FIVE 75 Where youth culture lives.
The women’s month edition
issue 06
August 2018
Chronicles of a womb-man III a public apology Sexucation normalising the sex talk
A tribute to women A photo tribute to amazing women
Women making power moves Rethabile Kau and Thokozani Mkhwan
A
UGUST
C
ONTENTS
1. Chronicles of a womb-man III 5. More than a woman 11. The problem with purity 17. Her Pride 21. Sexucation 27. A tribute to amazing women
35. Women making moves 51. Five Fashion 57. Five Music 63. V8 - women and speed 67. Hustler’s corner 73. Retail therapy by Tsholofelo Molosi
21. 51. 17.
63. 35.
5. 27.
FIVE SQUAD EDITOR IN CHIEF Bilicia The Unicorn Khosana
DESIGN Nkanyezi Gumede
ADVERTISING Lawrence Adams (074 853 3702)
GUEST CONTRIBUTORS Bonginkosi Makwakwa Lesego Mokoena Mosa Bodibe Rethabile Kau
CONTRIBUTORS Bilicia Khosana Kemish Nkgoeng Tsholofelo Molosi
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IG: @we_are_five_75 Facebook: The Bluetick Mindset
Editor’s note Feeling Myself
How dare you to tell me to cover up? How dare you pull a face? How dare you get offended by my get up? How dare you tell me to run and set my pace? How dare you make me doubt me? Did you birth me? All up in my face Are you God? Tell me something, why does my body bother you? You got something you wanna share boo? Unicorns, be nice to yourselves and each other. Especially women, we are being torn apart enough by men, calling us ugly,fat,shapeless,hoes,pigs,sluts and the list goes on. Honestly, we get enough of that from other places, we really do not need it from each other too. Be honest with yourself. Stay true to yourself. Love yourself. Know your worth. You give more than you should, share more of yourself than is needed and never complain. You grow babies as a superpower, selected by God to be part of human creation. Happy Women’s Month Unicorns. May your effortless power and grace continue to grow and uplift you and more.
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By Bonginkosi Makwakwa
“Women, if you have lost yourself and given up to love, I am to be blamed, men are to be blamed” This Chronicle is from me and other men who understand what we have done. Today I want to get to your heart and apologise. Firstly I am sorry for making you believe that I am a man while I was a boy. I understand that you fell in love with the idea of a good man who is just broken. I lied so much to you, I sometimes cried because I knew that you’d have pity for me and then want to help me get through whatever pain I declared to be going through because I knew that you are a woman and your heart will quickly feel the pain. I am sorry that I took many precious things from you. I took the time you invested so much of on nothing, which is me, a man. Trust me, when I say I studied you woman oh yes I did and I came prepared, I told you everything good
you wanted to hear and of course this convinced you that in me you have found a home and someone who will be dedicated to protect and handle your heart with care so you gave me your heart, but what you did not notice is that I never gave you mine, I kept it to myself and all that I gave you were white lies and you believed me, you believed a man. Woman I made you believe me and even trust me with all of you and I never stopped studying you, I learnt that now you trust me with your life, you are addicted to me, I misused your trust. I became so abusive, I cheated and you found out. I lied to you and faked a few facial expression and put all the blame to the woman you caught me with saying; “she had been after me all along”. I know how abusive I
was verbally to you and how it left you broken. I am sorry I was not the man you fell in love with but a mere boy. The truth is I was hurt by my first love and I held the grudge. Since then when I met other women I have been hurting trading their hearts for the most rotten part of mine served on a silver platter. I gave you poison and sure you were not to survive, did you? I served you a platter of vengeance meant for girls before you. I just thought everyone was hurting someone, so I did to you what was done to me. I am sorry, to every woman who was involved with me, those that I made stay with me while I had a girlfriend back home, to those who were even willing to change me or wait for me to be a better man, I am sorry to every woman I so viciously manipulated that even today they cannot get over me. I used you, played you with my tears, wronged you and hurt you so deeply that you were left with nothing but tears. I am sorry for making you believe that if you slept with me you’ll be worthy of my time but not good enough for a relationship with me. I portrayed the image of a man in love with God, who loved church and was so kind when in
reality I was just a terrorist with the aim to destroy your heart. I am sorry I acted like a saint who wanted to help you with your studies while I wanted to help myself sexually. I am sorry that I made you think that I was a friend who cares about you, a shoulder to cry on while I wanted to get between your legs and hurt you even further Women, if you have lost yourself and given up to love, I am to be blamed, men are to be blamed. I broke your heart because mine was not healed in anyway. I understand that I am guilty of the crime of making love a horrible thing. Women, to all of you, I am sorry. I want you to be weary that men like me are surrounding you every day of your life on your WhatsApp, on your Messenger, at work, in class, at church, at the mall. Men like me are everywhere, be careful of them. They might just destroy you like they did many others. Even those who rise from your past, study them very well too. These men know what to say, how to say it and when to say it. You will see they have the walk, they know where to be at what time. They are expects! Take it from me I know. On behalf of me and other men who are fixing themselves, I am sorry.
MORE
THAN A WOMAN by Rethabile Kau
Pictured: Rethabile Kau
Growing up, I had set so many standards for myself based on societal standards. At the age of 25 years, I should be done with school and working and by the age of 27 I should be married with kids. How hard could that be right? Boy, did life have different plans for me. When I finished my matric, I grew a love for working with people in a social way and decided to study Human Resources Management, mostly for the human part but I did not really have a lot of knowledge of what it would entail for me to study this course. While in varsity, I was unfulfilled and decided to get a job doing sales, marketing and promotions and what was supposed to be a part-time job soon
became a full-time job and I eventually dropped out of varsity. The pressure of being a varsity drop out eventually started getting to me and later found myself working in the banking industry where I was extremely unhappy and tired all the time. I took a stand and refused to be that person that complained about their job every chance I got. My experience from working in the marketing industry taught me how to work with people and I eventually started falling in love with Events and Public Relations. I realised in order to build this dream I had, I had to to go back to school. In order to gain more knowledge and experience, I started
global vision. it is a company that aims to impact the entertainment industry in a futuristic manner. The company believes that it is time African women laid their footprint globally in the entertainment industry to impact the world and bring about change. Global Footprint Entertainment thrives on creating the ultimate events lifestyle experiences, promoting artists, organising amazing events and has also aims in represented a couple of good upcoming artists in terms of PR services and giving women a working platform.
Women’s month
studying for a diploma in Public Relations. Here I was, at the age of 23, starting school afresh when the plan was to be done by the time I reached this age. On top of that I had also started my new business venture called Global Footprint Entertainment. Enjoying what I was doing the years flew by and now I am almost done with school and working hard to keep my business above water.
Global Footprint Entertainment
It is an entertainment company that specializes mainly in Events such as, weddings, corporate events, charity events, birthday parties, graduation parties and so forth and Public Relations. Global Footprint Entertainment has a
Being a woman is represented by strength, with all the hardships we continue to face we stand strong and face our obstacles head on. What it means being a woman today is understanding the struggle and the humble beginnings we come from and using those beginnings to strengthen ourselves and our communities, to keep improving our nation. Empowering one another and building ourselves as women so that we can move forward and create something that the future generation can look forward to. Being a woman is represented by strength, with all the hardships we continue to face we stand strong and face our obstacles head on. What it means being a woman today is understanding the struggle and the humble beginnings we come from and using those beginnings to strengthen ourselves and our communities, to keep improving our nation. Empowering one another and building ourselves as
“I wish there was someone to help me in terms of platforms, someone to motivate me when I wanted to give up” women so that we can move forward and create something that the future generation can look forward to. Women liberation and empowerment is important to me because I have faced a lot of struggles, our struggles may not be the same but I wish there was someone to help me in terms of platforms, someone to motivate me when I wanted to give up and just people along the way that support you not because they have something to gain or to benefit but just because they see the potential in you. As women we need to make the efforts to stick together and help one another
and not wait to be rescued by men but go out there and work on our dreams, aspirations and purposes. Words of wisdom, things may not always go as perfectly and smooth as we may want them to but the key is to keep pushing and to never give up. Dreams may change from time to time and that’s perfectly okay as long as we do not stop dreaming and never give up on ourselves. HAPPY WOMEN’S MONTH LADIES AND REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELVES FIRST!!
The problem with purity
Written by Lawrence Adams photo by Sarah Diniz Outeiro
P
hysically speaking, virginity does not exist. No one can ever look at a man or a woman and for certain say whether or not she has had sex before. I think it is safe to say that virginity is just another tool used by people to further degrade women.
Think about it, Why is the purity of a woman so valuable and that of a man does not mean a thing? Why is it that the sexual history and activity of a woman bothers everyone even those without vaginas? Have you ever stopped and wondered why it is that everyone in society has
to have a say about what women choose to do with their sexual organs, how it is used, when, why, with whom and all this other b.s around female purity. What is virginity? Virginity is said to be the state of never having had sexual intercourse. Why is a woman’s virginity
Photo byLeatija Buscaylet
more important than that of a man? There are three reasons why virginity is such a big deal in modern society To quantify the value of a woman, divinity and being closer to a deity, the praise that religion places on virgin women. Virginity as a measure of female value
Since the dawn of time men have seen women as prizes, objects, something to have and own - instead of someone to be partners with. Women are thus praised for their “purity”, with those presumed as virgins being labelled as more valuable than those who are not virgins. This would also play out in
dowry negotiations. A woman’s sexual history is discussed but the man’s sexual history is not a big deal. Imagine your value as a person is being placed on whether you have had sex before or not and sometimes even being disowned and isolated from society or even worse your family
just because you are a sex having female. So in essence virginity pushes the belief that sexuality and a woman’s value are inversely proportional, when one increases the other decreases. Virginity’s contribution to social ills The concept of virginity feeds into patriarchy and has very sexist views. It suppresses the sexuality of one demographic while it amplifies the sexuality of another demographic. It also perpetuates the ideology that men carry, that they have ownership over the women in their lives. And is used as a tool to suppress women’s sexual needs, desire and their ability to make decisions on how they want to express themselves as sexual beings. Last but not least, virginity contributes to slut-shaming {slut-shaming is when you place guilt and subordination on women for their sexuality by guilt tripping women for losing their virginity}. Virginity is also treated as a commodity hence, questions like how it is “lost”? And who is it “taken” by?
Photo by Anthony Tran
HER PRIDE Written by Bilicia The Unicorn Khosana Photography by Nkanyezi Gumede
D
uduzile Mabaso is an NWU Golden Key student and the reigning Miss Vaal Plus Queen who has started a community initiative called Her Pride, a drive and event that strives to tackle issues with sex, menstrual cycles, teenage pregnancy, STDs and STIs and also giving high scholars motivation and a sense or responsibility for their own lives. Five 75 was invited to experience the event in all its glory.
Duduzile shared with us that Her Pride was an initiative set to aid the need of sanitary pads in high schools. She mentions how she would like to see Her Pride working to become a monthly supplier of sanitary pads and essentially giving access to those in need. Her Pride originally started as a drive for sanitary pads and its founder has found the drive developing and growing into a whole event with motivational
speakers like Jerry Bangude and Blessing Mahloko as well as performers like Outrage SA and Flex Von Doom (remember him? Yeah he was there too) to not only inspire but to inject some motivation in kids who go to public schools and are from underprivileged townships and it was quite the success. Her Pride is also connected to a programme called Adopt A Scholar, which is run by Golden Key International NWU ,
which aims at adopting underprivileged kids and helping them with supplies and food on a monthly basis and to stimulate a sense of responsibility, direction and vision in disadvantaged scholars. Duduzile wants to see Her Pride keep growing as an event and a drive. The drive will continue giving out pads in local high schools on a monthly basis and hopes to be delivering pads monthly to at least 20 schools by 2020.
SEXUC
CATION
“We are responsible for diminishing the awkward moments when the sex scene comes up on tv.”
F
or generations the sex topic has been one that was always sure to touch a few nerves. It is critical that sex be discussed and addressed so that it doesn’t continue to be the taboo topic of every community, like the prodigal son we need to welcome it back with open arms. Sex+Education= Sexucation and it really doesn’t have to be a topic that people flee from. I
think that I speak for most of us when I say we wouldn’t dare ask our parents about the fundamentals of sex because of the backlash that would reign down on us just from asking or even saying the word sex. Let’s just assume it is too late for the previous generations and that we, as Generation Y, can normalize this ‘sensitive’ topic. Imagine walking up to your parents announcing that you are ready to have
sex and them helping you take necessary precautions to prevent infections and unwanted babies, you are probably reading this and thinking that’s impossible and that hell would have to freeze over before that happens. It starts with us though. We need to educate ourselves so that we can better educate our kids about sex Give access to information on how to protect themselves, how to say no, the whole nine yards.
It’s obviously not going to be easy, it will be awkward but you can choose to be the parent that protected their child or that parent that yelled at their child when they came home with a big belly. It is how we came to this planet, it is how we multiply. Nonetheless, the future generation that will be
ubered into this planet by us need to have sufficient knowledge about these things, no more stories like: ‘your brother was dropped on our doorstep by a stork or an aeroplane. We are responsible for giving birth to future productive members of society and it is up to us to groom them accordingly,
teach our sons that when she says no he should step away and that just because y’all are dating or married it doesn’t mean that you are entitled to something, solidify that no means no. We should teach our daughters that financial dependence is not an achievement and that they do not need anyone to
confirm their beauty and that it is okay to say no. We are responsible for nailing the truth into our children, we are responsible for diminishing the awkward moments when the sex scene comes up on tv, wouldn’t it be nice to laugh about it a bit and brush it off? Sex education
especially in schools should be more direct and blunt, the appropriate pros and cons of this phenomena and if all doesn’t really go well you will know that you did your part..
A tribute to amazing women
We asked 4 photographers to create photo tributes to honour the women they’ve had the pleasure of meeting and working with in their lives. These tributes were a celebration of all these beautiful women, their strength and their diversity First up
Nkanyezi Gumede
- Next up Lesego Mokoena Follow Lesego on IG: @sho.lesego
Up next we give you Mosa Bodibe Follow Mosa on IG: @faithbodibe
And finally we present Thabo Makhoana Follow Thabo on IG @hazer_makhoana
Women Making Moves Written by Bilicia The Unicorn Khosana Photography by Nkanyezi Gumede
Rethabile Kau Founder of Global Footprint Entertainment Public relations practitioner Events manager ‘The essence of my womanhood comes from my family, growing up and seeing my grandmother being a business owner. Seeing her and my mother being the strong women that they are, I have always strived to walk into their footsteps. But, as a young woman, I am my own person. I have always tried to find strength within myself. You need to look to yourself for things, you can have role models and people that you look up to but essentially, everything that you do needs to come from yourself. Only you can inspire and empower yourself. Seeing other women thrive in their industries is also is inspiring. It gives us something to want to work towards and want to become part of this movement. ‘Having started my business, one of the
reasons for me having my own thing was because I wanted to change the idea that women are these fragile, soft beings that should not do much and so many times we put ourselves in a box. I wanted to inspire other women to just get up and do things on their own. My entertainment company also has a program that works at helping other women with growing themselves, their businesses and to give them encouragement. ‘ ‘It is important to have a strong sense of self because you can only look outside so much and then the rest of it needs to come from within you. Be focused on yourself and your own hustle, be able to rely on yourself. ’
Thokozani “Thoxie” Mkhwanazi Dancer, Model Choreographer Aspiring fitness guru Law student
‘I have found myself and my happiness in dance. Me being on stage, it is just me, the music and the stage- no other thing. My happiness is legit the dance floor or a space where I can hear music. If I am dancing, I am in my element. ‘ ‘I was raised by two amazing women, my mother and grandmother and they taught me how to be the strong and independent woman that I am today. They have taught to be a strong woman within myself, a woman who does not need a man. They have taught me about happiness and the importance of having happiness in your life. I am thankful, especially to my late grandmother, she was my best friend. ‘
‘ I have two beautiful baby sisters and they are my everything. I really try to be positive role model to them and to inspire them. Everything that I do, I do- not to disappoint, no. When they see pictures of me, I want them to see and be proud, for them to say, ‘WOW, that is my sister and if she can get here, so can I. I want them to believe in themselves and to look at me as this young girl that was once bullied and insecure, turn her life around for the better. I want them to have a sense of independence and to be strong within themselves and to not shy away from actually being unapologetically themselves. And also for everybody too, just be yourself and do you. ’
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FI V FA E SH IO N
This month we are celebrating the beautiful women in our lives and we have given them the microphone to speak out, more specifically to speak on men’s fashion. The question we asked was what fashion mistakes do men do that should immediately be stopped. The responses were of course tailored to what each lady wants in a man, however, there are 5 common mistakes that all men should never do.
1.
Wearing jeans that are way too tight This is a mistake that is done so many times that it is considered normal. Women wear tight clothes to accentuate their curves and body shape. Now, when men decide to wear tight jeans or chinos it brings across the same effect and since most guys don’t have curves then your legs end up looking like sausages. Another important issue with wearing extremely tight pants is that you don’t allow your “boys” to breathe. So gentlemen, to avoid being mistaken for a girl when looking the other way, find a fit that is not too big or too small.
Nismatching yout outfit This is, in all honesty, a result of being lazy. When you decide on going out, you must be proud of the outfit you have on, always give careful attention to detail. It is a major mistake to be wearing a formal shoe with sweatpants. There are pieces that do work together but need you to carefully think them through. For example, wearing a suit with smart sneakers (Stan Smiths for example).
3.
2.
Not taking care of your hair Firstly, you need to understand that your hair plays an important role in your total look. Secondly, you should know which cut suits you (more specifically your head) from there you need to make sure that you maintain the fresh cut. You know your hair well and how often it grows so based on that create a schedule that will allow you to maintain the fresh look.
4.
Not taking care of your hair This point might upset some people but it is necessary. As an alpha male, an important attribute that you must have is consistency; this is not achieved when you’re always chasing after trends that are blowing up on the internet. You need to find your own style and then integrate it to remain relevant. When deciding to follow a trend you need to determine whether it can work well with your style and whether it will last, this is not very easy so you need to give it time. Once a trend hits, check who is rocking it and if you feel it looks good.
Trying too hard This point might upset some people but it is necessary. As an alpha male, an important attribute that you must have is consistency; this is not achieved when you’re always chasing after trends that are blowing up on the internet. You need to find your own style and then integrate it to remain relevant. When deciding to follow a trend you need to determine whether it can work well with your style and whether it will last, this is not very easy so you need to give it time. Once a trend hits, check who is rocking it and if you feel it looks good.
5.
Photo by Mariya Georgieva
FIVE MUSIC Photo by James Owen
2018 is just a year of fire music being released on a weekly basis and our ears can barely keep up.
Uthini ngo PRO? South Africa has lost a gem. Rapper and music hero to many, Pro Kid has sadly passed at the age of 37 due to a seizure. Rest in Power Pro. South African hearts are truly broken.
Stay Dangerous YG is the last of a dying breed. He embodies what hip hop was initially supposed to be in his work, those elements of NWA the old Snoop and NAS can be heard echoing in this album.
Travis’s world It’s been 2 years since we had the pleasure of listening to a full body of work from la flame and Astroworld comes in due time, I will let you take a listen and conclude if it is a classic or not and as they say numbers do not lie.
Blacklez’s Baby Brother My fellow vernacular hip hop heads will agree that this is probably one of the best rappers to ever come out of SA and his latest offering is expected to have bars, punchlines and of course classics. Tell us what your ear thinks.
Mac Miller is Swimming in our feelings It is not open for discussion, Mac Miller makes up the top 5 list of the best white rappers of all time, he is blunt, playful and relevant, the execution and the quickness of his raps makes him unique and one of the best to do it.
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Sabine Schmitz
Sabine Schmitz, is the first woman in the history of the Nurburgring to successfully set a lap. The Nurburgring is one of the most dangerous most challenging circuits in the racing world and has claimed dozens of lives, so for someone to complete this lap is one for the record.
Women And Speed Shawna Rochelle Kimbrel Shawna is the first black female pilot of an F16 fighter jet. Flying an F-16 fighter jet is no child’s play and male or female you must have nerves of steel, I mean there is overcoming the fear of heights and speeds capable of breaking the sound barrier and amongst all of that you have to keep cool and calm so that one doesn’t crash.
Mae-Carol Jemison The thought of being in space and being so far from the ground is capable of scaring a considerable amount of people but one woman in particular defied these odds I’m talking about Mae Carol Jemison, the first black female to explore space.
Joi “SJ”Harris And last but most certainly not least, let us pay homage to the fallen stuntwoman that was helping create Deadpool 2’s action scenes. Joi ‘SJ’ Harris, Deadpool 2 is a masterpiece because of your brave and selfless contributions.
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Deglamorising the hustle Written by Lawrence Adams
H
appy socks, tight suits, expensive watch and a twang to rival all twangs. That is what is portrayed as an entrepreneur on social media (Instagram) and media. Let’s be honest, a story on an entrepreneurs struggles and how they overcame the different obstacles like lack of funding is a great read and great to watch or listen to. I am not one of those people who doesn’t want others to celebrate their victories. I believe that victories must be celebrated and entrepreneurs should look their best at all time if they are into that type of thing. This is also not written to scare you
away from entrepreneurship it is just to let you know that by choosing to be a hustler you played yourself. This will not be an easy ride but it is something worth doing. There is no glamour in entrepreneurship! Now this one is not for those entrepreneurs who have built companies that gross large sums of money. This is a wakeup call for all those starting and are just at the beginning of their journey as entrepreneurs. THERE IS NO GLAMOR IN
ENTREPRENEURSHIP. When you have taken the decision to be an entrepreneur you need to understand that you are the least privileged person in the organization. You are the first to arrive and the last to leave, you do most of the work but get the least pay, you play the position of super sub – meaning that if anyone in your company is missing you should either find a replacement or be the one who replaces that person, your company will not feed you in the beginning, hell it will take more then it gives back. The curse of entrepreneurship Not everyone can be an entrepreneur. Not because people who are entrepreneurs have some kind of superior gene or are super smart but because entrepreneurship will humble you. Hustling will break you down, chew you up, and spit you out. Those who are bitten by the hustle bug and want to be entrepreneurs are cursed. No one will give you a hand down, everyone wants something from you, you are being rejected time after time after time and your ego
is getting dented time after time and you are expected to be on your hustle 24/7. The heat in the kitchen The hustle is not place for wax figures. If you break under pressure or melt when things get heated you will not make it. In order to be a hustler you need to grow a thick skin and an “I can� attitude to thrive and come out triumphant. Besides the naysayers and doubters you have to convince people that what you are selling is worth their time. It is easy as an entrepreneur to feel like everyone is against and to feel alone and on your own. Then why be an entrepreneur? Well the main aim of entrepreneurship is to create value, but there is something bigger than that. Something more fulfilling. And it is the creation of a product or service to your specification and seeing others enjoy it, interacting with others and building a family of people who were strangers before. Being able to look up and say I built this, being able to leave a mark and build a legacy
Retail therapy (How a woman once felt) by Tsholofelo Molosi Maybe if he sees me walking to a clothing store, I would much better to him. Take me to a manufacturer to manufacture me better than the way biology did. Take me away from natural essence because it is not real. Standing in front of a till defines a woman’s “beauty” with “artificial essence.” I have black circles around my eyes due to all the tears I have cried because I cannot afford to cover them with “products”. Retail therapy may go against nature in some instances, like buying lipstick to hide cracked lips caused by acid from your eyes, eye shadow to give your eyes a better cover than your skin could, and contact lenses to give you a better colour than your iris could provide you with. What if retail therapy could solve my relationship problems? Maybe if I wore make-up he would look at me like a woman because I stood behind the till, maybe if I was a retail therapist, he would see me as a moneymaking woman. Retail therapy could have a fashionably qualified doctor to operate my fashion sense, a neurologist to customize my brain. I believe he wants to spend on a girl that has a Brazilian weave to maintain. He wants a girl with “altered” eyes to gaze better into, because my dark circles hinder his gazing ability. I do not have labelled clothes from a retail therapist, but I make it work with what I have. Mama taught me that you can look good in anything, but only the right man will see you, a man who is not a retail psychoanalytic.
THE END