LENS: Military Separation

A Different Lens

Mental Health Monthly

By RanDee McLain, LCSW

Healthy Communication thru Military Separation

I am officially about 6 weeks into being a geobachelor. As I mentioned before, my partner took orders overseas. These orders have us geographically separated for approximately 24 months. Once the shock wore off, we talked a lot about what that would look like and how we can best stay connected.

Neither of us are new to the military life or extended time apart. He has over thirty-six years of military experience himself and I am a veteran as well. That does not make it easier. A few months ago, I talked about the rollercoaster of emotions involved in military transition and some strategies to get thru the difficult times.

One of those strategies was healthy communication…. but what does that really mean? What does it mean to have healthy and effective communication and why is it so important?

Let us start with the easier question of why it is so important.

Healthy communication fosters healthy relationships. Healthy communications reduce misunderstandings and can elevate a sense of connectedness. When partners can communicate effectively even thru distance it can boost the overall moral of both individuals.

I will reiterate what I said before BE INTENTIONAL.

Set aside time for conversations and minimize the distractions. That may be hard with time difference but do your best. My partner and I have a 17-hour time difference. That means one of us is either waking up or going to sleep while the other is wide awake. That makes for interesting conversations. The other choice of time is right in the middle of my workday. Sometimes, I can schedule this for a convenient break. The challenge is actively working with veterans …. I can’t always schedule their crisis moments. So many times, a call in the middle of day isn’t feasible. The other challenge with the timing of calls is striving too not be superficial. It is easy to fall into the rut of …how are you? How is work? How was workout? …. the same series of questions on repeat. In my case we are usually in a time crunch, so we hit the basic. Even though we talk often there is a lack of substance at times. This is on me to be more intentional in my timing and communication.

Here are a few ways to keep the communication going.

Emails: Generally, emails are a quick and effective way to share information. Emails are great to give updates or keep your partner in the loop on current things going on. The challenge of emails is at times you can not truly understand the emotion or personalization that comes across in a phone call or video chat. You are not able to express the same level of connectedness.

Care Packages: This is where you can be creative and let the kids in your life put input into the package. This can include cookies, photos, magazines, hygiene items…. really anything your loved one may be missing while they are away. This is especially impactful for holidays they may miss while they are away.

Cards/Letters: These are inexpensive and meaningful. These can be re-read over time and used as mementos. It is a great surprise for your service member to receive. I recently learned that the dollar store has some great cards – very inexpensive. This is also great to include the kids and they each make a special card for your loved one.

Phone/Video: There are various apps that can be used to video chat. WhatsApp is a free app that allows you to video chat and text with your loved one. This app only uses the data but no additional fees. This is great to actually see your loved one.

There are many ways to stay connected. Find what works for you and your loved one and be intentional!

Stay healthy…and stay communicating!

www.Courage2Call.org

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Fentanyl Leaves No Margin for Error for Veterans with a Substance Use Disorder

After spending the last forty years of my life helping people recover, I must acknowledge that we have recently entered a new era in the battle against addiction, and the main catalyst has been the widespread availability of the hyper-potent opioid fentanyl.

There is simultaneously so much hope and despair in the field of addiction treatment. On the one hand, we have more tools than ever before to help people who are addicted to substances. On the other hand, the overdose epidemic has quietly run rampant and taken an unbelievable toll. Accidental overdose has emerged as the leading cause of death for people aged 18 to 45 (according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control).

Some demographics are affected more than others, and younger people (aged 18-30) make up the majority of these overdose fatalities. Their ranks include active military members, as we are reminded by devastating stores like the four West Point cadets who overdosed last month on Spring Break.

Of course, Veterans are a ‘high risk’ demographic, as they have traditionally struggled with substance abuse at a higher rate than civilians.

Encouraging Data and Signs for Hope

The most encouraging development has been the positive outcomes we are getting for people who use medication assisted treatment (MAT). At Confidential Recovery, the outpatient drug rehab program that I founded in San Diego, we achieve the highest rates of recovery by combining MAT with counseling, and selfhelp programs.

The appropriate use of medication (such as buprenorphine) minimizes cravings and withdrawal symptoms. For most clients, these medications produce no sedation or cognitive impairment. Research has shown that these medications have no adverse effects on a person’s intelligence, mental capability, physical functioning, or employability.

This ‘whole patient’ approach helps the patient feel ‘well’ as quickly as possible, and supports their commitment to living free of drugs. By combining the medication with counseling and self-help programs (like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous), we give our clients the opportunity to profoundly change their lives. Studies conducted in the U.S. have shown that the success rate for medication assisted treatment can be 80% (or higher).

Every Use is Potentially Deadly (So Take Action Now)

I can’t over-emphasize the urgency with which you should address a substance abuse problem, especially if street drugs are being used that may contain fentanyl. Fentanyl is increasingly mixed in with other drugs, like cocaine. The result is so often deadly that every use should be considered potentially fatal.

There is Hope Available Everywhere

The good news is that addiction is a predictable beast, and the path to recovery is well-worn. When I get a call from a concerned family member of a Veteran who is slipping deeper into drug abuse, I have a proven playbook to get them started toward recovery. It can sometimes require an intervention, which is a process through which we organize the loved ones of the substance using individual, and offer them the gift of treatment.

The process of recovery might not be easy, but it is simple. We can show you a proven design for living drug-free. It can be unfathomable to the user in the throes of addiction, but once they start recovering, momentum builds from every positive decision, and soon their life gets better than they imagined possible.