Postourlife 1 15 15

Discovering The Mature Lifestyle

A long and eventuallyy successful search forr birth parents ...

Page 3

Health & Wellness

January 15, 2015

January Issue

Page-Turning Passion Volunteers, children both profit from one-on-one program in Crystal

BY SUE WEBBER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

It

started simply: a volunteer partnership between a Crystal church and an elementary school across the street that would offer children help with their reading. But it’s had staying power. Af-

ter 19 years, the partnership still is going strong.

The idea was for volunteers at St. James Lutheran Church, 6700 46th Place, to work one-on-one to help children from Forest Elementary School, 6800 47th Ave. N., with reading, in a program called the Power of One.

“Forest has such a rich history of partnering with the community,” said Forest Principal Melissa Jackson.

Jackson, who was with the Minneapolis School District for 20 years before coming to Forest last year, said the Forest-St. James connection is unique because it’s endured for so long.

In a recent newsletter to parents, Jackson said, “One of the most inspiring examples of partnership is with our neighbor, St. James Lutheran Church, which has contributed so much to our students and staff since the beginning of our wonderful relationship.”

VOLUNTEERS - TO PAGE 7

Power of One volunteers from St. James Lutheran Church in Crystal who help youngsters with their reading at Forest School are, from left: Barbara Parsons, Nancy Lohmann, Carol Koosmann, Peg Tutila, Deanna Loken, Dee Burrington, Sandy Johnson, Joyce Held and Connie Blom. (Submitted photo)

Page 2 Our Life • Thursday, January 15, 2015

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A yearning to learn Bloomington senior finds wholeness with exercise, retail work, volunteerism

BY SUE WEBBER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

“My

Susan Lighter keeps a hectic schedule with work, exercise and volunteerism. (Photo by Mike Hanks Sun Current Newspapers)

calendar is pretty busy,” Susan Lighter said.

That’s definitely an understatement.

When the 79-year-old Bloomington resident retired 11 years ago and moved to Friendship Village, she continued with her old activities and found some new ones.

Four years ago, she started working her first retail job at Coldwater Creek. When the women’s clothing store closed, Lighter brought her newfound love for retail to Chico’s, where she works a four-hour stint four days a week.

“I’d never worked retail before, but I just love it,” said Lighter, whose pre-retirement career was working in research and development for plastic products at DuPont. “The ladies I work with are so wonderful,” she said. “I’m delighted with the camaraderie and working ambience.”

Her new part-time job comes after she completes daily 8:30 a.m. exercise classes in the fitness center at Friendship Village.

“I’m not a person who likes exercise by itself,” Lighter said. “I like the classes; I’m there for the workout. We have a wonder-

ful fitness program here. I volunteer in the fitness center, and they call when they need my help in health care.”

Lighter is a volunteer “abider” through Friendship Village’s chaplain ministry. Following training sessions, abiders sit with people who are dying, if they have no family nearby. “I’m not often called, but it’s a wonderful service,” Lighter said.

In the fall, she was elected to the residence council at Friendship Village. “After seven years there, I thought it was about time for me to give back.”

Lighter also has volunteered every two weeks for the last six years at the Science Museum of Minnesota. “I work in special exhibits,” she said. “It’s the butterfly exhibit now. I get out the microscope so people can look at the butterfly wings.

We get good training, so there are different areas where I can work.”

She is active at her church, takes educational college classes and is a 50-year active member of the Philanthropic Educational Organization, where she works on the scholarship award committee.

A native of Gettysburg, Penn., Lighter majored in biology, physics and chemistry in college. Her career plan was to work in medicine or occupational therapy (OT). “That was a very young field then because of World War II,” she said. “There were only one or two OT schools in the country.”

But love intervened when she met her future husband, a LIGHTER - TO PAGE 7

Advice for 2015: Stay awake for the ride Advice is a plentiful commodity with little or no market value. Everyone has lots to sell or give away, but no one is buying.

However, if the same advice keeps coming your way from multiple sources, it may be worth heeding.

For example, Caribou Coffee repeatedly advises us, “Life is short. Stay awake for it.”

Likewise, the Apostle Mark said, “And what I say to you I say to all, keep awake.”

Then there’s this mini-soliloquy by an author whose name I can’t remember: “What was your word, Jesus? Love? Forgiveness? Affection?

All your words were one word; Wakeup.”

These are just a few examples; but you get the point. With all these diverse voices urging us to remain awake and alert, there must be something to it. Obviously, these varied advisers don’t mean we should literally never sleep. But they are saying that being awake and aware of what’s going on is the only way to be truly alive and engage with the real world. It’s called “living in the moment.”

Guest column ... by Bob Ramsey As writer William J. Burkhardt pointed out, “You must live in the moment – really live it, not just endure it – because this very moment is pregnant with all sorts of possibilities, pregnant with the future.”

If we are not tuned in to the present, we miss much of the beauty, novelty, wonder, confusion, foolishness and excitement that make life interesting and worthwhile.

Some may think it’s easier for those of us who are older to live in the present because, as one wit observed, “We can’t count on tomorrow and we can’t remember yesterday.”

But it doesn’t work that way.

Actually, it’s easy to sleepwalk through the second half of life, completely lost in the haze of our own self-absorption, self-pity

and narrow self-interest. Also, numbing habit and routine can lull us into a trancelike, robotic life at any age. The more we are locked in to ourselves and our own trivial pursuits, the more we miss of the greater grandeur called life.

So, staying awake and paying attention is good advice whether you’re 20, 50, 70 or beyond. And right now – at the fresh beginning a new year – is a good time to give yourself a “wake-up call.” In fact, it just might make a great New Year’s resolution.

Of course, some people don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, they believe they’re a waste of time. But resolutions are what we make of them. They are promises to ourselves. Some we keep. Some we don’t.

Some resolutions are merely wishful thinking. Some are simply statements of what’s going to happen anyway. Others are noncommittal, like the guy who resolved “to be a better person, but not yet.” Some resolutions are just rhetoric. Others are for real.

Sometimes a resolution becomes a powerful objective that pulls us into the future

and alters our life. This could be one of those times.

So, if you’re weary of living solely by looking at yourself in the mirror and want to be more “alive” in 2015, why not take Caribou and others up on their advice?

A game-changing resolution could be as simple as vowing to live by the words of Mari Luti, a writer for the Stillspeaking Writers Group, who urged us, “Wake up, stay awake, watch out, heads up.”

That sounds to me like a good way to live at every age. What do you think?

Best wishes for a bodacious New Year!

Are you awake?

Bob Ramsey is a lifelong educator, freelance writer and advocate for vital aging. He is a retired associate superintendent of schools in St. Louis Park and the author of 30 professional books, including “Creating Vital Aging Communities.” Dr. Ramsey and his wife, Joyce, reside in St. Louis Park. He can be contacted at 952-922-9558 or joyrammini@ comcast.net.

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Our Life • Thursday, January 15, 2015 Page 3

A Life Journey Plymouth woman finally finds her biological parents Linda Banks of Plymouth played basketball in high school in southeastern Minnesota, achieving the Senior A Squad as a ninth-grader and being part of a district championship team when she was a senior.

“I was very athletic for a girl,” she said. “I even learned how to barefoot water ski at age 13, no skis, just my bare feet.” Now Linda may have at least one explanation for her athletic talent.

BY SUE WEBBER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

A

long search for her biological parents revealed that Linda Banks’ birth father, Robert Netolicky, who Linda Banks and her is 6 feet 9 inches biological mother, tall, had a pro ca- Cynthia of Colorado, reer from 1967-76 first connected in a in the American telephone call in May Basketball Asso- 2002 and reunited in ciation. person June 30, 2011.

Although she’d (Submitted photo) always known she was adopted, the story of Linda’s search for her biological parents began when she was 17 and happened to find a letter her biological mother, Cynthia, had written to her adoptive parents. At the time, Linda was living with her adoptive brothers and mother, Betty, in southeastern Minnesota.

“My mom and I were at the bank; she was going through her lock box,” Linda said. “I saw an envelope marked ‘For Linda when she’s older.’ After a long discussion with my parents, they decided to share it with me once I turned 18.”

“My adoptive parents were good people and just wanted me to be prepared for any emotional implications,” Linda said.

The letter that she finally was allowed to read was “absolutely beautiful,” Linda said.

“I was a love child of the 1960s,” she said. “I decided then that I wanted to find my biological parents.”

“My birth records were sealed,” Linda said. “I started searching for my birth parents during my college years at Mankato State University. I wrote lots of letters to

Bob Netolicky and his biological daughter, Linda Banks, had a joyous reunion in November 2014. (Submitted photo)

doctors and the hospital where I was born, as well as Linn County, Iowa. Since my records were sealed, I had no luck. Having access to the Internet made it easier in the late 1990s and early 2000s.”

After Linda saw a Sally Jesse Rafael show segment about an online adoption board, she posted her information in December 2001, and soon heard from a woman via email in Marion, Iowa, who found her information at Linn County and forwarded the name of Linda’s biological mother.

“Then I received all my hospital records,” said Linda, who began another search with ussearch.com. “They found Cynthia [her mother] within three weeks,” Linda said.

In May 2002 Linda contacted Cynthia, who lived in Chicago at the time. “I called her and said, ‘Does March 24th mean anything to you? I would like to learn about

my biological heritage and medical history.

If you are uncomfortable I will leave you alone.’”

Cynthia was stunned, but excited to hear from Linda. Their first conversation lasted more than two hours.

Linda learned from Cynthia that her biological paternal grandfather, Dr. R.Y. Netolicky, was a surgeon in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Linda’s biological parents had met at Drake University in 1966 and were never married. When Linda’s biological mother, Cynthia, was pregnant, she went to live with R.Y. and his wife until Linda was born. Ironically, both of Linda’s adoptive parents, Dr. Robert Sauer and Betty Sauer, worked for her paternal grandfather when they were starting out their medical careers. They never knew they were raising his granddaughter.

“My adoptive parents were very interested when I found my birth parents, since they knew Dr. Netolicky,” Linda said. “It was a significant piece of a puzzle that had been solved.”

During the course of subsequent phone conversations with her newfound biological mom, Cynthia hinted that Linda’s father was someone well known. Cynthia said she would give him Linda’s phone number if he wanted to call her.

Linda and her birth mother kept in touch through texts and letters several times a year. “I wasn’t going to push the relationship too hard,” Linda said. “I wanted to take it slow.”

Linda and her mother finally met in person in June 2011 in Radisson, Wisconsin. “My husband and I stayed for the day,” Linda said. “We all got along great. I met my half-sister Katy and her two boys.”

She “met” her biological father over the phone 12 years ago. “He did call me and was a sweetheart; we just clicked,” Linda said.

It wasn’t until November 2014 that they met face to face.

“I reunited with him in Indianapolis and stayed with him and his family for two days,” Linda said. “It was beyond my expectations. His wife treated me like royalty. I met my half-sister Nicole, her husband and two children. My husband said I’m like my birth dad; we have big hearts and high spirits.”

Linda’s husband, Doug, was able to take photos and videotape of both reunions.

Her adoptive mother died in 2010 and her adoptive father in 2011, so they didn’t live to witness the end of Linda’s long search.

“You really need to go into this with low expectations and a healthy attitude,” Linda said. “Luckily, it all went well for me. It’s given me a different perspective of who I am.”

Page 4 Our Life • Thursday, January 15, 2015

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“It’s quite surprising to me to see how people don’t know how to relax.

They work, work, work, work, work. When work stops, what do they do?” - Michael Ledman Michael Ledman brings his gentle yoga classes to Fridley each week, as well as to numerous neighboring suburbs.

(Submitted photo)

Senior citizens in Fridley can enroll in one of two weekly yoga classes.

(Submitted photo)

Yoga’s Pied Piper Gentle yoga instructor: ‘Don’t ever stop moving…’

BY SUE WEBBER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

M

ichael Ledman could be considered the Pied Piper of yoga.

He brings his yoga classes to 180 clients a week, from Anoka to Fridley, Columbia Heights, Spring Lake Park and Coon Rapids.

His repertoire, geared toward people ages 20-90 and all fitness levels, includes regular yoga, gentle yoga, Tai Chi and T’ai Chi Ch’uan.

“I took a class from him and convinced him to teach in Fridley,” said Connie Thompson, Fridley’s Senior Citizen Program supervisor. “It’s the best thing I’ve ever taken. He can adapt exercises to anyone’s ability, at any level. He is fabulous.”

Ledman explains that gentle yoga is not exclusively for seniors, but is geared toward them. It also is useful for people who have suffered physical injuries.

“It’s safe for everyone,” said Ledman, who has been teaching gentle yoga in Fridley for eight years and regular yoga classes there for 13 years.

“I encourage people to move as much as they can,” he said. “Seniors can do yoga

from a chair if their movement is limited, but not all of them opt to do that.”

His goal is for people to work individually on progressing forward in a healthy way, he said.

For seniors, the exercise helps with spatial and kinesthetic awareness, being more flexible and becoming more sure-footed.

It’s even useful for people with memory issues, Ledman said. “Quite a few of my clients have Alzheimer’s,” he said. “The physical repetition of movement helps the brain stimulate the memory center. And it helps the body relax.”

Relaxation is a topic of interest to Ledman. “It’s quite surprising to me to see how people don’t know how to relax,” he said. “They work, work, work, work, work.

When work stops, what do they do?” On his website, Ledman says people “spend a lot of time learning how to work faster and get more done, but they don’t spend enough time learning how to let go and relax.”

When people can learn how to relax, he said, “the whole body changes and can start to heal itself.”

Though he has a small studio at home for some clients, Ledman spends the bulk

of his time traveling from one city’s community education or park and recreation program to another to teach yoga. He’s been doing it for 25 years. Now he teaches two classes a week in Fridley and two in Columbia Heights.

Caryl Weaver of Fridley, 75, one of the people in Ledman’s Fridley class, attested to the difference yoga has made in her life.

“Oh, my gosh, I couldn’t bend over with my hands flat on the floor before I took this class,” Weaver said. “I take another one of his classes in Columbia Heights. I’m definitely a groupie. He is a fantastic teacher.

I’ve been other places where the teacher stands in front and you have to figure out what to do. But Michael shows us and comes around to check to make sure you get the alignment right and you don’t do anything stupid. He’s really, really good.”

A native Minnesotan, Ledman said he originally planned a career in biology and chemistry. Then, he said, “I started getting the connection with mind-body. I started with Tai Chi and fell into yoga.”

His early training in anatomy and math continues to serve him well, he said, in learning the muscular and skeletal alignments.

The rewards of his work are tangible. He recalls one senior who was proud that he could finally bend over and tie his shoes, when he hadn’t been flexible enough to do that before he took the yoga class.

“To hear those kinds of positive stories is incredibly rewarding,” Ledman said. “I get to help people and see them improve.”

He finds that women are more apt to sign up for yoga classes because they’re more interested in self-improvement and staying flexible. “Men at first are more resistant, even though they may have been in sports in high school and college,” Ledman said. “A large percentage of men slowly stop moving, and that’s a bad thing.

But once they get the connection, men really see the value of yoga and definitely are committed.”

Some seniors become yoga addicts, he said, not wanting to miss a class even if it’s below-zero weather.

“They realize the benefits and they see improvement,” he said. “Even people with asthma issues see a huge improvement.”

Ledman has advice that applies to seniors and everyone else, too: “Find something you enjoy doing and keep doing it. Don’t ever stop moving.”

Our Life • Thursday, January 15, 2015 Page 5

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Page 6 Our Life â&#x20AC;˘ Thursday, January 15, 2015

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Lighter: ‘My true love is geology’ FROM PAGE 2

Lutheran minister, and medical school then became “just a dream,” Lighter said.

The two were at churches in Denver and Wyoming for six years. “Those were heady years,” Lighter said.

Their next move was to Ft. Dodge, Iowa, for four years, after which her husband left parish work and went to work in the Lutheran Church’s national office in Chicago. He died an untimely death at the age of 39, leaving behind four children that Lighter raised on her own.

“You have to go on; you can’t wallow,” she said.

“You do what you have to do.”

Lighter resumed her scientific bent then, going to work in research on plastic products for North American Plastics and then for DuPont, working out of Columbus, Ohio.

When she first moved to Minnesota, she said, “I had a lot of time on my hands that I wasn’t using well. I felt I needed something to give me purpose.”

She started wrapping gifts at Von Maur during the holiday season. By then she’d made friends at Coldwater Creek and got to know the store manager and district manager. “They urged me to apply for a job, and I thought it might be kind of fun,” Lighter said.

“Then I just went over to Chico’s,” she said. “I just love working there. It’s a much smaller store and there’s more interface with the people I’m working with. I live so close that I can get over there when they need me.”

She says her heart is still with the sciences, Lighter said. “My true love is geology,” she said. “I am a rock hound. I’ve been picking up rocks since I was a toddler. I have the first one I found. I have rocks in the patio, on the shelves, on my desk and in the car. My son has some of them in Lakeville.”

“I go to Curiosity Camp at the University of Minnesota, and I belong to the Minnesota Geological Society, so I go to their lectures,” she said.

In the meantime, Lighter stands by the decision she made years ago to move to a life-care facility in her later years.

Her move to Friendship Village is, Lighter said, “the best gift I ever could have given my children and myself.” Her family now includes seven grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

“My four children know where I will be until the end of my life,” she said. “My children call it Happy Town.”

“This is where I live, and I love it,” Lighter said. “But I didn’t give up my outside life. I still have a big outside life.”

Our Life • Thursday, January 15, 2015 Page 7

Volunteers: ‘More than we could have dreamed’ FROM PAGE 1

Shayna Anderson, who served as St. James’ children’s ministry director for seven years and currently heads up the Power of One program at St. James, said there are 13-14 volunteers who work with Forest youngsters this year. “Most go once a week,” she said. “It depends on the person and their schedule.”

Anderson helps to pair teachers with a volunteer, and the teachers determine which children in their classrooms would most benefit from help with their reading.

But the one-on-one reading program has expanded into other kinds of help for the school. In August, the church earmarks its donations for a special offering to Forest School, Anderson said. “The volunteers collect school supplies, and then we open it up to the church,” she said. When the church hosts its back-to-school lunch for the teachers at the end of August, they present the money and supplies to Forest.

“The program is a lot of fun, and the teachers appreciate it so much,” Anderson said.

Sandy Johnson, a St. James member and former Forest parent who has volunteered with the program since it began, goes to Forest once a week for two hours. “I love little kids and I wanted to help,” she said. “I work with kindergarten kids, and I absolutely love it. We work right along with the teachers.”

One of the greatest rewards is starting in the fall with children who can’t read and finding them at the end of the year reading and understanding more about numbers, Johnson said.

Nancy Lohmann, a St. James member who is a retired kindergarten teacher, has been with Power of One since it started. “At the beginning, it was quite different,” she said. “Kids came to the church for after-school daycare and we were each assigned to one child.”

Lohmann now volunteers with first-graders at the school every Friday morning. “I love working with firstgraders,” she said. “It’s fun. I just enjoy being with kids and helping them read.

I’ve been assigned to the same teacher,

Paul Schiesel, for the last six or seven years. We work well together and we enjoy each other. He’s so good with the kids; the kids are so lucky to be in his class.”

She finds the volunteer effort beneficial because St. James members are able to see what’s happening in the schools. “ It’s been wonderful,” Lohmann said. “I want to continue as long as I possibly can.”

According to Lohmann, the program has been a model for other such partnerships.

Connie Grumdahl, who preceded Jackson as principal at Forest, was at the school when Power of One began.

“It is difficult to put into words what the Power of One and the St. James community have meant to Forest School, the importance of an incredible relationship and the blessings it bestowed upon a community,” said Grumdahl, who prior to her 18 years as principal was the instructional assistant, special education teacher and school psychologist at Forest.

“The creation of the Power of One was part of a discussion I had with Pastor Al Negstad at St. James the summer of 1996 when I started as principal at Forest,” Grumdahl said. “I was invited to St. James and was asked how St. James could support Forest School.

What came out of that first meeting was the brainstorming of ideas and the emergence of a one-on-one reading program for children.”

As Power of One evolved, the St. James coordinator recruited volunteers while the Forest coordinator recruited teachers and classrooms, Grumdahl said. Once volunteers and teachers were identified, a training/sharing meeting at Forest was hosted by the Forest coordinator.

After volunteers were assigned to a teacher, the volunteer and teacher planned the volunteer schedule. The teacher did the planning of the activities and the selection of the students who would most benefit from an additional opportunity for one-on-one reading. The teacher was responsible for preparing the volunteers and providing the materials.

“While it would be difficult to quantify the academic gains of every child through the Power of One program alone, we knew that it made a difference through observing the enjoyment of reading, the confidence built and the skills that improved,” Grumdahl said.

“Most importantly, however, the relationship that was built with the Power of One volunteer and the child was life changing for some children.

“When you read with a child, you open the doors to new adventures and possibilities. The Power of One volunteers did this. The teachers so appreciated the Power of One volunteers and looked forward to their presence, enthusiasm and their genuine love of children. Some of the volunteers stayed with the same teacher for many years.”

Over the years, the relationship with St. James and the Power of One became “more than we could have dreamed,” Grumdahl said.

For example: • Forest Adventure Club and the quilters from St. James together made quilts for a hospital crisis nursery.

• When Forest had a family with eight children and a father who was trying his best to meet their needs, St. James stepped in and provided furniture, blankets, food and clothing to help the family.

“As the demographics of our community changed and our families faced difficult economic times, Pastor David Lechelt from St. James was instrumental in creating and working with a consortium of churches, and Melodie Hanson from District 281, to provide Kid Packs for our children twice a month,” Grumdahl said. “The children received the Kid Packs on Fridays so they would have food over the weekend. That is still occurring.”

In addition, church volunteers provided warm clothing — hats and mittens for children in need.

“St. James has been a consistent, welcome presence in the well being of our children,” Grumdahl said. “Whether it is clothing, food, school supplies or volunteer readers, they have been there for Forest School all these years, willing to answer the call in need.”

Page 8 Our Life â&#x20AC;˘ Thursday, January 15, 2015

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