ACCESSline, The Heartland's LGBT+ Newspaper, May 2012 Issue, Volume 26 No 5

Matthew Shepard 2012 Pride Events IC Kings Scholars Announced for the Heartland Some events may not be listed.

June

Cedar Rapids Pridefest Saturday, June 2nd, 12-6 PM Greene Square Park, Cedar Rapids, IA QC Pridefest Saturday, June 2nd, 12PM-12 AM Sunday, June 3rd, 12 PM-6PM Downtown Davenport, IA

Capital City Pride Friday, June 8th, Pride Scavenger Hunt @ 6 PM East Village Saturday, June 9th, 5 PM Sunday, June 10th, Parade @ 1 PM PrideFest @ 9 AM

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TTMATTHEW SHEPARD story on page 14

Miss Gay Iowa USofA 2012 Pageant Interview by Angela Geno-Stumme

Vanessa Taylor is the owner and promoter of Miss Gay Iowa USofA Pageantry. She is a Miss Gay Iowa USofA 2005 Titleholder and has been owner of MGI since 2011. The MGI USofA 2012 Pageant was held February 23rd-26th. MGI USofA is part of National Pageant Miss Gay USofA, which was first held in 1986 with the coronation of Michael Andrews. Since then many of the most well known entertainers have sought and won the prestige title of Miss Gay USofA. The pageant ranged over three days and had multiple levels of competition. Could you discuss some of the acts that stood out Thursday, February 23rd during your AllStar Show?

Even with the six inches of slushy snow that fell on Thursday, most of the performers were able to make it to Des Moines to entertain for the small crowd that ventured out in the snow storm.

Among the entertainers were former Miss Gay Iowa USofAs: Mallory Moore, Natasha Cass, Sasha Belle, and Vanessa Taylor. Also we had out of town entertainers including former Miss Gay USofA at-Large, Kitty Litter from St Louis, MO., Former Miss Black USofA, Amaya St James from Chicago, IL.,

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Diversity Focus

Interview by Angela Geno-Stumme

Chad Simmons, Executive Director of Diversity Focus, had time to answer a few questions about his organization. Diversity Focus is a non-profit organization committed to the promotion of diversity, cultural awareness and inclusion located in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

You are Diversity Focus’s newly appointed Executive Director, what drew you to the organization?

I was originally interested in Chad Simmons Diversity Focus when I worked at the University of Iowa Health Care. Initially, as a head of Human Resources for Health Care and then ultimately when I was on the Diversity Focus Board for fifteen months. I had the ability and the assets to help shape Diversity Focus’s image and the key was—I really believed in the mission. And the mission was designed around retaining a diverse workforce within the Corridor area.

My unique experience is that I lived here in Cedar Rapids from 1988 to 1991. And back then, I realized there was a need and I had the ability to start a couple of organizations. One was called, The Iowa Black Network Organization. However, when

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What’s Inside:

Section 1: News & Politics

Advertising rates Letter to the Editor NW Iowa Wedding and Event by Angela Geno-Stumme Red Lipstick and Size 11 Heels by Tehrene Firman Financial Planning Available for Same Sex Couples Stigmata and Violence as Social Control by W. Blumenfeld Remarkables by Jonathan Wilson Minor Details by Robert N Minor Just Sayin’ by Beau Fodor Digging Deeper interview by Amber Dunham Inside Out: Appalling Cruelty by Ellen Krug Creep of the Week by D’Anne Witkowski

Section 2: Fun Guide

3 3 5 5 5 6 7 7 8 8 9 10

Entertainment Picks for the Month 11 Out From Under Interview by Chris Azzopardi 11 Wired This Way by Rachel Eliason 12 Congratulations Class of 2012 13 Cocktail Chatter by Ed Sikov 14 2012 Matthew Shepard Scholars Announced 14 From The Heart by Rev. Kathy Love, D.D. 16 I.C. Kings Drag King Troupe by Angela Geno-Stumme 21 Your Iowa Wedding Awaits 22 Hear Me Out by Chris Azzopardi 23 Deep Inside Hollywood by Romeo San Vicente 23 The Bookworm Sez by Terri Schlichenmeyer 24 Comics and Crossword Puzzle 24-25 Out of Town: Upstate NY Vacations by Andrew Collins 26

Section 3: Community

FFBC by Bruce Carr Cedar Rapids Pridefest 2012 Diversity Focus May Events Why Marriage Matters Iowa From the Pastor’s Pen by Rev. Jonathan Page Celebrating Motherhood by Royal Bush Tom Mahony Pride Prom for Omaha LGBT Youth Be a Buddy, Not a Bully By Nate Monson The Outfield by Dan Woog Business Directory

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MAY 2012

PUBLICATION INFORMATION Copyright © 2012, All rights reserved.

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zation ACCESS (A Concerned Community for Education, Safer-sex and Support) in Northeast Iowa.

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Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 3

From The Editor Kenneth James Weishuhn Jr. (May 27, 1997-April 15, 2012)

We send our most heartfelt condolences to Kenneth Weishuhn’s family for their immeasurable loss.

Bullying is not imaginary. It is not petty. It is not being blown out of proportion. Every day it is first hurting and then killing our children—children who are cruelly told that there is something wrong with them, with who they are. We lose these children to attacks that are often just thoughtless, made out of peer pressure or social expectation. The attacks can be small or large, but they eventually build and accumulate into an overwhelming weight. Without balancing messages of support, of love, and of pride in one’s self, a child falls into greater and greater hopelessness.

And now we have yet another tragedy.

We make a desperate plea: Parents, please talk to your children at an early age about their own worth and about respecting the worth of others, no matter how different.

And to any young person who is feeling that there is no point in going on, please hang on and reach out for help. Call the Trevor Project (866-4-U-TREVOR) right now. Watch the “It Gets Better Project” videos and see that there are people just like you—some going through the same things as you are now, and some looking back at their own hopelessness that they survived in the past. Know that you can get through this and find happiness on the other side, and that people do love

you and will continue to love you for who you are.

If you are considering hurting yourself or need help, call the Trevor Project now at the Trevor Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 (866-4-U-TREVOR) or thetrevorproject.org The It Gets Better Project at itgetsbetter.org THE IT GETS BETTER PLEDGE: Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I’ll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I’ll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, trans and other bullied teens by letting them know that “It Gets Better.”

ReportBullyingIowa.com

The Eychaner Foundation launched reportbullyingiowa.com for reporting bullying and harassment in Iowa.

Students, parents, teachers and staff may now report bullying easily using the online form.

Executive Director Michael Bowser says, “Iowa law requires both public and private schools to establish policies prohibiting harassment and bullying against students by other students, employees or school volunteers and to quickly investigate any reported incidents.

Regrettably it is often difficult for students and parents to find reporting procedures, forms and contact individuals. This online form makes it easy for victims to collect and submit information about the incident to the school, so the school can begin their investigation.”

The form will automatically be sent

Editor-in-Chief, Arthur Breur to the school district for the person reporting by email and US Postal Service.

The Eychaner Foundation will additionally track the complaints and release the number and type of reports filed in an annual report to the public and the Iowa Legislature.

Iowa State Senator Matt McCoy says the online reporting form fills a crucial role in understanding the scope of bullying in schools across Iowa. “Each school district and the legislature need an accurate representation of how many students are being bullied. By using this form, the appropriate school employees will know when bullying occurs and the legislature will know the effectiveness of prevention measures and school investigations, and the progress of ending bullying statewide.”

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Please send us information on any of the following: Corrections to articles • Stories of LGBT or HIV+ interest • Letters to the editor Editorials or opinion pieces • Engagement and wedding ceremony announcements or photos Questions on any topic we print • Photos and writeups about shows, events, pageants, and fundraisers Please email us at Editor@ACCESSlineIOWA.com. You may also contact us at our regular address, ACCESSline, PO Box 2666, Cedar Rapids, IA 52406-2666 ACCESSline reserves the right to print letters to the editor and other feedback at the editor’s discretion.

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ACCESSline Page 4 SScontinued from page 1

MGI and former Miss Missouri America, Missouri Continental, and Illinois Continental, Krista Versace from St Louis, MO. This was a night to remember to have all that talent on one stage, on one night.

The first Preliminary Night was Friday, February 24th. What was competition like that night?

Friday we had twenty one contestants arrive at contestant check in. Check in went very smooth with the help of State Pageant Director, Ross Wallace. As a thank you, each contestant was given a gorgeous pair of earrings sponsored by Stacey’s Prom and Bridal in Urbandale. The contestants were able to view the crown and awards for the first time as they turned in their applications, talent music, and collected their contestant badges and dancer/dresser passes. Once everything was discussed during registration, all twenty one contestants went through the Personal Interview category.

Friday night half of the contestants competed in Evening Gown and the other half competed in talent to a crowd of over four hundred people. On Saturday night, the contestants who did gown on Friday, did talent and the girls who did talent on Friday, did gown and competed in front of a record breaking crowd of over six hundred and fifty people.

What were the categories for judging?

Personal Interview, Talent, and Evening Gown Who were the winners from that night and why?

The twenty one contestants were split into four groups. We held our group prelim awards ceremony on Sunday afternoon at The Blazing Saddle. Bryan “Stinky” Smith and The Saddle staff treated us all very well and gave us a great place to hold the awards ceremony, which was a closed ceremony reserved for just contestants, dancers, dressers, and Iowa USofA Pageantry staff.

Section 1: News & Politics Preliminary night group awards were as follows. Group One: Interview-Evian Cass, Gown-Alexandria Steele, and Talent-Evian Cass. Group Two: Interview-Coco Belle, GownChanel Cavalier-VanCartier, and Talent-Coco Belle. Group Three: Interview-Kiera Cavalier and Chi Chi Rodriguez, Gown-Kiera Cavalier, and Talent-Kiera Cavalier. Group Four: Interview-Nedra Belle, Gown-Roxy LeGrange and Talent-Nedra Belle.

Final Night Competition was Sunday, February 26th. Who were the final contestants?

Sunday afternoon we had Final Night rehearsal following the prelim awards ceremony. This is where we do a quick runthrough of how the night will go. After that the contestants were allowed to get ready for final night.

Final night started at eight pm at The Garden Nightclub, which was the host venue all weekend and it was beautifully decorated. Cy and Tony and the entire staff really stepped up and worked very hard to make sure the entire weekend went off without a hitch.

How did the contestants compete that night?

The night started off with the reigning Miss Gay Iowa USofA- Alexandria Markstone performing a Broadway Melody with many former Miss Iowa’s. After the opening, all twenty one contestants were brought out in their “Red Presentation”. Once all contestants were on stage, one by one, we announced the top twelve and they got to draw a new number that would put them in the order they would compete that night.

Once all of the top twelve was announced, they were dismissed to begin getting ready for their Final Night talent productions and Evening Gown. The only category that carries over from prelim nights is Interview.

What categories were there? Who was runner up?

At the end of the night after all twelve contestants finished the competition, only three points separated the top three placements! This is very rare and shows how much

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DIVERSITY FOCUS I moved back in 2009, it surprised me that a lot has not really changed—other than the population had increased. We started taking a look at the number of businesses and the things going on. And we found that there was still a lot that had not changed and that really surprised me.

I think that would be a big frustration.

Let’s say it was a big opportunity. When I was here before, I remember there was an African American radio station, and I came back and the radio station was gone. And in many cases, as much as technology has moved us forward, in some cases you realize there were some steps backward. I saw there was an opportunity to continue the work I initially started when I moved here.

As Executive Director how do you see Diversity Focus’s future now?

I’m really excited, honored, and humbled to be appointed Executive Director. I think one key is that we connect with the community.

And we have conversations with the communities about what they see and what they want, and how they want the community to grow and evolve—and then for us to act as servant leaders to help them. Diversity Focus has been around for six years and we spent a lot of time focusing on awareness campaigns. What we’re doing now, is we’re focus more on the action part of our program. This is identifying what our communities want and being able to effectively communicate that to our stake holders, like our sponsors and our partners. And then helping them shape programs, or helping them to work with us to shape programs, or to highlight programs in the area that allow us to, or allow the community to achieve their goals, their dreams, and their visions.

What types of programs and services do you offer to augment that vision?

We want to engage with the community.

We’re in the process and have spent some time in developing community councils, like a community council for the LGBT community.

MAY 2012 These councils give us feedback that helps us decide what programs should be put in place.

And some of the things we have been having dialogue around, is doing town hall meetings. It is a way, again, that we can engage the community to talk about the solutions that are in place, and ask these communities, will these solutions actually work? We’ve also been exploring other possibilities, like our television show we’re putting on.

How we can highlight different communities, and give people a better understanding of the community—the similarities and the differences, and the challenges that the community is facing. So that people can start managing and changing their behavior. But a lot of the programs that we are focusing on putting in place, other than some of our standard things right now…like our special speaker series, our student leadership series, our training and development (which we call, Diversity Beyond Labels), and other than our inclusive communities (which is kind of the town hall meetings), is really to listen to the leaders and listen to the communities. Then start helping them put things in place that will meet their needs.

You mentioned one program specific for LGBT communities. Are there others?

There are programs being developed, where we’re having conversations, but the programs are not yet finalized. We are looking to try to do things that can support some of the events that are happening this summer, and we’re putting together our councils to help us determine whether or not these developing programs will make sense and will support the community.

Some of your present programs invite speakers into the community are you planning to have LGBT speakers?

We actually had our first Shift speaker this past October. What we are looking to do and explore, is bringing in speakers or people that are members of the community, or the community would like to hear or that they would embrace and be able to talk about topics.

We’ve been exploring the concept around, what we call the Shift Lecture Series. Our

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MAY 2012

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 5

Northwest Iowa Wedding and Red Lipstick and Size 11 Heels Tehrene Firman Event Interview by Angela Geno-Stumme by Annual Cedar Falls Drag Born and raised in Iowa, Brandon J Hanson owns and operates Northwest Iowa Wedding and Event. He has over 7 years and 500 events worth of experience in the Industry.

His experience includes company events of over 4,000 employees, GBLT social events, wedding ceremonies, wedding receptions for up to 500 close friends and family, non-profit fundraisers, family gatherings, celebrations and more.

You were born and raised in Iowa but spent some time out of state, what was it about Northwest Iowa that drew you back?

I came back to Iowa after a little over four years in Minneapolis/St. Paul area because of the unsteady economy, but that was not my only reasoning. I also have my entire family here in Northwest Iowa and a sturdy support system, from my family and friends. I moved back to the farm house I grew up in, to help my father run things. It used to be a working Dairy Farm, but since has been a crop producing farm.

Did you feel there was a need in northwest Iowa that your business could fulfill?

At first I did not see a need for a wedding and event planner. When I moved back to

Iowa I noticed many listings of couples getting married in the area and that this was up in number from when I had moved from the area in 2005. When I returned in 2010 I decided that maybe I should start up a small planning business to help the couples make the day a special one by providing a minimal consultation service. When I started out I was thinking that it would be just a few weddings a year—just to help out with ideas and to help with minimal problem solving. It has now turned into full weddings that I am planning for couples, from in or outside of Iowa, to weddings that start with nothing planned at all.

How were you received by the people and community in northwest Iowa?

The local community of my home town and the surrounding area has been so welcoming to me and the business I started.

Friends that I grew up with as a child, that I went to church with, are hiring me to do their weddings! I can’t honestly ask for a better welcome from the area.

Tell me about your most spectacular wedding? How did you make it their dream day?

The most spectacular wedding that I have done would have to be a couple in October 2011. They came to the 2011 Lite 104.9 Bridal and Prom Extravaganza in January and had entered their names into a drawing for Free Wedding Planning Services from Northwest Iowa Wedding and Event. In order to win you needed to be present at the time of the drawing. The couple was the 3rd name pulled.

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Show Fundraises in Style

Every year, UNI Proud holds a drag show to showcase the talented members of their group and raise money for charity.

Once a year, every seat, ledge and open spot on the floor is taken in the University of Northern Iowa’s Maucker Union—no, not for an educational lecture or speaker, but for something a little more… glittery.

Red lipstick and size 11 heels filled the room last night as UNI Proud hosted their annual drag show. I’ve gotta give the performers props—I don’t even know if I could walk in 5-inch heels, let alone dance in them. (Well, without falling off the stage, that is.)

The night was full of excitement, and for a good cause. The performers were not only showing students at UNI they have nothing to hide with this year’s theme, “Transparency,” but were raising money for a great cause while doing so. Every crinkled dollar tucked into a bra or taken out of a donator’s mouth went toward Community Aids Assistance Project (CAAP), a nonprofit group in Northeast Iowa.

The night couldn’t have gotten off to a better start. When the show was about to begin, an excited member of the group strutted past me in his low-cut black dress and heels, shouting, “It’s gay time!”

Meanwhile, Courtney Michaels, Reining Empress of the State of Iowa and the outspoken host of the night, took the stage and immediately had the crowd cheering. If it wasn’t her attitude that the audience loved, it was the fact that she was shakin’ it like no other, making the gold Mardi Gras-looking strings of beads dangling off her dress go crazy.

The next performer of the night, “Lola Luster,” stole the show. Seriously. Students were acting like there was a celebrity in their presence, and they were right. As Lola performed

to a Britney Spears medley, flipping her hair around to choreographed dance moves, the crowd went wild.

In fact, she got a standing ovation.

Lola wasn’t the only celebrity of the night. There were appearances

by Justin Bieber and Chris Brown, LMFA-BRO (which A performer poses during I must say, had way Madonna’s “Vogue.” better hair and Credit: Tehrene Firman Patch.com. was much more entertaining than LMFAO) and even Beyoncé.

Yes, Beyoncé—backup dancers and all.

Many of the ladies flaunted their fake (but very realistic-looking) facial hair, LMFA-BRO stripped down to some very colorful spandex (which the audience didn’t seem to mind) and a rather buff member of the audience was asked by Courtney Michaels to come up on stage, where she proceeded to take his shirt off and make comments about wanting him to be her boyfriend.

And if you’re wondering, yes, he had something close to an 8-pack.

As usual, this event was an extreme success, just as it is every single year. In fact, I’ve never attended a show put on by UNI Proud that didn’t have people fighting for seats. With a group as passionate as them, they never do anything that isn’t completely unforgettable.

Tehrene Firman (CedarFalls.Patch.com) is a 22-year-old obsessed with the glossy-paged world of magazines. Her dream is to make it to New York City and land a job in Hearst Tower (where all the magic happens). Article and photos courtesy of Patch Media, Patch.com.

Financial Planning Available for Same Sex Couples The College for Financial Planning®, located in Denver, is pleased to announce that Bob Eustice, of Des Moines, IA, has successfully completed the ACCREDITED DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP ADVISORSM or ADPASM Professional Designation Program.

Individuals, who complete the educational materials, pass a final exam, agree to abide by the Standards of Professional Conduct, and comply with self-disclosure requirements earn the right to use the ADPASM mark. Bob is the first advisor in Iowa & Nebraska to earn the ADPASM Professional Designation.

Bob Eustice is a Brokerage Manager with

Living with HIV A case management program serving those living with HIV/AIDS in north-central Iowa.

226 SE 16th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-956-3312

Insurance Designer-KC and has been in the insurance and financial services industry for 34 years. He has also earned the professional designations of Chartered Life Underwriter (CLU) and Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC). Bob presents informational workshops throughout Iowa and eastern NE for brokers and prospective clients, covering topics such as: Life, disability, & long term care insurance solutions, annuities, wealth transfer, & legacy planning strategies. Bob and his wife, Andrea, live in Des Moines, IA. The ACCREDITED DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP ADVISORSM or ADPASM Professional Designation Program addresses the unique financial planning needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals, as well as heterosexual couples who have chosen not to marry. Specifically covered are factors and situations that cause financial planning for domestic partners to be different from financial planning for legally married spouses, including: Wealth transfer, taxation, retirement planning, and estate planning issues; as well as alternative planning solutions for these situations.

ACCESSline Page 6

Section 1: News & Politics

MAY 2012

Stigmata and Violence as Social Control by Warren J. Blumenfeld Officials in 17th-century Puritan Boston coerced Hester Prynne into permanently affixing the stigma of the scarlet letter onto her garments to forever socially castigate her for her so-called “crime” of conceiving a daughter in an adulterous affair. Stigmata include symbols, piercings, or brands used throughout recorded history to mark an outsider, offender, outcast, slave, or an animal.

Though Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel The Scarlet Letter is a work of fiction, members of several minoritized communities continue to suffer the sting of metaphoric stigmata forced onto their skin, birth sex, sexual and gender identities and expressions, religious beliefs and affiliations, countries of origin and linguistic backgrounds, disabilities, ages, and so on.

Many overt forms of oppression are obvious when dominant groups tyrannize subordinated communities. Prime examples include the horrific treatment of People of Color under the system of apartheid in South Africa and Black Africans in the trans-Atlantic slave trade, the mass slaughter of Jews and other stigmatized and marginalized groups in Nazi Germany, and the merciless killing of Muslims during the Christian “Crusades.”

Many forms of oppression and enforced stigmata (as well as dominant group privileges), however, are not as apparent, especially to members of dominant groups. Oppression in its fullest sense also refers to the structural

or systemic constraints imposed on groups even within constitutional democracies like the United States.

Stigmatized groups live with the constant fear of random and unprovoked systematic violence directed against them simply on account of their social identities. The intent of this xenophobic (fear and hatred of anyone of anything seeming “foreign”) violence is to harm, humiliate, and destroy the “Other” for the purpose of maintaining hierarchical power dynamics and attendant privileges of the dominant group over minoritized groups.

On February 26 of this year, George Zimmerman, a neighborhood watch leader in Sanford, Florida, shot and killed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. Martin was walking on the sidewalk talking on a cell phone to his girlfriend and carrying a can of ice tea and a small bag of Skittles when Zimmerman confronted and shot him, and then he claimed self-defense. By most reports, Martin’s “crime” was walking while being Black in a predominantly White gated community visiting family and friends. His stigmata included his black skin and his youth while wearing a “hoody.”

Black parents from all walks of life throughout the country engage with their sons in what they refer to as “the talk” once their sons reach the age of 13 or 14 instructing them how to respond with calm if ever confronted by police officers. Parents of these young men know full well the stigmata embed-

The killers live in a society that subtly and notso-subtly promotes intolerance, imposes stigmata, and perpetuates violence.

ded into their sons by a racist society marking them as the expression of criminality, which perennially consigns them to the endangered species list.

In the wake of the killing of Trayvon Martin, 32-year-old Iraqi American Shaima Alawadi appears to be the victim of a brutal hate-inspired murder in her San Diego, California home. On March 24, 2012, Alawadi’s eldest daughter, Fatima al-Himidi, found Aalwadi “drowning in her own blood,” beaten with a tire iron. A note near Alawadi bloodied body read, “Go back to your country, you terrorist.”

Today, especially since September 11, 2001, we have seen growing numbers of violent acts directed against Muslims and Sikhs. The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) released its 2006 report finding that approximately 25% of U.S.-Americans consider Islam as a religion of hatred and violence, and that those with the most biased attitudes tend to be older, less educated, politically conservative, and are more often to belong to the Republican Party.

During the single year of 2005 alone, for example, CAIR listed a total of 1,522 civil rights violations against American Muslims, 114 of which were violent hate crimes. The report included incidents of violence, as well as harassment and discriminatory treatment, including “unreasonable arrests, detentions, and searches/seizures.” For example, the CAIR report included an incident in which a Muslim woman wearing a hijab (the garment many Muslim women wear in public) took her baby for a walk in a stroller, when a man driving a truck nearly ran them over. The woman cried out that, “You almost killed my baby!,” and the man responded, “It wouldn’t have been a big loss.”

There is an old tradition in our western states of ranchers killing a coyote and tying it to a fence to scare off other coyotes, and to keep them from coming out of their hiding places. That’s what Matthew Shepard’s killers did to him in 1998 outside Laramie, Wyoming.

Shepard’s convicted murderers, Russell Arthur Henderson and Aaron James McKinney, smashed his skull and tied him to a fence as if he were a lifeless scarecrow, where he was bound for over 18 hours in near freezing temperatures. The message to the rest of us lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people from these killers is quite clear: stay locked away in your suffocating and dank closets, and don’t ever come out.

We witnessed the brutal attacks on Rodney King in Los Angeles, the barbarous slaying of James Byrd, Jr. in Jasper, Texas, and the fierce rape and murder of Cherise Iverson, a 7-year-old girl in a Las Vegas casino bathroom. And these are simply the most extreme examples of hate-related violence.

We must not and cannot dismiss these incidents as simply the actions of a few individuals, for oppression exists on multiple levels in multiple forms. The killers live in a society that subtly and not-so-subtly promotes intolerance, imposes stigmata, and perpetuates violence.

These incidents must be seen as symptoms of larger systemic national problems.

In these times of declining social mobility, and as the gap between the rich and the poor ever increases, dominant groups attempt to divide the dispossessed by pointing to scapegoats to blame. For example, vigilantes sometimes calling themselves members of the so-called “Minutemen” movement target

Warren J. Blumenfeld is associate professor in the Department of Curriculum and Instruction at Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa. He is editor of Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price (Beacon Press), and co-editor of Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (Routledge) and Investigating Christian Privilege and Religious Oppression in the United States (Sense). www.warrenblumenfeld.com and hunt down anyone suspected of being undocumented.

We are living in an environment in which property rights hold precedence over human rights. In this environment, the political, corporate, and theocratic right are waging a war to turn back all the gains progressive people have made over the years. One tactic they use is to inhibit the development of coalitions between marginalized groups.

For example, on March 26, 2012, the Human Right Campaign, an LGBT civil rights organization, revealed a series of internal documents from the conservative National Organization for Marriage (NOM), which laid out its strategies for restricting the rights of marriage equality from same-sex couples. According to the “confidential” 2008-09 report to the NOM Board of Directors: “The strategic goal of this project is to drive a wedge between gays and blacks—two key Democratic constituencies.

Find, equip, energize and connect African American spokespeople for marriage, develop a media campaign around their objections to gay marriage as a civil right; provoke the gay marriage base into responding by denouncing these spokesmen and women as bigots….”

To disengage and reverse stigmata once imposed can be difficult but certainly not impossible. Whenever White LGBT people, however, view Black and Latino/a people through the stigma of criminality, whenever heterosexual Black and Latino/a people view LGBT people through the stigmata of sin and abuse of youth, whenever we view Muslims through the stigma of terrorism, whenever any group views any other through lenses of stigmata, this horizontal stigmatization and oppression only further entrenches the vertical hierarchical power structures.

Metaphorically, oppression operates like a wheel with many spokes. If we work to dismantle only one or a few specific spokes, the wheel will continue to roll over people.

Let us, then, also work on dismantling all the many spokes in conquering all the many forms of stigmatized oppression in all their many forms.

In the final analysis, whenever anyone of us is diminished, we are all demeaned, when anyone or any group remains institutionally and socially stigmatized, marginalized, excluded, or disenfranchised, when violence comes down upon any of us, the possibility for authentic community cannot be realized unless and until we become involved, to challenge, to question, and to act in truly transformational ways.

Section 1: News & Politics

MAY 2012

ACCESSline Page 7

Remarkables by Jonathan Wilson Gay Civil Equality Comes with a Guarantee

I know the outcome of the debate over gay civil equality, including marriage. I know it for sure. We win and, in doing so, everyone wins.

The rapidity with which we are approaching that outcome has thus far been remarkable, and the pace will only accelerate. There are several coalescing reasons.

First, unlike most other minority groups, gay men and lesbians have blood ties—inseverable blood ties—into the majority. I know; I know. I’ve heard the horror stories about parents rejecting their children over this issue. They are the distinct minority of parents; they are violating the laws of the Universe; and, in time, they too will come around (if they don’t die first). The vast majority of parents embrace their LGBT children (once they know), as do the siblings, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the children, and in my case, the grandchildren. Those are powerful multiples; you do the political math. There is a threshold beyond which there’s no turning back, and we’ve crossed it.

Second, gay and lesbian citizens who have served in the US armed forces from the beginning of the Republic, can now serve openly. The equal willingness to die, openly, for the protection of our rights and freedoms,

makes a compelling case for those rights and freedoms being equal as well.

Third, virtually all the momentum is in the direction of equality. In the span of just forty years, I’ve seen us go from believing that homosexuality is a mental illness to learning that it isn’t, and homophobia is. I’ve seen us go from same-gender intimacy being a crime in every state in the Union to its decriminalization in every state, bar none.

I’ve seen state courts and state legislatures weigh in to legalize and/or recognize samegender marriage. And I’ve seen the federal legislation saying otherwise challenged and a Justice Department—for once, at least, true to its name—refuse to defend the law. That’s almost unprecedented, and it’s truly telling.

Fourth, ours is one nation. We cannot have one nation and, at the same time, have multi-state businesses hamstrung by a patchwork of differing state laws when transferring employees for promotion or otherwise. Just ask the chambers of commerce or any such company. Such a patchwork adds potential reluctance to an employee’s willingness to relocate. Beyond that, we cannot have one nation and, at the same time, tolerate individual rights and liberties fluctuating from fully equal to none-at-all during a single road trip across the country.

Fifth, we all know that money talks.

It was recently reported in The New York Times (March 24, 2012), that extremely wealthy individuals—gay, straight, Democrat, and Republican—are raising BIG money to advance the cause. The momentum we’ve already seen will not be going underfunded.

And it’s paying off; support for gay marriage— the ultimate test of civil equality and genuine separation of church and state—has comfortably surpassed the 50% mark in nation-wide polling.

Sixth, as if five coalescing reasons weren’t compelling enough, the fact is that individual freedom is irrepressible. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, the arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice. And I say, when it bends just a little bit further, it’s going to make a rainbow.

Finally, the explosion of right-wing hate groups recently reported by the Southern Poverty Law Center, while distasteful, is actually a positive indicator on this topic. They read the same writing on the wall that other observant people do. Folks afraid of water get agitated when they find themselves in the path of a rising tide. They then become vocal, but they don’t change the tide. It may not be over, but the sound we’re all hearing that accompanies the writing on the wall is the fat lady warming up. Thank God, and good reason(s).

You can read in history books the names of bigots like Governor George Wallace and Lester Maddox who, today, would almost certainly be embarrassed about things they

I lost what was left of my naiveté about the equal justice ideal of the Supreme Court with their decision in Bush v. Gore to select George W. Bush president by suspending Florida’s vote recount in 2000.

That political overreach by the increasingly activist right-wing majority, interfering in a state’s right to count its own votes, was so radical that in the decision itself they forbid it to ever be cited in the future as a precedent.

Harvard Law Professor, Alan Dershowitz concluded: “[T]he decision in the Florida election case may be ranked as the single most corrupt decision in Supreme Court history, because it is the only one that I know of where the majority justices decided as they did because of the personal identity and political affiliation of the litigants. This was cheating, and a violation of the judicial oath.” (Supreme Injustice: How the High Court Hijacked Election 2000) I should have known. I’d read Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States where he traces the essentially conservative and pro-business history of the Court. Even in the 19th century, Zinn documents: “the Supreme Court, despite its look of somber, black-robed fairness, was doing its bit for the ruling elite….

How could it be neutral between rich and poor when its members were often former wealthy lawyers, and almost always came

from the upper class?”

With “W’s” addition of ultra-conservative favorites Roberts and Alito, the rightwing justices became more radically activist to ensure that businesses had increasing power over individual citizens. All their carefully scripted talk in Senate confirmation hearings about following precedent and being “umpires,” not legislating from the bench, was no better than today’s rightwing political strategy that lying is okay if it promotes their ideology.

Decision after decision of the Roberts Court has eroded individual rights and increased the power of corporations and the police state. Eric Segall, professor of constitutional law at Georgia State University, in Supreme Myths: Why the Supreme Court Is Not a Court and Its Justices Are Not Judges goes so far as to argue that the Court, unbound by any court above it, set free by the vagueness of constitutional text, and uninhibited through the gift of life tenure, is operating like a freewheeling political “veto council” and not like any court that we would recognize as doing judicial work.

The activism of these right-wing justices was blatant in the 2010 decision of Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. So intent were these justices on changing the political power in the country that they forced the case into doing so.

On June 29, 2009, in order to decide not on what was being argued by both

sides but what they wanted to change in American society to benefit the interests of big business, the justices issued an order directing both sides to actually come back and reargue the case months later, saying they were really interested in whether they could overrule precedents that restricted corporate contributions to political campaigns. As Justice Stevens pointed out in his dissent, the Court addressed a question not raised by the litigants, and the majority “changed the case to give themselves an opportunity to change the law.”

Even former Republican-appointed justice Sandra Day O’Connor questioned the decision. Prophetically, she warned: “In invalidating some of the existing checks on campaign spending, the majority in Citizens United has signaled that the problem of campaign contributions in judicial elections might get considerably worse and quite soon.”

It was little surprise then that during the Court’s April hearings on challenges to the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, Justice Scalia, for example, parroted tea-party talking points about the government forcing broccoli on everyone. Carried away with tea-party Republican propaganda, Scalia criticized “the Cornhusker Compromise” proposal in congressional discussions even though that never made it into the Act actually before the Court.

As if no facts matter at all, since he already knew what his opinion should be, Scalia even complained that he shouldn’t be bothered with reading the actual bill that, aping the tea-party Republicans again, was too long. “You really want us to go through

I’ve seen us go from believing that homosexuality is a mental illness to learning that it isn’t, and homophobia is.

Jonathan Wilson is an attorney at the Davis Brown Law Firm in Des Moines, and chairs the First Friday Breakfast Club (ffbciowa.org), an educational, non-profit corporation for gay men in Iowa who gather on the first Friday of every month to provide mutual support, to be educated on community affairs, and to further educate community opinion leaders with more positive images of gay men.

It is the largest breakfast club in the state of Iowa. He can be contacted at JonathanWilson@DavisBrownLaw.com. said, positions they held, and things they did during the early years of the racial civil rights movement. By contrast, when it comes to the gay civil equality movement, you’re going to be able to read such names in a current telephone book. Guaranteed.

Minor Details: Will These Supremes Care About “Equal Justice for All?” by Robert N Minor

How could it be neutral between rich and poor when its members were often former wealthy lawyers, and almost always came from the upper class?

Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org. these 2,700 pages?” The questioning also made it clear that Roberts hadn’t read it.

Working its way toward this Court is Perry v. Schwarzenegger, the challenge related to Proposition 8 in California.

Proposition 8 adds a new provision to the California Constitution that provides that “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”

On August 4, 2010, US District Court Judge Vaughn R. Walker overturned Prop 8 as a violation of the Equal Protection and Due Process clauses of the U.S. Constitu-

TTMINOR DETAILS continued page 29

ACCESSline Page 8

Section 1: News & Politics

MAY 2012

Just Sayin’ by Beau Fodor Aging Gracefully in Our Culture

As one goes through “the daily’s” on this Ferris-wheel, thoughts of what it’s all about and what does “it” mean will eventually permeate through all the clutter and noise of life. And if it doesn’t, well, there is the mirror. There is no escaping that one...

As a gay man in Des Moines who is waving hello to middle age, and reluctantly realizing that the days of reckless abandon have started to escape his grasp. I observe those who do not have the life experience I possess. Not that I’m judging, because I’m not, actually, it’s more like praying... and thanking God the kids are still letting me even get in the sandbox without throwing sand in my face!

The worst part was I was so insecure and unhappy during the 1980’s. AIDS protests and memorial services are all I remember. I was also assured that I wouldn’t make it past my 30th birthday and I probably did think about suicide daily.

Now, having the unexpected good fortune to prove them all wrong, and to become known as “Iowa’s Gay Weddings Planner”, I am honestly and truly humbled.

Among many of my other life-experiences like traveling the three Americas and every Gay Mecca, as a young, wide-eyed model/ actor/dancer/waiter-at-Studio 54/coke whore-turned-escort, (OMG, can we say MESS) I can look at life and the younger gay men with wonder and concern. Good, bad, indifferent, or actually... it’s really just “with-a lot-of-hope”.

Then, when I turned 30 (and three Rehabs later), I met and was groomed at the knee of a gay man’s Icon/Queen-Bee/ DIVA and Mentor, who worked at a start-up magazine publication simply called “LIVIVG”.

Then my corporate climb began. And I learned about honesty, integrity, a fierce workethic and to respect my elders, and well, everything changed quickly!

It was really my late 30’s that transformed me—along with moving to the Mid-west and to a farmhouse in Clare, Iowa. That came with a chicken-coop and climbing roses growing all over it (BTW, they cover up the smell of chicken sh*t).

Anyway, before I digress any further, I’ve been tripping on this whole “aging-thing” in our community.

Along with celebrating my half century of life this year by hanging out with the 20 and 30-something crowd (they are so

I now have passed the point in my life where I desire to be one of the hottest guys in the room.

fun and not bitter... yet). I just have found these past few years of spending time with younger people “enlightening” and to bring a “revival” of sorts to my thinking about aging gracefully in our GLBTQ world. How leading by example is all we have to leave behind. And thinking about how, with AIDS still being so prevalent in our young gay community, one in five young gay men are positive (OMG, it just makes me sick). It all comes together with the message society is still trying to sell of a hedonistic, negative and diseased “gay culture”. It is no coincidence that I still need to daily affirm my existence as a proud gay man in the bathroom mirror.

I now have passed the point in my life where I desire to be one of the hottest guys in the room. As diligently as I’ve tried, I was never the hottest guy in the room! But the quest usually creeps into one’s wish list at some point in life, especially after my experiences at Studio 54! Now, if I’m the hottest guy in the room, well, it’s time to change rooms (unless it’s a room at the Nursing Home). Not that I just crawled out from under a rock by any means, but the bridal-veil has been lifted on the need to be the “it” guy. Now, I think, I just want to be a wall-flower. And watch drama unfold from the side-lines...

At this point in life (50), I think I am holding it together pretty well, actually.

Thanks, Goddess, for good photographers,

Digging Deeper interview by Amber Dunham

Beau Fodor, owner of Gay Weddings with PANACHE, is an Iowa wedding planner who focuses specifically on weddings for the LGBT community. iowasgayweddingplanner.com or gayweddingswithpanache.com. video editing, skin care, hair color, teeth whitening, spray tans, Lasik surgery, waxing, mani-pedis … the list could go on... but seriously, it all boils down to one word—VANITY. Author Jason Thomas, at the DallasVoice.com, in Dallas, Texas, said it best last year about turning the Big-Five-OH: “The moments when I am jolted back into reality if I drift into some false sense

TTJUST SAYIN’ cont’d page 29

In 2010, high school student Amber Dunham participated in a class assignment to ask someone 20 questions for an LGBT essay. The person Amber chose to ask was Alexis, a transgendered woman from the Iowa City area. This is the second portion of The Interview and will include questions from several individuals. Most of these people have already read

the first interview, and I have asked them to think about more questions they might want answers to. Some are again from Amber. Some of the other questions have simply unintentionally come up in ordinary conversations with people and were completely unplanned or unsolicited, but I consider them worthy of additional comment. Others simply seek more in-depth information on one of the previous 20 questions. Any questions or comments for Alexis can be sent care of this publication to Editor@ACCESSlineIOWA.com.

1) Can you shed some insight into why some people, like yourself, are simply not content with living in their birth sex?

Wow!! To give you a thorough answer to this question would require a book in itself. Keep in mind that when you use the terms “girl” and “boy” you are assuming that the gender and the sex of the person are in harmony. Yet such isn’t always the case.

Virginia Prince, who recently departed us in 2009, was a transgender activist who herself underwent surgical body modification and lived her life full-time as a female beginning in her later teens. She is often given the distinction of explaining it quite simply in that ‘sex is what is between your legs, and gender is what is between your ears’.

The development of a human fetus is a very complicated interaction of numerous chromosomes and genes. In perhaps every 200 to 500 births it is now felt that something must happen in the earlier stages of a pregnancy that causes some manner of disruption to the normal process of physical and mental development. The exact timing and extent of these inconsistencies with the development of the embryo within the fetus is not under-

stood. However, as a result, those individuals are born with varying degrees of a condition where they are born with one anatomical sex and yet a different mental or brain sex. This results over time in such individuals exhibiting various forms of “gender dysphoria,” a condition describing the inner turmoil felt by those who struggle with feelings that they are forced to live in one sex role while harboring feeling within that tell them they should be living in the opposite sex role.

For many years the common conception was simply that if you were born with a vagina, you should be happy as a girl during your life…if you were born with a penis, you should grow up to be a happy male. Those who didn’t fit the norms were often thought of as mentally disturbed and psychiatric counseling was generally the treatment. It was not until recently that the argument that sexual identity was a result of socialization was determined to be incorrect by many, although some psychologists and psychiatrists still hold the belief that behaviors ranging from cross dressing to transexualism are mental illnesses. Indeed, the American Psychiatric Association, in their current 4th Edition of The

“Are you kidding me? It’s insane that civil rights are being denied people in this day and age. It’s embarrassing, and it’s heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I’m completely in support of gay marriage. In 10 years we’ll be ashamed that this was an issue.”

—The Avengers’ Chris Evans, whose brother Scott is gay, in the most recent issue of Playboy.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV classification tends to depict gender disorders, especially gender diversity, gender transition and the post-operative medical care as forms of mental illness and sexual deviance. In preparation for the new 5th edition, there is a work group attempting to more clearly explain the gender issues in a manner more friendly to those coping with gender dysphoria, but that group has yet to fully embrace revised language that would view us more tolerantly. As a result of that reluctance to embrace change in the diagnoses associated with gender identity disorder, those individuals will likely continue to be punished by many therapists with treatments geared toward gender-conformity to one’s birth sex designed to suppress their gender variant expression. The new DSM-5 guidelines are scheduled to be published in 2013, and will likely affect gender diverse individuals for a decade or two. Barriers will likely continue to exist for those who qualify for hormonal treatment or even transitional surgery for those in need, unless they have access to private financial resources for themselves.

And while the American Psychiatric Association has stated that the DSM itself is strictly for purposes of diagnosis, it is difficult to separate the diagnosis and the treatment.

Many persons begin to feel “different” early in their lives. For example, although I did not understand exactly what was going on, I knew from approximately 4-5 years of age that I did not want to be a boy. It was nothing that I imagined. I did not plan this. It was nothing that I sought out. It was something that I knew.

Regardless of how or when it happens in the development of the embryo, one’s core feelings about their sexual identity are the basis of who they are as a person. When this gender identity is not in harmony with one’s physical body, it can lead to a traumatic lifestyle. Social lives can become difficult if not impossible.

The manner in which you relate to others is compromised.

Society norms and standards do not make it easy for a person to express the feeling that they want to live and dress as a member of the opposite sex. For a girl who feels like a boy, it is often easy for them to simply become

For many years the common conception was simply that if you were born with a vagina, you should be happy as a girl during your life…if you were born with a penis, you should grow up to be a happy male.

TTDIGGING continued page 32

Section 1: News & Politics

MAY 2012

ACCESSline Page 9

Inside Out: Appalling Cruelty by Ellen Krug Things are getting crazy here in Minnesota.

In November, the ballot will include a proposed amendment to the state constitution mandating that marriage be restricted to the union of “one man and one woman.”

Never mind that state law already contains the same restriction; the Christian Conservatives want to go one step further and get it in the state constitution, too.

The proposed “antimarriage amendment” (as many LGBTQ people call it) has triggered a debate that Iowans know well. In particular, the Catholic Church—I’m a former Catholic, mind you—has been very active. It even mailed anti-marriage DVDs and pamphlets to several hundred thousand Catholics.

Thankfully, the LGBTQ community isn’t taking this lying down. A coalition of many groups has organized under the banner of “Minnesotans United for All Families.”

Their polling shows the vote in November will be exceedingly close—right now, the anti-marriage people are ahead by several percentage points.

Minnesotans United has been raising money (hint) and phoning across the state using the pitch that this battle isn’t about civil rights, but instead about love: that gays and lesbians simply want to be able to express their love through marriage, just like straight people. If children are in the picture, they want their kids to be able to say, “My parents

are married, too.” We’ll see if this approach works since to date, every state that’s considered a ballot initiative—29 at last count—has rejected same-sex marriage.

Recently, I attended an actual debate about the pros and cons of the anti-marriage amendment. On one side was the executive director of the Minnesota Catholic Conference. Representing the pro-marriage point of view was an articulate—and out—University of Minnesota law school professor.

The event was attended by over 100 lawyers and law students.

For the first hour and a half, things went as expected. The speakers were polite and well-prepared, and the audience respectful.

One speaker talked about how marriage historically has only been between the genders. The other discussed how society has changed and so must the concept of marriage.

To his credit, the anti-marriage speaker initially made cogent, if very flawed, arguments. He argued that men and women were “different from the tops of their heads to the bottoms of their toes” and that these differences allowed each to “compliment” the other. The purpose of marriage, accordingly, was to procreate as much as possible, something which gays and lesbians can’t do easily (or so he argued).

The discussion moved to protecting children. The gay law professor argued that if

This wasn’t the first time I heard of a Church official spouting that adopted and single-parented kids are in some way defective.

the goal was protection of children, it is best that people be allowed to live authentically, rather than forcing them into the closet and purported heterosexual marriages where one of the parents is torn. Ultimately, the marriage will disintegrate, leaving children with divorced parents.

The anti-marriage speaker responded with true ignorance. In his view (and apparently in the view of the Catholic Church), children are better off with a “Mommy and Daddy” than with two mothers or fathers.

His rationale?

Statistics. Purportedly, statistics show that adopted children and children of singleparent households are not as successful in life and have far more behavior problems than children from intact heterosexual marriages.

This wasn’t the first time I heard of a Church official spouting that adopted and single-parented kids are in some way defective. Earlier this spring, the (soon to be of voting age) seniors at a Minneapolis Catholic high school were lectured about the virtues of marriage between a man and a woman.

The lecture included remarks about how children who are adopted or from single-parent households aren’t quite normal.

It’s one thing to debate same sex marriage. It’s quite another to make damningly ignorant public statements that only certain children from certain relationships (heterosexual marriages) are normal, and all other children are somehow flawed.

For me, an adoptive parent who at one time was in a heterosexual marriage, the Church’s argument is appalling. And cruel.

If nothing else, imagine how such statements make adoptees and single-parented children feel.

I sure wish the Church would have talked to me before advocating such a crazy, hurtful position. I’d have told them that I have two daughters, each adopted when they were five months old, who are now 22 and 20, respectively. The oldest, Emily, lives several states away and works as a writer at a wellrespected magazine. She graduated close to the top of her class, and has won awards for her writing. She’s a darn nice person, too.

The youngest, Lily, still a student, is earning straight A’s. She lived with me for several years—her choice—after I came out as gay, and then as transgender. She wrote about me when she applied to college. Now, she’s active in Democratic politics. She has a

Ellen Krug, writer, lawyer, human, is presently completing her memoir, “Getting to Ellen: Crossing the Great Gender Divide,” which will be published in 2012. She lives in Minneapolis and works as the executive director of a nonprofit serving the underrepresented.

She welcomes your comments at ellenkrug75@gmail.com. heart of gold and may be one of the wisest people I know.

In short, I’d dare anyone to compare my children—adopted, from a divorced home, with a transgender parent—to the children of any Catholic heterosexual marriage. You’d see no discernible difference. Hell, you might even find a bit more enlightenment—along with compassion and understanding—from those Krug girls. After all, isn’t that the idea behind raising good, responsible members of society?

It’s ironic that the Church would use children as the excuse in the same-sex marriage debate. Weren’t many thousand children victimized by priests across the world? Doesn’t the Church instill in children the concept of original sin—you’re sinful just for having been born? What about “Catholic guilt?” How many of us needed therapy because of that?

The Minnesotans United group has the right idea. The debate about same-sex marriage—and, for sure, same-sex parenting—really is about love. My daughters are living proof that love and kindness can trump any kind of adversity or challenge that children may face.

The LGBTQ community and our straight allies understand that love transcends everything else. It is truly unfortunate—and yes, cruel—that the Church chooses not to acknowledge this.

ACCESSline Page 10 SScontinued from page 4

MGI competition there really was at the pageant.

In the end Second Alternate went to Coco Belle, First Alternate went to Chanel CavalierVanCartier, and winner was Lady Adawnis.

Lady Adawnis was crowned Miss Gay Iowa USofA, what is next for her?

Top on her list is preparing for Miss Gay USofA 2012, which is held in Dallas, TX May twenty second through twenty fifth. She is having benefit shows and raising money to help with some of the expenses of being in Dallas, TX for a week. Chanel Cavalier-VanCartier as the First Alternate is also required to compete in Miss Gay USofA in Dallas and is actively raising money for the competition as well.

What are her duties as Miss Gay Iowa USofA 2012?

Miss Gay Iowa USofA has a variety of duties. The first thing is attending and competing in Miss Gay USofA. After that, she will get a little time to relax, then it’s time to start helping the pageant promoter with organizing preliminary pageants and helping get new preliminary pageants. Miss Gay Iowa USofA gets to attend each preliminary pageant

Section 1: News & Politics and gets treated like a queen for the night. In addition to being glamorous on stage, she will oversee the scores at each preliminary pageant and make sure everything is accurate before the winner of the preliminary is announced.

Being Miss Gay Iowa USofA, really is a job.

Does she have a goal for her reign?

I think each Miss Iowa has their own goals during their reign. My goal during my reign in 2005 was to have more preliminary pageants and contestants than Miss Iowa had ever had in the past and I accomplished that. I think most Miss Iowa’s just want to have the biggest year possible to make it a grand step down event as they crown the next Miss Iowa.

Vanessa, how was it running the pageant?

Wow, it was a lot more work than I had anticipated. Even though I was co-promoter for the 2001 and 2002 years, I had never had the entire state looking at me and watching every move to see how I would bring Miss Gay Iowa USofA back. There was a lot of pressure on me to make this an event that wouldn’t soon be forgotten. Everything needed to be perfect. From the appearance of the club with the decorations, to the staff of The Garden, and my staff of Iowa USofA Pageantry. I am proud to say that we did it. Everyone associated

with the pageant, made it a huge success and everything was perfect.

What does the Miss Gay Iowa USofA competition do until next year?

We don’t take a break if that’s what you are asking. Next year is the twenty fifth Anniversary of Miss Gay Iowa USofA. Our final night venue will be in a ballroom or theater and will be a grand event. Prelim nights will still be held in a nightclub. The location of Miss Gay Iowa USofA 2013 will be announced at the Miss Gay Iowa USofA at-Large pageant July Twentieth and Twenty First at The Garden Nightclub in Des Moines. We also are constantly in touch with prelim promoters and getting dates scheduled for preliminary pageants that are held throughout the year.

Any special ‘shout-outs’ or thanks you would like to repeat?

Thank you to the entire staff of Iowa USofA Pageantry for helping to make sure everything ran so smoothly. To David Miller, thank you for always has my back in all of my ventures. Alexandria Markstone, for stepping up and showing you are a true state title holder, a true professional, and making sure Miss Iowa was a success. Each and every preliminary pageant promoter, without you guys Miss Iowa would not be what it is, and I

thank you all. The Garden Nightclub, you all were fantastic and showed you know how to handle an event of this size and not even stress about it. THANK YOU! The Blazing Saddle and Stinky, thank you so much for giving us a place to hold our prelim awards ceremony on Sunday afternoon. Juice Magazine and Accessline Newspaper, I could not have asked for more. Your publicity helped make Miss Gay Iowa USofA a huge success. THANK YOU! All of the judges on the judges panel, I would not have wanted your job, thank you all for being so professional. I could not have asked for a better panel of judges. Tajma Hall, you are amazing and so unbelievably professional, thank you for Emceeing all weekend. And to all of the former Miss Iowas, words cannot describe my feelings for each of you. Your support and dedication to this pageant system is truly a blessing. Remember there are only a few that can say they are/were Miss Gay Iowa USofA and I intend to make you all feel like you are part of something special every year as we move forward. Thank you all for showing me that I made the right decision to purchase this pageant. And to all of the fans of drag…..THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for coming out and showing your support for all the contestants competing!

“In the first place, I would think that unless someone makes their sexuality public, it’s not anybody’s business, so neither is it our business to tell an employer who to hire,” King continued.

“He won’t know who to discriminate against in the first place.”

See, if people don’t know you’re gay, they won’t discriminate against you. Duh. So for all of those homos out and proud, if you face discrimination, it’s all your fault. Quit yer cryin’.

This is hardly a new position for King.

In 2010 he said about gays in the workplace, “If people wear their sexuality on their sleeve and then they want to bring litigation against someone that they would point their finger at and say, ‘You discriminate.’” Because protecting companies from being accused of discrimination is far more important than protecting gays from being discriminated against.

King also told Think Progress, “How do you know someone’s sexual orientation? I don’t know how you discriminate against someone because of their sexual orientation.”

A good question, just how does one discriminate against someone based on their sexual orientation? Why, it’s a complete and total mystery! Let’s see if I can come up with some off the top of my brain. You could refuse to grant them promotions. You could fire them. You could kick them out of your rental property. You could bully them until they drop out of school and/or kill themselves. You could rape them. You could kill them. The list goes on and on, with plenty of documented evidence should you want to get totally depressed. But as King pointed out, they all brought it upon their gay selves.

Things were better before all this “out and proud” crap. All you have to do is look at history.

Travel back to the time before Stonewall when gays were largely living in the shadows and nobody ever bothered them and life was great.

And it could have been happily ever after forever if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids.

Wait, did I say meddling kids? My apologies, I was thinking of Scooby Doo. I meant meddling cops. The cops, who routinely harassed, beat, jailed and otherwise took advantage of so many sad, closeted queers.

Or, as King would call it, the good old days.

marriage, and the black people who support gay marriage, just can be moved around like pieces on a chessboard.”

So if I understand correctly, Bond is saying that black people don’t appreciate being pawns and having their beliefs exploited? Huh. You’d think a group like NOM, always so forward thinking and considerate of each person’s inherent dignity, would have seen that coming.

NOM is, of course, banking on the argument that some people make against calling the fight for LGBT rights a civil rights movement. When Cooper asked about this Bond said, “It is exactly the same. It’s a right that all Americans have, and no reason why gay and lesbian people ought not to have these rights, too. These are universal rights.”

Bond is, obviously, proof that not all Black people are anti-gay. In fact, some Black people are actually gay. Which means not all gay people are white. Which makes this whole race war idea pretty convoluted.

But it is worth noting that gay Americans are not immune to racial divisions. A commentator on AmericaBlogGay wrote, “It’s all good and well to pretend that these divisions aren’t there while the mainstream is watching, but those among us who are black and gay know good and well that they are.”

In other words, yeah, it’s easy to point fingers at NOM’s indisputably racist strategy, but let’s not allow NOM’s horribleness to keep us from seeing that the fight against racism is no more a thing of the past than the fight against homophobia.

As Bond told the Human Rights Campaign, “NOM’s underhanded attempts to divide will not succeed if Black Americans remember their own history of discrimination. Pitting bigotry’s victims against other victims is reprehensible; the defenders of justice must stand together.”

Of course, NOM would be the first to declare themselves as the victims in this rigmarole. And I’m sure this is all some kind of big misunderstanding. Hey, some of NOM’s best friends are black! But definitely not gay.

Creep of the Week by D’Anne Witkowski Rep. Steve King (R-IA)

Oh, Steve King. You are a royal creep, indeed.

A longstanding foe of LGBT people and anyone who sees LGBT people as, oh I don’t know, human, King has once again opened his joker of a mouth to say something incredibly dumb.

Readers of this column are certainly aware that anti-LGBT discrimination exists in the workplace. Making this issue even more exciting, in many states, and Michigan is one of them, firing someone or refusing to hire them based solely on sexual orientation is totally legal. There is no state law against it, therefore if you are a victim of such discrimination, you have no legal standing.

You cannot sue. Bummer for you.

Some people have suggested that a sensible way to approach this issue is to include sexual orientation and gender identity in state antidiscrimination laws. Oh, those crazy dreamers.

King has a better idea: stay in the closet homos.

On April 4, he told Think Progress, that you can’t tell private business who they can’t discriminate against. “You have private sector businesses here and they need to have freedom to operate,” he said. In other words, firing someone because they’re gay would strictly be a business decision. Stop being so sensitive, gays.

MAY 2012

National Organization for Marriage

Hey girlfriend, what are you wearing to the race war? Some sexy camouflage chaps, perhaps? A rainbow stripped Kevlar vest?

Wait, haven’t you heard? The National Organization for Marriage is sponsoring some big gay people vs black people thing. I hear it’s going to be all the rage. Like, literally, all of the rage.

How do I know this? Recently uncovered court documents outline, in writing, NOM’s national anti-gay marriage strategy to “drive a wedge between gays and blacks.”

Now why would they want to do such a thing? Well, because gays and blacks happen to be “two key democratic constituencies.”

So, you know, it’s nothing personal. It’s just politics.

The document reads, “We aim to find, equip, energize and connect African American spokespeople for marriage; to develop a media campaign around their objections to gay marriage as a civil right; and to provoke the gay marriage base into responding by denouncing these spokesmen and women as bigots. No politician wants to take up and push an issue that splits the base of the party.

Fanning the hostility raised in the wake of Prop 8 is key…”

Oh, how clever. How nice. Especially the “fanning the hostility” part. If there’s one thing America needs when it comes to the issue of race, it’s a hostility fan.

Some people are, for some reason, upset about this. One of those people is Julian Bond, former chairman of the NAACP. During a recent interview with Anderson Cooper, Bond said, “It’s one of the most cynical things I’ve ever heard of or seen spelled out in this way.”

Bond also decried the idea that “these people are just pawns that can be played with, the black people who oppose gay

ACCESSline’s fun guide

Our Picks for May 5/1-9/30, Hall of History, Boys Town, Nebraska, Baseball at Boys Town, boystown.org 5/3-5, Pella, Iowa, Tulip Time Festival, pellatuliptime.com 5/4, Gallagher-Bluedorn, Cedar Falls, Crème de la Crème 12, gbpac.org 5/6, Lincoln, Nebraska, Lincoln Marathon, lincolnrun.org 5/11-12, The Garden, Des Moines, Iowa, Mr Gay Iowa US of A, missgayiowa.com 5/11-6/17, The Blue Barn Theatre, Omaha, Nebraska, Spring Awakening, bluebarn.org 5/12, Holland Performing Arts Center, Omaha, Nebraska, Omaha Symphony: Baroque Fireworks, omahasymphony.org 5/12-13, Figge Art Museum, Davenport, Iowa, Beaux Arts Fair, beauxartsfair.com 5/13, Gallagher-Bluedorn, Cedar Falls, Burn the Floor, gbpac.org 5/15-16, Civic Center of Des Moines, Des Moines, Rain:A Tribute to the Beatles, civicenter.org 5/19-20, Iowa Events Center, Des Moines, Celebration Talent Competition, iowaeventscenter.com 5/19-20, Boone, Iowa, Gladiator Assault Challenge, gladiatorassaultchallenge.com 5/25-26, Winterset, Iowa, John Wayne Birthday Celebration, johnwaynebirthplace.org 5/26, Liberty Centre Pond, North Liberty, Iowa, North Liberty Centre Blues & BBQ, northlibertyiowa.org/bluesandbbq 5/26-28, Amana, Iowa, Iowa Renaissance Festival, iowarenfest.com 5/31-6/3, Downtown, Waterloo, Iowa, My Waterloo Days, mywaterloodays.org

Out From Under Interview by Chris Azzopardi

Teen Kelby Johnson. Photo courtesy of The Weinstein Co.

‘Bully’ director and lesbian teen talk controversial documentary

Lee Hirsch will never forget the brutality of his middle-school years, when he was the victim of what, in recent years, has become a tragic epidemic— bullying. The punches, taunts and name-calling were all wielded his way. And the bullsh*t justification for all the above: that it’s just part of being a kid.

But, as Hirsch’s controversial documentary Bully argues, it shouldn’t be.

“The driving force behind the film was to give a voice to that experience for myself and for others,” says the Long Island-raised writer/director, who sensitively spotlights the national issue in the film. “I made it for all of us ex-bullied and once-bullied—the

“I know that being gay, you can feel very alone,” she says, “and I hope that when they watch the movie, that goes away and they realize there is someone standing with them who has gone through that.”

...and June

6/1, Community Choice Credit Union, Des Moines, Iowa, Matthew Shepard Scholarship Awards Dinner, eychanerfoundation.org 6/1-3, Heartland of America Park, Omaha, Nebraska, Taste of Omaha, showofficeonline.com 6/1-3, National Motorcycle Museum, Anamosa, Iowa, Vintage Rally, nationalmcmuseum.org 6/2-3, Millers Landing, Omaha, Nebraska, Nebraska State Chili Cook-Off, chilicookoff.com 6/7-10, Clarinda, Iowa, Glenn Miller Festival, glennmiller.org

coalition.”

And he did it by putting a face on the ever-growing problem. Five faces, in fact.

Harrowing and heartbreaking, the documentary follows the teens—one of which is then-16-year-old lesbian Kelby Johnson, living in Tuttle, Okla.—as they’re victimized within their own schools, often brushing it off as just a part of growing up.

“I was looking for a way to change something,” Kelby says, “and Lee gave me that opportunity, and I was excited to take that and run with it.”

To many gay teens, Kelby’s story of being ostracized is devastatingly familiar: She’s the reject of her smalltown community, which doesn’t accept that she’s a lesbian—or that she has a girlfriend.

Tuttle turns against not only Kelby but also her family.

“Kelby and I didn’t bond over a conversation about sexuality,” says Hirsch, who didn’t want to discuss his own orientation with us.

“We bonded over the experience of being bullied, and that was really the same as it was with all the kids. I feel like our relationship began with a real conversation about what I experienced, what I wanted to set out to achieve with this film, why her story mattered and why what was happening wasn’t OK.” They met via The Ellen DeGeneres Show, after Kelby’s mom, desperate to help her daughter, reached out to the outspoken talkshow host through a message board because she was afraid her daughter would succumb to the same fate of the many gay teens who’ve killed themselves in the last few years. Kelby not only didn’t, but she’s now helping others get through those hard years.

“I know that being gay, you can feel very alone,” she says, “and I hope that when they watch the movie, that goes away and they realize there is someone standing with

Photo courtesy of The Weinstein Co.

TTOUT FROM UNDER cont’d page 15

the fun guide

ACCESSline Page 12

MAY 2012

Wired This Way by Rachel Eliason

Cyberbullying part two

Last month’s column was about the growing problem of cyberbullying. We talked about what cyberbullying was, who cyberbullies and how they do it. (For those who missed last month’s ACCESSline, old editions are archived and available on the website; ACCESSlineAmerica.com) This month we will discuss what to do if you, or someone you love, is the victim of cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying is any form of bullying done through electronic means.

There are almost as many ways to use electronic devices for bullying as there are devices themselves.

Cyberbullying can be particularly damaging because it follows the kids into their own home, onto their games and wherever they go. The victim and their parents may feel powerless, but there are things that can be done to prevent and to stop cyberbullying.

What can kids do if they find themselves a victim of cyberbullying?

You log into facebook and discover someone has left a long flaming rant on your wall. A comment on your latest YouTube video contains insulting language. You start getting texts asking

you personal and offensive questions.

What do you do?

The first and most important thing to do about any cyberbullying attack is to put down the mouse and walk away. Seriously, get off line. Walk away from the computer.

Shut your phone and put it back in your pocket. Take deep breathes. Go for a walk.

Anything.

Our first inclination is to strike back, to respond to the post, comment or text. That is almost always the worst thing you can do. You may eventually have to respond, but you need to calm down and think the situation through first, always.

Remember the inadvertent bully?

Digital communication has many pitfalls.

Written messages lack the emotional undertones speech has. Even with emoticons, jokes can be misconstrued. Typos happen and those can completely change the meaning of a message. People dial the wrong number. I once received some incredibly revealing pictures from a young man hoping to hook up with another girl named Rachel. Are you positive the message was truly meant for you? Are you entirely sure the message means what it says?

Remember how some bullies work by

The first and most important thing to do about any cyberbullying attack is to put down the mouse and walk away.

proxy? Are you sure the message is from the person you think it is? Check the spelling of names carefully. Check the spelling on email addresses—misspelling happens.

But they may also point to an attacker who is trying to hide their identity. Check the attacker’s profile. If there is only one or two pictures and very few friends, that’s usually an indication that the profile is a fake. Look at how long the profile has been active. If it’s been started recently it could easily have been created just for this attack.

If the attack comes from someone who you counted as a friend, give them the benefit of the doubt. Was their account hacked? Have they been misled into attacking you? Contact them through a different medium, or talk to them face to face to find out what’s really going on. Remember that bullies might be spreading rumors in your name, or giving others partial information about what’s going, to make you look like the bad guy. A face to face talk can clear the air and thwart that strategy.

Instant Messaging can be particularly troublesome. It’s hard to know for sure who you are really talking to on IM. Bullies will choose confusing IM screen names, hoping to trick you. If you are being targeted, or if you are talking about something sensitive, be sure you know who you are talking to. Agree in person with your friends when you’ll be online,

TTWIRED THIS WAY cont’d page 13

Rachel Eliason is a forty two year old Transsexual woman. She was given her first computer, a Commodore Vic-20 when she was twelve and she has been fascinated by technology ever since. In the thirty years since that first computer she has watched in awe as the Internet has transformed the LGBT community. Her collumn, Wired That Way discusses how technology has fueled and propelled the LGBT community.

In addition to her column, Rachel has published a collection of short stories, Tales the Wind Told Me and is currently working on her debut novel, Run, Clarissa, Run. Rachel can be found all over the web, including on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Goodreads.

MAY 2012

the fun guide

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WIRED THIS WAY what screen name you will be using and have a smart phrase that only you and your friends know.

So you know that it’s really an attack.

You know who is doing it, or at least who is not doing it. Now it’s time to respond, right? Wait a minute longer. Remember the vengeful bullies? Don’t become one. Take the high road, in the long run you will be glad you did.

Finally, before you respond remember the limits of cyberbullying. Did they deliver a believable threat of physical violence?

Did they post/share sexually explicit pictures of you? Are they trying to lure you into an unsafe situation? If your bully has crossed the line into criminal activity it might be time to go to the authorities.

Trying to deal with a serious situation by yourself can be dangerous and may hurt your case in court later if comes to that.

In adult situations the best strategy is frequently not to respond at all. Block the individual, delete them from your friend’s list and move on with your life. Life is too short to share with small minded people.

There are a few situations where you can’t, or don’t want to, get away from your attacker. They might be family or co-workers and you may have no choice but to continue to deal with these people.

For kids these sorts of situations may be even more common. If you go to a small school you have to deal with everyone.

Blocking them online doesn’t prevent them from spreading malicious gossip about you, and you may be blind-sided by it later. The block it and forget it strategy might not work as well. Staying online with

a bully will mean that you will eventually have to deal with the bullying. How can you do that?

If someone is using offensive language tell them so, but without using insults back.

Explain what they said that was hurtful and why. Don’t expect a well reasoned argument to move the average bully. They have made up their minds about you and nothing you say will likely change that.

Why even give your reasoning then?

Because other people are reading/listening as well and they may not have made up their minds.

Imagine this, someone at your school posts something on your facebook wall about your sexual orientation.

You unleash a huge emotional rant at them, dropping the N word in your anger.

They repost it. Now you look a lot less like a victim of homophobia and more like a racist. This is how bullies operate. Don’t fall for it.

While explaining calmly and rationally that what they said was hurtful and why, set limits. Just because someone goes to your school doesn’t mean they have to be on your facebook. “I feel that the word ‘tranny’ is offensive to trans people and if you use that word on my wall again I will unfriend you.” What happens online is public and you probably have an audience. Making your limits, and what you intend to do to enforce them, public will make it that much harder for your bully to spread false information about why he/

she was blocked.

If the abuse is ongoing, and responding calmly isn’t stopping it, what’s next?

You’ve taken them off your social media sites, but they keep posting stuff on the school’s message board, in IMs and other media you can’t control. You need to start documenting what’s happening. Eventually you might have to involve some sort of authority, whether its parents, school, Internet Service Providers or police. Each will have different requirements.

Internet Service Providers (ISPs) are the easiest by far. Any web site that requires you to login (Facebook, Google+, Blogger, Tumblr, Pinterest, etc.) will have Terms of Service that all users have agreed to.

You probably didn’t read them, but go back and do so now.

Almost universally these terms will forbid hateful comments, personal attacks and any illegal activity.

Some have policies protecting specific groups, like LGBT folks, from harassment and some do not. A few sites will protect the right of anyone to use controversial language or discuss controversial topics, including how they hate the LGBT community. Even on these sites, personal attacks are typically off limits.

Reporting a violation of the terms of service is as easy as clicking the mouse.

Most websites have a button marked “flag” or “mark as inappropriate.” The ISP will do the rest. Now aren’t you glad you didn’t fight fire with fire? Do not engage in “notify wars” or use this button inap-

If your bully has crossed the line into criminal activity it might be time to go to the authorities.

propriately. Remember the ISP has access to the entire log of posts and comments (including deleted posts/comments). If the person you are flagging was responding to something you said, it will come out.

If you are being harassed by email create a special folder and save the offending emails there. That way you have them later if you need to prove that the bullying is happening, but you don’t have to see them every time you open your email account. If its texts, do the same if your phone is capable of such a feat. Save the number to contacts and give it its own special ringtone, one that will let you know it’s not a friendly call before you answer.

To prevent hacking of your account, practice strong passwords. Do you know how to make a strong password? Think of a phrase that is easy for you to remember (yes, I said phrase, not word) but wouldn’t be obvious to someone who doesn’t know you well but might, say, know the name of your dog. Now take that phrase and change some letters for symbols, ones that make sense in context (1 for i and @ for a, for example). My password might be something like: Rachel is so smart or R@ ch*l1ssosm@rt. (It’s not by the way.)

If you are being attacked on an IM service that can be difficult because most ISP’s don’t use permanent IM screen names, require proof of identity or log the exchanges. That allows one sneaky person to create screen names that make them look like someone else, use multiple screen names to spread their attack and later to deny they did anything.

Only chat with people you know in real life. If you are the victim of a cyberbully,

TTWIRED THIS WAY cont’d page 16

ACCESSline Page 14

the fun guide

Cocktail Chatter by Ed Sikov El Nuevo Mojito

“We’re in the port of Old San Juan / We have a boat we can sleep on / Hundreds of drag queens in full bloom / Hundreds of fat men in steam room!”

My singing drives Dan nuts. I don’t know why. Just because I can’t hit the notes….But for once I got a laugh. The Neue Weimar, the VSOP Caribbean cruise ship we’d taken as our belated honeymoon, had a spa, and we found that the “spa” area was—how shall I put it?—heavily populated. There were many men, a lot of them shaped like our planet. They could no more wrap a bath towel around their waists than could Kirstie Alley at her greatest tonnage.

Spending a week with 2,000 men is an anthropological experience: the size of a flaccid dick varies greatly among the general population and crosses all boundaries of race, ethnicity, age, girth and intelligence. We required a lot of thermal therapy; the hot tub became our second home aboard the Neue Weimar. At one point, a strapping young stud appeared at the hot tub’s entrance; all eyes turned as he strode to the towel rack and whipped off his towel. There were murmurs of appreciation at his godlike-butt, however an audible groan of disappointment at the sight of his Midget League meat. Moments later, a stooped old man tottered in and nobody gave him a second look until he was halfway down the steps into the tub, at which point the crowd suddenly gasped at his absolutely mammoth shlong—proof that one should never judge a cock by its cover.

Even I was amazed by the alcohol consumption on the cruise. Every hour was happy hour, except that all the drinks were full price. TheNeue Weimar had at least 15 bars, and most were busy all day.

We were waking up over our granola at 8 a.m. when Dan’s jaw dropped at the sight of something over my shoulder; I turned around and saw a Bloody Mary cart being wheeled toward us. Some

guys were tanked by noon, passed out by 2, back at it at 5, flying high through dinner, still drinking at 10, 11, and 12, and staggering around the open top deck, the ship’s equivalent of a back room, at 3. I’m not passing judgment, believe me.

The whole point of a cruise like this is to ditch your everyday life and have nothing but fun, fun, fun till your bank takes your credit card away. Still, having had my share of encounters with the severely inebriated, I must warn: too much alcohol thwarts the project. And nothing is as hard-ondampening than the sound of one’s trick heaving into the toilet in the next room.

Which is not the proper way to launch into this week’s recipe, but a slap in the face is an effective rhetorical device.

Our cocktail this week is Caribbean: the mojito. A Cuban drink, the mojito is made of rum, mint, a bit of lime juice and simple syrup—rather like a mint julep, only with rum instead of bourbon. But I’ve adapted it. Like mint juleps, traditional mojitos are easy to make if you have slaves to make them for you. This one’s easy for everyone.

Even I was amazed by the alcohol consumption on the cruise. Every hour was happy hour, except that all the drinks were full price.

El Nuevo Mojito

Put fresh, washed mint leaves into a shaker with ice, and add a few drops of simple syrup and a few drops of lime juice.

Pour in as much rum as you like; any type will do, since the mint and lime will overpower the rum’s subtleties. Shake hard and serve over ice.

(Notes: 1) Most recipes call for muddling the mint with a muddler or a fork. I say phooey. It’s a waste of energy, and the result is that you’ll end up with bits of mint stuck to your teeth.

2) If you use the repulsive Captain Gorgon’s spiced rum—the “spice” is obviously arsenic—I’ve got a voodoo doll with your name on it.)

MAY 2012

2012 Matthew Shepard Scholars Announced The Eychaner Foundation is excited to announce Iowa’s 2012 Matthew Shepard Scholars.

Arianna Dahlin from Ainsworth, Chanse Dunn from Sioux City, Michelle Robinson from Marshalltown, Derek Steinauer from Cedar Rapids, and Fabio Vidal from Des Moines have been named 2012 Silver Matthew Shepard Scholars. Connor Ferguson from Wayland, Keaton Fuller from Clinton and Hollie Wilson from Des

Moines have been named Gold Matthew Shepard Scholars.

Iowa’s Silver Matthew Shepard Scholarship is an award of up to $9,000 over four years and Iowa’s Gold Matthew Shepard Scholarship is an award of up to $40,000 over four years.

Scholarships will be awarded at Iowa’s 2012 Matthew Shepard Scholarship Awards Dinner. Tickets are on sale now, see ad on page 20.

“I want to see us do more in the future. I want to make sure the Department of Education is doing all it can to inform and prepare school districts to effectively deal with the challenges that occur with bullying… It’s not an easy thing, and I know maybe this is a difficult area for school districts.

But it is critically important that we do everything we can to make sure we have safety and security for all of our students in the state of Iowa.” ~Iowa Governor Terry Branstad, April 23, to the Des Moines Register.

MAY 2012

the fun guide

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SScontinued from page 11

OUT FOR UNDER them who has gone through that. The world is going to change and people are going to get more accustomed to (LGBT people), and they should be here to see it.”

Hirsch began filming in 2009, before the rush of LGBT-related suicides was met with national attention: Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi, who jumped off the George Washington Bridge; 13-year-old Seth Walsh, who hanged himself; and Asher Brown, who shot himself after being bullied for coming out.

“They didn’t inspire the film, but it informed the early stages,” Hirsch says of the suicides. “You’re just overwhelmed by how much tragedy there is. The suicides were deeply moving, and people were writing in response to them—and it seemed that people everywhere were really struggling with this issue.”

Youth selected for the film were all, coincidentally, from rural communities and not vast urban cities. “It wasn’t intentional.

It was the way it fell together, and the stories we found were most compelling there. A lot of it had to do with getting that access in Sioux City (the home of then-12-year-old lead Alex Libby) which kind of landed us in the Midwest to begin with.”

Some footage was filmed in New York and Minneapolis, but none as powerful as what made the final cut, Hirsch says. “There was something about the landscape of smalltown America, the quiet and incredible heroism of the families, that I was really drawn to. There are so few outlets there; in big cities, there’s more for kids who don’t fit in or are different, so I think bullying in a small town can be more acute.

It can be a harder world.”

Once he had his subjects, shooting was another challenge. Kelby’s school, unlike that of Alex, denied them access to film inside the premises. And the scenes involving bird’s-eye-views of bus rides and principal office sit-downs were “incredibly difficult” to capture.

One scene, on the bus, involves coarse language that the MPAA deemed too obscene for anything less than a hard R rating. Disappointed that the film’s message wouldn’t reach those it intended to, the studio fought the decision—with Michigan teen Katy Butler leading a movement that rallied nearly a halfmillion supporters, including—no—Meryl

Documentary Filmmaker Lee Hirsch. Photo courtesy of The Weinstein Co. Streep and Johnny Depp. Just days before its release date, Weinstein Co. decided to go the unrated route, snubbing the MPAA and leaving the decision to screen the film up to individual theaters. But then, on April 5, the MPAA and Weinstein Co. came to an agreement: after making profanity edits, the film received a PG-13 rating.

“We were just shocked,” Hirsch says of the MPAA’s initial decision. “I guess I wasn’t as shocked at the initial R, because technically we knew that might happen, but the appeal was really devastating because we had such a strong, compelling argument and other films had been overturned and had much worse profanity. We really thought they’d understand and recognize the value and the merit and the hope that this film offers to so many.”

One of them being Kelby, who’s now 19, just got her GED and is living in Oklahoma City—somewhat less close-minded, she mentions—with her girlfriend. Her plan now involves becoming a gay activist and working with LGBT groups, like Do Something, to continue blasting the bullying issue.

“There’s always going to be something, but (the bullying) has calmed down a little bit for me after the film,” she says, “and there are a lot of things I can brush off now. The film has helped me grow stronger and be more aware of others around me. It’s definitely been a positive experience, and I will carry it with me for the rest of my life.”

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

“They didn’t inspire the film, but it informed the early stages,” Hirsch says of the suicides. You’re just overwhelmed by how much tragedy there is.”

Alex Libby of Sioux City. Photo courtesy of The Weinstein Co.

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the fun guide

MAY 2012

From The Heart by Rev. Kathy Love, D.D. This is the 2nd edition of From the Heart, where it is my pleasure to share stories of couples who have shared their hearts with me. My husband and I own a small wedding chapel in Des Moines, and we have the honor and pleasure of performing same sex weddings for couples from all over the country.

This month I am looking back at Sherwood and Kaston of Kansas. Their wedding shows couples that fun can also be included in your wedding plans. My tip for this month is to not let the size of your guest list determine the success of your perfect wedding.

On Feb. 18th we married Sherwood and Kaston. They met online and talked on the phone, sometimes until 2 in the morning! On October 6, 2006, they finally met in person and have been together ever since.

They told me that they were together for 6 years, but it feels like 50, “because we are just so comfortable with each other and love each other so much!” Kaston said “I would never have made it through graduate school without Sherwood, he is the love of my life!”

Kaston had already legally changed

SScontinued from page 13

WIRED THIS WAY don’t assume you know someone because it’s a screen name you know. Someone else could be using it, not your friend. Find another way to confirm their identity. If you plan to instant message with a school friend, for instance, agree on a special phrase in person before you go home. A quick text or phone call can also confirm an identity. If the ISP doesn’t log IMs, you still can. Spectorsoft (Spectorsoft.com) sells software that will log all of your IM interactions.

Schools, Parents, teachers and other adults may not have access to computer logs. Bullies often post comments and then come back later and delete them, leaving it a he said/she said situation. Luckily in those cases a simple screenshot is one of the best, simplest ways to show what’s going on. A screenshot is a picture (jpeg file) of what’s going on, on the screen. If you don’t know how to capture a screenshot there are plenty of tutorials online.

For Windows Microsoft provides both the software and instructions: http://windows.microsoft.com/ en-US/windows7/Take-a-screen-captureprint-your-screen .

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and when it comes to convincing a parent, teacher or the school system a screenshot can be equally valuable. Most programs can also add a time stamp to the picture, showing the date and time it was taken. However don’t expect screenshots to sway the police. Screenshots can be faked using Photoshop and other commonly available programs, and will not stand up in court. However, a screenshot might give them probable cause to begin an investigation. Once they begin an investigation they may want “live data” which means having an officer either watching over your shoulder while you interact with the individual or even impersonating you.

his last name to Sherwood’s, so the commitment was already there. How surreal that after 6 years they could wake up in Kansas, take a day trip to Iowa, and go to sleep that night at home as a legally married couple!

Kaston’s idea of “something blue” was his argyle socks, complete with skull and crossbones—they cracked me up!

What I really loved about this couple was the sheer joy and bliss that they had in each other. They included the “Blessing of the Hands” in their ceremony. And they did traditional pictures and goofy pictures.

They recently said this about their experience in Iowa, “We are so glad that we made the choice to get married in Iowa.

The people were wonderful, and Rev. Love was absolutely amazing! Thanks to all of the Iowans who continue to support equality. We love you all!”

These great guys show us that you don’t have to have a huge wedding in order to have the perfect wedding. With just a few guests they had a very meaningful and intimate ceremony. At the same time they were very relaxed and had fun on their special day!

They can also subpoena computer records for an ISP or call traces from a cell phone company.

What can parents do?

Remember my first advice to kids; drop the mouse and walk away from the computer? For parents there is similar advice, stop, take a deep breath and count to ten. The number one reason kids give for not telling their parents about bullying is fear that the parent will over react.

Eventually you may have to react by going to the authorities or the school, depending on the situation, and your child might see that as over reacting. But right now your job is to listen. Ask questions, find out what the situation both on and off line is like. Ask to see offending posts.

As a parent we walk a fine line. Don’t overreact, but don’t blow the child off either. Know what’s going in your child’s online life, just as you would in their real life, but attempting to control every move they make online will only lead to rebellion. It can be hard to know how to deal with a child being bullied online, but nothing about parenting is easy.

Dealing with online bullying is easier if you lay the groundwork before it starts.

My son (who is 13) and I made a deal awhile back. For his part, he lets me help him set up his online profiles (facebook, Google, etc.) and I know his passwords. For my part I promise not to use those passwords unless I think something serious is going on. At the least your kids should be willing to friend you. You don’t have to be nosy or stalk them online, but you should know the basics of what’s going on in their online life.

Teach basic Internet security. The Internet isn’t going away and they will need this information later anyway. Teach them how to make strong passwords (see above). Teach them not to friend or chat with people they don’t know, or if they do, don’t give out personal information.

TT WIRED THAT WAY cont’d page 35

Sherwood and Kaston of Kansas. Photo courtesy of The Wedding Chapel.

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2012 Pride Events for the Heartland CONTINUED from Front Page.

Des Moines, IA

Pridefest Milwaukee Friday, June 8th, 4PM-Midnight Saturday, June 9th, Noon-Midnight Sunday, June 10th, Noon-10PM Henry W Maier Festival Park (Summerfest grounds) Milwaukee, WI Rockford Gay Pride Fest June 9th, Davis Park Rockford, IL FruitFest Saturday, June 16th Willy Street, Marquette Neighborhood Madison, WI

Iowa City Pride Saturday, June 16th Parade starts at College Green Park @ 12 noon Festival is on the Pedestrian Mall in downtown Iowa from 12-5 PM Iowa City, IA

Chicago Pride Fest Friday, June 22nd, 4-10PM, Saturday, 23rd 11AM-10PM Halstead Street & Waveland Chicago 43rd Annual Pride Parade

Sunday, June 24th Chicago, IL Pridefest St. Louis Saturday, June 23rd-24th, 11-8PM Tower Grove Park Saint Louis, MO

Twin Cities Pride Festival Saturday, June 23rd, 10AM-10PM Sunday, June 24th, 10AM-6PM Loring Park Minneapolis, MN Heartland Pride Saturday, June 30th, 10 AM-10 PM Stinson Park, Omaha, NE

July

Star City Pride Thursday, July 12th-15th Lincoln, NE

August

Cedar Valley Pride Fest Saturday, August 18th, 12PM August 19th, ‘till 12AM West Fourth Street Waterloo, IA Mid-Missouri Pridefest

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MAY 2012

the fun guide

MAY 2012

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I.C. Kings Drag King Troupe Interview by Angela Geno-Stumme

JT Amore Franky D. Lover, Hugh Jindapants, Joey D, JT Amore, and Julius Fever come together to discuss IC Kings. IC Kings is a Drag King troupe based out of Iowa City with regular performances at Studio 13.

How, why and when did I.C. Kings form?

Joey D. We all have a different story and different paths that brought us to the IC kings.

In the beginning it took a lot of different energy, involvement, and support to get us off the ground. That’s what makes it a troupe vs. an individual drag career.

Franky D. Lover I am one of the co-founders of the group, along with Andrew Ogynous, who is currently living out of state. The group formed after much talking and brainstorming, between Andrew and myself with input from other friends and community members, in 2008.

It became clear that forming a drag king performance troupe would not only be fun for us (the performers), but it would be something new and interesting for people in the community. It would be entertaining and put kings in the spotlight, having our own show, which (to my knowledge) had never happened before in Iowa.

It is hard to pinpoint when the group “started”, but the mark I use is April 2009.

That month was the first time when we, the I.C. Kings, were the main performers for our own show. Andrew Ogynous, Joey D., and myself performed at Firewater in Iowa City. That was the first time we had a performance, together, as headliners, using the I.C. Kings as our group name.

Many more performers have joined the group since April 2009 and some people have had to move away. But each king brings something unique when they hit the stage! And a major boost came when we started to do regular monthly show at Studio 13, in January of 2010.

Who are your members at present?

Franky D. Lover Right now, the in-town members are: Franky D. Lover, Hugh Jindapants, Joey D., JT Amore, Megalicious (femme), Cinnamon (femme), Julius Fever, Roman C. Lover, Mercury Keenis, Jacques Straap, and Romeo. Megalicious has a king persona of Rex Rockwood and Cinnamon has a

Julius Fever Franky D. Lover Hugh Jindapants Joey D. king persona of Scott Abigwun. Members phers...basically anyone who had strong songs and sound effects, and several other who have moved out of state are Andrew and changing images. A key example genres: punk, funk, R&B, rap, 70s & 80s, Ogynous, Clint Taurus, Lord Mick. would be Madonna. I have always thought country.

Influences or role models? the idea of transforming into another Joey D Hugh Jindapants character was intriguing.

Variety, high energy, changing things Fred Durst—the penultimate douche But I also know many drag queens up, and I love to get the crowd going. bag! and have loved seeing their drag shows. Franky D Lover Julius Fever My friends have been a Franky is always a Eugene Hutz and every smarmy man major influence. Many lover! I can be everyin existence. of them have their thing from sexy, suave JT Amore own talents, in drag and romantic, to fiery I started doing drag when I was a performance, photogand punk, to goofy, senior in high school raphy, music, singing, weird, dark or broodfor fun. My first role etc. Having a talented ing—sometimes tough model was Justin and supportive group and sometimes flamey.

Timberlake. However, of friends absolutely I like to mix things up, after a long break from made me realize that sometimes wearing drag, aside from JT, becoming a drag performer and starting slick dress clothes, or baggy pants and ball my role models were a drag king troupe were achievements caps, or tight pants and glam shirts. It’s fun Franky, Hugh, and within my reach. Special thanks to Kristin to keep the audience guessing.

Joey before I started Wieland, Lori Eiserman, Cori Vallentine, JT Amore performing with them. Megan Mathews and everyone in my JT’s style changes depending on the I will always remem- senior year Sexuality Studies classes, for songs that have been selected for a show ber my first king show helping me see the possibilities. All of my or he feels the most inspiration from. JT with all those fellas. drag “bros” in the I.C. Kings continue to has been a little bit of a douche, a little Each king had their inspire me, with their talent and zeal for bit of a sweetheart, but above all he just own unique style and performing. And I would not be half the likes having fun out on the stage. JT has charisma while performing. “man” I am without the love and support performed to R&B, Hip-Hop, Pop, Rock, Joey D Tomeka McGregor. and Country.

When I first performed in drag I was How do you describe your individual Julius Fever working with several drag queens in style?

Julius is an ambiguously European Tennessee. They were my foundational Hugh Jindapants farce. His exaggerated masculinity comes role models as I learned the tricks of the Each of us developed a unique person- in the form of a bushy mustache, greasy trade, and how to stay inspired. Specifical- ality for our drag characters. Hugh’s is an pompadour, leather pants and gold— ly Ondreah Montrose was amazing—she extreme version of masculinity. He’s often lots and lots of gold. He’s the kind of guy came out and danced and has definitely lovingly referred to as douche bag. Hugh who if he really existed, he’d drive a red been an artistic inspiration for me. is typically drawn to douchey music like El Camino while his bleach-blonde girlFranky D. Lover Limp Bizkit. But he also performs some friend Shirley sat in the back sucking on I was influenced by a variety of artists live songs; some female songs that have a lollipop. You wouldn’t want him to date and performers, not in the drag arena. This been altered to male voices, original mash- your daughter. includes actors, musicians, and photogra- ups made by him that combine multiple Julius does high energy, upbeat songs that usually aren’t that contemporary but are well known. It’s got to be something that he can shake his butt (and his junk) to, or something that’s going to get some laughs. Julius’s top songs are “Start Wearing Purple” by Gogol Bordello, “Hot Hot Hot” by Buster Poindexter, “Gay Bar”

by Electric Six, and “Amish Paradise” a parody by Weird Al Yankovich.

Julius dons an authentic Amish ensemble for Amish Paradise, complete with suspenders, wide brimmed hat, and an Amish wife wearing a cape-dress and bonnet. He’s also been known to show up in Hugh Jindapants’s performance of Blind Melon’s “No Rain,” dressed as a bumble bee.

What is a typical I.C. Kings show like?

Hugh Jindapants It’s ALWAYS a sight to be seen! We have a lot of regulars who commit to Franky D. Lover, Rex Rockwood, Joey D., and Hugh Jindapants. Photos courtesy I.C. Kings.

It became clear that forming a drag king performancetroupewould not only be fun for us (the performers), but it would be something new and interesting for people in the community.

Julius [has] been known to show up in Hugh Jindapants’s performance of Blind Melon’s “No Rain,” dressed as a bumble bee.

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DIVERSITY FOCUS Shift Luncheon Series happens during lunch, and is primarily business focused and there is traditionally a fee. Our Shift Lecture Series is designed to be free and be open to everyone.

And we are looking to explore how we can incorporate that into some of the community needs.

Now you recently partnered with Cedar Rapids PFLAG? We partnered with them in a Community Conversation Embracing the LGBT Youth and Families, which happened at Roseville Middle School.

Is that something you’re hoping to continue with others?

The goal is to strengthen communities by strengthening the organizations that support these communities. We want to have dialogues about the things in the communities that are important to them, and specifically talk about solutions. Whether it’s around economic development, or whether it’s around health and well being, or it could be around education (which that was), or it could be around employment, or it could be around arts and culture. We want to do things that would add value to the community.

What is your Ambassador Program?

Our Ambassador Program hasn’t been as robust as we have wanted it to be. We’ve started work with an inventor who has come up with a tool that we think will make the Ambassador Program and the Find It Program even more valuable than they are today. What we do realize, and this has been common across all the communities that we’ve partnered with, is that people want to find their tribe.

the fun guide

And you’ll find that, even in The Blue Zone (the book), as we’re starting to think of things around the Healthiest State Initiative. One of the key things around the Power Nine Initiatives is family, friends, and a sense of community.

We are putting in and investing a lot of time in making that program even more robust.

We want people to immediately and quickly connect with people—that in essence, will make them feel like this is a great place to live.

And give them the type of advice, counsel, and information that people are looking for. We have found that a common thread around every community is a desire to quickly be able to find the group that you can connect to.

Now I know you work with a lot of larger corporations and business, and you also work with individuals. Can you give me an idea who can access what type of programs with Diversity Focus?

Our programs are open to the overall community. Our sponsors are really sponsors because they want us to work with the community in order to make sure that everyone can live a healthy, happy, and prosperous life. But all of our programs are open to the community. What we have been attempting to do is to go more to the community and to the leaders, to make sure our programming is relevant to them.

Four sets of things that we work on when we take a look at our programming. One, is our Shift speaker and Lecture Series, which is trying to have leaders shift people’s way of thinking about diversity. Two, is our Inclusive Community Programming, where we are looking at television shows, magazines—we’re bringing our magazine back since we haven’t produced it in a couple of years, and town Hall meetings. Things we can do to really engage the dialogue and the discussion within the

community, and talk about the relevancy of the solutions that we have. The third one is focusing on training and development, which focuses on our student leadership conference where we’re working with young leaders. We are focusing on working with the police, where we train and do development around diversity and inclusion…or diversity and inclusive training around corporations. We’re also exploring other summer programs to prepare the next generation of leaders for many of the companies and universities in the area. The last one is what we call LENS, which is our student leadership series. That’s where we are working with organizations, looking at their programming, and then we’re helping make sure that their programming is getting out to the broader community. And so, things that we are doing with organizations like NAACP, a program that we want to do with PFLAG, a program that we are doing with Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated, or United Way. We’re working with large and small organizations to make the communities more aware of their programs and supporting them.

You’re located in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids Corridor. How broad is the community you work with? Will people outside of the Corridor, like western Iowa, will they still be able to use some of your resources, or are you focusing on the Cedar Rapids/ Iowa City area?

Any of the recourses that we have, we are very open to talking to and for people to access those resources that we have available.

We do spend time across the state, whether it’s in Dubuque or in Oskaloosa, talking to people about our mission and the direction where we are going. The impact that we want all of our work to do, we want people across

MAY 2012

the state to be aware of, is the impact within the Corridor.

So you’re open for individuals outside that area?

Absolutely.

If people from these communities want to help with your broadening within the LGBT community, do they go to the website?

They definitely van go to the website, diversityfocus.org. There’s a place where they can send us a note, give us comments or feedback, or even support and say that they would like to volunteer in some way. They can connect through Facebook and Twitter.

And then they can go to any of the upcoming LGBT community conferences, correct?

If they would like to be a part of that, they are more than welcome as we continue to form and develop them. Our goal is for our councils to be able to give us a broader feeling of what the community is looking for. That would be a great way of adding to the work that we are doing.

And then again, our Town Hall meetings are a way for the whole community to come together and to talk to us about the solutions that we are looking at. And then let us know whether we should continue to pursue them.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

We think at Diversity Focus, the LGBT community is critically important to us in creating an environment in the community where everyone can live healthy, happy and prosperous lives. And we’re really looking forward to partnering with the leaders of the organizations and our sponsors in order to do what we can to work with the community and to make the region better.

MAY 2012

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Hear Me Out by Chris Azzopardi Madonna, MDNA

No one can replace Madonna. We get it.

And should we not, the queen of pop’s latest electro-romp and eighth No. 1-charting album, MDNA, reminds us that, despite other “reductive”-sounding acts, she’s still… well, the queen. She brags with desperate swagger about being the best on “Some Girls,” presumably defending more than her bad romance with other chicks, and gets some kiss-ass from collaborator Nicki Minaj, who basically waxes her ego’s ego. If only the songs, from pretty pathetic radio-baiters to thrilling pop-art provocation, more successfully reinforced this claim that Madonna, at 53, is still knocking ’em dead. She pushes hard—much harder than she did on 2008’s phoned-in Hard Candy—but the ear-sores are still abundant on the tacky pompom cheer “Give Me All Your Luvin’,” ridiculous not only for its tween-leaning silliness but Madonna’s vexing desperation to be a girl, and sacrilegious William Orbit-produced “I’m a Sinner” that, while cheeky in tone, is obvious to the point of boredom. Where she triumphs are the confessionals: “I Don’t Give A,” coolly delivered in faux-rap, doesn’t just bare her usual candidness but shares the nitty-gritty diary dirt on her divorce from Guy Ritchie; resurrecting the ABBA groove of “Hung Up” with a cool acoustic frame, “Love Spent” is a telling rumination of a flatlining relationship. Of the two ballads, it’s the vulnerable and bereft “Falling Free”— again, suggestive of Ritchie—that sounds beautiful enough to have been a Ray of Light outtake (“Masterpiece” is drab throwback balladry that’s nothing to remember). The quiet introspection is offset by moments of suckering pop bliss, “Turn Up the Radio” (into her groove) and “Superstar” (a grade-

school love letter), that cast Madonna as her younger self, trying to fit in with those “girls” rather than standing out from them.

Hence the suggestive drug-laced album title, relentless narcissism, resistance to aging, collaborators du jour. But on “Gang Bang,” she shows us who’s boss: her boldest, most balls-out song in years, a bloodthirsty rip into an ex (wonder who that is), is a maniacal murder epic set to cinematic soundeffects of car chases and gun cocks that confirms Madonna—when she’s touting her own brand—isn’t all talk.

Grade: B-

Bruce Springsteen, Wrecking Ball

from “saints” to “whores”—headed toward freedom, peace and glory days. For nearly seven minutes he wails with mutually felt fervor, the gruffness of his voice rising with the music like an active volcano, before launching into a rousing spiritual celebration of life on “We Are Alive,” capturing the rawness of music from his prime—down to the scratchy LP crackles that open the track. Wrecking Ball is steeped in wideopen emotions of not just a city of ruins but a world of ruins, affected by warfare, commercialism and broken politics. His advice: “Don’t fall to your fears,” and he really means it; the title track is a powerful anthem of riled-up rage and perseverance, set to a driving thunderous march of drums and the late Clarence Clemons’ bittersweet sax accents. Bruce Springsteen isn’t The Boss for nothing.

Grade: B+

Also Out

The poetic voice of liberal America— the suffering, the broke, the hopeless— returns for a feisty follow-up to 2009’s Working on a Dream. It’s still a work in progress, as it turns out, on Wrecking Ball, where Bruce is looking forward to a “Land of Hope and Dreams,” imagining a train of people (hat-tip to Curtis Mayfield’s “People Get Ready”)—mostly dark horses,

Macy Gray, Covered Not even a meat dress has anything on her nuttiness, but Macy Gray still can’t seem to claim the fame. Having had a hard go at recapturing her early-2000s success, she takes a different approach, channeling herself through songs—and hilariously in a career-commentary skit with Nicole Scherzinger—that aren’t her own. From a moodier “Here Comes the Rain Again” to poignantly taking on Radiohead’s “Creep,” her surprising selections not only reach outside-the-box to fit her inner freak but sound wonderfully in-sync with Gray’s personality—and her ability to find a fresh twist on some done-to-death tunes. Just having her gruffness in place of Colbie Caillat’s vanilla voice on “Bubbly” practically puts the song in 3D.

The Hunger Games: Songs from District 12 and Beyond What, exactly, sounds like a dystopia where mere kids fight to the death? It’s hard to say, but T Bone Burnett’s big-name compilation definitely finds the right tone— disturbing, dramatic and achingly sad—to reflect such horror. Working against type, boy-balladeer Taylor Swift sings a quiet hymn—with The Civil Wars—that features her unadorned voice and a rootsy feel, working the haunting melody into sublime Bon Iver territory. “Just a Game,” sung beautifully by Birdy, fittingly borrows “Mad World”; Maroon 5, sounding nothing like Maroon 5, surprises with “Come Away to the Water”; and Miranda Lambert’s groupventure Pistol Annies is country tragedy at its best.

The All-American Rejects, Kids in the Street That teen-skewed emo pop? Time to move along, indeed. Indulging further— and harder—in rock, and easily surpassing their jacked-up third disc, Kids in the Street aims to redefine the Oklahoma quartet’s juvenile claim to popularity seven years ago, when their “Dirty Little Secret” became ours, too. “Beekeeper’s Daughter” doesn’t hold like past head-hangers, but orchestral flourishes—a new thing for the band—and a cute couplet (“You’re a pretty little flower/I’m a busy little bee”) keep it buzzing. Through the acoustic closer “I For You,” and especially on cool groove “Fast & Slow,” the 13-year-old band makes a pretty convincing argument that they’re grown up, and better for it.

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

Deep Inside Hollywood by Romeo San Vicente Sofia Vergara in bed with Sharon Stone and…

twist in the fantasy good news: their sex scene will also involve John Turturro, the writer and director of the project, who stars in the Hunglike film as a man forced into prostitution out of economic necessity. Look, don’t blame the messenger. And besides, it could be Woody Allen in that threeway instead of Turturro, because he’s co-starring in the film, as well.

So just count your blessings.

Tom Hardy as gay rugby star. Yes, we buy it.

Sofia Vergara courtesy Warner Bros.

Take one actress best known for an iconic lesbian role and another actress that lesbians simply wish would switch teams, put them both in a new film and what do you have? Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara in bed together in something called Fading Gigolo.

And while you’re pretending that the title of the film isn’t inherently off-putting and that you’re just happy to hear about a lesbian component in a new comedy, here’s bit of a

It wasn’t bad news to hear that Mickey Rourke wanted to play Welsh gay rubgy star Gareth Thomas in a new film about the athlete’s 2009 professional coming out process, but it was, admittedly, odd news.

After all, Rourke is in his late 50s and Thomas in his mid-30s. How would it work? And then came news that even Rourke wasn’t convinced he was up for the role’s physical demands. Enter Tom Hardy, currently in talks to take on the part. Talk about easy casting.

This is a man whose body is more than up to the challenge (see Warrior or Bronson for all the proof you need) and whose chameleonlike abilities can see him dance around the edges of a film like Inception or practically into the woodwork in films like Tinker Tailor

Solder Spy. And as for gay? He did that already too, slow-dancing with Gerard Butler in Rockn-Rolla. Somebody teach this guy the finer points of rugby and get the cameras rolling.

What that gay guy from Happy Endings is doing next

No, Adam Pally isn’t gay. He just plays one on TV. And the slovenly, irresponsible, no-rule-or-stereotype-abiding “Max,” on the hilarious, fast-paced sitcom Happy Endings, is unlike any gay character yet seen in primetime on a major network. So it’s good news to see the likeable Pally taking on a film role, during the show’s summer hiatus, in A.C.O.D. (which stands for “Adult Children of Divorce”). The comedy also stars Amy Poehler and Adam Scott, Jane Lynch, Jessica Alba and Catherine O’Hara. Weirdly enough, Poehler and Scott play romantic partners on Parks and Recreation but here Poehler will be Scott’s stepmother, the third wife of his older father. No word on what Pally’s character gets up to, but he’s showed a very specific kind of range on the other TV projects, notably as the “Young Hollywood Douchebag” on Californication and, well, the “douchey” guy on NTSF:SD:SUV. Here’s to future typecasting.

Barbra Streisand and Downton Abbey creator takes on Gypsy The sharp-tongued Dowager Countess might look askance, eyebrows at full arch, at a man who works for a living, but the man who invented her, Oscar-winning writer (for Gosford Park) and Downton Abbey imagineer Julian Fellowes, can’t seem to stop. Not only is season three of the hit Brit period soap already shooting, but now Fellowes has been hired by Universal to take a pass at the screenplay for their upcoming adaptation of Gypsy. Barbra Streisand and Joel Silver are producing the feature based on Stephen Sondheim and Arthur Laurents’ Tony Award-winning musical. For the young people out there, it’s the story of famed burlesque dancer Gypsy Rose Lee and her relationship with her mother Momma Rose, that already hit theaters in 1962. And as producer, it’s Streisand’s prerogative to play Momma Rose. And that’s just what she’s doing. Get ready, gays.

Romeo San Vicente gives roses to his Momma because she was nothing like Momma Rose. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

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MAY 2012

The Bookworm Sez by Terri Schlichenmeyer “Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That? A Modern Guide to Manners” by Henry Alford, c.2012, Twelve, $24.99 / $27.99 Canada, 243 pages Stop it.

Just cut it out. Quit snuffling, chomping your gum, and snapping your fingers in people’s faces. Don’t be rude and don’t do that thing with your foot, okay? Stop with those annoyingly intrusive questions, and by the way, no one appreciates your disgusting bodily noises.

Just. Quit. It. And because we don’t need any finger-pointing…“please.”

Why is it that manners are something we possess but no one else does? Why do

some things bother us, while others don’t?

And, as author Henry Alford asks with his new book, “Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That?”

Why do we bother with manners?

Henry Alford wondered that while he was in Tokyo. Japan, he says, is the “Fort Knox of the World Manners Reserve,” but we here in North America know a few things about that subject, too.

Scientists know, for instance, that we’re nicer to people we know. We define manners, not as protocol (a subset of mannerly behavior), but as sensitivity to others. Experts have hypothesized from where “Southern Charm” sprang. And when

Across 1 Where to pull your drawers open 5 More, to a minimalist 9 Auntie of Broadway 13 Jodie Foster’s role with the King 14 Precollege ed 15 Family group 16 Lovemaking response 17 Walk wearily 18 Carvey who cross-dressed as the Church Lady 19 Peggy portrayer on Mad Men 22 Meat that dangles 23 One way to cook fruit 24 Swedish automotive import 26 Buffy, for one 30 J. Edgar org.

33 Carpenter’s connector 35 Like a poor excuse 36 Writer of 54-Across 40 Type of seaman 41 Collette of United States of Tara 42 Army N.C.O. 43 Lip service?

46 P’s pronounced like R’s 48 Excess supply 50 Not digital 54 Drama in which 19-Across played a schoolmistress, with The 57 Jethrene Bodine portrayer Max 58 Military cross-dresser Jeanne 59 Tiny amount 60 Caspian Sea feeder 61 Falco of Nurse Jackie

it comes to manners, we unequivocally say that we present good manners, while bad manners are what others have.

Of course, though, in our zeal to be polite, we do boneheaded things. We don’t think. We don’t listen. We say “no problem” instead of “thank you,” or we apologize insincerely or not at all. We bum-pat, hug (or are horrified by huggers), and we often eschew email etiquette.

So why are we this way? One of the reasons might be what doctors call “inattentional blindness,” which means that we’re too focused on other things, to the detriment of being nice. We might not be adept at small talk. We hide behind a group, an email alias,

Q-PUZZLE: “Mad Women”

62 Shuttlecock 63 Sweaty guys get pinned to them 64 Can’t do without 65 Takes advantage of pupils?

Down

1 Edna and Judi Dench 2 Gay 3 One who comes slowly 4 Dorothy’s home 5 Durango dyke 6 Couture magazine 7 Oral pleasures at a gay bar

or a Facebook page because we can.

There are things we can do about widespread rudeness, however. Summon your inner chat-ability at parties, but know that there are limits. Teach manners to your children. Pay attention to cultural differences. Cultivate the art of the smart (but ohhh-so-genteel) comeback.

“Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That?” is a quirky book. It’s not exactly an etiquette book, although there’s advice in here. It’s not a how-to, either, unless you do a lot of reading between the lines.

No, I think this book is more of a look at how we behave (or don’t) and why it bothers author Henry Alford—and that last part is what makes this book worth a read: Alford is pretty good at being Everyman. Like him, aren’t we all grossed-out by unflushed public toilets? Don’t we all hate drivers with perpetually turned-on turn signals? Haven’t we all committed a faux pas that made us want to slink away?

This book holds a mirror up to our foibles and though it, too, has its impolite moments, it’s also got some laughs. I think if you’re rubbed wrong by rudeness, you’ll like it but beware—start reading “Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That?” and you may not be able to stop.

8 Naked people on the Sistine Chapel ceiling, e.g.

9 Roddy, who “went ape” in some movies 10 Couture magazineWistful word 11 “The way to a heart ...”

12 Bambi doe 20 Treasured violin 21 Rev. White of Soulforce 25 Hit the ball softly 27 Targets of a masher?

28 Web info source 29 Diggs play about leased digs 30 Result of shooting off antiaircraft guns 31 Netanyahu’s nickname 32 Woes of the world 34 Norse thunder deity 37 1957 Cole Porter musical 38 With a little help from Viagra 39 “ and tigers and bears ...”

44 Conduit bend 45 Without warning 47 Mysore misters 49 Make a swap 51 One under a captain 52 Really queer 53 Jodie Foster and Larry Kramer, to Yale 54 Irene ofFame 55 Cops, slangily 56 Lake traveled by Ohio ferries 57 Bottom of the Thames

• SOLUTION ON PAGE 26

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Under Construction : ACCESSline’s Heartland Recurring Events List

ACCESSline’s Recurring Events List is and has been provided by ACCESSline readers. With the added communities of ACCESSline’s Heartland Newspaper, the list is need of a large overhaul. We need readers to continue to help and update the list.

Please submit recurring events to ManagingEditor@ ACCESSlineIowa.com.

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IC KINGS attending every show. In addition, we constantly run across new audience members who contact us on Facebook after their first show. Each King brings his own element to our group, which is why I believe it functions so well. We have our own preferences and special acts that include: characters, extras, plots, theatrical acting and all kinds of props. We use projectors, lights, live singing, musical instruments, and voice modifiers.

We have everything from very convincing male impersonators, female impersonators, bumblebees, a human joint and human doobie, giant bunnies, caterpillars, Amish people… George Bush even makes an appearance every so often!

Franky D. Lover Each show has drag king performers, on stage, with music and lighting. We also have an awesome MC, taking the audience through the show. There’s time to dance too with all types of music! Some shows have themes that lean to particular genres, but it’s usually a mix of music.

If you come to an I.C. Kings show, you’ll feel welcomed, energized and you’ll always see something you don’t expect. Our lineup of performers changes; so sometimes you’ll see a new face on stage, or you’ll see a crazy skit, or an awesome multimedia piece, or just good ol’ showmanship and crowd interaction. It’s awesome, it might open your mind a little and you can bring all your friends.

Where and when do you perform?

Hugh Jindapants Cedar Rapids, Iowa City, Ames, Waterloo, Coggon, and Clinton—usually with a show the last Thursday of every month at Studio 13.

Franky D. Lover We perform the last Thursday of every month at Studio 13 in Iowa City. Generally, we start at 9pm for our “first half ” and start the second show at 10:30pm.

Each part is unique. The schedule changes from time to time, if there is a holiday or conflict, but we keep people updated on our facebook page.

“Dream and dream big. It doesn’t matter where you come from, what color you are, what shape you are, be the best that you can be.”

— Latrice Royale, in her farewell speech after being eliminated from RuPaul’s Drag Race, Season 4 Episode 11

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the fun guide

MAY 2012

Out of Town: Upstate New York Vacations by Andrew Collins The recent legalization of same-sex marriage in New York has given a number of classic romantic vacation spots throughout the state’s northern and western regions.

Of particular note are the Adirondacks and the Finger Lakes, two areas that abound with gorgeous natural scenery and charming accommodations; the former is also a renowned winemaking region. Near the Finger Lakes, the progressive, culturally vibrant city of Rochester is a better choice if you’re seeking an affordable, gay-friendly urban weekend getaway.

Here’s a quick profile of these three upstate New York destinations steadily earning cache with the LGBT market.

The Adirondacks

Made up of more than 46 peaks that soar above 4,000 feet and a mix of hardscrabble villages and dapper resort towns, the Adirondacks region (visitadirondacks. com) encompasses one of the largest state parks in the country. The park’s southern gateway is Lake George, a well-developed vacation center popular with families and rife with amusements, from riverboat cruises to mini golf centers.

Venture north along Rtes. 28 and 30 through North Creek, Blue Mountain Lake, Long Lake, and Tupper Lake and you’ll discover some of the prettiest road-tripping, hiking and boating in the Northeast. Key attractions in these parts include the Adirondack Museum, a rambling 32-acre living-history museum that traces the region’s history in fascinating detail, and the Wild Center, where clever exhibits interpret everything from local wildlife to the geology of the Adirondack’s soaring peaks. Or head up Interstate 87, taking Rte. 73 west to reach storied Lake Placid, a lively hub of recreation and relaxation that’s hosted the Winter Olympics on two occasions.

Many of the swankier dining options in these parts are in Lake Placid, with Brown Dog Cafe and Wine Bar, Red’s Eats, Caffe Rustica and Eat ‘n Meet Grill (in Saranac Lake) scoring high marks for great food and inviting settings. A New Leaf Coffeehouse is a funky stop for java, and in a wooded grove between Lake Placid and Saranac Lake, kitschy TailO’-Pup makes a fun stop for a lobster roll or a platter of barbecue ribs (you’ll find affordable cabins on-site, too). Down in the area’s southern reaches, check out casual Basil and Wicks in North Creek for well-prepared comfort favorites or nearby BarVino for creative regional American fare.

Both members of the revered Relais & Chateaux group, the upscale Lake Placid Lodge (lakeplacidlodge.com) and ultraexclusive, completely secluded Point Resort (thepointresort.com) are among the plushest accommodations in the Adirondacks. The historic family-operated and quite gay-friendly Mirror Lake Inn (mirrorlakeinn.com) is less pricey but still upscale, with an excellent spa and three restaurants on-site as well. In the heart of downtown Lake Placid, the Haus on Mirror Lake (thehauslp.com) has handsome rooms with full kitchens and contemporary Adirondack furniture.

Other good LGBT-welcoming bets around the area include the charming Porcupine Lodge (theporcupine.com) in Saranac Lake, and the tidy and affordable Shamrock Motel

& Cottages (shamrockmotellonglake.com) on the shores of Long Lake. Farther south in the village of Chestertown, Fern Lodge (thefernlodge.com) is an intimate B&B with spacious, warmly furnished rooms and a lovely setting on a tiny lake, and the nearby Friends Lake Inn (friendslake.com) is also quite nice.

The Finger Lakes

For its acclaimed Riesling as well as increasingly well-regarded Chardonnay, Cabernet Franc and Pinot Noir, the Finger Lakes wine region (fingerlakeswinecountry. com) has developed into top winemaking area in the eastern United States. More than 100 wineries thrive in this land of 11 deep, narrow lakes.

Seneca Lake (senecalakewine.com) is at the center of the wine country, but neighboring Cayuga (cayugawinetrail.com) and Keuka (keukawinetrail.com) lakes also have plenty of prominent wineries. Some highlights include Red Newt Cellars, the purview of openly gay winemaker Brandon Seager and the home of a sensational restaurant. Just down the road, Atwater Estate turns out terrific Cabernet Franc and Riesling and has also been a venue of same-sex weddings (the lake view is impressive). Wagner Vineyards produces not only a bounty of great wines but also well-crafted microbrews. And Finger Lakes Distilling earns kudos for its aromatic gin, bourbons and distinctive aperitifs. Also consider Miles Wine Cellars, Anthony Road, Hermann J. Wiemer and Dr. Frank’s Vinifera Wine Cellars, a Riesling legend on Keuka Lake.

Other highlights in these parts include the liberal college town of Ithaca (visitithaca. com), home to Ithaca College and the main campus of Cornell University, as well as such cultural gems as the Hangar Theater and Kitchen Theatre, and the Cayuga Nature Center, with its many trails and animal enclosures. Also spend some time in the small, rejuvenated city of Corning, home to excellent Corning Museum of Glass, which showcases a collection of glassworks dating back 35 centuries; the Rockwell Museum of Western Art, with an outstanding collection of Western and Native American artworks; and the several blocks of distinctive shops, galleries, and restaurants that make up the Gaffer Historic District.

For dining, favorites along the Seneca Lake shoreline include the Stonecat Cafe, which serves boldly seasoned, rustic American fare, and Suzanne, which occupies a rambling old farmhouse and serves artfully plated dinners with the same genial pace and warm service you might encounter at a dinner party. In nearby Ithaca, students get their fix of cheap and authentic ethnic food at Saigon Kitchen and Sticky Rice Thai & Laotian, and coffeehouse culture thrives at Collegetown Bagels up on the hill near Cornell’s campus as well as downtown. Near here, the urbane Just A Taste Wine & Tapas serves stellar Spanishinspired small plates, the cozy Carriage House Cafe turns out delicious breakfasts and lunches, and iconic Moosewood Restaurant draws devotees of vegetarian cooking. Noteworthy in Corning are cheap-and-cheerful Atlas Brick Over Pizzeria and elegant Three Birds Restaurant.

Gay nightlife is limited in these parts, but Ithaca bars are quite mixed gay/straight—

Wagner Vineyards is one of the more than 100 wineries thrive in New York’s scenic Finger Lakes region. Photo courtesy of Andrew Collins especially Felicia’s Atomic Age and the of inexpensive eateries. In the trendy AtlanticOasis—and not too far from the area, you’ll University neighborhood, both Lento and find gay in Elmira (Chill) and Binghamton gay-owned Edibles earn acclaim for inventive (Merlins). cooking and lively ambience, as do nearby An excellent base for wine-touring at the spots like Mise en Place in the up-and-coming southern tip of Seneca Lake, the Watkins Glen South Wedge district, and Cafe Cibon in the Harbor Hotel (watkinsglenharborhotel.com) hip Park Avenue area. You’ll also find plenty contains 104 airy and modern rooms, many of GLBT folks sipping java at Equal Grounds in with water views, as well as the excellent South Wedge and at Java’s Cafe by downtown’s Blue Pointe Grille. In Ithaca, you can enjoy the Eastman Theatre. solicitous service of staffers from the prestiFor gay nightlife, 140 Alexander is gious Cornell School of Hotel Administration popular with college students and younger at the Statler Hotel (statlerhotel.cornell.edu), scene-y sorts, and Tilt Nightclub revs up for and a full resort experience at La Tourelle dancing on weekends. Elegant and fun mixed Resort and Spa (.latourelle.com), which has a venues in South Wedge include Lux Lounge very good spa as well as the excellent Simply and Solera Wine Bar. More intimate neighborRed Bistro and John Thomas Steakhouse. hood haunts include Bachelor Forum and Quirkier, more distinctive inns prolifer- Avenue Pub. ate in these parts, including a few romantic The city has several gay-friendly inns, gay-owned options: the sumptuous, art- among them the Edward Harris House filled Juniper Hill B&B (atjuniperhill.com) (edwardharrishouse.com), in the historic in Trumansburg; the John Morris Manor East Avenue district, and Ellwanger Estate (johnmorrismanor.com), overlooking the (ellwangerestate.com), on beautiful grounds northern end of Cayuga Lake in Seneca Falls; in the Mount Hope Preservation Garden the Black Walnut B&B (blackwalnutny.com), neighborhood. Downtown’s old-world Inn on which dates to 1804; and the Greek Revival Broadway (innonbroadway.com) is an elegant Hillcrest Manor (corninghillcrestmanor. boutique property with stunning rooms. com) in Corning. In downtown Ithaca, the Close to Eastman House, the Strathallan Hotel gay-friendly, Queen Anne–style William (strathallan.com) is a reasonably priced and Henry Miller Inn (millerinn.com) is another comfortable option that’s undergoing a topgreat option. to-bottom renovation slated for completion in summer 2012. Also keep an eye out for East Avenue Inn & Suites (theeastavenueinn. com)—this formerly dated and dowdy propMore than any other city in upstate New erty in a great neighborhood is receiving a York, the urbane educational and business major makeover, with new rooms debuting hub of Rochester (visitrochester.com) has this spring. long cultivated a progressive bent. It’s the Andrew Collins covers gay travel for the hometown of women’s suffragist Susan B. New York Times-owned website GayTravel.

Anthony, whose home is now a museum, About.com and is the author of Fodor’s Gay and a strong corporate environment (Kodak, Guide to the USA. He can be reached care of Xerox, Bausch & Lomb) continues to support this publication or at OutofTown@qsyndia robust arts scene. cate.com.

Rochester’s must-see attraction, the George Eastman House International Museum of Photography and Film, contains a trove of exhibits related to the history of photography and also presents intriguing rotating shows. Other enjoyable diversions include the Memorial Art Gallery and the Rochester Museum & Science Center.

For a relatively small city, Rochester supports a highly sophisticated dining scene that complements that of the nearby Finger Lakes—wine lists feature plenty of local wines, and many chefs in these parts favor regional ingredients. Foodies shouldn’t miss the Rochester Public Market, which features not only gorgeous produce but also a handful

Rochester

MAY 2012

Section 3: Community

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First Friday Breakfast Club : Cedar Rapids Pridefest 2012 A New Vision for Iowa’s Landgrant University by Bruce Carr

Steven Leath, President of Iowa State University Our guest speaker on Friday morning, April 6th, was the new president of Iowa State University, Steven Leath, who began his tenure as the university’s fifteenth CEO last January.

After ascertaining that there were surely as many Cyclones as Hawkeyes in his audience, Leath outlined for us some of his plans: “Iowa State is a great university but sometimes it’s undersold because people have been very humble about it,” he said. “We need to get our reputation up to the national and international level.… I think land grants— more than any other university type in this country—get their mission right. They’re based on high-quality education, research to benefit society, and then translating that research to effective engagement. That fits me well, that’s the kind of person I am.”

Economic development is “dear to my heart,” he said, and an area where ISU has traditionally done well. But he sees room for growth, especially when it comes to partnering with private companies to further scientific research, and to deliver the results

of that research to society. “I think I can have a major impact on being the go-to university for these types of things. *** We want to be that one university that is the best place to do public-private partnerships.” Forming these kinds of partnerships—focusing on demanddriven service to the state—means going outside of Ames, to Des Moines in particular, but also to the four corners. “So we listen,” Leath said.

In Q&A following his talk, Leath mentioned in particular his appearing personally at the Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference The Rainbow Effect in Ames last February— against the counsel of some of his advisors although the event was sponsored by ISU’s Division of Student Affairs. (At the restaurant afterward, he and his wife felt severely underdressed when they encountered members of the Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus who had just finished performing at the conference —in their tuxedos.)

Trained as a plant scientist, Steven Leath served at three universities in teaching, research, and economic development posts en route to the ISU presidency. At North Carolina State University, Raleigh, Leath held several positions, including director of the NC Agricultural Research Service (ARS), associate dean of the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences, professor, and research leader and plant pathologist with the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s ARS. He began his academic career at the University of Illinois, Urbana, as an extension plant pathologist. His academic degrees include a BS from Penn State, an MS in plant science from the University of Delaware, and a Ph.D. in plant pathology from the University of Illinois.

Why Marriage Matters Iowa Since the 2009 Iowa Supreme Court’s unanimous Varnum v Brien ruling which extended the freedom to marry to loving, committed lesbian and gay couples, Iowa has been at the forefront of the battle for marriage equality. Iowa plays the unique role of being the only Midwestern state and one of only six states in the nation that recognizes the marriages of gay and lesbian couples.

Protecting marriage equality is a crucial component of One Iowa’s mission of full equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) Iowans. That is why One Iowa is partnering with the nation’s leading marriage equality advocacy organization, Freedom to Marry, to launch a new public education campaign aimed at increasing state support for marriage and Iowa’s gay families Why Marriage Matters Iowa facilitates conversations across the state by equipping supporters with the tools to effectively tell their stories and engage in conversations about why marriage matters. Talking about how sharing in the commitment of marriage has helped families while hurting no one, the campaign aims to build solid majority support

for marriage here in Iowa.

This multi-faceted approach is designed to do one thing – have as many conversations as possible about why marriage matters.

Our new, robust House Party program will reach conflicted Iowans in the comfort of a friend or family member’s home.

More than people across the state have joined our new Speakers Bureau program. We are actively working with Iowans who wish speak at key events in their communities, such as rotary clubs, chambers of commerce, church groups, and other social gatherings–all to spread the message about why marriage matters.

We are also enlisting the help of college students through our on-campus program.

Studies show time and again that college students overwhelmingly support marriage equality. This effort equips students with the tools they need to go back to their home towns over the summer and talk to their friends and loved ones about marriage equality.

Please visit the new Why Marriage Matters Website at: www.whymarriagemattersiowa.org

Pridefest 2012 will be held June 2nd, from 12-6 PM at Greene Square Park, downtown Cedar Rapids.

Performances will be by Mass Faurot & Crist, Belle’s Basix Showcast, Iowa City Drag Kings, Gayla Drake & Guests, Miss Gay Iowa US of A and Mr. Gay Iowa US of A 2012.

Mike Maas and Carlis Faurot have been at the foreground of Eastern Iowa music for over 20 years. Original cast members of Liar’s Holographic Radio Theatre and half of the acclaimed folk group Black Sheep. Mike-john have played in folk and rock bands in the

Chicago area, and was an original member in the Cedar Rapids band “Subject to Change”.

After an extended rest period, Mike-john have gotten the playing bug again. Together they play a mix of Folk, swing, jazz and blues.

Gayla Drake is a force in songwriting and guitar performance. With 15 CDs to her credit, she is an artist who has made major contributions to her field. Seen as one of the top 100 acoustic guitarists on the planet, she has recently been chosen by Broken Blues as one of the top 100 acoustic CDs of all time.

Pridefest 2012 is open to all.

May 19-NAACP Youth Empowerment Luncheon NAACP Youth Empowerment Luncheon is from 11:30 am - 1:30 pm at the Clarion Hotel, Cedar Rapids. The NAACP believes strongly that future leaders must be developed today.

Join us and celebrate the Creative Corridor’s 2012 graduating African-American high school students’ scholastic accomplishments.

Spoken Word Artist, Azure Antoinette, will be the Diversity Focus SHIFT guest speaker.

Open to the public. Invited graduating seniors will receive 4 free tickets for their guests. $15 for public tickets.

For more information about the luncheon, contact Davena Johnson at dajohnson@cr.k12.ia.us. Click here to learn more about NAACP of Cedar Rapids/Iowa City.

May 19-Student Diversity Conference Unplugged

Student Leadership Conference Unplugged is specifically designed for past participants of Diversity Focus’ Student Leadership Conferences. This intimate session with poet/artist and youth advocate, Azure Antoinette, from 2 pm–4 pm, will engage students and provide a discussion of the struggles and achievements of youth today. Azure Antoinette has spoke at youth events and conferences around the country, using spoken word poetry, influencing youth to be themselves and create change in their own communities.

Free to attend, limited seating for students who have not attended Student Leadership Conferences.

Diversity Focus Vision: The mission of Diversity Focus is to lead in the promotion of diversity, cultural awareness and inclusion in our Corridor community. diversityfocus.org

Diversity Focus May Events

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Section 3: Community

MAY 2012

From the Pastor’s Pen by Rev. Jonathan Page Two years ago I sat, rather uncomfortably, in the upper room of Harvard’s Memorial Church. The discomfort was due to overstuffed leather chairs with no lumbar support that passed for stylish in that corner of Harvard Yard. Random old oil paintings from Harvard’s collections stared down at the fifty of us gathered there to hear a lecture by renowned Christian ethicist Mark Jordan. Mark’s topic for the evening: gay marriage. The lecture was riveting and surprising.

“My job,” Mark said, “as a Christian ethicist is to examine where God is present in people’s lives, and then to reflect on it. The topic of gay marriage presents as intriguing a subject as any other.” Mark began by laying out the history of Christian marriage.

Contrary to what many right wing Christians claim, marriage does not have a long history within Christianity. The Church Fathers lauded celibacy. Only in the Middle Ages do we find marriages happening in a Christian liturgical setting. Even at that point, marriage was more about property rights and security than love. Much of the modern day marriage ceremony is derived from that rite in spite of the fact that we conveniently ignore its origins.

Think about the white, virginal wedding gown and the tradition of a father giving away his daughter.

At its core, Mark argued, Christian marriage should be about seeking God’s blessing. If a couple wants the legal contractual recognition of their relationship, they should go to a town hall and get married.

If they want God’s blessing, they should go to a church or other religious setting.

Once you separate the civil part of marriage from the religious, you can reexamine the institution unencumbered by the current debate over the place of same-sex civil marriage in our society.

Mark spent several years interviewing gay couples from around the country who chose to get married in a Christian setting.

What intrigued him was that, despite the church’s broad opposition to gay marriage, gays had been getting married in churches for decades. What would prompt a couple to have their relationship blessed by God? What implications might their relationships and ceremonies have for rethinking concepts of marriage more broadly?

As Mark looked carefully at the subject, he realized that some of the gay couples he interviewed presented challenges for how

marriages are perceived. “Marriage in most Christian liturgies,” Mark noted, “assumes a monogamous relationship that lasts ‘until we are parted by death.’ What if a couple honestly considered their situation and realized that they wanted God’s blessing but could not commit for life? In the straight world that means divorce, but does it have to?” By this point in Mark’s lecture, all of us were leaning forward in our chairs. By making marriage about God’s blessing and not about some supposedly hallowed and set-in-stone rite, he was leading us places we had never gone.

Mark continued, “Other gay couples have poly-amorous relationships where three or more people have a long-term committed relationship. Could God bless those relationships?” Silence prevailed in the room. “It happens in straight couples all the time,” he pointed out, “and we use the term ‘mistress.’

Of course, in those relationships the mistress has no rights, and the gender balance usually places the man in a position of power. Are not gay poly-amorous relationships more honest?

There are also plenty of gay couples that have open relationships. The straight parlance is ‘cheating’ or ‘adultery.’ Are not open relationships more honest? Is there a way that God might bless them?”

As Mark finished his talk, everyone shifted uneasily in his or her chair. The undergraduate sitting next to me seemed

It is said that Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring mothers. It is celebrating motherhood, maternal bonds and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, yet most commonly in March, April, or May. Celebrations of mothers and motherhood occur throughout the world; many of these can be traced back to ancient festivals, like the Greek cult to Cybele, the Roman festival of Hilaria or the Christian Mothering Sunday celebration.

To some it is yet, another day, another day that they don’t speak or communicate with their mother because of differences, disagreements or death. For some it is a day to celebrate love, life and laughter recalling good times and enjoying those oh so special Worther’s or Hallmark moments with mom.

For me, it is both.

I was adopted, at birth, within my family. My Grandmother adopted me from her daughter at birth. Born to mother Sharon Marie Bush I was immediately adopted by Mildred Irene Bush. Today I see things perfectly as they were (are) but as a child growing up, let me tell you… It was a bit confusing having “two” moms.

Having two mom’s worrying about my grades and getting along in school, having two moms; one that drove and one that did not, having two moms worrying about my health issues growing up and being raised with “this” or “that” value.

One Thanksgiving (not realizing the

importance of THE day) as mom finished preparing the annual meal (Thanksgiving was always THEE biggest holiday and day of importance growing up, it is when the entire family joined together, at some point, throughout the day) I announced that I would not be eating turkey as I was not hungry for it and may I have some oatmeal with raisins please. When a 5 or 6 year-old has made up his or her mind (in their mind the decision is final) and for my mom, it was too. So she prepared me, promptly, oatmeal with raisins. My other mom was none too pleased about the spoiled state of affairs regarding this 5-6 year-old’s most inappropriate and untimely request. We all lived.

I was raised in a single parent family, nonetheless. Grandfather had committed suicide by the time I was old enough to recall his face. With Bright’s Disease (now called Kidney Failure) without medical help he felt it was best to end the suffering and the pain at the same time.

Growing up I don’t know if I realized that “normal” kids grew up with two parents. I don’t recall giving it much thought. I had a mom who was a mentor, a guide, a disciplinarian, someone who challenged me and who taught me many a good lessons. Lessons like, it is okay to talk to strangers. Lessons like, share what you have when others are in need despite how little you have. Lessons like, always be who you are. Lessons like, you can do anything you set your mind to. Lessons

like, blood is thicker than water and family does matter, no matter who they are and what they have done. And lessons like, it is better to treat others as you would like to be treated. Some lessons took little time for me to absorb and learn and others I am still working on.

I remember watching Early Frost. I asked my mom what she would do or think if I was gay. She said without hesitation that I am her son, I am loved and it would be ok. Within the year those words were put to a test. I met a man named Chuck whom I was to travel to California with for a weekend. We had been seeing each other for a few months. He had sent me a card, within a card within an envelope and yes, my mom’s “intuition” told her to open that piece of mail. And she did. When I got home I was promptly interrogated about this man named Chuck. I was told that if I was a faggot that I was dead to her. She would not have such a person living in her house. We didn’t speak one word to each other for days and soon to be weeks.

As I sat by the Missouri River one night with a .357 Magnum (loaded and ready) and realized that I was a bad person and that I needed to end my life of causing others pain with my case of homosexualism (it was a severe case you know.) Some friends found me. After long talks with others including an Omaha Catholic Priest who told me that I was loved, I was a child of God just as I am and that I mattered, I worked life out with my mom. My other mom thought it was phase, that I wasn’t really REAL gay, and that I would grow out of it. She said she loved me not matter what. Well, some 27 years later I am still gay so I don’t think it was a phase.

My other mom (Sharon) died in 1992.

What would prompt a couple to have their relationship blessed by God?

FFBC member Jonathan Page is senior pastor of the Ames United Church of Christ, 217 6th Street, Ames, Iowa. Sunday service at 10:45. He can be reached at jon@Amesucc.org. particularly unnerved. He had this starry-eyed vision of being married by age twenty-three with a white picket fence and two-point-two children. Mark had not so conveniently shaken his dreams of the traditional marriage and all it was supposed to mean. What about the rest of us? Is there a place for the rethinking of marriage in a Christian context? Maybe Mark is right. Maybe gays can teach straights a thing or two.

Celebrating Motherhood by Royal Bush, Multifaith Chaplain

I asked my mom what she would do or think if I was gay. She said without hesitation that I am her son, I am loved and it would be ok. Within the year those words were put to a test.

Multifaith Chaplain Royal D. Bush serves Inclusive Life, Council Bluffs, IA & Omaha, NE. He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling. Chaplain Royal is available in Omaha for premarital coaching, couples coaching, life coaching and pastoral care. In Iowa and Nebraska he is available for marriage ceremonies, end of life planning and funerals.

She was 44 when she died of a heart attack.

I miss my sister, I miss my other mom, I miss my friend, I miss her. She played such an important role in my upbringing and helped shape my life. Good times, we had many that bring a warm feeling to me, make me laugh and I recall some tough times too.

Today, mom is my biggest fan, and I realize as I get older, my mom gets smarter… she was there for my graduations. When I served as Emperor of the Imperial Court of

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MOTHERHOOD

MINOR DETAILS

JUST SAYIN’

Nebraska she was there at my Coronation.

To meet and greet (and at times live with) the three special men of my life, she loved her “extra boys.”

So on Mother’s Day I will celebrate my two moms with memories of love, life, and lots of times of imperfections. Despite it all I would not be the same person today if it was not for each moment of time that was given me growing up, the messages, the love and the permission to laugh and be me.

I can’t forget all of my “other” moms…

The moms of friends who befriended me and always had a word for me growing up and an invitation that I could not say no, to come by and share a plate of food at this or that holiday or family meal. No wonder I gained so much weight in my life… those darn moms!

My mom will be 94 years old this year.

She lives with my husband Jonathan and I. She treats him as one of her own. I am glad I can care for her, celebrate her and love her despite words that were once exchanged, love that I thought was lost and times that I didn’t think I should live. I celebrate each minute, each day and each moment I have with my mom. For me, knowing that she is in her final years, I realize I “get to” and I have the “privilege” of celebrating a women who was my mom, my friend, my father, my everything. Happy Mother’s Day, Love is… My mommy.

(BTW: Chuck joined us for dinner just a few weeks ago. Mom asks about him and always greets him with a “Well, hi how are you?” when he comes over.)

tion. On February 7, 2012 a three-judge panel of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals consisting of a conservative, a liberal, and a moderate judge agreed with Walker’s decision 2-1.

On February 21, Prop 8 supporters appealed the case to the full Ninth Circuit Court. If the Circuit Court decides to review the case, the decision could take a year or more before it heads to the Supreme Court.

Because this Supreme Court is so motivated by ideology, I am hoping this takes its time. I can’t trust this Court to do the legally right thing.

What will really matter is the political climate we the people create around this Court. The longer the process takes and the more lower judges that rule in favor of marriage equality, the more likely it is that this Court will too.

Time will give supporters of marriage equality the necessary opportunity to further change public opinion. If the case reaches this Court before Justice Kennedy, at least, sees the handwriting on the wall, it will be a long time before a negative decision will ever be overturned.

With the Supreme Court’s decision so final, with four ideologues who get their orders from the right-wing dominating Court decisions for decades, and with the other options being constitutional amendments or waiting until those four die, advocates need both the time and further efforts of all supporters to guarantee equal justice for all.

of youthful entitlement are when I pass a usually younger, attractive man and he gives the classic “glance away.” Realizing he doesn’t want any sort of human interaction, after locking eyes, he looks away as quickly as the vertebrae in his neck will allow his head to turn without permanent damage. Add to that the ego-crushing eye roll and quick escape to a safer, younger, non-threatening groups of guys.”

Men, if you are wondering if you’ve ever done that to someone, you probably have. I know I have and want to take this moment to apologize to any gentlemen who have suffered by this thoughtless behavior … wherever you are. I used to refer to men of a certain age as “lizards”,

ACCESSline Page 29 “trolls” or “troglodytes”(OMG, I’m SO SORRY). I would venture to guess that if we took a poll, most guys would have no clue that they even do this. Some others may revel in their “glance away” expertise.

Suffice it to say, it’s a tough world out there for all of us—especially ‘us’ bitter old queens!

Older, younger, hot/stud, nerd; everyone has their fears of inadequacy. It’s hard to imagine some young, bronzed, squarejawed muscle-god having any sense of what the rest of us wrestle with in our minds when it comes to life, love, relationships, self-image and self-worth. I have been out and had friends comment on some exceptionally gifted male specimen: “Wow, look at that!” My comment is usually: “Yes, he looks perfect. I just wonder if he’s proud and happy, on the inside?”

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Tom Mahony Pride Prom for Omaha LGBT Youth This year’s Tom Mahony Pride Prom is fast approaching. Every year the prom gains popularity and attendance has continually grown—with the last few years having 300 youth or more. Prom organizers are hopeful that this year’s turnout will continue that wonderful trend.

The Pride Prom will be held Saturday, May 19, from 7-11 p.m. in Cary Hall at First United Methodist Church, 7020 Cass Street, Omaha, Nebraska.

It’s the eighth annual prom for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth and their straight allies ages 13-23.

The dance will have a DJ, photographer, security officers and refreshments.

The theme is A Night on the Red Carpet.

Admission is payable at the door and is $6 per person or $5 with a can of food donation. The food will go to the Metropolitan Community Church of Omaha’s pantry, which provides services to the Nebraska AIDS Project and the community.

The event is one of the few places LGBT youth and allies can go and be themselves. Prom planners provide a safe and fun environment that allows the youth to dance the night away. Every year organizers hear how much the youth enjoy the prom.

Each year the community has supported the Pride Prom and organizers

once again are asking for support. If you would like to help keep this wonderful tradition going, please consider making a financial contribution. Donations may be sent to Proud Horizons, P.O. Box 390064, Omaha, NE 68139-0064. Please make checks payable to Proud Horizons.

A committee made up of members of Proud Horizons; Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG Omaha); the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN Omaha) and the metropolitan Omaha Gay Straight Alliances plan, staff and chaperone the prom. Donations to Pride Prom are tax deductible.

All donors will be recognized at the prom. If you wish to donate anonymously, let us know.

For more information about Pride Prom, email Carrie Spencer at proudhorizons@yahoo.com.

Visit the Tom Mahony Pride Prom Facebook page to stay up to date on all the prom plans.

Proud Horizons, sponsored by PFLAG Omaha, is a youth support group for LGBT youth and their allies and provides a safe space for youth to discuss life’s issues with their peers and to create a social network.

To learn more about Proud Horizons go to: proudhorizons.com or e-mail proudhorizons@yahoo.com.

MAY 2012

Be a Buddy, Not a Bully

By Nate Monson, Executive Director We are reminded again through tragedy that bullying remains a critical issue impacting our youth, families, schools, and communities.

Bullying is something that has become so prevalent in our society that nearly everyone can say that they or someone they know has been a victim of bullying.

Bullying can take many forms including name calling, gossip, cyber-bullying, or even physical violence. It can have severe consequences including youth physically harming each other and themselves.

Bullying rarely starts in its most violent form. It takes time to fester and grow into something worse. Words and phrases like ‘fag’, ‘dyke’, and ‘that’s so gay’ are the start of this growth of bullying.

I am reminded about a quote in the play The Laramie Project which documents the aftermath of Matthew Shepard’s murder in Laramie, Wyoming.

In the play the playwrights meet with a priest in town and the priest says “Every time that you are called a fag, or you are called a lez, or a dyke, do you realize that is violence? That is the seed of violence.”

When we allow students and adults even to say these things—that’s the seed of violence. Violence rarely starts in its most vile form—it will grow as it gets fed by more words, cyber-bullying, or beginnings of physical harassment.

We must all work together to eliminate these seeds of violence. This isn’t

just a school’s responsibility. This isn’t just a family’s responsibility. This is a community responsibility to eliminate the beginnings of bullying behavior.

Faith communities, schools, local organizations, and businesses must all work together to ensure our state is a safe and supportive place for all students.

We were reminded this past week that we have a long ways to go to be successful, but I believe it’s possible.

I heard that one of Kenneth’s favorite phrases was Be a Buddy, Not a Bully. We need to embrace this phrase and emulate it if we are to be successful.

That means we must take that extra ten minutes out of a day and talk with a youth that seems to be sitting alone. That means we as adults need to exhibit positive behavior if we wish youth to follow suit. The little things make the biggest difference when it comes to bullying.

Below you will find several resources and other research-based information on bullying that can help.

If you know a student struggling with bullying, please encourage them to talk with their school administrator immediately.

If you know a student who needs someone to talk to—The Trevor Project provides 24/7 LGBT youth suicide prevention assistance by calling 866-4887386.

Together we can eliminate bullying.

MAY 2012

Section 3: Community

ACCESSline Page 31

ACCESSline Page 32

Section 3: Community

MAY 2012

The Outfield by Dan Woog

Lisa Howe has hope

So much of life is about being in the right place at the right time.

For Lisa Howe, that meant that at the age of 25 being part of a group of young women who had grown up playing soccer. A Dallas native, she starred on a Barry College team that won the 1989 Division II national championship. She and many others were beginning their coaching careers at the exact moment a number of colleges—in response to Title IX—were introducing women’s soccer programs and hiring female coaches.

She started her new job as head coach of the Jacksonville (Alabama) State women’s team on April 1, 1995. By August she had to recruit an entire squad, hire a staff, market the program, develop a fan base—and, oh, yes, coach too. But the women quickly became one of the top teams in their conference.

Howe is very proud of her accomplishments. Yet in 2005—lured by the chance to move to a big city—she applied for the head-coaching job at Belmont University.

The Nashville school was Baptist-affiliated, and had a conservative reputation.

“I was hesitant,” Howe admitted. “But when I dropped off my resume, and then returned for an interview, I found the student body and faculty were a lot more liberal than Jacksonville. There were theater and dance

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DIGGING DEEPER a “tomboy,” a role that is commonly accepted and tolerated. Yet this in itself will not always keep her from the mental turmoil caused by the dichotomy she feels within. On the other hand, for a boy who feels like a girl, a similar option does not exist.

There is no “sue girl” category for them.

Many of them will begin finding ways to dress in female clothing early in life as a way to enjoy and express their feminine feelings.

Some may even seek out friendly females who will accept them as a sort of lesbian lover.

However the lack of an opportunity to freely express those feelings results in their having to keep this “secret life” private so others won’t find out. This then results in a great deal of frustration and anxiety for them to deal with in their lives.

In their desire to cope with their stress, some of them may make an attempt to become “gay” and seek males who will love them as females. This rarely works, however. Others, such as myself, made numerous attempts at trying to be a normal male, but that never worked either. In the end, many transgendered youngsters will try very hard to bury, and ignore, their feelings from everyone, including themselves, for as long as they possibly can.

In today’s society there exist many avenues of gender expression that were not present years ago. The internet has made a

programs—it was like apples to oranges.”

Howe had another reason to be hesitant: She’s a lesbian. But, she said, there was a reason her sexuality was not a deal-breaker: “It’s a Christian school, and I’m a Christian.”

But if much of life is about being in the right place at the right time, another part is about making the most of whatever situation one finds oneself in.

Six years later—after engineering a dramatic turnaround in Belmont’s program, and earning the respect of athletes and the rest of the community—Howe found herself in a difficult spot.

Her girlfriend was a few months away from delivering their baby. The partners had recently been at a wedding filled with other coaches and former Belmont players; her girlfriend was showing.

In November 2011 Howe came out to her players in a post-season meeting. She told them that she was in an eight-year relationship—and that soon she’d be a mom.

“I loved coaching,” she recalled earlier this month. “I’d prioritized team cohesion, and always tried to build team chemistry.

That requires trust, which we had a lot of, and honesty, which had not been full on my part.”

Many players probably suspected Howe was a lesbian, she said, and knew her partner.

But, she added, “they needed to know I

wealth of gender information available to all.

Numerous chat rooms and web sites today exist where the opportunity to learn and form friendships exists. These opportunities provide everyone with options to express themselves in a much more honest and open manner. Many localities have support groups such as Tri-Ess, GLBT groups, and other support groups to assist those struggling with their gender and sexual identities.

Every year an increasing number of people transition from living as one sex to living on the other side of the street as a member of the opposite sex—in part or entirely. Not everyone who transitions will undergo any physical modifications or undergo any hormone treatments. They are quite satisfied with that basic level of expression of their sexuality. Others will seek different levels of physical changes, ranging from hormones or electrolysis to implants. Every transgender or transsexual girl has different levels of feelings depending on their situation and timing of their transition. The majority of those people fall under the descriptive term transgender as their satisfaction is derived from living in the role of the opposite sex…A transgender person is not typically transsexual, and seeks to take their feelings even to a higher level. These are the people who wish to undergo the physical changes that will give them the sex they feel they should be.

Depending on the degree of this inner dichotomy, eventually some manner of coping has to be found. If the transsexual person is unable to find that outlet, such as the SRS surgery, suicide is a definite possibility. In my case, I was rapidly reaching that point, and I simply had to do something major in an attempt to find a way to let my feminine self out…if I hadn’t done that, I would not likely be here writing this today. That is how much stress I had evolved into over the years, and it was preoccupying all of my thoughts, thus making it difficult to accomplish much else.

wasn’t ashamed—that I’m proud of who I am. I wanted to be the one to tell the team, and let them know who I am and where I’m coming from.”

The players seemed pleased. (“We always wanted a team baby,” one told ESPN.) The administration—not so much.

Howe felt “angry, sad, liberated—all kinds of emotions.” After a battle of words in which Howe and administrators offered different reasons that she was leaving (their final statement, bound by confidentiality, mentions “mutual agreement”), Howe’s story went public.

Thanks to aggressive reporting by the Belmont student newspaper, Howe became a cause celebre. Team members, students, faculty members and people in Nashville who had never heard of Howe rushed to support her.

So did Mike Curb, a musician, record company executive, NASCAR owner and former Republican lieutenant governor of California, who was a major benefactor of Belmont.

“So many people stood up as active allies,” Howe said. “That really enlightened and empowered me.”

On April 27, 2011, her daughter— named, fittingly, Hope—was born. For the rest of the year Howe was a stay-at-home mom (with a few speaking engagements

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NW IA WEDDING They had not done much planning and they were behind on the process. They really needed the assistance and I am so glad that I was able to help make their day so special. The day went off without a single hiccup. What was so spectacular to me was that they did not have the budget for a planner and by winning the package they were able to have the wedding of their dreams! The groom thanked me at the reception and said that “if it wasn’t for Brandon and his services we would have not gotten married today.” I told him that they would have gotten married, it just would have been a different type of day!

Give me a short description of the work you do that goes into a wedding?

Now entering my ninth year in this industry I have had the great chance to learn many things from industry leaders. With that knowledge I am able to assist couples with their wedding day from details at the very beginning all the way down to the honeymoon. Whether it is décor, venue selection, entertainment, cuisine or many other areas I am available to help in almost every area of the wedding details.

Weddings are special to you but you also do other events, tell me about your most memorable event?

After starting up my business it was mainly weddings, but in the spring of 2011 I was approached by the president of Kozy Heat Fireplaces in Lakefield, MN. They had recently opened their new warehouse addition and they had an upcoming 35th Annual Dealers Meeting in June. They wanted to bring their dealers into the warehouse and showcase it to them along with the new line of fireplaces. A large warehouse with cement floors and large crates was transformed into a meeting space with Kozy Heat crates as 15’ walls and a tutorial space, as well a luncheon room that was perfect for the BBQ style that the client wanted! Dealers from

thrown in).

“If I had still been coaching soccer, I couldn’t have done that,” Howe noted.

But as of February 1, she has a new job.

Howe is now executive director of the Nashville GLBT Chamber of Commerce. Her goal is to raise membership from 70 its current businesses to 150, and to add many more benefits.

Her soccer coaching background should help, she said.

Leading the GLBT Chamber of Commerce “is all about relationships,” Howe explained.

“Whether you’re building those through sports, or through businesses working together, it’s not much different. And whether I’m running events and meetings, or setting a calendar and budget, it’s definitely similar to the administrative side of coaching.”

However, you can’t keep an old (well, former) coach down. And—in a nod to both being in the right place at the right time, and making the most of the situation she finds herself in—Lisa Howe concluded, “I may coach again one day too.”

After all, there’s always Hope.

Dan Woog is a journalist, educator, soccer coach, gay activist, and author of the “Jocks” series of books on gay male athletes.

Visit his website at www.danwoog.com. He can be reached care of this publication or at OutField@qsyndicate.com. all over the United States came to the annual meeting and they enjoyed the day of tutorial, education and entertainment!

What are some of the LGBT events you have worked on?

I was given the chance of a lifetime to help Fabulous Functions from the Twin Cities with a reception for two gentlemen that had been together for 25 years, celebrating their birthdays the same week and also the one year anniversary of their commitment to each other. Julie of Fabulous Functions had met me in the Twin Cities and even after moving back to Iowa we kept in touch and she offered me the opportunity to work with her on this event. The couple had the reception at their home in the backyard which was turned into a wonderland of travels that the couple had experienced together, with cuisine from their travels and outdoor luxury.

What are the best resources/venues/ services you have worked with in Northwest Iowa?

There are so many different venues and services that I know, that I am afraid I would forget someone, but there are a few that stand out in performance and presentation. Becoming a local chamber member is the best way to learn more about the local services provided in the wedding industry. The best resources would have to be The Clay County Regional Events Center in Spencer, The Inn at Okoboji and the Pearson Lakes Art Center of Okoboji for venues. The photographers and caterers around this area all have a certain expertise and it is hard to select one that sticks out above the rest. Desserts, there are plenty for couples to choose from in NW Iowa and Kay’s Kakes of Spencer and Play Cupcaketions of Spirit Lake are just to name a few.

You can contact Brandon and Northwest Iowa Wedding and Event through his website at www.nwiaweddingandevent.com, by phone at 712-260-8711, and email at brandon@nwiaweddingandevent.com.

MAY 2012 DIRECTORY NOTICE The ACCESSline community directory is updated each issue. LISTINGS ARE FREE but are limited by space.

Free online listings are available at www.ACCESSlineAMERICA.com.

Information about new listings must contain a phone number for publication and a contact (e-mail address, land address, or website) for our records. For more information or to provide corrections, please contact Editor@ACCESSlineAMERICA.com or call (712) 560-1807.

The ACCESSline is expanding our resource directory to include heartland resources outside of Iowa. Please bear with us as we continue improving our resource directory.

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS Breur Media Corporation : Website Consultation, Design, Programming, and Hosting.

HIV and STD Testing Sites near You, including places where you can get tested for free: hivtest.org/ Crisis or Suicide National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: suicidepreventionlifeline.org Information on Mental Health National Alliance on Mental Illness: nami.org Counseling, Information and Resources about Sexual Orientation GLBT National Help Center: glnh.org or 1-888-843-4564 Information on Mental Health for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender nami.org Information on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Health, cdc.gov Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005, victoryfund.org 202-VICTORY [842-8679] Human Rights Campaign, National political organization, lobbies congress for lesbian & gay issues, political training state and local, hrc.org, 1-800-777HRCF[4723] Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund I I E. Adams, Suite 1008, Chicago, IL 60603 lambdalegal.org, 312-663-4413 Fax: 312663-4307 National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) 1325 Massachusetts Ave NW, Ste 600, Washington, DC, 20005 ngltf.org / taskforce.org National Organization for Women (NOW) 733 15th ST NW, 2nd Floor Washington, DC 20005, now.org 202628-8669 PFLAG National Offices 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005, info@pflag.org - pflag.org, 202-467-8180 The Trevor Lifeline |Crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. (866) 4-U-TREVOR - (866) 488-7386 Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. All calls are toll-free and confidential thetrevorproject.org/

Iowa ORGANIZATIONS

Section 3: Community Iowa PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gay) State Council, PO Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125 http://community.pflag.org/Page. aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2 515-537-3126 or 641-583-2024 Iowa Pride Network 777 Third Street, Suite 312, Des Moines, Iowa 50309 Iowapridenetwork.org, Executive Director: 515-471-8062, Outreach Coordinator: 515471-8063 LGBT Youth in Iowa Schools Task Force PO Box 1997, Des Moines, 50306 515-243-1221 One Iowa 500 East Locust St, Ste 300, Des Moines, IA 50309 515-288-4019 Fax: 515-244-5846, OneIowa.org The Quire Eastern Iowa’s GLBT chorus, thequire.org

Ames, Iowa

First United Methodist Church 516 Kellogg Ave, Ames, IA 50010, Contemporary worship Sat. 5:30; Sun at 8:30 and 11:00am. acswebnetworks.com/firstunitedmcames/ 515-232-2750 ISU LGBTA Alliance GLBT Support, Activism, Social Events, Newsletter L East Student Office Space,2229 Lincoln Way, Ames, IA 50014-7163, alliance@ iastate.edu alliance.stuorg.iastate.edu 515-344-4478 Living with HIV Program 226 SE 16th Street, Ames, IA 50010, Ask for Janelle (Coordinator), 515-956-3312 ext 106 or 800-890-8230 Lord of Life Lutheran 2126 Gable Lane, Ames 50014, Services Sundays at 9:00a.m.; Wed. 7:00pm. 515233-2350 PFLAG Ames Youth and Shelter Services Offices, 2328 Bristol Drive, Ames, IA 5001, 2nd Tuesday, 7pm pflagames.org 515-291-3607 Romantics Pleasure Palace 117 Kellogg Street, Ames, IA 50010-3315 romantixonline.com 515-232-7717 United Church of Christ-Congregational 6th & Kellogg, Ames, 50010, Sunday Continental Breakfast, 9:00am; Sunday School, 9:30am; Worship 10:45am. uccames@ midiowa.net 515-232-9323 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Ames 1015 Hyland Ave. Services: 9:30 am and 11:30 am, Sunday, uufames.org uufa@ aol.com 515-292-5960 Unity Church of Ames 226 9th St, Ames, IA 50010-6210, Sunday service and Sunday school 10:30am.

Wednesday mediation 6:30pm, unityofames.com Daily dial-a-blessing 515233-1613

Arnolds Park, Okoboji, Spencer, Spirit Lake, Iowa The Royal Wedding Chapel 504 Church Street, Royal, IA 51357 712-933-2223 TheRoyalWeddingChapel. com Wilson Resource Center An Iowa Great Lakes area gay-owned, nonprofit community based organization.

PO Box 486, 597 W. Okoboji Rd., Arnolds Park IA 51331-0486 F.JosephWilson@aol.com. wilsonresource. org 712-332-5043

BURLINGTON, Iowa

Equality Iowa P.O. Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125, equalityiowa.org - 515-537-3126

Arrowhead Motel 2520 Mount Pleasant St, Burlington, IA 52601-2118 319-752-6353 arrowheadia.com

Faithful Voices Interfaith Alliance of Iowa’s marriage equality project. faithfulvoices.org

Faith Lutheran Church E L C A 3109 Sunnyside Ave, Burlington, IA 526012341

Imperial Court of Iowa Non-profit fundraising & social, statewide organization with members from across the State of Iowa.

PO Box 1491, Des Moines, IA 50306-1491 imperialcourtofiowa.org

HIV/AIDS Screening @ Des Moines County Health Department in Burlington, 522 N 3rd By appointment between 8:00am to 4:30 319-753-8217 Confidential

Iowa Chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) Janis Bowden, President, IA NOW janleebow@aol.com PO Box 41114, Des Moines, IA 503111 Iowa Gay Rodeo Association (IAGRA) 921 Diagonal Rd, Malcom, IA 50157 polebender60@yahoo.com 641-990-1411

RISQUES IV (adult store) 421 Dry Creek Ave, West Burlington, IA 52601 (319) 753-5455, Sun - Wed 8am-Midnight Thurs - Sat Open 24 Hours, LoversPlayground.com Steve’s Place 852 Washington St, Burlington, 319-7545868 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Services start at 10:30 am, 625 N 6th St, Burlington, IA 52601-5032, (319) 753-1895 - uuburlington.org

Cedar Falls - Waterloo, Iowa Adult Cinema 315 E 4th St, Waterloo, IA 50703-4703, (319) 234-7459 Black Hawk Co. Health Department Free HIV testing (donations accepted); MW, 1:00pm to 3:00pm; Thurs, 1:00pm to 4:45pm 1407 Independence Ave. (5th fl), Waterloo 50703 319-291 -2413 Cedar AIDS Support System (CASS) Service, support groups & trained volunteers for persons with HIV/AIDS in Waterloo/CF call Elizabeth or Karla, 319-272AIDS(2437). cvhospice@forbin.net Cedar Valley Counseling Services Promoting personal growth and development in a strengths-based environment, Joan E. Farstad, MA, Director. 319-2404615, cvcounseling.com farstd@cvcounseling.com.

Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry.

In Lutheran Center, 2616 College St, Cedar Falls, IA 319-415-5747, mcdinoiwa@aol.com, episcopalcampus.org Community AIDS Assistance Project (CAAP) PO Box 36, Waterloo, IA 50704 LGBTA Support Group at Hawkeye Community College, Call Carol at 319-296-4014 or carol.hedberg@hawkeyecollege.edu Iowa Legal Aid Free civil legal service available to low income persons who qualify under income/ asset guidelines.

607 Sycamore, #206, Waterloo, IA 50703 1-800-772-0039 or 319-235-7008 Kings & Queens 304 W. 4th St, Waterloo, IA, 319-232-3001 Romantix Waterloo (Adult Emporium) 1507 La Porte Rd, Waterloo, IA 50702 319-234-9340, romantixonline.com Stellas Guesthouse 324 Summit Ave, Waterloo, IA Private B&B, Overnight accommodations for adults only. 319-232-2122 St. Lukes Episcopal Church 2410 Melrose Dr, Cedar Falls, IA 50613 Services: Sunday 8:00 & 10:15, Thurs 11:30 319-277-8520- st-lukes-episcopal.org St. Timothys United Methodist Church 3220 Terrace Drive, Cedar Falls, 50613 sttims-umc.org, 319-266-0464, info@sttimsumc-org, “Welcome of all persons, including those of all sexual orientations and gender identities.”

Together For Youth 233 Vold Dr, Waterloo, IA 50703, TogetherForYouth.net 319-274-6768 UNI-LGBTA Alliance-Student Organization, 244A Bartlet Hall, University of Northern Iowa, Cedar Falls 50613 lgbta@uni.edu 319-222-0003 United Church of Christ Cedar Falls 9204 University Avenue, Cedar Falls, 319366-9686 Unitarian Universalist Society of Black Hawk County 3912 Cedar Heights Dr, Cedar Falls, IA, 319-266-5640

Cedar Rapids/marion, Iowa Adult Shop 630 66th Ave SW, 319-362-4939 Adult Shop North 5539 Crane Lane, 319-294-5360 Cedar Rapids Unity (formerly GLRC of Cedar Rapids) Social activities, non-profit Pride festival organization. PO Box 1643 Cedar Rapids 52406-1643 cedarrapidsunity.com Christ Episcopal Church “We have a place for you.” 220 40th Street NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404, 319-363-2029 - ChristEpiscopal.org Belle’s Basix Open 5pm to 2am M-F, Sat & Sun 3pm-2am 3916 1st Ave NE, Cedar Rapids 319363-3194 Club CO2, A GLBTQA Nightclub, 616 2nd Ave SE, 319-365-0225, Open 7 days a week 4-2pm, Happy hour from 4-8 pm, club-co2.com Coe Alliance GLBTQ and straight students, staff and people from the community. Coe College, 1220 First Ave NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402. coealliance@coe.edu or Erica Geers, faculty advisor at 319-8616025

Community Health Free Clinic 947 14th Avenue SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401 319-363-0416 - communityhfc.org Free Medical Services provided for the uninsured and underserved patients of Cedar Rapids, Marion and the surrounding areas in Eastern Iowa.

CSPS Legion Arts Contemporary Arts Center 1103 3rd St. SE, info@legionarts.org, 319364-1580 Eden United Church of Christ 351 8th Ave SW, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 (319) 362-7805 Sunday School 9am - Worship 10:15am Foundation 2 Crisis Counseling 24-hour telephone crisis counseling. f2crisis@aol.com or www.f2online.org 1540 2nd Ave. SE Cedar Rapids, IA 319-362-2174 or 800-332-4224 Linn County Public Health 501 13th NW, Free confidential HIV testing, 319-892-6000 Linn County Stonewall Democrats For more info, contact linnstonewall@ gmail.com People’s Church Unitarian Universalist A welcoming congregation. 4980 Gordon Ave NW, Cedar Rapids, IA, 11am Sunday.

319-362-9827 peoplesuu.org PFLAG CR, Linn Co and Beyond Support Group meets on the 4th Thursday at 7pm except for Nov Dec - call for details.

319-431-0673, pflaglcb@gmail.com The Linn County Stonewall Democrats Meet 2nd Wednesdays, Blue Strawberry, 118 2nd St SE in Cedar Rapids, IA. Contact Harvey S. Ross, HRoss007@aol.com.

Tri-ess, Iota Kappa Phi Chapter P.O. Box 8605, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52408 We are a transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. ri-ess.org, 319-390-6376, georgia523@ yahoo.com - marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Unity Center of Cedar Rapids “A center of positive, practical Christianity.”

4980 Gordon NE, Cedar Rapids unitycr.org - (319) 393-5422

CLINTON, Iowa 18 and Beyond (aka ABC Books), 135 5th Ave South, 563-242-7687 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Clinton 309 30th Avenue North, Clinton, IA 52732 (563) 242-4972 - uuclinton.org, Sunday services at 10:30 (year-round), Where YOUR spiritual and ethical journey is welcome!

Rev. Ruby Nancy, minister

Council Bluffs, Iowa Council Bluffs NOW Write PO Box 3325, Omaha, NE 681030325 Romantix Council Bluffs (North) (Adult Emporium) 3216 1st Ave, Council Bluffs, IA 51501-3353-romantixonline.com515-955-9756 Romantix Council Bluffs (South) (Romantix After Dark) 50662 189th St, Council Bluffs, IA 51503, romantixonline. com, 712-366-1764

Decorah, Iowa Decorah Human Rights Commission Contact: City Clerk, 400 Clairborne Dr, Decorah 563-382-3651, Meetings: First Tuesdays, 5:30pm Luther College Student Congregation Contact Office for College Ministry 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101, 563387-1040.

Luther College PRIDE-Diversity Center, 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101 Contact Charles 563-210-6570 PFLAG Northeast IA (Waukon/Decorah) Beginning May 23rd: meeting at Northeast Iowa Peace and Justice Center, 119 Winnebago Street, Decorah, IA (lower level), corner of Winnebago and Main Street, Meetings: 4th Mondays, 7pm-9pm Call Jean @ 563-535-7680 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Meets alternating Sundays at 10:30am, Decorah Senior Center, 806 River St, Call Bill at 563-382-3458.

Des Moines, Iowa AIDS Project of Central Iowa Free HIV testing, prevention supplies, care services, food pantry, information. 711 E. 2nd, Des Moines, IA 50309, 515-284-0245

ACCESSline Page 33 Blazing Saddle 416 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA - 515-2461299 theblazingsaddle.com Buddies Corral 418 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA - 515-2447140 Des Moines Pride Center @ One Iowa (temporary location) 419 SW, 8th St., Des Moines, IA 50309 Church of the Holy Spirit-MCC, Pastor Pat Esperanza Sunday service 10:30am at the 1st Christian Church 2500 University, Des Moines, chsmccdmia@aol.com 515-287-9787 Des Moines Diversity Chorus [A gay-friendly mixed chorus] Rehearsals on Mondays at 7 p.m. at Westminster Presbyterian Church, Beaver Ave. at Franklin St., Des Moines.

All are welcome, no auditions.

PO Box 65312, West Des moines, IA 50265 Julie Murphy, Artistic Director jahmurphy@hotmail.com, 515-255-3576, desmoinesdiversitychorus.org Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus 515-953-1540, 4126 Ingersoll Ave., Des Moines administrator@dmgmc.org Family Practice Center Safe, supportive LGBT health care. 200 Army Post Road, Ste 26, ppgi.org, 515953-7560 First Friday Breakfast Club Educational breakfast club for gay/bisexual men. Meets first Friday of each month.

Contact Jonathan Wilson for meeting topic and place. 515-288-2500 info@ffbciowa.org ffbciowa.org First Unitarian Church 1800 Bell Avenue, Services Sundays at 9:30 & 11am 515-244-8603, ucdsm.org The Gallery (adult store) 1000 Cherry St, Des Moines, IA 503094227 (515) 244-2916 Open 24 Hrs, LoversPlayground.com The Garden 112 SE 4th Des Moines, IA, 515-243-3965 Wed-Sun. 8pm-2am grdn.com Gay & Lesbian AA & AI-Anonymous Mon. 7 pm; Tues. - Thurs. 6 pm; Sat. 5:30 pm at Drake Ministries in Ed. Bldg. 28th & University Gay and Lesbian Issues Committee 4211 Grand Avenue, Level-3, Des Moines, IA 50312 515-277-1117 Lavender Victory Fund Financial assistance for women in need for medical emergencies. lavendervf@aol.com Le Boi Bar 508 Indianola Rd, Des Moines, IA Liberty Gifts 333 E. Grand Ave., Loft 105, Des Moines, IA Gay owned specialty clothing, jewelry, home decor. 515-508-0825 MINX Show Palace 1510 NE Broadway, Des Moines, IA 50313 Open m-th noon-2 a.m., f noon-3 am., sat 3 p.m.-e a.m. 515-266-2744 North Star Gay Rodeo Association of IGRA, Iowa Division of North Star, NSGRA@ NSGRA.org or 612-82-RODEO Primary Health Care Inc., David Yurdin, 2353 SE 14th St., Des Moines, 503020, Works with GLBT ages 16 to geriatric, 25 years of experience. 515-248-1427 Rainbow Union, Drake University ru@drake.edu PFLAG Des Moines 515-243-0313, 1300 Locust , Des Moines, IA 50312 Plymouth Congregational UCC Church and the Plymouth GLBT Community 4126 Ingersoll Ave. 515-255-3149 Services at 9am & I lam Sunday. PlymouthGLBT.com Polk County Health Department Free STD, HIV, and Hepatitis B & C testing.

HIV. Rapid testing also offered. 1907 Carpenter, Des Moines, IA, 515-286-3798.

Pride Alliance, AIB College of Business Gay and straight students celebrating diversity Contact: Mike Smith, Advisor, PrideAlliance@aib.edu aib.edu/pride Pride Bowling League for GLBT & Supporters Every Wednesday, 7 PM, Air Lanes Bowling Center 4200 Fleur Drive, Des Moines, IA 50321-2389. Email pridebowlingleague@ gmail.com or 515-447-2977.

TTDIRECTORY cont’d page 34

ACCESSline Page 34 SScontinued from page 33

DIRECTORY

Raccoon River Resort Accommodations for men, women, or mixed in campgrounds, lodge, Teepees or Treehouses.

Reservations: 515-996-2829 or 515-2797312 Ritual Café On 13th between Grand and Locust.

Gay owned great music, awesome food and coffee. 515-288-4872 ritualcafe@aol. com - ritualcafe.com

Section 3: Community Grinnell, Iowa Broadviewwildflowerseed.com, Broad View Wildflower Seed, 428 Hamilton Ave., Grinnell, Iowa 50112, Manager/Owner: John C., chicoski7@yahoo.com Saints Ephrem & Macrina Sunday services at 10am. (Affiliated with the Orthodox-Catholic Church of America.)

Divine Liturgy is served Sundays during the College academic year 1:30 p.m., Herrick Chapel, Grinnell College Campus, 1226 Broad Street, Grinnell, IA, 641-236-0936

Romantix North Des Moines Iowa (Bachelor’s Library) 2020 E Euclid Ave, Des Moines, IA 50317, romantixonline.com 515-266-7992

Stonewall Resource Center Open 4:30pm to 11:30pm, Sun through Thurs and by Appointment., Grinnell College, 1210 Park Street PO Box B-1, Grinnell, IA, 50112, srcenter@ grinnell.edu 641-269-3327

Spouses of Lesbians & Gays Support group for spouses of gays and lesbians. 515-277-7754

United Church of Christ-Congregational, ‘An open and affirming church.’ 902 Broad St, 641-236-3111

St. John’s Lutheran Church 600 6th Ave “A Church for All People.”

Services Sat 5pm, Sun 7:45, 8:45 & 11am.

See web page for other services.

515-243-7691 - StJohnsDSM.org TransformationsIOWA Monthly meetings for the female to male, male to female, transgender community, cross dressers, gender queer, questioning, and their significant others. For location and info, email at r.eliason@hotmail.com or call 515-979-6959 Trinity United Methodist Church 1548 Eighth Street - 515-288-4056 Services Sundays at 10am, trinityumcdm. org

INDIANOLA, iowa Crossroads United Church of Christ (UCC) An Open & affirming congregation. Services: Sunday 10:30am, Summer worship: June, July, Aug, @ 9:30 am, worshiping in the Lounge at Smith Chapel, Simpson College, corner of Buxton and Clinton. Mailing address: P.O. Box 811, Indianola, IA 50125 515-961-9370. crossroadsucc.org

Iowa City, iowa AA (GLBT) 319-338-9111 Meetings Sundays 5 - 6pm at First Baptist Church, 500 North Clinton Street. For more info, call IC Intergroup Answering Service,

Urbandale UCC An open & affirming congregation. 3530 70th St., Urbandale, IA 50322, 515-2760625, urbucc.org

Congregational Church UCC An Open and Affirming Congregation, Sunday Worship 10:15 a.m. 30 N. Clinton St. (across from Ul Pentacrest) - 319-3374301 - uiccic.org

Walnut Hills UMC Join us at 8:30 or 10:45am for Sunday worship. Sunday classes and group studies are at 9:30am. 515-270-9226, 12321 Hickman Rd, Urbandale, IA 50323, whumc. org

Counseling Clinic 319-354-6238 Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender sensitive and supportive counseling for individuals, couples, families and groups.

Sliding Fee. 505 E Washington St., Iowa City, IA 52240

Westminster Presbyterian Church 4114 Allison Ave - WestPres.org Sunday services 8:45 and 11am. Of note is their GAY-LESBIAN-STRAIGHT AFFIRMATION GROUP, GLSA 515-274-1534

Counseling and Health Center 319-3371679 Client-centered therapy. Les-Bi-Gay-Trans always welcome. 616 Bloomington St, Iowa City, IA

Women’s Culture Collective (WCC) A lesbian social group. Des Moines, IA iowawcc.org Word of God Ministries, Sunday service: 3:00pm, at 3120 E 24th Street, Des Moines, Iowa 50317, Gay, lesbian & straight affirmation 515-707-5947.

Zanzibar’s Coffee Adventure Open daily. Gay-friendly, 2723 Ingersoll, Des Moines, IA, 515-244-7694

Dubuque, Iowa Adult Warehouse 975 Jackson St., Dubuque, IA, 563-5889184.

Dubuque Friends Worship Group (Quakers) Join us at an unprogrammed worship service on Sunday at 10am. Welcoming and Affirming St. Mark’s Community Center, 1201 White Street, Dubuque, Iowa 52001, 563-5829388 PFLAG Dubuque/Tri-State Carnegie Stout Library, 3rd Floor Conference Room 360 W. 11th St. 3rd Tuesday, 7pm 563581-4606 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Dubuque 1699 Iowa St., Dubuque, IA “The uncommon denomination.” general services at 10am. uuf-dbq.org 563-583-9910

ELKADER, Iowa Bethany Church (ELCA) 307 3rd St NE, Elkader IA 52043, Pastor Jim Klosterboer 563-245-1856, alpinecom. net/~bethanychurch bethanychurch@alpinecom.net, Inclusive.

Welcoming. Discover the Difference.

Bethany is a Reconciling in Christ congregation of LC/NA Schera’s Restaurant and Bar 107 S Main St, Elkader, IA 52043, 563245-1992 Scheras.com, E-mail: info@ scheras.com Fine dining featuring Algerian & American Cuisine.

Fort Dodge, Iowa Romantix Fort Dodge (Mini Cinema) Sun-Thu 10am-12am, Fri & Sat 10am-2am 515-955-9756, 15 N. 5th St, Fort Dodge, IA 50501-3801 RomantixOnline.com

Crisis Center 319-351-0140 1121 Gilbert Court, Iowa City, 52240 Emma Goldman Clinic 227 N. Dubuque St, Iowa City, IA 52245 319-337-2111or 1-800-848-7684.

Faith United Church of Christ An open and affirming congregation.

1609 Deforest Street, Iowa City, 52240 Sunday Worship 9:30 AM 319-338-5238 bob.faithucc@g.com, faithucciowacity.org GLBTAU-U of lA Student support system and resource center, info, activism, events, and other community involvements.

203 IMU, University of IA, Iowa City, IA 52242-1317 glbtau@uiowa.edu 319-335-3251 (voice mail) Hope United Methodist Church Worship Service at 9:30am. 2929 E. Court St., Iowa City, IA - Contact Rev. Sherry Lohman. 319-338-9865 Human Rights Commission (City of Iowa City Human Rights Commission) 319-356-5022; 391-356-5015; 319-3565014 Fax 319-887-6213 - humanrights@iowacity.org ICARE (Iowa Center for AIDS Resources & Education) Practical & emotional support, youth programs, information, referrals and support groups.

3211 E 1st Iowa City, IA 52240-4703 319-338-2135 Iowa City Free Medical Clinic Free & strictly confidential HIV Testing.

2440 Towncrest Dr Iowa City, Call for appointment 319-337-4459 Iowa City NOW PO Box 2944, Iowa City, IA 52244 Iowa Women’s Music Festival P.O. Box 3411, Iowa City, IA 52244 - 319335-1486 Men Supporting Men 319-356-6038, Ext 2 HIV prevention program. Discussion Groups, Educational Series, Safer Sex Workshops, Book Club. Andy Weigel, email: aweigel@co.johnson.ia.us New Song Episcopal Church 912 20th Ave, Coralville, IA. Sunday services at 10am.

Rev. Elizabeth Coulter, Pastor. Rev. John Harper, Associate. 319-351-3577

Pride Committee WRAC, 130 N. Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 Bridget Malone - 319-338-0512. Charles Howes - 319-335-1486.

Romantix Iowa City (Pleasure Palace I) 315 Kirkwood Ave, Iowa City, IA 52240-4722 - romantixonline.com 319-351-9444 Studio 13 13 S. Linn St. (in the Alley) Iowa City, IA Open 7pm ‘til 2am, daily 319-338-7145 U of I Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Staff & Faculty Association, c/o WRAC, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242, 19-3351486 Unitarian Universalist Society of Iowa City Inclusive and free religious community nurturing intellectual and spiritual growth and fostering ethical and social responsibility. 10 S. Gilbert, Iowa City, IA Sunday services: 9:30am & 11:15am. uusic. org 319-337-3443 United Action for Youth (UAY) A GLBTQA youth group providing support and counseling for teenagers and young adults processing sexual identity issues.

Meets Mondays 7-9pm at UAY 410 Iowa Ave. Iowa City, IA. 319-338-7518 or Teen Line, 319-338-0559.

The Ursine Group Bear Events in the Midwest. PO Box 1143, Iowa City, IA 52244-1143 - 319-338-5810

MCC Omaha 819 South 22nd, Omaha, NE 68103, Sun 9 & 11 am. Wednesday “ReCharge” Worship, Wed 7pm - 402-345-2563 PFLAG Omaha Mead Hall, First United Methodist Church, 7020 Cass St. (Omaha), 2nd Thursday, 7, 6:30 Social, 402-291-6781 River City Gender Alliance Peer support, friendship, and understanding for crossdressers, transgenderists, and transsexuals. PO Box 4083 Omaha, NE 68104, 402-291-6781, info@rcga.us - rcga.us

Tri-ess Chapter, Kappa Phi Lambda Chapter, Omaha, NE 68107, Transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. tri-ess.org, 402-9609696, Judy marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Youth Support Group for GLBT Youth 13-21, meets twice monthly. Omaha, NE - 402-291- 6781

Pella, iowa Common Ground (Central College) Support group for GLBT students and allies. Contact: Brandyn Woodard, Director of Intercultural Life woodardb@central.edu 641-628-5134

Quad Cities, iowa AIDS Project Quad Cities Info, education & support. Davenport, IA 52804, www.apqc4life.org 319-762-LIFE

Women’s Resource Action Center (WRAC) Leads & collaborates on projects that serve U of l and the greater community, offers social & support services, including LGBT Coming Out Group.

University of Iowa, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 319-335-1486

Black Hawk College Unity Alliance Serving GLBT community at Black Hawk College.

6600 34th Ave, Rock Island, IL 309-7160542.

Adult Odyssey (Adult Video Store) 907 Iowa Ave E - 641-752-6550 Domestic Violence Alternatives/ Sexual Assault Center, Inc., 132 W Main St. 24 hour Crisis Line: 641-753-3513 or (instate only) 800-779-3512

MASON CITY, iowa Cerro Gordo County Dept. of Public Health 22 N. Georgia Ave, Ste 300 Mason City, IA 50401. Free confidential AIDS testing.

641-421-9321 PFLAG North Iowa Chapter 641-583-2848, pflagmcni@yahoo.com, Carlos O’Kelly’s Mexican Cafe @ 7 p.m. Wed.

Mount Vernon, Iowa Alliance Cornell College 810 Commons Cir # 2035 - alliance@ cornellcollege.edu - orgs.cornellcollege. edu/alliance/

Omaha, Nebraska AIDS Interfaith Network 100 N. 62nd, Omaha, NE Call Br. Wm. Woeger, 402-558-3100 Citizens For Equal Protection 1105 Howard St, Suite #2, Omaha, NE 68102. cfep-ne.org - info@cfep-ne.org-402398-3027 DC’s Saloon The Midwest’s hottest GLBT Country & Dance Bar! 610 S. 14th St., Omaha, NE, Open everyday 2pm-1am, western/levi/ leather 402-344-3103 Front Runners/Front Walkers Walking/jogging club. P.O. Box 4583, Omaha, NE 68104, 402-804-8720, frontrunners.org GLBT Rainbow Outreach Omaha Serving GLBT community in eastern Nebraska and western Iowa. Also office for Imperial court of Nebraska. 1719 Leavenworth St, Omaha, NE, rocc.org 402-341-0330 Heartland Gay Rodeo Association (HGRA) (Midwest Division of the International Gay Rodeo Association) PO Box 3354, Omaha, NE 68103, hgra.net - 402-203-4680, Serves Iowa and Nebraska Imperial Court of Nebraska P.O. Box 3772, Omaha, NE 68103, 402556-9907 Inclusive Life “Religious and Non religious care, services and ceremonies for all!”, 105 S. 49 Street, Suite E, Omaha, NE 68132, (402) 5757006, inclusifelife.org The Max 1417 Jackson at 15th, Omaha, NE 68102 6 bars in 1 - 402-346-4110

Red Oak, Iowa First Congregational United Church of Christ 608 E Reed St, Red Oak, IA 51566 (712) 623-2794 Rev. Elizabeth Dilley, Pastor uccwebsites.net/firstcongredoakia.html firstconguccredoak@yahoo.com Open and affirming.

River City Mixed Chorus Gay/lesbian chorus, PO Box 3267, Omaha, NE 68103, Call Stan Brown, 402-341-7464

Vortex Gifts 211 E. Washington, Iowa City. 319-3373434

Marshalltown, iowa

MAY 2012

Connections Nightclub 563-322-1121 822 W 2nd St, Davenport, IA 52802 DeLaCerda House 309-786-7386 Provides housing & supportive services, advocacy and referrals for people living with HIV/AIDS. P.O. Box 4551, Rock Island, Il. 61201 Good Samaritan Free Clinic 602 35th Avenue Moline, IL 309-7974688 gsfc@mchsi.com - Provides free primary medical care to patients age 16-64 who are working but have no medical insurance. GoodSamaritanFreeClinic.org The Hole-In-The-Wall 309-289-2375 A Private Membership Men’s Club, Located 3 miles east of Galesburg, IL. just north of I-74 at Exit 51 HoleInTheWallMensClub.org Holy Spirit Catholic Faith Community Meets one Sunday per month for Mass at 6:30pm at MCC-QC, 3019 N. Harrison St, Davenport, IA Mailing: PO Box 192 East Moline, IL 61244 For more info, call 309-278-3359 Lucky Shamrock 313 20th St, Rock Island (IL) - 309-7887426 An Irish Pub open to all types.

SHENANDOAH, Iowa PFLAG Shenandoah 1002 South Elm Street - 712-246-2824

Sioux City Am. Business & Professional Guild.

Gay Businessmen. Meets last Sat. of the month; ABPG, P. O. BOX 72, Sioux City, 51102 abpguild@yahoo.com Grace United Methodist Church 1735 Morningside Avenue - 712-276-3452.

Jones Street Station (Bar) 712-258-6922 412 Jones St., Nightly 6:00pm to 2:00am.

Mayflower Congregational Church.

1407 West 18th Street. Call 712-258-8278.

Morningside College Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Alliance 712-2745208 Contact Professor Gail Dooley, Advisor Morningside College GSA. 1501 Morningside Ave. Sioux City, IA 51106-1717 - dooley@ morningside.edu PFLAG Siouxland PO Box 1311, Sioux City, IA 51102 - siouxlandPFLAG@aol.com Romantix Sioux City 712-277-8566 (Adult Emporium) 511 Pearl St, Sioux City, IA 51101-1217 St. Thomas Episcopal Church Service Sun 10:30am, 406 12th St, Waverly, IA Rev Mary Christopher

712-258-0141

Western Iowa Tech. GSA widemal@juno.com for info.

Mary’s On 2nd 563-884-8014 832 W. 2nd St. Davenport, IA

Zaner’s Bar - 712-277-9575 -3103 N Hwy

MCC Quad Cities - Svcs Sun 11am, Bible study Wed 7pm 563-324-8281, 3019 N Harrison, Davenport, IA 52803

shows & events; hometown bar for Imperial

Men’s Coming Out/Being Out Group Meets 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 7pm.

QCAD.OutForGood@GMail.com 309786-2580 PFLAG Quad Cities 563-285-4173 Eldridge United Methodist Church 604 S.2nd St., Eldridge 1st Monday, 6:30 pm Prism (Augustana College) 309-794-7406 Augustana Gay-Straight Alliance, Augustana Library 639 38th St, Rock Island, IL, Contact Tom Bengston Quad Citians Affirming Diversity (QCAD) Social & support groups for lesbian, bi, and gay teens, adults, friends & families; newsletter. 309-786-2580 - Community Center located at 1608 2nd Ave, Rock Island.

Quad Cities Pride Chorus At the MCC Church in D’port, 7pm Wed. qcswede64@aol.com Call Don at 563324-0215

75, Sioux City, IA 51105. Monthly drag Court of Iowa’s Western Chapter zaners-sioux-city@hotmail.com

Sioux falls, south dakota Toppers, 1213 N Cliff Ave, Sioux Falls, SD 57103, (605) 339-7686, Su-Tu 7:00pm Close : We-Sa 3:00pm - 2:00am, sdtoppers. com Center for Equality, 406 S Second Avenue in Sioux Falls, 605-331-1153, centersforequalitysd.org

Waverly, Iowa Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry.

717 W. Bremer, (St. Andrew’s Episcopal) Waverly, IA episcoplcampus.org - 319-415-5747

Rainbow Gifts www.rainbowgifts.net - 309-764-0559

Gay, Lesbian Bisexual Student Alliance

T.R. Video Adult books & video, 3727 Hickory Grove Rd, Davenport, IA. 563-386-7914

Contact Susan Vallem - 319-352-8250

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Quad Cities, Rev Jay Wolin, Sunday Service 11am 3707 Eastern Avenue, Davenport, IA 52807 563-359-0816 Venus News (Adult) 902 W 3rd St, Davenport, IA. 563-322-7576

Wartburg College, Waverly, IA 50677.

St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church 717 W. Bremer. We welcome all to worship with us on Sunday at 10:30am. Bible discussion Wed. 6:45pm Rev. Maureen Doherty, Pastor 319-3521489

MAY 2012 SScontinued from page 16

WIRED THIS WAY They should never agree to meet with someone they don’t know in real life, and they should always confirm plans with real life friends through more than one media. (for example if a facebook friend suddenly wants to meet at a strange place, like a park, call the friend first.)

Also teach and model appropriate online behavior. What does cyberbullying, online predators and illegal download sites have in common? People believe the Internet is a consequence free environment. It’s not. We just don’t see the consequences because they are physically removed from us. Our kids learn by example. If we are prone to writing long winded profanity strewn rants online our kids may be getting the message that cyberbullying is okay.

When your child comes to you and says someone is harassing them online it’s more imperative than ever to take the moral high road. There are not just moral but legal implications if you fight fire with fire. Instead talk your child through the above steps for thinking, responding and documenting what is going on. If you feel a believable threat has been made, or the incident crosses the line, go to the police.

In other situations talk the child through the above steps, or help them with them.

Go to the school with screenshots and other evidence and recruit their help if necessary.

What can schools do about cyberbullying?

I keep mentioning the school system,

Section 3: Community but what can schools really do? Quite a bit, actually but they must lay the necessary groundwork before cyberbullying becomes a problem. Most schools have some sort of program/policy about citizenship and appropriate interpersonal behavior. (The Des Moines Public School has the “pillars of respect” program for example.) These programs talk about things like treating others with respect, being polite, respecting each other’s differences and diversity. All schools have some sort of conduct guide, a set of policies about what sort of behavior they expect from kids at their school.

These programs must include language that clearly states what sort of behavior is expected while online. The schools need to teach and model positive online behavior, as much as classroom behavior. Having clear policies forbidding bullying and harassment, online and off line, sends a clear message to kids that this sort of behavior is not okay.

It also tells the victim that adults in the school system are on their side. However there is another important legal reason for having this sort of language in the school’s conduct guide.

Cyberbullying often happens away from the school grounds and outside of normal school hours. As a result schools are left in a bind. When they try to intervene with a cyberbully they may be told they are overstepping their legal authority. The rules on cyberbullying and the

punishment must be written into the code of conduct in such a way that it is a contractual, not a legal issue. For example the school cannot ground a child at home for comments they made on Facebook over the weekend. But a child can be denied the privilege of playing on a sport’s team because they failed to live up to the “code of conduct” by showing a lack of respect to a fellow student.

What can you do about cyberbullying?

If you are not a child, parent or teacher, is there anything you can do about cyberbullying? Probably the best thing you can do is to monitor your own behavior. Remember the Internet is not a consequence free environment. The words you use on Facebook and elsewhere can hurt. Even if you are not a parent yourself, kids may see your online rants. If kids stop seeing a constant barrage of rude and angry comments online, they’ll get the idea that this isn’t acceptable behavior.

Remember the Internet is not a consequence free environment. The words you use on Facebook and elsewhere can hurt.

ACCESSline Page 35 Help out the ISP by appropriately flagging comments that are hurtful or hateful. If you know a young person who is being harassed, offer support. Bullied kids may see comments and assume that everyone shares that view. Let them know otherwise.

You can support groups like, Stop Teen Bullying on Facebook or Iowa Safe Schools. They do a lot of work online and off. Help them out with a cash donation.

Make an ‘it gets better’ video. Many of in LGBT community have our own stories of bullying and harassment. Sharing these stories can help youth see that they can make it, they can overcome this.

Bullying, online or off, is not a fact of life. It’s not inevitable. It’s a cultural problem and a big one. But we are all part of this culture and we can all work to change it. Once upon a time we let the bullies harass us and our friends. We felt we were too weak, too alone to challenge them. Now we are a strong community. It’s time we stood up to them, for our own sake and for the sake of the next generation.

Add your voice to the many others who are saying, hatred is not acceptable.

“I haven’t seen the bill. I haven’t thought much about it. No one should face discrimination in the workforce. There are ample laws already in place to deal with this. Having been the chairman of the Education & Workforce Committee, I’m quite familiar with employment law. But if there are further changes that are necessary, I’m sure the committee will look at it.”

- Speaker of the House John Boehner responding to a question from the Washington Blade on whether or not he had any plans to advance ENDA.