Homeland Magazine April 2021

Vol. 10 Number 4 • April 2021

Homeland M A G A Z I NE

Your Children Deserve the Best of You!

Month of the Military Child PURPLE UP!

FOR MILITARY KIDS

Veterans

Resources & Support

A Legacy Left Behind

Transition to Civilian Life

Careers In Law Enforcement

What’s Next

LANDING TECH JOBS

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Honor Ride 2021 Join us in supporting Honor Ride 2021!

WWII Paratroopers Tom Rice and Vincent J. Speranza, both featured in the Purple Foxes United story, will begin the ride with the “Pass the Torch” project. Rice who jumped on D-Day will "Pass the Torch" to Speranza, who came in as a replacement after the D-Day losses.

Speranza will then lead Honor Ride 2021 from San Diego to the Vietnam Veterans Wall in Washington, D.C. Follow Vincent J. Speranza as he travels across the country to "Pass the Torch" onto the next generation spreading patriotism and honoring those who have fallen.

Honor Ride 2021 launches on May 15th at Mt. Soledad National Veterans Memorial.

How can you support?

Sponsorship, please contact: cjmachado@LoveAmazinglyProductions.com Purchase a dog tag representing the 1585 POW/MIA from the Vietnam War. To purchase a dog tag in honor or memory of a veteran, or to learn more about Purple Foxes and Honor Ride 2021, go to:

www.purplefoxesunited.com 2

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ARMY MARINE CORPS NAVY AIR FORCE COAST GUARD SPACE FORCE You Can Join Navy Federal

Join a credit union that understands what it means to serve. On average, our members earn and save $361* more per year by banking with us.

Visit navyfederal.org to join.

Insured by NCUA. *Dollar value shown represents the results of the 2019 Navy Federal Member Giveback Study. The Member Giveback Study is an internal comparative market analysis of Navy Federal’s loan and deposit account rates as compared to the national average for similar products. © 2021 Navy Federal NFCU 13971-E (1-21)

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1/28/21 2:48 PM

Foundation for Women Warriors H O N O R H E R S E RV I C E | E M P O W E R H E R F U T U R E

When you think of veterans, do you think of women? We do...

“Foundation for Women Warriors has been there for me when I needed it most. Last Spring, I was in my final semester of my bachelor’s degree at Cal State. I was working and taking a full load of classes while raising my son by myself. I was having trouble paying for extended care hours at my child’s daycare and was only weeks away from being completed with my degree program. I knew that I could not quit school and wanted to graduate on time. Foundation for Women Warriors provided me childcare assistance, mentorship, and so much more. If it were not for this amazing foundation, I would not be a college graduate today. I recently accepted a new job and am now enrolled in a master’s program.”

- Rebecca O., USMC Veteran

Would you like to support women veterans?

Visit our website to learn about our mission and how you can help: foundationforwomenwarriors.org Foundation for Women Warriors is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization Tax ID no. 20-5523954, contributions are fully tax-deductible.

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EDITOR’S

LETTER

Publisher Editor-In-Chief Mike Miller mikemiller@HomelandMagazine.com

Contributing Writers Holly Shaffner Veteran Advocate

RanDee McLain, LCSW A Different Lens

Jenny Lynne Stroup Real Talk: Mental Health

Vicki Garcia

Enlisted to Entrepreneur

CJ Machado

SD Vets & Homeland Photojournalist

Kelly Bagla, Esq. Legal Eagle

Tana Landau, Esq. Legally Speaking

Joe Molina

Veterans Chamber of Commerce

Eve Nasby

www.HomelandMagazine.com

What’s Next - Transitioning

Amber Robinson Arts & Healing

Eva Stimson Greetings and a warm welcome to Homeland Magazine!

Veteran Advocate

Please take some time to get to know the layout of our magazine.

The Magazine focuses on national resources, support, community, and inspiration for our veterans and the military families that keep it together.

Human Resources

Our magazine is driven by passion, vision, reflection and the future.

The content is the driving force behind our magazine and the connection it makes with our veterans, service members, military families, and civilians.

The magazine is supported by a distinguishing list of national veteran organizations, resource centers, coalitions, veteran advocates, and more.

We are honored to share the work of so many committed and thoughtful people.

Homeland Magazine is a veterans magazine for veterans by veterans.

We appreciate your support and are so happy to have you as a reader of Homeland Magazine.

Mike Miller

Publisher/Editor mikemiller@HomelandMagazine.com 4

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Paul Falcone

Money Matters VA Lending & Personal Finance

Collaborative Organizations Wounded Warrior Project Rachel Bolles Disabled American Veterans American’s Warrior Partnership * Including National Veteran Organizations, Advocates & Guest Writers

Homeland Magazine 9528 Miramar Road, Suite 41 San Diego, CA 92126

(858) 275-4281 Contact Homeland Magazine at: info@homelandmagazine.com

April

INSIDE THIS ISSUE 8 A Legacy Left Behind - Steve Maloney 10 Month of The Military Child 11 DOD - Purple Up 12 PUT MILITARY KIDS FIRST 14 Working Together to Help Children 16 Camp Corral: Thinking of the Children 18 Your Children Deserve the Best 21 LENS: Resiliency 22 Seal Kids 24 Real Talk: You Matter To Me 26 Arts & Healing - LSD and the Inner Child 28 Adaptive Sports to Communities 30 Ms. California, Addresses Sexual Assault Awareness 32 Legal Eagle: Helping Your Kid Start a Business 34 Divorce During a Pandemic 36 Family & Transition 38 Landing Tech Jobs 42 What’s Next: Validate Your Value 44 Writing Difficult Emails 46 Veterans Chamber: Women Veterans in Business 53 Careers In Law Enforcement

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P R O U D LY S E RV I N G T H O S E

WHO SERVE WHO WE ARE Serving since 2003, Operation Gratitude is the largest and most impactful nonprofit in the country for hands-on volunteerism in support of Military, Veterans, and First Responders.

Deployed Troops

First Responders

3,000,000

Military, Veterans and First Responders Impacted

OVER

1 Million VOLUNTEERS

OUR MISSION To forge strong bonds between Americans and their Military and First Responder heroes through volunteer service projects, acts of Veterans

Recruit Graduates

gratitude and meaningful engagements in communities Nationwide.

WE BELIEVE Actions speak louder than words Saying “thank you for your service” is the start of a conversation that leads to a better understanding of service Hands-on volunteerism, acts of gratitude and meaningful engageWounded Heroes and Caregivers

Military Families

ments are the best ways to bridge the civilian-service divide We focus on empathy, resilience, service, and sacrifice rather than sympathy, challenges, needs, and pity

operationgratitude.com

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Registration open for Camp Corral

By Bryan Lett

A

fter a yearlong hiatus that consisted of virtual programs only, Camp Corral is planning to safely host 15 summer camps in 2021.

In partnership with DAV, Camp Corral provides free, one-of-a-kind summer camp experiences for children of wounded, disabled or fallen military service members and veterans.

To qualify for Camp Corral, children must also be between the ages of 8 and 15 on the first day of camp.

The organization partners with accredited community entities that offer traditional camp experiences through activities such as horseback riding, canoeing and rock climbing. A feature unique to the Camp Corral experience is that a military family life counselor is on-site to work with campers as needed.

Camp Corral has served over 24,000 military children—the majority of whom have a parent who was wounded, made ill or killed in service.

“DAV is honored to support Camp Corral and its mission of ‘strengthening military families, one child at a time,’” said National Adjutant Marc Burgess. “We understand that the children of military members endure unique sacrifices along with their parents. One of our priorities is to give them a chance to be kids while connecting with children from similar backgrounds and experiences. After a challenging summer in 2020, these kids deserve every opportunity available to them to enjoy each other’s company and the great outdoors.”

Through DAV’s Just B Kids scholarship program, more than 4,500 children of wounded, disabled or fallen veterans throughout the nation have attended Camp Corral programs for free. n

2021 Schedule dates

location

city

June 20–25

Triangle Y Ranch Camp

Oracle

AZ

Camp Twin Lakes at Will-a-Way

Winder

GA

Eastern 4-H Center

Columbia

NC

YMCA Camp Gorham

Eagle Bay

NY

YMCA Camp Carson

Princeton

IN

YMCA Camp Flaming Arrow

Hunt

TX

YMCA Camp Hanes

King

NC

June 27–July 2 July 4–9

state

YMCA Camp Manitou-Lin

Middleville

MI

July 4–10

YMCA Camp Wood

Elmdale

KS

July 18–24

Camp Lakotah

Wautoma

WI

July 25–30

YMCA Camp Classen

Davis

OK

Aug. 1–6

YMCA Camp Weaver

Greensboro

NC

YMCA Camp Shady Brook

Deckers

CO

Camp Southern Ground

Fayetteville

GA

YMCA Camp Ernst

Burlington

KY

Aug. 8–14

Schedule is subject to change. Visit campcorral.org for updates and COVID-19 safety measures.

APPLY TODAY!

Camp Corral continues to partner with sites that meet the highest standards required by the American Camp Association, and camps will continue to update their safety measures based on local guidelines and recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

close Applications opened Jan. 26 and will one month when each camp session is full or e mor For before the session’s first day. g. s.or information or to apply, visit justbkid

justbkids.org

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A Legacy Left Behind Last month we featured a story about a project called, Take Me Home Huey. Shortly after the story was published, we learned that project founder and artist, Steve Maloney, had passed away unexpectedly.

March article available at www.tinyurl.com/Huey-Article-March-2021

Having worked with Vietnam veterans on the project, he heard about the issues that they experienced returning home from the war - including harsh public criticism and mental health challenges from PTSD. Steve felt more attention must be brought to these issues.

Steve had created several influential art projects and pieces throughout his life and Take Me Home Huey was his proudest achievement.

Photo by Rodrigo Peña

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As part of the commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the war’s end, he conceived Take Me Home Huey® to thank and say ‘welcome-home’ to Vietnam veterans. His artistic goal was encouraging a healing dialog that bridges the gap between soldiers risking their lives for their country and society back home.

Drawing on a lifetime of creativity, in-depth conversations with survivors of the doomed Huey, others who served in the helicopter war, therapists, and historians, Maloney has crafted a stirring tribute to the unsung heroes of one of the nation’s most controversial conflicts.

The 216-page hardcover book with 180 stunning photos was released on March 29th, in honor of National Vietnam War Veterans Day.

Steve transformed a 47-foot Huey Helicopter that had been shot down on a medevac mission in Vietnam into a color work of art. The sculpture traveled the United States for nearly three years and was later documented in an Emmy-award winning film and supported by a powerful song.

The sculpture became a catalyst for conversation and encouraging veterans to share their stories of war as part of their healing process from PTSD. Steve’s legacy lives on in his sculpture, now on permanent display at the Palm Springs Air Museum.

Veterans who encountered the Huey felt an immediate connection to the aircraft and reached out to touch it. They recognized their squadron names incorporated into the artwork and responded to the symbolic imagery woven into the piece. This prompted many to open up and share their personal stories.

Always striving to give back, Steve decided to donate all proceeds from book sales to organizations that offer art therapy programs to veterans.

For more information about the Take Me Home Huey project or to purchase the book, visit: www.takemehomehuey.org

The story of artist Steve Maloney’s project is now manifested in a new book: Take Me Home Huey: Honoring American Heroes Through Art.

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Homeland Magazine

APRIL 2021 10

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April is designated as the Month of the Military Child, underscoring the important role military children play in the armed forces community.

Sponsored by the Department of Defense Military Community and Family Policy, the Month of the Military Child is a time to applaud military families and their children for the daily sacrifices they make and the challenges they overcome.

The Month of the Military Child is part of the legacy left by former Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger. He established the Defense Department commemoration in 1986.

Homeland Magazine joins the Department of Defense and the military community in celebrating April as the Month of the Military Child.

In DoDEA communities around the world, our most essential strategic imperatives are: establishing an educational system that progressively builds the college and career readiness of allDoDEA students; and establishing the organizational capacity to operate more effectivelyand efficiently as a model, unifiedschool system.

We aim to challenge each student to maximize his or her potential and to excel academically, socially, emotionally and physically for life, college and career readiness. www.dodea.edu/dodeaCelebrates/Military-Child-Month

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PROUD TO PUT MILITARY KIDS FIRST! By: Rob Frazier The Military Child Education Coalition believes there is no better cause than serving the children of those who serve us all. That’s why MCEC® supports all military-connected children by educating, advocating, and collaborating to resolve education challenges associated with the military lifestyle.

SchoolQuest™ - an initiative made possible through the

nonprofit’s partnership with USAA®, is also available.

The online program offers parents the ability to track their student’s academic progress through step-by-step guidance, course recommendations and graduation requirements by state and overseas (for those students enrolled in DoDEA schools) to eliminate concerns and keep every student on track to be college-, work-, and life-ready.

“SchoolQuest represents an important achievement

for MCEC, and we are proud to launch this initiative with USAA as we all celebrate the Month of the Military Child,” said MCEC President and CEO Dr. Becky Porter.

“Our partnership with USAA made the dream of SchoolQuest a reality, and the result is a free, online resource that provides every military-connected parent and student peace of mind, no matter where they’re stationed, around the world.”

Throughout April, we are proud to lead by example and join the rest of our country in honoring the sacrifices and celebrating the successes of nearly two million military-connected children during the Month of the Military Child.

As part of that celebration, MCEC has several initiatives and events planned throughout the month which will prove to be on-going, sustainable resources that reaffirm the importance of facilitating opportunities to put military kids first worldwide.

The April edition of On the Move® magazine is out highlighted by the Month of the Military Child theme: Future History Makers. The issue features amazing stories of military kids from across the U.S. and Europe who are making an impact in their communities, inspiring others through their resiliency and determination, and setting an example for others to follow.

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Learn more and sign up today at www.SchoolQuest.MilitaryChild.org Listeners of the MCEC Podcast will also hear a new change as we put military kids in charge. High school senior Tatihana, the president of Swansboro High School’s MCEC Student 2 Student® National Team of the Year, in Swansboro, N.C., will represent all military kids from around the world as the podcast’s official host all month.

Tatihana will also have the opportunity to lead an interview with the nation’s highest military officer, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Mark Milley and his wife Hollyanne. The MCEC Podcast is available each Friday, and you can listen live or download on Podbean or iTunes.

Registration is also open for biggest event of the summer - the National Training Seminar, scheduled for July 19-21. The three-day event, which is free of charge this year, is highlighted by industry leaders and subject matter experts, celebrates military-connected students, parents, and educators.

Register today at www.MilitaryChild.org/NTS.

For 19 years, military-connected students in grades k-12 have submitted their artistic reflections of life as a military kid as part of the MCEC Call for the Arts program. The event is open to all military-connected children and offers an opportunity to express their creative side through poetry, photos, and hand-drawn, colored artwork.

“MCEC is ready to provide the most interactive NTS in history,” added Porter. “We’re going to send a message loud and clear that no matter where we are around the world, we’re united, motivated, and excited to Embrace the Future for MilKids.”

Finally, if you are inspired by our mission, and would like to help, perhaps you might consider a small donation in recognition of a military kid in your life during the Month of the Military Child. All donations go to ongoing support of advocacy, education, and collaboration to ease the burdens transitions cause on militaryconnected children. If you would like to make a small gift, a donate button is available on our official website at www.MilitaryChild.org.

This year’s theme is: The View from My Home. Since military-connected children live in so many areas of the world, our hope is that their experiences will inspire them to show what life is life as an Army, Marine, Navy, Air Force, Space Force, and or Coast Guard dependent.

We encourage artwork, photos, and poetry that reflects the family dynamic, local community, and the people and places that make your part of the world unique. Winners in the following categories (k-5, 6-8 and 9-12) will receive $100 Amazon gift cards. Submission guidelines and instructions are available at www.MilitaryChild.org/programs/the-call-for-the-arts.

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Working Together to Help Children

By Rachel Bolles When someone enlists in the military, they are prepared to travel in support of serving their country. They are committed, knowing training and deployments will take them wherever they’re needed. But what about their family? What about their children? With April being Month of the Military Child, it is a good time to remember that even though children aren’t the ones who signed up to serve, their lives are affected dramatically. They might move often and change schools. They deal with having a parent, or parents, gone for long periods of time.

Since 2001, more than two million children have had a parent deploy at least once, according to Comfort Crew for Military Kids (CCMK). CCMK is one of the organizations Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) partners with to support the military community. Beyond dealing with deployments, military children also face challenges relating to reconnecting with family after separation, a parent’s visible and invisible injuries, and grief over the loss of a loved one.

“It’s important to remember that military kids serve, too,” said Dr. Becky Porter, Military Child Education Coalition (MCEC). “Often, adults thank each other for their service, and it’s customary to recognize the spouse for his or her sacrifice. Unfortunately, that is not the case for militaryconnected children.”

The impact of moving; deployments; transitioning between active duty, reserve, or guard; and leaving the service before retirement all can have an immediate and lasting impact on children’s social-emotional health.

Navigating Changes CCMK, a WWP partner since 2018, helps children navigate these changes. The partnership supports distribution of Comfort Kits for military children. The kits include resources targeted to a specific scenario a child might be dealing with, such as deployment, reconnecting with family, grief, or a parent’s injuries.

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“These kits are delivered all around the world at no cost to U.S. military families,” said Angela Salyer, CCMK executive director. “And it’s important to recognize that the whole family serves and to take the time to learn about their sacrifices.”

One way CCMK is involving the community is by hosting its first virtual fun run for Month of the Military Child.

The goal is to reach a collective total of two million steps to represent the children who have had a parent deploy at least once.

MCEC and CCMK also are encouraging participation in Purple Up! on April 15 this year. This is a time for schools and communities to recognize and celebrate military kids by encouraging people to wear purple — the color associated with joint service.

How You Can Help Military Children Because military kids move an average of six times between kindergarten and 12th grade, they’ve experienced diverse things that many civilian children haven’t. It’s helpful to ask them to share about where they’ve been and the cultures they’ve experienced.

“Asking them to share about where they’ve been demonstrates an interest in their lives and offers them a chance to talk about the things they’ve seen and the places they’ve been,” Porter said. “We want all military children to be proud of their affiliation with the military.”

WWP has partnered with MCEC since 2017. MCEC offers training, education, and support for students, parents, and educators. Through the partnership, the organizations help veteran and military-connected parents become their child’s best advocate in educational and social/emotional issues.

“We want to empower parents because we know they will always be their child’s first and best advocates,” Porter added.

The program provides resources and training opportunities through weekly webinars and workshops (virtual and in-person). These sessions foster a sense of community at their level to work with each other, the community, and local schools.

For Month of the Military Child, MCEC launched a toolkit with stickers, certificates, and options to purchase a shirt.

Weekly, the organization will highlight a story about a military kid who is a “future history maker.” MCEC also has military student transition coordinators at select schools who will host walk-a-thons to run, walk, and go the extra mile for military students.

CCMK also emphasizes the importance of volunteering in your community, donating to organizations that serve military kids and their families, and participating in community events benefiting military kids.

“Most importantly, the best thing anyone can do is develop a community of trust, make everyone feel welcome, and celebrate the uniqueness we all bring to our local areas,” Porter said.

About Wounded Warrior Project Since 2003, Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) has been meeting the growing needs of warriors, their families, and caregivers — helping them achieve their highest ambition.

Learn more at https://newsroom.woundedwarriorproject.org/about-us.

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When you think of wounded, ill, and fallen military heroes, do you also think of their children?

Camp Corral believes you should.

Camp Corral, a national non-profit organization, starts with the child to serve the families of our nation’s heroes. Since their inception in 2011, Camp Corral has recognized the very real hardships that go along with serving as a military-connected child – especially one who has experienced the trauma of having a parent become wounded, ill, or fallen as a result of their military service.

In keeping with their vision to empower these children to live their best lives possible, the Camp Corral team develops and delivers specialized programming designed to meet the unique needs of these children and their families. In the past ten years, some 24,000 children from every state in the nation have taken part in a Camp Corral week-long summer experience, at no cost to their families.

Along with traditional programs designed to offer respite, build peer-support connections, strengthen selfconfidence, and reinforce coping skills, Camp Corral took what was down-time for many organizations during the Covid-19 pandemic to bolster their supportive services with new holistic-focused programming. Searching for a way to continue to positively impact military-connected children, many of whom had come to rely upon their yearly experience with Camp Corral, the team crafted targeted programs to continue to reach the families during times of physical distancing, and beyond. This time spent in research became the chrysalis for new year-round opportunities such as Family Camp Retreats; Virtual Peer Connection Groups; Therapeutic Art Programs; Staying Healthy – Self Care for Child Caregivers educational programs; and a free virtual video series, Life Tools for MilKids, which teaches resilience and coping skills designed with these children and their families in mind.

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Leigh Longino, CEO of Camp Corral, stated that as exciting as these times are heading into the summer camp season, the Camp Corral team is also disappointed that available spots for campers have had to be reduced by more than 50% this year. “As with many communities and businesses around the world, our friends, partners, and long-time donors have also faced difficult challenges financially which have unfortunately resulted in a lessening of their ability to help contribute to the camp experiences for these children”. Heading into April, the Month of the Military Child, the camp has more than 1,700 children on waiting lists to attend camps across the country.

“As disheartened as we are that not every child who wants to attend our camp programs will be able to do so this summer we are determined not to be deterred,” Longino continued. “Our team is eager to forge ahead and make the best of every opportunity we have to change the very real hardships that go along with serving as a military-connected child.”

And forge ahead they have. Registration recently opened for Camp Corral’s new Family Camp Retreats and spots were quickly being filled. Through this new all-inclusive program Camp Corral is expanding its impact on the entire family by offering a variety of fun activities coupled with opportunities for much needed respite and reconnection within family groups.

“Our desire to incorporate Family Camp Retreats was an organic evolution of our commitment to supporting the needs of the wounded warrior family,” said Hannah Hutler-Boyd, Chief Program Officer of Camp Corral.

“We are determined to create a deeper, more impactful experience for these children and their families and believe that by offering opportunities for them to

experience these retreats together we help them to build on their growth and healing as a family.”

Hutler-Boyd adds that research has driven expansions of support services offered throughout the year. “The research tells us that while military-connected children can be resilient, they can also have higher rates of risk-taking behaviors. About 10% of campers’ parents surveyed stated that their child has participated in selfharm or had suicidal ideations – that’s a startling statistic, especially when considering our camper age group is 8-15 years old.”

Camp Corral is combatting that statistic head-on by expanding holistic services to provide what they call the 3Cs of Resilience – Connection, Coping, and Confidence.

“Connection is vitally important for children of wounded, ill, or fallen warriors. These children can often experience feelings of isolation, of “otherness” due circumstances related to their parent’s service,” Longino explained.

“Our programs provide meaningful opportunities for healing, growing, and re-energizing a weary heart. For the children who participate with Camp Corral, they experience adventure, test their limits, challenge their fears, celebrate their accomplishments, and make life affirming friendships that remind them they are not alone – there are others who understand their unique attributes and challenges”.

Moving beyond conducting research and developing programs to support needs, Camp Corral is also actively advocating on behalf of the children and families they serve. “With the trust granted to us by these very special families, we are uniquely positioned to advocate with a perspective many non-family members ever see,” said Lori Noonan, Camp Corral’s Chief Development Officer.

“Our advocacy takes many forms, from local to national level initiatives, all with one goal in mind - empowering the children and families of our nation’s military heroes to live their best lives possible.”

For more information regarding Camp Corral, visit their website at www.campcorral.org

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Your Children Deserve the Best of You! Your children deserve the best of you, and we want you to be the best parent possible.

By Cindy Grossman, LCSW, Executive Director, Kids’ Turn San Diego This year, Kids’ Turn San Diego is celebrating a BIG milestone! We have been offering Family Workshops for Separated and Divorced Families for 25 years. Annually, approximately 500 children and their parents attend our programs, including about 200 military-connected children and their parents.

Did you know that the divorce rate in military families tends to be about 75%? Militaryconnected children experience multiple school changes and long deployments by one or both of their parents AND MANY also experience the permanent break up of their parents’ marriage, oftentimes resulting in living with one parent for most of the time due to the other parent’s service responsibilities.

Over the years, we have listened to thousands of children share their experiences, and, for the most part, their needs have remained stable over time.

“I want to see both my parents.”

“I want my parents to stop fighting/arguing/ yelling at each other.”

“I want my parents to pay attention to me.”

Prior to COVID-19, there were several common threads in the stories shared by the children attending our program. Children witnessed frequent fighting between their parents and were often brought into the fights. Children wanted to spend time with their parents, and they liked it when their parents got down on the floor and played with them. Some of the children felt like messengers passing information between their parents. A few of the children felt caught in the middle between their parents, an experience that was very stressful for them.

Many of the children wanted their family to get along because it stressed them out.

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One year ago, COVID-19 began to change everything. Most divorced parents came together and collaborated for the safety of their children, and children successfully transitioned from one home to their other home, week after week.

Every month, 5-12 military families attend our Family Workshop. During the graduation, parents are always asked to share one program take-a-way. One military dad’s comment was, “I learned how to use active listening as a way to hold space for our son and to ask if he wants advise instead of just giving it” and his military connected former spouse shared, “I learned to be present and to listen, even when my child’s stories are really long. I also learned how to communicate differently and how to get along with my co-parent better.” Seven year old Devon was attending the virtual program graduation from his mommy’s home and as the graduation was ending, Devon yelled out, “I love you daddy!”

Sadly, not all children are so fortunate.

Some children have found themselves stuck between parents with different beliefs, different strategies for ensuring health and safety, and, saddest of all, some children have had no contact with their other parent as one of their parents used COVID-19, probably unconsciously, as a tool to keep their kids away from their other parent.

In military families, we have heard from too many parents that their lives were shattered. During deployments, work ups and/or training missions, military parents returned to empty homes, finding out that their children were across the country with their other parent. GONE! Sadly, some children are still not seeing one of their parents to this day.

In every Workshop this past year, we have heard these stories over and over.

Regardless of your relationship with your co-parent or your history together, parents must remember that your children are not just yours. They are half of you and half of their other parent.

They are half of you and half of their other parent. They deserve to have healthy relationships with both of their parents — and you have a big role to play in this. Their brains are constantly developing, and they are learning from what they see and hear every day. They will copy the words and behaviors that are being modeled.

Your children deserve the best of you and we want you to be the best parent and co-parent possible. If you have taken your children away from their other parent or are engaging in blaming, name-calling, manipulating or controlling, we encourage you to take a look at yourself and the behaviors you are choosing. We invite you to think about your choices. Are they in your best interest, or are you hurt, angry or upset and need extra support to work through these feelings? Are they in the best interest of your children, or do your children deserve to have relationships with both their parents, regardless of how you may feel about their other parent? These are hard questions, but feelings are normal and okay when they are addressed in healthy ways and without involving your children and their relationship with their other parent. There are many resources available to support you, especially at Kids’ Turn San Diego!

If you are the parent who has not been able to see your children, here are some suggestions for making the most of your parent-child relationship, even if you are apart for now: • Know that someday your child will realize what has occurred and they will come back and want a relationship. This may take 10 years, but with almost all children, as their brain develops, they begin to see through the name-calling and bad-mouthing so be ready for this day.

• Keep a journal for your child. Pick out a special notebook and write a note to your child whenever you see something that reminds you of them. For example, maybe you see a beautiful sunset and it reminds you of a day you spent together at the beach.

Write a note in the journal to your child.

Continued on next page >

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“When I was walking the dog today, the sunset was amazing. Pink, purple and some orange. It made me think of you and reminded me of the time when we were at the beach and . . .”. Make sure to date each and every entry. Someday you will be able to present this journal to your child and they will realize that you thought of them often and wished you were together.

These journals are also a great idea if you are deployed.

Take it with you and write when you can. When you get home, present the journal to your children and they will know how much you missed them and thought about them.

• Put together a parent-child picture memory album.

Children love to see pictures of themselves when they were little and especially pictures with their parents.

Purchase a photo album or a binder to create a parentchild memory album. Add special photos of you and your child and write in notes and details. Someday you will be able to present this memory album to your child.

If you are seeing your children regularly, this is still a great idea! This is also a great idea for children to create for their parents when a parent is deployed or away from the family for an extended period of time. Younger children can ask for help from their older siblings or other adults.

Your Children Deserve the Best of You! Regardless of your relationship with your co-parent or your history together, parents must remember that your children are not just yours. They are half of you and half of their other parent.

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Pictures can be drawn or photos. These memory albums are a creative way to share stories when parents and children are together again.

April is Month of the Military Child. During the month, we celebrate military-connected children and highlight the important roles they play in the military community. April is also National Child Abuse Prevention Awareness Month and Parental Alienation Awareness Month. Parental alienation is any act by a parent that tries to destroy the relationship between a child and their other parent. Though not a syndrome or diagnosis, parental alienation can be considered a form of psychological abuse.

And childhood happiness most often does not include the word “abuse.”

Join us in celebrating military-connected children and in the prevention of parental alienation and child abuse. Support your children’s happiness and encourage your children to have a healthy relationship with their other parent!

To learn about Kids’ Turn San Diego programs, visit us at www.kidsturnsd.org

A Different Lens Mental Health Monthly

By RanDee McLain, LCSW

Resiliency

Know your resources: Many active-duty commands have a Family Readiness Group (FRG) or other form of family support.

Month of the Military Child

www.militaryonesource.mil

As I started to prepare for this article, I spoke to some military families I work closely with. One of the mothers told me her daughter had moved four times before her 7th birthday. That same child has never been in the same school more than two years in a row. That is a lot of change in a young person’s life, change of friends, change of school, change of environment, change of routine and so much more.

Resiliency is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or challenges. Our military children are resilient.

www.militarychild.org How can I support a military family?

• Offer to help the parents. When a service member is absent, it puts stress on the entire family unit and by helping the parent, you are in turn helping the child.

• Include and invite them to activities-Due to the frequent moves of military families, they aren’t always aware of the many activities and resources that exist within their communities. Invite them out and help them learn about the new community in which they live. This can have a tremendously positive impact on the military kids.

There are also the good times that come with military life. A dear friend of mine takes family photos in every duty station- but through the cultural lens of that location. She really works to immerse the children in the local culture while they are there- what an amazing learning opportunity. There are pictures of them at Luaus in Hawaii; riding camels in Bahrain and riding the trains through Europe. I didn’t get out of Arkansas till I was nineteen…..and these kids have seen the world before 10. They are resilient. They are strong. They are brave.

In April rock your purple and help us celebrate the military children in your life!! Military children are strong, courageous, and resilient.

There are ways to help support the resiliency of our military children.

Acknowledge their feelings-Allow them time to process upcoming changes and listen to how they are feeling. Allow them the opportunity to express their feelings and help them find ways to cope.

Model self-care and teach them healthy ways to deal with stress. Teaching our children that stress is normal and how to deal with it helps build resiliency at a young age. Children who feel cared for and loved have an easier time forming healthy relationships and handling challenges- stay connected. Find ways to bond and spend time together.

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SEALKIDS Navy SEALs are some of the most courageous and strong individuals in the world. SEALs make up just 1% of all Navy Personnel. While we may not always see what SEALs are up to because of their privacy and protection, SEALs are sent on missions daily that are unimaginable to most of us. SEALs spend up to 9 months of the year out of the home on mission and in training.

With SEALs being gone for most of the year, their spouses and families have to make sacrifices to keep SEALs on mission. Dad doesn’t get to come home at 5 pm and eat dinner with the family; SEAL families have to accept a unique normal and may need help to support children while one parent is away on lifethreatening missions.

Because even our bravest individuals need support, the national nonprofit SEALKIDS exists to help provide additional team members and support for SEALs and their families.

SEALKIDS was started in 2011 by a mother and two of her children who lived amongst the SEAL community.

SEALKIDS founder Suzanne Vogel and her children saw the stress placed on SEAL families and wanted to create an organization that could come alongside them.

SEALKIDS was founded by kids and for kids.

To help raise awareness and funds for SEAL children and their families, SEALKIDS partners with board members, donors, and companies to host events and fundraisers all across the United States.

SEALs are never out of the fight, and neither is SEALKIDS. A SEALKIDS SUCCESSES STORY In 2020 70% of the children SEALKIDS served had a diagnosed learning disability. Here is a look at one of the children that SEALKIDS has served and how the SEALKIDS process works.

Taylor is a seventh-grader who has dysgraphia and auditory processing delays. Her dad is an active-duty SEAL. When her parents first asked for help from SEALKIDS, Taylor was in the fifth grade but working at a third-grade level. SEALKIDS matched her with a tutor who had special training in dysgraphia and other learning disabilities. With continued support from SEALKIDS, Taylor is now performing above grade level.

Her SEALKIDS service provider shared this quote about her progress: “Taylor has Dysgraphia and fine motor problems that deepen her handwriting difficulty. In spite of all the problems, she has a great attitude with her tutor, and she is developing patience thatshe lacked. This is letting her improve her academic work fully, with better understanding and comprehension. She is much more confident.”

“Our daughter has flourished with the support of SEALKIDS. She is intelligent but lacks organizational skills and confidence. Her tutor has helped her see her potential, and now there is no stopping her! She knows how to handle her dysgraphia and work through it.”

– Taylor’s Parents.

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HOW TO JOIN THE SEALKIDS SQUAD In 2020, SEALKIDS was able to serve over 300 children.

This work is made possible by generous donors who have decided to sacrifice for those that sacrifice for us. By raising funds for SEALKIDS, you are helping the only nonprofit organization devoted solely to children’s educational support and success in the Navy SEAL community. Your generosity will help children living in a world most cannot comprehend, improve their grades and confidence to pursue their own mission in life.

SEALKIDS has created a variety of ways to support the organization.

Ways to Get Involved With SEALKIDS: • Learn about SEALKIDS - www.sealkids.org • Attend local events - www.sealkids.org/calendar • Purchase SEALKIDS Swag - www.tinyurl.com/SKSwag • Join the July Squad Challenge www.sealkids.org/calendar • Support the Denali Expedition Fundraiser www.sealkids.org/denali • Create a fundraising page www.tinyurl.com/SKFundraiser • Add SEALKIDS to your Amazon Smile www.tinyurl.com/SKAmazonSmile • Companies can reach out to contact@sealkids.org to create a partnership with SEALKIDS to raise funds and awareness for SEALKIDS and their companies.

IN NEED OF SERVICE? If you are in a SEAL family or know a SEAL family that could benefit from SEALKIDS services, please go to www.sealkids.org/request-help and fill out the form to request service.

www.sealkids.org/squadchallenge

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Real Talk: Mental Health

By Jenny Lynne Stroup, Outreach Coordinator for the Cohen Clinic at VVSD

You Matter to Me. These four words grace my favorite t-shirt and the walls of my favorite coffee shop. When I wear this tee, I wear it with intention. I want the reader of my t-shirt to feel the weight of the words and to know they are seen and loved.

Sometimes, though, I forget that I need to simply wear this shirt around my house, that the people within my four walls need to read, hear, and feel those words as much as anyone out there beyond our front door.

“You Matter to Me” is perhaps more important now than it ever was before, especially to the young people inside my house. It has been a year. A year of change. A year of weird. A year of hard.

So, as we move into this next phase where the now doesn’t necessarily look “normal,” how do we let those we love, know they matter; that, despite the increased stressors and pressures on us, our people matter to us?

At my house, this looked like becoming brilliant on the basics. I had ambitious goals-especially in regard to homeschooling my two children. I was going to do all the things, until I realized that not only do my boys matter

to me, but I mattered to me- and that meant overzealous ambition did not coincide with treating myself or my people well. I had to scale back-way back. I had to believe that basics were not just good enough; they were goodfor me, for my boys, for our collective mental health.

This back-to-basics plan helped our family immensely.

It helped keep some of the stressors at bay and also provided us more time to do things as a family, rather than dump all of our time and energy into work and tasks.

In addition to becoming brilliant on the basics, my family also navigated this last year with the help of mental health professionals. Not only did this take some of the mental strain off of me as an individual, but it also helped me as a mom. My children are receiving support from another adult who cares about their well-being.

In honor of Month of the Military Child this April, the following ideas for helping your child navigate the everchanging landscape of pandemic life were provided by mental health professional and Clinic Director for the Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at Veterans Village San Diego, Shari Finney-Houser.

PURPLE UP!

FOR MILITARY KIDS

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Let your children know they matter to you by: • Talking to them about the future - both the hopes and the possibility of setbacks.

• Helping them think about their future. What will they do? Do they want to go back to the same routine?

• Asking them what they are comfortable with, then listening to their questions and concerns.

• Acknowledging that most kids have spent more time on screens, then asking them if they have seen things/ learned things they are uncomfortable with and let them talk about it. If safe to do so, watch it with them.

• Encouraging new hobbies: painting, writing, gardening, cooking, baking, etc. It may be helpful to remind them what interested them when they were little.

• Encouraging new sports: surfing, running, swimming, skateboarding, and bike riding are all great Covid safer choices and if possible, do it with them or enjoy as a family.

• Providing opportunities to engage in new household responsibilities. In the age of everything being virtual, a task (like taking out the trash or mopping) can actually bring a lot of satisfaction as they see, touch, and feel the accomplishment.

• Engaging in safe social interaction. This may include both virtual and in-person interactions like video chatting with friends or meeting a few people in an outdoor environment.

• Being mindful that many people prefer to bond while doing something, not just chatting. If this is the case, explore baking, crafting, video games or other activities that can be done in tandem while online.

You matter to us.

Your people matter to you.

May the basics be brilliant, and the way forward be paved with good conversation and care.

Jenny Lynne Stroup serves as the Outreach Coordinator for the ​Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at Veterans Village of San Diego​. www.vvsd.net/cohenclinicsandiego The Cohen Clinic at VVSD is one of 19 mental health clinics nationwide under nonprofit Cohen Veterans Network​(CVN) which focuses on providing targeted treatments​for a variety of mental health challenges facing post-9/11 veterans and military families, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, transition challenges, and more.

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Arts & Healing Arts for Military Veterans

By Amber Robinson

Art, LSD and the Inner Child: One Coast Guard Vet’s Trip Into Healing When people think of psychedelics they usually think about them in the context ofsocializing or partying, maybe conjuring an image of a spaced-out hippie dancing wildlyat a music festival. Psychedelics like Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, or MDMA, most often called “Molly” and lysergic acid diethylamide, or LSD, are two of the most common psychedelics used for their euphoric and mind-expanding characteristics.

Not only are these drugs currently popular with those seeking to elevate their mood or personal experience at Burning Man, they have become a popular study focus for scientists and psychiatrists. The ways in which these drugs expand the mind can also be used to help heal the mind from those suffering with PTSD. But, you don’t have to tell Fran that, a Coast Guard veteran living with PTSD who has combined the healing power of art, with the healing power of psychedelics.

She was Introduced to the substance through a family member, taking it she noted the ways in which it alleviated the dark thoughts that often pervaded her mind after service and how it inspired her to create.

“I was always a creative person, ”said Fran. “But I was always like a Pinterest crafter. Like, oh, you want me to make that for you? I got you. I never considered myself an artist.”

But, while attending college after service in Arkansas, she truly put her creativity to the test and began to take art classes. The world she would soon step into was a far cry from her life as a gunner’s mate in the Coast Guard.

When asked why she chose to work with guns and ammo she proudly says, “My grandfather. He was a gunner’s mate during World War II. I even still have his uniform.”

Fran graduated high school early to join the Coast Guard.

Growing up partly in foster care, she learned that self sufficiency was best, and knew the military would provide her job security, plus many benefits her adopted parents could not.

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“By the time everyone else in my class graduated I was in India,” said Fran, “We were on our way to the Persian Gulf to support that conflict.”

For Fran, there has never been a time to truly relax.

Foster care has a way of making a child grow up fast.

So, Fran grew up fast. In the service she was driven and known for her work ethic and professionalism. She served 18 years honorably with the Coast Guard until her seperation in 2014.

Once out of service Fran used her Post 911 GI Bill to attain a Family Consumer Science BA at the University of Central Arkansas. Still in military mode, she maintained a flawless grade point average. Once she had her degree in hand she packed up her family and moved back to San Diego, which was her last duty station prior to leaving service.

Fran jumped into work doing homeless outreach once she arrived, continuing to maintain her same military work pace. But soon, her accumulation of military traumas and a life of hyper vigilance began to weigh on her more and more.

Overwhelmed and suicidal, Fran finally quit her job.

Shortly after, she was offered LSD as a way to self explore during this new time in her life. Initially she was dead set against taking the substance, but relented with hopes it would help her mental state. It was during this very first psychedelic experience that she decided to paint.

Fran points to two paintings on her walls, “I painted those, that night,” she said.

“It was just so natural,” she said. “I could feel the pretendness of my [hyper vigilant behavior] just falling away.”

Fran painted for the duration of the “trip”, with the experience becoming emotional, but in a positive way, she explains. As she painted, she also cried, letting go of pain that had clung to her for years. www.HomelandMagazine.com

Her favorite technique for glow in the dark paints has been finger painting. I think back to points in my childhood where I may have finger-painted, unable to use a brush due to my naive age. As she waves her hands in the air, happily explaining how she creates “different galaxies” in paint with her finger tips, I realize through LSD and painting she has finally found the inner child she put away when she was put into foster care.

Now, decades later, it seems she has found a pathway back to a more pure version of herself. As I think this she recounts a few times in foster care or during her childhood when she was able to color or create.

“I could all of a sudden cry without feeling like a leak,” she said, “when I cried it felt like it was washing away all these bad feelings I’d had for so long.”

That first experience with LSD and painting was in December, 2020. Now, in late Spring of 2021, Fran’s small apartment is already filled with large pieces of abstract art. Her pieces use different techniques, many that she develops as she paints. She loves to use different elements to give the paintings different types of depth, such as glitter or glow in the dark paint. She puts different parts of her trauma onto her canvases, leaving it behind in a new beautiful form.

“Those were the only times I felt like myself,” she said.

“It’s like that now. When I create I’m not [Fran] the Coastie, or mom or anything else. When I create, the veil is lifted and I am just myself.”

Her demeanor is light and airy as she lines up her paintings, some small, some huge, telling me their names. She “charges” some with a black light then turns off the white lights to share the ways in which they truly glow like tiny universes unto themselves. In the future she hopes to showcase her paintings, sharing the way in which they were created, encouraging others with PTSD to find their own unique way of healing.

“Once I started using the glow in the dark paint, from then on all I wanted to use was that paint,” said Fran.

“It best captured the glowy way I was feeling and the light I wanted in my work.”

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Bringing Adaptive Sports to Underserved Communities

By Kaitlin Cashwell, Director of Community Integration, America’s Warrior Partnership Adaptive sports and therapeutic recreation programs are more popular than ever within military veteran communities. In fact, recreation consistently ranks as the most sought-after opportunity among veterans participating in America’s Warrior Partnership Community Integration Annual Survey.

However, veterans can face challenges in accessing these services if there are no local programs available.

While many site-based recreation programs do an excellent job of lodging and travel accommodations, sometimes the more effective approach is to bring these programs directly to veterans in their communities.

This is the philosophy of Adaptive Adventures, which operates adaptive sports programs that travel the country to provide direct services, training, and equipment to veterans with physical disabilities and their families.

The heart of Adaptive Adventures is its unique mobile program, which travels to communities and provides

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children, adults, and veterans with physical challenges the opportunity to participate and experience the benefits and camaraderie of outdoor sports. Program offerings range from skiing and snowboarding to cycling, kayaking, rock climbing, and waterskiing. Adaptive Adventures also offers online virtual programs that have helped veterans stay active, healthy, and engaged when in-person programs are unavailable.

In addition to bringing its programs on the road, Adaptive Adventures leads several educational initiatives that help communities establish recreation programs for local veterans and their families. These initiatives deliver training, equipment, resources, and administrative support to organizations that already exist in a community. Adaptive Adventures assists rehab hospitals, VA Medical Centers, gyms, nonprofits, other adaptive sport agencies, and more.

These collaborative efforts expand beyond communities to include equipment manufacturers and retailers.

Adaptive Adventures experts regularly advise engineers on modifying exercise, sports, and outdoor equipment to ensure veterans with physical disabilities are empowered to participate in recreational programs and activities.

Adaptive Adventures facilitates stronger and more inclusive communities for veterans and their families by making connections between service organizations, equipment manufacturers, and individuals. This mission aligns with our vision at of empowering communities to empower veterans. America’s Warrior Partnership is excited to welcome Adaptive Adventures as a new member of the Four Star Alliance.

The Four Star Alliance is a community of adaptive sports, therapeutic recreation, and wellness organizations dedicated to serving military veterans, their families, and caregivers. Each member organization passes a comprehensive vetting process to ensure they are financially stable, properly staffed, and are willing to make and take referrals from a partnering veteran organization. These requirements ensure a veteran can contact a Four Star Alliance organization with the confidence that they will receive quality services from staff who understand the military and veteran culture.

WOUNDS WE CANNOT SEE Post Traumatic Stress Disorder does not always allow the affected to seek help.

Lend a hand and provide them with methods of help, listen and be a friend.

More information about Adaptive Adventures is available at www.adaptiveadventures.org, and information about the Four Star Alliance is available at www.fourstaralliance.org.

Homeland Magazine works with nonprofit veteran organizations that help more than 1 million veterans in life-changing ways each year.

About the Author Kaitlin Cashwell directs and oversees the Community Integration program, including The Network, research projects, community training/ consulting, Corporate Veteran Initiative, Four Star Alliance, and WarriorServe® client relations. Both of her grandfathers served in the military, and she has two brothers-in-law currently serving in the United States Navy. Kaitlin holds a Master’s of Business Administration at Augusta, University’s Hull College of Business.

Resources.

Support.

Inspiration.

About America’s Warrior Partnership

At Homneland Magazine you can visit our website for all current and past articles relating to PTSD, symptoms, resources and real stories of inspiration.

America’s Warrior Partnership is committed to empowering communities to empower veterans.

We fill the gaps between veteran service organizations by helping nonprofits connect with veterans, their families, and caregivers. Our programs bolster nonprofit efficacy, improving their results, and empowering their initiatives.

Resources & Articles available at: www.HomelandMagazine.com

www.AmericasWarriorPartnership.org | @ AWPartnership | #awpartnership

FIGHTING PTSD

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Spotlight

Ms. California, Eileen Dong, Addresses Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Award-Winning Artist As an award-winning actor, model, dancer, songwriter, and host of The Ms Texas Show, Eileen has won First Place at the Australian International Documentary Conference as well as the LA Addys Award. She has modeled for world renowned brands such as L’Oréal and performed at various venues, including the Hobby Center for Performing Arts. As a winner and judge of multiple beauty pageant competitions, she is the reigning Ms. California. Her song was released in recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Host, The Ms Texas Show The Ms Texas Show has become the voice for survivors and advocates of traumatic events, such as family violence, sex trafficking, sexual assault, as well as wartime-related trauma. The show raises awareness and prevention and addresses cultural stigmas.

Spokesperson, Hope Pyx Global Hope Pyx Global is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization dedicated to the awareness and prevention of Family Violence, Sex Trafficking and Sexual Assault locally, nationwide, and globally. Eileen is also a board member of the National Veterans Chamber of Commerce.

AREAS OF SPECIALTY Having worked as an expert directly with ICE, USCIS, DOJ, US District & State Courts, US Attorney’s Office, SEC, nonprofit organizations, and survivors, Ms. Dong has firsthand knowledge and experience.

She conducts virtual and in-person training and speeches to law enforcement, service providers, advocates, and survivors on topics including, but not limited to, Culture Stigma, Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, Sex Trafficking, and Hope and Healing. She helps organizations in converting materials on these subjects into different languages.

MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS Ms. Dong’s merits have been recognized by the United States Congress, the State of Texas, the City of Houston, and the Atlanta City Council. Sylvester Turner, Mayor of Houston, proclaimed January 19th as Eileen Dong Day. Photo by: Simon Suen

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She sits on various boards, advisory boards, committees, and coalitions throughout Texas and nationally. She has also been featured in over 100 domestic and international television, and radio shows and podcasts, performances, PSA’s, documentaries, magazines, and newspapers in multiple languages. She has been heard by over 1.6 million listeners on over 115 podcast networks around the world.

HOW CAN OUR READERS HELP? Join our team of advocates by sharing the social media posts and the interviews on the show to help bring awareness and prevention.

Volunteer locally or remotely. We need graphic designers, photographers, videographers, film directors, models, actors, voice talent, community leaders, influencers, social media and SEO experts, and more.

APRIL IS SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS MONTH What is sexual assault?

Donate to make a difference for victims and survivors.

Hope Pyx Global is a 100% volunteer organization without a single paid employee. This means donations go to victims and survivors.

Sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim. Some forms of sexual assault include attempted rape, fondling or unwanted sexual touching, forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body, and penetration of the victim’s body (rape).

• $25 helps a survivor keep the lights on at home • $45 pays for a safe haven for an adult and two children for one night • $250 buys milk at a shelter for a week • $500 buys meat and food for a shelter for a week • $1,000 covers over 100 hours of onsite childcare in shelter • $2,500 pays for utility costs for a shelter for three weeks • Donation link: www.hopepyxglobal.org/donate-now.html CONTACT www.HopePyxGlobal.org www.YouTube.com/c/TheMsTexasShow www.linktr.ee/EileenDong MsUSATexas@gmail.com

How is this related to the military or veterans?

Sexual assault in the United States military is an ongoing issue. The rates of sexual assault and harassment in the military have been increasing, according to a Pentagon report released on April 30th, 2020. The Defense Department’s fiscal year 2019 report on sexual assault in the military said there were 7,825 sexual assault reports involving service members as victims or subjects, a 3% increase compared to 2018. The reports that are restricted, where survivors confidentially disclose an assault without starting an official investigation, saw a 17% increase from last year, with 2,126 reports.

The military received 1,021 formal sexual harassment complaints, a 10% increase from 2018.

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legal Eagle Straight-forward legal tips for Military and Veteran Business Owners

By Kelly Bagla, Esq.

HELPING YOUR KID START A LEGAL BUSINESS Lemonade stands and lawn mowing are popular ways for kids to earn pocket change, but could they get in legal trouble for their entrepreneurial activities?

Kids just want to be kids, but kids also want to be grown-ups. That’s why letting kids have a neighborhood lemonade stand, yard sales or lawn mowing businesses is a great way for them to learn responsibility and the value of a dollar.

However, child-run businesses can sometimes run into problems if they are not legally compliant with the local laws.

Cities, counties and states have laws that require businesses to secure permits and licenses to operate. Those rules can extent to just about every business, including those owned by a child.

Having a business is a great way for children to focus their energy and efforts on something positive and learning from a young age what entrepreneurial means.

An increasing number of states and communities have started to make it easier for young entrepreneurs to make money, but in many communities, children and teens need to secure the right paperwork to lawfully run their businesses.

It is important to note that a business is a business, no matter the age of the person in charge.

Businesses must adhere to certain legal requirements, and parents must understand these requirements to make sure their kids’ businesses are legal. In addition to completing paperwork, such as obtaining a permit, they may have to pay taxes on the money the business earns.

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GETTING YOUR KID’S BUSINESS LEGAL The first step is to search for more information on the website of the city and county where the business will be located. It’s important to make sure your kid’s business is up to code because anyone can decide to report the business to the authorities. City and county officials in the jurisdiction where the business is located can outline the requirements, explain penalties for noncompliance and provide the proper paperwork to get the process rolling.

You might be asking yourself, “Why go through all of this if it’s just a lemonade stand? What harm could be done?” In some cases, neighbors may feel inconvenienced because customers lining up for lemonade could be blocking driveways or adding more noise or traffic to their usually quite residential street. In addition, competitors have snitched on kid-owned businesses. A landscaping company, for instance, could report a teen-run lawn mowing business for noncompliance to weed out cheaper competition. Yes folks, this actually happened!

It’s important to be aware of the legal risks and liabilities if your child’s business is not legally compliant. Kids who run their businesses without the correct permits or licenses can face closure and other penalties, including but not limited to fines.

Furthermore, a run-in with regulators is almost never a fun experience, especially for a young entrepreneur who is dreaming big.

Go Legal Yourself ® Know Your Business Legal Lifecycle

KID OWNED BUSINESSES

2nd Edition NOW AVAILABLE!

Here are some fun business ideas that your kids can start explore: • Lemonade Stand • Mow Lawns • Academic Tutor • Artist • Baby Sitter • Baker • Candy Maker • Dog Walker • Actor • Podcaster • Author • Clothing designer • IT Services You’ll agree that there is so much potential for your kid to make money, and the best time to learn valuable business lessons coupled with hands-on experience is now.

Award-winning attorney, Kelly Bagla shows you how to avoid legal pitfalls FROM DAY ONE!

Therefore, encourage your young entrepreneur to start any of these kid businesses that make money with the right permits and licenses. You will have given your child a head start in life.

The last thing an entrepreneur wants is to spend valuable time and resources on legal issues, which is why they often drop to the bottom of the pile. But this can be a COSTLY MISTAKE—and Go Legal Yourself is here to make sure it’s one you avoid.

You can incorporate your business, find contracts, and download free resources from www.GoLegalYourself.com

• • • •

For more information on how to legally start and grow your business please visit my website at www.golegalyourself.com

Disclaimer: This information is made available by Bagla Law Firm, APC for educational purposes only as well as to give you general information and a general understanding of the law, and not to provide specific legal advice. This information should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your state.

Gather the right documentation Protect your brand Avoid expensive legal pitfalls Plan and manage growth competatively

Rest assured that no nasty legal surprises will stand between you and your success.

www.GoLegalYourself.com

Get your copy at amazon today!

WWW.HomelandMagazine.com / APRIL 2021

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Divorce During a Pandemic: New Expectations

By Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, California Certified Family Law Specialist Managing Partner, Primus Family Law Group There is no doubt that the last year has been difficult for many. Those relationships that were already on the brink found this year to be exceptionally challenging – especially during multiple quarantines.

Beginning early summer 2020, after the initial COVID-19 lockdown, spouses frustrated with money, division of responsibilities, new challenges of virtual learning and so much time together explored divorce. Many family law firms found their phones “ringing off the hook.”

This surge in divorces was seen even earlier in China, Britain, and Sweden. Filings rose in China in March 2020 as couples emerged from quarantine. While national statistics are not yet available to confirm divorce in the U.S. is on the rise post pandemic, the uptick in phone calls suggests it.

However, the divorce process also looks a lot different now, than it did before the pandemic…

Length of process.

Many things can heighten tensions in a divorce, especially how long it takes to get it done. Add in the effects of the pandemic, including being short staffed, allowing less matters to be heard each day and issues with virtual hearings, and those delays are made even worse.

A pre-pandemic survey by Nolo.com, a leading legal information website, found that “the average time it took to complete a divorce from filing a petition to getting a final court judgment averaged about 11 months.

Cases that went to trial took an average of almost 18 months to resolve.” And that was before the pandemic!

Now because of Coronavirus, the courts are even more congested, and cases are taking so much longer to resolve.

Cost of delays.

Every divorce can be time-consuming, mentally exhausting, and expensive – according to Nolo.com, the average cost of divorce in California is between $17,500 and $38,000, when fees and court costs are considered.

Add on Coronavirus-related delays, and the cost both emotionally and financially can increase exponentially.

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The delay in resolution and the increase in costs mean there is even more to settle. While pre-pandemic some 90 percent of divorce cases did not go to trial, there is often a lot of litigation that occurs before trial is ever set.

Each of these hearings can result in further delays and additional emotional and financial costs.

Alternative Dispute Resolution.

As a result of the above, some lawyers say that during the pandemic the figure of those cases that did not go to trial is currently closer to 98 percent. Becoming more popular in this post-pandemic society is settling versus “going to court.” Mediation and arbitration are two methods for resolving your matter without going to court.

Mediation refers to a process of resolving disputes where a third-party neutral Mediator assists in arriving at a solution that is agreeable to all but does not represent or give advice to either party.

According to the American Bar Association, private arbitration is a process where disputing parties agree that an individual can decide your matter after receiving evidence and hearing arguments. The private arbitration process is like a trial, but like Mediation, they can be quicker and less expensive, on all fronts, than going through litigation and trial.

For more information or to meet with a Primus Family Law Certified Family Specialist, visit www.PrimusFamilyLawGroup.com.

Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, CFLS is the Managing Partner at Primus Family Law. Bonnie’s passion has always been the law and has 11 years of experience as an attorney in Family Law and 18 years in the Family Law Field. Bonnie is fluent in two languages but can speak four. She brings a humorous approach to even the toughest situations, and her clients love her dedication and personal attention.

WWW.HomelandMagazine.com / APRIL 2021

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HUMAN RESOURCES Transition to Business

By Paul Falcone

Family & Transition: Your Private Sector Retirement Options This month’s editorial calendar focuses on, among other things, transition and education, especially for spouse and family. Few topics are better suited to capture all these audiences than your private sector retirement plan. True, you may have a handsome pension plan from your military years of service, but there are additional tax and longterm benefits to investing in your retirement through your private sector employer. Here’s a quick overview of some of the choices that lie ahead in addition to this author’s recommendation for the long haul.

Defined Benefit (aka “Traditional”) Pension Plans Traditional pension plans are fairly rare in corporate America these days, but if you’re fortunate enough to be offered a position with a company that has a defined benefit pension plan in place, run—don’t walk—to accept their offer! That’s because this typical benefit trumps all others and is incredibly valuable in terms of its longterm potential. A “defined benefit” pension, or “DB” plan, provides a monthly annuity or lump sum that you receive at retirement by using a set formula that includes your compensation and your years of service with the organization. Typically, you become eligible to participate in the plan once you reach some service milestone (typically around five years), and it “guarantees” a monthly payout once you reach age 65. (There can be exceptions in terms of corporate bankruptcies, but the Pension Benefit Guarantee Corporation in Washington, D.C. can “guarantee” a percentage of the total payout).

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The key to traditional pension plans, unlike 401(k) plans, is that the company typically pays the entire cost of the benefit and assumes all risks related to the investments, and there is no cost to the employee.

Defined Contribution (aka 401(k)) Plans 401(k) plans and their brethren—403(b) plans in the nonprofit sector and 457 plans in the public sector—like traditional pension plans, help you save for retirement.

There’s one major difference, though—you’re saving your own money that you deduct from each paycheck and are fully responsible for the outcomes of your investment choices. Not quite as attractive as the traditional pension plans described above, 401(k)s make up the bulk of retirement options at most companies and have some unique tax advantages as well.

The model works well in terms of its efficiency and incentives. Companies receive tax breaks if they match a certain percentage of employee investments, and workers receive tax breaks if they set aside a particular amount of money for their own retirement. Do your best to start investing in the company’s 401(k) as soon as you are eligible. Pay particular attention to the company “matching” aspects of the plan. Take advantage of the “full match” offered by the employer. For example, if the company matches $.50 on the dollar up the first six percent of your earnings, set aside six percent of your earnings in your 401(k) plan. You can always go higher and invest more, but don’t leave free money on the table: invest up to the company’s match whenever possible.

Traditional versus ROTH 401(k)s 401(k) plans, like Individual Retirement Accounts (IRA), come in two basic flavors: Traditional and ROTH. The difference between the two has to do with tax treatments of the deductions now and the payouts later in your retirement years. “Traditional” 401(k) plans are known as “salary reduction plans.”

The “salary reduction” element stems from the fact that the money invested by a worker is immediately hidden from taxation. In other words, if you earn $100,000/ year but contribute $15,000 to your Traditional 401(k) plan, the government will tax you as if you only earned $85,000 that year.

The salary reduction element exists because employee contributions to Traditional 401(k) plans are made on a pre-tax basis. Traditional contributions reduce your taxable income in the year you make the contribution— that’s one of the key tax incentives built into 401(k) program design: the more you invest in yourself, the fewer taxes you end up paying the government the following year. There’s a second key incentive that the government uses to incentivize U.S. workers to save for their own retirement via traditional 401(k) investments: the money you invest decade after decade grows taxdeferred until you withdraw it at retirement. Once you retire, you’ll then pay ordinary income tax on all traditional contributions and any gains.

ROTH 401(k) plans, in comparison, work differently because they allow workers to opt to receive their tax incentives at the time of retirement rather than now. For example, ROTHs are not designed to reduce your current taxes. In the example above, if you earn $100,000/year and invest $15,000 into your ROTH 401(k), you’ll still be taxed this year on your full $100,000 salary.

However, the gains on your investments when you retire will be tax free. In other words, with a traditional 401(k), you’ll pay taxes on the gains when you retire; with a ROTH 401(k), you won’t pay taxes on those gains when you retire and can keep all the money you see in the account. Yahoo! Speak with your accountant or financial adviser about which option suits you best.

What Do I Invest In? Major mutual fund investment houses like Vanguard, Fidelity, T. Rowe Price and others offer lifecycle or “target date” funds that match your age. They typically invest in only a few mutual funds in the account—for example, a total U.S. stock market, total international stock market, total U.S. bond market, and total international bond market fund—and simply match your stockbond percentage to your age. At 25, your investment allocation would likely be in 90% stocks and 10% bonds.

At 45, you’ll be in 70% stocks and 30% bonds. At some point, you may be in 60% bonds and 40% stocks as you near retirement. It’s a one-size-fits-all approach to giving you total stock market diversification and low costs.

Simply check what options your employer offers for lifecycle funds or their equivalent, and you’ll be done in a flash. Now that’s smart investing and excellent tax and retirement planning in one fell swoop.

Paul Falcone (www.PaulFalconeHR.com) is a human resources executive and bestselling author on hiring, performance management, and leadership development.

WWW.HomelandMagazine.com / APRIL 2021

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Landing Tech Jobs:

Transitioning Veterans and the Growing Digital Economy For many Veterans, leaving the service is as lifealtering as entering it – and just as disorienting.

It’s a seismic shift that leaves them floundering despite their military-earned competencies. One of the biggest anxiety- and stress-inducing issues?

Employment.

Determining a career path is a huge stumbling block for a lot of Veterans, especially those recently mustered out. Many want to try something new, but don’t know where to start.

Others struggle with how to best leverage their military skills.

Our suggestion? Look into tech.

“In today’s digital landscape, the range of job opportunities is virtually endless.”

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How Veterans fit into today’s digital landscape

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How Veterans fit into today’s digital landscape

• Data Security Technologist

The tech industry is booming – and this isn’t changing any time soon. In fact, studies show that tech is on the rise, which puts technology professionals in high demand across all industries. Coders, data analysts, network administrators, Azure specialists, and more: companies need them, actively look for them, and pay them well.

• System Administrator

Veterans are particularly well-positioned to step into tech sector roles. With excellent soft skills in areas such as leadership, communication, focus, and confidence, Veterans are effective team members and problemsolvers who know how to overcome obstacles and can see a project through to the end.

Start your career journey off right!

Those Veterans with security clearances and other credentials are uniquely qualified for roles with bigname employers like Microsoft, Google, the DoD, etc., that require high levels of security authorization for employment.

The National Veterans Transition Services, Inc. (NVTSI), www.nvtsi.org founded and led by Maurice Wilson, MCPO, USN. (ret), is one of the most well-known. Its REBOOT program picks up where the military’s Transition Assistance Program (TAP) leaves off.

The key is recognizing these skills and qualifications for the job-landing gems they are and capitalizing on them.

What career opportunities are in the tech sector for Vets?

In today’s digital landscape, the range of job opportunities is virtually endless. From writing to code to analyzing data to managing hybrid networks, tech roles are as diverse as the people who fill them.

All offer stability, room for growth, and competitive incomes.

Roles that Veterans are particularly well-suited for include: • Business Analyst • Project Manager • IT Security Specialist • Network Engineers/Administrator • Cloud Infrastructure Engineer • Security Engineer • Software Engineer • Cybersecurity Analyst • Cybersecurity Program Manager 40

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• Cloud Security Engineer

• Scrum Master • Service Now Specialist • Program Manager • Help Desk

Like any mission, successfully achieving a new career hinges on clarity and structure. There are numerous organizations designed to help Veterans transition successfully into the civilian workforce.

A two-week intensive program, REBOOT works with Veterans to relearn, rebuild, and rebrand themselves as civilians. It provides networking opportunities and other career-defining exercises that help Veterans get clear on their future and what they need to do to make their dreams a reality.

Successfully navigating the experience requirement maze Whether you held a technology position in the military or not, a major hurdle to stepping into the civilian tech sector is bridging the gap between your military experience and the civilian workforce’s reliance on documentation.

Civilian employers look for and make hiring decisions based on diplomas, certifications, licenses, etc. Many qualified and capable Veterans lose out on jobs simply because they don’t have papers verifying their expertise. Recognizing this gap and including it in your career planning helps mitigate frustration, stress, and confusion.

Again, there are numerous organizations out there who can help you earn the necessary credentials for the tech role(s) you’re interested in. Many of them are schools/education facilities, and you can also learn directly from working tech professionals.

CCS Learning Academy (CCSLA) www.ccslearningacademy.com is the training division of CCS Global Tech, a full-service tech provider. Designed by tech professions to support upcoming and current technology professionals, CCSLA offers industry-leading courses and credentials in many current technologies and applications, including DoD required certifications.

Their experienced team has been helping Veterans design and execute successful career paths for 20+ years. From newly-transitioned Vets to those looking to change or boost their established career, CCSLA offers insider perspective and know-how not found in conventional learning institutions.

Getting your foot in the tech sector door Once you’ve got clarity and the right documentation, there’s still the stomach-knotting process of actually finding a job. Do you wade through LinkedIn’s job board?

Hire a headhunter?

CCS Global Tech (www.ccsglobaltech.com) offers another option: their Veteran Job Placement Services.

Based in California, the international tech company specializes in business intelligence, data analytics, Azure management services, and cybersecurity training and job placement.

Their Veteran Job Placement Services are designed to leverage the highly-skilled ex-military workforce by placing qualified Veterans on established projects; they work with clients such as Microsoft and Amazon, and they need qualified people to fill open roles. With projects in both the public and private sectors, CCS Global Tech can help Veterans leverage their military skills and get their civilian career off to a strong start.

Conclusion Your military experience should enhance your future, and the tech sector offers a multitude of opportunities for translating your service into a satisfying career.

NVTSI, CCS Learning Academy, and CCS Global Tech are efficient, effective conduits for Vets ready to tap into the tech industry.

WWW.HomelandMagazine.com / APRIL 2021

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WHAT’S NEXT Transition to Civilian Life

By Eve Nasby

Validate Your Value to Find Your Freedom 23 and Me A few years ago I was privileged to be invited to a VIP tour aboard the USS Nimitz. I’d spent 25 years in the civilian business world, so this was a new experience. A COG flew us to the ship, where we were then guided to a tiny “tower” where hundreds of dials, screens and buttons rose above a flurry of ringing phones, rapidly delivered white papers and a cacophony of jets beneath us being arrested and thrown off of the ship in rapid succession.

I was mesmerized.

This was all being orchestrated by a young lady, who was incredibly calm under pressure, friendly and exuded obvious leadership prowess. I asked the young sailor who had escorted us up about her. He invited me to chat with her.

My question to her came from pure fascination.

“How old are you?” She smiled broadly and said, “23.”

No further questions, your honor.

The Great Divide of Experience 23 years old and running a multi billion dollar operation with thousands of lives literally beneath her, relying on her and those around her to make good decisions. You may be reading this and nodding your head while shrugging and thinking, “And?”.

However, my mind raced back to her peers in the civilian work world who, simultaneously, were wondering if they put enough almond milk in their customer’s latte.

Most civilian employers would be shocked to learn that in our military today, 18-23 year olds may have responsibility for dozens of people and millions of dollars worth of equipment.

Those who have served understand what it is like to follow in order to lead. Most of your ambitious civilian counterparts want only to know how to lead.

In the job search competition, your civilian counterpart knows how to interview, write a resume and network.

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You know how to get work done, be responsible work as a team and create success.

The Value Proposition Many civilian employers simply don’t recognize the value of veterans. And subsequently the veterans do not understand the value of themselves because they don’t get hired right away. Understanding your value and effectively communicating that value will break this vicious cycle.

You deserve to have a rewarding career after your service. You’re skilled and experienced in taking and following orders. You even know, by training, how to serve and follow directives you may not even agree with. But you do them - because you’re a team player and trust the system.

You may also be skilled in leadership, but you know you don’t always have to be the leader. It can be a stark contrast to the civilian work world. All too often, civilians look for any and every way to climb up the ladder to be the leader and be first.

Humility Trumps Entitlement Does that seem defeating and frustrating already? Don’t let it. Here’s the good news. Companies are looking for great team players, and you, veteran, are the best team player that a company could hope to hire. We know the best leaders are those who have learned to humble themselves and follow. Those who have done the most menial tasks have learned the greatest character trait of leadership, which is humility.

Civilians, particularly younger ones in the workforce, tend to just want to be first, without learning how to be last. Unfortunately, the modern trend of receiving participation awards throughout life, for essentially no noble cause except for just “being,” has caused quite an “entitlement era.” Competing for nothing, but expecting (and getting) everything, may seem too good to be true. And it is. Companies looking for talent recognize laziness and entitlement from a mile away.

You, on the other hand, have learned humility. You know what it’s like to be hungry, worn out, sleep deprived and on watch.

Dave Grundies

You’ve shed blood, sweat and tears to earn all that you have today. Did you know that as a member of the US military, you will have worked the same number of hours in a 5 year tour than civilians have in 21 years of work? -Brian O’Connor

Never miss another birthday. Focus on the positives. Take that list and tape it to your dashboard, your bathroom mirror and the foreheads of your unruly children.

5. And lastly, be prepared. You wouldn’t jump out of a plane with a backpack instead of a parachute. During your reflection time, you should gain a better idea of what you want to do. So, prepare for it. If you want to live somewhere specific, prepare how to make that happen. If you want a certain career, prepare what needs to happen to get there. If you have debt, prepare the best way to stick to a budget and hold off on buying the unnecessary items until you’re more settled in civilian life.

Validate Your Value Why does this matter? Because many veterans in transition don’t recognize their value right away. It’s easy to feel defeated if you’ve sent out hundreds of resumes and gotten only one response. It’s easy to feel like you’re incapable, if something like choosing a health care provider for the first time is overwhelming for you and normal for others. It’s normal to have heightened anxiety in transition - as you’re transitioning away from your former sense of purpose.

We are a community of people designed to collaborate and do life together. We invite you to write to us to share your personal tips to help the 4 million readers each month who come here for ideas and hope.

Here are a few thoughts to help form your path to your next purpose and find your freedom:

Send an email to Eve at eve@bandofhands.com Or connect on Linked in at linkedin.com/in/eve-nasby-given-hiring-expert

1. Find a mentor. Find someone in your sphere of influence to talk to. Listen to their stories about mission critical mistakes and how to avoid them. Please, tap into Social Media groups, LinkedIn groups and mentors within your civilian workplace that will walk this new path with you. You will find that people want to help.

2. Embrace the change. This may sound counter intuitive, as change is stressful. But, cherish and memorialize the past and appreciate that it is part of your history. In part, it has made you who you are today.

Create a “recognition” wall at home with pictures of your platoon, your medals. Embrace your past without dwelling in it. There is a great opportunity ahead if you allow it. Your brain needs constant challenge and will continue to develop as you seek new adventures.

3. Use this time to your advantage. Accept this transition time as a gift of pause and reflection. Use it to think about where you want to go, as you reflect upon where you have been. Write your short term (finding a job) and long term (getting a PHD or starting your own business) goals and begin steps towards them. Get comfortable with what you like to do as well as what you don’t like to do.

www.bandofhands.com

4. Repeat: “I will get through this!” Think about all of the times you have had to move. Think of the stress involved for you and the kids to up end your family, schools, friend groups and more. It was a challenge, but you made it. This is another move, and you will make it through this one too. How do you do it? Make a list of all of the positives this change will bring for you. Better pay.

Better flexibility in your schedule. More time with the family.

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ENLISTED TO ENTREPRENEUR

By Vicki Garcia veteransinbiz@gmail.com

When you’re upset, it’s easy to let emotion seep into your writing. I’ve told you before, sometimes your emotion isn’t serving you. More importantly, it’s easy to throw in a few jabs (if someone else is at fault) or to build up a pretty tall wall (if you’re at fault). So the best thing you can do is calm down. Take a walk. Take some time. Breathe.

Writing difficult emails d iffi ema cult ils...

Some people say that you should write the email you want to write and then you can write the email you really are going to write. I don’t recommend that strategy if you aren’t 100% clear that first email isn’t going to go out. I say this because years ago a coworker of mine had written one of those emails. They left it in their unsent email. But they had even put the person’s email in the To field. They just hadn’t mailed it.

You know where this is going, right?

A couple of weeks later, they had a problem with their email software and needed to reset it, etc. The result?

You guessed it. That email that was sitting in an unsent folder ended up getting sent. Ouch! So if you can, just don’t write when you’re upset.

I follow a marketing guru named Chris Lema. Chris is a WordPress savant, and usually writes things way over my head. But, lately he’s been sending out emails in plain English. It might be interesting to hear a different voice, especially Chris’. He’s given me permission to run this.

Don’t use a sandwich structure Do you know when they told you that feedback should be sandwiched between compliments? They were lying.

You hear it all the time, but the advice is there to help you more than to help the person you’re writing to.

People want feedback. They want to hear the truth.

And you don’t have to waste time by trying to come up with silly statements before and after. It’s pretty clear you’re giving them feedback or frustrated with something. Your best bet is to skip the, “I hope this finds you well,” because it doesn’t come across as authentic.

Chris: Sometimes it can feel like writing difficult emails is a full-time job. Every week it seems like I have an opportunity to write a difficult email. At least once. As I talked about it with a colleague, we realized that we had each learned tricks from mentors over the years.

It seems like you don’t just learn it from doing it. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if I hadn’t gotten mentoring in this area, I would still be writing difficult emails as horribly as I did when I was 25 – 25 years ago.

Back then I wrote an angry email, to someone in a role two levels above mine, copying way too many people.

I would have been fired, except for one thing – I had already given notice. Maybe I wrote that email that way because I knew I was stepping out. But it and I were wrong. He didn’t fire me, but on that day, even as I only had a week left there, he decided to invest some time in talking about how to write challenging emails out are what yourtocustomers want first before that Find we never excited write.

build a whole company around what you think Some Tips for Writing customers want.Difficult Emails Don’t write when you’re upset 44

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Whether you’re providing the details for why you’ve not given someone a contract, decided not to hire someone, announced a reduction in force, or articulated the reason you failed at something— whatever it is, keep the main thing the main thing.

Don’t ramble That last suggestion for writing difficult emails needs to you be reinforced with this suggestion. Don’t ramble. Know your why you’re writing. And articulate it. State it. Sooner rather than later.

Some people put paragraphs of the story at the beginning of a difficult email because they’re trying to create a larger narrative. And those emails just end up rambling. Don’t do it. Don’t be harsh. Don’t be mean. But be honest and direct. Waste no time getting to the point.

We had to connect with the audience in what might be a stressful day for them, and make sure they heard that we cared and were going to help them get thru it—all while explaining what happened and what we were doing about making sure it never happened again.

Empathy is a powerful tool. Use it.

Don’t use broad generalities When we have to write difficult emails because we’re giving people feedback they need to hear, writing in generalities not only makes it seem like you don’t know (to a deeper degree) your main point, but it can often come across as an exaggeration that isn’t helpful. So if you’re letting someone know that things aren’t working out, make sure you’re not slipping into “always” and “never” land.

Don’t hesitate to use the phone I know these are rules about writing difficult emails, but never forget that you have another tool at your disposal.

You can always pick up the phone and make a call. And sometimes that’s the best move. I once said something that clearly touched a nerve. I felt bad because it was clearly not my intention, but I had hurt someone’s feelings. I just knew it.

Don’t forget to give the benefit of the doubt When my mentor sat me down years ago, his main point was that I never knew the whole story. And because I didn’t know the whole story, I was going to end up telling myself some part of a story that I had made up for myself. And that would impact my reactions. I would react differently, not because of what really happened, but because of how I filled in the blanks.

So I wrote an apology. Trying to make it clear I had no intention of hurting them, but also acknowledging that my intention was secondary to their actual feelings.

Then I did the thing they didn’t expect. I called them.

“Hey, I just emailed you an apology. I realized that I must have hurt you by my words and that was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But I understand I still did it and I wanted to apologize.”

Assume positive intent. That’s the phrase I’ve learned. And even when it’s hard, it’s worth doing – especially when you have to write a challenging email or deliver tough news.

Don’t add to the challenge by making poor assumptions and reacting to them.

They were quick to explain that in reality, the issue had been on their side. They knew, the moment they’d reacted, that their response was out of line and not really about my words. They loved the call and I’m pretty sure it built a stronger relationship because we talked about it, rather than just sending two emails back and forth.

Don’t forget you need data and a heart It may not be the first rule, but it’s clearly not the last. You can’t ever forget that you need to bring more than just facts to a challenging situation.

How do you structure a difficult email?

There’s a book that goes into one structure, called The Minto Pyramid Principle. It’s a book on writing and logic and it’s not an easy read. But the structure the author introduces is:

One time someone on my staff created a prototype of a software program with sample data from our actual customer database. This data appeared and was cached

by Google, long after the prototype was cancelled. The last four digits of their SSN had been captured by Google and was being presented in that xxx-xx-1234 structure online when you searched for their name.

• Situation: Explain what some may already know. But set the stage.

• Complication: This is the change, the tension that is introduced.

• Question: This is the “what do we do now?” It flows from the complication.

The facts included several data points that mitigated the fear of the person who discovered it. Very few records had been used. No records had presented any additional personal information (like addresses, age, gender, etc).

And even though the data had been available for a year, none of the few records exposed had led to any consequences whatsoever. But that’s just the facts.

• Answer: This is the proposed resolution. It’s also the reason for the email.

It gets better. It gets easier Last month I wrote more than a couple of difficult emails. Each time, I waited until evening. I waited until I was sufficiently calm, had the data I needed, was able to articulate what I wanted to happen, and could write it from a position where I could be polite.

When we had to write the apology email, we were really writing the first of several crisis communication emails.

And that’s when empathy is way more powerful than just the facts.

So, thank you Chris Lema for your sage advice.

You can reach Chris at chris@chrislema.com.

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Veterans Chamber of Commerce

By Joseph Molina www.vccsd.org

Women Veterans in Business The number of women veterans keep rising steadily over the years due to an increase in the number of women entering and leaving the military. Women long before they were recognized officially have served in the military since the days of the revolutionary war, showing patriotism, sacrifice, courage, tenacity, leadership, sound judgment, resilience, all special qualities that are valued in military service.

Women have been a crucial asset to the military and we at the National Veterans Chamber want Honor and show our gratitude for their contribution.

Unique challenges of women veterans in business Veterans who exit the military service may also have a hard time fitting with civilian life. Women may encounter more difficulties compared to their male counterparts.

According to a survey conducted by the VA, the result shows that only about 1.4% of female Americans have served in the military in comparison with growth rate expected to increase to 16% by 2043, women are the fastest-growing segment in the veteran community.

This may bring some unique challenges faced by women veterans, because of the steady increase in number.

Women veterans are more likely to become entrepreneurs, maybe this is as a result of a necessity.

Women veterans have an unemployment rate 4% higher than other women. While younger women veterans face a stark of over 20%.

All these, in addition to the stigma from the society that makes it difficult to go from soldier to what the society expects to appropriate female behavior. Also, at the end of their service, unlike male counterparts who are easily seen as heroes and warriors, women have a harder time identifying as veterans.

Another challenge female-veterans encounter in business is a lack of capital.

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Women veterans are more likely than males to secure government contracts. This was revealed in a recent study where women are less likely to go for loans even when their financial profiles were far better than their male counterparts. This may be in large part due to fear of being denied.

How do women veterans fare in business?

What we do know is that women veterans who are given the necessary tools, they end up doing great things in business. Women have proven to be a better risk factor when it comes to loans, women tend to make payments on time and are less likely to default.

The traits that make women veterans successful in service are what makes them thrive in business too.

Integrity, the ability to take initiative, a resilient spirit that adapts to changing and evolving situations, all unique traits that make successful business owners.

Despite the challenges, the veterans who make it are twice as successful in terms of revenue and longevity.

2021

According to statistics by the department of labor in 2012 alone, women veterans contributed to about 20b a 26% increase since 2007. Representing about 400,000 women veteran-owned businesses as of 2012 makes them the fastest-growing segment in the entrepreneurship community. To makes the picture clearer, this is over 200% increase from 2007.

GOALS

As a nation with futuristic ideals, it is not only a moral imperative but an economic one, that we take care of women veterans. These women reinvest and rededicate themselves to the future of our country, through service and through entrepreneurship. We must consider the unique challenges they face, and we should work towards adopting a better system that works to empower more women veterans immediately after service.

www.HomnelandMagazine.com

Women veterans & business traits

Transitioning out of the Military into the Civilian Workforce?

Some veterans are born with special personality traits that make them outstanding leaders coupled with the military training they undergo. This also plays a key role in how they take on their businesses. What they learn and the culture they embrace during service such as the ability to work as teams, leadership growth, early leadership, progress after failure, focus and execution, curious and knowledge seeker, action-oriented, thoroughly trained, are what makes an outstanding entrepreneur.

Finding a job in the civilian world may seem easy at first. After all, you have learned skills, practiced leadership and demonstrated initiative that will make you successful wherever you go.

The reality, though, is that it can be difficult.

In fact, it can be downright depressing, demotivating and you may feel totally disillusioned.

In Summary: It is no surprise that women veterans are successful business owners. It is our duty as a Nation and as Veterans to support all Veteran-Entrepreneurs and to provide the tools and the set of skills one needs to succeed. Women-Veterans have demonstrated a unique ability to succeed in business and have shown to possess a set of skills and traits that are crucial to Entrepreneurial Success.

Veterans In Transition is dedicated to you and to helping you succeed in your transition.

For editorial & monthly columns regarding transitioning to business, career advice, tips, workshops, transition to education, entrepreneurship, straight-forward legal tips for military and veteran business owners and more, visit > www.tinyurl.com/Veterans-In-Transition

The Veterans Chamber of Commerce Radio Show • Would you like to Nominate a Hero? Let us know and we will announce it on the show.

• Would you like to share your story? Be our guest on the show – Complete the REQUEST FORM.

VETERANS

• If you have any ideas or project that you would like to see Developed by the Veterans Chamber send your idea to: veteransccsd@gmail.com

IN TRANSITION

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READY TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CAREER? Talk to our friendly veterans admissions counselor today! admissions@icohs.edu (858)581-9460 www.icohs.edu Become a certified IT professional in 15 weeks with no prior experience necessary!

Why ICOHS College?

Career Outcomes:

• GI Bill & MyCAA Approved

• Technical Support Specialist

• Flexible Schedule

• IT Support Technician

• Online & In-person Hybrid Classes

• Network Administrator

• Small Class Size

• Network Analyst

• Hands-on Training

• Systems Administrator

• Lifelong Job Placement and Career

The median IT job salary in the US was about $88,000 last year.

Counseling

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HIRE THE BEST AT NO RISK Employers LOVE Hiring Veterans! www.bandofhands.com

A Veteran Owned Business Proudly Supporting Veterans, Military Spouses and Active Duty Military looking for work and employers needing great workers.

All-inclusive company memberships starting at $100/month provide: • Immediate access to quality talent • Unbeatable rates with no hidden costs • Unlimited job postings, unlimited use of local recruiters • Hire quickly with one click • Hire as permanent employee at any time with no rollover fee • Built in quality control & background checks • Hire on to our payroll to avoid risks and costs or put your current employees / temps on our payroll - no liability, no cost of turnover

Join the Band of Hands Network to Start Hiring Talent at No Risk TODAY! 50

Contact Eve Nasby, President of Band of Hands and passionate military supporter to learn more and get started. eve@bandofhands.com

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WHAT’S NEXT?

BECOME A CRANE OPERATOR Skillbridge Approved

Discover an exciting new career opportunity after serving your country. Heavy Equipment Colleges of America proudly supports and honors the brave women and men who fight for our country.

• VA education benefits and Career Skills Program (CSP) • Job placement help and hands-on, classroom interaction • Get certified in as little as three weeks

Veteran Only Locations

Joint Base Lewis McChord in Lakewood, WA | Ft. Irwin, CA (active duty, too) Phone: 760-383-1030 | Email: ftirwin@hecofa.com

TRAIN TO BECOME A CRANE OPERATOR TODAY. Visit: www.heavyequipmentcollege.com www.heavyequipmentcollege.com/campuses/california-ft-irwin-csp/ No Official US Government or DOD endorsement is implied

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BEFORE SERVED HONORABLY.

Workshops for Warriors is a nonprofit school that provides veterans and transitioning service members with hands-on training and nationallyrecognized credentials in CNC machining, CAD/CAM programming, and welding.

Our students earn credentials that open doors to jobs anywhere in the U.S. Call us at (619) 550-1620.

AFTER EARNED A CAREER IN JUST 4 MONTHS. ENROLL NOW AT WFW.ORG CAD/CAM Programming CNC Machining Welding DoD SkillBridge Organization

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Opportunities in Law Enforcement You’ve served your country, now serve your community!

Military and law enforcement have had a longstanding relationship with overlaps in training exercises, equipment, and, most important, personnel.

It is not uncommon for a service member to make the jump from the military to law enforcement as both professions look for the same characteristics; leadership, fidelity, chain of command, and teamwork are all common themes in both professions.

Quite understandably, many American military veterans often gravitate to a career in law enforcement when the time comes to rejoin the civilian workforce.

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The two professions have many fundamental similarities; from the uniforms they wear with pride, to the firm command structure they serve under, to great personal risk they endure while protecting those who cannot protect themselves.

The following agencies are actively hiring & proudly support our veterans, active military and the families that keep together.

Military service can be a perfect entrance into a law enforcement career.

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WE DON’T JUST THANK

VETERANS,

WE HIRE

THEM.

PGHJOBS.NET CITY OF PITTSBURGH - E/O/E

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Resources Support Transition HEALTH INSPIRATION

Homeland Magazine www.HomelandMagazine.com

Voted 2017, 2018, 2019 & 2020 BEST resource, support media for veterans, military families & military personnel.

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Homeland Magazine

2021 Editorial Calendar & Themes Homeland Magazine has a fluid calendar, as we are adding features & collaborative “pay-it-forward” stories each month.

* 2021- Added focus on community health - veteran organizations, education, transition & virtual support for active military and veterans to combat the challenge of transitioning due to the effects of COVID-19

Editorial Themes Include: • JANUARY

• JULY

Military & Veterans Life 2021 Health & Wellness 2021 Transition & New Year 2021

Independence Day Disabled Veterans • AUGUST

• FEBRUARY

Summer Issue Purple Heart Day Tribute To Service Dogs

Adaptive Sports Transition / Education Military Spouse & Family

• SEPTEMBER

• MARCH

“Never Forget” 9/11 Gold Star Mother’s Day National Suicide Prevention Month

Women’s History Month Brain Injury Awareness Month Month of the Military Caregiver

• OCTOBER

• APRIL

Month of the Military Child

Breast Cancer Awareness Month Transition Assistance Programs

• MAY

• NOVEMBER

Memorial Day Issue National Military Appreciation Month

VETERANS DAY * (Bonus Issue) Family Caregivers

• JUNE

• DECEMBER

PTSD Awareness Month Mental Health Programs

Holiday Issue / BEST of 2021 Pearl Harbor Remembrance

Award Winning Monthly Columns Include: • Transition to Civilian Life

• Veteran Community

- Careers, Entrepreneurship, Preparation, Skills, Resources, GI Bill/Education.

• Health & Wellness

- Veteran Organizations - Resources, Support - Events, Military History, Housing - VA Lending & Financial Services.

- Mental Health, Art & Healing, Caregivers, VA Benefits, Healthcare & Family Health, Health & Medical Clinical Trials.

- Legal Tips for Military and Veteran Business Owners, Family Law.

• Legal

HOMELAND www.HomelandMagazine.com - mikemiller@HomelandMagazine.com (858) 275-4281/ January 2018 7

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How it Works:

In partnership with: 62

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PTSD COACH PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) is a mental health problem that some people develop after experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening event, like combat, a natural disaster, a car accident, or sexual assault. More than half of individuals experience at least one trauma in their lives.

The National Center for PTSD offers FREE, confidential mobile apps that provide help, education, and support related to mental health.

Download PTSD Coach to:

Learn about PTSD and available treatments Track your PTSD symptoms over time Practice relaxation, mindfulness, and other stress-management exercises Grow your support network Access crisis resources

bit.ly/PTSDTreatmentWorksHomeland

PTSD Coach is not meant to replace professional care.

Search “PTSD Coach”

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