Helping seniors age in place, with help from family BY SUE WEBBER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER Aging in place is the new mantra for many senior citizens. They want to be able to stay in their homes as long as possible. But another option is sometimes possible, or even desirable. Sixteen years ago, Willard Eggan, then a 77-year-old builder who had constructed many homes in Eden Prairie, was living in a large home with his wife, Beulah. They decided to downsize to a double bungalow, but even that seemed to be too much for them. At about the same time, their son Terry Eggan and his wife, Nancy Vest, were about to build their dream home in Eden Prairie. Terry, a Realtor, came up with the idea of the two couples sharing the new home. So Terry and Nancy built a separate wing at their new home for Terry’s parents, complete with laundry, kitchen and their own private entrance. “My in-laws were quite independent then, and it worked beautifully,” Nancy said. “They were still driving, and they had an active social life. There were times when I would walk in the door after work and my mother-in-law would have a roast beef dinner waiting for us.” The secret to the living arrangement “working beautifully,” Nancy said, was maintaining personal spaces and boundaries. “We could have dinner together and hang out together, but then I could go to my own space,” she said. As it turned out, the first eight years were easy. But then, Nancy said, “We had to step up and be caregivers.” Trained as a social worker with a background in home health care, Nancy said, “Usually one child in the family comes forward to do that. The care can be quite complicated. It gets very intimate. You have to be able to switch roles [and ‘parent’ your parents], and it’s hard.” Her husband really stepped up to the plate as “someone you would want as your advocate,” Nancy said. “He is a busy Realtor, but he has been so focused on making sure his parents are comfortable and well cared for,” she said. “He keeps track of their blood pressures, their weights, their medications and what they’re eating.” Her mother-in-law died at the age of 92 in the spring of 2013, after several years in hospice care.
Enjoying a meal at the home they shared in Eden Prairie are, from left, Terry Eggan, Willard Eggan, Terry Vest and Beulah Eggan. (Submitted photo) “Willard and Beulah were blessed,” Nancy said. “They were married for 72 years and had a lovely, long life.” Her father-in-law, now 93, is in hospice care, too. But he’s still at the Eggans’ home, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. “That is his wish, and it’s our wish, too,” Nancy said. “We were serious about this; it’s been a labor of love for us,” said Nancy, who first met the Eggans when she was 13-years-old. “They were good to me when I was a kid,” she said. “It’s a privilege to take care of someone you love. We wanted to give them as much dignity as possible.” The family has used a variety of home care services to assist Willard and Beulah in the last eight years. Now, one of Willard’s granddaughters has volunteered
to move into his living quarters at the Eggan’s home to care for him, Nancy said. As the numbers of senior citizens increase, the number of older adults who need to adapt their living arrangements or receive help also increases. In Bloomington, for example, 15,218 residents are over the age of 65, according to the 2010 census. That amounts to 18.36 percent of the city’s total population. The median year for home construction in Bloomington is 1969, meaning that many older owners of 40-plus year-old homes may need repairs or help with maintenance. For senior citizens who may be disabled and/or living on a fixed income, such work is daunting and may require a little help. PLACE - TO PAGE 3