W N C PA R E N T. C O M
1
c o n t e n t s The in-between years This month’s features
3 Working teens
If teens want to — or need to — work, the key is finding balance between the job and life.
26
6 Bad behavior
Life is stressful for teenagers. Watch for signs of more than the usual trouble.
8 Money lessons
Learn five things you should teach children about money.
10 The Talk
26 Fun for little ones
Tiny Tykes is in a new space, which means big fun.
Guidance for talking about the birds and the bees.
36 The leftover feast
Male role models are particularly important in the lives of foster children.
43 Giving thanks
12 Importance of dad 22 Connected moms
Local moms are all over the Internet. Meet seven bloggers.
Tips for how to use your Thanksgiving leftovers. Find out how Asheville families mark Thanksgiving.
46 Tweens and vaccines Just because your baby is a tween doesn’t mean an end to shots.
As I am learning the hard way, when it comes to teens and tweens, parents can use all the advice and help they can get. (Right now, I can’t decide whether a 3-year-old going on 10 or an 11-year-old going on 25 is more challenging. The answer changes by the day.) For our issue on the adolescent years, we cover some serious issues to keep parents informed, and maybe even a bit more sane. Teens and tweens are big spenders. Teach them how to manage their money using the tips on Page 8. As teenagers want to spend more, they need to get money from somewhere. We explore guidelines for working teens on Page 3. We get into most parents’ least favorite topic too: the birds and the bees. Get advice on when is the right time to have The Talk and more on Page 10. Believe it or not, Thanksgiving is nearly upon us. We check in with Asheville families on how they celebrate this bountiful holiday on Page 43. And before Thanksgiving arrives, the Christmas celebrations start. A list of holiday goings-on starts on Page 51. May your Thanksgiving be filled with delicious food, good conversation and memorable time with friends and family! Katie Wadington, editor
Coming in December: Holiday fun Wanted for Show & Tell: Photos of kids who are scared by Santa. You’ve seen them, the children who are just wailing while sitting on Santa’s lap. Send to calendar@wncparent.com.
In every issue
Parent 2 Parent .................19 Librarian’s Pick..................29 Home-school Happenings ....30 Artful Parent .....................34 Kids’ Voices ......................42 Puzzles........................49-50 Calendar .....................56-63
2
On the cover
Rhiannon Webb, by Sheridan Cupp Photography, sheridancupp.com.
.com Are you a member? Join the conversation, post photos and connect with other parents at WNCParent.com. Look for WNC Parent on Facebook and Twitter.
P.O. Box 2090, Asheville, NC 28802 828-232-5845 | www.wncparent.com PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER Randy Hammer WNC PARENT EDITOR Katie Wadington - 232-5829 kwadington@citizen-times.com CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Nancy Sluder nsluder@citizen-times.com
FEATURES EDITOR Bruce Steele bsteele@citizen-times.com STAFF WRITER Barbara Blake bblake@citizen-times.com
ADVERTISING/CIRCULATION Miranda Weerheim - 232-5980, mweerheim@gannett.com CALENDAR CONTENT Due by Nov. 10. E-mail calendar@wncparent.com ADVERTISING DEADLINE Advertising deadline for the December issue is Nov. 15
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Working teen$
Jobs may be necessary but require kids to find balance among work, school, family By Barbara Blake WNC Parent writer
T
here comes that time in the lives of many teens when they want stuff — the coolest clothes, an iPod, a smart phone, fun dinners out with friends, the latest CDs and, eventually, a car. Often, that’s just fine with mom and dad — as long as the kids pay for things themselves. Funding the luxuries requires finding a job. And having a job requires learning to balance schoolwork, social time and work time, so grades don’t suffer and there’s room for friends and family time. While some teens look at a work as simply as a means of earning money to finance their fun, many parents think having a part-time job is part of learning experience that can help with maturity, responsibility and dealing with people of all sorts.
Real-life experience “I think every child should have a job at some point in high school,” said Chris Rice, of Marshall, whose 17-year-old daughter, Amber, works in the video department at the local Ingles grocery store on weekends and one or two days after school. “I think it’s very important that she and other children learn the responsibility of earning money and the sense of responsible spending,” Rice said of her daughter, who is a senior at Madison High School. “Her father and I have purchased the necessities of being a senior — invitations, pictures, etc. — and she has been able to buy her senior sweatshirt, senior bag and other little fun things,” Rice said. Amber also has learned some life les-
PHOTO BY BILL SANDERS
Amber Rice, a 17-year old senior at Madison High, works in the video department at Ingles in Marshall. sons about dealing with the public, her mother said. “Amber has, unfortunately, learned how to handle herself when customers have acted inappropriately, some making sexual comments and such,” Rice said. “She has learned that chain of command early, and has been taught that such actions are not acceptable. That, to me, has been the hardest part about her working — the stories that she tells about some of the remarks that are made, knowing that other don’t know how to talk to a young lady.”
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
Mixing work, pleasure Kathi Petersen, a marketing professional in Asheville, and her husband, Dan, encouraged their daughter Meg, now 25, to get a job in high school. “We felt she could manage it, knowing she would also need to figure out how to fit a part-time job – or several as it turned out – into her schedule at college,” Kathi Petersen said. Meg Petersen, a graduate of UNC Continues on Page 4
3
Working teens Continued from Page 3
Chapel Hill who now works in its development office, remembers her highschool jobs fondly — mostly because she found ways to work with friends. “It was sort of a social outlet for me,” she said, recalling her years at Zaxby’s and Outback Steakhouse. “Rather than try to balance school, a job and social time with friends, the job and social time kind of went hand-in-hand,” she said. One summer Petersen had three jobs — at an ice cream parlor in the morning, then Outback in the evenings. “And on Saturday I worked at a day care at Ladies Workout Express and got a free membership,” she said. Martha Ball’s daughter, Alex, 20 and a junior at UNC Asheville, started earning money at age 10 by helping her grandfather, the legendary broom maker Ralph Gates, at craft fairs across the region. Alex’ first “official” job came when she was a junior in high school and was a cashier in a grocery store. “We let her work as long as she was off work by 9 p.m. on school nights and was getting her school work done,” Ball said. Ball agreed with Meg Petersen that “teens seem happier working with other teens.” “Alex was miserable at jobs where there was not much interaction with her peers,” she said. “Her favorite was at Chuck E. Cheese’s as a party planner. She also played Chuck E. in the mouse suit — loved it.”
When to slow down While jobs for teens lead to money for “extras” — or more serious needs like future college tuition — there are red flags that parents should watch for that may indicate their children are overextending themselves. According to Holly Harris Cattanach, a guidance counselor at Enka High School, some of those red flags are a drop in grades, falling asleep in class, and changes in friends or moods. “I think it’s really hard for kids to work during the week and keep their
4
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
STATE LAW The N.C. Department of Labor has strict standards for employees under age 18. All workers under age 18 must have a Youth Employment Certificate, and there are rules governing the number of hours teens can work on school days and the types of jobs that are not allowed (those that are hazardous or involve the sale of alcohol, for example). For more detailed information, visit www.nclabor.com, click on Youth Work Permit under the Quick Clicks column on the right, then scroll to the bottom of the screen and click on Additional Information.
grades up; weekend hours are better,” Cattanach said. “It’s rare to see a student who works more than 15 hours a week and still maintains a high GPA.” Cattanach said she sees many students “who become trapped in a vicious cycle of car/insurance payments, working too many hours and having grades drop. They then become less qualified for scholarship assistance that might prevent them from having to work so many hours while in college.”
Finding fulfillment While there are plenty of high school kids behind the registers and bagging food at grocery stores, Meg Petersen said there are opportunities to find part-time jobs that are fulfilling. “There are things like coaching Little League teams — paying jobs that are fun and different,” she said. “You have to form relationships — talk to your parents, and to your parents’ friends, and let them know you’re available.” Petersen also advised that teens pay attention offered a business card. “When someone says to you, ‘Here’s my card — contact me,’ they’re not just saying that,” she said. “People really are genuinely willing to help younger people,” she said.
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
5
Troubled teens T
By Mike McWilliams WNC Parent contributor
rying to fit in. Making good grades. School can be a stressful time for many youngsters. For parents, it’s a good time to keep an eye out for signs their child might have problems beyond the normal trials and tribulations of growing up. “I would say we definitely see it across the board,” Lisa Von Dohlen, Buncombe County Schools’ lead social worker, said of problem behaviors exhibited among students. “We do know that transitional years are very difficult for students, which would be the sixth and ninth grade levels, where we really try to hone in on the students SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT
6
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
because there’s so much going on for them for the academic transition and the developmental stages they’re in, too.” Substance abuse, bullying and selfmutilation are but a few examples of what social workers in Buncombe County Schools encounter on a regular basis, Von Dohlen said. Generally, a student is referred to social workers by an administrator at their school, but there also are times when parents will call and express concerns. Suddenly going from good grades to bad grades, dramatic changes in eating or sleeping patterns and abruptly changing groups of friends are just a few possible signs of a troubled child, experts say. Many times, the problem stems from home, said Evelyn Chiang, who teaches a course in adolescent development at UNC Asheville. How well a child navigates adolescence depends greatly on the quality of their relationship at home and feeling supported and cared for. “Sometimes individuals engage in problem behaviors out of anxiety or depression,” Chiang said. “Or if we wanted to take a behavioral perspective, we might say that individuals engage in problem behaviors because they are being rewarded somehow for those behaviors. The solution then is to remove the reward, but depending on the seriousness of the behavior, the parent-child pair may need professional assistance.” Peer pressures at school and frustrations in academic or social environments are also factors that could lead to problem behaviors, Von Dohlen said. School social workers have a variety of solutions to offer students who might need help. “It could be anything from tapping into that student’s interests at school, connecting them with extracurricular activities, touching base with the school counselor or school social worker, or partnering them with an adult role model after school,” Von Dohlen said. “It really runs the gamut.” But probably the biggest deterrent to many problem behaviors is adult super-
POSSIBLE SIGNS OF A TROUBLED TEEN ◆ Changing friends abruptly, or becoming a loner. ◆ Anxiety and depression, beyond normal ups and downs. ◆ Dramatic change in performance at school, and a desire to constantly miss school. ◆ Behavior that can be considered destructive (hurting self or others, cruelty to animals, vandalism) and preoccupation with death.
vision, Chiang said. The hours between the time school lets out and when parents get home from work are prime time for engaging in problem behaviors. Thousands of children are left unsupervised after school, especially when they reach the upper elementary and middle school years, Chiang said. “If kids are actively and adequately supervised, they simply cannot engage in many problem behaviors,” she said. It’s also important for parents to maintain open communication with
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
◆ Signs of alcohol or drug abuse. ◆ Obsession with body image. ◆ Constant complaints about physical unwellness. ◆ Difficulty in coping with daily life. ◆ Dramatic changes in sleeping habits or eating patterns. ◆ Mood swings. ◆ Increasingly argumentative, defensive and violent. Source: troubledteen101.com.
their children, and stay tuned into their lives, Von Dohlen said. “Ask them about how they spent their day and what they enjoyed most about it, what challenges they had,” Von Dohlen said. “It’s really important to stay connected, even when things are going well. If they start seeing signs that might cause them concern, I would encourage parents to join school personnel to figure out what’s going on with their child, and being part of the problem-solving process to put supports in place.”
7
5
crucial tips for raising money-smart kids
By Jean Chatzky USA Weekend
DIVVY FOR LIFE
We don’t want our kids to make the same mistakes we did. When it comes to money, that can be a tall order. Before I was a “financial expert,” I spent more than I earned, started saving too late, racked up half a year’s salary in credit card debt and cashed out a 401(k). I want my children — ages 13 and 16 — and yours to avoid those missteps. I want them to grow up knowing how to live within their means, put something away for tomorrow and reach for a financial goal. Many U.S. schools don’t teach basic money management, so the only way to guarantee that your offspring absorb this important life skill is to teach it at home. I wrote “Not Your Parents’ Money Book: Making, Saving and Spending Your Own Money” (Simon & Schuster) to start teens on a path to financial success. Here are five tips for raising money-smart kids:
Give children money to manage In focus groups I did with middleschool kids around the country to see what they know — and want to know — about money, I found that even 11through 13-year-olds are pragmatic about finances. They want to know how much it will cost them to live independently, what jobs pay those salaries and how they can earn money today, “besides baby-sitting.” What they don’t know is the cost of things, from a pair of jeans to a bag of groceries. To build a sense of real-world prices and values,
8
Weaverville resident Jon Corbin, along with business partners Maureen Scullin-Baccarella and Tony Delia, developed the game Divvy for Life to help teach his children about managing money. Starting with the basics of budgeting, kids learn to live within their means, save for the unexpected, set aside money to help others and learn how to budget for future investing. For more information, visit divvyforlife.com.
PHOTO BY ERIN BRETHAUER
give your kids some money and let them decide how to use it. In my house, we do this with an allowance. But take care: Sometimes, with the best intentions, we tell our kids they’ll get their cash on Sunday, then don’t have the correct change or put them off because we’re busy, incidentally teaching them that it’s OK not to pay your bills on time. Or we give our kids an allowance but continue to hand out cash when they ask for it, teaching them that there’s always more where that came from. An allowance should come with a list of types of purchases that now become their responsibility. For younger children, it may be candy at the checkout counter or the latest Silly Bandz-type fad. For older kids, it could be movies or gifts for friends. As responsibilities grow, so should the allowance.
Offer incentives for saving Instill the habit of saving for the future and for things they can’t afford on a week’s allowance. Learn from companies that offer incentives to customers and employees to lose weight, stop smoking and contribute to 401(k)s. Decide how you want to reward your child for setting and achieving a savings goal, whether for an iPod or college. That’s good practice for saving for a house or retirement. I’ve found a dollar-for-dollar match to be effective. Or you could say: “For every $75 you save, I’ll add $25.”
Strongly encourage work My children will attest: There’s a big difference between the money I give them (even as an allowance) and the
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
money they earn. When it’s earned money, a night of ice skating isn’t just half their allowance — it’s two hours of work. That’s an important difference to appreciate, and the only way it will resonate with your children is if they work. Unless your kids are logging more than 20 hours of work a week, research shows, it won’t hurt their grades.
Talk about money Many of us were taught that talking about money is taboo. It needn’t be. It doesn’t have to mean sharing your salary, but it should include discussing the cost of things like dinner out, vacations and college, and which things are family priorities and why. If times are tough in your house, explain to your children that cutting back to ensure your needs are covered is a family affair. Don’t worry that a frank discussion will stress your children. Knowing and feeling as if they’re doing something to help can reduce stress. (I partnered with American Express to launch National Money Night Talk. You can download a free toolkit with talking points to get you through it at moneynighttalk.com.)
Let them fail One way to ensure that financial lessons sink in is to let kids make and live with mistakes, like a $60 video game that turns out to be boring. Do not cave in and buy him a different game. You can point him to the program at the game store that will buy back used games at a discount. You can suggest he try to find someone to take it off his hands at swaptree.com. But don’t bail him out. Children, much like adults, need to learn: Only by carefully considering how to make the most of our money will we, and they, make the right decisions with it — at least most of the time. Jean Chatzky, award-winning journalist and best-selling author, is the financial editor for NBC’s Today, a contributing editor for More Magazine, and a columnist for The New York Daily News. She blogs daily at JeanChatzky.com.
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
9
&
The birds the bees How to talk about it with your kids By Pam J. Hecht, WNC Parent contributor
When Brenda Haller was a child, her parents didn’t talk to her about sex — she had to figure it out on her own. She remembers kids whispering about it to each other, spreading the wrong information. Haller, an Asheville parent, wanted her own kids, ages 14 and 16, to know the facts, so in their household, they talk about it. “I don’t want them to be in the dark,” she says. When children are comfortable asking questions and talking with their parents about sex, they are less likely to try risky behaviors or “behaviors their parents want them to avoid” and more likely to have healthy sexual relationships later on, says Cathy Hohenstein, family and consumer sciences agent, N.C. Cooperative Extension Service in Asheville. Educating kids about sex can also prevent sexual abuse, says Amy Lang, a sexual health educator and author who created the website birdsandbeesandkids.com to educate parents on the topic. “Children who are innocent when it comes to baby-making, body differences and communicating about these topics are exactly who pedophiles target,” Lang says. “If your child doesn’t know that
10
sex is for much later in life and not for kids … she’s at risk.”
Begin early When they’re young, model healthy relationships and talk to your child about what a healthy relationship looks and feels like — say, “Mommy loves it when Daddy says nice things about me,” says Hohenstein. “Be askable parents throughout their lives, by reacting positively when they have questions,” says Donna Breitenstein, director of the N.C. Comprehensive School Health Training Center and an education professor at Appalachian State University. “Have conversations early and often and don’t necessarily wait for their questions — they may never indicate they’re ready to talk
about it.” Keep it truthful but abstract for kids 6 and younger, experts say, and answer on their level in terms they can understand. Be relaxed and matter-of-fact. “It’s important to hear the question,” says Deborah Roffman, a nationally certified sexuality and family life educator and author of two parenting books on the topic. Be sure you understand what they’re asking before you answer and keep your answers simple — don’t give them more information than they need, she says. “Use the correct terminology for body parts because kids will be embarrassed by nicknames later,” Breitenstein adds. It’s easier to start talking to your kids about reproduction before they’re 7 or so, “before the ‘ew gross’ factor kicks
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
in,” says Lang. “At that age, you’re the instant expert, kids get used to hearing about it from you and it becomes a natural part of your family culture.” Later, talk to them about “the meaning of sex and help them understand that it’s a form of physical intimacy for adults,” says Roffman. Meanwhile, the bottom line, says Lang, is to talk about the topic regularly and to trust your instincts as a parent (about when and how to present the information).
Avoid ‘The Talk’ It’s a common misperception that there’s just one important discussion you need to schedule with your child, says Breitenstein. “It should be an ongoing conversation,” she says. “Whenever there’s a teachable moment, share information, like when you hear explicit lyrics in a song. “Ask what they or their friends think — it’s easier to talk about songs or what friends think,” she says. Offer information little by little over time, just like learning numbers before calculus, Roffman says.
Provide the facts “It’s recommended that kids have a basic understanding of pretty much everything related to sexuality before middle school,” says Lang. “Once they’re in that environment, they are exposed to everything and it’s empowering for them to have this information before they need it.” When her son was 11, Haller wanted to make sure he got all the information before he heard it from friends. She gave him a book and he asked her questions as he was reading, she says. Her daughter was not as interested in the topic, she says, and Haller insisted that they read a book together. “With all of the sexual messages they see in the media, we need to have these discussions earlier than when we were kids,” says Debbie Bryant, healthful living coordinator for Buncombe County Schools. “Trust your instincts about when to bring up the subject.” If your child goes to public school,
RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
For online tips, visit: ◆ siecus.org ◆ plannedparenthood.org ◆ advocatesforyouth.org ◆ life.familyeducation.com/sex/parenting/36436.html ◆ 4parents.gov ◆ thenationalcampaign.org ◆ buncombecounty.org/governing/ depts/Health/healthEd/AdolescentPregnancyPrevention/default.htm Kid-friendly books ◆ “It’s So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families” by Robie H. Harris ◆ “It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health” by Robie H. Harris ◆ “The What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Boys” by Lynda Madaras ◆ “The What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Girls” by Lynda Madaras ◆ “The Care & Keeping of You” (American Girl) by Valorie Lee Schaefer ◆ “Where Did I Come From?” by Peter Mayle ◆ “What’s Happening to Me?” by Peter Mayle ◆ “The Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality,” by Michael J. Basso
PARENT WORKSHOP Talking to your Kids about Sex: 9 a.m.noon Nov. 2 or 1-4 p.m. Nov. 14; $30; First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St., Asheville. Facilitated by Kelley Wolfe, Ph.D. For more information and/or to register, e-mail terra@zealtoheal.com or call 335-7287.
find out about the reproductive health classes being taught, says Bryant. “Have a conversation with your child at the same time these classes are going on,” she says. “Share your values and expectations for them, such as remaining abstinent before marriage.” And if you don’t know how to answer a question immediately, it’s OK to say you’d like to get more information and talk about it later, Hohenstein says.
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
Encourage body talk From a young age, it’s important to emphasize which body parts are “private” and to explain that no other person is allowed to touch these parts, with the exception of a doctor or a parent, experts advise. At the onset of puberty, “ask general questions like ‘What is your body doing?’ ‘How is it working?’ and ‘Do you have any questions about your body?’ ” says Dr. Harald Kowa, an Asheville pediatrician. The “soft” signs of puberty, often appearing among preteens, include erratic behavior, tantrums and testing, says Kowa, and “definite signs include hair where the underwear covers and on underarms, and body odor.” Girls start puberty earlier than boys — typically in fifth or sixth grade — and boys start in seventh to ninth grade, Kowa adds.
Get creative If you’re a single parent and uncomfortable discussing the topic with your child, enlist the help of a relative or another trusted adult the child feels comfortable with, says Hohenstein. Try journaling with a child who doesn’t want to talk about it, she adds. Ask them to write down what they’ve heard already and write back to them. Keep books on the subject within handy reach, so kids can refer to them when they have questions. Cheryl Morrison, of Fairview, who has a 14-year-old daughter and sons ages 13 and 11, says she’s found the topic challenging, even with her experience as a midwife and childbirth educator. “I have a hard time talking about it with my daughter,” she says. “My sons have always asked questions, but she doesn’t want to talk about it.” When her older son was 9, they were watching a TV documentary about whale and dolphin mating and he asked about how people do it, she says. “It was the perfect opportunity to talk about it, and I wished my daughter had been there,” she said. “It made me realize that I’d better start talking to her, too.” Pam J. Hecht is a freelance writer and editor. E-mail her at pamjh8@gmail.com.
11
Foster dads play significant role in boys’ lives By Barbara Blake WNC Parent writer
From the time Shane Whitley was 5 years old until he aged out of the foster care system at 18, he lived in numerous foster homes, too many to count. Along the way, there was one particular foster father who made an impact on Whitley. The kindness and wisdom he showed the young man, now 19, stuck with him, and probably had a lot to do with the fact that he’s now studying at Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College to become a firefighter. “With all the stuff I went through, all the challenges and roadblocks, he taught me lessons I still use,” Whitley said. “He respected me a lot and treated me real good; he spent a whole lot of time with all of us, like, he didn’t let us ride the bus, he took us and brought us
12
home from school. And he made us feel more like a family than a foster kid.” Those who work in the field of foster care and adoption say they can’t overemphasize the impact foster fathers can have not only on boys, but girls as well. They will repeat that message over and over on Nov. 13 at the annual WNC Foster/Adopt Fall Festival at the Crowne Plaza Resort, a drop-in event running 2-5 p.m. Jeff Camp, a social worker with the sponsoring Buncombe County Department of Social Services, said the teens he works with have minimal or no involvement from their biological fathers or other male adult figures in their lives. “For some kids, their foster father is the first positive male role model they have ever had, and they are in their mid- to late teens at this point,” Camp said. “Many of the teens have had males involved, but usually it’s a male law enforcement officer or judge, so it’s not always a positive situation.
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
“Foster fathers can help model what positive male behaviors can be, or should be,” he said. “They can bring wisdom from a male perspective that is at times different than a female or mother’s viewpoint. Teens who are males need this in terms of influencing how they themselves may treat others, including the women in their lives in the future.” Darrel Bowles, a local pastor, and his wife, Robin, became foster parents to a now-12-year-old girl and her 4-year-old brother. Unfortunately, the children were not able to be reunited with their birth family and needed a permanent home. They eventually became available for adoption, and the Bowles’ were overjoyed for them to become a permanent part of their family. On the journey from fostering to adopting, before they knew the two siblings would become their own, they learned the heartbreak of becoming attached to children who would — ideally — be eventually reunited with their birth family. But Darrel Bowles found that the pain of the loss was worth it. “As a foster dad, you have to be able to understand that what you do in the temporary time that you have the child in your home can leave a lifelong impression,” he said. “I thought I could do this and let them go without being deeply affected — wrong. You have to be able to give yourself away and not expect to get anything back in return. You will have moments of sheer joy and moments of fear, and you have to live in the tension between these.”
FOSTER/ADOPT FALL FESTIVAL ◆ The annual WNC Foster/Adopt Fall Festival will be 2-5 p.m. Nov. 13 at the Crowne Plaza Resort between Westgate and Sam’s Club, hosted by Buncombe County DSS and WNC foster care agencies. ◆ The drop-in event is free and focuses on increasing community awareness of the ways people can help kids, including foster care, adoption, respite, mentoring and sponsoring. ◆ Participants can visit booths with information about becoming foster or adoptive parents; learn more about specific children who need adoptive homes; and talk to foster and adoptive parents about what the experience is really like. There also will be a kids area with arts and crafts, face painting, music and light snacks. ◆ For more information, contact Erica Jourdan at 775-2404, or Erica.jourdan@buncombecounty.org. Troy Dowers, who, with his wife, Robyn, has a 15-year-old biological daughter and an adopted newborn daughter, are also foster parents to a little boy. The difference in the child since joining their family has been remarkable, he said. “His grades have turned around quite a bit, cause somebody was paying attention to him, and making sure he was doing what he was supposed to be doing,” Dowers said. “Since he’s been with
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
us, he’s been on the A and AB honor roll every semester.” Their foster son gets along well with their 15-year-old, and “has taken on the role of ‘pacifier’ for the baby — whenever the baby starts crying, if he’s nearby, he runs to her side and tries to help keep her calm.” Dowers said one of the keys to being a good foster dad is including the boy as an active participant in the family, and in social outlets such as sports and scouting. But he agreed with Bowles that with the satisfaction of being a good foster parent does lead to pain. “They said in our (fostering) class that we would become experts at loss — but that doesn’t make it any easier when it happens,” Dowers said. “The reward is having another precious soul in the home to share our love with, and seeing a child flourish in ways that he probably wouldn’t have otherwise. “It’s just a good feeling knowing that you’ve helped this child through a difficult time, and hopefully made some positive impacts in their life,” he said. Ron Stier, who works with Professional Parenting in Asheville, said boys never stop needing their dads, but sometimes those dads are not available to them. “A foster father has the chance to help fill that void, to teach boys how to be kind and caring, and yet still distinctly boys,” Stier said. “In my work, I’ve seen how foster dads can play a huge role in helping kids and families to heal. “Foster fathers really can change the world,” he said, “one boy at a time.”
13
divorced families
How to better communicate with teens
By Trip Woodard WNC Parent columnist
When you hear the word “teenager,” what are the first things that come to your mind? A wonderful golden age, full of fun and childparent intimacy? Having a family member around the house that automatically sees what needs to be cleaned or fixed and then does it? A person who is a social delight to introduce to your new acquaintances from work? If these were your answers, I want to know what medication you are taking because it is vastly superior to mine! Seriously, not all teenagers present trials and tribulations to their parents,
14
but many go through periods of at least offering challenging moments. So first, I want to share one good piece of information specifically concerning teens and divorce. I think that both ordinary teens and teens of divorce struggle with similar developmental issues and needs for support. Teenagers of divorcing families differ in that they may use different ammunition in their conflicts with their parents, but the pattern of “conflict communication” and periodic power struggles are the same. A basic strategy to soften potential conflicts with all teenagers is to remember that their brains are still growing. This is significant because diet (foods rich in Omega-3 oils and antioxidants are good for the brain, while most all fast food and junk food are not), exercise (30 minutes of cardio a day), recreational investments such as learning music or
playing sports, and having parents that are less emotionally reactive in conflicts with their teens all help to encourage the growth of healthier adolescent brains. And a healthy brain means clearer thinking in communications, better problem solving, and a “thicker skin” to stress. As far as actual things to do and say to help you through the vast array of conflict topics between you and your teen, I would suggest that you consider taking a Love and Logic course. (They are offered in Buncombe and many other counties for free by various agencies — check with United Way for options.) Love and Logic was developed by educator Jim Fay, and his materials will give you some direct ideas as to what to say in situations such as a teenager trying to bait you into a power struggle. By the way, you never win a power struggle with a teenager … they just let
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
you think you do. Most teenagers spend the balance of their day and night texting other teenagers as to the latest research findings on how to trick adults into silly arguments (which they win). They find this much more fun than the average video game. Author John Gottman, on the other hand, has another approach using general communication principles. While most of his books are intended for adult couples, I think his ideas readily translate into parent-teenager usage. Let’s look at four significant communication problems and solutions researched by Gottman and see how they can be applied to dealing with teens: ◆ Criticism. This refers to the idea that you place blame on your teenager; a problem exists because there is something wrong with him or her. An example might be, “If you weren’t so lazy and would get a part-time job instead of playing video games all of your spare time, you wouldn’t have to mooch off of me for things like pizzas for your friends.” The solution is to complain without
blaming. “You want money for buying pizzas for your friends when they come over. I can understand that. Since I can’t afford that, I wonder what you could do in your spare time to earn that money?” ◆ Defensiveness. They say something you don’t like and you return fire with a criticism or comment of your own. Teen: “You always let me down.” Adult: “Well, you never plan things with consideration for others and then expect me to do things for you at the last minute.” The solution here is to try to take responsibility where you can for the problem. Teen: “You always let me down.” Adult: “Well, I can imagine it might feel that way to you. I wonder if we can talk about ideas to solve problems so you don’t feel so disappointed.” ◆ Contempt. This is approaching problems with an attitude of moral or intellectual superiority. My favorite: “You have some real problems…you need therapy.” The solution is what Gottman calls “building a culture of appreciation.” This means getting into a daily habit of noticing what your teen does right and giving
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
them a brief remark about it. It also means saying “thank you” to simple things done. ◆ Stonewalling. This looks like pouting or sulking. Usually brought about when a person feels overwhelmed and “not being able to say anything right.” Gottman describes this as a physiological process he calls “flooding,” which renders one incapable of constructive problem solving or empathy. The solution is to do whatever it takes to calm yourself down. Break contact with your “opponent,” then do something like go for a short walk or soak in a hot bath. Re-engage the conversation once you have calmed down. I know the examples I have given of Gottman’s ideas are brief, but the principles are solid. For more information about his approach, go to The Gottman Institute at gottman.com. Trip Woodard is a licensed family and marriage therapist and a clinical member of the N.C. Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Contact him at 6068607.
15
Middle school: IN REAL LIFE By Kate Pett and Leah Ferguson Asheville City Schools Foundation One of the problems with middle school is right there in its name: It’s in the middle. For kids, the middle school years are kind of a nowhere zone between being the children that they were to being the young adults they long to be. In books, the middle is the place where all the action happens; the place where you’ve gotten to know the character and you’ve invested in how you want the story to end. Middle school is like that, too: the place children emerge as learners, individuals, and citizens of the larger community, and start taking a path. Even though we recognize that fact, many communities don’t take advantage of the opportunity to shape our middle schools into places where kids will take the best path and ensure a happy ending. Two years ago in our little town of Asheville, several young teens were involved in serious violence that left one young teen dead and another paralyzed from the neck down. It was this tragedy that sparked a community-wide dialogue about how to keep our young teens safe and engaged after school. After-school and summer hours are key opportunities to help young teens learn about themselves and the world. Unfortunately, out-of-school programs have failed to recognize middle school students as the unique group they are. Too often they are lumped with elementary school kids in day care. Or perhaps worse, young teens are thrown into less structured ball-in-the-gym type programs for high school students. Asheville City Schools Foundation is poised to be part of a citywide revolution in the way we support young teens.
16
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
IN REAL LIFE ◆ 3:30-5:15 p.m. Monday-Friday. ◆ $40 per program, with scholarships available. ◆ Most programs at Asheville Middle School, though some are off-site. ◆ Visit inreallifeasheville.org for details. In partnership with 15 community agencies, ACSF launched the IRL “In Real Life” after-school program on Sept. 20. This program marks the culmination of over two years of research and planning. What makes this program so innovative? It is youth driven. Program offerings are designed based on teen input, and programs will be evaluated by teens and their families on a regular basis. IRL gives young teens what they say they want: choice, and lots of it. By asking each of the agencies involved to bring their best offering one or two days a week, each teen can explore his or her unique interests. Students chose from a menu of programs covering everything from soccer to African dance. Enrichment programs are selected to enhance what goes on during the school day so that students can see what the “in real life” implications are of what they are learning. Many programs include an opportunity to give back to the community and make a difference. Young teens in Asheville are at the point in their lives when their stories are at a turning point. By engaging them, with the best our community can offer we can ensure that our children in the middle can see the possibilities that await them. This is the happy ending we are all looking for. To get to this happy ending we need to keep holding the place for young teens in our community, transforming the nowhere of middle school into a place where every child can be more of themselves. The Asheville City Schools Foundation is an independent nonprofit organization that promotes the success of all ACS students by mobilizing the community to support innovative educational activities. Pett and Ferguson are co-directors of ACSF. For more information, visit acsf.org.
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
17
18
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Social media guru
Kelby Carr balances a blog, consulting business and 3 kids By Barbara Blake WNC Parent writer Kelby Carr, 38, is the founder and host of Type-A Mom Conference, which was held in September in Asheville. She is a writer, a pioneer of the social mom blog, a search engine optimization (SEO) and social media consultant, and former investigative newspaper reporter. She is the publisher of a network of parenting social sites, including Type-A Mom and Foodie Mama, and operates a service, Momtent, to connect mom bloggers and companies in an ethical way. She is the author of Mom Blog SEO and blogs about social media, blogging and business at kelbycarr.com. She and her husband, Mike Carr, are the parents of Gabrielle, 7, and 4-yearold twins, Kaya and Ethan. Q. Your bio lists so many different things you do. Is there a singular “occupation” you claim? A. That can be tough, since my expertise ranges pretty wildly. I try to sum up typically by concentrating on the broader categories of Web publishing and social media consulting. I am also a freelance writer (and, in fact, writing and newspaper journalism are my background), but I usually list that and skills such as SEO on bios. Q. You work primarily from home. What’s a typical day like in your household? A. We recently enrolled our 4-yearolds in preschool, so the work schedule is much less insane. Beforehand, it meant mostly working during naps and after their bedtime. Now, my workday pretty well matches the school day, although I often do work in the evenings to keep up and/or because I was not working during the day due to running errands or just doing something fun.
PHOTO BY HOLLI HARTMAN
Kelby Carr enjoys a treat with her kids at The Hop in West Asheville. Carr runs typeamom.com. That is part of the beauty of being selfemployed, which is the scheduling freedom. In many ways, every day is different. Q. You’d thinking from looking at your dizzying resume that you are online 24/7. How do you budget your time to allow you to do all of your blogging/Web work and still have time/ energy to be a mom and wife? A. That is a big challenge, especially in a social media space where people expect me to be accessible 24/7. Over the past couple of years, I’ve gotten better about deciding that tweets, e-mails, Facebook messages and so on can wait until I am in work mode. The nice thing about smart phones is the ability to keep tabs on all of those things in case some-
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
thing urgent pops up, but I had to learn that most things are not truly urgent. Q. Are there times when you’re completely “unplugged”? A. I am not so great at going completely off the grid, but I do spend a lot of time reading. Since I am such a digital junkie, I have become a big fan of eBooks because I can grab downtime to read and relax anytime. I read fiction for enjoyment every evening. Q. What are some the practical benefits to doing all of your blogging/Web work? Are you benefiting as well as benefiting others? A. I think the biggest benefit is the ability to connect real-time with the Continues on Page 20
19
Continued from Page 19
world. That can range in benefits from creating amazing career and business opportunities to solving technical obstacles to getting help with parenting quandaries. I also try to be helpful to others as often as I can. In fact, I believe strongly that social media influencers have a responsibility to support the social media and blogging community. Q. How did the Type-A Mom Conference go? Anything evolve from that, or new initiatives that it led you toward? A. This year was the second Type-A Mom Conference, and I was thrilled with it. I received tons of wonderful feedback. There were 350 attendees who came from all over the U.S. and as far away as Australia. The most interesting thing for me was the addition of dads as speakers and attendees. There were some revolutionary conversations that happened because both moms and dads were at the table. As a result, I have decided to rename my site to Type-A Parent and my conference to Type-A Parent Conference to be more welcoming to all parents. I definitely will do it again, and I am already working on plans for 2011. Q. How can moms benefit from either reading or writing blogs? A. The connections are the biggest benefits, whether you write blogs, read them or both. This era has made it possible, for example, to connect with parents who have the exact same situation as you. In your physical community, you would be hard pressed to not only find other parents but to find other parents with the exact same situations (same age kids, same issues with kids such as special needs or twins or only children) and with the same interests (food, travel, green topics, etc.). Q. Are there any downsides to self-employment, or is it all good? A. The best thing about being selfemployed is ruling my own destiny. There is no such thing as a bad boss (if a client is especially difficult, I need not work with that person) or a schedule, as I set my own. The downside basically
20
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
boils down to a couple of things: no access to group health insurance, higher taxes and inconsistent paychecks. With a regular job, you make the same week after week. When you’re self-employed, you end up with peaks and valleys. Q. What do you love most about being a mom? A. I love the interaction and seeing their minds develop. I know many moms say they miss the baby days, but I am actually the opposite. I love the ages of my children now because we can talk, laugh and debate. Each child is so individual, and I love watching their skills, talents and interests blossom. Q. Along that line, what do you as a family enjoy doing together? A. I enjoy traveling with the kids and cooking with them. Our first traveled all over Europe with us when she was 1, and my kids starting helping in the kitchen at around the toddler stage. We also love being local tourists, and visit places like the Arboretum, Biltmore, The Health Adventure and WNC Nature Center regularly. Q. What do you do just for you to keep your sanity? A. In all seriousness, the reading is one of my favorite things just for me. I also enjoy going to social media conferences. I speak some of the time, so there is an element of work, but it is also a chance to meet the people in real life who I communicate with daily at the virtual watercoolers on Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc. Q. Do you see social media playing an increasingly important role in parenting? Do you think it’s a passing phase that will eventually die down? Or will it only get more expansive and convenient? A. I definitely believe this is not a phase but a shift in how we communicate. Delivered mail, phones and e-mail were not phases, but a societal shift. Those could become obsolete if newer versions of communication erode their use. But the bottom line is that social media is how many people communicate, and that will not go away anytime soon. I think parents in particular crave the interaction of social media because it is more difficult for them to use some of the more traditional methods of connecting like meeting in person and talking on the phone.
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
21
Moms online
Asheville-area moms are all over the blogosphere By Katie Wadington, WNC Parent editor
From Asheville to Boone and in between, WNC moms add their wisdom to the blogosphere, Twitter and more. Here’s a look at just a few local mom bloggers.
my blogging exploding on the Web. This was in early 2005. I thought EdgyMama (edgymama.com) — it’d be fun to share my stories and create an audience. And it was. “Will trade kids for beer.” Tweeting followed naturally when I I rarely give actual parenting advice. My primary niche is telling learned about Twitter. Though humorous stories about how chal- when I started tweeting in 2007 there weren’t many folks using it. lenging parenting can be. Plus, I think kids are hilarious, and I love I’ve been shocked at how Twitter has taken off. quoting them. Have your kids ever asked On Twitter: @edgyyou to blog about something? mama Yes. They have ideas all Do you prefer Facebook the time. Sometimes or Twitter? I prefer they’re good ideas, such Twitter, though I Faceas when we were planbook as well. I feel ning a low-cost birthday that Twitter offers me party for my daughter, more relevant news and she said, “You should and local events inforwrite about this.” Most of mation than Facebook. the time, I ignore their ideas. GetAnd while I love my friends, I ting 600 to 800 words out of a kid’s really don’t need to know what knock-knock joke is beyond my they’re doing every day. ability as a writer. Plus, I feel guilty about the Favorite blogs or people you follow on whole Facebook birthday notiTwitter? I actually rarely read other fications. I swear at least three of mommy blogs. I mostly read local my friends have a birthday every blogs and follow local people, such day, and I feel guilty if I forget to as BlogAsheville, Scrutiny Hooliwrite “Happy Birthday” on their gans, Ashvegas and Mountain walls. Then I get angry that I feel Xpress. Lately I’ve been following compelled to try to keep up with all these people’s birthdays. Some lots of local and national beer writers and craft breweries. of you are putting down multiple Do you maintain any other blogs or birthdays, aren’t you? Twitter feeds? Indeed. Brewgasm. How did you get into blogging or com and @brewgasm. My two pritweeting? I was writing stories mary paid gigs are a parenting colabout my kids in these little noteumn and a beer column. How’s that books when I realized that there was this whole new world of mom- for co simpatico?
Anne Fitten Glenn
22
Angela Pippinger The Pagan Mom Blog (thepaganmomblog.com) — Marriage, kids, paganism On Twitter: @PaganMomBlog What do you write most about? I am all over the place, I write about whatever happens to be on my mind. Is there something you won’t post? Anything that my children request I not blog about. Otherwise I don’t censor myself. How did you get into blogging or tweeting? Blogging came about just to satiate a need to write. I have always loved writing, and it was just an outlet. Now I am out to educate about paganism and that interfaith marriages do work Favorite blogs or people you follow on Twitter? There are tons! BlogAsheville (blogasheville.com) is my fave for local events, Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom (confessionsofapagansoccermom.com) because I relate, and Homeschooling A Texas Tornado and A Toddler Tag-A-Long (homeschoolingintexas.blogspot.com) because she is my rock in the home-schooling world. Do you maintain any other blogs or Twitter feeds? I am taking care of the Mother Grove Temple Twitter account (@MotherGroveTmpl)
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Michelle Lee
How did you get into blogging or tweeting? I The Adventures of was pregnant with my Supermom (the third child, over five adventuresofsuperyears ago, and my mom.com). brother-in-law sugAs a mother of four gested I start one. children ranging in age Have your kids asked from a teenager to a you to blog about sometoddler, I deal with a lot thing? Not really. My of things that mothers oldest kids do read my can relate to. I find the Internet to blog and cringe when they see be a great place to express myself. that I’ve blogged about them. On Twitter: @SupermomTweets Hey, if you know your mom is a What do you write most about? Being blogger and tells the WWW a parent with four kids, being the everything that happens in the wife of Superdad and trying to be house, then you’d think they’d true to who I am. be more aware of what they do. Is there something you won’t post? The kids do give me great blogNope. Unless I am asked to not ging material though. blog about it. Everything else is Do you maintain any other blogs or WIDE open and is probably alTwitter feeds? I have supermomready on my blog. reviews.com.
Lucinda ‘Cindy’ Watrous It’s Foodtastic! (itsfoodtastic.com) — “What Happens When Foodies Marry Each Other.” On Twitter: @ItsFoodtastic What do you write most about? Recipes my husband creates, recipes from other chefs we love, and cooking shows. How did you get into blogging or tweeting? I discovered blogging once I found freelance writing as a way to make money so I could stay home and take care of my son. I moved from the traditional “mommy blogging” when Joe started school, and started It’s Foodtastic! earlier this year with my husband to help him further his dream of going to culinary school. It’s been a wonderful experience because he gets to share his love of food with my love of writing and blog-
ging. We’ve always bonded together over preparing a meal, but the blog has intensified it. I still get to talk family and motherhood, too, so it’s a much better fit for me. Has your child asked you to blog about something? He’s asked me to blog about certain things his daddy makes, though nothing in particular, yet. He knows we make dishes to put on the blog, and enjoys the photo sessions along with devouring the meal. Favorite blogs or people you follow on Twitter? Eclectic Mommy (http://eclecticmommy.com), Type-A Mom (http://typeamom.com) and Green Lite Bites (http://greenlitebites.com/) Do you maintain any other blogs or Twitter feeds? Yes. My personal Twitter account is @LEWatrous. I also run my business blog at: http://lucindauncensored.com.
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
Sarah Pinnix
RealLife (reallifeblog.net) — “Life isn’t perfect, and neither am I.” On Twitter: @RealLifeSarah What do you write most about? I try to share tips, tricks and inspiration. Wednesdays I share a photo with an inspiring Scripture. Other days may feature tips for saving money, a great recipe, anything from my life that could possibly help someone else. Is there something you won’t post? I will not post negative content about my husband, extended family or specific friends! I like to keep the tone positive, and I believe that my blog is not the place to vent about specific personal relationships. If we work through a problem that I think will help others, I may write about it in generally with solutions in mind. How did you get into blogging or tweeting? I started my first blog in 2007 as a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to write and to connect with others while being at home with my children. I absolutely fell in love with the community created on blogs. Now that they are all in school, I’ve taken it to the next level, founding a local e-zine for moms and coaching businesses on how to use social media. I also host a live-stream web show on MomTV.com, called the Mom Blog Buzz. Have your kids ever asked you to blog about something? My middle child loves it when I write about her, and she loves to appear in videos and photos. My eldest child, however, is more introverted and asks me not to blog about her without her permission. Favorite blogs or people you follow on Twitter? I love reading my fellow N.C. bloggers, like Andrea at Lil Kid Things (lilkidthings.com), Fadra at All Things Fadra (allthingsfadra.com), Jessica at The B Keeps Us Honest (http:// thebkeepsushonest.blogspot.com/), Amy at A Million Boxes (amillionboxes.com), Molly at GOMOMinc.com organizing blog. There are SO many more! Do you maintain any other blogs or Twitter feeds? I publish the High Country Mom Squad, a blog/ online magazine in the northwest N.C. mountains at highcountrymomsquad.com.
Continues on Page 24 23
Moms online Continued from Page 23
Robin Plemmons
Balls to the Wall Y’all (ballstothewallyall.com) I am a whimsical artist and mom living in Asheville. I am fueled by humor, creativity and cake. “Balls to the wall” is my motto. On Twitter: @robinplemmons Do you prefer Facebook or Twitter (or blogging)? I’m a social media junkie so I like them all. What do you write most about? Poop and farting. OK, not really but I do enjoy the occasional post about dirty diapers or inappropriate flatulence. I write about my daughter Ruby. I write about the funny moments and the crying moments and the heart-swelling moments. How did you get into blogging or tweeting? Peer pressure and a lack of a filter. Favorite blogs or people you follow on Twitter? For eye candy I go to abeautifulmess.typepad.com and decor8blog.com. For comedic relief I click on listoftheday.blogspot.com, sassycurmudgeon.com and peopleofwalmart.com. For all of the above, plus transparent tales of motherhood, I go to the internet’s favorite, dooce.com. Some of my preferred tweeters are: @alotofnothing, @Etsy, @michaelianblack and @GreenEnough4Me, because she was the first to respond when I sent out this tweet: “I’m having a hard time narrowing down my favorite tweeters. 1st person to reply wins. Readyyy, go!” Do you maintain any other blogs or Twitter feeds? Just for fun, I started a Twitter page for Ruby when she was a infant (@littlebabyruby). I have a secret one for my husband where I post things he says, similar to the popular @sh*tmydadsays, but he’s less crotchety and more of a foulmouthed good ol’ boy.
24
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Laura Baylor
Mindful Makeover (mindful makeover.com) — “Inspiring and empowering Moms to make healthy choices for themselves and their families.” On Twitter: @mindfulmom What do you write most about? Wellness topics including, finding time to exercise, tips for dealing with stress and progress towards my own fitness goals. Right now my sister (we blog together) is blogging about getting ready for her first marathon in December. Is there something you won’t post? I don’t post much about my family. I mainly focus on my experiences with exercise, nutrition and stress as it relates to personal challenges and successes. How did you get into blogging or tweeting? After writing the book “Mindful Makeover for Moms” with my sister Martha Maxwell, we started blogging. Our goal is to build a supportive community of wellnessminded moms. Has your child ever asked you to blog about something? No, she’s only 3. Favorite blogs or people you follow on Twitter? MizFit Online, Type-A Mom, Green Lite Bites, Mom Talk Radio.
FIND WNC PARENT ONLINE ◆ Visit us at WNCParent.com — home to forums, photos and conversations. ◆ Follow us on Twitter — @wncparent or Twitter.com/wncparent ◆ Like us on Facebook — facebook.com/ wncparent
MORE QUESTIONS ONLINE
◆ Learn more about these local bloggers at wncparent.com.
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
25
Toddlers
at play In new home, city’s Tiny Tykes program lets kids be kids
By Mike McWilliams Citizen-Times contributor For most parents, the Tiny Tykes program is a cheap, fun way to interact with their children. That’s also true for Anne Johnston. But after doctors diagnosed her son, Ben, with autism, its value turned out to be priceless. “When we were going through the diagnoses, everything is costly and confusing,” said Johnston, who lives in East Asheville. “But it was a (low-cost) place to take him, and I would often bring some of his therapists to watch him socially interact with his peers. It was amazing, and I encourage anyone with kids with any special needs to participate because it’s very welcoming.” Ben, now 4, doesn’t go to Tiny Tykes anymore, but his little sister does. Saylor, who’s 2, was one of about a dozen children who attended the Tiny Tykes Toddler Program’s first day at its new home in the Stephens-Lee Center earlier this month.
Playing and learning Tiny Tykes, an Asheville Parks and Recreation program, has been around for roughly five years, and until this year, it took place at the East Asheville Recreation Center. Parents and their children gather for two hours Wednesday and Friday mornings at StephensLee to make crafts, play games and participate in other educational activities, said Jessica Johnston, assistant director of Tiny Tykes.
26
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
PHOTOS BY JOHN FLETCHER
Aleece Hiller and her son, Isaac, work on a puzzle during the Tiny Tykes Toddler Program.
IF YOU GO
Toddlers, from left, Isaac Boyer, Ford Daniels and Rilyn Boueres play under a parachute as part of the city’s Tiny Tykes program, newly housed at the Stephens Lee Center in Asheville. “We just try to offer a good opportunity at a very low cost,” Johnston said. “I know in Asheville there are a lot of parttime or stay-at-home parents, and they need to do something with their kids.” Classes are $1 a day, or $20 per session, which runs October-December and January-May. Children ages 5 and younger are welcome, and 15-40 people typically show up, Johnston said. Tiny Tykes is not a day care, where parents can drop off their children and leave, nor is it preschool. One of the main tenets of Tiny Tykes is to foster playing and bonding between parents and their child, and to have fun, Johnston said. Some activities are theme-based, including games that involve colors or shape identification, Johnston said. “A lot of parents, from what I’ve no-
ticed, in Asheville are very hands-on parents, and they like to be involved and have a hand in raising their kids,” Johnston said. “I think ours is a different niche. We do as much education as we can, but there is a lot of play, and we have a good time.”
‘A safe space’ The move from East Asheville to Stephens-Lee meant more space for games, including a gymnasium. It’s large enough to house parachute games. Aleece Hiller, who brought her 2year-old son Isaac to Tiny Tykes recently, said it’s important to interact with your child in a positive space, with lots of activities to choose from. Hiller and Isaac spent part of the time putting together a puzzle of a puppy. Hiller used to bring her other son,
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
What: Tiny Tykes Toddler Program. When: 10 a.m.-noon Wednesdays and Fridays, October-December and JanuaryMay. Where: Stephens-Lee Center, 30 George Washington Carver St. Admission: Classes cost $1 per class, or $20 per two-month session. For more information: Call 251-4041.
Levi, to Tiny Tykes; he’s now in kindergarten. “I think it’s really important that the city support this,” Hiller, of Asheville, said. “It’s great that they provide this: a safe space for parents and children to meet.” Kelly Conley, of Asheville, learned about Tiny Tykes from a friend. She said the program is a good alternative to playing outside with her sons, Oliver, 13 months, and Josiah, 2, especially as the weather turns cool. Being able to play and interact with her children is important, Conley said. “I’m just so glad I’m able to stay home with my kids and witness all of these fond memories,” Conley said. “Especially with (Josiah), he’s starting to talk and tell me stories. It’s like we’re playing together. It’s starting to be a lot of fun.”
27
28
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
librarian’s pick
Latest Jack tale takes the cake
Jennifer Prince Buncombe County Public Libraries With a rich, lively history stemming from England and Appalachia, Jack tales are timeless storytelling favorites. Jack tales consist of country boy, Jack, who is kind, but poor. People and animals try to take advantage of him, but usually through luck, Jack triumphs. In this newest homage to the Jack tale genre, author Candace Fleming and illustrator G. Brian Karas combine their talents in the original “Clever Jack Takes the Cake.” What is a poor boy to do about a gift when he is invited to a princess’ birthday party? With a storyteller’s gift for vivid, lyrical language, Fleming describes Jack’s
plight: The boy thought a moment. “Then I will make her something,” he declared. “I will make her a cake.” “From what?” asked his mother. “From the dust in the cupboard? From the dirt on the floor?” A little bartering and bribing of the farm animals provides Jack with the ingredients he needs to make the cake. What a cake it is! Every sweet, beautiful ounce of it is a result of Jack’s efforts. Having spruced himself up for the special occasion, Jack sets off with cake in hand to the princess’ birthday party. This being a Jack story, the journey is sure to not go smoothly. Children will delight in Jack’s clever solution. It is
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
AREA STORY TIMES Visit wncparent.com for a list of area story times in November. simple, effective, and memorable. Best of all, he and the princess become fast friends. At a glance, Karas’ gouache and pencil illustrations have the appearance of being done by a child. Jack and the other characters are only slightly more fleshed out than stick figures. Jack’s hair consists of scribbles. A closer viewing of the illustrations, however, reveals Karas’ true artistry. His attention to detail is keen, from the finely drawn blue-black feathers on the crows, to the ghostly wisps of wind that curl around the trees in the forest. The mild suspense, subtle humor and ingenious happy ending make “Clever Jack Takes the Cake” a great read-aloud to share with elementary-age children. Look for this book in the Buncombe County Public Libraries. Visit www.buncombecounty.org for more information.
29
home-school happenings
Why we home-school
By Nicole McKeon WNC Parent columnist
Recently, I went to a book sale at a local library. While waiting in line, I started talking with the folks who were in line near me. They asked me about my business, and I explained to them that I own a home-school book store. This led to me explaining to them that we are a homeschooling family. One of the women asked me, “Why do you home-school? What was wrong with school?” I wasn’t exactly prepared for this question. I mean, I know why school
30
didn’t work for our family, but she was asking a bigger question. In fact, she went on to ask me, “What should we do about our schools? I mean, not everyone can home-school.” She was pretty assertive and really wanted an answer. She had also been an educator for 30 years and worked with many home-schooled kids who she felt were “wonderful.” Before I could totally formulate my answer, another, older lady piped up and said, “You know, I got my Ph.D in the 1940s, and back then education was a totally different proposition.” I wasn’t exactly sure where she was going with her comment, but I was glad she chimed in because I was still trying to figure out what to say to the first lady! The second lady proceeded to explain
that she felt that education as a college major had destroyed our schools. She felt that it cultivated a culture of “jack of all trades, master of none.” By the time she finished her explanation, I got where she was going. She felt that for people to be really good teachers, it helps for them to have a mastery and love of the subject they are teaching. I finally felt ready to pipe in. First, I explained to the original questioner that we home-school for a variety of reasons. Our experience in school (our daughter attended three different schools before coming home for school) was less than stellar. We experienced what we all know exists: overcrowded classrooms, apathetic teachers, mean kids and worst of all, teaching to the test. In the midst of all that, we also were lucky to experience
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
some very kind and talented teachers, who were constricted by ridiculous regulations and rules that prevented them from using their common sense and intelligence to teach the children in their classes to love learning. So, why do we home-school? Not because we hate school. But, because we feel the system as it stands is broken and definitely did not work for our child. Does that mean it doesn’t work for every child? No. There are plenty of kids who do just fine in school. My husband and I both went through public school. However, we fully agree that the public school of the 1950s or even 1970s was a totally different creature than what we have today. Back then, we had a large majority of two-parent homes and stayat-home moms. It made a difference. No matter how you feel about it, those are the facts. The second part of the first lady’s question was, What can we do, not everyone can home-school? It’s true. Not everyone can home-school. Not everyone should home-school. But, I think schools can learn a thing or two from the
home-schooling movement. What is it that families are searching for, when they make the decision to bring their kids home (or never send them in the first place)? Here’s a list: safety, love of learning, enthusiasm, experiential learning, learning that is geared toward the individual, intimate settings, history (most home-schoolers believe in the importance of history and teach their children lots and lots of history, which I
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
believe the schools have basically erased, or have politically corrected to the point of nonsense), music, art, creativity… I could go on and on. The main thing is that learning can’t be force fed. It ceases to be learning when it becomes memorization and regurgitation. Kids learn best, as most home-schoolers can tell you, when they are interested in what they are studying. When we began to equate education with passing specified, state mandated tests, we lost the essential ingredient to learning well, passion. The truth is, I don’t know the answer. But, I can tell you this, at the rate home schooling is growing, maybe the public schools should start taking a look at what we’re doing right, instead of what they are doing wrong. I am certain that there are answers that could work for all different kinds of families. Nicole McKeon is a home-schooling mom and owner of Homeschool Station, a new/used home-school curriculum store in Fairview. She can be reached at homeschoolstation@hotmail.com.
31
32
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
33
the artful parent
Get crafty with fall leaves By Jean Van’t Hul WNC Parent columnist
As the weather turns colder and foliage changes color, we head indoors to spend time together as a family, often making crafts to celebrate the holidays. This Thanksgiving, think beyond the paper-hand turkey and the pilgrim hat, and instead use nature’s bounty for your crafting. There is so much you can make with leaves alone, including nature collages, leaf people, contact paper suncatchers, leaf rubbings, leaf mobiles, leaf prints, and wreaths. Just think what you could make when you add in acorns, pinecones, seedpods, dried grasses, gourds, berries, and cornhusks! Happy crafting!
Thanksgiving leaf banner Thanksgiving is a time for family to enjoy the bounty of autumn together. What better way than to create an easy family banner using the leaves of the season? This banner is inspired by one made by a fellow crafty blogger, Lindsey from Filth Wizardry (filthwizardry.com). You’ll need: ◆ A long sheet of paper, such as easel paper or butcher paper. Alternatively, use several smaller pieces of paper and connect them with tape or glue ◆ An assortment of leaves, ideally collected as a family ◆ Crayons, with the paper removed (dark colors such as red, brown, and black work best) ◆ Watercolor paint (light colors such as yellow and orange work best) ◆ Masking tape
34
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Directions: 1. Arrange your leaves on a hard surface such as a table or floor, vein side up, to form a word such as “FAMILY,” “THANKS” or “AUTUMN.” Tape them down if desired. 2. Lay your sheet of paper on top of the leaves, taping the corners to hold it in place. 3. Use the side (not the point) of the dark crayons to rub evenly all over the paper, exposing the leaf design below. Use several different colors of crayon. 4. After doing the leaf rubbings, paint over the entire banner with watercolor paint. This will create a watercolor resist. For the best result, use liquid watercolors or watercolor paint from tubes mixed with water. Watercolor cakes in tins will work OK, but painting will take longer and produce less intense colors. Note: If you want your banner word to really stand out, paint the leaf letters with a color that contrasts with the background – perhaps yellow for the letters and red for the background. 5. Let dry. 6. Hang your Thanksgiving banner above your dining table or another central family location. Variations: ◆ Rather than arranging the leaves to form a word, you can spread them out randomly. ◆ Rub vegetable oil over the back of your banner and hang
1
3
4
6
it in a window for a beautiful stained-glass effect (the oil makes the paper translucent).
Leaf people
Use different colors, shapes, and sizes of leaves to fashion fun people and faces. You’ll need: ◆ Leaves ◆ Glue ◆ Construction paper Directions: 1. Take a walk around your yard or neighborhood to collect a variety of leaves. You can use them as is, or press them for a few days between the pages of a telephone book first (pressed leaves will last longer). 2. Arrange your leaves on a sheet of construction paper to form a face or a person. For example, you can use a large, roundish leaf for a face with two smaller leaves for eyes and a fern or a series of leaves or petals for the mouth. Add more leaves for nose, ears, hair, anything! 3. Glue your leaf person to the paper, or just enjoy the experience of rearranging the leaves to make new leaf people. Variation: ◆ Sandwich your leaf person between two sheets of contact paper and hang in the window as a suncatcher. Jean Van’t Hul blogs about children’s art and creativity at The Artful Parent (artfulparent.typepad.com). She welcomes comments and suggestions via e-mail at jevanthul@yahoo.com.
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
35
MAKE A NEW MEAL FROM
Thanksgiving’s bounty Gannett News Service
The Thanksgiving feast is something everyone remembers. But after three days of leftovers, it’s a meal you’d rather forget. If you normally pitch piles of food, this year don’t waste a scrap. You can freeze pies, revamp sweet potatoes and use leftover cranberry sauce in a variety of ways. Here are some ideas for using holiday leftovers.
◆ Mix two parts cream cheese with one part cranberry sauce and spread it on a bagel or use it to stuff French toast. Or use a thin layer of cranberry sauce in a baked brie recipe. ◆ Heat cranberry sauce with barbecue sauce (to taste) and use it as a glaze for chicken or pork. ◆ Puree traditional leftover sweet potatoes and mix with pumpkin pie spice,
36
to taste. Spread the mixture on toast, top with a handful of pecans and you’ve got breakfast. ◆ Turn leftover stuffing into crab cakes. Mix 1 cup stuffing with one egg, one (6-ounce) can crab meat, drained, 1 tablespoon finely chopped red bell pepper, 1 tablespoon mayonnaise and a sprinkle of Old Bay Seasoning (how much you add depends on how salty
your stuffing is). Form the mixture into patties and then either pan-fry them in butter or bake at 375 degrees for 12-15 minutes. Serve with horseradish sauce. ◆ Mix 1 cup stuffing with 4 ounces cream cheese and stuff into 2-3 portabella mushrooms. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons butter, sprinkle with your choice of cheese and bake for 15 minutes in a 375-degree oven. (This recipe will not
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
work if you add apples, nuts or dried fruit to your stuffing, but it’s excellent with plain or sausage stuffing). ◆ Have an extra pecan pie or fruit pie? Wrap it twice in plastic wrap, then wrap in foil and freeze the whole pie until your next holiday. ◆ Have leftover rolls? Those slightly sweet rolls are perfect for making bread pudding. ◆ If you plan to make turkey noodle soup, stir in 1/2 cup gravy to enhance the stock. ◆ Freeze excess gravy in a plastic baggie or container. When you reheat it, you will need to thicken it with 1-2 tablespoons of cornstarch. ◆ Have leftover corn? Drain it and add 1/2 cup corn to 2 cups of your favorite salsa. Add 1 teaspoon cumin seed, salt to taste, and you have a quick corn salsa.
◆ If that leftover bird starts to get dry before you can eat it all, turn it into turkey enchiladas. Shred turkey, add a can of green enchilada sauce, roll up in corn tortillas, top with shredded cheese and bake at 375 for 15 minutes. The Thanksgiving meal may be over, but the feasts have just begun.
Sweet potato bars Maple syrup extract will be in the baking section of your grocery store, usually next to the vanilla extract. For the crust: 1 yellow cake mix 1 stick unsalted butter 1 egg For the filling: 1 1/2 cups mashed sweet potato 1 teaspoon cinnamon (use half this amount if you already have cinnamon in your sweet potatoes) 4 ounces whipped cream cheese 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 teaspoon maple flavor extract 2 eggs 2 tablespoons milk 1/2 cup chopped pecans Preheat oven to 350 degrees. For crust: Melt one stick of butter and use a wooden spoon to mix butter with cake mix and egg. When combined, pat mixture into 13-inch-by-9-inch nonstick rectangular cake pan. For the mixture: Use a slotted spoon to
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
scoop sweet potatoes out of marshmallow or butter mixture. Mash with a fork. In a large bowl, use an electric mixer to beat sweet potato, cinnamon, whipped cream cheese, sugar, maple flavor extract, eggs and milk. When smooth, pour over the crust. Top with chopped pecans. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes until the top looks set. Cool and serve. Serves 12-16.
37
38
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
39
40
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
41
kids’ voices
Thanksgiving’s best foods When it comes to the bounty of platters and serving bowls gracing the Thanksgiving dinner table, everyone has a favorite, whether it’s the roasted turkey or the gooey apple pie. We asked students in the fourth-grade classes of DeLana Crabb and Kelley Edmonds at Barnardsville Elementary School to describe the Thanksgiving foods they treasure the most. Here’s what they told staff writer Barbara Blake.
42
“I like the hot baked beans that have zestful hot peppers and the sweet onions scooped off onto the spicy hot beans on my soft, tender, foamy plate, on the firm, hollow wooden table in my big, bright yellow and white kitchen.” Bethany Crowder, age 10
“My mom’s pumpkin pie is the best. It has a kind of spicy, autumnish taste about it. Once, I tried store-bought pumpkin pie, and because I’m so used to my mom’s exquisite homemade pie, it tasted absolutely disgusting. Every Thanksgiving, no matter how stuffed I am, I always have room for a good-sized slice of my mother’s homemade pumpkin pie.” Thea Talamhan, age 9
“My favorite thing is the turkey and mashed potatoes, and for dessert, the best thing in the world is chocolate cream pie and pumpkin pie – it is the best. But the best thing is being with my family.” Savanna Harwood, age 9
“My favorite Thanksgiving meal is the turkey, for its exquisite and quite famishing smell and taste. In my opinion, it is like eating absolute heaven. My favorite side item is the 5-star-rated broccoli casserole. It is the star pupil of all side items. It is at its best when it has cheese.” Gus Morrow, age 9
“My favorite Thanksgiving dinner dish is apple pie. The delicious part about it is the tasty apples and the warm and gooey filling and the really hot crust. And when I take a big bite, everything inside me warms up.” Andrew Barlow, age 9
“My favorite Thanksgiving foods are turkey, creamy mashed potatoes, some delicious creamed corn and yummy green beans, and homemade biscuits and mouthwatering pumpkin pie, blueberry pie, peach pie, raspberry pie, apple pie and, of course, cherry pie.” Matthew Bossinger, age 9
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
TRADITIONS OF THANKS
By Lockie Hunter WNC Parent contributor
hosts Thanksgiving at her house. “It’s the one holiday that I hold onto dearly and won’t give up, even when the ‘airline and weather gods’ try to throw obstacles in our guests’ paths,” she says. Caskey says guests include her brother-in-law Jamie and his yearly rotating girlfriend. “We’d like to think that Jamie comes back each year to visit the family he sees all too infrequently, but I know the true reason. Jamie is madly in love with ... my mashed potatoes and squash casserole,” she adds.
The mountains of Western North Carolina are home to a variety of people, cultures and traditions. Thanksgiving is a time to gather and celebrate with food and family and showcase those traditions. Asheville’s Tracy Trout knows that each year Thanksgiving may bring new friends and family members to the table, and perhaps a new dish or tradition will be created. “At the end of the day, with our plates empty and our bellies full, we continue the tradition of giving thanks for a day well spent with the ones we love,” Trout says.
Honoring heritage SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT
Family and feast
Stacey and Brian Caskey enjoy a post Thanksgiving hike with daughter Allison.
“We spend each Thanksgiving in Charlotte with Grandmother, Papa and lots of other family,” notes Asheville’s Kristie Puster. “As we travel, our girls, Katherine and Julia, sing ‘Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go.’” Weaverville’s Michelle Seeger celebrates with her mom and dad as well. “We start the meal with a prayer, often said by one of the youngest grandchildren. It is definitely a Thanksgiving ritual,” says Seeger, who always gets the
task of stuffing the turkey. “Our Thanksgiving dinner is traditional,” adds Seeger. “My mother is Italian so until she moved to America in the ’60s she was not familiar with the Thanksgiving tradition. My grandfather was an awesome cook, and he taught her how to make turkey with homemade stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, fresh rolls, green beans and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.” Stacey Caskey, of Asheville, always
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
“Salam alaikm” is the greeting at the door when Asheville’s John Bowers celebrates Thanksgiving with his Southern family and his wife’s Egyptian family. “Alaikim salam,” is the response. In the kitchen he sees traditional Thanksgiving fare — turkey, dressing, rice, cranberries, vegetables. Beside the dressing simmers a potful of mashi; in the dessert lineup, stacks of baklava teeter on the tray. “In the Carolina hills where I grew up, mashi and baklava weren’t at the Thanksgiving table,” Bowers notes. “But there’s no doubt it’s comfort food — the food of home.” As a Dutch girl, Liesbeth Mackie’s first introduction to Thanksgiving tradi-
43
tions was cooking with the New Orleans family she married into. Mackie’s in-laws are both amazing cooks, she says, using recipes that were handed down to her mother-in-law from many generations ago on the plantation where she was raised. “The joke in the family is that these recipes are ‘very complicated’ and it’s a matter of honor not to take any short cuts,” Mackie says. “The sweet potato puree must be served in fresh, halved oranges, hollowed out by hand. On top of that every orange must be fluted. One must also make sure all the white rind is removed.” One year, Tom Mackie really followed his roots. When it was time for his mother to carry the turkey to the table he “piped that turkey in,” an old Scottish custom, albeit normally performed for haggis (a traditional Scottish food). The event was particularly poignant; Tom Mackie’s father got tears in his eyes because he was so moved. He kept asking “Who is playing the pipes? Who is playing the pipes?” He hadn’t recognized his son in his kilts. The next year, Mackie’s father passed away of Alzheimer’s.
44
SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT
The Mackie family’s Thanksgiving feast includes recipes passed down through the generations. The children get involved in setting the table. Pia Mackie and friend Jesse churned out individual funky "hand turkey" place cards one Thanksgiving.
Post-feast activities Jill Clark’s husband, Keith, always works the day after Thanksgiving, and so the kids and Jill put up their Christmas tree that day. The day after Thanksgiving usually requires a hike for the Caskey family. “We all feel so stuffed from the day
before that we are itching to get out on some sort of hiking/walking adventure,” Caskey says, “and we usually have great weather and dynamic scenery to burn off those extra calories!” The Seeger family also often walks around the neighborhood afterward. “Those lucky enough to not get roped into doing dishes can be found asleep on the couch,” notes Seeger. Puster’s family briefly considers joining the post-holiday shopping crowds. “Then, we spend the rest of the day laughing about how there is no way we are motivated enough to stay up late, get up early, or brave the crowds to do any shopping!” she says.
Giving thanks Regardless of varying traditions it seems that Thanksgiving is a time to truly give thanks. “At Thanksgiving the parallels between my Southern family and my wife’s Egyptian family ring true,” adds Bowers. “You have the food pushers, the family gossip, the closeness, the catching up, the caring — and the gratitude.”
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
45
GANNETT PHOTO
Medical experts recommend that adolescents receive the meningococcal vaccine to protect them from bacterial meningitis, among other vaccines.
Keeping children healthy
Vaccinations for infants, teens alike keep diseases away By Mike McWilliams WNC Parent correspondent Tetanus, polio, chickenpox, pertussis. Before your child even sets foot in a classroom, he must be vaccinated against these and about 10 other diseases. And just when you — or your kids — thought you were done, about six years later, a round of booster shots is required, with a handful of other vaccines recommended. Although it might seem like a lot, health officials say it’s a small price to pay to ensure your child’s health, and to help dormant diseases from making a comeback. Health officials, like Dr. Cynthia Yancey, Buncombe County Health
46
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Center medical director, said failure to vaccinate children could mean a drop in herd immunity, the theory that when most people in a community are immunized, the most vulnerable are protected. “But if a good number of the community is not immunized for whatever reason … then that herd immunity really wanes and we get outbreaks, and that’s what we think we’re seeing right now,” Yancey said. Whooping cough, also known as pertussis, has made a deadly comeback in recent months across the nation, and Buncombe County hasn’t been excluded. From Aug. 1 until early October, there were 31 reported cases, Yancey said. There typically is only one pertussis case every few months.
For the older crowd A pertussis, tetanus, diphtheria booster shot is required for students entering sixth grade. Meningococcal, HPV, Hepatitis A, flu and a second dose of varicella are recommended. Dr. Victoria Morehouse, a pediatrician at Asheville Medicine & Pediatrics, said she definitely recommends parents get their child the meningococcal vaccination. Meningitis is a disease caused by the inflammation of the protective membranes covering the brain and spinal cord known as the meninges, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Meningitis is characterized by a sudden onset of fever, headache and stiff neck. It is often accompanied by other symptoms, such as nausea, vomiting, sensitivity to light and altered mental status. “In terms of preventing devastating things, I would say meningitis is way more important than any of the others,” said Morehouse. “Meningitis is really, really bad, so I think it’s an important vaccine in terms of, if we can prevent one bad thing from happening to a person, it’s a good idea.” The risk of contracting meningitis is increased among crowded living situations, Morehouse said, which is why colleges require students who live in dormitories to be vaccinated. Morehouse said she also recommends the HPV vaccine. HPV, or Human Continues on Page 48
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
47
Continued from Page 47
REQUIRED AND RECOMMENDED IMMUNIZATIONS
Papillomavirus, is the most common sexually transmitted disease, which can cause cervical cancer in women and genital warts. The HPV vaccine, Morehouse said, is highly effective, though it’s administered in a three-shot series. “Unfortunately, this disease is everywhere and any woman who is sexually active will have been exposed to this disease,” she said. “For females, I feel like if you can prevent an outcome from exposure you know you’re going to have, it makes a lot of sense.” There is also a vaccine for hepatitis A, which is common but does not have the
48
Kindergarten: DTaP (diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis), polio, Hib (haemophilus influenzae type B), MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) hepatitis B and varicella (chickenpox) are required. Pneumococcal, hepatitis A, flu and a second dose of varicella are recommended. Sixth grade: A booster dose of Tdap (tetanus, diphtheria, acellular pertussis) is required if five years or more have passed since the last dose of tetanus-containing vaccine. Meningococcal, HPV (human papillomavirus), hepatitis A, flu and a varicella booster are recommended. College: TDaP, polio, and MMR are required. Some colleges also require meningococcal vaccine. HPV, hepatitis A,
chronic effects of hepatitis B or C, Morehouse said. Hepatitis A is a bigger concern in countries where sanitation is an issue, or if travel to a third world country
hepatitis B, flu, and a second dose of varicella are recommended. Vaccines for Children To qualify for the federally funded Vaccines for Children program, which provides vaccines for eligible children through age 18, children must be Medicaid eligible, American Indian or Alaskan Native, or uninsured. Uninsured can mean without insurance or it can mean a child has health insurance, but it doesn’t cover any or certain vaccines or it has a fixed dollar limit or cap for vaccines. The Buncombe County Department of Health offers vaccines for children 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Friday at the health department, 35 Woodfin St. Call 250-5096. For more information, visit immunizenc.com.
is planned.
Exemptions from shots Buncombe County also has the highest rate in the state for exemptions to North Carolina’s immunization law. About 4 percent of children entering kindergarten last school year here have been exempted from vaccinations based on religious or medical grounds. The state exemption average for the 2009-10 school year was less than 1 percent. The state makes an ongoing effort to educate parents about the need for timely vaccinations, said Amy Caruso, a spokeswoman for the state’s immunization branch. “Oftentimes, parents simply need a reminder to bring their child in for immunizations,” she said. Vaccinations are important because the diseases they prevent are real and sometimes deadly, Caruso said. International airline travel makes it easy for diseases, including ones that aren’t widespread in the United States, to spread. “Vaccines are the safest, most effective ways to stop the spread of certain communicable diseases,” Caruso said. “And while no medicine is 100 percent risk free for all people, the risk of harm from vaccines is far outweighed by the risk of harm from the diseases vaccines prevent.”
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Kids page
Word search
Maze
April Fools’ Day Boxing Day Canada Day Carnival Cinco de Mayo Columbus Day
Easter Father’s Day Fourth of July Groundhog Day Halloween Hanukkah Labor Day Memorial Day
Mother’s Day Presidents’ Day Saint Patrick’s Day Thanksgiving Valentine’s Day Veterans Day Yom Kippur
Coloring
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
49
Across
1. Geological rift 6. Shel Silverstein’s poem “___ Constrictor” 9. Top ground? 13. Plural of lepton 14. Like TV’s Randall/ Klugman couple 15. Heroine of Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Snow Queen” 16. Variant spelling of emir 17. Hawaiian necklace 18. Reconnaissance, for short 19. Sea creature who fell in love with a human prince 21. Color of City of Oz 23. Dim ___ 24. Hard animal fat around kidneys 25. School ride 28. Pub arrow 30. Relating to nervous system 35. Popular children’s author ____ Blyton 37. Landon Donovan’s target 39. Large, treeless plain 40. Teen skin problem 41. Twig of willow tree 43. Number of judges on Supreme Court 44. Civil rights organization
46. Competitive advantage 47. Black tropical cuckoo birds 48. Like dragon’s tail 50. Part of ear 52. An affirmative 53. Confront 55. Before 57. He faced 40 Thieves 61. “Arabian Nights” famous character 65. Stocking fiber
66. Jodie Foster’s ’08 movie “___’s Island” 68. A strainer 69. George or T.S., e.g. 70. Pigeon sound 71. Great brilliance, as in a performance 72. Deprive of mother’s milk 73. Exclamation of disgust 74. Spell
Down
1. Chowder ingredient 2. Organic pigment containing iron 3. Imitator 4. Wine glass part, pl. 5. Raid 6. Word processing command denoted with aB 7. “___ to Joy” 8. Farewell in France 9. Prof. Trelawney’s role in the Harry Potter
series 10. Sea World’s favorite type of inhabitants 11. Lee DeWyze, e.g. 12. “Long ago, in a ____ far, far away...” 15. Hansel’s sister 20. Idealized image 22. ’80s band “___ At Work” 24. In a grave manner 25. What Jack grew on a stalk 26. Pop a beer bottle, e.g. 27. Moses’ mountain 29. Beast’s most precious possession 31. Longer bone in forearm 32. Save something for this day? 33. She was a “little orphan” 34. Clay and silt deposit 36. 52 cards 38. Toy building
block 42. Star Wars’ _____ alliance 45. One who pays too much attention to formal rules 49. Short for debutante 51. Wipes out or deletes 54. Potential classic “_____ Nancy” 56. Authoritative proclamation 57. Afresh 58. City-dwelling crocodile 59. Hipbone 60. Fairytale romance publishers Mills & ____ 61. Wildly 62. Sandwich shop 63. Popular name in Russian fairytale 64. Remaining after all deductions, alternate spelling 67. You owe who?
Find solutions on Page 63 50
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Parades
Holiday happenings
Marion: 3 p.m. Nov. 21 Franklin: 3 p.m. Nov. 28 Hendersonville: 10:30 a.m. Dec. 4 Highlands: 11 a.m. Dec. 4. Weaverville: 1 p.m. Dec. 4 Bryson City: 2 p.m. Dec. 4 Brevard: 3 p.m. Dec. 4 Black Mountain: 4 p.m. Dec. 4 Maggie Valley: 6 p.m. Dec. 4 Sylva: 3:30 p.m. Dec. 4. Weaverville: 1 p.m. Dec. 4 Waynesville: 6 p.m. Dec. 6. Tryon: 5 p.m. Dec. 8 Fletcher: 10:30 a.m. Dec. 11 Marshall: 11 a.m. Dec. 11 Cherokee: 5:30 p.m. Dec. 11
Events throughout the season Nov. 1-Dec. 27
CarePartners Festival of Trees: Asheville Mall hosts the CarePartners Festival of Trees and Memorial Trees Garden outside Dillard’s Men’s Store and Hallmark. Ornaments can be purchased in honor or in memory
of a loved one, with proceeds going to CarePartners Hospice. Call 277-4815 for details on ornaments.
Nov. 5-Dec. 23
‘The Polar Express’: Read along with the story “The Polar Express” and enjoy a trip on Great Smoky Mountains Railroad. Meet Santa, enjoy caroling, hot cocoa and a treat. Times and dates vary. Tickets start at $39 for adults and $26 for children (ages 2-12). Visit gsmr.com or call 800-872-4681.
Nov. 5-Jan. 2
Christmas at Biltmore: Candlelight Christmas Evenings run Nov. 12-Jan. 1. Candlelight evenings are available by timed entry only and include a selfguided tour of the house, next-day visit to the gardens and the winery. Visit biltmore.com.
Nov. 15-Jan. 2
National Gingerbread House Competition: The Grove Park Inn Resort and Spa hosts its 18th Annual National Gingerbread House Competition this year. Judging is Nov. 15, with a 5 p.m. awards presentation that is free and open to the public. Community viewing is Nov. 17-Jan. 2, Monday-Thursday only. At 290 Macon Ave., Asheville. 800-438-0050, ext. 1281.
Continues on Page 52
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT
Christmas at Biltmore kicks off on Nov. 5.
51
Holiday happenings Continued from Page 51
Holiday events and performances Nov. 19
Asheville Lyric Opera Christmas concert: Hear music of the season performed by the Asheville Lyric Opera at 7:30 p.m. at Diana Wortham Theatre. Concert benefits ABCCM. All children may visit with Santa before the concert to present a gift for ABCCM. Call 257-4530 for tickets. Biltmore Park holiday lighting: 6-8 p.m. on Town Square Boulevard, South Asheville, with Santa, refreshments and more. Visit biltmorepark.com.
Nov. 20
Asheville Holiday Parade: The 64th annual parade steps off at 11 a.m. on Charlotte Street near Biltmore Avenue, turns up Biltmore, turns left on Patton Avenue and ends at Patton and French Broad Avenue. Visit AshevilleParade.org.
Nov. 26
Hendersonville Downtown Lighting Celebration: 5:30-6:30 p.m. at the gazebo between Fourth and Fifth avenues. With carols, Santa and more. Call 697-2022.
Nov. 26-Dec. 4
‘It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play’: N.C. Stage Company presents an adaption of Frank Capra’s Christmas story at its auditorium, 15 Stage Lane, Asheville. Visit ncstage.org.
Nov. 27
Ole Timey Christmas: Henderson County Curb Market features wreaths, fresh greenery, crafts, music, carriage rides and refreshments. From 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at 221 N. Church St., Hendersonville. Visit curbmarket.com.
Dec. 1
Sylva tree lighting: With holiday open house, 6-9 p.m.
Dec. 1-23
‘A Christmas Carol’: Flat Rock Playhouse presents a re-imagined version of the Charles Dickens classic “A Christmas Carol.” All ages. Performances at 8 p.m. Wednesdays-Saturdays and 2 p.m. Thursdays and Sundays. Visit flatrockplayhouse.org or call 6930731. At 2551 Greenville Highway, Flat Rock.
Dec. 2-6
Carolina Mountain Christmas Spectacular: Biltmore Baptist Church’s annual production. Visit ncchristmas.com. At 35 Clayton Road, Arden. For information, visit biltmorebaptist.org or call 6871111.
Dec. 3
Fletcher tree lighting: 5:30 p.m. at Fletcher Community Park. Free, with nonperishable food donation suggested. Visit fletcherparks.org. Holly Jolly: Enjoy a Christmas celebration in downtown Black Mountain with refreshments, street music, Santa and more. Shops will be open late. Free. See visitblackmountain.org.
52
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
PHOTO BY JOHN FLETCHER
Members of The Asheville Center of Performing Arts perform during the Asheville Holiday Parade. This year’s parade is Nov. 20. Contemporary Dance Theatre presents a ballet based on the original story from 1816 by E.T.A. Hoffmann. A Christmas story full of adventure that answers the questions “Where does the Nutcracker come from?’ and “Why must he defeat the Mouse King?” At 7:30 p.m. at Diana Wortham Theatre. Visit dwtheatre.org for tickets.
Dec. 3-5
Biltmore Village Dickens Festival: Historic Biltmore Village marks the season with three days of merriment and music. Enjoy storytellers, carolers and entertainers performing on the stage and streets. 5-7 p.m. Dec. 3, 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Dec. 4 and 1-5 p.m. Dec. 5. Visit biltmorevillage.com.
Dec. 3-19
PHOTO BY ERIN BRETHAUER
People line Main Street in Weaverville to see the holiday parade. This year’s event is Dec. 4. Olde Fashioned Hendersonville Christmas: Historic Downtown Hendersonville merchants host an open house with refreshments, entertainment, carriage rides, visit from Father Christmas and more. Visit downtownhendersonville.org.
Dec. 3-4
Dillsboro Festival of Lights and Luminaries: Live music, carolers, holiday treats and Santa. Free. Call 800-962-1911 or see visitdillsboro.org. Gingerbread Cookie Contest Display: Narnia Studios on Main Street in Hendersonville displays cookies in four categories: traditional, unusual, teamwork and bakers 13 and under. Call 697-6393. ‘The Nutcracker and the Mouse King’: Asheville
Lake Julian Festival of Lights: Drive through Lake Julian Park, which is brightly lit with thousands of colored lights and animated and stationary displays. $5 per car, $10 per van and $20 per bus. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Buncombe County Special Olympics. Entrance on Long Shoals Road at Overlook Road.
Dec. 4
Breakfast with Santa: At 9 a.m. at Stecoah Valley Cultural Arts Center, Robbinsville. Visit stecoahvalleycenter.com. Brevard Twilight Tour: Heart of Brevard’s 23rd annual Twilight Tour in downtown with merchants’ open house, Santa, Christmas parade, 5K run and more. Call 884-3278. Christmas parades ◆ Black Mountain Christmas parade, 4 p.m. Visit exploreblackmountian.com. ◆ Brevard Christmas parade, 3 p.m., downtown. Call 883-3700.
Continues on Page 54
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
53
Holiday happenings
Dec. 5
UNC Asheville holiday concert: 4 p.m. at Lipinsky Auditorium. $5. Call 251-6432.
Dec. 6
Continued from Page 53 ◆ Bryson City Christmas parade, 2 p.m., downtown. Call 488-3681 or 800-867-9246 or visit greatsmokies.com. ◆ Hendersonville Christmas parade, 10:30 a.m., Five Points to Caswell Street. Call 692-4179 or visit nchmba.com. ◆ Maggie Valley Christmas parade, 6 p.m. along U.S. 19. Visit maggievalley.org. ◆ Valdese Christmas Parade, 10 a.m. See visitvaldese.com. ◆ Weaverville, 1 p.m. Starts at the intersection of North Main Street and Dula Springs Road. Circle of Lights: See Santa, enjoy music, food, hay rides, a bonfire and more following Black Mountain Christmas Parade. From 5-7 p.m. at Lake Tomahawk Park, 401 S. Laurel Circle Drive, Black Mountain. Free. Call 419-9300, ext. 687. Christmas at the Farm: Historic Johnson Farm offers holiday music with local musicians, free cookies and cider, house tours, wagon ride and more. From noon-5 p.m. $5 for adults, $3 for students, free preschoolers and younger. At 3345 Haywood Road, Hendersonville. Call 891-6585 or visit historicjohnsonfarm.org. Home for the Holidays: WNC Nature Center’s annual holiday event, from noon-9 p.m. Mountain Marionette performances at 2 and 2:40 p.m. See the animals, share in cultural activities and holiday crafts, enjoy refreshments, see Santa and more. Regular admis-
54
Waynesville Christmas Parade: 6 p.m., down Main Street. Visit downtownwaynesville.com.
Dec. 8
Tryon Christmas Parade: 5 p.m., downtown on North Trade Street. With food and music. Call 859-6656.
Dec. 9-19
Charles Dickens’ ’A Christmas Carol’: Montford Park Players presents its 34th annual production. At Asheville Masonic Temple, Asheville. Call 254-5146 or visit montforparkplayers.org.
Dec. 10
Christmas Candlelight Stroll: Luminaries, entertainment, carriage rides, refreshments and Santa from 6-9 p.m. in downtown Weaverville. See visitweaverville.com/candlelight.
Dec. 10-11
SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT
Historic Johnson Farm will hold its holiday open house, Christmas at the Farm, Dec. 4. sion fees. Call 298-5600 or visit wildwnc.org. Santa on the Chimney: Santa practices on 315-foot Chimney Rock, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Free with admission to Chimney Rock Park.
Dillsboro Festival of Lights and Luminaries: Live music, carolers, holiday treats and Santa. Free. Call 800-962-1911 or see visitdillsboro.org. ‘Heart and Hearth: Songs for the Season’: The Asheville Choral Society performs at Central United Methodist Church. Visit ashevillechoralsociety.org or call 232-2060.
Dec. 10-12
Asheville Ballet’s ’The Nutcracker’: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 10-11 and 2:30 p.m. Dec. 11-12 at Diana Wortham Theatre. For tickets, visit dwtheatre.org or call 257-
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Dec. 17-18
4530. For information, visit ashevilleballet.com.
Dec. 11
Carolina Concert Choir holiday concert: At 7:30 p.m. Dec. 17 and 3 p.m. Dec. 18 at St. James Episcopal Church, Hendersonville. Visit carolinaconcertchoir.org. Home for the Holidays at FENCE: Christmas caroling, refreshments and more in the Great Room at Foothills Equestrian Nature Center. At 7 p.m. Dec. 17 and 3 p.m. Dec. 18. Call 859-9021 or visit fence.org.
A Night Before Christmas: Downtown Waynesville celebrates the holidays with caroling, a live nativity, storytelling, wagon rides and more. Visit downtownwaynesville.com. Christmas at Connemara: Celebrate Christmas with the traditions of the Sandburgs with holiday decorations and music at the Carl Sandburg Home in Flat Rock from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Free with house tour admission. Call 693-4178 or visit nps.gov/carl. Christmas parades ◆ Cherokee Christmas Parade, 5:30 p.m. ◆ Fletcher Christmas Parade, 10:30 a.m., on U.S. 25. Call 687-0751 or visit fletcherparks.org. ◆ Marshall Christmas Parade, 11 a.m. Visit townofmarshall.org. Hendersonville Symphony Orchestra: Carolina Christmas concert, 4 p.m. at Mud Creek Baptist Church. Adults, $35, Students $5. Visit hendersonvillesymphony.org. Santa on the Chimney: Santa practices on 315-foot Chimney Rock, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Free with admission to Chimney Rock Park.
Dec. 12
Dec. 21
Moscow Ballet’s ‘Great Russian Nutcracker’: At 7:30 p.m. in Thomas Wolfe Auditorium. Call or visit Ticketmaster.com for tickets, which start at $26.50.
Dec. 25
Bounty of Bethlehem dinner: Immaculata Catholic School in Hendersonville hosts a community Christmas dinner that includes entertainment, gifts and a visit from Santa. Everyone welcome. 1-5 p.m. Free. Call 693-5115 or visit bountyofbethlehem.org.
Hanukkah PHOTO BY JOHN FLETCHER
Asheville Symphony Holiday Pops concert: The Asheville Symphony Orchestra and Chorus, and Children’s Chorus, perform at 3 p.m. at Thomas Wolfe Auditorium. Call 254-7046 or visit ashevillesymphony.org.
Veronica Perez holds her daughter Halley while waiting to see Santa during the Bounty of Bethlehem Dinner at Immaculata Catholic School in Hendersonville. The Christmas Day event is free and open to everyone.
Ballet Conservatory of Asheville’s ‘The Nutcracker’: At 5 and 7:30 p.m. Dec. 16 and 17 at Diana
Wortham Theatre. Visit balletconservatoryofasheville.com or call 257-4530.
Dec. 16-17
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
Dec. 1-3
Community Candle Lighting: JCC of Asheville hosts a candle lighting program open to the community at 5:30 p.m. Visit jcc-asheville.org.
Dec. 5
Hanukkah dinner: The community is invited to celebrate Hanukkah, 5:30-8 p.m. Seating is limited. Tickets are $35 adults and $10 for kids (non-JCC members) or $20 and $8 for members. At the Jewish Community Center of Asheville, 236 Charlotte Street. Call 253-0701 or visit jcc-asheville.org.
55
calendar of events
Things to do
The calendar deadline for WNC Parent’s December issue is Nov. 10.
Through Nov. 6
Canstruction A nationwide design/build competition where teams build giant structures from full cans of food. At the end of the exhibition, food will be donated to MANNA FoodBank. Competition is 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Oct. 30 at Pack Place. On display until Nov. 6. Visit yafasheville.org.
Nov. 1
Food allergy group COCOA — Caring for Children with food Allergies — is a free group for parents of food allergic children that meets at 6:45 p.m. the first Monday of the month at Earth Fare on Hendersonville Road in South Asheville. E-mail Kristie at cocoa_in_asheville@yahoo.com. Parenting Lunch-n-Learn Get information and tools to help with your child’s early literacy skills at “My Child Can Read … Or Can She?” 12:30-1:30 p.m. at the JCC of Asheville, 236 Charlotte St. E-mail Caroline Rasch at caroline@jcc-asheville.org.
Registration starts Nov. 1
Play & Learn Parents/caregivers and children ages 3-5 in Buncombe County who are not in regulated child care can attend a series of eight free Play & Learn group sessions. The group will meet 10:30-11:15 a.m. Tuesdays, Nov. 16-Jan. 25, and 10-10:45 and 11-11:45 a.m. Wednesdays, Nov. 17-Jan. 26, at Asheville City Schools Preschool on Haywood Road in West Asheville. Each 45minute session focuses on pre-literacy skills for children and educational information for parents. With songs, puppets, dance, games, crafts and hands-on activities. Children new to the program receive a book each week. Registration required. New participants may register by e-mail (marna.holland@asheville.k12.nc.us) or phone (3502904) on Nov. 1. If slots are still available, returning participants may register Nov. 9. Children must be at least 3 years old on or before Nov. 16. Younger siblings may attend with their families, but materials are not provided for them.
56
SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT
Celebrate Scottish heritage at the Foothills Highland Games on Nov. 6 at Jackson Park in Hendersonville.
Nov. 1-3
‘101 Dalmations, Kids!’ auditions Asheville Children’s Theatre is holding auditions for “101 Dalmations, Kids!” for ages 4-7. Rehearsals are 3:30-4:30 p.m. Mondays and Wednesdays. Performances are Feb. 3-4. Call the Asheville Arts Center at 253-4000 for registration information.
Nov. 1-14
Asheville International Children’s Film Festival A two-week event featuring 125 films from 30 countries. Live performances, animation, children’s jury, hands-on workshops and more. Visit aicff.org.
Nov. 4 and 11
Childbirth class A two-session class for expectant parents covering the labor and delivery process, relaxation, breathing patterns, birth options, positioning and comfort measures, tour of the Pardee Women and Children’s Center. 6:30-9 p.m. Nov. 4 and 11. Free. Registration required. At Pardee Hospital Orientation Classroom, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Call 866-790WELL.
Nov. 4-6
‘Little Women’ Asheville Christian Academy presents “Little Women,” with performances at 7 p.m. Nov. 4-6 and 2 p.m. Nov. 6. Reserved tickets are $10, available for purchase at the school, 74 Riverwood Road, Swannanoa, or by calling 581-2200.
Nov. 5
Mission Reach Out 2010 Central United Methodist hosts live and silent auctions to benefit global missions at 6 p.m. Silent auction will feature arts and craft items; live auction will include vacations, tickets and gift certificates. Visit centralumc.org or call 253-3316. Music and Movement Hands On! A Child’s Gallery hosts Music and Movement with Jenny Arch at 10:30 a.m. Sing, dance and enjoy the music. Free with $5 admission. At 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Visit handsonwnc.org.
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Nov. 5-6
Enka-Candler Library used book sale Friends of the Enka-Candler Library hosts a used book sale, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Nov. 5 and 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Nov. 6. Preview night for Friends members, 6-8 p.m. Nov. 4. Proceeds benefit the library. Call 2504758 or e-mail enka.library@buncombecounty.org.
Nov. 6
Children’s Consignment Sale Hendersonville First Baptist Church’s WEE School hosts a sale offering gently used children’s clothing, toys, books, furniture and more, 8 a.m.-1 p.m. in the gym on Fourth Avenue. For information or to be a consignor, call 693-8312. Foothills Highland Games Experience living history and Celtic heritage at the Scottish Clans of the South annual gathering, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Jackson Park in Hendersonville. With Scottish athletics competition, Highland dancers, bagpipe bands, children’s games and more. $10 for adults, $7 for children ages 7-14. Visit schotsfoothillshg.org. Garden Science Investigation Botanical Gardens at Asheville’s children’s program. This month, participants will learn survival techniques, like finding their way when lost, things to eat in the wild and protection from various weather conditions. Ages 5-11. $7. Registration required. 9:30-11:30 a.m. at 151 W.T. Weaver Blvd. Call 252-5190 or visit ashevillebotanicalgardens.org. Girl Scout Day at Chimney Rock Park Programs for troops, 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. $14 per scout (adult chaperones required; one adult free per 10 scouts); $11.50 per additional adult, $5 per additional child. Visit chimneyrockpark.com. Mom’s Pilates Mat Class Ballet Conservatory invites moms and teens to try a free Pilates mat class, 10:45-11:30 a.m., at 5 Points Studios, 6 E. Chestnut St., Asheville. Call 255-5777 or visit BalletConservatoryofAsheville.com. ‘Ravenna’ reading Author Stacey Curnow reads her new book, “Ravenna,” about a boy and the talking bear he loves. With a performance by Chris Martin’s Curtain Call Collective, temporary tattoos, arts and crafts, and snacks. At 3 p.m. at Spellbound Children’s Bookshop, 19 Wall St. All ages. Free. Call 232-2228 or visit spellboundchildrensbookshop.com. Weaverville Library book sale Weaverville Library Friends will host a book sale, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. All books will be sold at half the marked price from the annual Labor Dale sale. Call 250-6482 or visit Weaverville.library@buncombe county.org. YMCA parents’ night out The YMCA in downtown Asheville offers a parents night out for children ages 2-12. Activities include swimming, arts and crafts, inflatable obstacle course, snacks and a movie. Register online or in person (at least 24 hours before scheduled program). Offered 6-10 p.m. the first Saturday. $15 for members ($30 for nonmembers), with $2 sibling discounts for everyone. Call 210-5622 or visit ymcawnc.org.
Continues on Page 58
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
57
calendar of events Continued from Page 57
Nov. 6, 13 and 20
Tai chi class Pack Square Conservancy sponsors free tai chi classes, 10-11:30 a.m. on Nov. 6, 13 and 20. On the lawn of Reuter Terrace in Pack Square Park. All skill levels. Visit packsquarepark.org.
Nov. 7
Asheville Music School open house Asheville Music School hosts an open house, 2-4 p.m., at its new downtown location, 101 S. Lexington Ave. Call 252-6244. ROYAL Book Club Discuss “I Am the Messenger,” by Markus Zusak. For adults reading young adult fiction; 18 and older welcome. No reservations required. At 4 p.m. at Spellbound Children’s Bookshop, 19 Wall St. Call 232-2228. Veritas Christian Academy open house Veritas Christian Academy, a classical Christian school for pre-K through 12th grade, hosts a community open house, 2-4 p.m. Tour the school, view the curriculum and talk to faculty. At 17 Cane Creek Road, Fletcher. Visit veritasnc.org or call 681-0546.
Nov. 7 and 14
Love and Logic workshop Park Ridge Hospital’s The Baby Place offers a workshop using hands-on-learning to help parents gain practical skills in the Love and Logic method. Love and Logic uses humor, hope, and empathy to build healthy adult-child relationships. Learn to show love in a healthy way and establish effective control. Kids will learn responsibility and develop coping skills for the real world through solving their own problems. 1-4:30 p.m. $60 per person or $100 per couple. Call 681-2229 to register or visit parkridgebabies.com.
Nov. 8
Childbirth class Park Ridge Hospital’s Baby Place offers its childbirth class in a one-day session, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Course covers nutrition and fitness for the expectant mom, labor, delivery options ranging from low-intervention to natural to traditional childbirth, newborn care, and tour of the Baby Place. Call 681-BABY to register. $90. At 100 Hospital Drive, Hendersonville.
Starts Nov. 8
Art classes Roots + Wings School of Art offers art sessions for ages 7-12, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Mondays. Four-week session focuses on exploring mixed media. $50. At Cathedral of All Souls, 3 Angle St., Biltmore Village. Visit rootsandwingsarts.com or call 545-4827.
Nov. 9
Hula-Hoop Hoopla Kids ages 11-18 can learn how to make Hula-Hoops for free at this Black Mountain Library workshop, from 5-7 p.m. Free. Registration required. Call 250-4756.
58
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
Nov. 10
Holistic Parenting Forum The Holistic Parenting Forum is a free group that meets monthly to provide support, education and resources for a diverse community of parents committed to natural living. Meets 6-8 p.m. second Wednesday of month at Earth Fare Westgate. Children welcome. Call 230-4850 or e-mail shantisunshine@gmail.com.
Nov. 11
Beginner Ballet Class Ballet Conservatory invites 3- to 5-year-olds to try a free beginner ballet class with Angie Lynn, 1:15-2 p.m., at the company’s new 5 Points Studios, 6 E. Chestnut St., Asheville. Call 255-5777 or visit BalletConservatoryofAsheville.com. Origami Folding Frenzy Learn new folds, share favorites, and meet fellow origami enthusiasts. All levels welcome. Paper is available at the museum store or bring your own. Cost is museum admission. 4-5 p.m. the second Thursday of the month at The Health Adventure, 2 S. Pack Place. Call 254-6373 or visit thehealthadventure.org. Visit with Santa Hands On! A Child’s Gallery hosts Santa Claus in an early visit from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Write him a letter or wish list and deliver it in person. Free with $5 admission. At 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Visit handsonwnc.org.
Nov. 12
Parents’ Night Out Fired Up! Creative Lounge offers a program for kids, 6-9 p.m. at both the Asheville and Hendersonville locations. Drop off the kids for pizza, drinks and bisque items for the kids to paint. $25 per child. Call 253-8181 for reservations in Asheville or 698-9960 in Hendersonville.
Nov. 12-13
Brevard Storytelling Festival N.C. Storytelling guild and Friends of Transylvania County Library host a storytelling festival and Transylvania County Library. Morning sessions include storytelling for small children in the Storytime Room and workshops presented by the headliners. Afternoon and evening concerts will entertain Family and Adult audiences. All concerts, workshops, and events are free and open to the public. Visit ncstoryguild.org.
Nov. 13
Baby Sitter Training class ◆ In Asheville: For children ages 11-15. Learn how to care for a child. Basic first aid included. Dress comfortable and bring lunch. 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at Asheville-Mountain Area Chapter, American Red Cross, 100 Edgewood Road, Asheville. $45. For details and to register, visit redcrosswnc.org and click on “Take a Class” or call 258-3888. ◆ In Fletcher: Red Cross training for ages 11-18. Teaches general and child safety. $45. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Fletcher Town Hall. Visit fletcherparks.org.
Continues on Page 60
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
59
calendar of events Continued from Page 59 East Asheville Library used book sale East Asheville Library will host a book sale, 8:30 a.m.-2 p.m. Adult books will be $1 or less and children’s books will be a dime each. Proceeds benefit the library. Call 250-4738 or e-mail eastasheville.library@buncombecounty.org. Kids Health Fair Asheville YMCA’s Fit for Life Program hosts the “The Little Iron Youth Celebration” to bring awareness to the rise in childhood obesity rates in Buncombe County. Visit kid-health vendors, play games, try the climbing wall and more. 1-3 p.m. at Beaverdam YMCA, 201 Beaverdam Road, Asheville. Rain location is Asheville YMCA gym. Just 4 Girls health event Just 4 Girls is a free workshop for girls ages 12-19 that will cover emotions, stress, coping, relationships, teen pregnancy and more. Sponsored by the Girl Scouts, YMCA and Pardee Hospital. From 1:30-4 p.m. at Pardee Education Center, Blue Ridge Mall, 1800 Four Season’s Blvd., Hendersonville. Call 866-790-WELL to register. Roberson Holiday Market Do your holiday shopping at Roberson High School, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Crafts, food, music and raffles. At 250 Overlook Road, Asheville.
Nov. 14
‘Magic in the Forest’ and bulb planting Asheville International Children’s Film Festival wraps up with showings of “Magic in the Forest” at 12:30 and 3 p.m. at Posana Café on Pack Square in Asheville. At 2 p.m., meet the film’s star, Victory Van Tuyl, and join her in planning bulbs around Vance Monument. Reservations required by Nov. 10. Call 712-1373 or e-mail Louisa@ storypointmedia.com.
Nov. 15
Baby Place Experience class Park Ridge Hospital hosts its Experience the Baby Place class at 6 p.m. one Monday a month. See the facility and ask questions about delivering at The Baby Place. Call 681-2229 to register.
Starts Nov. 15
SAT preparation course UNC Asheville offers an SAT test preparation course, Mondays and Wednesdays, Nov. 15-Dec. 1. $295. Call 250-2353, e-mail nwilliams@unca.org or visit www2.unca.edu/distedu/ce/.
Nov. 16
Women’s Heart Health talk Hands On! A Child’s Gallery hosts Julie Palmer of Park Ridge Hospital, who will talk about women’s heart health, from 4:30-5:30 p.m. Free. Call 697-8333 to register. At 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Visit handsonwnc.org.
Nov. 17
Home-school ballet class Ballet Conservatory invites 6- to 8-year-olds to try
60
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
a free ballet class, 12:30-1:15 p.m., at the company’s new 5 Points Studios, 6 E. Chestnut St., Asheville. Call 255-5777 or visit BalletConservatoryofAsheville.com. Prematurity Awareness Day The March of Dimes will mark Prematurity Awareness Month, which is November, with its eighthannual Prematurity Awareness Day in the lobby of Mission Hospital. UNC Asheville students will participate in a poster contest, which will be judged by the staff of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The agency will also host an ice cream social to mark the event. Noon. Open to the public.
Nov. 18
Asheville Christian Academy open houses Call 581-2200 or visit ACAcademy.org. ◆ Fall Explore Kindergarten: Parents can explore kindergarten, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Meet teachers and administrators, and learn about the school’s approach to this important first year. Observe classes in session and take a tour of campus. ◆ Fall Open House: For all grades, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Experience ACA’s liberal arts approach to a college preparatory education distinguished by a biblical worldview. ACA is fully accredited and serves K4 through 12th grade. Pardee Hospital parenting classes For details and registration, call 866-790-WELL. Both are free; registration required. At Pardee Hospital, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. ◆ Breast-feeding class: Learn the art of breastfeeding. 6:30-8 p.m. ◆ Daddy Duty class: Learn helpful ideas and tips for dads during the labor and birth process. 6:30-8 p.m. at Pardee Hospital Video Conference Room.
Nov. 18-19
‘The Tempest’ Theater Veritas from Veritas Christian Academy performs “The Tempest” at 7 p.m. at Hendersonville High School. Tickets for reserved seats are $10. Call 681-0546. General admission seats at performances are $8 suggested donation.
Nov. 18-20
Wee Trade Holiday Sale Find children’s new and gently used toys and holiday wear. At WNC Ag Center, Fletcher. Visit wee-trade.net.
Nov. 18-21
‘High School Musical 2, Jr.’ Asheville Youth Theatre performs “High School Musical 2, Jr.!” at 3 and 7 p.m. Tickets are $5 and $10. Performed at the Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave. Call 253-4000.
Nov. 19
‘Educating Global Villagers’ Azalea Mountain Waldorf Initiative presents “Educating Global Villagers: The Role Of Art In Meeting the Challenges Of Our Time” with special guest Michael Howard, author of “Art as Spiritual Activity,” at 7 p.m. Explore how art provides children the resources they
Continues on Page 62
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
61
calendar of events Continued from Page 61 need to meet the demands of modern life. $10 donation. At Vesica Institute, 1011 Tunnel Road, Suite 200, Asheville. Reserve tickets at azaleamountain.org. Call 329-2649 or e-mail azaleamountain@gmail.com for information. Teen Dance Party Weaverville Library’s Teen Awesome Group hosts a free dance party, 4-5:30 p.m., for ages 11-18. Join in a workshop by a local Latin dance instructor followed by a dance party to try out new skills. No experience necessary. Call 250-6482 or e-mail weaverville.library@buncombecounty.org YMCA parents’ night out The YMCA in downtown Asheville offers a parents night out for children ages 2-12. Activities include swimming, arts and crafts, inflatable obstacle course, snacks and a movie. Register online or in person (at least 24 hours before scheduled program). 6:30-9:30 p.m. the third Friday of each month. $12 for members ($24 nonmembers), with $2 sibling discounts for everyone. Call 210-5622 or visit ymcawnc.org.
Nov. 20
Break-dance/Hip-hop class Try a free session of Breakin’ with Joe Adams, for ages 7-12, at Ballet Conservatory of Asheville’s 5 Points Studios, 6 E. Chestnut St., Asheville. Call 255-5777 or visit BalletConservatoryofAsheville. Celebrate Pregnancy The Baby Place at Park Ridge Hospital offers a course with a twist on normal childbirth class covering important labor techniques and labor support. $99, which includes massage voucher ($65 value). Call 681-BABY to register. At 100 Hospital Drive, Hendersonville. Infant/Child CPR class American Red Cross class in infant/child CPR, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at Fletcher Town Hall. Ages 11 and older. $40. Visit fletcherparks.org or call 687-0751. WNC Chess Team Challenge Veritas Christian Academy hosts chess tournament for kindergarten-12th grade, 8 a.m.-4 p.m. $12 per person in advance or $18 on site. Visit veritasnc.org for information and registration forms.
Nov. 21
‘Playing with Gaia’ story time Dress-up story time with the author of “Playing with Gaia,” in which a child learns that Gaia is part of her and everything in nature. At 3 p.m. at Spellbound Children’s Bookshop, 19 Wall St. Call 232-2228 or visit spellboundchildrensbookshop.com.
Nov. 25 Thanksgiving
Nov. 29-Dec. 2
‘School House Rock Life Jr.’ auditions Auditions for “School House Rock Live Jr.” for kids ages 8-16. Rehearsals are 4:15-5:45 p.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Performances are March 3-5. This cast will also perform for school audiences. Call the
62
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010
calendar of events Asheville Arts Center at 253-4000 for details.
Nov. 30
Breast-feeding class Park Ridge Hospital’s Baby Place offers a workshop teaching the benefits and basics of breastfeeding, feeding patterns, proper latch and positioning. At 6 p.m. Call 681-BABY to register. $25. The hospital is at 100 Hospital Drive, Hendersonville. Crazy Chemists Create Crazy Concoctions Hands On! A Child’s Gallery offers kids a chance to make squishy, bouncy, funny putty at 10:30 a.m. Free with $5 admission. At 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Visit handsonwnc.org. Family Support Network workshop Workshop for parents of teenagers with disabilities as part of the “They Won’t Be Kids Forever” series through the Family Support Network program at Mission Children’s Hospital. This workshop explores housing options, both creative and traditional. At 6 p.m. at Mission’s Reuter Outpatient Center in Vanderbilt Park. To register and for details, call 213-9787.
Dec. 1
Creative Arts Preschool open house Asheville Arts Center hosts an open house at the Creative Arts Preschool at the Asheville Arts Center. 10:30-12pm. Enrolling 2-5yr olds and starting a NEW 2’s program! Have a just new 2 yr old? Not potty trained yet, that’s ok! Need to get out of the house for a bit and run some errands? Join our NEW 2’s Creative Arts Preschool for 2 or 3 days per week. Call to reserve your spot, 2534000.
Dec. 2-3
‘Honk Jr.’ Ira B. Jones Elementary School presents “Honk Jr.,” based on the story “The Ugly Duckling.” Performances at 7 p.m. in the Ira B. Jones Auditorium. $5 for adults, $3 for children 5 and up;
free for 4 and under. Tickets can be purchased at the door only on the day of the show.
Dec. 2-4
‘Into the Woods Jr.’ Asheville Arts Center’s Academy performs “Into the Woods Jr.” at 7 p.m., with a matinee at 3 p.m. Dec. 4. Tickets are $10. At Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave. Call 253-4000.
Ongoing
The Health Adventure programs ◆ Home-school program: The Health Adventure now offers three six-week home-school classes for 8- to 10-year-olds. Classes will be held weekly, 1:30-3 p.m. Wednesdays. Registration required. The next session, with a focus on biology, runs Jan. 12-Feb. 16. Visit thehealthadventure.org or call 254-6373. ◆ Blue Man Group: Making Waves: The museum’s new traveling exhibit lets kids experience the world through the eyes of Blue Man Group. At 2 S. Pack Square, Asheville. Call 254-6373 or visit thehealthadventure.org. Grow With Me Cooperative Preschool Grow With Me Cooperative Preschool has openings for 3- and 4-year-olds. The Waldorf-inspired community offers a half-day program Tuesdays through Thursdays with affordable tuition in exchange for parental involvement and leadership. Call Jessica at 242-6531. Dance lessons Asheville Clogging Company in South Asheville offers ongoing classes for children and teens of all skill levels clogging, Irish step dancing, hip-hop, jazz, ballet, lyrical and tap at a new state-of-the-art dance studio. Ongoing classes for ages 3 and older. Visit ashevillecloggingcompany.com, call 329-3856 or e-mail ashley@ashevillecloggingcompany.com. Zeugner Center family swim Buncombe County’s Zeugner Center indoor pool is now open 1:30-5 p.m. Sundays for family swim time. $3 per person. Passes available, $20 for 10 visits and $40 for 25 visits. The Zeugner Center at 90 Springside Drive, Arden, behind Roberson High School. For more information, contact Teri Gentile at 684-5072 or teri.gentile@buncombecounty.org.
Solutions to puzzles on Page 50
W N C PA R E N T. C O M
63
64
W N C PA R E N T | N OV E M B E R 2 010