WNCParent October 2010 by Stacey

WNCMOM.COM, THE PLACE WHERE LOCAL MOMS CONNECT

c o n t e n t s The joys of toddlers This month’s features

3 Survival tips

Getting through the day with a toddler can be a challenge. We offer a few suggestions.

5 Mr. Independent

No longer babies, toddlers learn to do things for themselves.

8 Hard to say goodbye

Separation anxiety can peak in the toddler years. We offer coping guidelines.

20 Start saving

Teaching good eating habits can begin when kids are just starting to feed themselves.

26 Too scary?

You’re never too young to learn. Activities like story time get toddlers started.

29 On their own

10 Eating well

14 Early learning

16 Discipline 101

What to know when trying to keep a toddler in line.

19 Toddler milestones

Check this chart to see if your child is on track.

In every issue

Kids’ Voices ......................34 Artful Parent .....................35 Dad’s View........................38 Growing Together ...............40 Parent 2 Parent .................41 Parenting in a Nutshell .......44 Home-School Happenings....49 Librarian’s Pick..................50 Story Times ......................50 Divorced Families...............52 Recall Roundup .................54 Puzzles ........................60-61 Calendar ..........................62

Learn about the options for saving for college while your kids are small.

Halloween can be frightening for the littlest goblins. But what’s too scary? Tweens and teens often want to trick-or-treat alone.

32 Have leftover candy?

Turn your Halloween treats into delicious desserts.

When my son was a toddler, he wanted no help getting into his highchair. None. He would push a chair up to the front of the highchair, climb up on the chair, pull himself onto the tray, throw a leg into the seat of his highchair, flip his body over the tray and maneuver into the highchair’s seat. Toddlers are a wonder. Independent yet clingy, chatty but shy, the list goes on and on. We’ve compiled a list of the developmental milestones of toddlerhood, found on Page 19. Do you have a child who’s between 1 and 3 years old? Then rip this page out and put it on the fridge. It will give you a good idea of what you can expect when. Learning to survive with a toddler is key. Our story on Page 3 might give you some strategies. Another parenting must: consistent discipline. On Page 16, we list some techniques that should help tame your precocious little one’s behaviors before they get out of hand. At this age, children are learning how to feed themselves and making decisions on which foods they like. Help foster good eating habits by taking the advice in the story on Page 10. Aside from toddlers, we look this month at all the fun that fall brings. Find a roundup of fall festivals and Halloween events on Page 23, and several Halloween stories starting on Page 26. Katie Wadington, editor

56 Fish for dinner

Add some seafood to your diet using one of these recipes.

On the cover

Jaxson Beckwith, by Sheridan Cupp Photography, sheridancupp.com

Are you a member? Join the conversation, post photos and connect with other parents at WNCmom.com. Look for WNC Parent on Facebook and Twitter.

P.O. Box 2090, Asheville, NC 28802 828-232-5845 I www.wncmom.com PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER Randy Hammer WNC PARENT EDITOR Katie Wadington - 232-5829 kwadington@citizen-times.com CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Nancy Sluder nsluder@citizen-times.com

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Surviving

Tips for getting through a plane trip, a meal out and more

the toddler years

By Lockie Hunter WNC Parent contributor

mom Jennifer Rennicks to travel when her daughters were toddlers. “As parents who took Emma transAtlantic for the first time at 3 months, we developed many coping techniques for successful travel with kids,” Rennicks notes. “The most important is to nurse for a few years since a hit on the beloved breast could usually fix anything within seconds.” One idea for keeping kids occupied on a flight is to buy a small new toy or book and give to them at some point during the trip. Portable DVD players can serve as a distraction. In a pinch, even a cell phone is entertainment.

You enter the restaurant armed with an arsenal of toys, sippy cups, and coloring books… but will it be enough? Most parents understand that toddlers are unpredictable in social situations. From airplanes to weddings, toddlers can be surprisingly docile one moment and screaming the next. How do you tackle those tough social scenes? Asheville moms who have survived toddlerhood speak out with inspired suggestions.

Prepping for the event Sometimes distraction is key, and a bag full of inexpensive items may turn a sour social evening into a grand one. Asheville mom Hope Butterworth always carries a stash of portable toys to bring out, preferably ones her children don’t use often, such as tiny horses, erasers in the shape of animals or books of stickers. “My kids love the Crayola air-dry clay in little packets,” she says. “No mess, and you can make little dice or animals out of it that dry and then play with them.” Paper and pencils are another essential. Butterworth also lets her boys pack their own tiny backpacks prior to a trip. “Just wearing it around makes them feel important and responsible,” she said.

Taking to the skies Flying presents a host of problems,

Eating out

Though Emma Rennicks makes a lovely flower girl, weddings are often stressful events for parents with toddlers. including earaches at takeoff and landing, boredom and being confined to a small seat. For those nursing, sometimes the act itself is magic, soothing even the fussiest child while creating a magical pop for pressurized toddler ears. Having family overseas impelled local

Butterworth says she feels the best advice is to keep the children fed no matter where you are. Pack cheese sticks or some kind of protein snack so children don’t get hungry and melt down. She also cautions against having sweet drinks with dinner. “My kids could usually handle late nights, subway rides or grown-up parties as long as their blood sugar stayed pretty even,” she says. Butterworth also created “restaurant manners” that her children put on. “Literally, they pretend to stick them on their bodies before we walk into a restaurant.” Asheville’s Caroline Kennedy found that when her son, Andy, was young, dinners out often meant that she or her husband would eat fairly quickly and go outside to take Andy for a walk. Continues on Page 4

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Toddler years Continued from Page 3

Often a stroll with the child will allow one adult to finish a meal in relative peace.

‘I Do’ want my kid to behave If you attend a wedding or event where a toddler need be silent, Butterworth suggests letting the child know all about what is going on beforehand and tell him why everyone is so excited. (Don’t forget to tell him about the cake to be had afterward.)

Non-kid-friendly homes The post-dinner stroll is not limited to restaurants. Sometimes you just have to take children outside and let them run around. Butterworth recalls taking her 3year-old to the home of a friend for a grown-up party. “He collected native art so on every surface, just at the kids’ level, there were antique hand stitched dolls, and priceless arty toys. In that situation, you just can’t win.”

Are we there yet? Kennedy notes that when her son was quite young, he enjoyed listening to stories on CD with headphones. “Some kids, who are already accustomed to sitting and listening to someone reading, can sit a long time with that type of entertainment,” she says. An array of stories on tape and CDs can be checked out from the library. One trick that may work in multiple situations where silence is not required is developing a running story starter. Butterworth’s starter begins with “Once there was a mouse named Krik-krak who lived in a house with 29 cats...” So when she has to wait and her children are in need of some stimulation, she starts a Krik-krak story that her children help create as they go along. “He had a rotating group of friends in his mouse hole; once he even went to China,” she says. “It was a great distraction, and they loved it.”

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Foster (and celebrate) toddler’s independence By Pam J. Hecht WNC Parent contributor For Tonya Marshall, watching her almost 2-year-old daughter become more and more independent has been “bittersweet.” “I want to celebrate and cry at the same time,” says the Mars Hill mom. “It’s hard to watch your baby, who used to depend on you for everything, no longer need you. But I refuse to hold her back for my own benefit.” Your baby isn’t a baby anymore. With those first tentative steps, the path to increased independence begins. Nurturing this independent spirit can be challenging, but it has its own sweet rewards. It’s how they become independent thinkers, which will enable them to make decisions that are right for them and avoid peer pressure later, says Pat Tuttle, Warren Wilson College professor and educational liaison to the Mountain Area Child and Family Center in Asheville. “It shows them that they are competent and capable of making choices,” Tuttle says. “You’re teaching them that they’re responsible for their own lives and it starts when they’re little.”

Accommodate autonomy “Don’t say, ‘you’re too little,’ or do for them what they can do for themselves,” Tuttle says. “Instead, find things they can do and celebrate them. “Even if the shoe is on the wrong foot — if it feels OK to them, leave it — it affirms for them who they are and that they’re unique and special.” The Marshalls let their daughter, Sylvie, “do as much as she wants to try to do.” “If she wants to dress herself, we let

SPECIAL TO THE CITIZEN-TIMES

Sylvie Marshall helps make the family pizza. her try — it usually ends up with her asking for help, but she’ll never learn if we always do it for her,” Marshall says. “If she wants to help us do things, like put away the groceries, we give her tasks she can handle, like putting the

canned foods in the lower cabinet. If she wants to help us cook, we’ll let her stir or add things to a bowl.” Susan Zuckerman, of Asheville, says Continues on Page 6

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Independence Continued from Page 5

her 2-year-old son, Daniel, likes to help “clean” with a dustpan and small broom. In the kitchen, Marshall’s daughter has her own cabinet for her things. A stool in the bathroom helps with washing hands and brushing teeth, a small table provides a place to color and a low shelving unit and toy box make all of her books and toys accessible. Allowing time for independent play is important, so “he can learn to entertain himself,” says Zuckerman. “He takes in so much information during the day that he also needs time to process and absorb it on his own.”

Offer limited choices Always give real and honest choices and follow through on what they decide, says Tuttle. “Instead of saying, ‘Are you ready for breakfast?’ we’ll say, ‘Would you like eggs or cereal this morning?’ ” says Marshall. “Giving her outlets for her to control her own life makes her feel better about herself and her position in our family,” she adds. “It also helps with her behavior.”

Out of the house At school, her son “asserts his independence clearly,” Zuckerman says, asking his mom or dad to leave when they drop him off. “It’s not easy to hear, but it’s a good sign that he is comfortable at school and that he is developing a sense that this is a space for him separate from his parents,” she says. While grocery shopping, the Marshalls allow their daughter to pick out snacks and help put items in the shopping cart, sometimes letting her pick out a prize if she’s behaving. At the library, she can choose one book at a time to look at, Marshall says. Let them decide what they are capable of and help them set their own goals, says Tuttle. When climbing steps at the playground, for example, tell them to go as far as they can and then decide for

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Daniel Zuckerman helps dad, Michael, with the family’s garden.

themselves if they can go farther, she says. Ask what they need to do to go one more step, such as holding your hand.

New freedoms bring challenges “We have to find a balance between letting her follow her own drumbeat and protecting her and teaching her to follow rules,” says Marshall. “Often she wants to do more than she is physically or mentally capable of doing.” She adds that it is important to pick your battles, too, making sure you’re willing to discipline the child when a rule is broken. “It’s challenging to remember that he’s operating on toddler time and to make sure we allow for that in planning our day,” says Zuckerman. “When we need to get moving, that means very little to him because the exploration and discovery is so important. “I usually explain what we need to do and why and then do a countdown, say-

ing, ‘You have five seconds to get into your car seat or I will put you in myself’ — even in that situation he has some control because I have given him a choice.”

Benefits of independence “Each time he tries something new — even if he does not succeed at it initially — he is learning the reward and value of trying new things and taking risks, the need to practice new skills, and how to regroup from disappointment,” Zuckerman says. Meanwhile, while toddlers have a need for independence, they still require lots of affection and comfort to feel secure, says Tuttle. “There’s a time to see what they can do and a time to be snuggled and babied,” she says. Pam J. Hecht is a freelance writer and editor based in Asheville, North Carolina. E-mail her at pamjh8@gmail.com.

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EASING

separation anxiety By Lockie Hunter ◆ WNC Parent contributor

Separation anxiety often comes from tackling a new beginning. A new bed at night or a new routine may prompt tears and frustration. “Symptoms of the anxiety of separation are pretty obvious,” says Dr. Olson Huff, co-author of “The Triumphant Child.” “Crying, wailing and difficulty being consoled are all part of the picture.”

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Experiencing something new, no matter how exciting, can be difficult for a toddler and can lead to separation anxiety.

Toddlers also look at life through a very literal lens and live in the now. Understanding these things helps us know how to comfort them when they are anxious or sad.

Easing discomfort

Gregory advises that since toddlers are easily distracted, the most effective way to comfort Toddler psychology them may be to distract them “in Experiencing a new beginning, no the moment.” One suggestion is to matter how wonderful and exciting, ask for the child’s assistance in can be difficult at any age, but espe- doing something that will help others. cially for a toddler. “Toddlers are proud to help,” “The most important thing to remember about separation anxiety notes Gregory “and will enjoy being asked. It is also lovely to use is that it represents a deep fear of nature and the wonders of nature loss,” says Huff. Even though children as young as to entice their little minds to other 6 months of age begin to develop an things.” Gregory does caution us to understanding of object permanence, this does not lessen their fear consider our body language. Are we at eye level with the child? Are of being left without their favorite we smiling in a reassuring way? face. Are we giving that child eye conNan Gregory, co-owner/director tact? “All of these things are subtle of Asheville Montessori School, ways to offer great reassurance.” adds that it is important to look at the toddler in light of child development. Larger transitions “Toddlers look at everything through their own eyes, from a ‘meOnce your toddler transitions centered’ perspective,” she says. to preschool, the separation anxi-

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ety can intensify. “Because they are literal, it is very, very important that goodbye really means goodbye,” cautions Gregory. “Once the word is said, it is important to follow through by leaving promptly and confidently, with a smile on your face. This sends your child the message that you trust that she will be well at school and you trust the teachers to help care for her.” Gregory says she feels that preparing a child mentally for a new beginning is very important. “For example, meeting the teacher ahead of time, taking your child’s picture with the teacher, exploring the classroom, or making a picture book about the child’s new beginning are all ideas that we give our parents of new students to help them transition,” she says.

Bedtime routines Though not departing physically, falling asleep can be viewed as separation. Sometimes that reluctance to go to bed can be caused by anxiety about drifting away to sleep. Huff suggests parents never close the door of a room of a fearful child when she is experiencing separation anxiety. If your child awakens at night and is fearful, gentle reassurances of your presence (a pat on the back, a soothing lullaby and a night light) help.

Power of touch “Some young children can be comforted through touch,” adds Gregory. “A reassuring hug can wipe away a lot of worries for a toddler.” Asheville’s Jackie McHargue tells this story of her daughter Avery. “She has this one position, ever since she was a baby, that she will crawl into on me for comfort. She curls like a half moon and nestles in. Absolutely precious as a baby and toddler — quite a bit more challenging as a 5-year-old in the 97th percentile for height.” But it works for Avery and it works for McHargue. “There is something safe, warm and familiar when she does this.”

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Good eating starts now By Barbara Blake ◆ WNC Parent writer Does your toddler feed her green beans to the dog? Does your 2-yearold turn up his nose at anything beyond chicken nuggets and mac and cheese? Trying to instill healthy eating habits, along with an appreciation for a wide assortment of foods, is just one of the many challenges of navigating toddlerhood. But dietitians and nutrition experts say employing certain tech-

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niques from an early age will lead to a lifetime of healthy choices, and can help ward off the “I hate vegetables” battle that can dominate the dinner conversation if children are allowed to call all the nutritional shots. Cyndi Pittman, pediatric dietitian with Mission Children’s Hospital’s Reuter Outpatient Center, and Bernadette Cranford, a pediatric occupational therapist at the hospi-

tal’s Huff Center, offered some tips and strategies for raising children who will enjoy an array of healthy foods, from avocados to zucchini. “Children tend to have individualized food preferences; however, in order to become flexible eaters, they should be offered a wide variety of developmentally appropriate textures and flavors,” Cranford said. “It may take repeated offerings for your child to explore and taste certain foods, but the more they are exposed, the more comfortable and flexible they are likely to become.” Pittman said she disapproves of bribing or tricks to get children to eat certain foods, “because the child potentially won’t trust the cook.” “If the culture of the family is to eat a wide variety of foods, then the child will become accustomed to this culture,” she said. “Foods should be offered frequently, but never force a child to eat something. And the parents should try preparing the food different ways before giving up.”

FOODS THAT MAY CAUSE CHOKING Whole corn; whole grapes; hot dogs; meat chunks, unless finely chopped; sausage links; nuts, unless finely chopped; peanut butter; popcorn; raisins, unless cooked; raw apples; raw vegetables; gumdrops; hard candy; jelly beans.

Cranford said children should eat meals and snacks while seated, without distractions. “It’s difficult for them to learn about new foods if they are on the go, playing or watching TV,” she said. One of the great things about toddlers, she said, is that their tastes change frequently. “Don’t give up — if your child doesn’t

like a food today, it doesn’t mean that they may not like it in the future,” Cranford said. “So keep offering that food, and model eating a variety of foods for them.” Even if a child enjoys healthy foods such as fresh vegetables and raw fruits, Continues on Page 13

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Eating habits Continued from Page 11

there is the potential for getting stuck on just a few choices and rebuffing others. “Vary the brands, flavors and presentation of the foods so children don’t get stuck on one type and refuse others,” Cranford said. For example, if a child will eat broccoli only if it’s covered with cheese, try introducing it in a healthy stir-fry with carrots, peppers and lean meats or other vegetables the child enjoys. Once parents identify which foods are their child’s favorites, it’s best to rotate them as they introduce new foods. “Don’t offer the same foods every day,” Cranford said. “Especially when it comes to their favorite foods, skip a day or two between offerings.” Another tip is to engage children in the preparation and cooking process, Cranford and Pittman said. Children who feel some ownership or connection to the food are more likely to enjoy eating it. Pittman said she doesn’t recommend using food as a reward, although the occasional ice cream cone or pastry is fine. “All foods fit, on occasion, but we don’t need ice cream or major ‘treats’ every day,” she said. Parents are the ultimate guardians of their children’s nutritional health, Pittman and Cranford said, and being good role models is the most important key to instilling healthy eating habits in their kids. For example, the best way to end up with children who prefer fresh fruit over doughnuts is for the child to see mom or dad crunching on a crisp apple or handful of berries on a regular basis, while passing up the apple fritters on the deli aisle.

MEALTIME TIPS FROM THE AMERICAN DIETETIC ASSOCIATION Before the meal: Involve your child in food shopping and food preparation. The toddler may wash vegetables, wipe the table or tear lettuce. Make sure the eating area is quiet and pleasant; turn off the TV or radio so your child is not distracted. Plan a few minutes of quiet time before each meal; a tired or excited child may not be interested in eating. Use child-sized plates and cups; eating utensils with short, broad, solid handles and forks with blunt tines are best for little fingers. Seat your child at a table for meals and snacks, and do not allow him or her to eat while walking or playing. During the meal: A quick rule of thumb for serving sizes for toddlers is one tablespoon per year of age. Continue encouraging finger feeding by serving foods such as soft meat, steamed vegetables, bread, and cheese in cubes or in strips. Toddlers generally don’t like foods to be combined — don’t worry if your child wants to take apart sandwiches and pizza. Model healthy eating habits and manners. Present desserts and sweets as the usual last course of the meal; do not use sweets as a reward for finishing a meal. This teaches your child that dessert is

the best part of a meal, increases a taste for sweet foods and may cause the child to eat fewer nonsweet foods. If your child refuses new foods: Offer your child just one bite of a new food. It’s best not to trick, bribe or force a child to try a new food. Provide a mix of favorite foods, along with a small amount of a new or previously disliked food. If your child refuses a food after three attempts, reintroduce it after several days or weeks, because a child’s preference and appetite often changes. Source: The American Dietetic Association

GENERAL NUTRITION TIPS ◆ Toddlers should drink whole milk because they need the extra fat and calories for brain development; they can change to lower-fat milk by age 2. ◆ Make sure you remove any seeds, pits, stems or other parts of fruits and vegetables that could cause choking. ◆ Do not short-order cook for your child, because that will continue to limit the variety of foods they accept. Offer a wide variety of foods

on a daily basis. ◆ Look at your child’s food intake over five to seven days, not on a meal-to-meal basis, because children will eat more on some days than on others. As long as your child is following the correct growth curve, he or she is getting adequate calories for growth. Source: North American Society for Pediatric Gastroenterology, Hepatology and Nutrition (naspghan.org.)

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PHOTO BY JOHN FLETCHER

Brenda Guilfoyle sits with her grandchildren, Bryleigh and Joshua, as toddlers listen to Ron Jacobs during story time at the North Asheville Library.

Off to a smart start

Early education experiences give little ones a boost By Mike McWilliams WNC Parent contributor In the Wilson household, learning doesn’t start with school. Karen Wilson’s children, ages 2 and 5, have both attended Toddler Time at the North Asheville library branch, a free program full of song, stories and art. And the learning continues at home: Each has a little bookcase filled with their favorite tales. “I think it obviously helps them learn and stimulates the brain,” Wilson, of Weaverville, said of early education. “They’re so young at this age that they suck up so much information and people take it for granted.” Studies have historically shown that

early childhood education leads to greater chances of academic success later in life. And programs like child story times offered at most public libraries are a great way to stimulate your child’s mind and build socialization skills, experts say. “Early childhood education has been proven as the solution to issues like the achievement gap and school dropout, but it has also been proven to be cost effective for our society,” said Kristina Gawrgy Campbell, spokeswoman for the Washington-based National Association for the Education of Young Children. “According to research … society reaps a 10 percent per annum return by investing in early childhood education, especially for children who are disadvantaged.”

Read, read, read

Early education can be as simple as picking up a book at home. It’s also never too early to start reading to your child, said Roya Scales, an assistant professor of literacy education at Western Carolina University in Cullowhee. Scales, who has a 6-month-old son, read to him in the womb, and she and her husband read to him daily. “Exposure is definitely key and the earlier you can expose your children to books and have a love of books is very important,” Scales said. “Books with big bright pictures, repetitive text, books that maybe spotlight colors or shape or textures, those are really appropriate concepts for very young children.” Numerous “indestructible” books are

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available for children, including books with crinkle pages, washable books or other books children can touch and chew on should they feel the need, Scales said. Although reading to your child every day is ideal, it doesn’t have to be for very long to be effective, Scales said. Most children’s books are short, so spending 10 minutes or as much time as you can spare will help. Reading to your toddler also prepares them for school. Scales taught kindergarten for nearly a decade in Forsyth County and said children whose parents read to them before the first day of class were better prepared than those students who had no books in their home. It’s important, however, to not put too much pressure on your child to read, Scales said. “You never want it to be a chore. You never want to force your child to sit still and be quiet,” Scales said. “We want a natural love and curiosity when it comes to books. It’s easy for parents to want their child to be at the top of their class by the time they get through kindergarten, but we need to be careful not to push our children too hard because if we do, it will negate that love of reading and become artificial.”

Beyond books Using sticky notes to identify items around the house is another good way to stimulate learning in your toddler, Scales said. Games like I Spy as well as verbal storytelling also enhance a child’s descriptive language skills, which also helps them make better sense of the written word. Ron Jacobs, children specialist at the Buncombe County Public Libraries branch in North Asheville, read several books during a recent Toddler Time, but his engagement with his young audience wasn’t limited to what he could read off pages. With a shiny harmonica pressed to his lips, Jacobs blew the notes to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,” while the mini chorus tried to sing along. After the concert, the children made their own twinkling little stars out of construction paper. “I find with the younger ones, the songs and the movement stuff, that really gets them going,” said Jacobs. “But you can really watch as they get older, as they get ready to go to the next level, they focus more on listening.”

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Taming your toddler

Experts offer suggestions for smoothing out the limit-testing behaviors of 1- and 2-year-olds By Barbara Blake WNC Parent writer

id you realize that it’s your toddler’s job to drive you crazy? In a very real sense, it’s true. Everyone’s heard of the “terrible 2s.” And while some parents may enjoy the luxury of sailing through that period without noticeable strife, many will experience multiple hair-pulling moments as their toddlers navigate their way through the second and third years of life. But it’s the parents’ job to guide them through it safely, both physically and emotionally. “Once your child moves on to toddlerhood after age 1, it is important to begin setting limits and disciplining,” said Dr. Melissa Thingvoll, developmental-behav-

ioral pediatrician with the Olson Huff Center for Child Development. “Although your toddler will certainly protest the new rules, these limits are essential for guiding your child down the path of life, and limitsetting will help your child learn right vs. wrong, safe vs. dangerous.” The most important thing parents should realize is that “it is their toddler’s job and duty to look for and test these limits.” “Your child is not ‘being bad’ or purposely trying to upset you; they are simply going through an important and unavoidable developmental phase,” Thingvoll said. “As a parent, it helps to remind yourself of this often, and to remember that

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even though your toddler may resist your limits now, in the long run they will be happier, more well-adjusted children,” she said. “Children without limits can feel insecure, anxious and out of control.” There are a number of techniques parents can use to survive and thrive during the toddler years. We asked Thingvoll, along with Gwen Edwards, a healthy social behaviors specialist with the Southwestern Child Development Commission Inc., to share some tips.

Think positive Edwards likes to point parents to the website for the Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention (challengingbehavior.org/ communities/families/htm) for an eight-point tutorial on

toddler discipline — and particularly Tip No. 6: “Catch Your Child Being Good.” “Instead of waiting for your child to do something ‘wrong’ and responding in a negative way, try to catch your child being good,” Edwards said. “Did you ever think about how much time you spend telling your child what he should not do? Instead, try giving specific, positive attention to the behavior that you want to see. This will teach your child what you want him to do and increase the likelihood that this behavior will occur again and again.” “Praise, praise, praise,” Thingvoll said. “Be specific about the behavior you are happy about, i.e., ‘I love the way you put your shoes away when we came inside — you

The key to using time outs effectively is to keep them consistent, remain calm and discipline children when misbehavior occurs, even in public. SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

Continues on Page 18

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Testing limits

DISCIPLINE TIPS

Continued from Page 17

are so helpful.’ This not only reinforces the behavior you want her to keep doing, but also gives her a sense of accomplishment and pride.” Making a checkmark on the back of the hand, or using a sticker chart for older toddlers, can serve as a visual reinforcement of good behavior throughout the day, Thingvoll said.

Be consistent

“Consistency is the basis for effective discipline; if you only enforce a rule some of the time, your toddler will keep pushing the boundary to see if this might be one of the times they can get away with it,” Thingvoll said. “Don’t set limits you know you can’t enforce – there are certain battles you will never be able to win by force alone, such as eating, sleeping and using the potty,” she said. Thingvoll said it’s important for parents to keep their voices low, clear and firm when disciplining “to let your child know you’re the boss and you mean business.” At the same time, it’s OK to be creative about limit-setting. “Be silly, create a game, challenge your child to a race to see who can put the most toys in the toy box the fastest,” Thingvoll said. “This can go a long way in getting kids to do things they really don’t want to do, without even realizing it.” Another tip is to try to distract or redirect undesirable behavior before it happens, which can avoid battles and tantrums in the first place, she said.

‘When … then’

Edwards is a supporter of the “When … then” contingency statement that is a simple instruction telling a child what he or she must do in order to earn a desired consequence. For example, if Susie wants to go into the yard barefoot, don’t say, "No — put on your shoes.” An alternative approach would be, “When you put on your shoes, then you may go outside.”

Dr. Melissa Thingvoll offers these three types of discipline that work best for toddlers: 1. Ignoring: Not to be used for serious infractions (hitting, biting, etc.) but effective for irritating behaviors like whining, clinging, begging, screaming. “Toddlers are constantly seeking attention from others; continuing to provide attention to negative behavior only encourages it to continue." 2. Loss of privileges: Immediately take away a privilege that is directly related to the misbehavior, i.e., if your toddler hits his sister with his toy bat, take away the bat. 3. Time out: Can be started after the 1st birthday and can be very effective throughout toddlerhood and the preschool years. Be calm, don’t say much and don’t show

“Give it a positive focus, state it only once, set a reasonable time limit and follow through,” Edwards said.

Offer choices

“For older toddlers, a willingness to compromise and the ability to provide the child with a sense of some control can be quite effective,” Thingvoll said. “For example, when getting dressed in the morning, provide your toddler with two or three choices of outfits to pick from, and let him choose for himself. “This allows your child to assert his own opinion, making it more likely he will be willing to cooperate with the request to get dressed,” she said. “If you let your toddler win many small struggles, he will be more likely to give in and comply with your directions when it really matters, because he has felt like his opinion is often respected as well.” Edwards cites Tip No. 4 from the TACSEI website, to offer limited, reasonable choices. An example: Dad has arrived at child care to pick up his son, and he doesn’t want to get into his car seat. “One way to avoid a struggle would be to say, ‘The car won’t start until you get buckled in your seat. Do you want to climb up in there yourself, or do you want Daddy to put you in?’ ”

too much emotion. Always do time outs the same way. ◆ The length of the time out should be equivalent in minutes to the child’s age in years, i.e., two minutes for a 2-year-old. ◆ Have a few kitchen timers handy in different parts of the house for time out. ◆ Ideally, time outs can and should occur if misbehavior occurs when you are out in public – plan ahead and be creative. A small, flexible plastic mat can be used as a portable time out chair in the grocery store, for example. ◆ Once the time out is over, move on. Don’t dwell on or nag your child about the behavior again. For toddlers, the time out should be the full “payment” for breaking the rule.

Methods to avoid

“Avoid hurtful words, intimidation, mocking and use of force,” Thingvoll said. “It’s better to criticize the action, not the child. Otherwise you can break her spirit and create anger and resentment, leading to a risk for continued behavior problems in the future.” She also opposes hitting, spanking, slapping or swatting. “As people, we all want to be treated with kindness, dignity and respect,” Thingvoll said. “Hitting only reinforces the idea that it is OK for big people to hit little people, and serves to significantly increase the chance that your child will continue to engage in aggressive behavior in the future.” Thingvoll said the most important message to parents is to not be hard on themselves. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent,” she said. “Even as a developmental-behavioral pediatrician, nothing has prepared me for the challenge and frustration of parenting my own toddlers, who will be 3 in October. “Being a parent is the hardest, most important and most fulfilling job you will ever have, so be optimistic, have a positive attitude and enjoy your children,” Thingvoll said. “And remember, toddlerhood won’t last forever.”

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Plan on having kids? Better start saving now for their college education By Mike McWilliams WNC Parent contributor Forget making lists of baby names or picking out paint colors for the nursery. The best way to prep for the new baby: start saving for that college degree 18 years down the road. It’s what banker Jarrod Perkins would do. “If you plan on having kids at all, start then,” said Perkins, who manages Asheville Savings

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Bank’s downtown location. “College tuition since 1979 has gone up like 8 percent a year, so it’s best to start as early as possible.” The average published price of tuition and fees for in-state students at four-year public colleges in the U.S. is $7,020 in 2009-10, which is 6.5 percent more than the previous school year, according to the not-forprofit N.Y.-based College Board. Swift cost increases are hitting close to home: The UNC

Board of Governors last summer passed last minute tuition hikes, meaning that undergraduate, in-state students at UNC Asheville, for example, will pay $82 more for tuition this coming school year, followed by a $347 hike in the 2011-12 session.

529 plans Deciding to save is the easy part; determining how to save is when it gets complicated. One of the most popular choices is the 529 college savings plan. These are investment accounts that allow you to set aside money for your child’s education and let it grow tax-free. The federal government won’t tax your withdrawal as long as it’s used for higher education. Any family can contribute to a 529 account regardless of income. It doesn’t take much money to start an account and the funds can be used at any accredited college or university in the country. The 529 program started in North

Carolina in 1998 and as of July, there were 80,534 account holders, with more than $606 million invested, said Ben Kittner, spokesman for College Foundation Inc. in Raleigh. “The 529 plan is a good choice for the people of North Carolina,” Kittner said. “There are low fees, and we have multiple investment options ranging from aggressive to conservative and we have an age-based plan, which automatically changes the mix of investments as the child gets closer to college.” This plan works for Kristy Ferguson, of Asheville. She and her husband have a 529 account in place for their 2-year-old son Michael. Ferguson said it makes sense to start saving now to let the money accrue versus waiting until Michael turns 10, 11 or 12. “(College) costs are going up so fast so that way we’ll hopefully be guaranteed at least some savings for college,” she said.

MORE INFORMATION For details on saving for college, including information on financial aid and how to enroll in the 529 plan, visit The College Foundation of North Carolina’s website, cfnc.org.

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Save for college Continued from Page 21

IRAs and saving Traditional Individual Retirement Accounts and Roth IRAs are other ways to save for retirement or college while avoiding significant taxes. In a deductible IRA, your annual contributions are tax deductible, but when you withdraw money from the account, you’ll be taxed on both your contributions and your earnings. In a Roth IRA, your contributions are not tax deductible, but your earnings are tax-free if you withdraw them after the required five-year holding period and use the money for qualified expenses such as college tuition. Another good way to save is to have a portion of each paycheck directly deposited into a savings account set up specifically for your child’s education, Perkins said. One of the most important steps to take is to go ahead and make a plan for how much you want to save. Then find out how much tuition might be when your child starts school and set goals. There are numerous websites that have tuition calculators and other features to help parents plan like savingforcollege.com. “It could be $10 or 10 percent. If you don’t see it, you don’t have a chance to spend it, and that’s a great way to save,” Perkins said. “Make sure you actually stick to that goal and don’t dip into that (account) no matter what. If it’s in the child’s name, you’ll feel bad for taking it out.” There’s also nothing wrong with having your child deposit some of their allowance or money they make in their college fund, Perkins said. And don’t forget to research the bevy of scholarships and grants available out there. “There are so many out there that people wouldn’t even think about,” Perkins said. “Obviously, it’s worth trying to save before that, but if not, you do what you can.”

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Fall festival fun

Here’s a roundup of the family fun you’ll find this month around Western North Carolina. For the rest of October’s calendar, see Page 62.

Corn mazes

Blue Ridge Corn Maze, 1605 Everett Road, Pisgah Forest. Offers a six-acre maze. By appointment Monday-Friday; 2-8 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. blueridgecornmaze.com. Eliada “Fields of Fun” Maze, 2 Compton Drive, Asheville. Five miles from downtown. Try the “cow train” for younger children, the hay bale maze and play in the corn box. $9 for adults, $7 for children ages 5-12 and free for children younger than 5. Group rates. Visit fieldsoffun.org or call 254-5356, ext. 157. Hickory Nut Gap Farm, 57 Sugar Hollow Road, Fairview. Farm offers a corn maze, pumpkin patch, face painting, pony rides, apples and more. Enjoy fresh-pressed cider and visit with the farm’s animals. Admission is $5 for adults (17 and older), $3 for children ages 5-16 and free for children 4 and younger. Group rates. Call 628-1027 or visit hickorynutgapfarm.com. Cold Mountain Corn Maize, 4168 Pisgah Drive, along N.C. 110, south of Canton. 648-8575.

Train rides

The Great Pumpkin Patch Express. Oct. 1-3, 8-10, 15-17 and 22-24. Ride the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad with Snoopy, Charlie Brown and friends. Listen to a narration of “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” Children select pumpkin to take home. Tickets are $31 for ages 2-12 and $53 for adults, with premium tickets available. Departs 11:30 a.m. or 3 p.m. depending on day. 800-8724681 or gsmr.com. Ghost Train Halloween Festival, Tweetsie Railroad in Blowing Rock. Oct. 1-2, 8-9, 15-16, 22-23 and 29-30. Safe, scary fun for all ages on Friday and Saturday nights in October. Admission $27 (age 2 and under are free). 800-526-5740 or visit tweetsie.com.

Festivals Oct. 2

Farm City Day, Jackson Park in Hendersonville. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Daylong event with antique and modern farm equipment, music, square dancing, clogging, food, petting zoo and more. historichendersonville.org Fiesta Latina 2010, WNC Ag Center, Fanning Bridge Road, Fletcher. Noon-8 p.m. Masquerade Faire and 5K Race, Montessori Cooperative School, 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Race at 9 a.m., Fun Run at 11 a.m. Field day activities, food, more. Call 891-6335 or e-mail MontessoriCooperativeSchool@yahoo.com.

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Tour the old Land of Oz theme park, including an enchanted forest and Dorothy’s House, at Beech Mountain. The park opens only once a year (Oct. 2-3 this year). Scarecrow Festival, Lake Julian Park, off Long Shoals Road, Asheville. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Crafts, scarecrow contest, food and more. Visit buncombecounty.org. 25th Annual Music in the Mountains Folk Festival, Burnsville Town Center. 5-8 p.m. Songs, stories, various musical styles in the old-timey tradition.

a.m. cherokee-nc.com

Oct. 9

Oct. 2-3

30th Annual Apple Festival, Boone. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Hey Day, WNC Nature Center, 75 Gashes Creek Road, Asheville. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Games, crafts, music, animals and more. 298-5600, wildwnc.org. Mineral City Heritage Festival, Spruce Pine. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Food, crafts, children’s activities and more. sprucepinefestivals.com Mountain Glory Festival, Marion. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Street festival with arts and crafts, food, quilt show, children’s area, more. mtngloryfestival.com W.D. Williams Elementary Fall Festival, 161 Bee Tree Road, Swannanoa. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Inflatables, games, face painting, more.

Oct. 5-9

Oktoberfest, Sugar Mountain Resort. Food, music, crafts, lift rides, more. Children’s activity center in Ski School Play Yard, noon-4 p.m. each day, $7. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. skisugar.com

Land of Oz in Beech Mountain. Tour the old Land of Oz theme park. Hayride or shuttle from Beech Mountain to enchanted forest with live music, tour of Dorothy’s house, an Oz museum and more. Trips at 10 a.m., noon and 2 p.m. Tickets are $16.50 in advance, $20 day of (ages 2 and under free). Not accessible to wheelchairs or large strollers. bandtastic.com/autumnatoz.

98th Annual Cherokee Indian Fair at Cherokee Indian Fair Grounds, U.S. 441 in Cherokee. Entertainment, midway games, food and traditional and contemporary arts and crafts. $10. Opens at 10

Oct. 9-10

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Oct. 14-17

Lake Eden Arts Festival at Camp Rockmont in Black Mountain. Weekend of art, music and outdoor fun. theleaf.com.

Oct. 15

North Buncombe Elementary School PTO’s Fall Festival, 251 Flat Creek Church Rd., Weaverville. 5-8:30 p.m. Carnival games, crafts, karaoke, performers, inflatables and carnival-type foods. Tickets for games, booths and food items can be purchased onsite. E-mail bethfk@gmail.com.

Oct. 15-16

Mountain Music Jamboree, Maggie Valley. 926-9658.

Oct. 16

22nd Apple Harvest Festival, downtown Waynesville. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Arts, crafts, entertainment, food and apples. haywood-nc.com Groce United Methodist Fall Festival, 954 Tunnel Road, East Asheville. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Storytelling, puppets, face painting, inflatable, live entertainment, bake sale, pumpkin sale and more. Jammin’ at the Mill Pond, Haywood Community College, Freedlander Drive, Clyde. Bluegrass, molasses making demonstration, barbecue and catfish meals for sale, jammin’ areas, alumni gathering tent, corn shucking. Free gospel concert at 7 p.m. 627-4522. Presbyterian Home Fall Festival, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., 80 Lake Eden Road, Black Mountain. Wagon rides, food, silent auction, Lego building competition, games, music and more. To enter Lego Dream Cottage contest, e-mail pscouten@presyterianhomeforchildren.org or call 686-3451, ext. 29. presbyterianhomeforchildren.org. Shepherds Care Autumn Festival, Lake Lure. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Arts and crafts festival with children’s area. lakelurartsandcraftsfestivals.com

PHOTO BY JOHN FLETCHER

Eleven-year-old Itzel Cruz takes her turn at hitting the pinata during Fiesta Latina at the WNC Ag Center in Fletcher. This year’s event is Oct. 2.

Oct. 22-23

Franklin Pumpkin Fest, Franklin. Hayrides, a Pumpkin Roll, more. renewingfranklin.org/pumpkinfest.html.

Halloween Oct. 23

Howl-O-Ween, WNC Nature Center, 1-8 p.m. Crafts, snacks, costume contest, entertainment, games and more. Adults $8, children (ages 3-15) $4, free for 2 and younger. 298-5600, wildwnc.org.

Oct. 30

Halloween Carnival, Kate’s Park in Fletcher, 3-5 p.m. for children 11 and younger. Games, face painting, prizes and costume contest. 687-0751, fletcherparks.org. Halloween Costume Parade, Dillsboro, 5-8 p.m. with

Oct. 31

Oct. 17

HardLox Jewish food and heritage festival at Pack Square Park, downtown Asheville. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Traditional Jewish music and dance, crafts, food and children’s activities. hardloxjewishfestival.org

Oct. 21-24

Craft Fair of the Southern Highlands, at Asheville Civic Center. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Oct. 21-23, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Oct. 24. southernhighlandguild.org

parade at 6 p.m. Family-oriented costume parade with contest. visitdillsboro.org Haunted Hoedown Extravaganza, St. James School for Little Folks at St. James Episcopal Church, Parish Hall, 766 N. Main St., Hendersonville, 3-5 p.m.. Pumpkin carving, hayride, Halloween film, crafts, games, more. Come in costume. $5 per child, with some events costing extra. Haunted Lagoon, Zeugner Center, behind Roberson High School, Arden. Noon-3 p.m. Face painting, costume contest at 12:30, swimming, trick-or-treat. Admission is a can of food for MANNA FoodBank plus $2 for those who want to swim. 684-5072 or buncombecounty.org. Teen Halloween Party, East Asheville Library, 902 Tunnel Road, 3-4:30 p.m. Games, candy, ghost stories, spookiness. Wear a costume if you dare. Ages 11-18. 250-4738. Trick-or-Treat Street, downtown Hendersonville, 4:30-7:30 p.m.. Costume contest and entertainment at the gazebo on Main Street. Call 697-2022. Trunk-or-Treat, Mud Creek Baptist Church, 403 Rutledge Drive, Hendersonville, 3 p.m. 692-1262.

PHOTO BY STEVE DIXON

Merrick Walder dances to the Bandana Klezmer Band at HardLox, which is Oct. 17.

Fall Family Festival, First Baptist Church of Asheville, 5 Oak St. 5-8 p.m. Pony rides, hay rides, inflatables, games, concessions, live music and more. Costume contest (no scary costumes). Rain or shine. Visit fbca.net. Family Fun Fest, Covenant Community Church, 11 Rocket Drive, Asheville. 4-6 p.m. Non-scary costumes, bounce houses, hot dogs. Light Up the Night! at Beaverdam Baptist Church, 399 Beaverdam Road, Asheville. 4 p.m. Games, candy, blow up attractions and more for all ages.

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halloween

Too scary? Keeping kids (and their psyches) safe

By Pam J. Hecht ◆ WNC Parent contributor Little pumpkins everywhere eagerly await the fanciful fun of Halloween. But even the biggest kids on the block can get spooked if it’s too scary. But how do you know what’s too scary? It depends on the child, says Connie Hays, a child and family therapist based in Asheville, and “there’s no exact answer.” “Some kids are more fearful and have more vivid imaginations than others and you’ll need to be more careful with them,” Hays says. “Young children still have trouble differentiating real life from make believe and when someone is in a mask, it’s real to them,” adds Bruce Henderson, a psychology professor specializing in child development at Western Carolina University in Cullowhee. “But there is almost no way to predict what will frighten a young child — a parent should explain that all is pretend and hope (for the best),” adds psychologist and online parenting

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expert Susan Newman. “The quirkiest costume with no fear factor might set off your child while his best friend just laughs.” Meanwhile, until the age of about 10, it’s better not to expose kids to very scary things in general, says Hays. “They don’t have the emotional maturity to process them, and at ages 6 to 10, fears can be at their worst, even in kids who aren’t usually anxious or fearful,” Hays explains. “But as kids get older, it gets easier because they know what scares them and are able to tell you about it.” Whether or not something is scary also depends on a child’s experiences, adds Henderson. Kids who watch horror movies at home or have been around scary costumes get desensitized, he says. Also, older children in the family, who aren’t exposed as early to scary images such as those found in movies or TV, may scare easier than their younger siblings. “A parent’s job is to listen and follow a child’s lead,” says Newman. “If (your Continues on Page 28

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Evan, left, and Cameron Cammisa get ready to trick-or-treat. Pam Cammissa says her sons “love the spooky aspects of Halloween and want to be scary and a little scared, but on a kids’ level.”

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Too scary?

not be too scary but if a parent tried putting it on him/her, it might be, he explains. Let your child know if something might be scary and ask if he/she still wants to do it, Hays adds.

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child) doesn’t want to answer the doorbell for trick-or-treaters, don’t keep asking — he/she may be fearful of older children or their costumes.” And don’t be afraid to say no to a Halloween activity, especially if you think it might turn out to be scary, Newman adds. “Parents worry their child will miss out, but missing a Halloween event is not the end of the world.” “My kids love the spooky aspects of Halloween and want to be scary and a little scared, but on a kids’ level,” says Pam Cammisa, of Biltmore Lake, who has two sons, ages 6 and 8. “We stay away from the horror type of things with severed body parts and fake blood because it scares them and is not age appropriate.” Cammisa says her sons have been scared by the displays in Halloween stores and at Blockbuster. “We talk a lot about the craft of mak-

After a scare

GNS

Face painting is a good way to be a scary creature without being too scary. The nonscary person behind the face paint is clearly identifiable. ing scary movies and outfits, and that it’s more like an art exhibit,” she adds.

Preparing for scares

It’s easier and less traumatic for a child to deal with something scary if they’re prepared for it, says Hays. Before going out trick-or-treating, for example, have a discussion about what it will be like and what’s going to happen, she says. Explain that there are regular people under the costumes, Hays adds, and if a child is scared by a person wearing a costume, ask them to take their mask off so the child can see it’s just a person. Consider a Halloween party instead of trick-or-treating for children younger than 5, says Henderson, and if you do take them trick-or-treating, stick to homes of people you’re comfortable with, so you’ll know what to expect. Giving your child control over objects and situations also lessens fear, says Henderson. For example, a mask might

“If your child gets scared, acknowledge their fear and don’t belittle it,” says Hays. “Don’t say, ‘There’s nothing to be scared of’ — instead, tell them that their reaction is understandable, talk about what it was that made them scared and help them understand the reality of the situation. “Involve kids in decorating and picking out costumes so they can see it’s all a celebration that people have put together rather than being real,” Hays adds. Read and discuss books about scary situations in which kids overcame their fears, says Henderson.

Scary after-effects Not all kids experience long-term effects from scary experiences, Hays says, but some are just wired to be more anxious and might. Some kids see a scary movie and can’t get images out of their heads, heightening anxiety and causing increased separation anxiety and sleeping difficulties, she says. “Kids are exposed to more scary things than they’re ready for in our society and many parents tend to overexpose kids to these things,” says Hays. “It’s better to err on the side of caution.” Pam J. Hecht is a freelance writer and editor based in Asheville, North Carolina. E-mail her at pamjh8@gmail.com.

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halloween

Trick-or-treating without Mom or Dad When is it OK to go alone?

By Pam J. Hecht WNC Parent contributor When some little ghosts and goblins get bigger, they long to ditch mom and dad on the trick-or-treat trail. But is it safe to send them down the street without you? It depends on both the age and maturity of the child, says Cpl. Ben Parker, of the Buncombe County Sheriffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Office.

While he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t advocate allowing kids to trick-or-treat without parents, he says those who do should stay in a group with an adult nearby. For elementary and early middle school ages, Parker recommends that one adult accompany a group of up to five kids. If parents do allow their older kids to go trick-or-treating without them, ParContinues on Page 30

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ker says it’s important to set boundaries on the time and location, stay in touch with cell phones and know who they’re with. “They should stay in lit-up areas where there are lots of people, carry flashlights and wear reflective, flameretardant clothing,” Parker adds. Maureen Sher, whose son turns 13 in January, says she would consider allowing him to trick-or-treat with his friends without an adult this year, based on his increased maturity. In the past, the family has always gone with other families. “It’s a fun time for us as well as for the kids, so we may stick with that,” says Sher, of the Reynolds community. “We let the kids go ahead of us in a pack, and we’re like the occasional sheepdogs herding them in.” If he does trick-or-treat without her, Sher says she’ll take safety precautions like requiring a definite time frame, going in a group and a well-known neigh-

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When kids are old enough to trick-or-treat by themselves, set guidelines before the event. borhood where there will be lots of other people trick-or-treating, she says. Last year, the group got separated and a few friends got “lost” from the adults, says Sher. “But cell phones rock and the

scare only lasted 15 minutes.” Danielle Moser, of South Asheville, says she’s never let her daughters, ages 7 and 13, go trick-or-treating without parents or visit homes of people that they

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or their friends don’t know. “It’s a safety factor,” Moser says, and typically, if they go trick-or-treating, the whole family walks together. “One year, we were in our close-knit neighborhood and knew everyone, so we did stand at the curb and let the girls go alone. “We wouldn’t let them go off with their friends unless we were following close behind and could see them at all times,” says Moser. “To me, safety is paramount and I’d never let even my older daughter trick-or-treat as a teen (without adult supervision) — I just don’t think it’s safe.” “I feel fortunate to live in a safe neighborhood where I know everybody,” says Rachel Fagan, of Asheville, who allowed her daughter to go trick-or-treating without her last year when she was 12. She says she required her to stay with her group of friends and return home after trick-or-treating in a designated area. Her younger kids, ages 6 and 11, trick-ortreat with either Fagan or another close adult and their friends, she says. Even though her 10-year-old daughter is very responsible and well behaved,

she must have adult supervision while trick-or-treating, says Joyce Brown, of Asheville. “I’m more worried about older teens or creepy adults who might be victimizing children on this day,” says Brown, adding that 11 or 12 may be the age when she’ll allow her daughter to go trick-ortreating with just her friends, “but with very clear-cut guidelines and a short window of time.” “I’m probably overcautious, but I worry that there might be others who use the holiday to take advantage,” says Brown. When Brown’s older daughter, now 18, went without an adult, she always had

strict instructions to stick to certain streets in the neighborhood and to be back within a certain time frame, so Brown would know exactly where she was, she says. She also “had another well-behaved friend” with her, which made Brown more comfortable. “I live in a close-knit neighborhood where I know most of my neighbors and where she could get assistance if she needed it,” says Brown. “I will probably use the same guidelines when I am ready for my younger daughter to have the freedom to go unsupervised and I might send a cell phone along with her just in case.” Above all, “play it safe (at Halloween) and don’t be complacent or too trusting,” says Parker. “There are people out there looking for an opportunity to harm our kids.” Pam J. Hecht is a freelance writer and editor based in Asheville. E-mail her at pamjh8@gmail.com.

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halloween

Chefs work magic with Halloween leftovers By Jennifer Justus Gannett

After weeks of seeing (and snacking on) all those sacks of Reese’s cups and bite-size Hershey’s bars, candy can begin to feel like less of a treat. So what to do with it? Here, three Nashville, Tenn., chefs work their magic on a Mounds bar or Halloween candy of choice. At The Capitol Grille at The Hermitage Hotel, executive pastry chef Andy Manchester has an appreciation for French macaroons, a sandwich cookie. But instead of the classic ganache filling, he

gives them a Halloween twist by sandwiching slices of Mounds bars or peanut butter cups between the delicate cookies. At Gaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center, executive pastry chef David Schwab stacks layers of decadence with a silky pie of chocolate mousse, peanut butter mousse and Reese’s cup pieces over an Oreo crust. Meanwhile, at Provence Breads & Cafe, pastry chef Megan Williams has had caramel apples on her mind as the fall weather drops in. The warm, sticky coating on the apples makes a sweet home for crushed pieces of leftover candy such as M&M’s.

Caramel apples

10-12 small apples 2 cups heavy cream 1/2 cup light corn syrup 2 cups sugar 3 tablespoons unsalted butter 1 teaspoon salt M&M’s candies, chopped in pieces and placed in a small bowl Wash and dry apples and remove stems. Insert a popsicle stick or a small wooden dowel threefourths of the way into each apple from the stem end. Fill a large metal bowl with ice and set aside. Heat the cream and corn syrup in a medium-size saucepan with straight sides. When cream is almost at a boil, add the sugar, butter and salt and stir gently over low heat until the sugar dissolves. When sugar is dissolved, increase heat to mediumhigh and clip a candy thermometer onto the side of the pan. Cook mixture to 235 degrees

(soft ball stage). Remove the pan from the heat and place it in the bowl of ice for 30 seconds to stop the cooking. Quickly dip each apple in caramel. After dipping each apple, roll

it in M&M’s to coat. Place apples on a cookie tray lined with parchment paper. Allow to cool before eating. Makes 10-12. Source: Megan Williams, pastry chef, Provence Breads & Cafe.

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Hershey’s black-bottom peanut butter pies

Crust: 2 cups Oreo cookies, crushed 1/2 cup sugar 1/4 cup butter, melted For the Chocolate Mousse: 4 3/4 tablespoons butter 8 ounces assorted Hershey’s miniatures (about 28 pieces) 8 egg yolks 2 egg whites 1/4 cup sugar 8 ounces heavy cream 8 Reese’s peanut butter cups For the Peanut Butter Mousse: 2 cups cream cheese, softened 1 3/4 cups peanut butter 1 cup sugar 3 tablespoons butter, melted 2 cups heavy cream, whipped Spray muffin pan with pan spray. Mix together the Oreo crumbs, sugar and 1/4 cup melted butter; press into individual muffin wells. Melt 4 and 3/4 tablespoons butter with assorted Hershey’s miniatures. Whip the egg yolks, egg whites and 1/4 cup of sugar until light and pale yellow in color. Whip the heavy cream to a medium peak. Fold the chocolate mixture into the egg mixture. Fold in the cream. Fill the bottom 1/3 of each muffin well with chocolate mousse. Cut up Reese’s cups and place layer on top of each chocolate mousse. Beat softened cream cheese on low speed. Add the peanut butter, 1 cup of sugar and 3 tablespoons butter. Mix until well incorporated. Fold in whipped cream. Fill the rest of each muffin cup with peanut butter mousse. Chill for at least 6 hours or overnight. To release from pan, warm the bottom slightly on the stove and remove individual pies. Source: David Schwab, executive pastry chef, Gaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center.

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kids’ voices

Kids find inspiration

Even the youngest children have their heroes, whether they’re nationally known celebrities or their hometown soccer coach. We asked fifth/sixth-grade students from Jesse Wharton’s homeroom at The Learning Community school on the campus of Camp Rockmont to name a person they admire, and explain why. Here’s what they told WNC Parent writer Barbara Blake. “I admire Rosa Parks for being stubborn in a very good way. It’s interesting because when she was standing up for her rights, she was sitting down. She reminds me that everyone, even if they are on their way home from work, can make a huge jump in history and change the lives of others.” Journey Dreyer

“I admire Amelia Earhart because of her bravery and courage. What she did changed the world and it made a huge difference in the world by her being willing to take a chance and do something new.” Sophie Roth

“I admire Shane Weems, my ABYSA/HFC soccer coach, because he is kind and great at soccer. He helps me learn how to be good at soccer. He helped me improve my passing technique.” Ethan Kadau

“I admire my swim coach, Alan Barry. He taught me almost everything I know about swimming and he motivates me to be a great swimmer. He listens to me when I have a problem.” Anne Bowers

“I admire Dave Shuler, the pitching coach for the Asheville Tourists, for inspiring me to pursue my dream of becoming a Major League Baseball player. He says to strive and strive until you achieve your goal.” Grady McIntosh

“I admire Barack Obama for doing one of the most difficult jobs on earth … keeping this whole country together. I also admire all of the presidents before him for doing the same difficult job.” Sebastian Childress

“I admire Tim Tebow, the new Denver Broncos player. He is a very good athlete and a good person. He helps in orphanages in the Philippines, too.” Micah Davis

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the artful parent

ways to inspire creative drawing

hat art activity is convenient, mess-free and can be done anywhere, by anyone from the youngest toddler to the oldest family member, with the minimum of materials? Drawing! All that is needed is paper and a drawing implement (anything from a pen, pencil, crayon, marker, chalk or pastel) and even those are not strictly necessary. People have been drawing in the dirt and sand with sticks and their own fingers for eons. Drawing is an ideal intro art activity for toddlers –

By Jean Van’t Hul

WNC PARENT COLUMNIST

it is engaging and fun from the very first scribble — yet it grows with the child, becoming more sophisticated and intricate as the child develops. As a way to activate the imagination, learn to translate what you see to paper or simply explore art materials, drawing can’t be beat. Your children probably already have access to paper and drawing tools. Change things up and challenge their creative thinking by trying one or more of the following drawing activities. Happy drawing!

2 Draw Huge (any age)

Tape a sheet of butcher paper or poster board to the floor or wall. Urge your child to draw as big as she can!

Swap Drawings (ages 3 and up) 3 Scribble

Draw Tiny (any age)

Cut several 2-inch squares out of paper and tape them to the table for your child to draw on. Alternatively, offer a sheet of blank address labels for DIY stickers.

In this activity, two or more children each scribble on a piece of paper, then trade papers and finish the other person’s drawing. Whether the scribble reminds them of a cloud, a volcano, or a person, they can add the rest of the scene as they like (including more scribbles!).

4 Hole Drawings (any age)

Cut a circle, square, or abstract shape out of a piece of paper. Watch as your child draws around the hole and incorporates the hole into his artwork in creative ways.

5 Mirror Self Portrait (ages 3 and up)

Have your child draw her portrait while looking at herself in a mirror. Washable markers or window crayons can be used directly on the mirror and will wash off easily.

6 Multi Media Drawings (any age)

Let your child draw a picture, abstract or realistic, using a variety of drawing tools. For example, he can draw with chalk, crayon, pen and pencil. Note how distinctive the different lines are.

Jean Van’t Hul blogs at The Artful Parent (artfulparent.typepad.com). E-mail her at jevanthul@yahoo.com with children’s artrelated questions or to share an experience with one of these projects.

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a dad’s view

For the love of a stuffed animal

By William Tiernan WNC Parent contributor

Children love stuffed animals. They cuddle with them, play with them, sing to them, feed them, and inject personality (and forks) into them. Stuffed animals often serve as a child’s first set of friends and the foundation for a more complex social world of communication and collaboration. My 3-year-old daughter Sophia has amassed a nice collection. She calls them her “babies.” As a toddler she relied on them for comfort, clutching a cat or duck after a head bump or a bad dream. But recently the dynamic changed. Sophia now lords over her stuffed animals, and a hierarchal arrangement has developed within the menagerie. Babies with insipid personalities or incurable injuries (“Martin” the elephant recently got “detruckitated”) form the lower class. They live in Sophia’s baby cradle, trapped like crabs in a bucket with little hope for advancement. The middle class exists on the periphery, living comfortable if not exceptional lives on bookshelves and in closets. The elite are members of Sophia’s entourage. They enjoy her full attention and have reasonable access to entertainment, education, medical care, travel … and BLING! The elite babies are comprised of loyal canines, a handful of misfits, and brand new stuffed animals that arrive weekly in the mail from Sophia’s grandmothers. The current group: a tiny Golden Retriever (“Baby Bones”), a

midsize Golden Retriever (“Mamma Bones”), a life-size Golden Retriever (“Big Bones”), an Akita (“Rainbow”), a brown and white mutt (“Puddles”), a black cat (“Ditsy”), a wolf (“Aiesha”), a lamb (“Jeremy Boy”), and a pink dragon with golden wings (“Scary Guy!”). Sophia tends diligently to these babies. She arranges them on blankets for story time, rubs their paws, adorns them with jewelry and stickers, and patches their “injuries” with Band-Aids. She’s also firm with them. She scolds them when they stray under beds and punishes egregious mistakes. A few weeks ago Puddles walked too close to the oven. Sophia banished him to “time-out” for 10 minutes. The dog hasn’t been near the kitchen since. Sophia insists an elite baby accom-

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pany her when we go to the store or the park. Sometimes it takes her 10 minutes to choose. When she (finally!) decides, I place a check mark in that baby’s box on a master spreadsheet posted near the door. This working document highlights any favoritism; Sophia knows, literally, who is being left behind. Sophia makes a point to introduce her traveling babies to strangers (“This is Baby Bones, he’s nice to meep you.”) and may indulge them with licks of ice cream or rides on the swing. But she’s concerned more for their security than their social experience. All babies must look both ways before crossing the street, stay close to her in stores, and wear seat belts while riding in shopping carts. (Big Bones has to buckle up in the car!) A few weeks ago Sophia left Puddles in Barnes and Noble. Panic! “We go get him! We go get him!” she pleaded, until the dog was recovered. As I watch Sophia tend to her babies I realize her parenting centers on three things: education, discipline and protection. That’s all she cares about really: that her babies are literate (or at the very least good listeners); that they behave; and that they’re safe and accounted for. Being fairly new parents ourselves, my wife and I might be well-served to take a page from Sophia’s playbook. Sure, we do our best in the keep-up-with-yourneighbor climate. Last year we bought a safer car; we make sure Sophia has nice clothes and shoes and a cool lunchbox; and we attend her music performances at preschool and take the obligatory pictures and videos. As she grows older we’ll sign Sophia up for singing lessons, or buy her the latest tennis racket or spring for the expensive SAT class. Because all the support in the world might help her secure a spot in the school play or on the high school tennis team or in the class of 2019 at College X, Y or Z. But the other night, as I watched Sophia wrap Mamma Bones in her sleeping blanket, it hit me: Wanting the world for my daughter is all fine and good. But literate, well-behaved, and safely tucked in her bed at night? On most days these will be more than enough for me. William Tiernan is an author, freelance writer and communications consultant in Asheville. E-mail him at wstiernan72@yahoo.com.

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growing together

A letter to moms of the littlest ones

By Chris Worthy WNC Parent columnist

I saw you in the soup aisle, and I instantly recognized the look on your face. My half-smile and nod to you probably didn’t convey very much, so I am giving it another shot. You probably felt all alone in the world while your little one cried there in the shopping cart. All you wanted to do was buy the dang groceries and get out as quickly as possible, right? But a missed nap or a tooth coming through at the most inopportune moment — or who knows what — left you both at wit’s end.

I wanted to take your little one in my arms and walk her around the store for a while, bouncing her and singing Beatles tunes. It would have been no effort at all for me because I had a good night’s sleep and my babies can now cook their own meals and function mostly like semi-adults. I really did want to, and perhaps I should have asked. I thought that might cross the line from caring to creepy, and I put my comfort above yours at that moment. I am sorry about that. I am in different trenches now, but I remember your particular foxhole very well. There are days when taking a shower is like reaching the summit of Everest and making neon orange mac and cheese feels like you have just

channeled Julia Child. It can be a really lonely place and it can feel like it will never end. When people tell you to enjoy them because “they grow up so fast,” you really want to smack them rather than thanking them for the advice. (But you should enjoy them and they do grow up so fast.) What I really wanted to tell you is that you will be OK. Your beautiful daughter will be OK, even if she cries in the grocery store and the mean people shoot you both dirty looks. And if I see you again and I ask to hold your baby, I promise not to go past the deli counter. Please don’t call security. Chris Worthy is an attorney who took down her shingle to be a stay-athome mom. E-mail her at chris@worthyplace.com.

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Triple the challenges Kaye Roberts manages life with triplets

By Barbara Blake WNC Parent writer Kaye Roberts, 42, is married to Stephan Roberts, also 42, who works at Thermo Fisher Scientific in Weaverville. They are the parents of triplets Makenzie, Kaylee and Jakob, who turned 6 on Sept. 21. She is a graduate of North Buncombe High School and worked for 15 years in newspaper production before having the triplets. She now works parttime with the Head Start program for Buncombe and Madison counties, and plans to be an active volunteer at North Buncombe Elementary School now that her children are in kindergarten. Q. How did you feel when you found out you were having triplets? A. I was definitely a little freaked out. At first we were told we were having twins. We went back for another ultrasound (I had to have ultrasounds every month because I was high risk. I was 36 when I got pregnant and I am a diabetic) and that is when they found the third heartbeat. Needless to say we were shocked, but very excited. Stephan and I have talked about how we feel. God blessed us with these three beautiful babies to fill the void in our lives from having lost his mom and dad (Ralph and Nancy Roberts) and my dad (Junior Arwood). Q. How did the pregnancy go? Any scares? Lots of discomfort? Amazingly stress free? A. I actually had a very good pregnancy. I had no morning sickness. My diabetic levels were all good. I felt good. I worked right up until the babies were born. My water broke at 4 a.m. Sept. 21. I was exactly 30 weeks. At 9:44 a.m. on Sept. 21, 2004, Makenzie Elizabeth Rob-

PHOTO BY JOHN COUTLAKIS

Kaye Robeerts and her 6-year-old triplets, from left, Makenzie, Jakob and Kaylee. erts was born, (3 pounds 8 ounces, 16 inches long), followed at 9:45 by Kaylee Mary Roberts, (3 pounds 11 ounces, 16 inches long) and last but not least at 9:46, Jakob McKinley Roberts was born (3 pounds 6 ounces, 16 inches long). The greatest day of my life. They were delivered by C-section. Q. What was it like when you first brought them home? Did you have lots of family helping out, or were you on your own? A. It was stressful when we first

brought them home. We didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to do; we were, I guess, in shock. The kids were in NICU for almost two months before we brought them home. They all came home at the same time. And they all came home on heart monitors. We did have help. My mom, sisters, sisters-in-law, nieces and friends were around a lot to help out. The most challenging time was at night when it was Continues on Page 42

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Continued from Page 41

just Stephan and I. Trying to feed all three of them and get them in bed and making sure the heart monitors were on them correctly. Those things were annoying. If the babies moved it seemed like they went off and they were very loud and of course would wake everyone up. Our families have been so much help. We could not have done it then and still could not do it without them. Q. Any idea how many diapers/bottles you went through on an average day/week/month? A. Oh my word, I would say thousands upon thousands of everything! I do know we went through 1 1/2 cans of the big powdered formula cans a day. I would say we went through at least one of the big boxes of diapers once a week. Q. How were the “terrible 2s” with the triplets? A. I don’t think it was bad. We were

well laid back. But that all changed. Mapotty training, which was probably the kenzie is more easy going, not hard to most challenging of the “terrible 2s.’’ The get to sleep, pretty well cooperative girls did really well. This is probably the when I need her to be. She is the sensifunny part of raising these three. All of tive one. Kaylee is my wild, bossy child. my nieces have long hair, so my girls She is stubborn, hard headed, but can be wanted their hair to be long. So when we very loving. Jakob is, well, just all boy. started potty training I told them that if Loves to play with they would use the Don’t worry about how dirty the trucks, robots and potty their hair would grow long. It worked. house is; that dirt will be there loves being a cowboy. They were probably tomorrow, but those sweet chil- He has big brown eyes and has every girl and trained in about two dren grow up way too fast. woman that he comes weeks. Jakob, on the in contact with other hand, took a little wrapped around his finger in about two while longer. We tried everything with seconds. They all three have great imagihim. I thought I would have to send him nations. I love to just sit and listen to to kindergarten in pull-ups. His prethem talk to each other. They do fight, school teacher was the one who finally but all in all they are each other’s best got him trained. She told me one day just friends. to put him in “big boy underwear” and Q. Is Stephan a helpful husband around the let him go. She told Jakob that he was a house? big boy and there were no more pull-ups. A. Stephan works second shift at He looked at her and said “OK.” It Thermo-Fisher Scientific in Weaverville. worked! So thankful those days are over. He is a very hard worker at work and at Q. Did their personalities emerge when they home. Even though he works nine- and were infants, or later? 10-hour shifts at work, he still gets up A. Personalities came out later. When every morning and helps me with breakthey were infants they all seemed pretty fast and getting the kids off to school. He

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usually does the laundry, keeps all the outside work done. He is a great dad and husband. Q. Do you and your husband get any alone time together, ever? Ever go out on a date night? A. We do get alone time. We haven’t lately because he is working a lot. Along with the nine- and 10-hour workdays he will work six days a week, which will give us only Sunday to spend together as a family. It is hard on him working second shift. He doesn’t see the kids a whole lot so we would much rather spend time as a family than just him and me. But when we do want some alone time I have enough sisters that I can call one of them and they will be more than happy to keep the kids for us to go out. Q. What’s it like going to restaurants/shopping/errands with the kids? A. It is not bad at all. I don’t mean to brag but they are very well-behaved when we take them out. I used to be afraid to take them out by myself, but now I don’t mind it. They are really good. Q. What are some of the rewards that parents of singles could never imagine? A. One reward is that they are able to entertain each other and be a support to each other. They are each other’s best friends. Q. What’s your favorite thing to do together as a family? A. We love to go out and eat when we can and then usually go have ice cream afterward. They love Cold Stone Creamery. We just love being together, even if that is just hanging out at the house and watching Disney movies or reading a book. Just being together, that’s what it is all about. They have grown up way too soon, and soon enough they will go their separate ways. We live for each moment we spend together no matter what it is we are doing. Q. Any advice for other mothers of multiples? A. The best advice I can give is don’t worry too much about mistakes, learn from them. Don’t worry about how dirty the house is; that dirt will be there tomorrow, but those sweet children grow up way too fast. Spend as much time with them as you can, but definitely take time for yourself. Oh, and don’t forget about the husband. They need attention too — sometimes more than the little ones!

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parenting in a nutshell

SOS for stressed out parents By Doreen Nagle Gannett

Think it’s silly for me to write about help exclusively for busy parents? Well, you are right on the money because every parent is busy and therefore every parent can benefit from advice to make their lives less hectic, less stressed. Read on: First and foremost, you are doing the best you can so there is no need to feel guilty. Guilt wastes your time and your energy and puts you into a mood that isn’t conducive to feeling productive. Your children will know if you are motivated by guilt and pick up their cues from you. In addition, you end up giving your children rewards they may not deserve or forgive them chores undone or behavior that would be otherwise unacceptable. Keep your guilt at bay so you can keep a clear head. Now that you no longer feel guilty, you have the energy to do something good for an important family member — you. If you are not pampered occasionally and do not have your basic needs taken care of each day, you will not be able to take care of other family members. Make sure you eat right daily and take vitamin supplements when appropriate. Join a gym and actually use it; go to a movie; find a favorite book to snuggle with for at least a half hour of quiet time each day. One often overlooked method to reducing stress for busy parents is to simply not overschedule your children or yourself. Keep some open time in the weekly schedule — perhaps every Sunday evening or Saturday morning — so you can discover each other. If you live or work near your child’s school, volunteer to work in the classroom during a lunch hour once in a while. Seeing that your child is cared for, happy and learning during the day will also ease your stress. E-mail Nagle at doreennagle@yahoo.com.

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home-school happenings

Returning to life’s essentials

By Nicole McKeon WNC Parent columnist

Lately, I’ve found myself longing to be Laura Ingalls. I know, I’m too old to be Laura. OK, I’ll be Caroline. Sometimes life just feels so complicated. So much technology, I feel like it runs me, instead of me running it. I think I know what started it. It was the stupid virus on my computer. Not just a virus. A Trojan something or other. By the time I got it fixed, it cost us close to $300. And the computer guy made sure I knew that it could come back anytime. So, what does this all have to do with home-schooling? I got to thinking that the reason I love Laura Ingalls and her family stories so much is because they were all about the essentials. Their whole life was dictated by essential things. Food, water, shelter, God, love, family, education, safety. It was a lot of hard work but also pretty darn clear cut. There wasn’t a whole lot of gray area. If you didn’t plant a garden and take care of it, walk to the creek to get water to water it, weed it… well, then you starved to death in the winter. Not too much gray area there. Nowadays, everything is so much more complicated, which is why I love home-schooling. In many ways it makes my life as a mom harder, more intense. I don’t get seven hours to

myself every day, even if it was to go to a job. In fact, I don’t even get seven minutes to myself. But I feel like I’ve peeled back something that was nonessential to our family. For us, the rushing around to get to the bus, and racing to car rider lines, and stuffing in a couple of hours of homework before we stuffed the kids into bed to get ready to do it all again the next day, was nonessential. By eliminating school, or at least what most people think of as school, we eliminated a source that was pulling our family further apart. Obviously, this is not the case for families who find that traditional school works for them — or for those families who would like to home school, but simply cannot do it economically. But this got me to thinking about all the things we think of as essential that actually make us more stressed out, like cell phones or computers or cable television with 375 stations blasting

what we need to buy, or worry about or can’t afford. Or how about the 47 appliances we all have in our homes that have been designed to become obsolete? (Seems like they all always go at once at our house.) No wonder I find myself longing for the “lonesome prairie.” So, if you’re thinking about taking your kids out of school and homeschooling, or if you’ve already made the leap, then think of yourself as a pioneer. You’ve set out on a long, hard road. But, thank goodness, there have been travelers before you. They have carved out a path. They have built bridges (and burned some…). They have left a trail. You will have to pare back. Maybe get rid of some of those nonessentials. You might eat a lot more sandwiches for dinner. You may actually have to figure out how to live without cable television or a cell phone because someone is going to have to stay home and teach the kids, and all that nonessential stuff is also expensive. But, here’s the thing. When you make the decision to home-school, and it’s right for your family, you will know. You will know because you won’t even miss all those things. You will be so busy with the essential act of loving your family and learning together that you will not even notice they’re gone. Nicole McKeon is a homeschooling mom and owner of Homeschool Station, a new/used home school curriculum store in Fairview. She can be reached at homeschoolstation@hotmail.com.

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librarian’s pick

‘Too Many Fairies’ is just enough fun

Jennifer Prince WNC Parent Columnist

Those familiar with storyteller and children’s author Margaret Read MacDonald know well her gift of mining words for their musical qualities. Rhymes, refrains, colloquial speech, onomatopoeias and alliterations are to her elements of a rarefied language in which she and few others are beautifully fluent. In her latest literary venture, MacDonald invigorates a Celtic tale called “Too Many Fairies.” The story begins as readers meet an old woman cleaning her house. She complains aloud, “Work! Work! Work! How I hate it! Hate it! Hate it!” As soon as the words spring from her mouth, she hears a knock at her door. It is a fairy! “Your luck has come! Open the door! Let me in and you’ll work no more!” No sooner has the fairy flitted in and begun to do the dishes than the old woman begins to complain about having to sweep the floor. She hears another knock at her door. It is another fairy, and this one picks up

area story times Buncombe County Public Libraries

Visit buncombecounty.org Black Mountain, 250-4756 Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday Mother Goose Time: 11:30 a.m. Tuesday Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Thursday East Asheville, 250-4738 Story Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday and Saturday Enka-Candler, 250-4758 Mother Goose Time: 11:30 a.m. Thursday Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Thursday Fairview, 250-6484

the broom, “swishety, swishety, swishety, swishety.” The old woman finds another chore about which to complain. Another fairy comes in, and so on and so on. Soon, the old woman’s house is as spotless as Sunday shoes. It does not stay that way for long. Just a minute after the fairies have everything tidy, they begin to make a mess! Then they clean it up. Then they make a mess again, all the while making quite a din. Exasperated, the old woman seeks the advice a wise woman in the village. The old woman’s advice is a bit unconventional, but maybe it has to be because they are dealing with fairies. In the end, not only does the woman get rid of the fairies, she learns the value of self-sufficient domestic industry. To say the illustrations are done in watercolor might suggest that the pictures have a pale, vague quality. Artist

Susan Mitchell does use watercolors, but the effect is anything but pale or vague. Intensely hued and filled with fanciful touches, Mitchell’s vision complements MacDonald’s bouncy, energetic story perfectly. The old woman is quite the storybook character in her striped skirt, purple blouse and red slippers. Her orange cat is a constant presence by her side. The fairies, round-faced and hooded, look like tiny, sparkling Teletubbies. Observant readers will enjoy noting the various costumes worn by the fairies — which one has an acorn tip for a hat, a green leafy skirt and so on. Early elementary school kids will love this story. It is absolutely perfect for reading aloud to a group. The musical quality of the writing and the vibrant illustrations make the story one that will be read again and again. Look for this book and others by Margaret Read MacDonald in the Buncombe County Public Libraries. Visit buncombecounty.org for more information.

Mother Goose Time: 10:30 a.m. Tuesday Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Thursday Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday Leicester, 250-6480 Mother Goose Time: 11:30 a.m. Tuesday Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday North Asheville, 250-4752 School Age Storytime: 3:15 p.m. Thursday Story Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday

Toddler Time: 10 a.m. Wednesday Oakley/South Asheville, 2504754 Mother Goose Time: 11 a.m. Thursday Toddler Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Story Time: 10 a.m. Wednesday Skyland/South Buncombe, 250-6488 Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Thursday Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday Swannanoa, 250-6486 Story Time: 11 a.m. Thursday

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area story times

Henderson County Public Library

Barnes & Noble

Mother Goose Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Toddler Time: 10 a.m. Thursday Weaverville, 250-6482 Mother Goose Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Toddler Time: 11 a.m. Thursday Story Time: 11:15 a.m. Tuesday West Asheville, 250-4750 Mother Goose Time: 11 a.m. Monday Toddler Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Story Time: 11 a.m. Thursday Storyline Call 250-5437 for a story anytime.

Visit henderson.lib.nc.us. Main, 697-4725 Bouncing Babies: 11 a.m. Wednesdays and Thursdays Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesdays Preschool story time: 10:30 a.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays Stories Alive (ages 5-8): 4 p.m. Thursdays Edneyville, 685-0110 Family story time: 10 a.m. Mondays Etowah, 891-6577 Toddler Time: 10 a.m. Tuesdays Preschool story time: 11 a.m. Tuesdays Fletcher, 687-1218 Bouncing Babies: 11:15 a.m. Wednesdays Toddler Time: 10 a.m. Wednesdays Preschool story time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesdays Green River, 697-4969 Family story time: 10 a.m. Thursdays Mills River, 890-1850 Family story time: 11 a.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays

Asheville Mall, 296-7335 11 a.m. Mondays (toddlers) and 2 p.m. Saturdays (young readers) Biltmore Park

Haywood County Public Library

Visit haywoodlibrary.org. Waynesville, 452-5169 Baby Rhyme Time: 11 a.m. Mondays Movers and Shakers: 11 a.m. Thursdays Family story time: 11 a.m. Wednesdays Ready 4 Learning: 2 p.m. Wednesdays Canton, 648-2924 Family story time: 11:15 a.m. Tuesdays Mondays with Ms. Lisa: 3:30 p.m. Mondays

Spellbound Children’s Bookshop 19 Wall St., Asheville, 232-2228, spellboundchildrensbookshop.com ◆ Tuesdays, 10:30 a.m. (ages 3-5) and 3:30 p.m. (ages 5-7).

Blue Ridge Books

152 S. Main St., Waynesville, 456-6000 Oct. 30: Meet Sequoia, a golden retriever who teaches core values of character education. 10 a.m. Tuesdays (age 3 and under)

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divorced families

Straight from the toddlers By Trip Woodard WNC Parent columnist Toddlers must have a difficult experience during their time of life, from their perspective. For example, they have to live with the name “toddler.” Collectively, they must think that this name better applies to some of the adults they see later at night after a gathering of family and friends. And, to add insult to injury, they go through stages in which they are referred to as being in the “terrible 2s.” What about the adults? Why not the “twisted 20s” or the “thriftless 30s”? As for myself, I’ve decided to take a stand on behalf of these children. I now refer to myself as going through the “frisky 50s.” Having impressed several 2-year-olds with this information, I told them I was writing this article. Their parents had gone through divorce and they readily agreed to be interviewed for this article. I can’t reveal their real names, but their main spokesperson calls himself “Squiggles.” He was wearing a shirt that said, “Life is too short to take a nap.” I guess that explains the nickname. Frisky Trip: “So, Squiggles, what do you think is most important for parents to know about your needs concerning divorce?” Squiggles: “We need to know what is going on … we’re not infants anymor … some of us understand a lot more than adults think. We don’t want details … just something simple telling us that mommy and daddy don’t live together anymore because some adults find they are happier apart. Then remind us you love us!” Frisky Trip: “I’m confused … if you understand this, why do you then keep asking when mommy or daddy is coming

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to visit?” Squiggles: “We are not infants, but that doesn’t mean that we understand time the way you grown-ups do. We don’t know about days or dates. We don’t own or understand watches. But no one enjoys the present as much as we do.” Frisky Trip: “Yeah, I often wish adults would get rid of their watches. Squiggles, what else should parents know about your needs during separation and divorce?” Squiggles: “Even though we don’t understand time like you adults, we do like consistent schedules … it reassures us. Meal time, bath time, bedtime should be very similar between both households.” Frisky Trip: “Hmmm … I notice you didn’t mention naptime. What are some behaviors you might have that divorcing parents might experience and what should they do about them?” Squiggles: “When we feel our parents are nervous or upset, we may become clingy because that makes us nervous. Parents must work to take the very best care they can of themselves and keep active fights out of our ears and eyes. We may throw more tantrums. Adults need to manage this and remind us that they are in control. That makes us feel safer. We might become more fearful when a parent is out of sight. Parents who cave into this and never leave us teach us to stay afraid. We might become more babyish and resort to earlier behaviors. Parents need to encourage us and praise us when we act our age.” Frisky Trip: “Thanks for all this helpful information, Squiggles. A final question, what is one thing parents shouldn’t do for you during a divorce process?” Squiggles: “They should not over-do everything because they feel guilty about the divorce. They should not do things like let us stay up as late as we want, buy us lots of toys and give us sugary snacks. That doesn’t show us that they love us. Actually, that is a selfish thing that meets their needs or attempts to outdo the other parent. We need parents strong enough to teach us healthy habits and encourage responsibility.” Trip Woodard is a licensed family and marriage therapist and a clinical member of the N.C. Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Contact him at 6068607.

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recall roundup

Chuck E. Cheese’s toys recalled

More than 1 million light-up rings and 120,000 star glasses have been recalled by Chuck E. Cheese’s restaurant. If crushed or pulled apart, the plastic casing can break into small pieces and possibly expose the batteries, posing an ingestion hazard to children. The rings were distributed as part of a promotional product offering or during parent-teacher association conventions between April 2009-June 2010. The ring measures 1 1/8 inches across and is made of plastic with a black elastic band. The glasses were distributed as part of a birthday package between April-August 2010. The glasses measure about 5 1/2 inches across by 2 1/2 inches tall and are made of red translucent plastic and have the words Chuck E. Cheese’s painted on the side. Consumers should return both items to Chuck E. Cheese’s for a refund. Visit chuckecheese.com. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission also announced this voluntary recall. For details, visit cpsc.gov.

Giant Starbuilders About 13,500 Giant Starbuilder and Giant Stars building sets have been recalled because plastic knobs can break from the center of the star, posing a choking hazard to young children. The giant stars measure 5 inches in diameter and are made of opaque plastic. Each star has six knobs protruding from a ring-shaped center. The Giant Starbuilder set contains red, green, yellow and blue stars. They were sold nationwide at small retail stores and at Target.com, Toys R Us.com, Amazon.com and CSN through Walmart Marketplace from January 2007-May 2010 for between $25-$35. Call 800-404-4744 or visit edushape.com.

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Feasting on fish Gannett

J.D. Johnson serves up gumbos, po boys and fried fish platters from his restaurant inside Gulf Pride Seafood in Nashville, Tenn. But he said the fish he cooks at home doesn’t get dressed much at all. “There’s nothing like taking a piece of fish and eating it for what it is,” he said. Following are a few new recipes for preparing fish, from simple to more complicated.

FISH TO EAT, FISH TO AVOID Here is a list of good (and those to avoid) fish if you are considering health and environment: Best choices: Arctic Char, mussels, oysters, pollock, catfish (U.S. farmed), salmon (wild Alaskan), mahi mahi (best caught by troll or hood and line), crawfish (U.S. farmed), trout, tilapia (domestic; avoid imported), lobster (Atlantic), cod (Pacific/ Alaska longline; avoid Atlantic). What to avoid: Atlantic cod, Atlantic halibut, Chilean sea bass, grouper, monkfish, shark, dogfish, skate, Atlantic sole, tilefish, orange roughy, tuna. To download and print a more comprehensive seafood guide, visit nrdc.org/oceans/seafoodguide/ page4.asp. Sources: Natural Resources Defense Council and Monterey Bay Aquarium

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Funky stovetop crawfish boil

2/3 cup kosher salt 1 tablespoon black peppercorns 2 (3-ounce) packages dry crab boil (such as Zatarainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) 1 cup liquid crab boil (such as Zatarainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) 2 bay leaves 3 lemons, halved 3 oranges, halved 1 pound small red bliss potatoes 4 large garlic bulbs, halved horizontally 2 large onions, peeled and quartered 2 large artichokes 3 pounds live crawfish, purged several times in salted water 2 ears shucked corn, cut into 2-inch pieces 8 ounces button mushrooms Melted butter, for serving Fill a large, 5-gallon stockpot with a basket insert with 3 gallons of water. Add the salt, peppercorns, dry and liquid

crab boils, and bay leaves. Add the lemons and oranges, squeezing the juice into the stock as they are added. Cover and bring the stock to a boil over high heat; boil for 10 minutes. When the stock is at a full boil, add the potatoes, garlic, onions and artichokes. Cover and bring stock back to a boil; boil for 10 minutes. Add the live crawfish, corn and mushrooms. Cover and bring stock back to a boil; boil for 5 min-

utes. Turn off the heat and allow the crawfish mixture to sit, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes. Line a table with several layers of newspaper or plastic garbage bags. Slowly lift the basket insert out of the stockpot, allowing the liquid to drain off. Pour the crawfish boil onto the prepared table and serve with melted butter and cold beer. Makes 4 servings Recipe courtesy of Emeril Lagasse

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Feasting on fish Continued from Page 57

Honey fried trout

1/2 cup of cornmeal 1/4 cup of flour Salt and pepper, to taste 1 medium egg 1/3 cup of milk 2 trout fillets 1 lemon 4 tablespoons of butter 2 tablespoons of honey In a bowl, mix the cornmeal, flour, salt and pepper. In another bowl, mix the egg and milk. Rub the fish with lemon and dredge in the cornmeal mixture. Dip in the milk mixture and then back into cornmeal mixture. In a frying pan, heat the butter to almost smoking. Put the trout in the pan and cook until golden brown on both sides. Put the honey on top of the fish, lower heat, then cover and cook for 4 minutes. Recipe from troutrecipes.org.

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Balsamic-citrus wild Alaskan salmon Serve this salmon over a bed of fresh spinach. Garnish with tomato wedges and drizzle any remaining marinade over the top. 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar 1/2 cup orange juice concentrate 1/4 cup lemon juice 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 1/2 cup olive oil 4 salmon fillets (about 6 ounces each) Whisk together balsamic vinegar, orange juice concentrate, lemon juice and Dijon mustard in a medium bowl. Slowly add olive oil in a thin, steady stream while continuing to whisk. Place salmon fillets in a dish and pour

marinade over them. Refrigerate for 1 to 2 hours. Remove salmon from marinade, reserving marinade. Pour marinade into a small pot and boil to reduce by half. Preheat grill. Place salmon fillets on hot grill. Grill for 4 minutes, flip fillets, baste with reduced marinade and grill 4 to 5 minutes longer, until salmon is cooked through. Cover salmon to help it cook completely if needed. Baste with remaining marinade and serve. Makes 4 servings Recipe from Whole Foods Market

Tartar sauce

1 cup mayonnaise 1 teaspoon mustard 1 tablespoon finely chopped parsley 1 teaspoon minced onion 1 tablespoon sweet pickle relish 1 finely chopped hard cooked egg Combine all ingredients and chill. Makes approximately 1 cup sauce Source: Gulf Pride Seafood, Franklin, Tenn.

Halibut en papillote

Zest from 2 limes, finely shredded 3 limes, juiced 4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced 1 piece (2 inches) ginger, peeled and julienned 1 medium red onion, halved and thinly sliced 2 mild to spicy red chilies, halved 4 fillets (6 ounces each) black bass, halibut or striped bass 4 heads baby bok choy (or 1 large head, quartered) 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper 8 sprigs fresh cilantro Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix lime zest and

juice, garlic, ginger, onion and chilies in a medium bowl. Fold four 20-inch pieces of parchment in half lengthwise. Unfold and place one fillet and one head of bok choy along each crease. Rub both with 2 tablespoons oil and season with salt and pepper. Top each fillet with some onion mixture and two sprigs cilantro. Fold parchment over fish, making small overlapping folds along edges and sealing with a paper clip. Place on rimmed baking sheets. Roast until parchment puffs, 10-12 minutes. Carefully cut packets, avoiding escaping steam, and serve. Makes 4 servings Source: marthastewart.com.

Mahi mahi po boy

Makes 4 sandwiches 1 to 2 tablespoons of oil 4 mahi mahi fillets Tony Chachereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Original Creole Seasoning to taste 4 French rolls Lettuce, tomato, mayo or tartar sauce Heat oil in pan (or prepare grill). Season fish well with Tonyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seasoning. Cook fish for about 4 minutes on each side. Assemble sandwiches to your taste.

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Kids page

word search

dot-to-dot

One Two Three Four Five Six

Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen

coloring

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Twenty Thirty Forty Fifty Hundred Thousand Million

puzzles for parents Across

1. Prissy to Scarlett O’Hara 6. Communications regulator, acr. 9. It’s sometimes replaced with “cherish” in wedding vows 13. Undergraduate’s field of study 14. Goes with “aah” 15. Last 8 in college basketball 16. Currently broadcasting 17. ___-Wan Kenobi 18. Roman Holiday, for Audrey Hepburn 19. Juvenile Academy Award recipient 21. Legendary for his roles in horror films 23. Estimated arrival 24. Not final or absolute 25. Singing Doris 28. A French abbot 30. In any manner 35. Def Leppard’s “Rock of ____” 37. Yellow, chocolate and black dogs 39. Tropical fruit 40. To release, as in anger 41. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, e.g. 43. Modeling material 44. Prefix for “between” 46. Silent film star Lee 47. In typography, part of a letter that overhangs a block of moveable type 48. Pertaining to a State of the American Union 50. Milk choice 52. It’s sometimes marbled 53. Illegal lab product 55. Animal sanctuary 57. a.k.a. Norma Jeanne Baker

60. Either Katharine 11. Small ladies’ or Audrey handbag 64. System of num- 12. Hitherto bering pages 15. Butting against 65. Geological time 20. Harp-shaped period symbol 67. Suggestive of the 22. “The home of the supernatural brave” 68. African antelope 24. Simpleton in 69. High rocky hill Yiddish 70. Dismantles 25. “All About Eve” 71. We have, abbr. star 72. Clothing border 26. Actor’s representa73. Shall, archaic tive

27. Gossipmonger 29. Red-headed comedienne 31. Exclamation of disgust 32. Czech money 33. Estrogen producer 34. “The Duke” 36. Proofreader’s “disregard” word 38. Pout 42. Native American corn 45. Gunpowder packing

stick 49. Actor DiCaprio 51. Those who are gloomy and sullen 54. Canines, e.g. 56. Sorcery in West Indies 57. Facial growth made sexy by Marilyn Monroe and Cindy Crawford 58. Popular Norwe-

gian name 59. Rob Marshall’s 2008 musical 60. Stay out of its way 61. Celestial bear 62. Cambodian money 63. ____ egg 64. “A ___ Good Men” 66. Caviare

Solutions on Page 71

Down

1. Smoke plus fog 2. Femme fatale Turner 3. Open 4. Veil fabric 5. Misprint 6. 2008 documentary “____, Inc.” 7. Corn on the ___ 8. Mexico is famous for it 9. Butter substitute 10. Chest cover, pl.

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calendar of events

Things to do

Calendar items for November issue are due Oct. 10. E-mail them to calendar@wncparent.com.

Sept. 29

Black Mountain Youth Chorale The first rehearsal for the Black Mountain Youth Chorale, a singing group for fourth-eighth graders, will be 3:30 p.m. Sept. 29 in the Science Building at The Learning Community at Camp Rockmont on Lake Eden Road. No choral experience is necessary, but singers must be able to match pitch. Registration will follow immediately at 4:30 p.m. with a required meeting for singers and at least one parent. Concert at the end of each semester. Tuition is $75 for 15 weeks. Call 669-0930 or visit blackmountainarts.org, or reach Aline Carillon at 450-9414. Fruits and veggies class Hendersonville Co-op offers a class for kids about fruits and vegetables at 10:30 a.m. at Hands On! A Child’s Gallery, 318 N. Main St. Free with admission. Visit handsonwnc.org.

Starts Sept. 29

Preschool art sessions Roots + Wings School of Art offers art sessions for ages 3-6, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Wednesdays. Four-week session focuses on drawing and printmaking. $50. At Cathedral of All Souls, 3 Angle St., Biltmore Village. Visit rootsandwingsarts.com or call 545-4827.

Sept. 30

Fantastic Fable Puppet Show Kids of all ages welcome at the free Fantastic Fables puppet show, 11 a.m. at East Asheville Library, 902 Tunnel Road. Call 250-4738 or e-mail eastasheville.library@buncombecounty.org. Infant CPR and Choking class Pardee Hospital offers a course on infant CPR and choking. From 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Pardee, education classrooms, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. $10. Registration required. Call 866-790-WELL. Labor and birth forums Peaceful Beginning Labor and Birth Forums, 7-8:15 p.m. the last Thursday of the month, are based on the Six Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices and represent “evidence-based care” for a normal and healthy birth. Free. Discussion include effective affirmations, good communication. Comfort measures for late pregnancy, breast-feeding tips and more. At Wellness Resource Center, 50 Doctor’s Drive. Visit peacefulbeginning.org or call 258-3327.

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YWCA Black & White Gala The sixth-annual gala with music, food and silent auction to benefit the YWCA starts at 7 p.m. at Crowne Plaza Expo Center. Tickets are $50 per person. YWCA members get 20 percent off. For tickets and information, visit ywcaofasheville.org.

Oct. 1

Music and Movement Hands On! offers singing, dancing and music at 10:30 a.m. with Jenny Arch. Included in admission. Hands On! is at 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Call 697-8333 or visit handsonwnc.org. Swannanoa Shindig Mountain music, dancing, bingo, farmers market, food, games and more. Bring a chair but leave pets at home. At 6 p.m. Take Interstate 40 to Exit 59. Turn right onto U.S. 70 East. Take right onto Whitson Avenue and follow the signs. Call 3374718 or visit SwannanoaShindig.com.

Starts Oct. 1

Play & Learn Parents/caregivers and children ages 3-5 in Buncombe County who are not in regulated child care can attend a series of eight free Play & Learn group sessions at Leicester Elementary. Classes 9-9:45 a.m. Fridays, Oct. 1-Nov. 19. Each 45minute session focuses on pre-literacy skills for children and educational information for parents. With songs, puppets, dance, games, crafts and hands-on activities. Children new to the program

receive a book each week. Registration required. Registration is open through Oct. 8. E-mail marna.holland@asheville.k12.nc.us or call 3502904. Children must be at least 3 years old by Oct. 1. Younger siblings may attend with their families, but materials are not provided for them. Preschool art sessions Roots + Wings School of Art offers art sessions for ages 3-6, 10-11 a.m. Fridays. Four-week session focuses on drawing and printmaking. $50. At Cathedral of All Souls, 3 Angle St., Biltmore Village. Visit rootsandwingsarts.com or call 545-4827. Tiny Tykes Tiny Tykes, the popular toddler program through Asheville Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts, moves to Stephens Lee Recreation Center, 30 George Washington Carver St. Theme-week classes are 10 a.m.-noon Wednesday and Friday. $1 per class. For more information, contact Jessica Johnston at 2514041 or eastrecctr@ashevillenc.gov. Or call LaTanya McDowell at Stephens Lee at 350-2058.

Oct. 2

Banned Book Read-a-Thon Spellbound Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bookshop hosts a read-a-thon to benefit Asheville City Schools Foundation at the end of Banned Books Week, noon-6 p.m. The store will donate 25 percent of the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sales as well as event donations to ACSF. The store is at 19 Wall St., Asheville. Call 232-2228 or visit spellboundchildrensbookshop.com.

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calendar of events

SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

Bright Star Touring Theatre presents “The Lady of Bullybug” on Oct. 2 at Asheville Community Theatre. Continued from Page 63 Make Art. Eat Cereal. Roots + Wings School of Art celebrates its one-year anniversary with weekend events, including HandsOn Art and Cereal Eating, 9 a.m.-noon in the school’s classrooms at Cathedral of All Souls, 3 Angle St., Biltmore Village. Make an art project, enjoy breakfast, tour the preschool. Visit rootsandwingsarts.com. Family Theatre Series Bright Star Touring Theatre and Asheville Community Theatre present a new family theatre series to be performed at Act. At 10 a.m., see “The Lady of Bullyburg” (best for grades pre-kindergarten-5). At 2:30 p.m., see “Jack’s Adventure in American History” (best for grades 2-6). All shows appropriate for ages 3 and older. Tickets are $5 each, available at the ACT box office or at ashevilletheatre.org. ACT is at 35 E. Walnut St., Asheville. Forest Festival Day and Woodsmen’s Meet More than 80 traditional craftsmen, exhibitors, forestry students and musicians gather at the Cradle of Forestry to celebrate our forests and forest heritage. Includes John G. Palmer Intercolligient Woodsmen’s Meet, a lumberjack competition, organized by Haywood Community College. $6 for ages 16 and older, $3 for 15 and under and America the Beautiful and Golden Age pass holders, free for children under 4. Call 877-3130 or visit cradleofforestry.org. Great American Campout Sleep under the starts at Fletcher Community Park. Learn camping skills, play games, sing songs, enjoy a campfire. Registration is free. First 20 families to register will be issued free camping gear to use at the event. Register at Diamond Brand. Call 209-1538. Visit fletcherparks.org. Veritas Christian Academy Flea Market Shop for clothing, electronics, furniture, athletic equipment, toys, books and more. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. in

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Veritas Christian Academy’s gym, at corner of Hendersonville and Cane Creek roads, behind Fletcher First Baptist Church. YMCA parents’ night out The YMCA in downtown Asheville offers a parents night out for children ages 2-12. Activities include swimming, arts and crafts, inflatable obstacle course, snacks and a movie. Register online or in person (at least 24 hours before scheduled program). Offered 6-10 p.m. the first Saturday and 6:30-9:30 p.m. the third Friday of each month. Cost is $12 for members ($24 nonmembers); Saturday cost is $15 for members ($30 for nonmembers), with $2 sibling discounts for everyone. For information or to register, call 210-5622 or visit ymcawnc.org.

Oct. 3

Family Art pARTy Asheville Art Museum hosts the SunTrust Sunday Family Art pARTy: The Art + Math of Music. 2-4 p.m. at the museum, 2 S. Pack Square, downtown Asheville. Free event for all ages with a flute-making demonstration, flute concert, art activities and free museum admission. Visit ashevilleart.org. ROYAL Book Club Discuss “Mockingjay,” the fnal book in the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. For adults reading young adult fiction; 18 and older welcome. No reservations required. At 4 p.m. at Spellbound Children’s Bookshop, 19 Wall St. Call 232-2228.

Oct. 4

Food allergy group COCOA — Caring for Children with food Allergies — is a free group for parents of food allergic children that meets at 6:45 p.m. the first Monday of the month at Earth Fare on Hendersonville Road in South Asheville. E-mail Kristie at cocoa_in_asheville@yahoo.com. Parenting Lunch-n-Learn Educators from Shalom Preschool at the Jewish Community Center of Asheville, Maccabi Academy and The Sunshine Project present a series of discussions on parenting questions and share ideas on kindergarten preparation. Topic on Oct. 4 is Social/ Emotional Regulation. Free. 12:30-1:30 p.m. at the JCC, 236 Charlotte St. E-mail Caroline Rasch at caroline@jcc-asheville.org.

Oct. 5

Skyland Knit and Chain group A casual knitting and needlework group for all skill levels. Meets 6-8 p.m. at South Buncombe/Skyland Library, 260 Overlook Road. Call 250-6488.

Oct. 6

Swannanoa Library knitters Group for all skill levels meets 5-7 p.m. at Swannanoa Library, 101 W. Charleston St. Call 250-6486.

Oct. 7 and 14

Childbirth class A two-session class for expectant parents covering the labor and delivery process, relaxation, breathing patterns, birth options, positioning and comfort

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calendar of events Continued from Page 65 measures. Also includes tour of the Pardee Women and Children’s Center. Runs 6:30-9 p.m. Oct. 7 and 14. Free. Registration required. At Pardee Hospital Orientation Classroom, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Call 866-790-WELL.

Opens Oct. 8

Blue Man Group: Making Waves The Health Adventure’s new traveling exhibit lets kids experience the world through the eyes of Blue

Man Group. At 2 S. Pack Square, Asheville. Call 254-6373 or visit thehealthadventure.org.

Oct. 8

Veritas Christian Academy events Call 681-0546 or visit veritasnc.org for information and to register. ◆ Links for the Warriors Golf Tournament: Support the Veritas Athletic Program by playing a round of golf at High Vista Country Club. Captain’s Choice. $75 per golfer (includes cart, greens fee, box lunch, dinner and prizes). ◆ Murder Mystery Dinner: At 6:30 p.m. at Camp Greystone in Zirconia. Enjoy dinner and dance to

tunes from the ‘50s and ‘60s, while trying to solve the mystery. Tickets $30. Proceeds benefit the class of 2011.

Oct. 9

Black Mountain Library Used Book Sale Friends of the Black Mountain Library will host a book sale, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Book donations for the sale may be dropped off in the week prior to the sale. Call 250-4756 or e-mail blackmountain.library@buncombecounty.org. Buddy Walk The Buddy Walk, which benefits the WNC Down Syndrome Alliance, is 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at Fletcher Community Park. Visit wncdsa.org.

Oct. 10

‘Making Relationships Work’ Sardis United Methodist Church, 897 Brevard Road in Asheville, hosts a free presentation, open to the public, of “Making Relationships Work,” a video lecture by John Gottman and live commentary by licensed marriage and family therapist Trip Woodard. Learn important communication and relationship ideas useful for couples and parents. 7-9 p.m. Child care provided. Call 667-5710. ‘Write it… Show it…Sing it…Tell it’ Susana and Timmy Abell present “Write it...Show it...Sing it...Tell it...So Many Ways to Share a Story” at 2 p.m. at Fairview library. The event combines storytelling, poetry, puppetry, and music. It is free and children of all ages are invited. Call 250-6484 or e-mail fairview.library@buncombecounty.org.

Oct. 11

Parenting Lunch-n-Learn Educators from Shalom Preschool at the Jewish Community Center of Asheville, Maccabi Academy and The Sunshine Project present a series of discussions on parenting questions and share ideas on kindergarten preparation. Topic on Oct. 11 is Motivation for Positive Behavior. Free. 12:30-1:30 p.m. at the JCC, 236 Charlotte St. E-mail Caroline Rasch at caroline@jcc-asheville.org.

Starts Oct. 11

Art classes Roots + Wings School of Art offers art sessions for ages 7-12, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Mondays. Four-week session focuses on printmaking experiments. $50. At Cathedral of All Souls, 3 Angle St., Biltmore Village. Visit rootsandwingsarts.com or call 545-4827.

Oct. 12

Ask the OB/GYN Hands On! hosts a question-and-answer session with an OB/GYN, 4:30-5:30 p.m. Call 697-8333 for reservation. Hands On! is at 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Visit handsonwnc.org. Black Mountain Library Knitters Knitting and needlework group for all levels, 6:30 p.m. at Black Mountain Yarn Shop, 203 W. State St.

Oct. 13

Holistic Parenting Forum The Holistic Parenting Forum is a free group that

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meets monthly to provide support, education and resources for a diverse community of parents committed to natural living. All meetings take place on the second Wednesday of every month at Earth Fare in West Asheville from 6-8 p.m. Children are welcome. For more information, call 230-4850 or e-mail shantisunshine@gmail.com

Oct. 14

Origami Folding Frenzy Learn new folds, share favorites, and meet fellow origami enthusiasts. All levels welcome. Paper is available at the museum store or bring your own. Cost is museum admission. From 4-5 p.m. the second Thursday of the month at The Health Adventure, 2 S. Pack Place. Call 254-6373 or visit thehealthadventure.org. Used Art Books Sale Asheville Art Museum hosts its first used book sale. Free admission. Accepting donations for sale. Contact Nancy Sokolove at 253-3227, ext. 120, or nsokolove@ashevilleart.org. At Pack Place, 2 S. Pack Square, downtown Asheville.

Oct. 15

Family Night Out Odyssey Center for Ceramic Arts hosts a night for kids, parents, grandparents and more. $25 per person, $45 for two people. At 236 Clingman Ave. Call 285-0210 or visit highwaterclays.com. YMCA parents’ night out The YMCA in downtown Asheville offers a parents night out for children ages 2-12. Activities include swimming, arts and crafts, inflatable obstacle course, snacks and a movie. Register online or in person (at least 24 hours before scheduled program). Offered 6-10 p.m. the first Saturday and 6:30-9:30 p.m. the third Friday of each month. Cost is $12 for members ($24 nonmembers); Saturday cost is $15 for members ($30 for nonmembers), with $2 sibling discounts for everyone. For information or to register, call 210-5622 or visit ymcawnc.org.

Oct. 16

Mothers of Multiples Rummage Sale Asheville Mothers of Multiples hosts its fall rummage sale at US Army Reserve Center, 224 Louisiana Ave., Asheville (behind KFC on Patton Avenue). Shop the early bird sale 7-7:30 a.m. for $1 admission. Regular sale is 7:30 a.m.-2 p.m.; half-price sale is 2:30-3:30 p.m. Sale includes gently used baby and children’s clothes, toys, books and equipment, maternity clothes, adult clothes and yard sale items. Cash and credit only. New Beginnings Integrative Heath Expo Free program and exhibition of complementary options for care during pregnancy and childbirth, offered by Mission Hospital. 2-6 p.m. at Reuter Outpatient Center, Vanderbilt Park. Includes vendors and practitioners teaching, demonstrating and discussing specific services. Free snacks. Children’s clothing, toys and baby products for sale. Origami for Beginners Learn about origami, 10 a.m. at Historic Johnson Farm. $5. Call 891-6585. Space is limited.

Oct. 17

Little Big Ride Big Brothers Big Sisters of WNC hosts a free family event to celebrate and support Joseph Husslein’s 41-day ride across America to raise $1 million for Big Brothers Big

MOMS GROUPS A sampling of support groups for moms in WNC. Arden Moms Meetup Group: A group for stay-at-home moms of preschoolers or babies in the Arden/South Asheville/ Fletcher area. Visit meetup.com/ardenmoms or contact Susan Toole at ArdenMoms@gmail.com. AshevilleMommies.com: Meet and greets for moms while kids play. Two sessions, 11 a.m.-noon and 3-4 p.m. Wednesdays at The Hop Ice Cream and Coffee Shop, 640 Merrimon Ave. Asheville Moms with Multiples: Group for moms with multiples meets 7 p.m. the first Thursday of each month at the Women’s Resource Center on Doctors Drive, behind Mission Hospital. Meetings are an opportunity to share experiences and offer support in a social setting. Call 444-AMOM or visit ashevillemom.com. Biltmore Baptist MOPS: Group for all mothers of children from infancy through kindergarten. Morning group meets 9:30-11:30 and evening group meets 6:15-7:45 on the first and third Wednesday of each month at Biltmore Baptist Church, 35 Clayton Road, Arden. Call 687-1111, e-mail mopsofbbc@yahoo.com or visit mopsofbbc.com. La Leche League of Asheville mornings: Pregnant moms, babies and toddlers welcome at all meetings. Meets at 10 a.m. the second Monday of the month at First Congregational Church on Oak Street. Contact a leader: Susan, 6284438; Jessica, 242-6531; or Falan, 683-1999. La Leche League of Asheville evenings: Pregnant moms, babies and toddlers welcome at all meetings. Meets at 7 p.m. the third Monday of the month at Awakening Heart on Merrimon Avenue. Contact a leader: Yvette, 254-5591; or Molly, 713-7089. La Leche League of Hendersonville: Offers information and support for pregnant or breastfeeding women. Meets at 10 a.m. the second Wednesday of the month at Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Hendersonville, 2021 Kanuga

Road. Babies and toddlers are welcome. For more information, Contact a leader: Andrea 676-6047, Katie 8081490, or MC 693-9899. Mom2mom: Christian moms group meets at St. Paul’s Church, 32 Rosscraggon Road, Rosscraggon Business Park Building B, Asheville. Moms with any age children are welcome. Call 388-3598. Mommy and Me: Park Ridge Hospital offers a support group for moms at 10 a.m. the fourth Monday of the month. Contact Amy Mast at 216-7244. The hospital offers a luncheon for moms and babies, noon-1 p.m. the third Monday of the month, at the hospital’s private dining room. Call 681-2229. MOMS Club of Hendersonville: A support group open to mothers of all ages in the Henderson County area, including mothers who have homebased businesses and those who work part-time but are home with their children during the day. The group meets for speeches and topics for discussion, park days, playgroups, nights out, holiday activities and service projects benefiting needy children in the community. Meets 9:30 a.m. the first Thursday of the month at Hendersonville Church of Christ, 1975 Haywood Road, Hendersonville. Children welcome. Call Kerry at 692-7724 or visit hendersonvillemomsclub.wordpress.com MOPS at Mud Creek: Mothers of Preschoolers (infancy through kindergarten) provides an open, faith-based atmosphere. Meets second and fourth Wednesdays, 9:15-11:15 a.m., September-May, at Mud Creek Baptist Church, 403 Rutledge Drive, Hendersonville. E-mail MOPS.MudCreek@gmail.com or visit http://mopsatmudcreek.webs.com/ links.htm. North Asheville MOPS: Meets 9:3011:30 a.m. the first Monday of each month at Maranatha Baptist Church, 1040 Lower Flat Creek Road, Weaverville. Contact Jennifer Warner at 423-6180 or Liban Morris at lmorris_cid@hotmail.com.

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calendar of events Continued from Page 67 Sisters. He will ride into the event and talk about his ride. Other activities include Bike Builders Competition, bike decorating contest, log cabin raffle, bike parade and more. 2-4 p.m. at Asheville Renaissance Hotel parking lot, Woodfin Street, downtown.

Oct. 18

Learning disabilities presentation Free talk about how the brain processes information, and how the problems can be permanently corrected in adults and children with ADD/ADHD, dyslexia and other learning disabilities. At 6:30 p.m. at Earth Fare Westgate, 66 Westgate Parkway, Asheville. Call 216-4444 for reservation. Parenting Lunch-n-Learn Educators from Shalom Preschool at the Jewish Community Center of Asheville, Maccabi Academy and The Sunshine Project present a series of discussions on parenting questions and share ideas on kindergarten preparation. Topic on Oct. 18 is Decreasing Challenging Behaviors. Free. 12:30-1:30 p.m. at the JCC, 236 Charlotte St. E-mail Caroline Rasch at caroline@jcc-asheville.org.

Oct. 20

Swannanoa Library knitters A casual knitting and needlework group for all skill levels meets 5-7 p.m. at Swannanoa Library, 101 W. Charleston St. Call 250-6486.

Oct. 21

Pardee Hospital classes Classes at 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Call 866-790-WELL or visit pardeehospital.org to register. ◆ Breast-feeding class: Learn the art of breastfeeding. 6:30-8 p.m. ◆ Daddy Duty class: Learn helpful ideas and tips for dads during the labor and birth process. 6:30-8 p.m.

Oct. 21-23

Mommy & Me consignment sale Fall/winter clothing and shoes for infants through moms, children’s books, toys, outside play equipment, baby furniture and more. Sale runs 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Oct. 21-22, 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Oct. 23 with half-price sale from 2-6 p.m. Oct. 23. At Gateway Plaza (off Exit 59 on I-40) on U.S. 70 in Swannanoa. Call 337-4294.

Oct. 22-23

‘Legend of Tommy Hodges’ Cradle of Forestry presents an outdoor drama about the Halloween night in 1906 when Biltmore Forest School student Tommy Hodges goes missing. Shows at 6:30, 7:45 and 9 p.m. Shows are along paved Biltmore Campus Trail and includes characters and stories based on the diaries of students who attended the school from 1903-7.

PHOTO BY JOHN FLETCHER

Students from Buncombe County Early College dress as “Wizard of Oz” characters show off their entry in the Canstruction 2009 competition. This year’s Canstruction is Oct. 30-Nov. 6. $6 for ages 16 and older, $3 for ages 5-15, free for 4 and younger. Call 877-3130 for reservations.

Oct. 22-24

‘Alice in Wonderland, Jr.’ Asheville Community Theatre’s production classes culminate in performances of “Alice in Wonderland, Jr.” Performances are 7:30 p.m. Oct. 22 and 2:30 p.m. Oct. 23-24. Buy tickets at the door. Call ACT at 254-1320.

Oct. 23

Asheville Bravo Concerts: ‘Oklahoma!’ See this award-winning musical at Thomas Wolfe Auditorium. For tickets, call 225-5887 or visit Asheville Civic Center box office. Visit ashevillebravoconcerts.org. Kids’ Common Sports Injuries presentation Dr. Nathaniel Jablecki with Pardee Family Medicine Associates will speak to parents about common sports injuries and how to prevent them. Various sports will be discussed and this is a must-hear for parents of athletes and their coaches. Free. 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Registration required. Register at pardeehospital.org. Spare Me Bowling Tournament Buncombe County Special Olympics hosts its thirdannual Spare Me Bowling Tournament, 7-9 p.m. at AMF Star Lanes, Kenilworth Road. $100 per fiveperson team. Includes two games and shoe rental. All proceeds benefit Special Olympics athletes. Visit buncombecounty.org. ‘The Dragon King’ The Asheville Puppetry Alliance presents the first in its Young Audience Series, The Tanglewood Marionettes’ “The Dragon King” at 11 a.m. at Diana Wor-

tham Theater. ‘The Dragon King’ is a heart-warming tale based on Chinese folklore. Tickets are $7. Visit ashevillepuppetry.org. For tickets call 257-4530 or visit dwtheatre.com. Walk for Autism Fifth-annual event of the Autism Society of North Carolina, at 9 a.m. Carrier Park, Asheville. Visit wncrunwalkforautism.org.

Oct. 25

Parenting Lunch-n-Learn Educators from Shalom Preschool at the Jewish Community Center of Asheville, Maccabi Academy and The Sunshine Project present a series of discussions on parenting questions and share ideas on kindergarten preparation. Topic on Oct. 25 is Responding to Challenging Behaviors. Free. 12:30-1:30 p.m. at the JCC, 236 Charlotte St. E-mail Caroline Rasch at caroline@jcc-asheville.org.

Oct. 26

Black Mountain Library Knitters Knitting group for all levels, 6:30 p.m. at Black Mountain Yarn Shop, 203 W. State St. Leicester Library Knitters A casual knitting and needlework group for all skill levels at 6:30 p.m. at the library, 1561 Alexander Road. Call 250-6480. Learning disabilities presentation Free talk about how the brain processes information, and how the problems can be permanently corrected in adults and children with ADD/ADHD, dyslexia and other learning disabilities. At 6:30 p.m. at Earth Fare South, 1856 Hendersonville Road, Asheville. Call 216-4444 for reservation.

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Oct. 27

Leave No Trace Traveling Trainers REI in Biltmore Park hosts the Leave No Trace Traveling Trainers at 7 p.m. The trainers will do a free presentation about how troop leaders, teachers, naturalists and outdoor lovers can teach youth Leave No Trade using REI’s PEAK pack (Promoting Environmental Awareness in Kids). Visit rei.com/ event/11315/session/14085. Oasis Shrine Circus At WNC Ag Center, Fletcher.

Starts Oct. 27

Preschool art sessions Roots + Wings School of Art offers art sessions for ages 3-6, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Wednesdays. Four-week session focuses on 3-D sculpture and bookmaking. $50. At Cathedral of All Souls, 3 Angle St., Biltmore Village. Visit rootsandwingsarts.com or call 5454827.

Oct. 28

Infant care class Pardee Hospital offers a course on infant care from A to Z. From 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Pardee, education classrooms, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Free. Registration required. Call 866-790-WELL. Labor and birth forums Peaceful Beginning Labor and Birth Forums, 7-8:15 p.m. the last Thursday of the month, are based on the Six Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices and represent “evidence-based care” for a normal and healthy birth. Free. Discussion include effective affirmations, good communication. Comfort measures for late pregnancy, breast-feeding tips and more. On the Mission Campus at the Wellness Resource Center, 50 Doctor’s Drive. Visit peacefulbeginning.org or call 258-3327.

Oct. 29

‘Getting to Know Your Book’: A fun library skit Black Mountain Library’s librarians will perform “Getting to Know Your Book,” a skit to teach youngsters of all ages how to care for their library books. At 3:30 p.m. at the library, 105 Dougherty St. Call 250-4756.

Starts Oct. 29

Preschool art sessions Roots + Wings School of Art offers art sessions for ages 3-6, 10-11 a.m. Fridays. Four-week session focuses on 3-D sculpture and bookmaking. $50. At Cathedral of All Souls, 3 Angle St., Biltmore Village. Visit rootsandwingsarts.com or call 545-4827.

Oct. 30-Nov. 6

Canstruction The third-annual Canstruction event is a nationwide design/build competition where teams build giant structures from full cans of food. At the end of the exhibition, food will be donated to MANNA FoodBank. Competition is 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Oct. 30 at the Pack Place building in Pack Square. Designs will be

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calendar of events Continued from Page 69 on display until Nov. 6. Visit yafasheville.org.

Oct. 31

Halloween For a list of Halloween-related events, see Page 24.

Nov. 1

Hanukkah Bazaar Stop by the Jewish Community Center lobby to pick up candles, dreidels, gelt, gifts, wrapping paper and more for Hanukkah. 7:30 a.m.-6 p.m. Visit jccasheville.org. Parenting Lunch-n-Learn Get information and tools to help with your child’s early literacy skills at “My Child Can Read … Or Can She?” 12:30-1:30 p.m. at the JCC of Asheville, 236 Charlotte St. E-mail caroline@jcc-asheville.org.

Nov. 1-14

Asheville International Children’s Film Festival A two-week event featuring 125 films from 30 countries. Live performances, animation, children’s jury, hands-on workshops and more. Visit aicff.org.

Nov. 13

Foster/Adopt Fall Festival Learn more about foster parenting and about the older children waiting for adoption. Information, arts and crafts activities for children, and more. Drop in from 2-5 p.m. at Crowne Plaza Hotel, off Interstate 240 between Sam’s Club and Westgate Plaza. Contact Erica Jourdan at 250-5868 or familiesforkids@buncombecounty.org.

Nov. 18-20

Wee Trade Holiday Sale Find children’s new and gently used toys and holiday wear. At WNC Ag Center, Fletcher. Visit wee-trade.net.

Ongoing

Flute lessons Individual and small ensemble lessons for flutists beginning to advanced, children and parents, in the South Asheville/South Buncombe area with Lea Kibler, teacher and performer. E-mail info@ashevilleflute.com or call 650-6666. Dance classes Studio Zahiya offers classes for moms and teens on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Classes include bellydance, hip-hop, Bollywood and Bhangra. Drop-in classes are $12, four classes for $40. At 41 Carolina Lane, Asheville. Visit lisazahiya.com/instructor.html or call Lisa Zahiya at 242-2595. Celebration Singers of Asheville Community children’s chorus welcomes new singers ages 7-14 to join. The nonprofit group offers musical education and performance opportunities. Rehearsals are 6:30-7:45 p.m. Thursdays at First Congregational Church, 20 Oak St., downtown Asheville. Call 230-5778 or visit singasheville.org. Zeugner Center family swim Buncombe County’s Zeugner Center indoor pool is

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now open 1:30-5 p.m. Sundays for family swim time. $3 per person. Passes available, $20 for 10 visits and $40 for 25 visits. The Zeugner Center at 90 Springside Drive, Arden, behind Roberson High School. For more information, contact Teri Gentile at 684-5072 or teri.gentile@buncombecounty.org. Merrimon Avenue Baptist Preschool Merrimon Avenue Baptist Church Preschool is accepting enrollment for classes for ages 1 to prekindergarten. Classes run 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Monday-Thursday. $15/day with $50 registration fee. The structured pre-kindergarten class focuses on kindergarten readiness and is taught by a licensed birth-kindergarten teacher. Call Sara Calloway at 252-2768, ext. 315, or e-mail scalloway@mabaptist.org. Foundation Builders Build cars, birdhouses, planes and more while learning about Jesus. For ages 5-12. At 6:30 p.m. Wednesdays at Beaverdam Baptist Chruch, 399 Beaverdam Road, Asheville. Health Adventure exhibits and programs Call 254-6373 or visit thehealthadventure.org. ◆ Blue Man Group-Making Waves: Play and learn the fun of music with Blue Man Group. Create instruments, learn about instruments and make music. Opens Oct. 1. ◆ Preschool Play Date: interactive fun just for preschoolers at 10:30 a.m. Thursdays. ◆ Super Science Saturdays: Experiment with science with hands-on activities. Noon-2 p.m. each Saturday.

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