the archway spring 2018 newsletter
in this issue 2
the forward affirmations
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a spotlight on... connection
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tales of hope Eli's adventures
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upcoming events milestones
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contest time celebrating 20 years!
the forward
affirmations We received a note of commendation for one of our women who is preparing to move into independent living this spring. Here is what her volunteer supervisor had to say, “Tamara was an incredible asset to our team. I was impressed by her dedication – she never missed a day and was always very communicative with me. Her interactions with our clients were always empathetic and effective, and she kept a cool head in the face of any crisis! I never had to worry when Tamara was in the office – I knew she could handle whatever came her way.” We are so thrilled when we hear of these stories, 2 | the forward
you make a difference for every woman we serve with your support. In this issue we hope to share more inspirations with you as well as some information around understanding mental health concerns and those we care for. Our women take the Leap of Faith as they struggle with addiction and other mental health concerns, and just like Tamara they take the Leap of Faith way out of their comfort zone to discover a whole new way of living. Taking a leap of faith means believing in or attempting something despite being uncertain of the circumstances or outcomes. We encourage you to get involved by taking a
Leap of Faith with Adeara and supporting the work we do to help change the future of women and children on their journey
Face your Fears!
Leap of Faith
"Volunteers who pour themselves and their heart and soul out not only the day of the event, also on a daily basis with the day-to-day operations, programs and families impacted. Last, and not least were those who supported the event from helping us get out of the plane and to the ground safely, and those who sponsored the event and took care of us while we were ‘grounded’ by feeding us and entertaining us. My acknowledgement and gratitude needs to also be given to the other brave souls who also “jumped” that day. Together we made it possible for those affected by tragedy and trauma in their lives to have faith that there will be a brighter tomorrow, that they deserve to have it, and that they are worth making the effort to face their fears and take that leap daily, whatever that looks life for them. For me, as for many others who skydived that day, we have encountered days with those challenges of making positive choices and it is with the support of many people in my life personally and through business that I am able to love myself again, see my potential, and in turn give back to those on that same journey." -Charlene Lumsden
"This cause is amazing, fear is being conquered, lives are being changed and saved." -Mary Follette
If the adrenaline rush of jumping out of a plane at 14,000 feet appeals you, visit adearaleapoffaith. org to sign up as an individual jumper or a corporate jumper. Individual jumpers must raise a minimum of $1,500, while corporate jumpers are required to raise a minimum of $5,000. #JointheJump June 15, 2018 Register at www.adearaleapoffaith.org the forward | 3
“The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety. It's connection. It's all I can offer. It's all that will help [you] in the end. If you are alone, you cannot escape addiction. If you are loved, you have a chance. For a hundred years we have been singing war songs about addicts. All along, we should have been singing love songs to them.” -Johann Hari
a spotlight on...
connection Adeara becomes a home for each resident that walks through our doors. The people of Adeara become family and residents can experience a safe place sometimes for the first time in their life. Our desire for each and every woman who walks through our doors is that she could have a happy, healthy, full life of purpose and meaning that God has envisioned for her. We believe in the inherent worth of each woman and want to see self-sufficiency, independence and strength within their lives. All our residents have endured abusive pasts and demonstrate immense resiliency by overcoming every obstacle, facing their fears and doing the hard work of personal development. Addiction is often viewed as a moral failure, a personal and individual breakdown. This perception is the opposite of the truth. Addiction is the after-shock of a previous earthquake: child abuse, sexual assault, untreated mental health conditions, abandonment, neglect. No one decides to struggle with addiction, it simply becomes the best option. Addiction is the route for a person to escape themselves, which we all experience in varying degrees. Whether it’s food, 4 | spotlight
shopping, chocolate, gambling, alcohol or heroin, we all have a need to escape. Addiction is like an abusive relationship: it isolates, it drains, it crosses boundaries and turns against values, it becomes the unthinkable. For too long, we have been thinking about addiction in the wrong way. Addiction is not the problem; child abuse is, sexual assault is, untreated mental health conditions is, abandonment is, neglect is. Treatment for addiction is important to undo the tangled web of abuse that the addiction has formed. It’s absolutely necessary to unlearn mores from the addictive culture and re-learn positive patterns of relating to the self, others and the world. Treatment for addiction must be a trifecta to address trauma, mental health and the addiction because all three elements perpetuate themselves. Just as crucial as the tangible recovery process in classes, courses and skill building, is the process of restructuring relationships. The primary function of addiction is objectification; dehumanizing both the self and others. It is no
wonder then, the (in)actions that are taken in the wake of addiction: it is only dealing with objects. This is how women can steal from their mother, at that moment, they aren’t their mother but an object between themselves and the addiction.
Name/Caption
This is also how women can literally inject themselves with poison for decades, they are not themselves but an object between themselves and the addiction. Similar to an abusive relationship, women can reminisce with rose-coloured glasses the positive experiences of the addiction and forget about the destruction it has caused in their lives.
The recovery process, then, should focus on empathy, compassion and perspective taking. Relationships are so necessary because it is in relationships that we find ourselves, our identity. As humans, we cannot exist if not in relationships. Recovering from addictions needs to include caring others to demonstrate the worth and value of the individual. We all need to belong, to believe we are important and learn to care for others. -Bethany Zelent, Communications Director spotlight | 5
tales of hope
Eli's adventures
Throughout my life, I have faced many situations that have prepared me for the struggles I have experienced with my son. Unfortunately, these struggles started right from conception; I was a high-risk pregnancy, and stress filled all areas of my life. At birth, Eli weighed a healthy 8lbs 9oz but did not look as plump like I had expected. They took him to the NICU because he had low blood sugar and high Human Growth Hormones. During his first year, life was like a rollercoaster as I was thrown into being a new Mom with a child who had many health challenges and now was struggling with my own anxiety and addiction. Shortly after Eli turned a year I moved into Adeara with him, with the support of staff we started getting the needed appointments rolling: contacted Family services, and made doctors appointments at the Stollery; who sent us to different specialists – where he was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called 16P13.11 microdeletion, it causes gross and fine motor delays, speech and language delays, cognitive delays, autistic symptoms (behaviours and oversensitivity to lights and sounds, and non verbal) as well as potentially having seizures and heart problems in his future. Knowing this was scary, but also gave me a peace that we could move forward and get him the right type of care and support he needed. Throughout the countless doctors’ appointments and emotional struggles, the staff of Adeara was there for us, like family. Eli continued to struggle, although he was building strength and interacting more. Still something seemed wrong. Through the guidance and support of the staff who encouraged me in my recovery and to seek additional medical support for Eli, I continued to place my trust in God. This led Eli to an ear surgery that dramatically impacted his life and my own! Everyone noticed the change; within a couple of weeks, he was walking with more stability than ever before and finally began to speak. No words can describe the joy of finally being able to hear my son say, “Mama”. I’m not sure how I could have become the strong woman and Mom I am today without Adeara. Dawn, our CEO saw me and Eli in the hallway shortly after his surgery and she was taken aback by the beaming excitement and joy that was expressed upon his face as he “ran” to her. Then the further reaction on his face when she said, Proud of you, Eli.”, confirming he really could hear her. We took a moment to share and pray, thanking God for the miracle of Eli. It’s been almost two years since I came to Adeara, and I recently had the opportunity to encourage another Mom who has a child with similar challenges to Eli. I have learned compassion, empathy and love and now can even be a strength and encouragement to others. 6 | tales of hope
milestones
upcoming events
Tamara - 2 years in recovery Cheyanne - 6 months in recovery Katherine - 6 months in recovery Mavis - 1 year in recovery Monique - 6 months in recovery Angela - 6 months in recovery Jennifer - 6 months in recovery Kaelynn - 6 months in recovery
Leap of Faith June 15, 2018 www.adearaleapoffaith.org
We were honoured to share a visit at Adeara with Minister Marlin Schmidt and his team and talk about how great a community we have that embraces mental health and supports families! We shared about our program and the women and children we serve and opportunity to help more!
Evening of Dreams October 12, 2018
Our staff and residents participated in a traditional blanket ceremony exercise - it was a liberating and eye-opening experience
Marleen Gray, Dawn Himer, Minister Marlin Schmidt, Mirande Alexandre, Bethany Zelent
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contest time
Are you an artist that is passionate about design that creates change?
celebrating 20 years!
We want to hear from you, how you connect with the mission of Show us your talent our organization, by creating a one-of-a-kind t-shirt and the difference we are for the Adeara T-shirt making together to transform Design Contest! women's lives! The winning design will appear on our t-shirt and/or featured online on printed materials. The winner will receive two tickets to the Annual Evening of Dreams Gala - a prize valued over $200. Email adrienne@adeara.ca for contest rules and details.
email us your story at office@adeara.ca
Phone: 780. 423. 5516 | Fax: 780. 429. 1090 | office@adeara.ca | Follow us @adeararecovery
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With an act of giving, you ensure that families can grow forward. Thank you! Individual gifts will be acknowledged with an official tax receipt for income purposes. Charity Number 899611032RR0001
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