Post ourlife 2 16 17

Thursday, Feb. 16, 2017

Brooklyn Center Sun Post

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Discovering The Mature Lifestyle “Foster Grandmas� at MN schools page 8

Across Generations

February 16, 2017

February Issue

Calvary has been family’s church base for 70 years

BY SUE WEBBER CONTRIBUTING WRITER Members of Jerry Johnson’s famil y w ere also charter members of Calvary Luther an Chur ch in Golden Valley when it was established in 1946.

Johnson, no w 82, w as in Calv ary’s first Sunday school, and still is active at

the church as a musician.

He still lives on the property where he was raised, a spot in Plymouth. He’s established a m ulti-generational family on that spot, and they, too, are Calvary members. “My gr andpa bought the house in 1940, and m y uncle J erry and m y dad grew up in tha t house ,�

said Tim J ohnson, w ho grew up in Golden V alley. Tim w as ba ptized a t Calvary and has been a life-long member of the church as well.

After Jerry was widowed and began to lose his sight and the a bility to k eep up the home, he in vited Tim, his wife K arin, and their daughter, Isa bel, no w 13,

to live with him.

Tim is a ma th specialist at West Junior High, in Hopkins. K arin is a biology teacher a t Hopkins High School. “Jerry offered us a pr oposal in 2002: w e could build a ne w house ther e, with an apartment for him in the lo wer le vel,� Tim said. “It’s been such a per-

fect arrangement from the start, having Jerry with us.

We see him e very day. We now have a built-in grandpa f or Isa bel. She visits Jerry often and they’ ve made cookies to gether.

It’s been gr eat for us, too, since both my parents died early. We make sure we do meals together often.�

Tim r ecalls J erry com-

ing to all the famil y gatherings f or y ears. “He w as an inspiration to our family,� Tim said. “We started playing m usic to gether in 1992 and ha ve spent a lot of time together.�

CAVALRY - TO NEXT PAGE

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Adventures for a Lifetime

Three generations sat down to have ice cream after playing mini-golf. From left are Tim, Jerry, Isabel and Karin Johnson. (Submitted photo)

8

Brooklyn Center Sun Post

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Post.mnsun.com

Thursday, Feb. 16, 2017

Across Generations February 2017 Issue

Discovering The Mature Lifestyle

February 16 & 17, 2017

Musical family thinks of town church as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;second homeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; CAVALRY - FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

Jerry and Tim- along with Timâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brother, Bob- ar e still making m usic together at Calvary, as the Blessings Gospel T rio.

The trio has recorded some CDs, too. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Calvary is kind of our second home,â&#x20AC;?

Tim said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jerry and I sang at the church on Christmas Da y. J erry still pla ys his guitar. I play guitar and do a lot of singing at the Expressions service.â&#x20AC;?

Karin Johnson, Timâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife, grew up in Coon R apids and joined Calv ary after college. â&#x20AC;&#x153;She pla yed French horn in the Calvary Br ass, and w e met ther e,â&#x20AC;? Tim said.

Daughter Isa bel is m usical, too , of course. She pla ys the cello and piano . â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s great,â&#x20AC;? Tim said.

Jerry, w ho didn â&#x20AC;&#x2122;t marry until he w as 50, had a short 11-y ear marriage before

his wife died in 1994. â&#x20AC;&#x153;J erry la ter li ved with us tempor arily in St. Louis P ark,â&#x20AC;?

Tim said.

Tim said he w ould r ecommend the multi-generational li ving arr angement for an yone, though he r ealizes tha t it might not w ork so w ell f or e veryone. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jerry is about as easygoing a guy as you could imagine,â&#x20AC;? Tim said. The li ving arrangement w as J erryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s idea, Tim said, adding, â&#x20AC;&#x153;W e didn â&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hesita te. W e kne w him w ell. It w as an opportunity f or us to build a new house on a pr operty near Medicine Lake.â&#x20AC;?

Jerry a grees tha t the thr ee-generation living arrangement â&#x20AC;&#x153;works out very nicely.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;My dad bought the property in 1940, when I was 6 years old,â&#x20AC;? Jerry said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Members of the Blessings Gospel Trio, pictured after a Christmas concert, are, from left: always been my home address.â&#x20AC;? His family included tw o older br others and a Jerry, Bob and Tim Johnson. younger sister.

He originall y w as an English and social studies teacher bef ore lea ving the education field â&#x20AC;&#x153;to do other things.â&#x20AC;? The variety of other jobs heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s held include a stint as a custodian a t Calvary, in ad dition to his music.

Much of his m usical ability w as selftaught, J erry said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It came fr om m y motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s side , and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s been carried on through the generations,â&#x20AC;? he said, adding that he intends to contin ue his singing and guitar-playing â&#x20AC;&#x153;as long as the Lor d is willing me to do it.â&#x20AC;?

Though he doesn â&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see w ell, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still writing songs , he said, and doing ar rangements f or old gospel songs . â&#x20AC;&#x153;It keeps me going,â&#x20AC;? Jerry said.

Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s delighted tha t Isa bel, his gr eatniece, is playing cello and piano. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no question that sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got m usic in her,â&#x20AC;?

Jerry said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is a musical household.â&#x20AC;?

Eagan, Lakeville, Farmington women are foster grandparents

BY SUE WEBBER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

pecially on holida ys, Monahan brings cookies or fudge with her to her volunteer post.

Monahan, w ho has five children, 12 gr andchildren and six great-grandchildren of her own, said sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always enjoyed volunteering. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I like people, and I like volunteering. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good f or me,â&#x20AC;? said Monahan, w ho pr eviously served at the Dorothy Day Center in St. Paul.

As f or the y oung people she meets each w eek, she said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I enjoy them. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re pretty sweet kids. Things just didn â&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go w ell for them.â&#x20AC;?

A native of north Minnea polis, Monahan has lived in Eagan since 1957.

Grandparents don â&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ha ve to be blood relatives to have an impact on the younger generation.

The Foster Grandparents program, sponsor ed b y Luther an Social Service of Minnesota, bears tha t out. The pr ogram began in 1965, as part of President L yndon J ohnsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;W ar on Poverty.â&#x20AC;? Now, an estima ted 900 F oster Gr andparents serv e throughout Minnesota.

According to R on Urbanski, assistant dir ector of Senior Corps and Neighbor to Neighbor programs for LSS, the local foster grandparents range in age from 64 to 86. They serve as role models mentors and friends to Farmington the young people they see on a Elementary School regular basis . Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s a chance f or Deb Knutson and Mary Hanthe young people to build a rela- sen each work with a dozen sectionship with another adult. ond- and f ourth-graders from 9 a.m. to noon five days a week at Farmington Elementary School.

Knutsen, no w in her fifth year at the school, said she got acquainted with F armington Elementary w hen her gr andchildren were students there. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I r eally belie ve v olunteering is important, â&#x20AC;? said Kn utson. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun. Some kids don â&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lik e reading at all. I r eally feel good when I see kids impr oving in reading.â&#x20AC;?

Before she began her w ork Mary Monahan has served at the Da- as a school v olunteer, Kn utsen kota County Juvenile Services Center worked as a R amsey County probation officer for 35 years. A in Hastings for the last 16 years. native of St. P aul, Knutsen has Dakota County lived in Farmington for 45 years.

Juvenile Service She has a daughter and thr ee grandchildren.

Center, Hastings Mary Hansen, also of FarmFor the last 16 y ears, Mary oster Monahan, a r esident of Ea- ington, has been a F Grandparent a t F armington gan, has serv ed a t the Dak ota County Juvenile Service Center Elementary for mor e than f our in Hastings. Three days a w eek, years. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the school our five chilfor three to four hours a day, she dren w ent to ,â&#x20AC;? said Hansen, works with 13- to 18-y ear-olds who has lived in Farmington all who are incarcerated there. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They all call me gr andma,â&#x20AC;? her life and also has one gr andshe said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I don â&#x20AC;&#x2122;t try to teach. child. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The teachers gi ve us lots of support. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; re glad w eâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not a disciplinarian. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just there. I sit with them during there.â&#x20AC;?

When she first heard about the class and a t lunch. Sometimes they w ant to talk. Mostl y, they need f or F oster Gr andparents, need someone to listen to them.â&#x20AC;? Hansen said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;It sounded lik e If someone looks sad, Mona- something I could do . Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not han might ask if they w ant to new to v olunteering. It k eeps talk. Gener ally, the con versa- you young, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m really happy tions are about pets, siblings or to do it.â&#x20AC;?

Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s f ound tha t F armingschool, she said. Sometimes , es-

ton Elementary â&#x20AC;&#x153;r eally is a nice place to w ork. Sometimes I get hugs from the kids when I come into the room, or when they see me in the hall, and sometimes even w hen they run into me a t the grocery store.â&#x20AC;?

LaVonne Bertucci, a Title 1 reading specialist a t F armington Elementary, coordinates the program and also is an internal coach f or the schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Minnesota Reading Corps tutors. Bertucci said this is the fifth year Foster Gr andparents have been working with students a t the school. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Foster Gr andparents contacted us in the spring of 2012,â&#x20AC;? Bertucci said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Their program coor dinator met with our principal and me to see if w e w ould be inter ested in partnering with them and piloting their pr ogram, and the rest is history . De b and Mary have been with us e ver since . â&#x20AC;&#x153;Deb and Mary truly make a difference in the li ves of their students. They help their students , not only with their r eading, but with their o verall confidence.

They get to kno w each student well. They esta blish gr eat r elationships. Their students can tell how much they care.â&#x20AC;?

Farmington Elementary School Principal Kim Bollesen said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We truly love having our Foster Gr andparents in our building. They ar e such an asset and so good with the kids .

LaVonne does a w onderful job with scheduling and helping them with anything they need.â&#x20AC;?

Akin Road Elementary School, Farmington

Deb Knutsen has volunteered weekly for the last ďŹ ve years. ton for four years. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I help them with r eading,â&#x20AC;?

Bromley said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The teacher chooses who I r ead with. Some children are pretty shy; some are friendlier than others.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m r eally glad I got into Foster Grandparents,â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s r eally been good f or me. I intend to keep up with it.â&#x20AC;?

A na tive of F armington, Bromley has li ved in Lak eville for five years. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is the second y ear w e have participa ted in the F oster Grandparent program,â&#x20AC;? Principal Lisa Reichelt said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have been v ery ha ppy with both the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;grandparentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; we have had. Just yesterday, a first-grade teacher shared the success sho wn in reading gains f or some of the students that have been r eading with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Grandma Pat.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Our teachers all vie f or time with Gr andma Pat.â&#x20AC;?

About Foster Grandparents

Foster Grandparents must be Pat Bromley of Lakeville has been v olunteering f our hours a 55 years of age, and m ust comday, f our da ys a w eek a t Akin mit to v olunteering f or 10 or Road Elementary in F arming- more hours a w eek, Urbanski said.

A pre-service orientation and training is r equired, and v olunteers also ar e r equired to par ticipate in ongoing f ormal and independent training, he said.

Volunteers and their service sites are matched by location in a variety of ways. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sometimes a school district hears a bout Foster Gr andparents w orking in another district, or a principal Mary Hansen is a Foster Grandparmoves to a different school from ent at the same school her own a district w here they had the children attended. program and calls us ,â&#x20AC;? Urban-

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ski said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sometimes v olunteers hear about us and w e approach the school.â&#x20AC;?

The school sets the schedule for each volunteer.

Staff members fr om the Senior Corps office meet with each volunteer every month at the site they are serving. Volunteers also are evaluated once a year.

A staf f of 15 mana ges the 900 volunteers serving thr oughout Minnesota, Urbanski said.

About 20 per cent of the F oster Grandparents are men.

Minnesota is one of two states

Pat Bromley of Lakeville monitors a fourth-graderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reading progress. that receives additional support for its Foster Grandparents program. The Minnesota Legislature has f or 30 y ears supported the pr ogram thr ough the Minnesota Board on Aging, Urbanski said.

Many of the senior volunteers have been with the pr ogram for two decades or mor e, according to Urbanski. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Grandma Gail just retired in Red Wing at the age of 93, after 33 y ears with the pr ogram,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Talk a bout a second career!â&#x20AC;?

Thursday, Feb. 16, 2017

Brooklyn Center Sun Post

â&#x20AC;˘

Post.mnsun.com

9

Across Generations February 2017 Issue

Discovering The Mature Lifestyle

February 16 & 17, 2017

Current housing trends segregate the generations with mixed results Not so long a go or far a way, families were a lot more extended.

Multiple generations lived together. Gr andma and gr andpa were part of the household.

Often a fe w great grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins w ere also an integral part of the family. All ages accepted each other and mixed and mingled as part of everyday life.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s different now â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and getting â&#x20AC;&#x153;dif ferenterâ&#x20AC;? all the time .

Dramatic changes in longe vity, life styles , famil y mak e-up and economics have led to an e xplosion of housing optionsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; especially for senior citizens.

Today, man y seniors choose to â&#x20AC;&#x153;age in placeâ&#x20AC;? in the old family home with incr easing help and support fr om technolo gy and outside car e-giving service providers.

But they can also retire to gated communities. Or live in a v ariety of independent or assisted living apartments, condos or coops. I even know one senior who live on an actual â&#x20AC;&#x153;Funny Farm.â&#x20AC;?

Guest column

... by Bob Ramsey Increased choices and gr eater independence for older adults is good. But segr egating gener ations and building walls between age groups is not.

More and mor e, w e ar e becoming a society separ ated b y age. Some call it â&#x20AC;&#x153; Aging Apartheid.â&#x20AC;?

This housing tr end supports vital a ging and a mor e acti ve lifestyle f or older adults , b ut it also separates seniors from children and y outh. Unless older folks ha ve gr andchildren, they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;kidsâ&#x20AC;? are really like. And younger people don â&#x20AC;&#x2122;t kno w or understand old people . Segr egation feeds stereotypes and myths about all ages.

Without r egular, real-world contact, seniors begin to accept the widespr ead negative ster eotype of teens and y ounger people as rude , crude, loud, entitled, shallow, even dangerous. Building w alls betw een the generations robs older adults of access to the joy, wonder, ener gy, optimism, passion and idealism of youth, Likewise, without firsthand knowledge, y oung people ar e uncomfortable ar ound seniors and internaliz e the common perception that age is all a bout loss, decline , and dependence .

They begin to equa te a ge with disease and dea th; and accept the false notion that older adults cannot be pr oductive, cr eative, engaged or ha ppy and fun lo ving. Lik e the small bo y w ho spotted my wife and me a t a local Dairy Queen and y elled a t his dad, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s some really old people over there. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know old people a te tr eats!â&#x20AC;? (Y ikes!

More and more, we are becoming a society separated by age. Some call it â&#x20AC;&#x153;Aging Apartheid.â&#x20AC;?

We were busted.)

British author Geor ge Orwell observed, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The child thinks growing old is an almost obscene calamity. . . all w ho have passed the age of thirty are joyless grotesques, endlessly fussing with things of no importance without having anything to li ve for.â&#x20AC;? This doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sound like the seniors I know.

Without frequent and natural connections with older adults , youth ne ver benefit fr om the gifts of experience, wisdom, discernment and perspecti ve tha t come onl y with a ge. Lik ewise, they ar e denied access to man y potential her oes, mentors and role models.

Current trends in senior housing appear settled in for a while.

Yet the r esults ar e mix ed. According to P am Hoyle, chair of the V ital Aging Netw ork, the challenge f or a ge-segregated communities is to figure out: â&#x20AC;&#x153;How do w e educa te society

to not onl y the jo y of gr owing older, b ut also the tr emendous value of older adults in our community and in our nation?â&#x20AC;?

Community leaders need to create natural opportunities f or regular contact and inter action among age groups. Life is better when all a ges can talk to each other, w ork to gether, pla y together, help each other and team up to help others . Tha tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s w hat makes a true comm unity; not just a bunch of people of different ages living segregated lives in the same town.

I want a community where itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s natural and normal to see strollers and walkers parked together.

What do you want?

Bob R amsey is a lif elong educator, writer and adv ocate for vital aging. He can be contacted at 952-922-9558 or by email at joyrammini@comcast.net.

Grandparents of a 4-year-old boy learn about parenting all over again

BY SUE WEBBER CONTRIBUTING WRITER Cindy and Steve McKay ar e learning ho w to parent f or the second time. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I thought I w as done with this ,â&#x20AC;? said Cind y, who is the transportation coordinator for the Fridley School District. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s keeping us young.â&#x20AC;?

Parents of tw o gr own daughters, the McKays ha ve adopted their 4-year-old gr andson, Brayden. They had cared for him of f and on since 2013; the adoption w as final in September 2016. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We lo ve Br ayden to the moon and back, â&#x20AC;?

Cindy said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a whole new experience to have a boy.â&#x20AC;?

Though the McK ays live on a 2½ acr e pr operty in R amsey, their grandson is enr olled in the Tiger Club Da ycare in F ridley, a ttends the new v oluntary pr e-kindergarten pr ogram a t Stevenson Elementary and will be a student a t Hayes Elementary ne xt year. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done w onders getting him r eady for school,â&#x20AC;? Cindy said.

Their gr andson came to li ve with the McK-

ays w hen he w as 2. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It took a lot of prayers and thought,â&#x20AC;? Cind y said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We pr ayed to God w e made the right decision.

We couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t not do it. It was tough in the beginning, but he has adjusted very well.â&#x20AC;?

The bo yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother is still in volved in his life and sees him weekly.

The McK ays w ere r equired to go thr ough foster grandparent training. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We had to become foster par ents and go through the court system,â&#x20AC;? Cind y said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I learned a lot. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m mor e appreciative f or f oster parents now.â&#x20AC;?

The couple also had to go thr ough six hours of car-seat training.

They ha ve disco vered that it definitely takes teamwork to r aise a grandchild. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But y ou each need time a way and time alone, too ,â&#x20AC;? Cind y said.

She and Ste ve, w ho works as a w arehouse supervisor, are careful to ensure that each of them has time to pursue other activities. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Steve golfs , and I have taught r eligion to second-gr aders f or years,â&#x20AC;? Cindy said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I get so m uch mor e out of it

than I give.â&#x20AC;?

Although par enting their gr andson has been an adjustment f or all of them, Cindy said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re

very active, nor mal little boy tha t w e lo ve, and now Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan is f or us to raise him.â&#x20AC;? The famil y ar e V i-

working in the F ridley School District f or f our years.

According to AARPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s online w ebsite, the 2010

Cindy, Brayden and Steve McKay share an interest in football. (Submitted photo) not the onl y gr andparents who are raising children. Most par ents our age were so y oung when they had their ba bies.

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re finding tha t y ou can always do better the second time.â&#x20AC;?

Brayden loves to color, and write his letters and numbers, she said. P aw Patrol is his favorite television show, Cindy said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When we are outside, he just lik es to run and play,â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He is a

king fans , and w ent to the open house a t the US Bank, accor ding to Cindy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We watch NASCAR, b ut mostl y enjo y our home with 2½ acr es and many garden spaces and projects,â&#x20AC;? she said.

Steve is a na tive of Boise, Idaho. Cindy, who grew up in Osseo , has been in volved with b ussing for 40 years. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I started out driving a bus and went through the ranks,â&#x20AC;? she said. She has been

Q>Â&#x2014;!Q>2!

U.S. Census showed that 70,524 Minnesota children under a ge 18 (5.5 percent of the childr en in the state) live in homes where the householders ar e gr andparents or other r elatives. Of tha t number, 50,654 li ve with grandparents w ho ar e the householders. A total of 20,281 children live in homes with gr andparent householders w here grandparents are responsible f or them; 6,775 of

those childr en ha ve no parents pr esent in the home.

In the T win Cities , 2,236 gr andparents in Minneapolis and 1,229 grandparents in St. Paul ar e r esponsible f or grandchildren w ho ar e living with them.

According to the AARP w ebsite, the AARP Gr andCare Support Locator is a free online service where grandparents can find support, resources and assistance (www.giclocalsupport. org).

Nationwide, mor e than 2.5 million childr en are cared for by extended family or close famil y friends because the biological par ents ar e unable to do so. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Legal custod y of the child may or may not be involved, and the child may be related by blood, marriage, or adoption, â&#x20AC;? the AARP w ebsite said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This arr angement is also known as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;kin car eâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; or â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;relative care.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;?

The Gr andfamilies State Law and Policy Resource Center pr ovides an up-to-date online listing of state laws, policies and legisla tion tha t affect grandfamilies (www. grandfamilies.org).

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