to offer and enjoy a low-keyed but substantial gay following. The only gay bar along the coast is the endearingly quirky and fun Roosterfish, along Abbot Kinney Boulevard in Venice, which is rife with trendy restaurants and design shops. Also be sure to explore lower Santa Monica’s engaging Main Street, which is also a great source of offbeat shopping and fun cafes. In lively downtown Santa Monica, you’ll find chic retail at the open-air Santa Monica Place, and it’s also worth timing your visit with the Santa Monica Farmers Market, held on Wednesday and Saturday mornings. Santa Monica is also a great bas for visiting one of the world’s most talked-about art museums, the Getty Center, which is as famous for its precious holdings as for architect Richard Meier’s striking—and controversial—design. Also, at the northern end of Santa Monica you’ll find the area’s top gay beach, at Will Rogers State Beach—on a sunny day, there are few more enjoyable places to people-watch. The area abounds with great restaurants, including pan-Latin Border Grill, which is run by the highly talented and engaging chefs Mary Sue Milliken and (openly lesbian) Susan Feniger, of cookbook and TV cooking-show fame. Other downtown Santa Monica standouts include Blue Plate Oysterette and Rustic Canyon, and right near the Santa Monica border in Venice, the Rose Cafe and Market is a perfect stop for grabbing coffee, sandwiches, and gourmet picnic supplies.
Accommodations in Santa Monica and Venice
Loews Santa Monica Beach (santamonicaloewshotel.com), a swanky
beachfront resort; Embassy Hotel Apartments (embassyhotelapts.com), quirky, historic, and moderately priced with central Santa Monica location; and Hotel Erwin (jdvhotels.com/hotels/losangeles/erwin), hip boutique hotel overlooking Venice Beach. From Santa Monica, if you take the longer, scenic way up the coast on Hwy. 1, it’s about a two-hour drive to one of the most beautiful small cities on the West Coast, lovely Santa Barbara. Upon arriving in town, grab lunch somewhere overlooking the ocean—both Brophy Bros. Seafood and the less touristy Boathouse at Hendry’s Beach are excellent choices. Then head inland into the dramatic foothills above downtown to reach the Mission Santa Barbara, the 10th of 21 Franciscan missions built in California during the 18th century, and the nearby Santa Barbara Botanic Garden; allow a couple hours to appreciate these attractions. For sunset drinks and appetizers, drive east through the foothills to San Ysidro Ranch, a stunning resort in Montecito. Even by coastal California’s high standards, Santa Barbara stands out when it comes to culinary prowess. If you’re in town for just one night, do not miss out on dinner at Seagrass Restaurant, which serves refined farm-to-table regional cuisine, with an emphasis on local seafood. Nowhere along the central coast will you find any fulltime gay bars, but Santa Barbara does have some fun mixed hangouts, including Wildcat Lounge—which has a mostly gay night on Sundays—and Elsie’s Tavern.
Accommodations in Santa Barbara
The magnificent Four Seasons Biltmore (fourseasons.com/santabarbara), beachfront resort in Montecito; Franciscan Inn (franciscaninn.com), mid-priced and nicely run hotel within short walk of beach and downtown; Canary Hotel (canarysantabarbara.com), stylish downtown property steps from major shopping. As you leave Santa Barbara (grab breakfast at the outstanding D’Angelo’s Bread if you need sustenance), you’ll be heading through the most dramatic stretch of scenery along this itinerary. Start by cutting inland slightly to the famed Santa Barbara Wine Country, and the towns of Los Olivos and Santa Ynez— take Hwy. 154 for the best scenery (it’s a 45-minute drive). In Los Olivos in particular, you’ll find a number of wine-tasting rooms, enticing boutiques, and first-rate restaurants within a few blocks. Then from Los Olivos, continue up U.S. 101 for an hour to San Luis Obispo County, which takes in the small and attractive county seat as well as the increasingly notable Wine Country town of Paso Robles, which lies about a half-hour north. Highquality and in many cases small-scale wineries abound in this area, as do fine restaurants. San Luis Obispo has a pretty, tree-shaded downtown and a lively personality thanks to the presence of Cal Polytechnic University. You’ll find one of the better nightclubs in the area, Native Lounge, which has a mixed gay/ straight following, as well as such notable restaurants as Novo, for mod California cuisine; Ciopinot for creative seafood with an Italian accent; and Big Sky Cafe, for the best brunch and breakfast fare in the area. Fans of wine-touring should really
Just south of Big Sur, California’s scenic Hwy. 1 fringes sheer cliffs and lush countryside. Photo by Andrew Collins budget an extra night in order to take full advantage of the many vineyards and tasting rooms in the countryside around Paso Robles. For meals, head to the town’s leafy and expansive town green, and explore the nearby blocks—you’ll find several fantastic dining options, including Thomas Hill Organics Market Bistro and Artisan, both of which specialize in locally sourced provisions prepared with considerable flare. One attraction in the area absolutely merits a two-hour stop is Hearst Castle, a grandiose antiques- and art-filled palace built by the late publishing tycoon, William Randolph Hearst (reservations for tours are recommended). It’s about an hour north of San Luis Obispo, in the tiny village of San Simeon—plan to have lunch afterwards at Sebastian’s Store deli, and on your way up from SLO, drive through the bustling fishing village of Morro Bay and the quaint town of Cayucos, which is home to the Brown Butter Cookie Company, whose lightly sea-salted cookies have earned this little bakery a cult following. Accommodations in San Luis Obispo and Paso Robles: San Luis Creek Lodge (sanluiscreeklodge.com), reasonably priced yet upscale property close to downtown San Luis Obispo shopping; Sycamore Springs Resort (sycamoresprings.com), century-old spa resort with an emphasis on holistic health; Cambria Pines Lodge (cambriapineslodge.com), romantic and gay-friendly hotel set amid magnificent gardens. From Hearst Castle, the scenery along Highway becomes even more eye-popping— it’s about a Next comes a similarly stunning drive up Hwy. 1 through the soaring palisades around Big Sur, and onto the Monterey Peninsula. It’s about a two-hour drive to Monterey, but if you’re driving through here as the sun is setting, you should budget an extra hour or so for a glass of wine and tapas at the Post Ranch Inn’s Sierra Mar restaurant, which is perched on a cliff high above the ocean. The Monterey Peninsula a favorite destination for several activities, from shop-
ping in the tony village of Carmel to golfing at the famed Pebble Beach resort. As with other stretches of the central coast, it’s also well-regarded for its acclaimed wineries, and downtown Monterey has one of the top attractions in the state, the famed Monterey Bay Aquarium, which anchors the touristy but fun Cannery Row district. Among the several terrific restaurants in the area, consider the stellar Passionfish, which has been a leading proponent of sustainable seafood, and Santa Lucia Cafe, a fine spot for breakfast or an afternoon espresso.
Accommodations in Big Sur and Monterey
The posh and intimate Post Ranch Inn (postranchinn.com) cliff-top hotel in Big Sur; Clement Monterey InterContinental (ichotelsgroup.com), opulent hotel just steps in Cannery Row; Mariposa Inn (mariposamonterey.com), affordable yet elegant 50-room property with central location. Drive around Monterey Bay via Hwy. 1 to reach the groovy beach city, Santa Cruz, where you’re apt to encounter a mix of surfer dudes, skate punks, and left-wing college students—a colorful scene to say the least. The Municipal Wharf, though kitschy and lined with souvenir stands, is worth checking out. Also stroll along the charmingly faded century-old Santa Cruz Boardwalk, whose half-mile-long wooden roller coaster, the Giant Dipper, has been getting a rise out of tourists since 1924. At this point you can cheat and sneak up to San Francisco in less than two hours via inland U.S. 101, perhaps stopping in charming Los Gatos, an upscale community in the foothills above San Jose. Stalwarts, however, won’t be disappointed by the views enjoyed along Hwy. 1, as it winds the rest of the way up the coast to that splendid City by the Bay. Andrew Collins covers gay travel for the New York Times-owned website GayTravel. About.com and is the author of Fodor’s Gay Guide to the USA. He can be reached care of this publication or at OutofTown@qsyndicate.com.
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Book Worm Sez by Terri Schlichenmeyer Concierge Confidential by Michael Fazio with Michael Malice ©2011, St. Martin’s Press $24.99 / $28.99 Canada 271 pages Some people, well, you’d do anything for them. The sweet older lady next door calls for a favor and you go running. Your nephew bats those baby blues and you’d buy out the toy store for him. If she asked, you’d dig ditches for a beloved former boss, and all your mom has to do is crook her finger for you to be at her service. Is serving what you do best? Could
Across
1 Eagle or chicken hawk 5 Life Goes On daughter 10 Susan B. Anthony dollar, e.g. 14 Be reminded of S&M, e.g. 15 Minnesota state senator Spear 16 Kinky coif 17 Ps on the Parthenon 18 Words before evil 19 Currier’s partner 20 Camelot’s “___ Moi” 21 Get around 22 Kopay’s team 23 Bill written by Alice Paul 24 Rolled by 26 Checkers side 27 Mortgage org. 29 Skin decoration 30 Hair piece, slangily 32 Type of Boy Scout badge 34 Sodom suffix 35 Prufrock’s creator 38 Maurice of Bewitched 39 Hockey legend Bobby 40 Singer of “Tomorrow” 41 Tobias pseudonym 42 Grind together 44 Doesn’t feel up 45 Bear 47 Some Stein pieces 49 When queening usually occurs 53 With 66-Across, Elizabeth Taylor movie 57 My Own Private ___ 59 Gielgud’s john 60 Hit first, to Navratilova 63 Mister of La Mancha 64 Tango number
you do it for a living? Read the new book Concierge Confidential by Michael Fazio (with Michael Malice) and you’ll think twice before answering. When Charlie Sheen called and asked if the boss was in, Michael Fazio was barely fazed. Fazio figured it would be a small step from agency assistant to “the next big Hollywood movie mogul” and a good mogul isn’t impressed with fame. But Fazio’s job at The Liberty Agency didn’t so much include hob-nobbing with the stars as it did taking care of his boss, Glennis. He soon learned that keeping her happy meant plugging in her curlers and making coffee before she got to work. Caring for her was, oddly, something Fazio
enjoyed doing. After another brief assistant’s job and a gig playing piano on a cruise ship, Fazio and his partner, Jeffrey, moved to Manhattan. Though Fazio was initially unemployed, he quickly found a job at the InterContinental Hotel on 48th Street, where he learned that his unique strengths would best be put to use as a concierge. A good concierge, like a good business person, has lots of contacts to call upon for favors. He (or she) excels at making
Q-PUZZLE: “Taylor-made for the Big Screen”
65 Nitpicky about a bit of history? 66 See 53-Across 67 Cockpit abbr.
68 See 3-Down Down 1 Oscar Wilde forte
the impossible possible. Though celebrities and millionaires are the concierge’s typical clients, anyone staying at a hotel with a concierge can use the services offered. Fazio writes about finding yachts for his clients, as well as tickets to sold-out concerts, reservations to jam-packed restaurants and night clubs, and yes, even the unconventional. He writes about good tippers, bad eateries, ugly situations, and how he survived them all. Going on vacation this summer? Check this book out before you leave. “Concierge Confidential” includes the dishiest stories of wealth and celebrity, as well as a wealth of tips on star treatment and getting the best results from your hotel stay. Authors Michael Fazio and Michael Malice don’t stop there, though. They explain what a concierge does, where you’ll find one, and how to get what you need (hint: being a jerk won’t impress anybody). In between lessons, you’ll be regaled by tales of Hollywood and Broadway, challenges and chefs, businessmen and bubbleheads, hissy-fitting stars and hustling scammers, and the rich and famous. And then, if your hotel doesn’t have a devoted concierge, you’ll learn how to schmooze tickets, reservations, and admission on your own. It’s hard not to love something that so effortlessly entertains, and “Concierge Confidential” does just that. If you’re heading for holiday, or if you’re just up for a light, fun, privy look at leisure and luxury, you should do anything to get this book. 2 Earth tone 3 With 11-Down and 68-Across, Elizabeth Taylor movie 4 It may come before we forget 5 Metabolism descriptor 6 Peak statistic 7 Elizabeth Taylor movie 8 Cukor film holders 9 Cell component 10 Superman portrayer Dean 11 See 3-Down 12 Cara of Fame 13 Prodded, doggy-style 24 Chows down 25 De Matteo of Desperate Housewives 28 Nehru, for one 31 Bones below the elbows 32 No better than 33 Neck and neck 36 Slick with lubricant 37 Gay wedding guide author Ayers 42 Courteous chap 43 Sphere starter 46 Oral zinger 48 Playground piece for a couple 50 Greek triangle 51 Bear sound 52 Online exaggeration? 53 Have sex with 54 Ejaculation of concern 55 Weeknight comic 56 Bond foe 57 Expert ending 58 “Of God, of Gaius 61 Kilmer of “The Doors” 62 Fairy’s cousin
• SOLUTION ON PAGE 28
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HARPIST
INSURANCE
PHOTOGRAPHER
QUAD CITIES: MASSAGE
CEDAR RAPIDS: WINE & GIFTS
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SScontinued from page 15
OUTFIELD
EVENTS
looking boy, sports was not always welcoming to me,” he admits. “And I lacked depth perception, so anything involving catching a ball was hard. Now, I walk through the door of sports in a very different—and much more comfortable—way.”
Every Tuesday, ACE HAS FACE THE MUSIC & DANCE, 7-9pm, 26 E Market St, Iowa City, IA 52245. All skill levels are welcome. Tango, Waltz, Disco, Country, American social dance, Latin, a mix from the last 100 years. Join on Facebook at http://www. facebook.com/group.php?gid=372454708295. For more info, contact ACE experiment at 319-8538223. [ L G B T M W A ] First and Third Tuesday, YOUTH FOR EQUALITY, 4-6pm, The CENTER, 1300 W Locust St, Des Moines, IA 50309. A service and action group for youth who identify as LGBTQI and their allies. Open to all students in grades 5 through 12. [ L G BTMWA] Second Tuesday of the Month, PITCH HIV+ PEER-TO-PEER SUPPORT GROUP, 6-8pm, The CENTER, 1300 Locust St, Des Moines, IA . Contact John at 515.284.3358 with questions. [ + ]
Wednesday
Nolan “loves discovering people.” “I heard about an Asian-Panamanian high school wrestler in San Francisco who was out. It was exciting to talk to him and his coach.” Nolan then put the wrestler in touch with Hudson Taylor, a straight wrestler who initiated an “Athlete Ally” project. As an activist in both the Native American and gay communities, Nolan says he appreciates the chance to “be a catalyst, and connect people together.” Compete’s website could be seen as competing against OutSports.com, the well-established “go-to” site for gay sports. Nolan does not believe it. “We are a full media outlet,” ‘he says. “We’ve got a magazine and a radio program. We hope to get into TV.” In fact, he says, OutSports often cooperates with Compete for its radio show. The radio program began as an Internet stream. There were interviews with people like out New Zealand speed skater Blake Skjellerup, and non-gay topics like the pressures California schools face from Title IX. The radio show launched in early March on KPHX, an AM station in Phoenix. It’s more local; for example, after blogging about women’s full-contact football nationally, Nolan interviewed players on an Arizona team. He brought Native American issues onto the air with a story about Salt River Fields at Talking Stick, a baseball spring training facility for the Arizona Diamondbacks and Colorado Rockies that is the first in the nation built on Indian land. “I’m still finding the balance between outright gay advocacy, gay-related stories and sports,” Nolan says, referring to both his blogs and radio shows. “It’s a work in progress.” As is the entire sports world, as it moves to include and accept LGBT people in all levels of athletics, all across the country. Dan Woog is a journalist, educator, soccer coach, gay activist, and author of the “Jocks” series of books on gay male athletes. Visit his website at danwoog.com. He can be reached care of this publication or at OutField@qsyndicate.com.
1st Wednesday of the Month, CEDAR RAPIDS CHARTER CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN BUSINESS WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION, For more info, visit charter-chapter.tripod.com. [ L W ] 1st Wednesday of the Month, WOMEN’S SACRED CIRCLE, 6:30-8 PM, Prairiewoods Franciscan Spirituality Center, 120 E. Boyson Rd, Hiawatha, IA 52233. This group is for women who are interested in gathering for spiritual growth. The direction and activities of the group are determined by participants. $5 per session. For more info, visit www.prairiewoods.org. [ L W ] 1st Wednesday of the Month, CONNECTIONS’ RAINBOW READING GROUP, 7 PM, Iowa City Public Library Meeting Room B, 123 South Linn Street, Iowa City, IA 52240. For more info, contact Todd at: faunides@yahoo.com. [ L G B T M W A ] 2nd Wednesday of the Month, STONEWALL DEMOCRATS, THE GLBT CAUCUS OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY, 6:30-8 PM, For more info, contact Harvey Ross at linnstonewall@gmail.com or call 319-389-0093. [ L G B T M W A ] 2nd Wednesday of the Month, WOMEN FOR PEACE KNITTERS, 7-9 PM, Hiawatha, IA . at Prairiewoods, 120 E. Boyson Rd., Hiawatha. Knitting, crocheting, and discussion. For more info, call 319-377-3252 or go to www.womenforpeaceiowa.org. All ages and levels of needlework skills welcome. Come knit for charities. [ L W ] Every Wednesday, HOT MESS EXPRESS, 8:00pm, Des Moines Social Club, 1408 Locust St., Des Moines, IA . The hottest most messiest citizens of Des Moines providing a comedic look at the hottest most messiest current events around the world. Featuring: Paul Selberg, Rachel C. Johnson, Kelley Robinson & Tyler Reedy [ L G B T A ] Every Wednesday, U OF I GAY LESBIAN BISEXUAL TRANSGENDER AND ALLIES UNION MEETINGS, 7-9 PM, Iowa City, IA . at the Penn State Room #337 of the Iowa Memorial Union, U. of Iowa campus, Iowa City. For more info, visit http://www.uiowa.edu/~glbtau/ or e-mail glbtau@uiowa.edu. These meetings are open to the public. [ L G B T M W A ] First and Third Wednesday of the Month, PITCH HIV+ PEER-TO-PEER SUPPORT GROUP, Friends and Children’s Council, 500 E 4th St, Ste 414, Waterloo, IA . RSVP to tamih@pitchiowa.org (requested but not required). (First meeting will be January 19, 2011 from 5:30-7:30pm at the CASS office, 2101 Kimball Ave, Ste 401, Waterloo.) [ + ] Second Wednesday, OUT NETWORKING, 5:30, Des Moines Social Club, 1408 Locust St, Des Moines, IA 50309. A social, business, and philanthropic networking organization for anyone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, questioning or supportive. The group presents year-round events focused on business, culture, community, and philanthropic subjects. [ L G B T A ]
Thursday
1st 3rd Thursday, EVENINGS FOR SPIRIT, 6:30-8:30 PM, West Branch, IA . at SpiritHill Retreat, 604 Cedar Valley Road, West Branch. First, third, and fifth Thursdays of each month. Women gather at SpiritHill (or other locations) to share our spiritual experiences, visions and longings. The evenings include time for sharing and time for silence. Laughter, tears and singing are often shared as
well. No specific spiritual practice is followed. This event is always open to newcomers. For more info, call 319-643-2613, or e-mail spirit-hill@earthlink. net. Calling in advance is highly recommended to confirm the location for the specific month of interest. [ L W ] 2nd Thursday of the Month, OPEN MIC WITH MARY MCADAMS, 7-9 PM, Des Moines, IA . at Ritual Café, on 13th St. between Locust and Grand, downtown Des Moines. Visit www.ritualcafe.com. For more info, e-mail mary@marymcadams.com. [LGBTMWA] 2nd Thursday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG OMAHA/COUNCIL BLUFFS CHAPTER MEETING, 7 PM (6:30 PM social time), Omaha, IA . at Mead Hall, First United Methodist Church, 7020 Cass St., Omaha. For more info, call 402-291-6781. [ L G B TMWAK] 3rd Thursday of the Month, OPEN MIC HOSTED BY KIMBERLI, 7-10 PM, Cedar Rapids, IA . at the Blue Strawberry Coffee Company (now open after the flood), 118 2nd St. SE, Downtown Cedar Rapids. Signup at 6:30 p.m. or by e-mailing flyingmonkeyscr@aol.com the week prior to the open mic. [ L G B T M W A ] 3rd Thursday of the Month, LGBTQI YOUTH MOVIE NIGHT AT THE CENTER, 6:30-10pm, The CENTER, 1300 Locust, Des Moines, IA . This is part of the LGBTQI youth program, anyone 24 years old and younger is welcome. Come down spend the evening with your friends and make some new ones. 515-243-0313 [ L G B T + ] 3rd Thursday of the Month, IOWA PFLAG DUBUQUE/TRI-STATE CHAPTER MEETING, 7 PM, Dubuque, IA . at St. John’s Lutheran Church, 1276 White St., Dubuque. For more info, call 563-582-9388. [ L G B T M W A K ] 3rd Thursday of the Month, CONNECTIONS GAME NIGHT, 7-9 PM, Iowa City, IA . at Donnelly’s Pub, 110 E. College St., in downtown Iowa City. [ L GBTMWA] 4th Thursday of the Month, PROFESSIONAL WOMEN’S NETWORK (PWN), For more info, visit www.pwn.org, e-mail pwn@pwn.org, or call Shelley Woods at 319-981-9887. [ L W ] Every Thursday and Friday, SHANNON JANSSEN, 6-10 PM, Cedar Rapids, IA . Dawn’s Hide and Bead Away, 220 E. Washington St., Iowa City. Shannon performs a variety of music including original songs on the Grand Piano in the hotel’s beautiful atrium. No reservations required. [ L G BTMWA] Last Thursday of the Month, DRAG KING SHOW, 9:00pm-2pm, Studio 13, 13 S. Linn St, Iowa City, IA 52240. The show starts EARLY at 9pm, so all you fans under 21 (meaning 19 & 20) can come for a jam packed hour of show! Your kings will also have another photo signing with awesome king swag! Plus, a SECOND mini show after the signing!!! $3 Bomb shots, $2 Calls and Domestics, and $1 Wells and shots! Cover is only $3! [ L G B T D ]
Friday
1st Friday of the Month, FAIRFIELD ART WALK, For more info, visit www.FairfieldArtWalk. com. [ L G B T M W A ] 1st Friday of the Month, GUERRILLA QUEER BAR MEETUP!, Tired of the same old bars? Crave the idea of bringing your queer and straight friends together in a fun, new environment? We’re descending upon an unsuspecting straight bar and turning it into a gay bar for the night. To join in: join our Facebook group, Google group or Twitter feed. You’ll receive an email the morning of each event with the name of a classically hetero bar and the meeting time. Call your friends, have them call their friends, show up at the bar and watch as it becomes the new “it” gay bar for one night only. Visit groups. google.com/group/iowa-city-guerrilla-queer-bar. [ LGBTMWA] 1st Friday of the Month, FIRST FRIDAY BREAKFAST CLUB, Sherman Place, 1501 Woodland Avenue, Des Moines, IA 95030. The First Friday Breakfast Club (FFBC) is an educational, non-profit corporation for gay men who gather on the first Friday of every month to provide mutual support, to be educated on community affairs, and to further educate community opinion leaders with more positive images of gay men. It is the largest breakfast club in the state of Iowa. Hoyt Sherman Place, 1501 Woodland Avenue, Des Moines, IA 95030. Contact Jonathan Wilson at (515) 288-2500 or email: info@ffbciowa.org [ G B ]
MAY 2011 1st Friday of the Month, DAWN’S COFFEE HOUSE, 5-8 PM, Iowa City, IA . Dawn’s Hide and Bead Away, 220 E. Washington St., Iowa City. First Friday of every month between February 6 and December 4. Music and light snacks are provided. Proceeds from the door are split between the nonprofit of the month and the store (to cover the cost of snacks). Any other donations received go 100% to the non-profit. $3 cover. For more info, phone 319-338-1566. [ L G B T M W A ] 2nd and 4th Friday, DRUMMING CIRCLE, 7 PM, Cedar Rapids, IA . Unity Center of Cedar Rapids, 3791 Blairs Ferry Rd. NE, Cedar Rapids. Every 2nd and 4th Friday of the each month. For more info, call 319-431-7550. [ G M ] 3rd Friday of the Month, OLD-TIME DANCE FOR ALL, 8 PM, Iowa City, IA . A Barn Dance 12 miles east of Iowa City at Scattergood Friends School. A Barn Dance 12 miles east of Iowa City at Scattergood Friends School. Admission is $5.00 per person. Singles and couples, beginners and veterans welcome. The music is live, and all dances are taught and called (that is, prompted while the music is playing). Note: (1) same-sex couples are common at these dances, (2) they’re no-alcohol, no-smoking events, (3) every dance is taught, so beginners are welcome, and (4) people can attend alone or with a partner. People of a variety of ages show up, and the atmosphere is friendly and inclusive. For more info, phone 319-643-7600 or e-mail treadway@ netins.net. [ L G B T M W A ]
Saturday
4th Saturday of the Month, LESBIAN BOOK CLUB, 7 PM, Davenport, IA . is reading books by or about lesbians. Non-lesbians are welcome to attend. All meetings are held at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 3707 Eastern Ave., Davenport. For more info, call 563-359-0816. [ L ] 4th Saturday of the Month, TANGOVIA, 7:30 PM, Iowa City, IA . join area tango dancers at the Wesley Center, 120 N. Dubuque St., Iowa City. Enjoy a candlelit evening of dance, hors d’oeuvres, and conversation in a relaxed atmosphere. Cost is $5. Partner not necessary. Beginners welcome to come at 7 p.m. for an introductory lesson. For more info, call Gail at 319-325-9630, e-mail irelandg@ gmail.com, or visit www.tangovia.com. [ L G B T MWAD] Every Saturday, WOMEN FOR PEACE IOWA, Noon to 1PM, Collins Rd NE & 1st Ave SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402. hosting Weekly Street Corner Vigils for peace, rain or shine. Meet at the corner of 1st Ave. and Collins Rd. SE (in front of Granite City Brewery), Cedar Rapids. Show your support for our troops by calling for their return from Iraq. For more info, e-mail khall479@aol.com. [ L G B TMWAKD] Every Saturday, BAILE LATINO: SALSA, CHA-CHA, MERENGUE AND BACHATA LESSONS, 3:30 PM to 5:30 PM, Cedar Rapids, IA . taught by Gloria Zmolek, at CSPS, 1103 3rd St. SE, Cedar Rapids. No experience or partner necessary. All ages welcome. No sign-up required. $5 per person requested. For more info, contact Gloria at 319-365-9611 or visit www.crsalsa.org. [ L G B T MWAKD]
ACCESSline Page 29 Section 3: Community Council Bluffs Community Alliance First Friday Breakfast Club: Calendar for May When the Ordinary Becomes MAY 2011
Council Bluffs Community Alliance will promote the city of Council Bluffs as a developing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender family community, and to assure the equality of all Council Bluffs’ residents
Extraordinarily Compelling
CBCA BJ’s Get Together Friday, May 13, 5pm-7pm Broadway Joe’s 3400 West Broadway, Council Bluffs
By Bruce Carr
CBCA May Monthly Meeting Sunday, May 15, 5pm-7pm St. Paul’s Episcopal Church We are inviting a speaker from Habitat for Humanity. More to follow on that. There will be a pot luck after the meeting. Please bring your favorite dish to share at a pot luck.
CBCA BJ’s Get Together Friday, May 27, 5pm-7pm Broadway Joe’s 3400 West Broadway, Council Bluffs
Ten Ways to Start a Conversation about Marriage The single most important action you can take in achieving marriage equality is starting a conversation about why marriage matters. Just because you’re “out” as a LGBT person or a straight ally, don’t assume people in your life know how you feel about marriage equality. Undecided voters consistently tell researchers, “The gay people I know haven’t said marriage matters to them – so why should it matter to me?” Despite all the media attention, it’s an issue many people haven’t had a chance to discuss. You can open that door. Remember, your job is to invite someone on a conversational journey. You’re their guide. You don’t need to reach the destination right away – just start down the path together. Here are some ways to get the conversation started: 1. Think about it: What if you were told that you couldn’t marry the person you loved? How would that make you feel, or change your relationship, your future plans and your life? Worse yet, what if you got married, and someone tried to take it away? 2. Two people in a committed, trusting and loving relationship deserve the dignity and support that come with marriage. 3. People can have different beliefs and still treat everyone fairly. That’s why our constitution exists to protect everyone equally. 4. It is a joy to see my son/daughter and his/her partner together and a part of our family. I wish everyone could understand how much excluding them from marriage hurts our family.
5. Discrimination is wrong no matter who it affects. We must work together to fight against discrimination, wherever it appears. Excluding gay and lesbian couples from marriage is a form of discrimination that hurts real people. 6. Tradition is important in our family. That’s why we’ve invited our son/daughter’s partner to be a part of our family traditions and celebrations. 7. It is not for me to judge other people. Just because I disapprove of something does not mean that people’s rights should be taken away. 8. Many couples stay together for years and not only face discrimination, but many other challenges. In spite of these challenges, these couples remain courageous in the face of opposition and deeply committed to building happy lives together. 9. When gay and lesbian couples get married, they may finally be recognized as being part of the extended family—they are added to the family tree. I know how happy our family will be when all of us have the freedom to marry the person we love. 10. Protecting your family is important. But domestic partnerships don’t provide the same security as marriage. They exclude people from marriage and create an unfair system that often does not work in emergency situations when people need it most. Gay and lesbian couples deserve the dignity, respect and legal certainty that come with marriage—and especially the ability to protect the people you love. Find out more about how you can participant in or support the Summer Home program by emailing conversations@oneiowa.org.
Our speaker on the First Friday of April was the famous YouTube phenom Zach Wahls. Zach is the young Iowan whose threeminute testimony before a legislative forum (the one that Republicans called at the end of last January to discuss Iowa House Joint Resolution 6) made him famous worldwide when the film went viral on the Internet. (The Joint Resolution, which later passed the House but went nowhere in the Senate, would start the process of ending same-gender marriage in our State.) The testimony soon landed Zach on nationwide TV—including Ellen DeGeneres’s show, Lawrence O’Donnell’s “The Last Word,” and Jonathan Turley and in print—in USA Today and The Economist, to name only a couple. Zach, who is 20 and a student at the University of Iowa, has been raised by his two mothers since he was five. His “Tall Mom” is Dr. Terry L. Wahls, an internal medicine physician at the University of Iowa, who gave birth to Zach and his younger sister with the aid of “Donor 1033” in the nineties. His “Short Mom” is Jackie, whose commitment celebration with Terry in 1996 was but the first of three ceremonies on their way to becoming legally married in 2009. Zach is no stranger to media attention, in
Zach Wahls with Kate and Trish Varnum. Photo by Arthur Breur fact: already in January 2010 he was quoted in a New York Times article on same-gender marriage: “At the end of the day,” he said in an interview, “It’s really about separate but equal. This isn’t just about lesbian and gay, it’s about tolerance and acceptance.” And last September in an editorial for the Daily Iowan he went into more detail: “Last fall, I had the opportunity, courtesy of Iowa Public Radio’s “The Exchange,” to talk with a Tea Partier about this very topic. When I mentioned that two lesbian women raised me, her face turned to shock and then concern. She asked if I ever had yearning to meet my father—an anonymous sperm donor. “My answer was—and remains—‘no.’ And no, I don’t feel damaged or that my
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Section 3: Community
MAY 2011
Queeries LGBT Etiquette by Steven Petrow Wired That Way by Rachel Eliason My boyfriend wants me to naked sext him.
When Google reveals too much about you
Q: Many of my friends are sending naked pictures of themselves to their boyfriends, and they don’t seem to think twice about it. I’m a competitive gymnast on my high school’s team, and the guy I’ve been dating for a couple of months says he wants to be able to look at my body even when we’re not together because he loves me. He’s even emailed me a real keeper of a photo—completely naked, which I do enjoy looking at. But I’m kind of uncomfortable about doing this, and I don’t really know what to say. Any suggestions? A: I’ve been asked about teenage sexting quite a lot lately, and I’d have to say that it’s now officially the “unsafe sex” of this century. How big is the problem? In 2009, a study by the AP and MTV reported that nearly one-fourth of 14 to 17 year olds had been involved in some kind of naked sexting. And more and more we’re reading stories of sexting gone wild. Sometimes there’s a criminal prosecution for the distribution of childhood pornography; sometimes schools suspend or expel those found guilty; and always there’s deep embarrassment to the victim (who usually sent the original photo). Believe me, I do understand that sexting is seen as a way to express your love and trust of someone, that it’s a status symbol of being sexually active (some refer to it as an “electronic hickey”), and that you can’t get STDs or get pregnant from sexting. Fine and good. I also know that it isn’t always easy to just say no. As for you, trust your instincts. Just because so many other guys are doing it, that doesn’t mean it’s right or that you should follow suit. If the guy you’re dating keeps pressuring you to reciprocate, think hard about whether this is someone you want to be so involved and intimate with. Even if he claims that he’s “different,” you’re definitely not too young to be cautious, if not suspicious. Say something like, “I’m really not comfortable doing this,” or “My parents are really nosy and watch my texting. They’ll find out.” And what happens if—or when— you break up? Vindictive sexting of an ex’s naked pictures may very well be the new century’s best example of “revenge sex.” One last point: Once a picture hits the Internet, it lives forever. When you apply to college, an admissions officer may come upon it while doing a little background research on you. Ditto when you’re applying for a job. If this happens, you could lose out big time. Just sayin’.
Q: I know that just about everybody Googles a person before going out on a date with them the first time. My question isn’t about the etiquette of that. Instead, I’d like to know what to do about the fact that the first Google result for my name is a nude photo of me, showing my penis, that an ex uploaded a while ago. Do I explain this to a new date before we even go out? Wait for him to bring it up? Pretend like I don’t know it’s there? A: Your question is an interesting twist on the “to Google or not to Google” dilemma. In most dating situations, a good rule of thumb is to avoid dragging out the skeletons during the first date; it just makes for a crowded evening. In your case, though, I’d suggest otherwise, because this photo is likely to be the white elephant of your date. (Of course, it may also be the raison d’être for your date, too!) Sometime during drinks or dinner, say this: “There’s something that I want to explain to you. You may have seen a nude photo of me on the Internet, which was posted by an ex of mine. Please don’t judge a book by its cover. It was a mistake.” Or, if you want to try some humor: “It’s amazing what Photoshop can do!” But while you’re at it, you can do a number of things to push that revealing photo further down on the search page and maybe even onto the second page. Create pages for yourself that will rank higher in the search criteria, thus rising over time to the top of the results. A good place to start is by creating profiles on major services like YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. If you can buy the domain for your name (for instance, I own www.stevenpetrow.com), that will also eventually rank higher in search.
In 2009, a study by the AP and MTV reported that nearly one-fourth of 14 to 17 year olds had been involved in some kind of naked sexting.
Armchair Etiquette Advisor
Be the armchair etiquette advisor and tell me which mom you think is right: “My oldest daughter is now 18 and is going to meet her sperm donor soon. My partner wants her to call him ‘bio dad,’ but I think that’s ridiculous. He’s never met her—how can we even think about him being a ‘dad?’” Send your two cents to ask@gaymanners.com. Steven Petrow is the author of the forthcoming book Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners. You can find him online at www.gaymanners.com.
“In the future, everyone will have a sex tape and it won't be an issue any more. This panic about sexting is really just … a generational paranoia because young people are doing something that old people didn't—because they couldn't—and now can't, because no one wants to see them naked.” - Dan Savage
Viewpoint Discrimination
The term viewpoint discrimination sounds like a technical term; something theoretical you might hear in a journalism class and nowhere else. For LGBT students around the country it stands for something very real and very ugly. The ACLU became aware of the newest form in Internet censorship a few months ago. A student from Virginia emailed them a screen shot from her school’s computer. For those who are not computer savvy, a screen shot is a still picture of whatever is going on on the screen. In this case (see image) not much is going on, because the website is blocked. The site is GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. According to their website, GLSEN’s mission is to “assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.” Wow, we wouldn’t want our kids viewing that, now would we? Apparently someone in the Virginia school system doesn’t want their children to get this message. At first glance this seems like a pretty straight forward case of censorship and discrimination. Notice in the screen shot that it is quite clear that the reason the site is being blocked is because it’s an LGBT site. They also throw in the veiled threat, “your Internet usage is being monitored”. The ACLU has fought this battle before and won. In 2009 they took a school board in Tennessee to court over Internet censorship. They won and brought free access to LGBT sites to schools throughout the district. Alas not throughout the country. As the ACLU researched this current problem however something even more nefarious came to light. Not only did they find several school blocking LGBT websites, they found that they were not blocking all LGBT sites. Sites with negative information about LGBT people were not being blocked. NARTH, National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, the controversial organization that promotes “reparative therapy” to change sexual orientation was exempted from the filter. So was PFOX, Parents and Friends Of Ex-gays. Meanwhile sites with positive messages, site like GLSEN and GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) were blocked. As if that’s not bad enough, sites that reach out to troubled LGBT kids, sites like the TheTrevorProject.org and ItGetsBetter.org were also blocked. And that, my friends, is viewpoint discrimination. The systematic elimination of one point of view in favor of another violates the law and the whole idea of education. We are supposed to be teaching our kids to look at issues critically, to judge both sides and come to a rational conclusion. But when it comes to sexuality or gender, one side of the debate is missing. Students researching sexuality from their school computer system are learning that you can change, you can ‘pray away the
gay’. (Even though this has long been discredited by the American Psychological Association and many others.) They are not learning that it is okay to be gay, that LGBT students can be happy and successful at school. Most importantly they are not being allowed to access sites that tell them harassment and bullying are not okay. Apparently some schools don’t want their students to know that there are things the school can do to lessen the harassment of LGBT students and make their lives better. How deep does this run? Is it one or two schools, or widespread? That is exactly what the ACLU and Yale Law School want to know. They have teamed up and launched the “Don’t Filter me” campaign and you can help. The ACLU is calling on LGBT youth to check their schools Internet. (see list below for which sites to check.) Go to ACLU.org/lgbt-rights/dontfilter-me for more information. They even have a form to submit your results. If any of the sites are blocked, they will contact you about getting screen shots and any evidence they might need. If you are a youth, if you know a youth or you work in the school system consider giving the ACLU a hand. Its our rights they are fighting for, after all.
Sites to check for the don’t filter me campaign Positive LGBT sites
• Day of Silence: dayofsilence.org • It Gets Better Project: itgetsbetter.org • The Trevor Project: thetrevorproject.org • GSA netuwork: gsanetwork.org • Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network: glsen.org
Negative LGBT sites
• National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality: narth.com • People can change: peoplecanchange.com • Parents and Friends of Ex-gays: pfox.org
Sources:
ACLU.org/lgbt-rights/
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Inside Out: Discussing the plumbing by Ellen Krug I recently returned to dating via various computer sites, and I’m encountering the awkward issue of telling suitors that, historically, my plumbing was a bit opposite of what it is now. Liz, my electrologist, and I have been debating about how to best let potential partners know that I’m a “T” in the LGBT alphabet—a post-op male to female. I say that early disclosure is the best policy. By “early,” I mean the second or third email so that the other person has time to ponder the information before responding. After all, time is precious, and neither of us should waste it if my being T is a problem. Liz’s take on this is just the opposite. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your surgeries or prior life… yet. Genetic females don’t talk about their hysterectomies, breast implants, or original hair color in the second Match.com email,” she reasons. Instead, Liz says any potential suitor should get to know my heart and soul first. That way, all of the stereotypes and misinformation about transgenders gets filtered by a first hand impression of me, which hopefully is that of a relatively smart, engaging and (I pray) passable female, voice notwithstanding. This debate with Liz has gone back and forth for a few months. In the meantime, I’ve been experimenting to see which approach works best. For starters, I don’t advertise my T status in my dating site profile. I’m not trying to be deceitful, but
I don’t want to be pigeonholed. Not only am I a woman at this point (actually, I’ve been female in my head throughout my life, only now the outside matches the inside), but I’m a person with varied interests, goals and accomplishments. By reading my profile, you get an idea of Ellen as a person. I’ve been lucky enough to afford the requisite facial surgery and to have a smaller frame, so my profile pictures look undeniably female and fairly attractive. Not dropdead gorgeous, mind you, but someone who can honestly say “athletic and toned.” That helps, as it would for any genetic female. When I disclose that I’m transgendered via email message, I usually start off along the lines of, “Okay now for something out of left field. You know the character Felicity Huffman played in TransAmerica? Well guess what…” I’m quick to explain that I’m “all girl” and quite willing to answer any questions. Surprisingly, I’d say that I’m batting about .500 in terms of going from that shocker to the all important first
meeting in public. Not bad, if you ask me. I’ve employed Liz’s approach a few times, always in public places with unobstructed exits, lest someone get irrational on me. On each of these mini-dates, we’ve sat talking for anywhere from a half hour to two hours before I’ve made the disclosure. I’m thrilled to report that not only did I live through each of these encounters, but in all of the instances where I’ve disclosed in person, my potential suitor was fine with it. On the other hand, none of them ever said, “Are you kidding, I would never have guessed,” so maybe I’m not as passable as I think. Still, all of these people have wanted to see me again. I’d like to think this reflects positively on me, but then again, maybe there are just a lot of hard up people looking for dates out there. Complicating things is that I date both sexes. I’ve actually found people who have more of a problem with me being bisexual than with me being T. As one cute man said, “I just can’t wrap my head around you dating both men and women.” What? But you can wrap it around the fact that I used to look like a guy? I’ve been lucky that women seem to identify with me for my journey. Still, for some lesbians, my fondness for skirts is a deal breaker. As one lesbian told me, “you’re way too femme for me. I need someone more butch.” By all means, please, call me too feminine. Even if it means we’ll never see each other again. Hon, I’ve paid good money to get that moniker, and it sounds like I may have gotten my money’s worth. However, this dating thing has not been all wine and roses. I’ve figured out that some of these dating-site people actually talk to each other about who they’ve corresponded with. Maybe it’s a competition thing, I don’t know. What I do know, flowerlover65, is that I did not appreci-
I’ve actually found people who have more of a problem with me being bisexual than with me being T. As one cute man said, “I just can’t wrap my head around you dating both men and women.” What? But you can wrap it around the fact that I used to look like a guy?
Ellen Krug is a writer, lawyer, human. She was a trial attorney for 28 years before realizing there is more to life. She is now on sabbatical to write a book, and if that does not work out, to wait tables. She is parent to two adult children and hoping for the best, despite the odds. She can be reached at EllenKrug75@gmail.com. ate your message, “Who are you fooling? You’re not even a woman.” Thanks for the commentary, bitch. Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean that. Really. Here’s the reality for me and all other post op Ts just trying to make our way in the dating world. We have a history and it’s not the usual thing associated with drama or bad manners or whatever. It’s more complicated than that. At one time, we physically presented as the other gender only to marry and have children and then accumulate memories and experiences that go with that gender. I mean hell, when I’m meeting someone and they ask about my high school years, I have to catch myself from talking about being a defensive end on the football team. If they want to know about my best friend, it’s a guy I’ve known since 8th grade; men in particular can’t understand how as a woman, I’m best friends with a guy going back so far. Regardless of what method I use to disclose this history, here’s to hoping that my luck continues, and that eventually I meet someone who not only clears the transgender hurdle, but who has the spark and chemistry for us to take it forward. I’m just like everyone else, looking for someone who values me as a person, a human being. Regardless of my present or past plumbing.
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MATTHEW
childhood was somehow scarred. Maybe I have, in some way undetectable to me, been permanently harmed by having two moms. I guess I can’t be sure. The truth is, though— we live pretty boring lives. “It’s just my life. We do chores. We play board games. We get bored. We celebrate Christmas. We mow our lawns and sweep our garages. We have fights, and we have catharsis. We have faith. And, as I pointed out to my Tall Mom the other day, the addition of a marriage certificate to our family doesn’t really feel a whole lot different. (She agreed.)” When it was time for Q&A, it was only natural that someone ask Zach if he thought his career might lead him into politics. Well yes, Zach said, he’d been asked that question before. But having thought about it, “I hope I never have to stoop to the level of being a politician.”
and so on. Which theme are you most proud of? I absolutely love the relationship between Kurt and his father. It’s so beautiful and it’s something that really needs to be seen. I mean, I don’t know how that works being a gay teen—do you have the birds and the bees talk like other people? I thought that was so well handled. Straight guys who watch the show now and do have kids who might be gay, I think they’ll be more equipped to handle that. Did you know any Kurts in school? Oh yeah, for sure. There were a lot of Kurts. I mean, I went to a performing arts high school. I had a college roommate, and I was the first person he came out to. I went to NYU and we lived in this dorm; there were five of us living together and one of them came out to me and just kind of felt comfortable. And I’ve always been very open and accepting of that because I know how hard that is, and I’m a good listener. To this day, there are a lot of Kurts in my life. Some critics have been harsh on the second season of Glee. How do you feel about that? I love this season. There are always going to be naysayers out there, but it’s hard to follow what we did the first season. I actually thought we were going to be in trouble, but this season has been really strong. So, is Lea Michele as much a diva
“It’s just my life. We do chores. We play board games. We get bored. We celebrate Christmas. We mow our lawns and sweep our garages. We have fights, and we have catharsis. We have faith. “ — Zach Wahls, at the First Friday Breakfast Club, April 1, 2011
as people say? No, no. She’s very committed to her job and she’s a very talented girl, and I think sometimes that gets misconstrued. Have you ever been hot for a teacher? For sure. I can’t think of her name, but she was a Spanish teacher. I don’t know if it had something to do with the language, but that’s kind of hot. For the Elton John mash-up, how did you decide on “Rocket Man” and “Mona Lisa and Mad Hatters”? I wanted to pay homage to him and do some of his songs. It actually took a while to pick which ones, but I knew I wanted to mash two together. I was thinking “Tiny Dancer.” The only one Elton didn’t want to do was “Crocodile Rock.” These two just kind of mesh. They don’t when you think about it, but it turned out to be this epic seven-minute song. He was just so game for anything and such a pleasure to work with. He’s such a student of music, and every Tuesday he buys every new artist who comes out. He knows what he’s doing, and it was just cool to be in (the studio) with him. Will you bring your Glee raps to the album? No, no, no. I try to get far away from Glee on this album. Coming from Glee, I thought it was important that I write a lot of my own material. I didn’t want to do just covers, because that would’ve been very Glee-esque, and to be taken seriously as an artist I had to write my own songs. Tell me about the tour. I’m going on a world tour with my
MAY 2011 album, and I’m really looking forward to it. There’s no better way to see the world then to go out and perform and sing. Back in the day, you used to be in a boy band called LMNT. Now that you’re solo, how does it compare? Well, that was just a bad year of my life—and it was in the late ‘90s, when you couldn’t throw a stick and not hit someone in a boy band. It was so manufactured and so cheesy and, as a performer, when you’re on stage and you’re embarrassed to be up there, you know you’re doing the wrong thing. But honestly, that year I was in the boy band, I learned a lot about the recording process, and it really helped me in where I am today—in Glee and in doing this solo project. It was a good experience in that sense. Now, Jane Lynch— Who’s she? (Laughs) What’s she like off-camera? She’s actually my best friend on the show. I’m the closest to her out of everyone. We just have an amazing relationship. I love her to death. I love her wife. And she’s the kindest woman you’ll ever meet. You wouldn’t know based on her Glee character, Sue Sylvester. Exactly! Have her hair jibes caused you personal pain? (Laughs) No, not at all. Everyone gets hammered on the show; no one gets away unscathed. I actually made fun of her hair at some point. Lea’s nose gets made fun of; Cory (Monteith) gets made fun of because he can’t dance. Everyone gets ragged on—it’s just part of being on Glee.
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Twenty Questions interview by Amber Dunham In 2010, high school student Amber Dunham participated in a class assignment to ask someone 20 questions for an LGBT essay. The person Amber chose to ask was Alexis, a transgendered woman from the Iowa City area. Amber’s questions covered Alexis’s definition of transgender, details of Alexis’s life and emotions prior to accepting her desire to be a girl, reactions from family and friends, psychological and medical requirements prior to sexual reassignment surgery, details of sexual reassignment surgery, federal and state document changes after Alexis’s surgery, advice Alexis would give to others, effects of Alexis’s change, and her religious views. Any questions or comments for Alexis can be sent care of this publication to Editor@ACCESSlineIOWA.com. (Continued from April Issue)
Sexual Reassignment in the United have TWO PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATIONS received one of those 250 information States and many other countries is WHICH SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDS letters prior to my initial transition from 4) What goals did/do you have on governed by the Harry Benjamin STAN- SRS OR SPECIFICALLY STATE THAT YOU living as a male to living full-time as a becoming a different sex? DARDS OF CARE FOR GENDER IDENTITY ARE A GOOD CANDIDATE FOR SRS OR female. And, as I mentioned earlier, I was My major goal in seeking the sexual DISORDERS which were first written in ANY SEX CHANGE PROCEDURE SUCH able to get several letters of support for my reassignment surgery was actually quite 1979 and have been AS AUGMENTATION decision to have the surgery from various simple. It is hard to describe the feelings revised five times since. physicians to present to my SRS surgeon. I Personally, I had a diffi- MAMMAPLASTY. that I harbored for some many years as I The Standards of Care These are to be think that my doctors, like many others, are cult time finding a psycholo- done by Psychiatrist or interacting with a transgender person for struggled to live as who everyone thought for Gender Identity I was, but I knew I wasn’t… that I was not Disorders are non-bind- gist or psychiatrist in this Psychologists who are the first time in their lives, and are learning the person I wanted to be. Self image is a ing protocols outlining area that was qualified to recognized, licensed from it. One doctor had known about my major foundation of everyone’s being, and the usual treatment for in the gender situation previously, and had prescribed a work with transgender/ workers if you are not comfortable with your sex, individuals who wish or sex-oriented field. A low dosage of estrogen, but when I sought you are going to have difficulties. I went to undergo hormonal transsexual issues. Gender letter is required from additional and higher dosages, he was not through years of low self esteem, self- or surgical transition identity disorders are not your Endocrinologist willing to do that, and so I then had to find hatred at times, and many years of mental to the other sex. Clinithe history of a doctor who would do that. exactly a common challenge outlining anguish. I affectionately refer to it as “my cians’ decisions regardyour hormone therapy.” I was referred to a certain gynecologist years of hell.” ing patients’ treatment that most people face. Instead, when it came by a friend at work (your mother, actually, I contemplated suicide many times, are often influenced by time for me to present Amber), and I was able to work well with and actually had a three-prong plan guar- this standard of care (SOC). these letters to him, he offered m e the this new physician. Ironically, this choice of anteed to succeed if I ever decided to go Early in the history of sex reassign- opportunity to obtain letters from my doctors has been very beneficial, as I now through with the notion. But for some ment surgery there were some unpleasant medical doctors that would contain the actually have a need to see a gynecologist reason I never lost my will to live. experiences by some who had the surgery specific required wording, and I believe I from time to time. None of my doctors During those years I grew to detest my and regretted it later. And, additionally, by was able to eventually provide him with have ever tried to talk me out of it, and I male parts in a major way. As I mentioned the time that I sought the surgery, I had also letters from 5 local physicians. believe that they have been able to see that before, I had seriously met the requirement Remember that by the time I was ready I am quite comfortable in my new gender, thought about calling Self image is a major foun- that a candidate must to progress toward the sexual reassign- and sex. 911 and then castratlived and worked ment surgery, I had already been living as While we are on the subject of doctors, dation of everyone’s being, have ing myself. I really full-time in their new a female full-time for around 2½ years. I let’s talk about a few other things. When wouldn’t wish my and if you are not comfort- identity. was reasonably well adjusted to my new I go to see one of my doctors, they have experiences on anyone able with your sex, you are Personally, I had a lifestyle, and certainly had no regrets. to decide how to have any tests analyzed, else, as I lived a very time finding a That fact also met another condition of particularly the sex-specific tests. For going to have difficulties. I difficult miserable existence for psychologist or psychi- the Benjamin Standards of Care, which example, though I have had the surgery, went through years of low self atrist in this area that basically require someone to live the role I still have the same lungs, so when I go a long time. I didn’t seek the esteem, self-hatred at times, was qualified to work for at least two years before the SRS. Most in for pulmonary function tests, they still transition for sexual and many years of mental with transgender/ surgeons in the United States and Canada need to be analyzed buy the computer as reasons, surprisingly, transsexual issues. who do perform the surgery do adhere to if I were still a male. If the test is run with as I am fairly asexual anguish. I affectionately refer Gender identity disor- those guidelines, though you can go over- me listed as a female, the results look so and have been for to it as “my years of hell.” ders are not exactly seas, say to Thailand, and have the surgery much better, but not realistic. years. All the many a common challenge performed once you have lived the role for I also think it’s going to be interestyears of struggle with my sexual identity that most people face. Whenever I would only a year. ing if I ever develop prostate problems, as led me to just deciding to avoid sex, period, find someone who would attempt to assist While it is much cheaper to go to Thai- I am sure the computer at the insurance save for the occasional masturbation. me, their initial primary focus was always land for the surgery, company will reject the Summing this up, then, it can readily be on how much I was drinking at the time… I myself just wasn’t I know a lot of girls will claim simply because said that my overriding goal was simply They failed to understand that the reason ready for that. I even do not have say I am crazy for wanting women peace of mind. I was drinking so much was that I wanted had a former friend, a prostates (or at least to escape the unpleasant reality I was truly amazing person the periods, but for myself, not many). 5) Did you have to go through living in at the time. As a result, I had no in many ways, who and others like me… we truly There are also some type of psychological formal psychiatric evaluations before my offered me enough of some gynecological want to be able to be 100% tests that I do not need, therapy before the change and surgery. his frequent flyer miles after the change? If so, what did The doctor who did my surgery to cover my air fare over female—in all ways. or require as often, the therapist say or do? clearly stated in his letter that “ We must and back. But though I simply because the was aware that medical care in Thailand current SRS capabilities do not allow the was quite good, I decided to have the successful transplantation of the female surgery done in the USA primarily because sexual reproductive organs into another of my history of medical challenges. These person—which I regret so much. I would issues, primarily heart and lung problems, love to be able to have those dreaded also required me to obtain a medical clear- monthly periods, and to get pregnant, but ance before the surgery. And even though that’s another story in itself. I obtained it here, the surgeon also had I know a lot of girls will say I am crazy his own physician examine me once I got for wanting the periods, but for myself, and to Neenah, and before the surgery. As a others like me… we truly want to be able to sidebar, would you imagine that the biggest be 100% female—in all ways. It has been obstacle SRS candidates can face is obesity? a wish and hope we have held for so many As it seems that the surgery simply does years, and currently all we can do is come not heal well in obese individuals. close, but not quite be what we truly aspire to achieve. Though I have had the operation, 6) How were the doctors that took in some respects I still cannot escape my care of you? Did they try to talk male past… which I can understand, but you out of it? still consider unfortunate. My doctors have all been able to But, on the other hand, where I am accept my decision. I am certain that some now is a major improvement on where I were skeptical of the idea when they first was even say 10 years ago.
ACCESSline Page 34
Section 3: Community
MAY 2011
ED KELLY: I’m proof God changes hearts and minds
Courtesy of One Iowa Edward L. Kelly Jr, a former pastor, writes about his change of position on marriage equality. In the early 80’s when I began my preaching ministry, I wrote and ranted that not only was homosexuality a sin, but it was an abomination and any civilization permitting it to flourish would perish. I went one step further and declared that the only right a homosexual had was the right to the gallows. In my theocratic theology, there was no room for marriage equality. To be honest, I was a bigot and took great pride in my intolerant views. Now, that is not to say that every Evangelical Christian who opposes same-sex
marriage is a bigot, but I was. I held to a very strict legalistic-literal interpretation of the Leviticus laws. I did not wake up one morning and exclaim, “well, today I think I will support same-sex marriage.” It actually took two decades for the Lord to work at removing the blindfolds from my heart and mind. I call it a slow evolutionary metanoia: a very slow process of minute changes. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic and like so many Catholics in the 60’s, I stopped attending Church after Confirmation. Then in 1975, a Charismatic Lutheran introduced me to the idea of a “personal relationship” with Jesus Christ and after a six months of Bible reading and prayer I had a transcendental encounter which transformed my life. Yet, what began as a simple encounter with God soon lapsed into a very legalistic-condemning faith. My studies led me into the extreme Fundamentalist camp of Christian Reconstruction/Dominion Theology. It goes like this: America is a Christian nation, founded upon Biblical law, and we need to restore this law to America. Every believer is called to bring every aspect of life -- economics, law, health, politics -- into conformity to God’s law, specifically the Old Testament laws. I now consider this theology one of the greatest threats to religious liberty and gay rights in America today. Looking back there were many influences to my “conversion” out of bigotry:
reading outside my theological box, educational courses on Biblical interpretation and modern methods of historical and literary criticism, the Catholic influence, the prayers of my wife and getting to know homosexuals. As a pastor in 1993, someone gave me a book written by Pope John Paul II, and I was very impressed with his emphasis that every single person was created in the image of God and has dignity, and there are rights stemming from that dignity. That idea was the beginning of a theological revolution in my life. I was so impressed I began to study the Catholic faith, and in 2005, I turned in my Protestant ministerial credentials and returned to the faith of my youth. At the height of my anti-gay rhetoric, I did not go near homosexuals. Yet as my theology began to change, God brought several gay professionals into my life. I was impressed with a registered nurse who was so professional and empathic with his patients. Then, about two years ago, I was having
a difficult time finding a good barber in our small town. My wife suggested her hair dresser who I knew to be gay. Well, with some reluctance I went, and now he is not only the only barber I will go to, I also consider him a good friend. Yet, I must add that the most powerful weapon we possess to tear down these walls of religion discrimination is that of prayer. Treating everyone equally is something that cannot be divorced from faith. I do not think I can call myself a Christian unless I am intimately involved in what Jesus was intimately involved in: social justice. I also consider my work writing and speaking for same-sex marriage an overall work of “personal penance,” a distinctive Catholic view that I need to make up for all the evil things I did and said against gay people. Yet I am hopeful about the future for my faith tells me that God is waiting to “come down” with divine justice (Isa 35). My life is proof God will change people’s hearts and minds.
Treating everyone equally is something that cannot be divorced from faith. I do not think I can call myself a Christian unless I am intimately involved in what Jesus was intimately involved in: social justice. I also consider my work writing and speaking for same-sex marriage an overall work of “personal penance,” a distinctive Catholic view that I need to make up for all the evil things I did and said against gay people.
MAY 2011 SScontinued from page 10
US NEWS Many more women than men say they are bisexual. Gates also found that 8.2 percent of American adults “report that they have engaged in same-sex sexual behavior” and 11 percent “acknowledge at least some same-sex sexual attraction.” In response to the data, some LGBT activists and commentators said that surveying people about gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender identity, behavior or feelings results in an undercount of the LGBT population because many people do not answer honestly.
Section 3: Community Arkansas adoption ban struck down Arkansas’ Supreme Court on April 7 struck down a voter-passed law that banned unmarried individuals who have a sexual relationship with a live-in partner from adopting or fostering children. Upholding a lower-court ruling, the Supreme Court said the ban violates the state constitution’s guarantee of a right to privacy. “We hold that a fundamental right to privacy is at issue in this case and that, under the Arkansas Constitution, sexual cohabitors have the right to engage in private, consensual, noncommercial intimacy in
the privacy of their homes,” the court said. “Act 1 directly and substantially burdens the privacy rights of ‘opposite-sex and same-sex individuals’ who engage in private, consensual conduct in the bedroom by foreclosing their eligibility to foster or adopt children, should they choose to cohabit with their sexual partner.” In arriving at its decision, the court applied “heightened scrutiny,” a standard that increases the likelihood of a law’s being found unconstitutional. “This ruling is a relief for the over 1,600 children in the state of Arkansas who need a permanent family,” said Rita Sklar, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Arkansas, which had filed suit on behalf of children, parents and couples affected by the law. The Arkansas decision leaves Mississippi and Utah as the only states that ban unmarried couples from adopting.
Maryland trans rights bill dies
A transgender nondiscrimination bill that had passed the Maryland House of Delegates died in the Senate on April 11. Senators voted 27-20 to return it to committee. The development took state LGBT activists by surprise, as they believed they had lined up the needed votes for passage. In the end, 16 Democrats voted with the majority. “Senators … took a walk on justice and fairness today and turned their backs on the
ACCESSline Page 35 most vulnerable members of our community,” said Equality Maryland Executive Director Morgan Meneses-Sheets. National Gay & Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Rea Carey added, “Without legal protections, transgender people are made particularly vulnerable to … neglect, bias and abuse.”Prop 8 judge comes out to reporters The judge who struck down California’s Proposition 8 last August came out to reporters April 6 in San Francisco. Former U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker also said he’s in a relationship with a doctor. Walker said his sexuality was irrelevant to his handling of the Prop 8 case, and that things such as gender, ethnicity and national origin also should not affect which cases judges hear. Walker’s strikedown of Prop 8, which amended the state constitution in 2008 to re-ban same-sex marriage, is on appeal to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. The case has been delayed because the people who were sued—including California’s governor and attorney general—have no interest in defending Prop 8. As a result, the people who put Prop 8 on the ballot have intervened in the case to defend it, but it’s unclear at this time if they have legal “standing” to defend the amendment in federal court. The 9th Circuit recently asked the California Supreme Court for its opinion on the “standing” question. The California court is not expected to give an answer until late this year at the soonest. Assistance: Bill Kelley
ACCESSline Page 36 DIRECTORY NOTICE The ACCESSline community directory is updated each issue. LISTINGS ARE FREE but are limited by space. Free online listings are available at www.ACCESSlineIOWA.com. Information about new listings must contain a phone number for publication and a contact (e-mail address, land address, or website) for our records. For more information or to provide corrections, please contact Editor@ACCESSlineIOWA.com or call (319) 550-0957.
NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005 www.victoryfund.org. 202-VICTORY [842-8679] Human Rights Campaign National political organization, lobbies congress for lesbian & gay issues, political training state and local www.hrc.org 1-800-777-HRCF[4723] Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund I I E. Adams, Suite 1008, Chicago, IL 60603 www.lambdalegal.org 312-663-4413 Fax: 312-663-4307 MortgageLoan.com Housing & Mortgages for Gay & Lesbian Couples, http://www.mortgageloan.com/lgbt/ National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) 1325 Massachusetts Ave NW, Ste 600, Washington, DC, 20005 www.ngltf.org / taskforce.org National Organization for Women (NOW) 733 15th ST NW, 2nd Floor Washington, DC 20005 www.now.org 202-628-8669 PFLAG National Offices 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005 info@pflag.org - www.pflag.org 202-467-8180 The Trevor Lifeline The Trevor Project operates the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. Each year, our lifeline fields more than 30,000 calls from LGBTQ youth as well as their families, friends and educators. (866) 4-U-TREVOR - (866) 488-7386 Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year All calls are toll-free and confidential
STATE ORGANIZATIONS Equality Iowa P.O. Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125 www.equalityiowa.org 515-537-3126 Faithful Voices Interfaith Alliance of Iowa’s marriage equality project. www.faithfulvoices.org Imperial Court of Iowa Non-profit fundraising & social, statewide organization with members from across the State of Iowa. PO Box 1491, Des Moines, IA 50306-1491 www.imperialcourtofiowa.org Iowa Chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) Janis Bowden, President, IA NOW janleebow@aol.com PO Box 41114, Des Moines, IA 503111 Iowa Gay Rodeo Association (IAGRA) 921 Diagonal Rd, Malcom, IA 50157 polebender60@yahoo.com 641-990-1411 Iowa PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gay) State Council PO Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125 http://community.pflag.org/Page. aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2 515-537-3126 or 641-583-2024 Iowa Pride Network 777 Third Street, Suite 312, Des Moines, Iowa 50309 Iowapridenetwork.org Executive Director: 515-471-8062 Outreach Coordinator: 515-471-8063 LGBT Youth in Iowa Schools Task Force PO Box 1997, Des Moines, 50306 515-243-1221
Section 3: Community Ames First United Methodist Church 516 Kellogg Ave, Ames, IA 50010 Contemporary worship Sat. 5:30; Sun at 8:30 and 11:00am. www.acswebnetworks.com/firstunitedmcames/ 515-232-2750 Living with HIV Program 126 S. Kellogg, Suite 1 Ask for Janelle (Coordinator) 515-956-3312 ext 106 or I -800-890-8230 ISU LGBTA Alliance GLBT Support, Activism, Social Events, Newsletter L East Student Office Space 2229 Lincoln Way, Ames, IA 50014-7163 alliance@iastate.edu http://www.alliance.stuorg.iastate.edu 515-344-4478 Lord of Life Lutheran 2126 Gable Lane, Ames 50014 Services Sundays at 9:00a.m.; Wed. 7:00pm. 515-233-2350 PFLAG Ames Youth and Shelter Services Offices 2328 Bristol Drive, Ames, IA 5001 2nd Tuesday, 7pm www.pflagames.org 515-291-3607 Romantics Pleasure Palace 117 Kellogg Street, Ames, IA 50010-3315 http://www.romantixonline.com 515-232-7717 United Church of Christ-Congregational 6th & Kellogg, Ames, 50010 Sunday Continental Breakfast, 9:00am; Sunday School, 9:30am; Worship 10:45am. uccames@midiowa.net. 515-232-9323 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Ames 1015 Hyland Ave. Services: 9:30 am and 11:30 am, Sunday www.uufames.org uufa@aol.com 515-292-5960 Unity Church of Ames 226 9th St. Sunday service and Sunday school 10:30am. Wednesday mediation 6:30pm, . www.websyt/unity/ames Daily dial-a-blessing 515-233-1613
Arnolds Park, Okoboji, Spencer, Spirit Lake The Royal Wedding Chapel 504 Church Street, Royal, IA 51357 712-933-2223 www.TheRoyalWeddingChapel.com Wilson Resource Center An Iowa Great Lakes area gay-owned nonprofit community based organization. PO Box 486, 597 W. Okoboji Rd., Arnolds Park IA 51331-0486 F.JosephWilson@aol.com. www.wilsonresource.org 712-332-5043
BURLINGTON Arrowhead Motel 2520 Mount Pleasant St Burlington, IA 52601-2118 319-752-6353 www.arrowheadia.com HIV/AIDS Screening @ Des Moines County Health Department in Burlington 522 N 3rd By appointment between 8:00am to 4:30 319-753-8217 Confidential RISQUES IV (adult store) 421 Dry Creek Ave, West Burlington, IA 52601 (319) 753-5455 Sun - Wed 8am-Midnight Thurs - Sat Open 24 Hours www.LoversPlayground.com Steve’s Place 852 Washington St, Burlington 319-754-5868 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Services start at 10:30 am 625 N 6th St, Burlington, IA 52601-5032 (319) 753-1895 - www.uuburlington.org
Cedar Falls - Waterloo Adult Cinema 315 E 4th St Waterloo, IA 50703-4703 (319) 234-7459
One Iowa 500 East Locust St, Ste 300 Des Moines, IA 50309 515-288-4019 Fax: 515-244-5846 www.OneIowa.org
Black Hawk Co. Health Department Free HIV testing (donations accepted); MW, 1:00pm to 3:00pm; Thurs, 1:00pm to 4:45pm 1407 Independence Ave. (5th fl) Waterloo 50703 319-291 -2413
Stonewall Democrats of Iowa 5 Creekside Ct Mason City, IA 50401 Contact: Harvey Ross HRoss007@aol.com 319-362-3099
Cedar AIDS Support System (CASS) Service, support groups & trained volunteers for persons with HIV/AIDS in Waterloo/CF call Elizabeth or Karla, 319-272-AIDS(2437). cvhospice@forbin.net
Cedar Valley Counseling Services Promoting personal growth and development in a strengths-based environment Joan E. Farstad, MA, Director. 319-240-4615 www.cvcounseling.com farstd@cvcounseling.com. Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. In Lutheran Center 2616 College St, Cedar Falls, IA 319-415-5747 mcdinoiwa@aol.com www.episcopalcampus.org Community AIDS Assistance Project (CAAP) Funding for special personal needs, community projects, and small grants that are AIDS related. PO Box 36, Waterloo, IA 50704 LGBTA Support Group at Hawkeye Community College Call Carol at 319-296-4014 for time & location of meeting chedberg@hawkeyecollege.edu Iowa Legal Aid Free civil legal service available to low income persons who qualify under income/asset guidelines. 607 Sycamore, #206, Waterloo, IA 50703 1-800-772-0039 or 319-235-7008 Kings & Queens Tap 304 W. 4th St, Waterloo, IA www.//myspace.com/kingsandqueensspace 319-232-3001 Romantix Waterloo (Adult Emporium) 1507 La Porte Rd, Waterloo, IA 50702 319-234-9340 http://www.romantixonline.com/ Stellas Guesthouse 324 Summit Ave, Waterloo, IA Private B&B, Overnight accommodations for adults only. 319-232-2122 St. Lukes Episcopal Church 2410 Melrose Dr, Cedar Falls, IA 50613 www.st-lukes-episcopal.org Services: Sunday 8:00 & 10:15, Thurs 11:30 319-277-8520 St. Timothys United Methodist Church 3220 Terrace Drive, Cedar Falls, 50613 sttims-umc.org, 319-266-0464, info@sttimsumc-org, Contact Rev. Linda Butler “... welcome of all persons, including those of all sexual orientations and gender identities.” Together For Youth 233 Vold Dr, Waterloo, IA 50703 www.TogetherForYouth.net 319-274-6768 UNI-LGBTA Alliance-Student Organization 244A Bartlet Hall, University of Northern Iowa Cedar Falls 50613 lgbta@uni.edu 319-222-0003 United Church of Christ Cedar Falls 9204 University Avenue, Cedar Falls 319-366-9686 Unitarian Universalist Society of Black Hawk County 3912 Cedar Heights Dr, Cedar Falls, IA 319-266-5640
Cedar Rapids/marion Adult Shop 630 66th Ave SW, 319-362-4939 Adult Shop North 5539 Crane Lane, 319-294-5360 Cedar Rapids Unity (Formerly GLRC of Cedar Rapids) Support, social activities. lnfo@crglrc.org, cedarrapidsunity.org or write to PO Box 1643 Cedar Rapids 52406-1643 Call and leave a message—all calls will be returned. 319-366-2055 Christ Episcopal Church “We have a place for you.” 220 40th Street NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404 319-363-2029 www.ChristEpiscopal.org Club Basix Open 5pm to 2am M-F, Sat & Sun 3pm-2am 3916 1st Ave NE, Cedar Rapids 319-363-3194
CSPS Legion Arts Contemporary Arts Center 1103 3rd St. SE info@legionarts.org 319-364-1580 Eden United Church of Christ 351 8th Ave SW, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 (319) 362-7805 Sunday School 9am - Worship 10:15am Faith UMC 1000 30th Street NE, Cedar Rapids, 52402 Sunday services at 11:00am. www.crfaithumc.org 319-363-8454 Foundation 2 Crisis Counseling 24-hour telephone crisis counseling. f2crisis@aol.com or www.f2online.org 1540 2nd Ave. SE Cedar Rapids, IA 319-362-2174 or 800-332-4224 Linn County Public Health 501 13th NW Free confidential HIV testing, 319-892-6000 Linn County Stonewall Democrats 2nd Wednesday of every month, 6:30-8 p.m. The LGBT Caucus of the Democratic Party, meets at March 9 we will be at the Kirkwood Hotel Lobby Cafe.After that we may go back to Blue Strawberry downtown, but we need time to check our options. For more info, contact linnstonewall@ gmail.com Rapid AIDS Grant Wood Area Red Cross 3600 Rockwell Dr NE, Cedar Rapids, 52410 319-393-9579. People’s Church Unitarian Universalist A welcoming congregation. 600 Third Avenue SE 11am Sunday. 319-362-9827 PFLAG CR, Linn Co and Beyond Meets at Coffee Talk Cafe 37 Kirkwood Court SW Cedar Rapids, IowaContact Person: Diane Peterson Phone: 319-362-9827 6:30pm on the 4th Thursdays except months like November. (Email ddpeters57@gmail.com for alternate dates.) Stonewall Democrats of Linn County Contact Roy Porterfield, meet 2nd Wednesday of the Month, 6:30-8pm, For the February 9 meeting we will be at Coffee Talk Cafe on 37 Kirkwood Court Southwest, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404. That’s next to Kirkwood Blvd just south of Hwy 30 on the left. royboycr@mchsi.com, 319-362-5281 Toxic Nightclub 616 Second Ave SE, Cedar Rapids Tri-ess, Iota Kappa Phi Chapter P.O. Box 8605, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52408 We are a transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. www.yahoo.com/group/Tri-essIotaKappaPhi www.tri-ess.org, 319-390-6376 E-mail: Georgia georgia523@yahoo.com E-mail: Judy marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Unity Center of Cedar Rapids “A center of positive, practical Christianity.” 3791 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids www.unitycr.org - (319) 393-5422
CLINTON Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Clinton 309 30th Avenue North, Clinton, IA 52732 (563) 242-4972 - uuclinton.org Sunday services at 10:30 (year-round) Where YOUR spiritual and ethical journey is welcome! Rev. Ruby Nancy, minister
Council Bluffs, Omaha (Ne) AIDS Interfaith Network 100 N. 62nd, Omaha, NE Call Br. Wm. Woeger 402-558-3100 Broadway Joe’s 3400 W Broadway, Council Bluffs, IA 51501 712-256-2243 Citizens For Equal Protection 1105 Howard St, Suite #2, Omaha, NE 68102 www.cfep-ne.org - info@cfep-ne.org 402-398-3027 Council Bluffs NOW Write PO Box 3325, Omaha, NE 68103-0325
Coe Alliance Education, activism & fun for GLBTQ and straight students, staff and people from the community. Coe College 1220 First Ave NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402 For information contact: coealliance@coe.edu or Erica Geers, faculty advisor at 319-861-6025
DC’s Saloon 610 S. 14th St., Omaha, NE Open everyday 2pm-1am, western/levi/leather. 402-344-3103
Community Health Free Clinic 947 14th Avenue SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401 319-363-0416 www.communityhfc.org Free Medical Services provided for the uninsured and underserved patients of Cedar Rapids, Marion and the surrounding areas in Eastern Iowa.
GLBT Rainbow Outreach Omaha Serving GLBT community in eastern Nebraska and western Iowa. Excellent message and info. Also office for Imperial court of Nebraska. 1719 Leavenworth St, Omaha, NE www.rocc.org - 402-341-0330
Front Runners/Front Walkers Walking/jogging club. P.O. Box 4583, Omaha, NE 68104 402-496-3658.
MAY 2011 Heartland Gay Rodeo Association (HGRA) (Midwest Division of the International Gay Rodeo Association) PO Box 3354, Omaha, NE 68103 www.hgra.net - 402-203-4680 HGRA serves both Iowa and Nebraska Imperial Court of Nebraska P.O. Box 3772, Omaha, NE 68103 402-556-9907 Inclusive Life “Religious and Non religious care, services and ceremonies for all!”, 105 S. 49 Street, Suite E, Omaha, NE 68132, (402) 575-7006, http://inclusifelife.org The Max 1417 Jackson at 15th, Omaha, NE 68102 6 bars in 1 - 402-346-4110 MCC Omaha 819 South 22nd, Omaha, NE 68103 Sun 9 & 11 am Wednesday “ReCharge” Worship, Wed 7pm 402-345-2563 PFLAG Omaha Mead Hall, First United Methodist Church 7020 Cass St. (Omaha) 2nd Thursday, 7, 6:30 Social time 402-291-6781 River City Mixed Chorus Gay/lesbian chorus PO Box 3267 Omaha, NE 68103 Call Stan Brown, marketing 402-341-7464. Romantix Council Bluffs (North) (Adult Emporium) 3216 1st Ave, Council Bluffs, IA 51501-3353 http://www.romantixonline.com 515-955-9756 Tri-ess Chapter, Kappa Phi Lambda Chapter Omaha, NE 68107 We are a transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. www.tri-ess.org, 402-960-9696 E-mail: Judy marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Romantix Council Bluffs (South) (Romantix After Dark) 50662 189th St, Council Bluffs, IA 51503 http://www.romantixonline.com 712-366-1764 Youth Support Group for GLBT Youth 13-21, meets twice monthly. Omaha, NE - 402-291- 6781
Decorah Decorah Human Rights Commission Contact: City Clerk 400 Clairborne Dr, Decorah 563-382-3651 Meetings: First Tuesdays, 5:30pm Luther College Student Congregation Contact Office for College Ministry 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101 563-387-1040. PFLAG Northeast IA (Waukon/Decorah) Beginning May 23rd: meeting at Northeast Iowa Peace and Justice Center, 119 Winnebago Street, Decorah, IA (lower level), corner of Winnebago and Main Street Meetings: 4th Mondays, 7pm-9pm Call Jean @ 563-535-7680 PRIDE Luther College Diversity Center, 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101 Contact Chris at 563-387-2145 or Melanie at 563-387-1273 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Meets alternating Sundays at 10:30am, Decorah Senior Center 806 River St Call Bill at 563-382-3458.
Des Moines AIDS Project of Central Iowa Free HIV testing, prevention supplies, care services, food pantry, information. 711 E. 2nd, Des Moines, IA 50309 515-284-0245 Blazing Saddle 416 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA - 515-246-1299 www.theblazingsaddle.com Buddies Corral 418 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA - 515-244-7140 The CENTER 1300 Locust The new LGBT and progressive place to be. thecenterdm@gmail.com Facebook: The CENTER & Equality Iowa www.equalityiowa.org 515-243-0313 Church of the Holy Spirit-MCC Pastor Pat Esperanza Sunday service 10:30am at the 1st Christian Church 2500 University, Des Moines chsmccdmia@aol.com 515-287-9787
MAY 2011 Des Moines Diversity Chorus [A gay-friendly mixed chorus] Rehearsals on Mondays at 7 p.m. at Westminster Presbyterian Church, Beaver Ave. at Franklin St., Des Moines. All are welcome, no auditions. PO Box 65312, West Des moines, IA 50265 Julie Murphy, Artistic Director jahmurphy@hotmail.com, 515-255-3576, desmoinesdiversitychorus.org Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus 515-953-1540 4126 Ingersoll Ave., Des Moines administrator@dmgmc.org Family Practice Center Safe, supportive LGBT health care. 200 Army Post Road, Ste 26 www.ppgi.org 515-953-7560 First Friday Breakfast Club Educational breakfast club for gay/bisexual men. Meets first Friday of each month. Contact Jonathan Wilson for meeting topic and place. 515-288-2500 info@ffbciowa.org www.ffbciowa.org First Unitarian Church 1800 Bell Avenue Services Sundays at 9:30 & 11am 515-244-8603, www.ucdsm.org The Gallery (adult store) 1000 Cherry St Des Moines, IA 50309-4227 (515) 244-2916 Open 24 Hours www.LoversPlayground.com The Garden 112 SE 4th Des Moines, IA 515-243-3965 Wed-Sun. 8pm-2am www.grdn.com Gay & Lesbian AA & AI-Anonymous Mon. 7 pm; Tues. - Thurs. 6 pm; Sat. 5:30 pm at Drake Ministries in Ed. Bldg. 28th & University Gay and Lesbian Issues Committee 4211 Grand Avenue, Level-3 Des Moines, IA 50312 515-277-1117 Java Joe’s Gay friendly 214 4th St. , 515-288-5282, www.javajoescoffeehouse.com Lavender Victory Fund Financial assistance for women in need for medical emergencies. lavendervf@aol.com Le Boi Bar 508 Indianola Rd, Des Moines, IA Liberty Gifts 333 E. Grand Ave., Loft 105, Des Moines, IA Gay owned specialty clothing, jewelry, home decor. 515-508-0825 MINX Show Palace 1510 NE Broadway, Des Moines, IA 50313 Open m-th noon-2 a.m., f noon-3 am., sat 3 p.m.-e a.m. 515-266-2744 North Star Gay Rodeo Association of IGRA, Iowa Division of North Star NSGRA@NSGRA.org or 612-82-RODEO Rainbow Union, Drake University ru@drake.edu Ray Perry Law Firm 515-279-2244 Free Initial Consultation PFLAG Des Moines 515-243-0313, 1300 Locust , Des Moines, IA 50312 Plymouth Congregational UCC Church and the Plymouth GLBT Community 4126 Ingersoll Ave. 515-255-3149 Services at 9am & I lam Sunday. www.PlymouthGLBT.com Polk County Health Department Free STD, HIV, and Hepatitis B & C testing. HIV. Rapid testing also offered. 1907 Carpenter, Des Moines, IA 515-286-3798. Pride Alliance, AIB College of Business Gay and straight students celebrating diversity Contact: Mike Smith, Advisor PrideAlliance@aib.edu www.aib.edu/pride Raccoon River Resort Accommodations for men, women, or mixed in campgrounds, lodge, Teepees or Treehouses. Reservations: 515-996-2829 or 515-279-7312 Ritual Café On 13th between Grand and Locust. Gay owned great music, awesome food and coffee. 515-288-4872 ritualcafe@aol.com - ritualcafe.com Romantix North Des Moines Iowa (Bachelor’s Library) 2020 E Euclid Ave, Des Moines, IA 50317 www.romantixonline.com 515-266-7992 Spouses of Lesbians & Gays Support group for spouses of gays and lesbians. 515-277-7754
Section 3: Community St. John’s Lutheran Church 600 6th Ave “A Church for All People.” Services Sat 5pm, Sun 7:45, 8:45 & 11am. See web page for other services. 515-243-7691 - www.StJohnsDSM.org TransformationsIOWA Monthly meetings for the female to male, male to female, transgender community, cross dressers, gender queer, questioning, and their significant others. For location and info, email at r.eliason@hotmail.com or call 515-979-6959 Trinity United Methodist Church 1548 Eighth Street - 515-288-4056 Services Sundays at 10am, www.trinityumcdm.org Urbandale UCC An open & affirming congregation. 3530 70th St., Urbandale, IA 50322 515-276-0625, www.urbucc.org Walnut Hills UMC Join us at 8:30 or 10:45am for Sunday worship. Sunday classes and group studies are at 9:30am. 515-270-9226 12321 Hickman Rd, Urbandale, IA 50323 www.whumc.org Westminster Presbyterian Church 4114 Allison Ave - www.WestPres.org Sunday services 8:45 and 11am. Of note is their GAY-LESBIAN-STRAIGHT AFFIRMATION GROUP, GLSA 515-274-1534 Women’s Culture Collective (WCC) A lesbian social group. Des Moines, IA - www.iowawcc.org Zanzibar’s Coffee Adventure Open daily. Gay-friendly 2723 Ingersoll, Des Moines, IA 515-244-7694
Dubuque Adult Warehouse 975 Jackson St., Dubuque, IA 563-588-9184. Dubuque Friends Worship Group (Quakers) Join us at an unprogrammed meeting on Sunday at 10am. Open and Affirming St. Mark’s Community Center 1201 Locust Street, Dubuque, Iowa 52001 563-582-0220, www.smcdbq.org PFLAG Dubuque St. John’s Lutheran Church 1276 White St. 3rd Thursday, 7pm 563-581-4606 or 563-503-5850 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Dubuque 1699 Iowa St., Dubuque, IA “The uncommon denomination.” general services at 10am. www.uuf-dbq.org 563-583-9910
ELKADER Bethany Church (ELCA) 307 3rd St NE, Elkader IA 52043 Pastor Jim Klosterboer 563-245-1856 www.alpinecom.net/~bethanychurch bethanychurch@alpinecom.net Inclusive. Welcoming. Discover the Difference. Bethany is a Reconciling in Christ congregation of LC/NA Schera’s Restaurant and Bar 107 S Main St, Elkader, IA 52043 563-245-1992 Scheras.com E-mail: info@scheras.com Fine dining featuring Algerian & American Cuisine. Voted Best Mediterranean Restaurant in Eastern Iowa on KCRG TV-9’s A*List.
Fort Dodge Romantix Fort Dodge (Mini Cinema) Sun-Thu 10am-12am, Fri & Sat 10am-2am 515-955-9756 15 N. 5th St, Fort Dodge, IA 50501-3801 RomantixOnline.com
Grinnell Saints Ephrem & Macrina Orthodox Mission. Welcoming worship in the Eastern Christian liturgical tradition. Sunday services at 10am. (Affiliated with the Orthodox-Catholic Church of America.) Divine Liturgy is served Sundays during the College academic year 1:30 p.m., Herrick Chapel, Grinnell College Campus 1226 Broad Street, Grinnell, IA 641-236-0936 Stonewall Resource Center Open 4:30pm to 11:30pm, Sun through Thurs and by Appointment. Grinnell College 1210 Park Street PO Box B-1, Grinnell, IA, 50112 srcenter@grinnell.edu 641-269-3327
INDIANOLA Crossroads United Church of Christ (UCC) An Open & affirming congregation. Services: Sunday 10:30am, Summer worship: June, July, Aug, @ 9:30 am, worshiping in the Lounge at Smith Chapel, Simpson College, corner of Buxton and Clinton. Mailing address: P.O. Box 811, Indianola, IA 50125 515-961-9370. www.crossroadsucc.org
Iowa City AA (GLBT) 319-338-9111 Meetings Sundays 5 - 6pm at First Baptist Church, 500 North Clinton Street. For more info, call IC Intergroup Answering Service, Congregational Church UCC An Open and Affirming Congregation Sunday Worship 10:15 a.m. 30 N. Clinton St. (across from Ul Pentacrest) 319-337-4301 - www.uiccic.org Counseling Clinic 319-354-6238 Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender sensitive and supportive counseling for individuals, couples, families and groups. Sliding Fee. 505 E Washington St., Iowa City, IA 52240 Counseling and Health Center 319-337-1679 Client-centered therapy. Les-Bi-Gay-Trans always welcome. 616 Bloomington St, Iowa City, IA Crisis Center 319-351-0140 1121 Gilbert Court, Iowa City, 52240 Emma Goldman Clinic 227 N. Dubuque St, Iowa City, IA 52245 319-337-2111or 1-800-848-7684. Faith United Church of Christ 1609 De Forest Street, Iowa City, IA Services Sundays at 9:30am 319-338-5238 GLBTAU-U of lA Student support system and resource center, info, activism, events, and other community involvements. 203 IMU, University of IA Iowa City, IA 52242-1317 glbtau@uiowa.edu 319-335-3251 (voice mail) Hope United Methodist Church Worship Service at 9:30am. 2929 E. Court St., Iowa City, IA Contact Rev. Sherry Lohman. 319-338-9865 Human Rights Commission (City of Iowa City Human Rights Commission) 319-356-5022; 391-356-5015; 319-356-5014 Fax 319-887-6213 humanrights@iowa-city.org ICARE (Iowa Center for AIDS Resources & Education) Practical & emotional support, youth programs, information, referrals and support groups. 3211 E 1st Iowa City, IA 52240-4703 319-338-2135 Iowa City Free Medical Clinic Free & strictly confidential HIV Testing. 2440 Towncrest Dr Iowa City, Call for appointment 319-337-4459 Iowa City NOW PO Box 2944, Iowa City, IA 52244 for information & meeting times/places Iowa Women’s Music Festival P.O. Box 3411, Iowa City, IA 52244 319-335-1486 Men Supporting Men 319-356-6038, Ext 2 HIV prevention program exploring issues that gay/bisexual men deal with on a daily basis. Discussion Groups, Educational Series, Safer Sex Workshops, Book Club. Contact Andy Weigel, email: aweigel@co.johnson.ia.us New Song Episcopal Church 912 20th Ave, Coralville, IA Sunday services at 10am. Rev. Elizabeth Coulter, Pastor Rev. John Harper, Associate. 319-351-3577 Pride Committee WRAC 130 N. Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 Bridget Malone - 319-338-0512 Charles Howes - 319-335-1486. Romantix Iowa City (Pleasure Palace I) 315 Kirkwood Ave, Iowa City, IA 52240-4722 www.romantixonline.com 319-351-9444 Studio 13 13 S. Linn St. (in the Alley) Iowa City, IA Open 7pm ‘til 2am, daily 319-338-7145 Thich Nhat Hanh based “Mindfulness” meditation and study group Iowa City Public Library, Sundays 1 to 2:30pm Usually Room E 319-354-4065 U of I Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Staff & Faculty Association c/o WRAC, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242, 19-335-1486
Unitarian Universalist Society of Iowa City Inclusive and free religious community nurturing intellectual and spiritual growth and fostering ethical and social responsibility. 10 S. Gilbert, Iowa City, IA Sunday services: 9:30am & 11:15am. www.uusic.org 319-337-3443 United Action for Youth (UAY) A GLBTQA youth group providing support and counseling for teenagers and young adults processing sexual identity issues. Meets Mondays 7-9pm at UAY 410 Iowa Ave. Iowa City, IA 319-338-7518 or Teen Line, 319-338-0559. The Ursine Group Bear Events in the Midwest. PO Box 1143, Iowa City, IA 52244-1143 319-338-5810 Vortex Gifts 211 E. Washington, downtown Iowa City 319-337-3434 Women’s Resource Action Center (WRAC) Leads & collaborates on projects that serve U of l and the greater community, offers social & support services, including LGBT Coming Out Group. University of Iowa 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 319-335-1486
Marshalltown Adult Odyssey (Adult Video Store) 907 Iowa Ave E - 641-752-6550 Domestic Violence Alternatives/ Sexual Assault Center, Inc., 132 W Main St. 24 hour Crisis Line: 641-753-3513 or (instate only) 800-779-3512
MASON CITY Cerro Gordo County Dept. of Public Health 22 N. Georgia Ave, Ste 300 Mason City, IA 50401. Free confidential AIDS testing. 641-421-9321 PFLAG North Iowa Chapter 641-583-2848, pflagmcni@yahoo.com, Carlos O’Kelly’s Mexican Cafe @ 7 p.m. Wed.
Mount Vernon Alliance Cornell College 810 Commons Cir # 2035 alliance@cornellcollege.edu orgs.cornellcollege.edu/alliance/
Pella Common Ground (Central College) Support group for GLBT students and allies. Contact: Brandyn Woodard, Director of Intercultural Life woodardb@central.edu 641-628-5134
Quad Cities AIDS Project Quad Cities Info, education & support. Davenport, IA 52804, www.apqc4life.org 319-762-LIFE Augie’s Tap 313 20th St, Rock Island (IL) Noon - 3am daily. 309-788-7389 Black Hawk College Unity Alliance Serving GLBT community at Black Hawk College. 6600 34th Ave, Rock Island, IL 309-716-0542. Connections Nightclub 563-322-1121 822 W 2nd St, Davenport, IA 52802 DeLaCerda House 309-786-7386 Provides housing & supportive services, advocacy and referrals for people living with HIV/ AIDS. P.O. Box 4551, Rock Island, Il. 61201 Good Samaritan Free Clinic 602 35th Avenue Moline, IL 309-797-4688 gsfc@mchsi.com - Provides free primary medical care to patients age 16-64 who are working but have no medical insurance. Patients are seen by volunteer physicians, nurss practicioners, and physician assistants. www.GoodSamaritanFreeClinic.org The Hole-In-The-Wall 309-289-2375 A Private Membership Men’s Club Located 3 miles east of Galesburg, IL just north of I-74 at Exit 51 www.HoleInTheWallMensClub.org Holy Spirit Catholic Faith Community Meets one Sunday per month for Mass at 6:30pm at MCC-QC 3019 N. Harrison St, Davenport, IA Mailing: PO Box 192 East Moline, IL 61244 For more info, call 309-278-3359 Mary’s On 2nd 563-884-8014 832 W. 2nd St. Davenport, IA MCC Quad Cities - Svcs Sat 5pm, Sun 11am Bible study Wed 7pm 563-324-8281 3019 N Harrison, Davenport, IA 52803 Men’s Coming Out/Being Out Group Meets 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 7pm. QCAD.OutForGood@GMail.com 309-786-2580
ACCESSline Page 37 PFLAG Quad Cities 563-285-4173 Eldridge United Methodist Church 604 S.2nd St., Eldridge 1st Monday, 6:30 pm Prism (Augustana College) 309-794-7406 Augustana Gay-Straight Alliance Augustana Library 639 38th St, Rock Island, IL Contact Tom Bengston Quad Citians Affirming Diversity (QCAD) Social & support groups for lesbian, bi, and gay teens, adults, friends & families; newsletter. 309-786-2580 - Community Center located at 1608 2nd Ave, Rock Island. Quad Cities Pride Chorus At the MCC Church in D’port, 7pm Wed. qcswede64@aol.com Call Don at 563-324-0215 Rainbow Gifts www.rainbowgifts.net 309-764-0559 T.R. Video Adult books & video 3727 Hickory Grove Rd, Davenport, IA 563-386-7914 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Quad Cities Sunday Service 11am 3707 Eastern Avenue, Davenport, IA 52807 563-359-0816 Venus News (Adult) 902 W 3rd St, Davenport, IA 563-322-7576
Red Oak First Congregational United Church of Christ 608 E Reed St, Red Oak, IA 51566 (712) 623-2794 Rev. Elizabeth Dilley, Pastor uccwebsites.net/firstcongredoakia.html firstconguccredoak@yahoo.com Open and affirming.
SHENANDOAH PFLAG Shenandoah 712-899-2743
Sioux City Am. Business & Professional Guild. Gay Businessmen. Meets last Sat. of the month; ABPG P. O. BOX 72, Sioux City, 51102 abpguild@yahoo.com Grace United Methodist Church 1735 Morningside Avenue 712-276-3452. Jones Street Station (Bar) 712-258-6922 412 Jones St. Nightly 6:00pm to 2:00am. Mayflower Congregational Church. 1407 West 18th Street Call 712-258-8278. Morningside College Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Alliance 712-274-5208 Contact Professor Gail Dooley, Advisor Morningside College GSA 1501 Morningside Ave. Sioux City, IA 51106-1717 dooley@morningside.edu PFLAG Siouxland PO Box 1311, Sioux City, IA 51102 siouxlandPFLAG@aol.com Romantix Sioux City 712-277-8566 (Adult Emporium) 511 Pearl St, Sioux City, IA 51101-1217 St. Thomas Episcopal Church Service Sun 10:30am 406 12th St, Waverly, IA Rev Mary Christopher 712-258-0141 Western Iowa Tech. GSA widemal@juno.com for info. Zaner’s Bar 712-277-9575 3103 N Hwy 75, Sioux City, IA 51105 Monthly drag shows & events; hometown bar for Imperial Court of Iowa’s Western Chapter zaners-sioux-city@hotmail.com
Waverly Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. 717 W. Bremer, (St. Andrew’s Episcopal) Waverly, IA www.episcoplcampus.org 319-415-5747 Gay, Lesbian Bisexual Student Alliance Wartburg College, Waverly, IA 50677 Contact Susan Vallem 319-352-8250 St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church 717 W. Bremer We welcome all to worship with us on Sunday at 10:30am. Bible discussion Wed. 6:45pm Rev. Maureen Doherty, Pastor 319-352-1489
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MAY 2011
Diverse Video Testimonials Help Reach Out to Encourage HIV Testing The Positive Project Offers Video Segments to Help Outreach Efforts during the National AIDS Testing Day (June 27) Denver, April 21, 2011- The Positive Project encourages AIDS Services Organizations to utilize their innovative video database in their campaigns geared to encourage Americans to get tested for HIV as part of the National HIV Testing Day on June 27. The National Association of People with AIDS (NAPWA) founded the day in 1995 and continues to lead its implementation each year. Non-profits and Public Health Entities around the United States that are seeking ways to attract more people to testing programs during that day may benefit from using videos in their campaigns to de-stigmatize getting tested for HIV. In a statement made by president Obama during last year’s National Testing Day, he said: “One in five Americans who are currently living with HIV—more than 230,000 people—do not know their status. The majority of HIV infections are spread by those who are unaware that they have the disease. And research shows that people who know their status take better care of themselves and take steps to reduce the risk
of transmitting HIV to others. That is why it is so important that people get tested.” The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that all Americans between the ages of 13-64 get tested for HIV as part of their routine medical care. Knowing their HIV status helps them take control of their health, protect their loved ones, and get connected to treatment, if needed. Close to 50,000 people get infected with HIV every year in the United States, and half of them are below 24 years of age. “Established in 2000, The Positive Project is the largest searchable video archive in the world of people living with HIV. Our goal is to provide a mechanism by which people infected/affected by HIV/ AIDS can share their experiences with those who can benefit from hearing them, to use their stories for the greater good. We know that people relate to people and stories are powerful tools. We aim to ensure that this disease does not lose its human face. Through The Positive Project, we are positioned to ask, listen, and utilize what we hear to raise awareness, reduce stigma, promote prevention, encourage testing, and enhance care and quality of life,” said Tony Miles, co-founder and Executive Director of the non-profit organization. “It is our wish that all organizations take advantage of our extensive archive of videos from people infected and affected with HIV in their educational, prevention and access to care activities,” added Miles.
After viewing clips from The Positive Project, Michelle (St Louis, Missouri), posted this comment, “Your clips are very encouraging. Up until now I have been very afraid to be tested, after having several partners in the past ten years. I believe I have now found the courage.” “What’s unique about The Positive Project’s video database is not only its huge number of high quality videos but also its easy to use search engine that allows for finding videos tailored to specific populations,” said Nelson Vergel, a national health educator and activist. “One can search videos based on gender, ethnicity, age, keywords, sexual orientation, location, and language (English/Spanish). For non-profits looking for videos to help target specific populations, there is no better tool out there,” added Vergel. For more information, visit, www.ThePositiveProject.org; email, contact@ThePositiveProject.org, or call, Tony Miles or Dawn Shearer, 303-7330545 This is what professionals have to say about The Positive Project: “The digital format maximizes the flexibility and utility of the interviews for prevention, care, education, and training purposes since it can be accessed and specifically tailored for targeted audiences. Building a workable digital database is the innovative
essence of The Positive Project.” John Anderson, Ph.D., Director, American Psychological Association, Office on AIDS
“This is an especially wonderful resource for people who live outside of major cities where there is no face to face information and support available.” Craig Thompson, Executive DirectorAIDS Project Los Angeles
“Our medical and social work providers have been very impressed with the work of The Positive Project… Our clients often express a desire to learn about the experiences of others affected by HIV but frequently are not comfortable meeting other clients in person.” Elizabeth McFarland, M.D., Director, The Children’s Hospital “The video segments compiled by The Positive Project clearly have the potential utility for use in health promotion interventions, including medication adherence interventions and safer-sex interventions for people living with the virus. Perhaps the greatest potential application of the video segments would be for newly-diagnosed persons who are isolated, frightened, and lack knowledge about HIV.” Eric Benotsch, Ph.D. Associate Professor; Director, Health Psychology Program, Virginia Commonwealth University; Associate Editor, BMC Public Health
MAY 2011
Section 3: Community
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